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New Bandit’s Cantina Episode 103

by K.Randall Ball with images by George Fleming

Bandit woke the next morning with a start. Emotionally beat-up he struggled with depressing thoughts of the future. He couldn’t figure how society could be living in the best of times, yet some folks were making it the worst.

He showered and scrambled down stairs. The crew made their way quietly around the Cantina as if in a thoughtful daze.

“I’m working on some info for the pamphlet,” Margaret said and studied Bandit’s features. He wasn’t the type of guy to give up or even step back from a fight.

Bandit looked up and smiled. “We’re going to do something or die trying.”

Read the epic series of 103 episodes only on Bikernet.com by clicking here.

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Join the Cantina, get cool free gifts, click here.

Excerpts of Travelogue, Riding in the USA

Graeme explores the States as changing roads and places bring new adventures in differing weather, and happy company.

Text and Photos by Graeme Lowen

After last night’s fiasco trying to find camera and getting back to the motel, I did some more work with google and found a Walmart only 10 miles or so away that sells cameras.

The stop at the gas station and its method of pre-pay was quite a novel experience. I was instructed by the young female assistant to put the cash into the machine , as much as I needed, hit enter and out came a receipt for the amount as well as a code number. I went out and filled the bike up and went back to get my change.

Read this wonderful “view” of USA from a tourist’s perspective – only at Bikernet.com

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READ MORE TRAVELOGUES ON BIKERNET.COM — have a look at:
https://www.bikernet.com/pages/travel_stories.aspx

Changing weather in representing global warming

from SubStack of Ujjwal Dey, images by Ujjwal Dey

Symbols can represent personal as well as social change. It can even be revolutionary or represent a sanctuary, a place of safety or refuge.

Symbolic expressions? What’s the easiest symbol to make yourself approachable and friendly? Yup, just smile!

Symbols and its perspectives will change over a period of years, cultures and geographies. Sometimes, they represent an idea and at other times they are magical ‘sigil’. How have symbols represented environment, ecology and climate change?

Read this pictorial editorial on Bikernet.com

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Get into Bandit’s Cantina and get exclusive content, free swag and a deal of a lifetime, click & go.

Get 35% off Site wide discount this Labor Day

at Nash Motorcycle Co

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Tell ’em Bikernet.com sent ya !

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September 9th to 10th

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Continued From Page 3

NOS SPECIAL–Do you want more horsepower cheap? If you do, then this months Internet special is right up your alley. We are offering the NOS four cylinder wet nitrous kits P/N 3-03008NOS for just $649.00. That’s more than 10% off our already low racer price. These kits come complete with everything you need to add big horsepower to your bike. As a matter of fact I?ll give you 10% off our racer pricing on all NOS products! To check it out go to our specials page at: http://www.mpsracing.com/Pages/specials.htm

Get the new MPS CO2 System 7 P/N 1-0333 for a mere $149.00 this month! The MPS CO2 System 7 converts your old low-pressure air shifter system into a regulated high-pressure system capable of hundreds of shifts from a smaller bottle. The 7-ounce bottle is only 10.75-inch long and 2.0 inches in diameter. The CO2 System 7 kit comes with a 7-ounce bottle with pin valve P/N 1-0325 and a Regulator assembly for paintball bottles P/N 1-0329. The bottles can be filled at any paintball refill center. Check them out at: http://www.mpsracing.com/products/MPS/as073.asp

Remember, you must mention the Internet special and Bikernet to get this deal. You will get the regular price if you don?t! This sale is good for the month of September, 2003.

We have had a great response to our new “Make It Fast” T-shirts and hats.If you haven’t already seen them they are at:http://www.mpsracing.com/products/MPS/shirts.asp

–Dan Rudd
www.mpsracing.com

HELL RAISER’S MINI CHOPPERS– “In December of 2002, John, Rene, and Bob from RGS got together to make mini choppers that ran good and looked good. These creations were named HellRaisers.

Designed by master fabricators RGS Enterprises, these choppers look great and are built with the same care and quality that RGS Enterprises has produced for over 30 years! With function and mid range pricing in mind, we exceeded our own standards during the build and prototype phase. HellRaiser Mini Choppers took over half a year to design to perfection. With an in-house manufacturing plant that includes benders, welders, and engineers, HellRaiser Mini Choppers are built to last!

They reach a top speed of 50 mph and can be hazardous to your health.

HellRaisers are built to order in South El Monte, CA. Please check our website for colors and options!”

–Rene

BIKERNET CANTINA WEAPONS CONNTECTION–If you’re a member of Bandit’s Cantina you may enjoy the Cantina Soap opera. It’s a kick from sexual antics to shoot-outs. In the most recent segment, Bandit is called into action and sports his favorite automatic weapon. Here’s a link to a site about this H&K:http://remtek.com/arms/hk/mil/mp5k/mp5k.htm.

Join the Cantina for all the inside action.

DAVIE ALLEN, KING OF BIKER ROCK, REVIEWED–There’s a great review of the our new album if you think you might want to use some of it by Keith “MuzikMan” Hannaleck on my website.

–DA

THAT’S IT–We’re way behind schedule (it’s almost 2:00 p.m.), and we’ve ran as fast as our Jack Daniels legs will carry us. I’m gonna take a break then post Falco’s event and the Sportster History item. Watch for ’em.

If you live in SoCal don’t miss the Beach Ride. Let me know if you’re going to the Calif. MotorSpeedWay for the Monster Garage bit. No matter what you do this weekend, have a helluva good time.

Oh, don’t forget to fight the EPA. They could kick our asses, if we don’t watch out.

Ride Forever,
–Bandit

U.S. Environmental Protection Agency certified a new Royal Enfield model branded as Shotgun 650 for year 2024. This confirms the production version of the SG650 bobber concept will be coming to America.

Royal Enfield presented the SG650 Twin concept at EICMA way back in 2021. Based on the platform that brought us the Continental GT and Interceptor 650, this concept motorcycle combined retro styling with a future-forward silver and blue livery.

Since that unveiling, Royal Enfield introduced the more classically-styled Super Meteor 650 which used a similar chassis. Development of the bobber version will continue and give us a new model to be called ‘Shotgun 650’.

SG650 concept is a single seat, with mid footpeg placement, handlebars positioned lower and further forward compared to the Super Meteor.The production model may look similar to the concept bike. Its headlight cowl incorporates Royal Enfield’s familiar combination of a round instrument cluster and smaller Tripper navigation display.

It is expected that Royal Enfield will officially debut the production version of Shotgun 650 at EICMA, where it first showed off the concept version.

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Follow Bikernet Free Weekly Newsletter to get latest Motorcycling news, updates, reviews, tech, tips, events & lot of fun. Click here & take a test ride.

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What a great opportunity to jump on for this weekend! Find the parts you’ve been needing and give us a call on Monday or Tuesday! Bossman wanted to make sure the sale lasts through the end of the day on Tuesday.

Dear Reader; What follows is something from the “FAITH-BASED BIKERNET PERSONAL BETTERMENT FILES” long since thought destroyed but apparently those orders were not followed. We are not enemies of spiritual betterment and personal improvement here, our chapel-like environs are welcoming of all pilgrims and travelers along the road of brotherhood and good will. Hence……..this thing.

1: I am one of those Christian motherfuckers. If I’m anything at all, that would be the word to use. The “Christian” word. Not the “motherfucker” word. Oh, ok, what the fuck: use both of ‘em.

2: I don’t just BELIEVE the Bible, I can see very very clearly that it’s an accurate record of actual events by actual people and also non-people from I GUESS other dimensions. Ya know, angels and shit. Which is why I mock “broadcast-atheists.” As often as possible. Ya know, the people who are not quietly atheists and just living their fucking lives, I mean, why would they care if someone else has a fucking deity? No, it’s the atheists who have to broadcast their “gift of reason.” They couldn’t reason their way down of a supermarket aisle. And they’re ALL little snotty shits, by the way. It’s not as though they actually brawl with anyone to defend their shitty little strutting arrogance. Not that anyone actually takes a swing at the little fuckers. Which is a mistake.

3: I easily grant the deity who claims to be the ONLY deity in existence – named I AM – I totally am willing to grant him or her or it sovereign rule over his or her or its own creation. Which is apparently everything.

4: HOWEVER….I have a REAL FUCKING PROBLEM with this “Vengeance is mine” thing that he keeps saying: this fucking Declaration Of Property Ownership that God says belongs to him and him alone. But, hey – He created truth. He didn’t create lies. Other entities came up with those. So in other words, God says vengeance is his private property?….it must be true. But – just so you know, in case you were wondering – I am NOT happy about it. I routinely ask God “Well, ok, vengeance is yours, but I was wondering if I could borrow it for a day or two? I have some real mother fucking assholes that need straightening out: permanently. PLUS….I don’t want any hassles from the authorities. And if you don’t know what the authorities are, just ask Jesus. He’ll give you an earful on THAT topic.”

So far I have not gotten an answer one way or the other. And that’s a bit aggravating. They say we all have a cross to bear? This is mine: God declaring to having a monopoly on vengeance. It just freezes me AND my nuts in a kind of paralysis from time to time, like, I’m itching to move toward the target that needs removing but I’m nailed to the floor.

Now if I just BELIEVED God exists rather than KNOW God exists, what the fuck, I would be doing vengeance routinely and chalking it up to, “Well, ya know, I’m just a poor sinner and I succumbed to weakness, Please forgive me, Lord.” That kinda thing. But I don’t BELIEVE God’s existence, I’m CONVINCED of it.

As for you? I don’t give a fuck what you believe or are convinced of. It’s your business. Not mine. Anyway, it’s not a belief-system with me. It’s a “Yeah, ok, I get it,” system. I seen the fucking historical record that he exists. Now the same people who say the Biblical record is fiction….will believe Columbus sailed a boat two feet long across a 3-4 thousand mile uncharted oceanic voyage no one had ever done before. They’ll believe that.

Based on the historical record. But not the Bible. Which is a historical record. Atheists are pretty fucking flighty about what histories they are going to believe and what ones they’re going to shitcan. They apparently have some innate fucking History Validator that tells them what histories are accurate and what histories are not. They’re like the people who say “global greenhouse science is science” and “covid science is science,” but that the biological science of “two sexes” is NOT science. They’re screaming little disgusting insects that need to be crushed underfoot by a thousand ton mastodon on meth in other words. You can SEE I have fucking anger issues.

Getting back to this vengeance thing: while I have yet to get the go-ahead on borrowing some of God’s vengeance, I ROUTINELY go over to the perennially empty vast, and I do mean vast, Santa Anita Race Track parking lot grounds and environs and make out-loud, sky-facing inquiries about if-and-when God is going to take some of that fucking vengeance he claims to be in charge of and getting off his water-into-wine-drinking ass and start taking care of business…..and then I list the targets of day.

Now you might say “Well, that’s pretty brazen. Seems a bit risky, tempting the Lord. He himself claims that’s a bad idea.” Well before you go into Admonition Mode let me calm you down just a bit. For one thing I’m not “tempting the Lord.” I’m in a fucking meeting with the Lord. It’s basically a sit-down. In a sit-down you state your fucking case. It ain’t a slugfest. It’s a decision-making prelude. You make decisions REGARDING violence. You don’t DO the violence at the sit-down. So that’s what this is. Me and God are having a talk about fucking some people up.

God says he’s the only one authorized to do the fucking. But nothing in the rules says a petitioner can’t come in and say he has a problem that needs some vengeful attention. He says vengeance is His and I’m not contradicting the Sumbitch. I’m not doing that. I’m saying that I’m good with that. I’m not REALLY good with it, but, ya know, I’m trying to be fucking civil with the proclaimed Deity who spent 6,000 fucking years of human history proving he is the Deity with no OTHER deities showing up and saying “This deity has his head up his ass. He ain’t the deity: I’m the fucking deity.” So far that ain’t happened.

What I AM saying to the Deity is “There’s this really heinous clusterfuck going on over here or over there or behind this dumpster that You REALLY need to take a good look at because I know there’s probly a LOTTA shit going on you PROBABLY don’t like but I DON’T THINK You’ve noticed this little shitpile over here that I know if EYE was You, that little shitpile over here would be melted slag right now.” That’s what I say out loud, up to the sky, in the center of the vast sea of asphalt of the Santa Anita Race Track parking lot that has only me in it and the occasional crow flying over.

What this DOES is it calms me down. I’ve said my little piece to the Vengeance-Keeper-Proprietor Anomaly, and since I am convinced he actually does fucking exist, I know I’ve been ‘heard.’ This ain’t fucking “faith.” This is fucking “Oh: whoa; you really exist. Ok. Well fuck me running, here’s the deal….” Then comes the complaint. I know it’s being noticed. That’s different from whatever in the fuck BELIEF is. I BELIEVE I’m gonna fuck Paris Hilton at some point before she gets into the hag zone. I actually believe this. The ODDS are it won’t happen. But I figure fuck the odds. And we know how THAT attitude always plays out.

I should tell you, God has yet to take action on even ONE of my suggestions-for-removal-by-preferably-nuclear-means applications. Does this piss me off? A little. But I don’t go into Rebellion Mode. The last time I heard about that happening it resulted in me being born into a world filled with fucking shitheads. IN FACT God didn’t stop with the Vengeance Mode in Eden: God’s vengeance-circuits ROUTINELY kicked-in even after the Eden shitshow.

Just ONE example, some guy named Onan was ORDERED BY GOD, the creator of cocks and pussies, to use his cock to fuck someone’s pussy. That’s right, he told a guy to fuck a broad. None o’ this gay shit, this “dick-into-Bob’s-Anus” shit, he told Onan to fuck Brenda or Marge or someone and Onan thought he would be clever and yeah he fucked her but then he jizzed his “seed” onto her tits or her face or some damn place because he didn’t want her getting pregnant.

But God DID want her pregnant. Jizz is “seed” in Bible talk. Why anyone thinks the fucking bible is boring I don’t know. Anyway, when God tells you to fuck someone you should PROBABLY not assume it’s for a porno flick where the viewer wants to see the actual jizz. You should send that jizz up the designated repopulation siphon and not try to get cute. When God tells you to fuck someone either clarify the details with him beforehand so there’s no miscommunications or else just assume he means “fuck,” that is, squirt your jizz up her pussy and don’t revise and edit the original assignment.

Now there’s likely some “believers” who are saying, “Well, I don’t think when you are suggesting God should kill someone… I don’t think you can say that’s not “tempting the Lord.” Well actually I can say that. Jesus – who according to the historical record says he’s the human duplicate of the Bible Deity – Jesus says “Don’t be afraid to ask God anything.” And then, in typical Jesus ingenious detail he said “If you go to the Place of Petitioning and you ask the Petitions Magistrate for what you think is justice, does he throw a pile of writhing poisonous snakes at you?….even though personally he is very likely a piece of shit – that I love for some reason – but he’s a personal piece of shit same as you? Who I also love? For some reason? So why do you think He Who Has No Sin And Is Totally Fair – unlike yourself – …..is going to fuck you up for making a request? Tell God what you want. Worst that can happen is NOTHING or you get a “No.” Who knows, you might get a ‘Ok, whatdafuck.’ You WON’T get snakes.”

So that’s where I’m coming from when I’m in the Santa Anita Race Track parking lot yelling up at the clouds, “Are you paying attention to what (and then the name goes here: USUALLY a fucking bureaucrat) is doing NOW? How long you gonna let this fuckhead motherfucker remain intact and in operation? Where’s that vengeance hammer you claim to have a lock on? Did you lose the fucking key? SMASH this cocksucker! Ok, Mister ‘Slow To Anger’ I get it: you’re ‘slow to anger.’ Ok. Whatever. But really: this is drifting into Rip Van Winkle level of Slow. You’ve heard of Bennies, right? Do you drink coffee at all? Are you just TIRED???? Is this still part of the ‘on the 7th day you rested’ thing going on here?”

So far this hasn’t worked. But I’m AS YET not covered in snakes. And I always leave the parking lot a lot calmer. Well, noticeably calmer. To some extent. Maybe you’ll have better luck. For one thing maybe don’t hack your nuts when you’re going through this tirade. That’s usually what I’m doing. Maybe that’s, I dunno, a decorum violation. I don’t fucking know! Ok? Whatever, I don’t have no snakes on me. So far. Good luck!

Lemmee know if it works out. Maybe you can gimmee a heads-up on your approach.

_J.J. Solari