Harley-Davidson recalls over 31,000 motorcycles
By Wayfarer |
RiMS: A New Bike Racing Simulation Game
By Wayfarer |
Become more than just a rider in RiMS Racing!
RiMS sounds like a really exciting project for all fans of motorcycling sports, boasting a new addition to the simulation genre. RaceWard and Nacon partnering together to deliver a brand new Bike Racing Sim coming out on all gaming platforms this summer.
NACON and RaceWard Studio are pleased to unveil a new video for RiMS Racing, a motorcycling video game with a unique concept of combining mechanics and riding. Because the race is not won purely on the track! NACON who has become a key player in racing games publishing over the last few years will make one more announcement in the upcoming days.
By making mechanics a central part of the game, RiMS Racing provides a unique simulation experience requiring players to combine both engineering and riding skills. Using an innovative mechanics management system, you can optimize every part of your motorbike down to the smallest component. With RiMS Racing, the Italian studio RaceWard sets a new standard for realism and customization options.
Over 500 official spare parts available and more than 200 official items of equipment for the rider are perfectly recreated in the game and realistically simulated even down to how each can wear down, Just like a real rider, you can analyze the status of your motorbike in real time to perfect your set-up. From brake disc temperature and tyre pressure to suspension behaviour and electronics, the ultra-realistic and precise physics of RiMS Racing recreates every hazard of the race.
You start your adventure by choosing a motorbike from eight of the most powerful European and Japanese models, recreated with unparalleled accuracy thanks to tight collaboration with each manufacturer. The video features the MV Agusta F4 RC and its precision mechanics. This four-cylinder bike with over 200 horsepower is MV Agusta’s flagship model and is fitted with an Ohlins TTX 36 shock absorber, Brembo radial braking system and fairing made primarily of carbon. All these components are reproduced in the finest detail in RiMS Racing.
Another iconic motorcycle that players will love riding is the Ducati Panigale V4 R. With this masterpiece from Ducati, the Italian manufacturer of sport-inspired motorcycles characterized by high-performance engines, innovative design and cutting-edge technology, every detail has been designed specifically for racing: aerodynamics, the chassis, performance, even the mesmerizing sound of its engine.
Silverstone, Laguna Seca, Suzuka, Nürburgring, Paul Ricard… Travel the world and enjoy thrilling races on 10 faithfully recreated official circuits. For those who prefer roads, five routes in the stunning landscapes of the United States, Norway, Australia, Spain and Italy have been recreated for a different racing experience on two wheels!
RiMS Racing will be available on August 19, 2021 on PlayStation®4, PlayStation®5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S, and PC.
A Nintendo Switch™ version of the game will be released at a later date.
Watch the new Video Trailer for RiMS Racing:
Harmful E15 Fuel Labeling Changes that Could Hurt Engines
By Wayfarer |
MIC Tackles Harmful E15 Fuel Labeling Changes that Could Hurt Engines
The MIC is opposing proposed changes by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to modify and remove E15 fuel labeling requirements at gas pumps nationwide. This fuel includes high levels of ethanol, between 10.5 and 15 percent, which can harm powersports engines, degrade performance, increase emissions, cause fuel leaks and even engine failures – as well as voiding manufacturer warranties.
The proposed labeling changes will make it more difficult for consumers to distinguish the difference between E15 and the less harmful E10 fuel, and will fail to communicate the risks of improper E15 use.
“While we appreciate the addition of the word ‘motorcycles’ in the proposed label, we are concerned that the other significant changes to the label minimize its effect and make it look like just another sticker, rather than an alert that people need to pay attention to,” said Scott Schloegel, senior vice president at the MIC Government Relations Office.
“The proposed warning label does not adequately notify consumers about the improper use of E15,” he said. “To the contrary, the proposed changes stress ‘Safe for use in’ rather than drawing ‘ATTENTION’ to the label and instructing them to ‘Use only in’ certain products. The proposed label also removes other critical alert language and replaces it with more matter-of-fact language as outlined in the comparisons below.”
The MIC’s GRO has written to the new EPA Administrator Michael S. Regan, stating that the proposed labeling changes will result in adverse environmental, safety, and economic consequences, and deny consumers basic information about engine compatibility. Under the proposed labeling requirements, the words “ATTENTION” and “E15 Up to 15% Ethanol” and “Use Only In” would be replaced with “Contains Up to 15% Ethanol” and “Safe for Use In.”
“The labeling changes do not adequately alert tens of millions of powersports consumers,” Schloegel said. “Fuel dispensers should absolutely be equipped with clear and direct signage.”
A Harris Poll conducted in February 2020, on behalf of the Outdoor Power Equipment Institute, found that an increasing number of Americans, nearly two in five last year, mistakenly believe that high-ethanol gasoline blends are safe for use in lawn equipment or other small-engine products. The poll found that more than three in five Americans assume that any fuel sold at pumps nationwide is safe for all of their gas-powered products. Further, many consumers said that E15 labeling was ineffective in communicating the danger of using that fuel type in small engines found in motorcycles, ATVs, side-by-sides, and other gasoline-powered machines.
Women’s Motorcycle Tours Celebrates 10 Years
By Wayfarer |
Women’s Motorcycle Tours Celebrates 10 Years of Life Changing Experiences For Ladies Who Ride Motorcycles
Alisa Clickenger, owner of Women’s Motorcycle Tours, has been empowering women and building confidence for women through motorcycling since 2011.
Women’s Motorcycle Tours (WMT) was the first motorcycle tour and event company that specializes exclusively for women motorcycle riders. There is nothing more rewarding than crafting unique and engaging experiences to bring women motorcyclists and women together who are interested in the motorcycle lifestyle. Whether women want to join in for a day ride, a weekend retreat, a weeklong tour, or a coast to coast event, there are numerous ways to join Women’s Motorcycle Tours and experience the sisterhood of the motorcycling community and the freedom of the open road.
For the last 10 years it has been the mission of Alisa Clickenger, Women’s Motorcycle Tours owner, to reinvent the way women motorcycle riders come together. It has always been her goal to give a voice to all women riders on all brands of bikes and from all disciplines of riding. Women’s Motorcycle Tours features programming curated exclusively by women riders and for female riders and those women interested in the motorcycling lifestyle.
Fun Facts About Women’s Motorcycle Tours
- WMT currently has an online community of over 40,000 members that are actively engaged with WMT’s brand on a weekly basis.
- WMT website traffic averages 32K+ new visitors per month and 44K+ returning visitors per month.
- WMT engages 250 news outlets and 700+ industry-specific contacts every week.
- The WMT brand is recognized globally across 62 countries with 81% of them in North America.
“I started Women’s Motorcycle Tours with one tour – the Women’s Empowerment Motorcycle Tour. Ten years ago there weren’t nearly as many female riders and we were an anomaly.” said Clickenger.
“After chancing upon a couple of other women riders on the other side of the country and having a blast riding with them, I realized that I wanted to recreate the joy and connection I experienced riding with those ladies. I also wanted to serve as a mentor and empower them to go out and explore on their own motorcycle journeys. While my tour offerings have changed over the years, I’ve continued with the Teaching Tours because I love sharing my knowledge and experience in order to uplift and educate other women.
I’ve ridden all over the world by myself, but I’ve learned that the shared experiences are so much richer and rewarding – and I just want to pass that on to others so they can enjoy motorcycling as much as I have.” said Clickenger.
Women’s Motorcycle Tours is now a motorcycle experience company exclusively focused on women. WMT offers life-changing motorcycle experiences, moto mindset coaching and bespoke motorcycle tours throughout the United States and across the world. With years of event planning experience and hundreds of thousands of miles behind them, the team at Women’s Motorcycle Tours understands the power and excitement that epic journeys offer. The camaraderie and friendships that form over the course of their tours have proven to change lives, establish life-long friendships, and bring families together in a way that only riding motorcycles can.
Since 2011, WMT has been creating epic and life-changing experiences for women through motorcycle riding. Until 2019, WMT exclusively focused on motorcycle tours. In early 2020 Women’s Motorcycle Tours started to include events for women riders – the response was incredible. Now, WMT offers group and custom tours, conferences, and outdoor festivals. WMT’s events are now held online and in-person, and feature inspiring stories, educational seminars, upliftment and the opportunity for female motorcycle riders from all over the world to make meaningful connections with each other.
2021 Events & Tours
2021 Suffragists Centennial Motorcycle Ride
July 21 – August 20, 2021
2021 LIVE Women’s Motorcycle Festival & Conference
August 19-22, 2021
2021 Women’s Motorcycle Conference *ONLINE* – Theme: Education
November 5-6, 2021
About Women’s Motorcycle Tours
Women’s Motorcycle Tours (WMT) is a female-owned motorcycle experience company exclusively focused on women. WMT offers life-changing motorcycle experiences, moto mindset coaching and bespoke motorcycle tours throughout the United States and the world. With years of event planning experience and hundreds of thousands of miles behind them, the team at Women’s Motorcycle Tours understands the power and excitement that epic journeys offer. The camaraderie and friendships that form over the course of their tours have proven to change lives, establish life-long friendships, and bring families together in a way that only riding motorcycles can. www.
Indian Motorcycle Announces Indian Chief Custom Program
By Wayfarer |
Indian Motorcycle is tapping four renowned builders to customize the new 2022 Indian Chief Dark Horse. To showcase the range of the platform, each builder has a signature style that differs from the next. First, Indian Motorcycle is excited to reunite Paul Cox and Keino Sasaki, as the two haven’t teamed up for a project in nearly 15 years. Next, Indian is tapping Go Takamine to see his interpretation of a custom Chief. Lastly, Indian will see how Carey Hart will follow up his first custom Chief with this build.
Indian Motorcycle, America’s First Motorcycle Company, today announced plans for three customization projects based on its recently unveiled 2022 Indian Chief. In an effort to showcase the vast personalization possibilities inherent to the Indian Chief platform, three renowned V-twin customizers were selected to produce totally unique interpretations of the iconic motorcycle; including former Indian Larry tandem, Paul Cox and Keino Sasaki, freestyle motocross legend Carey Hart, and creator of “Bratstyle,” the popular brand and globally recognized “throwback” aesthetic for motorcycle customization and restoration, Go Takamine.
For Cox and Sasaki, this project marks the first time in nearly 15 years the duo has worked together, dating back to the early 2000’s when they disbanded after the untimely passing of legendary customizer and friend, Indian Larry.
“Keino and I have stayed in touch over the years, continuing to work in our own individual styles, but when Indian Motorcycle approached us about this collaboration, the timing seemed right. We both bring unique skills to this project, and it will be interesting to collaborate again,” said Cox. “Initially, I found the new Chief platform to be beautifully designed and thoughtfully engineered in its stock form. It’s tough and clean but possesses a modern elegance at the same time. These are all qualities that I try to combine in my own work, for a well-balanced custom.”
With its classic steel tube frame, exposed rear shocks and Thunderstroke motor, the new Indian Chief was designed with a mindset fixed on reaching back to the past, while pushing into the future. To that point, it was also by design that Indian Motorcycle selected three builders that span the spectrum of classic and modern customization styles.
“This bike is as much about history and heritage, as it is about modern design sophistication, and that’s why we were intentional in choosing builders that represented both old and new styles,” said Ola Stenegard, Director of Design for Indian Motorcycle. “With Go, we have a builder who honors and takes inspiration from the post-war bobber scene. On the other hand, Carey will push forward with modern, performance-oriented design elements, while Paul and Keino bridge the gap between past and future.”
Over the past five years, various Indian Motorcycle models have served as the canvas for Hart’s design creativity and customization skills. He recently unveiled the first-ever, custom 2022 Indian Chief – a modern club-style take on the new Chief platform – just following the bike’s debut in early February.
“With the new Chief, Indian Motorcycle has done an incredible job of capturing the strength and timeless lines of what we all have come to expect from a true American V-twin, and in doing so, they’ve served up the ultimate platform for customization,” said Hart. “I’m proud to be amongst this incredible group of builders, and I couldn’t be more excited to see what each of us comes up with.”
Well-known for his Bratstyle brand, a design aesthetic and lifestyle that has inspired followers and copycats across the globe, Takamine has focused much of his work on restoring and customizing vintage Indian Chiefs and Indian Scouts. This project will be the first time that Takamine will bring Bratstyle to a modern Indian Motorcycle.
“Indian Motorcycle has been at the heart of my work for many years, and I have great admiration for the company. It’s an honor to be included in this elite group of builders,” said Takamine. “The new Indian Chief is ideal for customization with its classic steel tube frame and air-cooled motor, and I’m excited by the possibilities of what I can do with it.”
To inspire personalization, Indian Motorcycle has curated three Authentic Accessory collections that dramatically change style, enhance comfort and increase power and performance. Each piece within the collections are sold individually and can pair with any Chief model – allowing riders to mix and match parts to fit their style and riding preference. Riders can design and build their own Chief on Indian Motorcycle’s accessory configurator.
The curated accessory collections consist of the following:
Rogue Collection
Providing a stripped-down riding experience where power and minimalism lead the way, Indian Motorcycle curated the Rogue Collection to enhance performance and deliver aggressive attitude for the Indian Chief and Indian Chief Dark Horse. With the all-new Thunderstroke Forward Stage 1 Intake, Stage 1 Slip-On Exhaust and Thunderstroke Stage 2 Performance Kit, the Rogue Collection delivers 17% more horsepower than a stock Thunderstroke 116 engine. Indian Motorcycle’s Slash Cut Exhaust Tips personalize style, while a passenger seat, backrest and pegs provide two-up riding capabilities.
Authentic Collection
With bulky tires wrapped around spoke wheels, a muscled-up front end and a solo bobber seat, the Chief Bobber and Chief Bobber Dark Horse pay stylistic homage to the classic post-war era V-twins. Riders looking to personalize their ride can outfit it with premium accessories from Indian Motorcycle’s Authentic Collection. Featuring a floating solo seat, luggage rack, Mini Ape Handlebars, and various performance accessories, this collection pays tribute to the original 1922 Indian Chief.
Tour Collection
Featuring soft saddlebags and a windshield, the Super Chief and Super Chief Limited begs riders for longer miles and an even bolder escape. For those looking to take the capable day tripper to the next level, Indian Motorcycle assembled its Tour Collection. Heated grips, a passenger backrest, highway bar lower closeouts and highway pegs take the Super Chief’s comfort to an entirely new level for both the rider and passenger going the extra mile.
Shipping to dealers now, the 2022 Indian Chief lineup offers three distinct models with two trim levels. Powering all premium Chief models, including the Chief Dark Horse, Chief Bobber Dark Horse and Super Chief Limited, is Indian Motorcycle’s Thunderstroke 116 engine with 120 ft-lbs of torque. ABS is standard, while premium finishes set these bikes apart and further showcase the craftsmanship and attention to detail. The Chief Dark Horse and Chief Bobber Dark Horse each pack further attitude with premium gloss black finishes, while the Super Chief Limited touts premium chrome finishes. All are equipped with Indian Motorcycle’s industry-first 4 inch touchscreen powered by Ride Command which offers turn-by-turn navigation, Bluetooth® pairing for access to mobile phone information, as well as bike and ride information.
The Indian Chief, Chief Bobber and Super Chief are each powered by Indian Motorcycle’s Thunderstroke 111 powertrain with 108 ft-lbs of torque. Each model features an analog gauge, chrome and matte black finishes, and is available with or without ABS.
Riders can learn more about the Chief Customs program on the Indian Motorcycle Customs Garage webpage. Additionally, riders can learn more about the Indian Chief at their local Indian Motorcycle dealership, by visiting IndianMotorcycle.com, or by following along on Facebook®, Twitter® and Instagram®.
Combat Motors Unveils Limited–Production of Next-Generation Wraith Motorcycle
By Wayfarer |
Combat Motors has begun production of an all new S&S X-Wedge 132 cubic inch (2,163 cc) powered Wraith with the first delivery expected in early June 2021.
Combat Motors, American ingenuity meets uncompromising performance and detail. Manufacturer and developer of the F-113 and F-131 Hellcat, the B-120 Wraith, the P-120 / R-131 Fighter, the X-132 Hellcat, the Hellcat Speedster, the P-51 Combat Fighter, the FA-13 Combat Bomber and the F-117 Fighter, Combat Motors announces it’s all new Flagship model; the all new 2021 Combat Wraith.
Like the original Wraith which debuted in 2008, pushing the limits of American motorcycle manufacturing technology was the only place to start for such an example of raw art-in-motion. Inspired by the purist’s desire to not only stand-out but to be liberated to forge one’s own path in a world full of followers.
This second-generation Combat Wraith rides on the tried & true CX4 architecture with a brute force, 2.2 Liter big-block V-twin engine by S&S Cycle. The engine is an integral part of the bike’s construction acting as a stressed member, unifying and transferring as much unadulterated power to the ground as possible through the BST carbon fiber wheels to the Pirelli tread.
The iconically shaped structural fuel tank is CNC 5-Axis machined from aircraft-grade 6061 aluminum. Utilizing this style of machining allowed Combat to increase the bike’s fuel capacity to 4.5 gallons and provide the longest ride possible between refueling.
Combat Motors has reinstated the monocoque structure that was originally developed for the company’s P-51 Combat Fighter, while increasing airflow and efficiency through the redesigned structural air-box. Visibility of the twin-plate throttle-body is still made possible through a restyled oval glass just ahead of the fuel cap making it a crowning detail to the reimagined design of the original Wraith. This, along with the widely recognized visible cam timing cover and fuel tank windows, give the owner and any fortunate spectator full view of as many of the internal workings of this motorcycle.
“Combat Motors’ success and the new Wraith would not be possible without the concerted efforts our team; Jay and Jennifer Etheridge, Jason Reddick, Landers Sevier, Andrew Reuther and Frae “G” Wittwer.” — Ernest Lee
Combat Motors, continuing in the spirit of its former nomenclature, offers yet another industry first to the market. The new Combat Wraith will be built with interlinked forward and rear foot controls, offering its pilot the best of both worlds for quick trips across town or long rides up the coast.
Each new motorcycle produced by the company will also soon be constructed in the Birmingham, Alabama facility via live, high-definition streaming video. Once the primary components are staged and ready, each client will have the the opportunity to watch the step-by-step process of their own creation being constructed. One motorcycle at a time, Combat’s experienced master builder, Jason Reddick, will hand-assemble each motorcycle in full view of its future owner. A time lapse video showcasing the birth of the new motorcycle will then become part of the delivery package, giving each new owner an unparalleled ownership experience.
The girder front suspension bears a nod to the past as well, as the LED light blade carbon housing resembles the arched signature appearance of the original Wraith. Adding function to this iconic form, solid carbon fiber panels guide air directly into the triangular air intake portals. Thoughtful integration and styling elevate the original 5-axis CNC machined aircraft grade 6061 aluminum girders from the P-51 Combat Fighter to the Wraith’s elegant carbon fiber detailing.
No more than Twenty-one (21) Wraiths will be built in either raw machined aluminum or as a Knight Wraith with black anodized finish.
The first new Knight Wraith is currently being built for Ernest Lee, owner of Combat Motors, who plans to ride the new motorcycle on a cross-country trip following Interstate 10 from Jacksonville, Florida to Malibu, California. Current owners of the company’s motorcycles are invited to ride either the entire length of the trip or individual legs with Ernest as he brings the next generation Combat Wraith west for its official debut later this year.
Specifications
Engine: 132 cubic inch (2,163cc) S&S X-Wedge 56-degree air / oil cooled V-twin four stroke. with one-piece forged crankshaft, two valves per cylinder, toothed belt camshaft drive, and machined 6061 aluminum billet crankcase (also available with a 117 cubic inch engine)
Transmission: 5-speed proprietary stacked gearbox with Andrews gears and hydraulically operated dry clutch by Bandit Machine Works
Fuel/Ignition System: Closed-loop Delphi electronic fuel injection and engine management system and 2 x 51mm S&S throttle body
Power: 108 bhp at 5,000 rpm
Torque: 144 ft-lb at 4,800 rpm
Chassis: Machined aluminum monocoque, massive 7 inch (177.8 mm) curved Wraith backbone containing fuel load
Foot Controls: Proprietary interlinked shifting mechanism and Beringer rear and forward position interlinked rear braking system
Front Brakes: Quad Disk 4D Piston 2 x 230 mm Beringer floating Aeronal cast iron discs with four-piston Beringer radially-mounted Aerotec calipers
Rear Brakes: 1 x 240 mm cross-drilled Aeronal stainless steel disc with two-piston Beringer caliper
Top Speed: Over 160mph
Front Suspension: 27 degree rake, 4 inch (101.6 mm) trail, Double-wishbone parallelogram CNC 6061 aluminum fork with tubular aluminum struts and direct-action, Racetech mono-shock fully-adjustable for high and low speed compression and rebound damping, and offering 4.35 inch (110.5 mm) wheel travel
Rear Suspension: CNC Aluminum swing-arm with cantilever Racetech mono-shock rear suspension, offering fully adjustable two-speed compression and rebound damping, and 5.50 inch (140 mm) wheel travel
Wheels: 19 inch BST carbon front wheel, 17 inch BST carbon disc rear wheel
Tires: Pirelli Diablo Rosso III 120/70ZR19 front, 240/45ZR17 rear
Dimensions: 62.5 in. wheelbase, 29.5 in. seat height, 560 lb (wet)
Oil Capacity: 5.28 Quarts (5 Liters)
Fuel Capacity: 4.5 US gallons (17 Liters)
Price: Raw Machined $155,000 USD MSRP (anodized black Knight Wraith $165,000 USD)
About Combat Motorcycles:
Continuing a 30-year tradition of designing and crafting America’s most iconic, heirloom quality motorcycles, Combat Motors aims to represent the motoring purist. Combat Motors currently manufactures the F-117 Fighter, P-51 Combat Fighter, the FA-13 Combat Bomber and the all new Combat Wraith by hand in its facility in Birmingham, Alabama.
For more information, please visit www.combatmotors.com.
Pirelli Riders Crush Carolina Motorsports Park Track Record
By Wayfarer |
Stefano Mesa’s NINJA ZX-6R relies on the performance of Pirelli’s New 190/60-17 DIABLO™ Superbike Rear Tire
ROME, Ga. (April 13, 2021) – It was a weekend meant for crushing absolute motorcycle track records in Kershaw, South Carolina as Stefano Mesa and Jason Waters traded turns setting the pace at Carolina Motorsports Park (CMP). The duo relied on the performance of their Pirelli DIABLO™ Superbike slicks to set the pace in the Championship Cup Series. In the end, it was Mesa who ended the weekend at the time of the lap time sheet and gave Pirelli Tire North America the brand’s third absolute motorcycle track record of the 2021 season.
“Jason [Waters] and I were pushing the pace hard all weekend,” said Mesa. “It was pretty cool to see us on two different sized motorcycles and going back and forth with one another on lap times. This one is special for me in being able to set a new track record while riding my 600. The new 190/60 tires that Pirelli recently introduced worked phenomenal all weekend long for me. I’d like to give a special shout out to Oscar [Solis] at Pirelli for the technical help and working with me to find the comfort needed to get the job done.”
The record, which was set three times throughout the weekend, was first set by road racing newcomer Waters who recorded a 1:30.776 on his BMW S1000RR on Saturday. Mesa, competing aboard a Kawasaki Ninja ZX-6R, upped the pace in the Unlimited GP class on Sunday with a 1:30.585 and later that day he would return to go faster once again with a 1:30.564 in the Unlimited Superbike class. Mesa’s Kawasaki was equipped with a 120/70-17 DIABLO™ Superbike SC1 front tire and a DIABLO™ Superbike SC0 in the recently introduced 190/60-17 sizing on the rear.
“The riders managed to set an incredible pace this weekend,” said Mike Faillace, Metric Devil Moto, Pirelli Trackside Vendor. “The new 190/60 DIABLO™ Superbike was the star of the weekend. The new size was just released and it’s already helping riders go faster than they have before, which includes Stefano [Mesa]. Congratulations and a job well done to him!”
Mesa became the third different rider to earn an absolute motorcycle track record while competing on Pirelli tires in 2021. Pirelli remains dedicated to the grassroots part of the smart and continues to offer reward prizes to riders who set a new motorcycle track record while using Pirelli race compound tires.
For more information about the complete line of Pirelli motorcycle tires, please visit Pirelli.com
SCOTT JACOBS STURGIS FLASH SALE
By Bandit |
A Sturgis-Influenced Flash Sale
Scott’s 2016 Sturgis Rally painting is THE feature this week!
“I wanted to change up the look of my annual event paintings. I thought a more artistic style would still exude how relaxing and freeing a motorcycle ride can be” shared Scott.
Thank you for taking the time to read and support us!
The Jacobs Family
PS. If you know you’re adding this to your art collection, click the image to be taken to our website or call the gallery with assistance ordering a frame as well. 605 559 1876
Sam’s Pick of the Week for 12-Apr-2021
By Wayfarer |
New Report by JJ Solari
Editors Note by Keith Ball: I can’t explain it. Generally, we publish Sam’s Picks of the Week with a report about my evil past, or with notions of biker romance and the metalflake experience. But J.J.’s recent findings far outweigh the last time I met a redhead in a bar. However, as you go through your day hanging with brothers, buying motorcycle parts or riding in the wind, you will notice that all seems sorta normal. That’s because you are a biker and completely immune. Riding free works!
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SAM’S PICK OF THE WEEK and C-19 Update
By J. J. Solari |
Editors Note: I can’t explain it. Generally, we publish Sam’s Picks of the Week with a report about my evil past, or with notions of biker romance and the metalflake experience. But J.J.’s recent findings far outweigh the last time I met a redhead in a bar. However, as you go through your day hanging with brothers, buying motorcycle parts or riding in the wind, you will notice that all seems sorta normal. That’s because you are a biker and completely immune. Riding free works!
The Corona-19 virus is reported to have mutated to radioactive status according to sources reporting allegements relative to information regarded by regarders as accurate. Sores, blisters and pustules are being found on front line workers who have died at their posts and who have succumbed to their lesions even as they were heroically treating the heaps of crawling and in some cases being dragged by ropes, new cases.
Hallways and corridors of health centers, now being called ill-health centers, are strewn with enough of the dead that new corridors and hallways must be constructed since the bodies are emitting so much radiation that Geiger counters are exploding from the vibrations created by the cacophony of ticks and clicks.
Reports of bodies falling from the skies have been reported, according to reported sources who have filed reports. The bodies, which burst upon impact with the ground, releasing scurrying arachnid-like jelly-covered “slime spiders” as they are reportedly being called by witnesses who have witnessed them and who have since died simply by having witnessed them rendering interviews of the witnesses impossible.
Those who have not died even after witnessing the slime-spiders have transformed, screaming all the while, into large, completely visible C-19 viruses which are reported to be the size of the VWs of the ‘50s. The spikes on these enormous viruses detonate like harbor-mines upon contact with human flesh releasing a stench-filled ichor that dissolves all it touches.
Other reports from reports issued by sources known to be close to or at least marginally related to those originally reporting under conditions of anonymity or otherwise informed under conditions of extended anonymity pending verification, have reported that C-19 ichor puddles are unifying and coagulating into warehouse-size undulating gelatinous, forward-advancing anomalies being routinely referred to as The Blobs.
Ladders are being commandeered by human defenders and are being leaned against buildings for
purposes of roof access. No one knows why. Highways are being covered with deceased C-19 victims being pushed up from the ground. They are bursting upward faster than snowplows can ram them to the sides, where “drifts” of bodies ten feet high or more are being created according to alleged reports currently being investigated by investigators of reported reports.
Body-counts of the deceased as determined by Count Experts are reported to have exceeded the human population of Earth by 400% and climbing. C-19 cases are now in the International Space Station and are threatening the rest of the solar system and the galaxy beyond to where the night sky is now empty of stars.
Worst of all, David Muir of ABC News has been reported to have become unable to assume his “ready for action” posture at his news desk wherein he sits straight up with a bit of a forward lean while his palms rest upon the desktop and upon pieces of paper with his elbows a bit angled as though he is prepared to spring to his feet at any second and personally solve the problem.
He is at the moment reporting on to where, now, he, weakened by C-19, he is held under the arms by two assistants, allowing him to gamely and with gravelly voice recite the tragedies and injustices of the day while being fed intravenously. Indeed, this transmogrification of David Muir from lean, alert, Bryl-Creamed boy-wonder into an aged, wizened, exhausted baggy-suited specter is widely considered to be the, to-date, worst resultant aspect of the pandemic so far ever unanimously-agreed-upon catastrophe of the 14-month, so far global and cosmological pandemic to date reported according to sources close to other sources familiar with the contacted contacts for verification.
Breaking: All spherical celestial objects, from rocks, up to and including the sun, moon, stars and asteroids have been determined according to experts to be C-19 viruses. The electronic letters on the screen you are reading, in addition, according to sources, are photon-spheres of C-19 penetrating your eyes and infecting your optic nerve cells and turning you into an entity called Zag-hothnar-Iglakto Palchon Ignar, demon overlord of the Kraal dung-people of the planet Gargh.
There is reportedly a vaccine currently being produced which offers 30% effectiveness against this and other versions of the C-19 Gargh-variant mutational offspring transformatative deviant hybrid anomalous divergence which will be mandatory for all food purchases.
Thank you. Sincerely, The World Press-Hack Communal Shitpack of Loser Journalism Majors Currently Being Relieved of Their School-Loan Responsibilities.
–J.J. Solari
Chief Research Investigator
Bikernet Medical Research Center