BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEW TRANSMISSION SEAL, ER STORES CHANGE NAMES, KNUCKLEHEAD PART AVAILABLE AND MORE

Rare, hand made Hackasaw footpeg.

Laughlin survived another year. I dodged it primarily due to the high price to stay there. A recent report indicated that if you strolled into the desert the week before the rooms were $19 a night. During the River Run weekend rooms started at $175 a night. Does that make sense to you. The weekend the hotels are packed, the parking lot spaces are sold to vendors, the gambling is at an all time high, souveniers are sold by the bushels and the restaurants are over flowing, they charge more and more for the rooms. Bullshit.

I don’t have a problem with anyone making a living, but this goes way beyond that. We’ll have a couple of reports on the Laughlin downturn next week from Frank Kaisler and the Digital Gangster. Our web master has been missing in action since Thursday of last week. I’ll jump off the soap box and get to the news:

NEW EXHAUST SYSTEMS FOR EVO, TWIN CAMS AND SPORTSTERS–10 different designs will be available from Cyril Huze. See them installed at:http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10042

Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles & Parts
http://www.cyrilhuze.com
http://store.cyrilhuze.com
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923

CHARLESTON HERITAGE MOTORCYCLE RALLY–The first annual Heritage Motorcycle Rally in Charleston South Carolina roared into the Ladson Fairgrounds April 16th and lasted through April 20th, 2003. A great time was had by most and prices and lodging were cheap.

Most vendors were located at the fairgrounds however others setup at various other venues and watering holes.

Lowcountry ABATE provided camping at a rate of $10 per night and provided live entertainment at Minky’s Social Club one Mile from the Campground. The Campground provided by Lowcountry ABATE was within 10 miles of the Rally Central at the fairgrounds.

Lowcountry ABATE’s Booth at the fairgrounds provided information to those curious about ABATE and Motorcycle Rights. Uncle Rock of Cycle Source Magazine and the SOLR paid Charleston a visit during this new rally. Look for an upcoming issue with Heritage Motorcycle Rally coverage and pictures soon.

This rally was fatality free. Police from as far away as Daytona Beach came to the event to enjoy the fun and crowds. Most tickets written during the rally went to dangerous cagers who were speeding or otherwise endangering others. If you missed this years rally be sure to come visit Charleston during next year’s Heritage Motorcycle Rally.

During Lowcountry ABATE’s Night Run we we paid a visit by our state and local public servants; I sure hope the local citizens don’t mind all the tax money spent to make sure we were save and sound. Apparently one of the SLED agents at the scene was curious about the injustice just up the coast as he took a copy of the SOLR Blood on the Badge flyer with him; he later declined a matching decal.

During the start of the Night Run one half of the Ladson Tackle Box’s parking lot was filled with at least 18 police cars all in an effort to inform the owner to close at 2:00 AM.

–FastFred

–from Rogue

LAWYER FIGHTS TO CALL TO TESTIFY AGAINST CLIENT–By David Damron | Sentinel Staff Writer. In a unusual legal move, Orange-Osceola State Attorney Lawson Lamar’soffice is asking a judge to make a public defender testify against hisclient.

The legal maneuver — Lamar’s firstsuch, by his own account — hasenraged local defense attorneys, who argue that compelling such testimonycould undermine the faith clients put in their ability to talk freely to anattorney.

“I will become dysfunctional as a lawyer,” said Gavin Elliot, the27-year-old assistant public defender at the center of the dispute. “And I’mnot willing to risk my client’s rights. I can’t fold on this.”

Prosecutors want to prove Elliot’s client, Tim E. Whittington, was justoutside a courtroom Dec. 4 where he was scheduled for a hearing. They allegethat Whittington left the courthouse after he learned he would be arrestedif he attended the hearing.

Assistant State Attorney Jim Altman asked Circuit Judge Frederick Lautento make Elliot testify that his client was outside the courtroom that day,which would prove Whittington intentionally missed a hearing, a separatefelony.

–from Rogue

THE IRISH BIKER–A drunk biker is riding through the city and his bike is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over. The cop says to the biker, “Where have you been?”

“I’ve been to the pub,” slurs the biker.

“Well,” says the cop, “It looks like you’ve had quite a few.”

“I did all right,” the biker says with a smile.

“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell off the bike?”

“Oh, thank heavens” sighs the biker. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”

–from Chris T.

MELBOURNE VETERAN’S REUNION– Frank Alverson makes it a point every year to come to the Vietnam veterans’ reunion to chat with old friends but also to pay homage to those whose names are on the replica of the Vietnam wall memorial.

The wall, a smaller version of the Vietnam memorial in Washington, D.C., inspires him to think mostly about old war glories and friends who have died.

“It was great, very exciting — until I got shot down,” said the 61-year-old Malabar man, a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. “Bullets came in from the bottom. If it hadn’t been for my crew, I would’ve bled to death.”

Alverson and his men were looking for a downed Air Force pilot. After the helicopter went down, he and his crew evaded a Viet Cong ambush and got away.

Alverson is one of thousands of visitors expected to see the wall until it is packed up again at the end of the week.

“I have a lot of friends on that wall,” he said. “I have one that goes back to the ninth grade. My best friends from flight school are on the wall. It’s a good way to remember them.”

–from Rogue

FLATHEAD POWER LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD DEALERS–If you need rare Knucklehead, flathead or Indian Twin engine parts, this may be your source.

They are located in Sweden but want to do business with dealers in the US. Touch on the banner and check them out.

BIKERNET BIKE HEAVEN–Recently killed by separate left-turning cages, Trog, Grody, and Animal were waiting for entrance into Heaven. St. Peter walked up to Trog and asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife, and remember, I will know the truth.”

Trog thought for a moment and replied, “Well, sir, it must be around 40 times.”

“Fine,” said St. Peter, “you may enter Heaven but you will be riding that little green Suzuki over there.”

St. Peter approached Grody and asked the same question. Grody answered, “Sir, I do believe it couldn’t have been more than 20 times.

“Good,” said St. Peter, “you may enter Heaven, also, and you will be riding the red 600 Kawasaki.

St. Peter stepped up to Animal and repeated the question. Without pause, Animal answered, “Never!”

St. Peter peered at him quizzically and said, “Never?”

“I have never been unfaithful to my wife, sir” he replied.

“Excellent,” stated St. Peter. “You may enter Heaven and you will be riding that gold-chromed custom Road King over there.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Animal approaches the bike, but when he reaches the exquisite showpiece, he suddenly lays his head on the tank and begins to cry. St. Peter rushes over and asks, “What’s the matter?

You have never cheated on you wife, you’ve gained entrance into Heaven, and you will be riding the bike of your dreams, with no breakdowns, for the rest of eternity.”

Animal replied between sobs, “See that woman over there on the old beat-up Vespa? That’s my wife!”

–from Chris T.

EASYRIDERS STORES ARE UNDER NEW NAMES– “Easyriders of Dallas” will soon be “Rick Fairless – Strokers Dallas”. Effective July 1, 2003, Easyriders Dallas is officially changing its name to “Rick Fairless” – STROKERS DALLAS. The name change is due to Easyriders Corporate making the decision to discontinue the store program.

When the decision was made by Easyriders Corporate, Rick Fairless, owner of Easyriders Dallas began the thought process for a new name for his well known custom bike establishment. In addition to Easyriders Dallas, Rick Fairless also owns an adjoining bar & grill called Strokers IceHouse. Strokers IceHouse is a very popular hang out for all motorcycle enthusiasts in the DFW area. On a nice weekend the crowd swells to an excess of 1000 motorcycles. Strokers IceHouse is known for their outdoor atmosphere, live music & the coldest beer in Dallas.

It was obvious to Rick what the new name should be, Rick Fairless’ – STROKERS DALLAS. Strokers is already a well known name because of STROKERS ICEHOUSE. “Since STROKERS is already a well known name & all my customers know me, I decided to change the name to, ‘Rick Fairless- STROKERS DALLAS’. Hey, it will make things simpler, now my Custom Motorcycle Shop & my Beer Joint can just be called ‘STROKERS’. Are we a motorcycle shop that sells beer or a beer joint that sells motorcycles? You decide!”

STROKERS DALLAS will continue to build some of the most outrageous custom motorcycles in the country. Some of our customers include Randy White & Herschel Walker of the Dallas Cowboys, Mike Modano, Derian Hatcher, Richard Matvichuk, Billy Guerin, Aaron Downey, Darryl Sydor, Jason Arnott, Guy Carboneau, Brenden Morrow & Phillipe Boucher, all from the Dallas Stars Hockey Club.

Rick says, “I am very proud to have been Easyriders Dallas for seven years. I want to thank Joe Teresi & the fine people of Easyriders Corporate for helping me get started. I want my customers to know that the only thing that is changing is the sign out front. Everything else is exactly the same. Please continue to expect the same quality people & positive attitude from us that you always have. We will continue to carry the fine Easyriders Roadware clothing line. We will continue to provide quality service & build some of the coolest custom motorcycles in the country. Also, we will continue to sell Big Dog, American IronHorse & Victory Motorcycles as well as late model Harleys. Hey, I look at this as an opportunity to get up a little earlier & work a little harder. I love a challenge!”

FIVE-SPEED SEAL KIT–Johnson Engineering has re-engineered their critically acclaimed triple lip oil seal for five speeds, making it the longest wearing, easiest installing, best performing seal in the industry.

Installation requires Johnson Engineering’s newly developed seal installation tool, which makes in-frame R&R of all seal types a snap. The new tool eisily and securely presses the seal home square to the bore. Check www.twistgear.net.

Forgot to mention, the seal is available indivdually ($12) or as kit with JEalloy chamfered spacer (recommended) for $53. Spacer only is $45. Tool is$30, required for proper install, will work with all 5-speed seals.

Continued On Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–WORST SENTENCE OF THE WEEK, KING STOLEN IN LODI, OHIO, AND JOSE’S OLD SCHOOL REPORT

Continued From Page 3

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Last week I ended talking a bit about time, and that got me thinking (Oh shit, thinking again !!!). I’m pretty sure a lot of people who read this will relate, others will think that this shit only happened in the old times. How come I don’t have a very chromed out Twinkie and enjoy the ” heavy mileage” of Main street? In other words, what the fuck is wrong with these guys that live in the past, and resist to follow the new ” era”? Sure there’s some things that have improved a lot since the dark ages. Brakes for one (they actually work now), tires that grip and lights that let you see the road, as well as be seen. We live in the era of 6-speeds, the starter button, and hydraulic clutches, I mean, some do, some don’t….

So what is my point? I guess it’s all going back to fun times, to some time far, far away. It could be five years, could be 15, could be 30. We rode amongst friends. Any lame excuse was valid to get on bikes, kick them over and ride around the island or around the block. It made no fucking difference, a couple phone calls and the group would meet, anywhere, anytime. Evo’s and 5-speeds were a brand new thing, way out of our budgets and out of our desires as well.

It was just about a group of friends with their ” old ” bikes, rolling around. No particular place to go, just ride and create some mayhem on the way, while leaving the eternal droppings of ” excess” oil down the black top or the puddle at any bar’s sidewalk (nope, we never parked in the lot, always the sidewalk). Those were times when you carried a tool pouch, plugs, plug tool, points and condenser. It was a must. Amazingly to some riders now, we could use and install all of the above even in the darkest of dark. Those times, when you rode 80 or 90 miles just to go eat something and then just haul ass back (mind you, in Puerto Rico that’s all the way to the other side of the island). Or we’d head out and ride around the city for half an hour, and I mean just ride around, cruising (for lack of a better term), and laughing the whole fucking way. In more simple words, enjoying the shit out of it.

Or during the times we had our bikes in Florida and would ride from Daytona to Tampa, just for the hell of it, at 3 a.m., in the crisp cool of the early morning. We stopped in the most desolate and pitch black places just to smoke a cigarette, sounds simple? It was, and fun as well. Maybe the times that we left for a short ride and ended up doing the 250 mile lap around the island, fourth gear screaming for a break. Those old Pans and Shovels putted along, even on one cylinder.

I have noticed that in much of what I share with you guys there is a strong base in what I’m talking about. The way it was, and to some still is. Your buddy would get gas in an empty beer bottle if he ran out. Your friend would grab the spare plugs in your tool pouch, if someone was too fucked to kick his bike you kicked it. If someone bought the latest ” live to ride ride to live” badges, you ripped them off his bike. Let’s not even start on the police siren stories, they were still, kinda illegal. We created so much chaos with those. Ah, the good ol’ times.

Like everything, times change, schedules and shops. We’re now building high end choppers. Events and all the stuff that involves being part of this industry has changed, while other guys grow up and have to attend to their own kind of burdens. You know, real jobs, wives and such deals. But wait, there’s hope and there’s always stuff that does not go away. Like most things in this life, the fun ones. I mean, they disappear from our schedules or get replaced by others. Not in this case, and this is certainly not the sad end of the story. Little by little all my friends have managed to keep, or even re purchase their old bikes. Sure, now they are parked next to the latest neo-chopper or maybe a Heritage. They have been re-rattled and new white walls replaced the cracked ones. Once more we are taking the time to meet at least once a week and ride a bit. The fun is coming back to this thing we call a lifestyle.

I would not change it for the world. Hell, now we don’t have to run the red light (without wanting to), since they actually Stop.

In line with what I said above, and some stuff I have been promising for ages, here’s some photos of the latest projects. It seems like we build some newer choppers and then some old school stuff. Right now we are heavily into the old stuff. Most of these bikes are getting ready to roll to the Horse Smoke Out, so there’s a lot of work ahead. While some are ready, some are not, and some like my ’60 are being rebuilt (once fucking more), just for the hell of it. Enjoy the photos !

And now to the news…..

We want to wish Jesse a prompt recoup, (yes THAT Jesse) from his shoulder surgery, I’ve seen some of his cool projects and can’t wait to get the go ahead and post them here.

We’ve got news that our own T Bear has been spending some time at Gasoline Alley, taking a look at what Indian Larry is building for the Discovery Channel Biker Build off 3. I know what it is, but I won’t let the cat out of the bag. I know T Bear has a gag order… I wonder what Paul Yaffe is up to in Phoenix ???

Speaking of T Bear, that report (by Bandit) from Tahiti rocked! I hope I can join the next trip in November. I wanted to go this time, but knowing that Bandit was going to hit on all the Tahitian wahines (you know, and tell them stories about his King) I decided to stay away and have a clear slate when I visit. I’ve heard it’s no fun going on vacation with your dad.

I guess we are all waiting on news from the Laughlin front. The over policed scene must have been a burden to many. But that’s what you gotta do so the big spenders, aka Rubbies, feel safe pretending to be bad asses.

Oh well, I’m outta here. gotta go mount that rear white wall on and secure my new seat from PDQ in the chop/bob. The super B with Goodson air cleaner is looking bad ass and I found an Imperial (whatever that is) Pan primary cover that I’m polishing back to life. Have a good week, and week end. Feliz cinco de mayo to our Mexican brothers !

–Jose, Old Skool Bikernet reporter

MOTORCYCLE STOLEN IN LODI, OHIO–We lost our ’96 RoadKing 4-27-03. Taken without a trace Sunday morning between 4:30am and 6:30am. WE feel raped. It’s like losing a loved one.

The insurance co. says we have to wait at least a month to begin anything? We want a bike now. Life sucks sometimes.

–Anne Cavano & John Emmerich
Acemmerichunl1@aol.com

ANOTHER SWAP MEET REMINDER–Just another reminder of the swap meet in Waco this Sunday. Looks like a good chance of rain this weekend, but this show is INSIDE at the Heart of Texas Fairgrounds.

Admission :$8 for Adults
$5 for Kids
Free for under 5
Show Hours 11am-5pm
Vendor Set-up 8am-11am

From I-35 Exit on Valley Mills – Go WEST ON VALLEY MILLSto Bosque Blvd. and take a right. Fairgrounds are approx one mile down on the left.

For More Information Call: 254-687-9066or visit: www.texasscooter.com

Also remember to mark your calendar for theDALLAS CHAMPIONSHIPS May 18

BIKERNET MARRIAGE ADVICE–Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to openhis eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and aglass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing infront of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room andsees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So’s the rest ofthe house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, “Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast andthe morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks,”Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious.Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a blackeye when you stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Marty asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, andbreakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when shetried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’mmarried!”

–from Redhorse

100TH ANNIVERSARY PARADE ENTRY DEADLINE OF MAY 1, 2003 APPROACHES–Don’t miss your chance to join the 100th Anniversary Parade. Get your tickets by May 1st for the 100th Anniversary Celebration in Milwaukee and you’ll be entered into a random drawing to ride in the parade.

Tickets on sale for the 100th Anniversary Celebration in Milwaukee.Join the 100th Anniversary Celebration August 28-30, 2003 in Milwaukee, Wis. Ticket packages are on sale now! Get all the details on the activities featured during this once in a lifetime event.

Collector’s Edition Mobile Phone By Motorola Now Available for a Limited Time.Don’t miss your chance to own the ultimate conversation piece. A must for every enthusiast, the Harley-Davidson? 100th Anniversary Edition Mobile Phone by Motorola brings together the classic heritage of Harley-Davidson with the forward-thinking technology of Motorola.Get more details on how you can purchase the Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary Collector’s Edition Mobile phone from a participating Harley-Davidson dealer or by visiting motorola.com today. Limited time offer.

15 YEARS FOR DEER HUNTING–Judge admits he had ‘great difficulty’ imposing mandatory sentence.Jack Altsman will spend a mandatory 15 years in federal prisonbecause he hunted deer on his own property, reports the AssociatedPress.

The Beaver Falls, Pa., man was caught on the horns of amandatory-sentencing statute requiring a minimum 15 yearsimprisonment for convicted felons found in possession of a firearm.Altsman, 43, has had two burglary convictions.

However, according to sentencing guidelines of the Armed CareerCriminal Act, the 15-year sentence was mandatory. McVerry could havesentenced Altsman to 19 years.?

Click to order catalog!

Custom Chrome ? and Chrome Specialties ??have joined forces to bring you the most comprehensive product offering in the Harley-Davidson ? aftermarket! At over 1,400 pages and over 25,000 part numbers, the Custom Chrome 2003 Catalog features everything from nuts & bolts to HR3 bike kits, and sets the NEW industry standard. ?

?ONLY $9.95 + 6.95 Shipping

Once you find the part you need, go into Chrome Specialties building in the Bikernet Gulch (at the bottom of the page), plug in the part number and order online for the fastest delivery! It’s that simple.?

BIKERNET MEDICAL STUDY–Should children witness childbirth?

Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again.”

NEWS DEADLINE APPROACHES–Suppose this is my day to bitch. I’ve been trying to bring you as much information on the 100th anniversary of Harley-Davidson, but can’t seem to get cooperation from the factory. Kate from their PR agency tried to assist. I was going to devote a special section of the site to ride-in routes, agendas, lodging, etc. I’ve been told to go to the media site or the Harley-Davidson web site. Unfortunately, I can’t pick up all I need from the H-D web site and the media site is severely lacking data and easy-to-use images. So, I suppose I’m stuck. Just trying to help. The best way for you to get information is to head over to the Harley-Davidson website. They have complete information. We’ll publish sporatic releases when we receive them.

Watch the site for new material. I’m about to wrap a Shrunken FXR tech and a new fuel injection tuning/timing and fuel delivery system was just launched by an old friend, Allen Alvarez, in Florida. An extremely interesting report that covers many of the existing systems will be launched in the next couple of days.

Seems our esteemed, tireless Digital Gangster and road- weary web master was lampooned in Laughlin and is missing in action. We have an APB out for the dizzy-eyed bastard. Report in goddamnit.

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BOGUS ACCIDENT STATS REVEALED, BIKERNET CONTEST WINNER, BADDEST EXHAUST OF THE WEEK AND NEW FUEL INJECTION TUNER

Continued From Page 2

NEW TWIN TECH FUEL INJECTION TUNING KIT– In the TCFI Kit the customer gets everything he needs to install thesystem. It includes the NUT fo the O2 Sensor, O2 sensor, TCFI ECU, Softwareand the PC Link and the WEGO with all the hardware to install the system.

The nice thing about the system compared to the rest you don’tneed a dyno to tune it. You get on the bike and ride it and it tunes itself.

If you compare pricing to the Powercommander 3 which retails for about $350plus pay $200 for dyno time plus labor to install it. Then if you make anychanges you have to back and put it on the dyno to adjust for the changes.

The difference between TCFI andthe DFO and Powercommander is we are taking the system from a speed densityto a Alpha/N closed loop. The problem with speed density is when you get into high lift cams thesystem can’t handle it. Our system works like most of the formula 1 racecars. If an engine builder is using a certain combination all the time he canthen save the program after he dials it in using the O2 sensor and then withour PC Link he can upload that program into TCFI

A chart comparing single to dual fire ignitions. Watch for the TCFI tech to be launched on Bikernet in the next couple of days.

Contact:
Allen Alvarez
Sales Manager
386-304-0700
allen@daytona-twintec.com

CRUISING RIDER MAGAZINE TO CARRY RARE PANHEAD EDITORIAL–I wrote a column for Cruising Rider last week that involves a contraption I built for my dual-carb, ’48 Panhead. I’m not sure this article makes sense to me, but here’s what the esteemed editor had to say. Let me know what you think when to see a copy in about four months:

“Good column,” Josh Placa said, “Mr. Bandit, although my melon started to twist trying to keep upwith the various permutations of your cobbed carb project. My only surpriseis that a genius such as your esteemed self didn’t anticipate all thisbefore you even started.

So, how does the thing run? Dual 2003 Mikunis metering fuel to a ’48 Pandefinitely bridges the tech gap of more than a half century. Please excusemy ignorance here, but what is the advantage of such a set-up other than itlooking cool and being a bear to hook up? BYW, I assume ID stands for InsideDiameter and OD for Outside Diameter? Or does it mean Overdose of gas fumes.”

Also, how can you expand the ID without expanding OD? Isn’t it really thesame?”

I tried to answer his questions and explain. I suppose his jumbled quiz points out just a few problems with the rambling article. If only I can find that Irish Whiskey.–Bandit

BIKERNET ACCIDENT ADVICE–Two bikers are riding side by side down a county road. One of them has the zipper on his jacket break, and the flapping in the wind is driving him crazy. So he pulls over and decides to don the jacket backwards, at least til they get home. It works well enough, if a bit uncomfortable.

A little while later both guys wipe out in a turn when they don’t see a patch of loose gravel. They are lying inert in a field, their bikes nearby, when a farmer happens upon them. He immediately calls 911.

“You gotta send an ambulance!” he yells into the phone. “These two boys are twisted up pretty bad.”

“Are they still breathing?” asks the operator.

“Well the one was, until I turned his head back around the right way….”

–from Chris T.

Cyril Huze Spikelights–These spikelights are provided in 3 designs & 3 sized: Mini, Hardcore or Visor style. They are offered in 2-function bulb or 2-function L.E.D.. L.E.D’s are brighter than bulb, have no filaments, are not susceptible to failure due to vibrations, and have a 100,000 continuous hour life span. Choice of lens: red, amber, blue & clear. All lights are high gloss polishing billet aluminum. Wiring is included.

Cyril Huze CustomMotorcycles & Parts
www.cyrilhuze.com
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923

PROFESSOR NUTTBOY ON TULLAMORE DEW– It’s an illusive thing, the dew, it be. Many a tale is told ’bout sippin such 12-year nectar ‘neath the risin’ moon on a foggy bog. But then them tales be in yer head, ya blatherin’ idjit. It’s as dear as me old mammy’s heart, as rare as a nun’s fart, and as welcome as the charms of a comely, young tart. You find it, me young bucko and I’ll gladly share a dram or two.

–A thirsty Ladd

BIKERNET SEXUAL SCHOOL–She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.

He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?”

The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”

–from Ray R.

THE BIKERNET MOST INTERESTING EXHAUST SYSTEM OF THE WEEK AWARD GOES TO HACKASAW–I may run them into a collector and out under the seat,” Hackasaw said recently. “Some 55 hours in them so far.All root passes have been made and some of the fill passes are done.Still have to make tabs and such as well as heat shielding.”

Later…….. I can’t wait until this bike gets it’s hand hammered alloy tank fitted…….. HELL NO it won’t be “period correct” or anything conventional”

FRANCE FOUND GUILTY–The London Guardian found documents showingParis fed intelligence to Baghdad before the war.Iraq got diplomatic secrets and military guidancefrom France. Who else could have taught the Iraqis how to lose their entire country in two weeks?

–from Bob T.

BIKERNET FREE CONTEST WINNERS–
UJJWAL DEY
MUMBAI, MAHARASHTRA, INDIA.
Suggestion: CRUISER BIKES SHOULD COME WITH ADDICTION WARNINGS.

DAVE MULHOLLAND
CANYON LAKE, TX
Wanted: A COUPLA TOPLESS HARDBODIES AND A CASE OF BEER. OR IF YOU CAN’T MANAGE THAT, THEN HOW ABOUT A T-SHIRT?

Dave Mulholland & Ujjwal Dey, if you?re reading this I need you to send me an email at sinwu@bikernet.com.

Congrats!

BIKERNET ACCIDENT REPORT CORRECTIONS–Damit Bandit, you published NHTSA’s lie in Thursdays news again. Assoon as they get the whole world convinced that “TRAFFIC SAFETYOFFICIALS SEE SHARP RISE IN MOTORCYCLE FATALITIES” they will startdumping a bunch of “safety” laws on our asses. If you’re going topublish it can’t you at least set the record straight? They are using bogus data for “vehicle miles traveled (VMT)” to come up with thislie.

How can we have over a million more motorcycles on the road in2001 thSn we did in 1998 and travel a billion fewer miles? NHTSA saysthe average rider traveled 1,943 miles in 2001. Our recent Internetsurvey showed that only 7% of motorcyclist traveled under 2,500 milesand 74% travel more than 5000 miles per year. 26% said they travelmore that 10,000 miles per year.

There is not any increase inmotorcycle fatalities, it’s another NHTSA lie! The total number ofinjuries have actually lowered. The percentage of injured that die hasremained the same. The number of fatalities track with the number ofregistered motorcycles with a consistently widening gap since 1986. Iwill again attach the charts I compiled from NHTSA’s Traffic SafetyFacts Report dated December 2002.

FTW,
–Stroker

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This is only the second Flowbench I have built. The first one was modeled after a commercial one but was under powered. I could barely get 8″ w.c. test pressure on intake testing.

I have been working on this thing for quite some time now. This second design is not of the Laminar Flow type benches like Jerry Branch or Don Tilley use. This design is more like the larger comercial Flowbenches most commonly used by alot of cylinder head porter’s nowdays.

This new bench was made by using some old plans from a old car magazine from the early 90’s.

My compadre, Tone from Green Bay, Wisconsin, knowing that I like Science Project’s, turned me onto this stuff. I owe all my inspiration for this madness to Dr. George Fishbach!! Besides it’s winter and what the fuck else is there to do when it’s too cold to ride.

This new bench will have the potential of as much as 1600 CFM @ 28″ w.c. I’m starting out with a 400 CFM @ 28″ w.c. capability. This is mainly because due to the cost of the vacuum motors. You really only need 300 to 600 CFM to do cylinder heads. 1200 to 1600 CFM comes into play when you’re performing serious intake/carb/EFI throttle body testing.

Another reason I’m building this is I can’t afford a commercial one which can cost thousands of Dead Presidents. In building one myself, the dough I save will allow me to hook up a cool computer and add on stuff for the bench from Audie Technology www.audietech.com. They sell high- tech, time-saving computer gizmo’s for flow benches.

The Flowbench with 400 CFM capacity can be built for under $500.00 US. The Flowbench cabinet is made in two section’s top and bottom. It’s dimensions are 27 x 38 x 40 inches for the bottom cabinet. The top part with the lighting and where the manometers are located is 18 x 38 x 40 inches. I designed it in two sections for portablity and ease of construction. The 3/4-inch particle board is way heavy.

The cabinet was built using a Skil saw, Roto Zip drywall tool, Black and Decker workmate, battery powered drill and various wood working hand tools. You also need to have access to a lathe and milling machine. They are useful for manufacturing the metal parts that will be used inside the bench.

These initial photos and text were kinda of a update progress report showing where I’m at with all of this. So far this winter the Flowbench project is moving along nicely, mainly because of a lack of any kind of a fucking “Dead Line”. When you have a deadline on a project, no matter what it is, you are doin you wind hurrying some aspect of the thought/building process. Which means it can turn into a “Cluster Fuck”!

 

This flow bench is being developed by a master Harley-Davidson mechanic from Charlotte, North Carolina Harley-Davidson. It’s based on professionally manufactured units, but Pablo is adding additional tooling to improve the ability for this unit to test heads. Once the unit is complete we will see top ends studied. We’ll begin to understand how headwork is critical to performance.–Bandit

 

This flick shows the inside of the lower plenum with top plenum partition removed. This looks inside from the top of the main lower cabinet that houses all the vacuum motors below this bottom plenum.

 

The photo above shows inside the cabinet from the back side. This is showing the back of the lower plenum and also the mounting of the relay switches that fire up the vacuum motors.

 

This shot depicts one of the air valves, in it’s seat, partially open.

 

Here are the switches, with the bezel in place, on the exhaust side air valve bushing.

 

This is the left side intake door shown open. The door was made out of .060 thick aluminum. Door opening is 8 1/2 x 11 inches.

 

Here’s the air opening’s of the vacuum motors mounted in center divider of the lower cabinet. The four motors are mounted in the center. The other holes are drilled but blocked off with aluminum plate for additional motor capacity, 12 total.

 

The last shot shows how I mounted the four motor’s on the center partition wall. The original plans had the motors glued to the partition. I wasn’t comfortable with that assembly, so I came up with (garage engineering) brackets that allow me to service the motors if need be. Also they won’t fall off during operation. The motors are fairly heavy. Gluing just seemed like B.S. to me. I know that some commercial flow benches glue their motors in place. Cheap bastards!!

–Pablo

TAHITI RUN 2003 – MONSTER MARINE

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MONSTER MARINA TAHITIAN STYLE

by Crazy Horse

Photos by Crazy Horse & Layla

The last full day of the infamous Tahiti Run was supposed to be where we all just lazed around the grass huts. But no, not Bandit, the big bastard just can’t keep still. He had brought this nasty long knife from Cali and he wasbound and determined to do something with it. So he sent Layla out withinstructions to find wood worthy of boat building or don’t come back. She made the biggest sad eyes she could, and let me tell you, she can make sad eyes that melt the heart of most any man. But not Bandit. He don’t give in.Not even when she wanted a Margarita at the end of the previous evening. ” I guess I’m not getting a Margarita,” the great granddaughter of Popeye pouted as she walked down the dock to our huts. Bandit did his best John Wayneimitation and kept on walkin’.

Me? I’m married to a guy who would have bought her 10 Margaritas. So I was goofin off, sleeping and swimming and doing whatever I wanted to. Then the phone rang. ” Hey you!” Came the gruff voice of reality over the phone. “Get off your duff and get over here. We need some expert help on something.Bring that bike-building hubby too. There’s serious stuff going on.”We hustled over to Hut #116. Layla met us at the door and led us to theporch where Bandit was sitting in a chair surrounded by wood shavings,holding an amazingly well carved outrigger canoe model.

” The natives said we were fools to try it, they said no one has ever built one!!” I didn’t bother to tell him that most folks were too busy napping or eating or drinking Mai Tais, to do anything industrious. ” We had to do it just to prove them wrong!!!!” He thundered.

The challenge, build a boat using only found materials and tools that we had packed in our bags which consisted of a knife, needles, thread, pen, fingernail polish, scissors, and several bottles of white wine.Layla had found 4 pieces of wood and a bit of cloth. She used her sewing kit to fashion lines to hold the mast and boom in place. We then used needles to rig it together.

She had even found a Roger Rabbit figure in the parking lot of the store. Roger would captain the boat.

Now it needed a gel coat to keep it sea worthy. I was sent home to Hut #109 to paint a purple gel coat followed by a set of flames that ran the 16″ length of the boat. Big Charlie the main man at Sofitel’s Ia Ora Resort let us borrow his son’s fishing pole as a safety line.

Bandit launched the boat and off it went. It was doing great, then disaster struck. The wind had caught the sail and the mast had not held up the wet sail. We pulled it back in and worked on the problem over a bottle of white wine. The mast was reattached and corks from the wine bottles were attached to the outrigger to aid in buoyancy. Layla snidely reminded Bandit that she had recommended the corks be used before. He did not seem amused.Bandit now launched the boat and it looked to be very successful.

Out over the water it went into the sunset as we watched through binoculars. Then suddenly, it disappeared! The current downstream of the huts is very strong, so strong you can just about swim in place. Bandit and I jumped into the water and swam off to save Roger. We were both frantically searching when Layla hollered that she had pulled the boat to safety with the fishing line.Some floating seaweed had caught it and dragged it down.Now Bandit and I had to make the swim back to the huts. As darkness closed in, I finally climbed out of the water to a waiting bottle of chilled champagne. The first episode of Monster Marina had drawn to a close. We were happy, life was good, and Bandit was even willing to buy Layla a Margarita.

Join us for our next installment of Monster Marina. Anyone can participate!Just come along on our next Tahiti trip in Nov.Unlike the big TV show, there were no fancy toolboxes full of tools given out, nor were fits thrown, the only reward was sitting on the porch of a grass hut watching the thunderstorms play out over the water and knowing that someplace there was a world full of noise, CNN, alarm clocks, traffic jams and road rage. And that was 4200 miles away from here. Not a hell of alot mattered to us other than watching the storms and polishing off anotherbottle of wine.

Thanks,
JoAnn
Crazy Horse Painting