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BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Ok guys, what’s up with TV? I got to catch Southern Choppers, which is produced by the same guys that do American Chopper, and I’m sure most, if not all that watched the show noticed that. Let me state that Randy is a very talented and successful builder, and I have nothing whatsoever against him, ok so that cleared up…

It really makes me sick that the guys who are producing the shows are doing a stupid script for the guys to follow, and even editing that way, one of the things that I noticed right of the bat was Randy not smoking during the whole two hour show. Even the phrases and situation were very similar to the ones done in the OCC circus. The producers have taken the oldest scheme play, hero, anti hero, villain, etc and created a plot that is as old as dirt. The only difference is that now it’s about building choppers, if we can call them that. I would never dare call something from OCC a chopper. I know that is very difficult to actually express and pinpoint what a chopper actually is, but I know that long forks with every gadget in the book, overdone, over painted, over everything customs are not that.

It’s like the chick who is very beautiful with no makeup, but the producers of Miss America insist in having them all dressed up with ridiculous hairdos and faker than fake, which makes them plain ugly. I’ve got to give credit to the Southern Chopper crew, they built and created most of the parts from scratch, they showed how the talented and experienced do things, but then again the showmanship and scripts should be left to sitcoms and soaps. I can’t say since I have not been in that position yet, but it’s a tough call between getting the exposure and some guy calling the shots not letting you be yourself.

In these days of reality TV overload, there’s no such thing as reality because the script fucks it up and the same words are repeated over and over in each show. I really can’t say what I would do in their position; you have the possibility of showing your stuff to millions of people and raising your coffers at the same time, but would I loose who I am for a TV show? That is a thought call if not in that position, but I really doubt it.

It’s not a matter of me liking the bikes being built, I do have an opinion, but it’s my opinion, which is of no significance to any of them, it’s not a matter of caring about the sell out situation that we are living where you find chopper shirts in Wal-Mart and any major mega store, the times have made the chopper a hot commodity. Money is rolling and sadly most of the money is ending up in hands that have nothing to do with the industry at all, the mega corporations are devouring the fad.I certainly do prefer the Biker Build off’s, they seem to be a lot more real. Still it has a plot and is edited to evolve into a certain point, but builders do seem like they are themselves, which they are doing what they do day after day. We as chopper riders and builders are unique and unpredictable people, these shows are making us predictable and hence, boring.

I really don’t remember when was the last time I built something that wasn’t on a tight schedule; Daytona nor Sturgis wait for me to finish my bike. That is part of the whole thing. I don’t do a whole melodrama around the shop because the clock is ticking and Daytona is looming on the horizon. We just work our asses off and stay in the shop, working as long as it might be necessary even if it means three or four days with half hour cat naps. To many of us that is reality, not a made for mere Joe’s show.

I guess if I wasn’t so fucking busy all the time I would have a great time watching all the car and motorcycle shows you can find on cable right now. Seems like we can run a whole week schedule by these shows. Thanks to Jesse it’s cool to be able to work with your hands once more, to be a blue collar worker and the networks are having a feeding frenzy with that.Sure there is some very interesting stuff being done, and we are not experts in every aspect of building, but it’s so hard to sift the bullshit that it’s not worth the time to watch the whole show. A couple weeks ago I saw a guy TIG welding that had me drooling, those were the best welds I’ve ever seen, which led me to try improve myself. Or the long haired guy at Milwaukee Iron (Gary ?) who showed how to fabricate in the true sense, or the super cool tools that these guys have access to

It turns my stomach that our beloved lifestyle has gone public, every ass that walks over to us asks us about the OCC show and their bikes, they have no fucking idea what reality is. They stay away because they think all choppers are on the hundred grand mark and that is not positive for the industry. Sure we are known by millions of new people, but I guess not the right people, so what’s the use.

Just go cruise down Daytona streets, any punk ass wannabee with white tennis shoes and a Twinkie in the parking lot want’s a fucking 250 tired softail chopper with long forks and Easter egg paint jobs. What?s the use? They just traded their corny twinkies for corny, ugly ass choppers, yeah, softails since rigids are bad for my metro sexual back. Fuck ’em. Show me a jockey shift, kick only, rigid, homemade chopper and I will shove that fringe leather jacket, white tennis shoe, causeway posing, mother fucking grin up their collective asses.Show me those guys riding hard, and I mean hard, balls out, for a hundred miles rain or shine, and then blasting their precious rolling coffee tables all night long burning that 250 bubble yum and they might earn some of my limited respect.

Choppers are built to ride and beat the shit out of them. In some cases like Randy?s, he uses them as a platform for his latest products, magazines and such. I’m sure that after all the taping was done, he beat the shit out of that purple bike. After all, we are lucky enough that we can build another one, and the cycle starts once more. Choppers are not dick extensions, nor status symbols, they are machines to enjoy, use and abuse. They are part of us, of our frustration, sweat and bloody knuckles. When a TV show sees that, they will have my out most respect.

With this I will leave you guys until next week. It?s back to the shop to meet my deadlines, because Daytona does not wait for anyone and I don’t have a TV show to lay back on.

Jose Bikernet “as it used to be” Caribbean Report

GANGSTER CHOPPERS–Hey, this is JB…You might remember me from The Horse’s boards and mycalendar Customs and Cuties. Well, John Dodson, owner of Gangster Choppershas brought me on to take care of their Marketing Dept.

I was hoping that we could supply some pics from a recent photo shoot andwrite up on the bike used.

–JB
jb@gangsterchoppers.com
804-677-2809 (cell)

Whenever you’re ready Bikernet is standing by.–Bandit

PAINT REPORT FROM JIM’S–This barbed flame job paint, owned by Richard Slade, is a re-creation, with a lot more detail, of his lastpaint job. This is all HOK paint. His last paint job had no pinstriping,so this time I told him we were going to do it up. I used 2 colorsfor the striping to give it more contrast and to divide the 2 sets offlames. The base color is candy apple red.

As always, I work with the owner on the colors; makes for happycustomers.

— Jim
Jims Cycle Painting
1351 W. 134th St.
Gardena, Ca. 90247
(310) 329-4707

DAVID MANN BENEFIT RUN–Picked up a magazine at 7-11 I had not seen before and came across an ad for the First annual Benefit for David Mann at Kansas City International Raceway on July 17. Stated that there would be Bands, Food, Beverages, Vendors and more.

First I had heard of it or the rag called “Wide Open” and I think it’s a regional pub from MO, but sounded interesting.

Here’s David’s address for donations to his health fund: 9510 Parkwood St. in Kansas City, MO 64137. He can use all our support.

More good news. Dave’s art may be picked up by Segal Fine Art. That will mean that his historic art from the early years of Easyriders will be printed on the finest paper, framed, signed, numbered and available once again to the public. Look up Segalfineart.com and tell them your anxious to see and buy Dave’s classic biker art.

SOUTHERN CHOPPER SHOW–Just wanted to drop you guys a note about the Southern Chopper show I watched on the Discovery network the other night. You guys are the creme of the crop. Watching how you form flat sheet metal into tanks etc was simply awesome. These other bike builders (occ) buy almost all of their parts made by some other company then just put it together, very little of their stuff is made in house. Keep kicking their butts. Can’t wait till the next show.

–Larry L. Covington

WARNING SIGNS–The attached picture shows a sign in Japanese metro trains,”Priority seats for…………….” from left to right:

1. person with injured arm
2. person holding a child
3. pregnant woman
4. person with injured leg

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HANDMADE PIPES FROM SHAMROCK– I looked at the Shrunken FXR’s pipes. I thought you did a pretty good job on those!

In the same line, here’s a set of pipes I just pieced together for a client’s bike I’m building. He’s in Santa Fe, NM.

I had to clear his RHD 240 tire frame section. I assembled them similar to what you did. And, I’m out of the Holley pipe splices too, after this one!

–Irish Rich
http://www.shamrockfabrication.com

CHARLOTTE ER BIKE SHOW REPORT–This past Saturday (Jan. 24) the Easyriders bike show came to Charlotte. The weather was a great, 60 degrees and sunny. The next day we paid with an ice storm, but that’s another story. The show set records in attendance, 15,000. When “THE MEANEST” and I took a lunch break the entrance line was three blocks long and the wait to enter the show was said to be forty-five minutes to an hour. It was rumored that the fire marshall cut the line off until some had finished looking at all the bikes and left the show. There were 250 bikes entered in the show competition! Another record. There were bikes from all up and down the east coast. Take a look at the pictures and I think you will agree they were top quality. It was good to see all those people come out and support the show.

Paul Yaffe and Kendall Johnson were the big names at the show and both had bikes on display. There were top local builders in attendance as well. Mike Marquart and the crew from Redneck Ingeniuty were on hand with an impressive display of bikes as well as the coolest sofa (love seat). Randy Simpson and his crew from Milwaukee Iron were there with another impressive display of bikes. Gangster Choppers out of Virginia was another shop from Virginia. Billy and his crew from Eastside Choppers out of Myrtle Beach were there and he agreed to come up with a couple of awards for the 6th Annual Run For Breath “In Memory of Justin Pullin” to be held in July. Thanks Billy!

There were a lot of high dollar bikes in the show but there were a lot of old school affordable bikes there also. I am glad to see this style of bike coming back. It was a long day as “THE MEANEST” and I worked our booth (H-D of Charlotte) but it was fun to see everyone. At the end of the day, everyone had a blast.

Hey, only four more weeks until DAYTONA! Now if we can just get rid of this damned ICE! Oh one more thing, GO PANTHERS!

Later!
–Mike (THE STEALTH)

2004 LOS ANGELES CALENDAR BIKE SHOW EXIBITOR REGISTRATION OPEN– The Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show Weekend held at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach, CA, and continues to grow each year as the most popular streetbike show in America. Catering to the custom, cruiser and sport streetbike markets, the Show is always the 3rd weekend of July.

The 2004 Show will again feature major spectator attendance with over 160 major manufacturers, exhibitors, venders and the leading custom bike builders from across North America. Performance Machine is the event’s title sponsor, with associate sponsors including Iron Works magazine, Jardine Performance with its West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, Corona Extra beer, the FastDates.com Calendars, The Los Angeles Times / ReCycler / Cycle Buys, together with Trader Publications and SPEED TV’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show is the premier streetbike event weekend in America. Activities include our annual charity ride-in hosted by Iron Works magazine to benefit the Olive Crest Shelter for homeless and abused children and families.

For complete information on the 2004 LA Calendar Motorcycle Show go tohttp://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM

TIM CONDOR CUSTOM–

Walter asked me to send you a story on the “Economizer”. I told him to send you some more pics of him actually ridin’ it around too. Anyway, things are movin’ along and the shop should be up and running in another month. Here’s a few pics of my recent work, hope things are goin’ good man!

Check the Monster Garage Bike Feature in the Bike Barn (features) or on the homepage.

–Tim Conder
The Conderosa

BIKERNET LINE OF HATS–Light and airy Bikernet Gambler tweed hat for cool sun protection. Simple Soft black Bikernet Ballcaps. This one is top of the line bio-washed, six-panel twill, unstructured and set low. And there’s the Basic Black Bikernet Ballcap.

The Anti-Black Bikernet demin Ballcap, it’s six-panel, solid denim, unstructured, low-profile with a pre-curved visor and swen eyelets. Badassed black Bikernet Beanies. T

They’re all available in the Bikernet Gulch at the bottom of every page.

–Snake

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Life is bizarre. I’m not alone in my positive vibes regarding 2004, but it’s also not unanimous. There are troubled souls out there. On the other hand Layla is taking her first motorcycle training course tonight, heading toward a California MC license. We’re throwing her leg over a new rubbermounted Sportster in the near future. She’ll report, or get the wanderlust fever and run out on my ass. Let’s hit the news:

AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICELEGISLATIVE ALERT:ABATE OF VIRGINIA REQUESTS ASSISTANCE WITH HELMET REPEAL BILL–Dear NCOM — Our helmet reform bill HB374 has been assigned to the Transportation Committee. Our request to have it moved to the Militia, Police and Public Safety Committee (where we have many more friends) has been denied. We currently do not have the commitment of enough of the Transportation Committee members to get our bill out of there and heard on the floor of the House of Delegates. We are launching a massive email campaign to request support from across the nation in writing our delegates on that committee. If you could help in our efforts to spread the word to every biker in America, we would GREATLY appreciate it.

Here’s an excerpt of the info I recently sent out. It’s also on the Biker Net website at http://www.vabiker.net/html/modules.php?name=HelmetLaw2004

It is absolute vital that as many people as possible write the following Delegates of the Transportation Committee and request their support of HB374. The following is a list of Delegates who have not committed their support.

PLEASE – be respectful in your letters. REQUEST their support, don’t demand. I will post sample letters as quickly as I can.

I can not tell you how very urgent this is. Please take the time to write the following Delegates and urge their support of HB374:

Delegate G. Glenn Oder (R) – House District 94 – (804) 698-1094 email: Del_Oder@house.state.va.us
Delegate Thomas Davis Rust (R) – House District 86 – (804) 698-1086 email: Del_TRust@house.state.va.us
Delegate Timothy D. Hugo(R) – House District 40 – (804) 698-1040 email: Del_Hugo@house.state.va.us
Delegate Edward T. Scott (R) – House District 30 (804) 698-1030 email: Del_EScott@house.state.va.us
Delegate William H. Fralin, Jr. (R) – House District 17 (804) 698-1017 email: Del_Fralin@house.state.va.us
Delegate Brian J. Moran (D) – House District 46 – (804) 698-1046 email: Del_Moran@house.state.va.us
Delegate Jeion A. Ward (D) – House District 92 (804) 698-1092 email: Del_Ward@house.state.va.us
Delegate Adam P. Ebbin (D) – House District 49 (804) 698-1049 email:Del_Ebbin@house.state.va.us
Delegate Mamye E. BaCote (D) – House District 95 (804) 698-1095 email: Del_Bacote@house.state.va.us

We can not thank you enough for your help in this urgent matter.

Penny Adams ABATE of Virginia
usadams@adelphia.net

BIG DOG LANUCHES ENGAGING WEBSITE–Nation’s second largest V-Twin manufacturer gives on-line audiences a more comprehensive look at its bikes, history, and factory at www.bigdogmotorcycles.com.

WICHITA, Kansas (January 26, 2004), Big Dog Motorcycles (the leading designer and manufacturer of high performance, highly-styled heavyweight cruisers, has totally re-designed its website, making it the largest, most comprehensive interactive effort in the company?s history. Even on its first day, the visits doubled over the company’s former site, which was already considered heavily trafficked.

While the most viewed pages are those that describe the all-new Ridgeback, browsers can also take a ride through Big Dog Motorcycle’s past through a company timeline. This new feature contains thirteen vivid pages that celebrate the company’s rich ten-year history of cutting-edge design, company growth, and numerous successes.

All told, the new site contains nearly 400 images of motorcycles, components, accessories, and apparel; extensive product information; customer testimonies; upcoming events; an easy-to-use nationwide dealer locator, and, of course, the stunning monthly calendar girls and bikes. Regarding Big Dog Motorcycle’s new website, Nick Messer, president, said, “It’s the single most comprehensive collection of information on our company and bikes.”

With crisp colorful photographs of the overall bikes as well as numerous close-ups of components and design features, the site is true evidence of Big Dog Motorcycle’s core philosophy: Build cutting-edge cruisers for real-world riding.

INVESTMENT TIPS FOR 2004 In the wake of the Exxon/Mobile deal and the AOL/Time Warner implode, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in onthe ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2004:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

–from Chris T.

HUSBANDS STORE–A store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: “Floor 1 – These men have jobs.”

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: “Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.”

The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: “Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.”

“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: “Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.”

“Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: “Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.”

“Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: “Floor 6 – You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day.”

–from Chris T.

JANKLOW CASE REPORT– The following statement is Bullshit. You, I and many others asked Darrel Killion and ABATE of South Dakota to get more actively involve in this case and he and ABATE of South Dakota chose to ride the fence.

As you know I have followed this closely and the articles that I have read from news sources in South Dakota indicate that Janklow?s sentence is Not Consistent with that of average citizens.

There is No Doubt that Abate of South Dakota was afraid of offending some one in the legislature should they come out against Janklow and his actions. The jury did its job and then the Judge and the Political Machine took over and ABATE just stood there and Watched.

Just to keep the record straight. I am a Life Time Member of Abate. I am one of the Original Members when it was started by Lou Kimzey. I have fought unjust laws all over the country and have even gone to jail for it. So Yes I Do Think I Have The Right To Speak On This Issue.

I feel that generally the ABATE Chapters around the country do a good job and I request you support them any way you can. I think that I do support them when ever I can, but I reserve the Right to Question things I do Not Agree With. This issue is one of them.

I think the Fact that the American Motorcycle Association, which is very conservative did more concerning this issue than ABATE speaks for itself.

I will address some of the other issues like what should be done to stop things like this happening in the future.

–ROGUE

The following is ABATE of South Dakota’s official response:

“While we feel that the sentence awarded to Bill Janklow should have included more than 100 days of jail time, the officers and Board of Directors of ABATE of South Dakota find the sentence generally consistent with the laws and resulting penalties of the justice system of the State of South Dakota.

“In as much as in many states similar accidents result in no penalty at all or at the most a small fine, and in as much as the penalty awarded to Bill Janklow was stiffer than in many similar cases in South Dakota, we believe that the South Dakota justice system has clearly demonstrated that a person’s political, social or economic stature has little bearing on the final outcome of such a case and that the final outcome was based on the circumstances and evidence surrounding this case.

“It is axiomatic that the jury system has fulfilled their duties with fairness and justice, as it is that the sentencing process is consistent with the laws of this state. Nevertheless, the Board of Directors of ABATE of South Dakota is currently deliberating on what the next step should be regarding the penalties in future cases.

“Many of the e-mails we have received clearly demonstrate that there are some that are very discontented with the sentence. Most of those emails are indicating that they intend to boycott South Dakota and the Sturgis Rally because of this. We find it quite unfair that these people would penalize the people of this state for something that they could not control, especially since many of the people that will be affected will be motorcyclists.

“The laws are what they are, and it is apparent that our laws and sentencing for similar cases are considerably more severe then they are in many other states. Granted, there is room for improvement, but boycotting South Dakota and the Sturgis Rally will not accomplish such changes but will only serve to hamper any progress we may hope to achieve.”

–Darrel Killion
State Coordinator
ABATE of South Dakota

HATE YOUR JOB? On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors,draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and lie down on your bed. Open thepackage and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, “Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested”.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: “I am sooooooooooo glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson.”

Have a nice day and remember, there is always someone with a worse job than yours!

–from Rev CarlR

BIKERNET STICKERS AVAILABLE–You can score Bikernet Sticker absolutely free. Just send us a stamped self-addressed envelope and we’ll stuff it with stickers. Send it to Bikernet, P.O. box 1168, San Pedro, CA 90733.

CLUB RAID A BUST–There was a lot of man power but no arrests made when about 100 local and federal law enforcement officers raided a Hells Angels compound.

“We’re looking for any illegal contraband,” Berkeley County Sheriff Wayne DeWitt said Friday afternoon. “The investigation may broaden.”

DeWitt said the raid stemmed from an arrest made earlier in the week of a man whose address was the Hells Angels compound.

Officers chopped through the lock and used explosives to open a steel door on Friday only to find an empty clubhouse and no illegal activity at the Sineath Estates mobile home park just off U.S. Highway 78.

Sheriff’s deputies from Charleston and Berkeley counties, agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Drug Enforcement Agency and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, and the Goose Creek Police Department’s SWAT team participated in the raid.

DeWitt said the overwhelming show of force was meant to protect officers.

–from Rogue

HARD ROCK ROADHOUSE, MYRTLE BEACH– Guess what? Well you won’t be able to because this is too cool……I got a big sponsor and we are on the road kicking off at Myrtle Beach!

Soooo drum roll….R & R Promotions announces the Seminole HARD ROCK ROADHOUSE! This is a touring showcase of four of our top custom builders featuring their Hard Rock custom bikes and situated at the hottest spots at five rallies. Builders featured are Eddie Trotta, Chica, Corey Ness and Kendall Johnson. Rallies on the 2004 tour include Myrtle Beach, Laconia, Sturgis, BIketoberfest and Fort Lauderdale.

Anyone can enter to win one of the four custom Hard Rock bikes. Grand prize finalists will be drawn at each rally and win a trip to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in December at the Fort Lauderdale Sun Run. Already with 75,000 in attendance. There, one person will win his choice of one of the four Hard Rock bikes. Other prizes will be from sponsors.

The HARD ROCK ROADHOUSE will feature entertainment, the builders and their Hard Rock bikes, the Hard Rock gals, Hawaiin Tropic models, Gibson Guitars and more!

–Carrie

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QUOTE OF THE DAY — “Life isn’t like a box of chocolates…it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.”

–from Christ T

NAG, NAG, NAG– An attorney arrived home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client named William Wright who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the state governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed.

As soon as he got through the door his wife started on about, “What time of night do you call this? Where the hell have you been?” and so on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a very large whisky and headed off to the bathroom for a long hot soak — pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks.

While he was in the bath the phone rang, which the wife answered to be told that her husband’s client had been granted his stay of execution after all.

Realizing what a day he must have had, she relented a little and went upstairs to give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door she was greeted by the sight of her husband’s rear view as he bent naked over the bath cleaning the tub.

“They’re not hanging Wright tonight,” she said, at which the attorney whirled round and screamed hysterically, “For crying out loud woman, don’t you ever stop?”

BE CAREFUL OF CELL PHONES–Identity Thief. Keep a watch out for people standing near you at retailstores, restaurants, grocery stores, etc., that have a cellphone in hand.

With the new camera cell phones, they can take a pictureof your credit card, which gives them your name, number,and expiration date. Identification theft is one of the fastest growingscams today, and this is just another example of the means that arebeing used.

THE STEALTH REPORT–The big news here in Charlotte is the Panthers are in the Super Bowl! Here at H.D. of Charlotte we are doing two Sportster gas tanks commemorating the victory in the NFC championship game. One is for #77 Kris Jenkins, all pro defensive tackle for the Panthers and the other is to keep here at the shop after it is autographed by all the Panthers. Kris rides a black 2002 Road King Classic and is a supporter of the Run For Breath. He always comes up big for us in the way of door prizes. Congratulations to Kris and all the Panthers! By the way, Mr. Bandit the home of the Panthers is Charlotte NORTH CAROLINA! NOT South Carolina!

The Meanest and I are trying to get a web site up and running for the Run For Breath. Well I should say mostly The Meanest is working on it. She is the “high tech” one of the two of us. It should be up soon with pictures from past runs and info on the upcoming run this year, so stay tuned.

This weekend, Saturday (Jan. 24th) the Easyriders bike show comes to Charlotte. The Charlotte show is #2 in attendance second only to the three day Invitational Easyriders show in Columbus Ohio! Charlotte is a hot bed for motorcycles and local builders. They all turn out for this show for local bragging rites. There is a lot of bike building talent in and around the Charlotte area as well as some top notch painters. So if you are in the Charlotte area stop by. The show will be held downtown at the Charlotte Convention Center, 501 South College St., 704-339-6000. I will have a full report with photos next week.

Hey it is only five weeks until Daytona Bike Wee and that means spring is right around the corner, so get those winter projects buttoned up, it will be riding season soon! Hang in there winter will be history soon!

Later!
–Mike(THE STEALTH)

BIKERNET DESERT ADVICE–A modern day cowboy had spent many days crossing the Californiadesert without water. His horse had already died of thirst. He wascrawling through the sand, certain that he had breathed his last,when all of a sudden, he saw an object sticking out of the sandseveral yards ahead of him.

He crawled up to the object, pulled it out of the sand, anddiscovered what looked to be an old briefcase. He opened it and outpopped a genie. But this was no ordinary genie. She was wearing anInternal Revenue Service, ID badge and a dull gray dress. There wasa calculator sticking out of her pocketbook, and she also had apencil tucked behind one ear.

“Well, cowboy”, said the genie. “You know how I work, you have three wishes.”

“I’m not falling for this,” says the cowboy. “I’m not going totrust an IRS auditor genie.”

“What do you have to lose, she says, You’ve got notransportation, and it looks like you’re a goner anyway.”

The cowboy thought about this for a minute, and decided that thegenie was right.

“OK,” he ventured, “I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of foodand drink.”

***POOF***

The cowboy found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen. And he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

“OK, cowpoke, what’s your second wish,” says the genie. “My second wish is that I become rich beyond my wildest dreams.”

***POOF***

The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with raregold coins and precious gems.

“OK, cowpuncher, says the genie, You have just one more wish. Bettermake it a good one!”

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says, “I wish that nomatter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.”

***POOF***

He is turned into a tampon.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: If the government offers you anything,there’s going to be a string attached.

–Rogue

NEW FROM MR. LUCKY, DELTA 88– “Wanted to keep it retro/vintage looking, but using up to datebrakes etc………hope you like it!” said Ed Martin. We will feature this bike next week and commemorate the “Rebirth” of Jammer Cycle Parts.

“Mr Lucky’s”

Here’s a new product from Mr. Lucky’s story. Rigid saddlebags.

COLLIER DEPUTY THREW GIRLFRIENDS’S DRUG PIPES IN LAKE– NAPLES, Fla. – A sheriff’s deputy has been put on probation for throwing his girlfriend’s drug pipes in a lake and telling her to flush a bag of what he thought was marijuana down a toilet.

Collier County sheriff’s Cpl. Stan Cochran, 24, acknowledged taking the pipes from his live-in girlfriend and driving them to a lake in his marked patrol car.

Cochran told investigators he knew he should have notified his supervisors.

“I was going through a situation that I was trying to clear up and I was hoping to avoid any publicity and embarrassment at work,” he said. “I was hoping to resolve it without having to get other people involved.”

Cochran was put on six month’s probation, given a letter of counseling and will have to forgo a $400 raise for not following procedures, according to an internal affairs report.

Sheriff Don Hunter said Cochran, who joined the agency in 1999, could have been punished more severely had he been more experienced and if he had been on duty at the time.

“His behavior on duty is more strictly controlled,” he said. “Off-duty behavior is much harder.”

–from Rogue

MORE TECHS COMING TO BIKERNET–Watch for them. Here’s a close up shot of an early transmission breather screw from Frank Kaisler. Don’t forget it.

WEAPONS CHARGE– A member of the Hells Angels motorcycle club is being charged with illegal possession of deadly firearms and accused of stockpiling an arsenal of weapons inside his Douglaston, Queens home.

Queens District Attorney Richard Brown says 39-year-old Gregory Heine is a past president of the club’s New York City Chapter. Brown says there were 41 weapons — including rifles, shot guns and handguns in the house.

Heine faces up to seven years in prison if convicted of the weapons possession charge.

Brown says the officers found four rifles, two shot guns, 16 revolvers and 19 semi-automatic and automatic pistols. Brown says Heine was returned to Queens last night for arraignment on the weapons charges. He’s being held on $100,000 bail.

BIKERNET WINNERS–I know we snooze some times, I know we could be a little more pro-active on picking winners. But sometimes we really are so busy; we don?t have time for sex. I mean if you had to choose, sex, pick winners, sex, I choose sex, but this week I’ll pick a couple of winners as well. Here they are:

RON VANDEGRIFT from HOUSTON, TX
Suggestion: MAIL DROP FOR US BIKERS THAT WANT TO LEAVE OUR BITCHY WIVES AND HIT THE OPEN ROAD. SOMETHING WHERE WE COULD COMMUNICATE WITH OUR FRIENDS THROUGH BIKERNET AND NOT BE TRACED AS TO OUR PRESENT LOCATION.
Wanted: THE NERVE TO LEAVE MY BITCHY WIFE AND NOT HAVE HER TAKE EVERYTHING THAT I OWN.

I hope this guys wife doesn?t read Bikernet! He?s gonna get a new Bikernet.com hat not even available in the Gulch yet. He?ll be the first.

And for the Cantina winner:

Ernest (BIG E) from Weldon, NC
Wanted: Bikernet t shirt 3x

VL TECH DISCUSSION– The article ( http://www.bikernet.com/garage/PageViewer.asp?PageID=102 ) is very nice, good pics and text. However, with your permission, a few comments?

The bike shown on Page 1 is not a VL, it’s a 1936 RL 45″ (year based on the tank decal). The right side chain is a dead give-away; also the front frame tube, motor top end, trans cover, brake linkage and front wheel also very different.There is also a mistake on how the conversion was done (which I also sent to Shamrock–see rebuttal below).

The VL motor’s front mount is at the same height (vs. rear mount) as the 1937-48 UL and 1936-47 OHV motors, but .375″ higher than the 1948-* OHV motors. The only factory install (1948 U) had a spacer (24795-48) under the front mount.This means that when a 1948-* motor is installed in a 1930-47 frame, the front mounts will make contact when there is still 3/8″ of space under the rear mount. The usual method of bolting down the rear mount first to determine alignment does not work here.

The reason they had a misalignment with the front mount in the project is that when they bolted the rear down first, it angled the motor down in the rear, so both mounts were off. A 3/8″ spacer under the rear mount would have cured the misalignment but also raised the motor a bit.

–Jeff Diamond

REBUTTAL FROM RICH–“I modify the VL frames the way Randy Smith showed me how to in his shop (Custom Cycle Engineering), on Canal St., in Long Beach, over 35 years ago.

With his method of fitting a Big Twin into a VL frame, I have never had an engine/drivetrain alignment problem, nor have I had any frame breakage problems. This is the way Randy put them in, and it works.

As far as raising the rear mount 3/8″ to “cure” the misalignment problem on the front motor mount – while this MIGHT work in the case of a UL or a Knuckle, because of the additional height of the Pan, and Shovel engines over the Flattie/Knuck, there is barely enough room to trim the casting as it is to fit them in. Raising them an additional 3/8″ would render the seatpost/backbone forging in that?area?DANGEROUSLY thin to accomplish this, and allow clearance for the engine. Also, the area would be too narrow to allow welder access, to weld the seam on the other side of the gusset plates. This 3/8″ spacer here is not an option For a Pan, or a Shovel.

Also, some VL front engine pad forgings?are so narrow and short,?that sometimes it is impossible to line the existing holes in the mount up with the front case ears of a Pan or a Shovel, and do not allow redrilling the forging with any material surrounding the holes left. Hence, the reason for adding the 1/8″ thick plate to the mount there, and bolting the rear of the engine up first, then redrilling the front mounting holes, using the ears for a pattern. Adding material to the end, or side of the existing forging alone, to allow you enough “meat” to drill your front mounting holes is also not an option here either. ”

You’ll have to take the heat for the bike picture, I didn’t include this in the article, you guys added it.

Regards, Rich
Visit our website:
http://www.shamrockfabrication.com

WOW! I’VE GOT TO BLAZE–Need to load and roll. Forgive me, if this news is out of wack. I’ll report on the show in the Sunday Post.

Ride Forever,
–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

OVERFLOW CROWD EXPECTED IN FLANDREAU COURTROOM FOR SENTENCING–Anyone hoping to witness former U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow’s sentencing today in Flandreau needs to arrive early and be ready to wait.

The hearing has generated national interest rivaling the congressman’s manslaughter trial in December, when several sessions drew capacity crowds and left wishful spectators standing outside of court.

Today, the Moody County Courthouse doors will open at 8 a.m. The third-floor courtroom will open at 10 a.m.The hearing begins at 1:30 p.m.

Most of the seating in the 91-seat courtroom will not be first-come, first-served, said court administrator Patricia Garcia Duggan. She is reserving 40 seats for the families of Janklow and motorcyclist Randy Scott. Another 30 seats will be for members of the news media, who are asked to meet at noon in the Farmers Room at the courthouse.

That will leave 25 seats for the general public, who will get priority based on when they arrive – if they are willing to wait.

–By Jon Walkerjwalker@argusleader.com

–from Rogue

NEW GOVERNOR ANNOUNCES OFFICIAL CALIFORNIA LANGUAGE–The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, The Terminator’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Austro-English” (or, perhaps even better, “Austrionics”.)

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.

–from Chris T.

Old shots from Bob T.

DON’T MISS THE NEW CANTINA BABES–Join today, get a signed copy of Sam “Chopper” Orwell and a chance to see some of the hottest babes on the planet.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– One more week and we are still knee deep in the new place. I’m saying this since more or less all my time is spent there, so I really don’t know what the fuck is going on in the outside world. So, if the news for the past weeks (and this one) sounds kind of weak, you know the reason. I guess to top that off we are franticly trying to finish the choppers for Daytona, so it’s a fuckin’ full plate.

Speaking of Daytona, we will be there. We have got together with a few friends and managed to secure a pretty cool spot. Indian Larry, Billy Lane, Chica, Hank Young, Fabricator Kevin, Bikerspot and us will be there. The spot is right across the street from the Wreck at the end of Main Street heading towards Beach street (the bridge) so if you feel like it, come meet us there. The Horse will have their headquarters located at the Last resort, and the chopper show will take place the last Saturday of Bike Week, the guest judge will be Chopper Dave.

We are planning on having a nice setup for those of you who are interested in coming to Puerto Rico next December for our event, we are trying to take some time to film a cool video here, wish us luck. Also, the international launch of BikerSpot magazine for the Spanish speaking bikers will happen. There will be plenty magazines to give away, so come on by; for sure it will be a good time.I guess I will be talking more about this as the time comes, also we will be surrounded by the Discovery participants and the two new competitors, yeap, Chica and Hank Young.

By the way, these guys are going to battle it out in Feb. at the Louisville Easyriders show, so get there and vote for what you think is the best.

Anyway, I’m out of here, got to get back and work some more…..

Jose Bikernet Caribbean report

SHOOTING SUSPECT–Baltimore County police are one step closer to finding the reported motorcycle club member who allegedly shot two men at an Edgemere night club on Jan. 2.

Last Thursday, police issued a warrant for Essex resident Michael James Moore, 42, charging him with two counts of attempted first-degree murder, two counts of first-degree assault and one count of using a handgun in a crime of violence, according to a police press release.

Police connected Moore, whose last known address was in the 1000 block of N. Marlyn Avenue, with the shooting of Charles Zepp, 23, of Eldersburg and Timothy McDowell, 38, of Frederick after an argument at Club Tattle Tails in the 2100 block of Sparrows Point Road.

Moore is a Hells Angels member who police believe became angry with the two men in part because they belong to a rival club, police said.

Zepp, who was shot in the chest, and McDowell, who was shot in the right hip while chasing Moore and a second man, were identified by witnesses as wearing the colors of the Pagans motorcycle club, police said.

Both men were flown to the Maryland Shock Trauma Center, according to police spokesman Ofc. Shawn Vinson.

–from Rogue

SCOTT ATTRONEY NOTED FOR HIGH-PROFILE CASES–Scott attorney noted for high-profile casesMeshbesher’s fame goes beyond legal circles.Ronald Meshbesher is known in Minnesota for helping murder defendants stay out of prison and for helping the public understand difficult legal questions.Now he’s the lawyer suing Bill Janklow for money in a civil lawsuit filed by the family of motorcyclist Randy Scott.

“He’s one of the most well-prepared lawyers you would ever run across, a very smart person, extremely hard-working and respected by all of the judges he’s appeared before,” said Rob Leighton, a lawyer in St. Paul.

Meshbesher, 70, is the lead name in the Minneapolis firm Meshbesher & Spence, which is known for representing families such as the Scotts in cases involving personal injury and wrongful death. The top two items on the firm’s Web site tell of settlements of $11 million and $35 million.

–by Jon Walker,jwalker@argusleader.com

–from Rogue

Continued On Page 3

Hold on. This news may be rough around the edges. We’ve been working around the clock to finish the Shrunken FXR for the Roadster Show in Pomona this weekend. Of course we didn’t make it. The seat won’t be completed in time. We got close, so we’re taking the 1928 Shovelhead. I’ve got to get moving though. I’m burnin’ daylight. So let’s hit the news:

JANKLOW RESIGNATION IN EFFECT–Today, Bill Janklow leaves the political stage he has dominated for almost three decades. Janklow, who won four terms as governor, has resigned from the House, just a year after becoming South Dakota’s congressman. The resignation takes effect today.

On Thursday, a judge will sentence the 64-year-old Janklow on convictions of second-degree manslaughter, reckless driving, speeding and running a stop sign for an August crash that killed a motorcyclist in Moody County.

The Republican’s friends and foes say the crash and convictions have tarnished an otherwise remarkable legacy. Former Governor Harvey Wollman, a Democrat who preceded Janklow’s first term, says people need to remember that Janklow gave most of his adult life to public service. He says people have said some unfair things about Janklow.

–Rogue

How a wife should welcome you home–from Ramon

DEAL OF THE WEEK–Clean, stock sought after 1990 FXR for 11,500 obo. It’s in Harbor City, California at Larry Settle’s Shop (310) 326-3466.

WRIGHT BROTHERS RACING WELCOMES THEIR NEWEST PARTNER–Here is Cody Wright, the newest member of Wright Brothers Racing showingoff his latest creation in progress. Cody hasn’t named it yet (someobscure shop in New York already has the Cody Chopper), but Dad Rob andGrandpop Bruce Wright are sure that will be worked out by the Springcompletion date. It’s too doggone snowy in Delaware this year for muchriding.

–Scrapper

1914 8-VALVE INDIAN RACER–This bike was built Fred Lange, “What say we race..??”, Fred said over the phone. Watch for the full feature on Bikernet Next week and info on how you could own a classic creation like this.

Fred Lange
Santa Maria Ca.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON REPORTS RECORD FOURTH QUARTERAND 18th CONSECUTIVE RECORD YEAR– Company sets goal of 400,000 motorcycles for 2007.Harley-Davidson, Inc. (NYSE: HDI) today announced record revenue and earnings for its fourth quarter and year ended December 31, 2003. Revenue for the quarter was $1.16 billion compared with $1.03 billion in the year-ago quarter, a 12.8 percent increase. Net income for the quarter was $182.4 million compared to $150.9 million, an increase of 20.9 percent over the year ago quarter. Fourth quarter diluted earnings per share (EPS) was 60 cents, a 22.4 percent increase compared with last year?s 49 cents.

Revenue for the full year was $4.62 billion, compared with $4.09 billion in 2002, a 13.0 percent increase. Net income for the year was $760.9 million, a 31.1 percent increase versus last year?s $580.2 million, while diluted EPS for the full year was $2.50, a 31.6 percent increase compared with $1.90 in 2002.

“This is the 18th consecutive year that Harley-Davidson has achieved records for both revenue and net income,” said Jeffrey L. Bleustein, chairman and chief executive officer of Harley-Davidson, Inc. “We had a phenomenal year full of memorable once-in-a-lifetime experiences surrounding our 100th Anniversary. Introducing the Harley-Davidson brand to hundreds of thousands of potential customers has undoubtedly sparked the dream of ownership and created new excitement for our products.””As we begin our 101st year, we expect to grow the business further with our proven ability to deliver a continuous stream of exciting new motorcycles, related products and services. We have set a new goal for the Company to be able to satisfy a yearly demand of 400,000 Harley-Davidson motorcycles in 2007. By offering innovative products and services, and by driving productivity gains in all facets of our business, we are confident that we can deliver an earnings growth rate in the mid-teens for the foreseeable future,” said Bleustein.

Motorcycles and Related Products Segment: Fourth Quarter Results

Revenue from Harley-Davidson( motorcycles was $945.3 million, an increase of $125.0 million or 15.2 percent over the same period last year. Shipments of Harley-Davidson motorcycles totaled 77,056 units, an increase of 11,086 units or 16.8 percent over last year?s fourth quarter. The Company?s shipment target remains 317,000 Harley-Davidson motorcycles for 2004.Revenue from Parts and Accessories (P&A), which consists of Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories, totaled $141.0 million, an increase of $11.1 million, or 8.5 percent over the year-ago quarter. Revenue from General Merchandise, which consists of MotorClothes( apparel and collectibles, totaled $50.7 million, a decrease of $4.1 million or 7.4 percent. Excluding revenue from 100th Anniversary products in 2002?s fourth quarter, the P&A growth rate would have been 20.3 percent over last year?s fourth quarter and the General Merchandise growth rate would have been 20.0 percent over the same period.

Gross margin was 35.9 percent of revenue, down slightly from the prior year?s 36.1 percent. Gross margin was negatively impacted by a higher proportion of Sportster( motorcycle shipments and higher manufacturing costs, but partially offset by favorable foreign currency exchange. Fourth quarter operating margin improved to 21.5 percent in 2003 from 20.7 percent in 2002.

Motorcycle Retail Sales Data

Retail sales of Harley-Davidson( motorcycles for the year 2003 grew 8.8 percent in the U.S., 6.7 percent in Europe, and 9.0 percent in Japan compared to 2002. Based on the information currently available, Harley-Davidson?s full year market share for the 651cc and up segment is expected to grow in all of the Company?s major markets. ?Given the economic climate during the past year, we are pleased with our retail growth,” said Bleustein.

“Although our U.S. dealer network experienced a modest decline in motorcycle sales in the fourth quarter as compared to last year?s fourth quarter, we believe it is difficult to draw meaningful conclusions from this comparison. The urgency to buy a 100th Anniversary motorcycle prior to the celebrations, along with an unusually late shipment plan for ’04 motorcycles, created two very different selling environments. We are confident that 2004 will be another strong year for Harley-Davidson due to current dealer confidence, momentum from the 100th Anniversary and improving economic indicators,” Bleustein added.

FAMOUS LAND SHARK FOR SALE–Hey Homez appreciate you helping me out.Hope all is going well with your FXR assy.Here is the lowdown on da Shark……

Landshark for sale.Tom Foster is selling his beloved Landshark to complete other projects.The shark has been featured on “American Thunder” and Road and Tracks “The Ride of your life” Television shows. It was also Featured and coverbike with Hot Rod Bikes magazine,with upcoming features in 2 international magazines. Multi show winninghandcrafted masterpiece. Full “PIMP” status guaranteed upon purchase. Offered at $50,000.

Call 323-428-5830
Tom Foster

BRAKE WARNING–Below is the email from Chuck regarding the brakes. Apparently it is on 2000 and newer models. Please forward this on to all riders you know. We are trying to gather as much information as possible to find out what the real deal is. I’m sure that there are many people out there that have had the same experience as we did, but didn’t realise what was truly happening.

Thanks for your interest and helping to keep us all safe.

–Julie

Recently while on a ride through Colorado, the brakes failed on my FLTR. It’s a ’00, with the four piston calipers. We got the bike to the Green River dealership in Wyoming, where the mechanic bled the brakes said that was all he could do, and that it is a real common problem with Harleys when they are ridden in the mountains. The mechanic stated that he must have worked on fifty bikes so far that month with the same problem. (This was the week following Sturgis when everyone would be riding home) The brakes still weren’t 100%, so I called the dealer in Ft. Collins, and the service writer there told me the exact same thing, that it is a real common problem, and they fix bikes all the time for that reason. We discovered our problem (riding two up on vacation) when we were attempting to slow down for a corner, ended up blowing through oncoming traffic lanes, and in the gravel at the top of a steep embankment. Disconcerting to say the least.

What I am requesting is that if ANYONE has had brake problems with the four piston calipers, that they shoot me an e-mail to BLKGLIDE@aol.com, and give me a little background on what happened, and what was done to fix it, if anything. H-D says they know nothing of the problem, what two dealers told says otherwise.Thanks for any help anyone can give me on this.

–Chuck

Official response: They told me that if the brakes were getting soft and spongy, I needed to take the time to pump the brake pedal a few times, and everything would be OK.

TOOL SHOP LORE– HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC’S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake drum you’re trying to get the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you’ve been searching for the last 15 minutes

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, Ouc….

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front fender.

–from Gene Koch

Continued On Page 2

Bill Bish, the rider behind the Coast To Coast Biker News.

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS
Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists

EPA SETS EMISSIONS STANDARDS FOR STREET BIKES On December 23, 2003 the Environmental Protection Agency announced the first new emission standards for highway motorcycles in 25 years, but certain concessions from the federal regulatory agency indicate that three years of opposition and resistance from America’s motorcycle rights network has succeeded in producing a more palatable ruling.

By 2010, motorcycle manufacturers will be required to slash tailpipe emissions by more than 80 percent by using improved technologies such as secondary air injection, electronic fuel injection systems, liquid cooling and catalytic converters, though none of those technologies are mandated in the new regulations.

These reductions will be phased in over a two-tier implementation plan that will require manufacturers of on-highway motorcycles, small scooters and mopeds to meet strict new emissions limits by 2006, and even more stringent levels set for 2010.

New motorcycles over 280 cc’s sold in the United States beginning in 2006 must emit no more than 1.4 grams per kilometer of hydrocarbons (HC) and nitrogen oxides (NOx), and levels of those pollutants must be cut to .8 g/km by 2010. Previously, motorcycles were allowed up to 5.0 grams per kilometer traveled of HC, and NOx was unregulated. Allowable carbon monoxide levels will remain unchanged at 12 g/km. Manufacturers will be allowed to “average” the emissions levels of the bikes they produce, so cleaner running models can make up for more pollutant counterparts.

Sections of the rule dealing with customization were most impacted by riders’ efforts, and the EPA contends that the new regulations will not have any adverse affect on the aftermarket industry. Nothing in the new regulations will change what owners may do legally to customize their motorcycles, they claim, though it’s important to note that it’s already a violation of the Clean Air Act to tamper with pollution control equipment.

Also, small volume manufacturers who build fewer than 3,000 motorcycles a year, and who have fewer than 500 employees, are exempted from the first-tier pollution limits until 2008, and will not be required to meet the second-tier standards at all. There is also a one-time exemption for the owner/builder of a kit bike.

The new federal regulations are based largely on emissions standards already taking effect in California for the 2004 model year, except on a two-year delay basis, though California’s regulations do not allow for these exemptions.

All in all, motorcycling activists can be proud of their efforts to protect their rights as consumers and the liberties of our lifestyle. But rest assured that the fight ain’t over, and the EPA intends to revisit the street bike regs in 2006.

EMISSIONS TESTING IN TENNESSEE MAY INCLUDE MOTORCYCLES Based on the fact that the federal EPA will begin enforcing strict new emissions regulations on motorcycle manufacturers in two years, Knox County officials might include motorcycles in a mandatory emissions testing law likely to be enacted this year in Tennessee.?

The current standard for hydrocarbon emissions from motorcycles allow about 90 times more emissions than the standard for passenger cars, according to the EPA, and when new truck and car standards take effect next year, new SUVs will be meeting hydrocarbon emission targets that are about 95 percent cleaner than the typical motorcycle.

Lynne Liddington, Knox County’s air quality management director, said officials haven’t previously considered testing motorcycles, but “We can always put it on the table.”

Knox and 10 surrounding counties are under the regulatory gun to take steps to clean up East Tennessee’s smoggy skies by March 1, 2005 or face sanctions that could include the loss of federal highway funds and stricter pollution controls on industry. The EPA has put the area on notice that East Tennessee skies likely will be out of compliance with new ozone standards that take effect in April. Ground-level ozone, a colorless gas created by combustion, is the primary component of smog. Knox County officials want emissions testing implemented statewide.

“Whether motorcycles are included or not,” Liddington said, “the biggest pollution sources – coal-fired power plants and tractor trailers – won’t be covered under any testing program.”

“It’s obvious that the new EPA regulations are already being factored into new government regulations at the state level,” points out Steve Lundwall, State Director of CMT/ABATE of Tennessee and a member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) Board of Directors. “When bikes which comprise an extremely small percentage of registered vehicles and an even smaller percentage of the pollution are singled out and it is stated that the biggest polluters won’t be included in the testing program, it becomes very clear that we are vulnerable no matter how insignificant the initial threat seems.”

According to the Tennessee Department of Safety, there are 6,772 motorcycles registered in Knox County, which is a little less than 2 percent of all registered vehicles, though that number triples every June when the Honda Hoot attracts up to 20,000 motorcyclists to Knoxville from across the country during the height of smog season.

“Here in Tennessee we will fight to protect motorcycle businesses, tourism, ourselves and our liberties,” concludes Lundwall.

“ORGAN DONOR” BILL AMENDED, KILLED IN COMMITTEE AB 1200 started out as a nice, “clean” helmet modification bill, allowing motorcyclists 18 and older the option of wearing a helmet in California. Then, just one week before the measure was to be heard in the Assembly Transportation Committee, the bill was amended to include mandatory organ donation as a requirement to ride free.

The bill’s author, Assemblyman John Longville (D-San Bernardino) amendedthe bill without consulting the bill’s sponsor, ABATE of California, in a misguided effort to find a “creative solution” to help the bill gain the votes needed to pass.?

Obviously, this was one solution that didn’t sit well with the riding community, and when the bill was heard in committee on January 12, in front of a room packed with motorcyclists from all over the Golden State, AB 1200 was further amended to remove the offensive amendment and any reference to organ donation. The original bill language was then voted on and the bill lost by 9 aye votes to 11 no votes.?

Hundreds of riders who rallied at the Capitol that day had hoped that a motorcycle-riding governor would aid their cause, and some carried signs asking Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to “Terminate the Helmet Law.”

Despite the setback, Jean Hughes, legislative director of ABATE, told the Sacramento Bee newspaper, “We’ll be back.”

HELMET LAWS DETER TOURISM When concerned out of state riders began writing to the Nebraska Tourism Division seeking their support in shelving the state’s mandatory helmet law (LB303), the director agreed that more riders would travel through their state if helmets were optional.

“You are not alone,” wrote Dan Curran, Director of the Nebraska Division of Travel and Tourism, in response to a letter from Richard Hall from ABATE of California, “there are a number of people that want the law modified or removed. In my job, I can’t lobby for or against the issue. But, you are correct, we would see a positive economic impact during the annual Sturgis migration with a more liberal helmet law.”

BIKERS WANT TO PARADE TOPLESS On December 15, the Massachusetts House of Representatives engrossed H 206, a bill to exempt motorcyclists participating in public parades from the helmet law.

“House, No. 206 now goes over to the Senate for its action,” said Paul Cote, legislative director for the MMA of Massachusetts. “Maybe when the MMA storms the statehouse on Thursday, May 20, 2004 – we’ll have a ‘parade!’ I like that idea!”

“GET YOUR ROCKS OFF”? OUR ROADS!” ABATE of Pennsylvania has sponsored a bill to require trucks to cover their loads to prevent spills and road hazards. Representative Stan Saylor introduced HB 880 to increase the fines for violations and further defines what the violations are.

“Those from the trucking industry still maintain that enforcement is the problem and that the current law is sufficient,” said John Mullendore, Legislative Coordinator for ABATE and a member of the NCOM Board of Directors. However, as ABATE’s lobbyist Charles Umbenhauer points out, enforcement wasn’t a problem when it came to helmets so he isn’t buying that argument.

“We’re not looking to drive a wedge between bikers and truckers,” said Mullendore, adding that they hope to come to an agreement between the two groups. “Some of the biggest violators are weekend movers in pickups and people hauling mulch and the like. These too are included in the law.”

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH: A Taiwanese motorcycle mechanic has confessed to police that he feasted on the body parts of an insurance agent after killing her. The discovery of the missing woman’s scooter near a Taipei bike shop led police to suspect the 39-year-old wrench, and when police searched the area around his workshop, they discovered Ms. Shih Chin-chi’s dismembered body in a residential water tank.

Police said the suspect strangled his 28-year-old victim with a rope before chopping her body into eight pieces on Dec 7. Parts of her body, including flesh and skin in the chest area, were missing, reported the Taipei Times.

According to statements given by Kwang Teh-chiang, an apprentice at the cycle shop, the suspect had gotten into an argument with the victim over some insurance matters at the shop and he killed her in his presence. Police told reporters that Chen had searched her body for valuables after the murder and handed Kwang NT$400 ($20US), presumably to buy him off.

Police also suspect the mechanic of being involved in the disappearance of another female insurance agent 12 years ago.

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “In the rush to cure all the ills to which humans are heir, liberty is too often an innocent bystander, and an accidental casualty.”

Barry Goldwater, former Arizona senator and presidential candidate (1909-98)

NCOM CONVENTION REMINDER The National Coalition of Motorcyclists will hold their 19th annual NCOM Convention from May 6 to 8, 2004, at the Biltmore Hotel, 401 South Meridian Avenue, in Oklahoma City, OK, hosted by ABATE of Oklahoma and the Oklahoma Confederation of Clubs. For room reservations, call (800) 522-6620 and mention NCOM for the special room rate of $70.64, including tax, for up to four folks per room. Convention registration is $75.00 and includes the Silver Spoke Awards Banquet on Saturday night, or $40.00 without the banquet. For additional information, or to pre-register, contact NCOM at (800) 525-5355.

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET HISTORY LESSON–Do you know what happened in 1850? California became a state. Back then, the state had no electricity, no money, there were gun fights in the middle of the streets, and almost everyone spoke Spanish. So it was just like California today. Only back then the women had real tits.

–from Ramon

ROGUE BAD COP INVESTIGATION–Court papers filed reporting 104 sex acts committed by cops Pennsylvania – A motion filed late yesterday in federal court reveals shocking new details about 104 sordid sex acts committed by Pennsylvania state troopers, including three former majors, one of whom raped and forcibly performed oral sex on a female subordinate.

The documents also, for the first time, identify the majors, give lurid details of their offenses and describe the lenient punishments the state police imposed on them as well as 19 other troopers.

Of those 104 cases from 1995 to 2001, allegations in 24 were sustained; attorney Thomas Sheridan wrote in the 59-page motion.Of the 24 sustained cases, only two troopers were dismissed, the motion says.

“The most outrageous cases involved the three majors, the rank below deputy commissioner,” Sheridan said.”All three should have been fired for their crimes. Instead, two were allowed to retire with full pension and benefits while a third was ‘counseled’.”He included the internal affairs reports of the three majors, as well as 44 other cases, as exhibits for his motion.

Sheridan’s civil suit also names former State Police Commissioner Paul Evanko, Deputy Commissioner Thomas Coury and Lt. Col. Hawthorne Conley as defendants.Maj. William Dixon not only raped an employee and forcibly performed oral sex on her but he grabbed the breasts and buttocks of another employee and the breasts and buttocks of a third, the documents show.

A deputy commissioner, who was not identified, gave Woodring a “constructive counseling session” after an investigation sustained the allegations, the documents show. Woodring later retired.

In September 2000, a state police clerk accused her former lover, Maj. Roger Peacock, of stalking and harassing her.

She said he even once tried to run her off the road, the motion said.Peacock was allowed to retire with full pension and benefits.The three majors could not be reached for comment last night.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–Rogue

MO’ BAD COPS–Fired cop pleads guilty to sex charges Oregon – A former police officer accused of coercing women into providing sexual favors while he worked the graveyard shift has pleaded guilty to four felony charges.

Juan Francisco Lara, 29, faces a maximum sentence of 26 years at a hearing tentatively scheduled for Feb. 23, his original trial date. He remained free on bail.

Lane County District Attorney Doug Harcleroad announced the conviction late Tuesday in written statement. Harcleroad wrote that he made no deals regarding the length of Lara’s sentence.Lara pleaded guilty to three counts of official misconduct and one count of public indecency, Harcleroad said.

Lara, who has a wife and two young sons, was arrested Aug. 5 and pleaded innocent at his arraignment. He was fired from the police department on Sept. 10.

Police have said he met the women during his 2 1/2 years as a patrol officer. He met two of them while responding to calls for service at their respective homes. He later returned and engaged in sex acts while on duty and in uniform, investigators have said.

He met two other women as they left a downtown bar at closing time.

The indictment charged that Lara coerced a 40-year-old Eugene woman into performing oral sex last April. It said he threatened to use his position as a police officer to affect her negatively if she did not participate.

The indictment also refers to two separate occasions between June 26 and July 4 when Lara allegedly forced a 41-year-old woman to engage in oral sex against her will.

He was also accused of engaging in oral sex in a public place sometime between Aug. 5, 2001, and Dec. 31, 2002.

Magana, 40, is being held at the Lane County Jail on $4.2 million bail. He has pleaded innocent to allegations that he sexually assaulted or raped 15 different women during his time as a patrol officer.

Magana, who has since been fired from the department, faces life in prison if convicted of all counts.

His trial is scheduled for next month.

–from Rogue

BIKERNET MIDDLE EAST RELATIONS– We have been informed that the Arabs do not like to be called “towel heads”.

The item they wear on their heads is actually a small sheet.Effective immediately, please call them “little sheet heads.”

Thank you for your cooperation.

–from Helen Wolfe

HARLEY PROJECT–My project is moving along? This is about where I am going to stop for awhile till more funds. Next step, sell all Shovel parts and frame to get stretched frame and going with EVO motor.

–arturo gomez
bigtuttie@yahoo.com

NEW WHITEHORSE PRESS MANUAL–We are pleased to announce publication of Mark Zimmerman’s new book, THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE: TIPS AND TECHNIQUES TO KEEP YOUR MOTORCYCLE IN TOP CONDITION, 256 pages, 500 illus, $29.95. Copies are now in stock and if you’d like to order one for yourself or a friend, click onwww.whitehorsepress.com

This authoritative guide helps all riders master basic motorcycle maintenance skills and keep their favorite two-wheel machines running smoothly and safely. Included are simpler tasks such as oil and coolant changes, bleeding brakes, changing drive chains, replacing fork seals and balancing tires, as well as more complex projects like properly adjusting today’s complex suspensions, synchronizing carburetors, and replacing a clutch.

The book is illustrated on every page with color photos and easy-to-follow diagrams that show you step-by-step how to perform each task. Whether you want to save time and money by performing maintenance on your bike, or you simply want to become a well-informed consumer when you take your bike to the dealer for service, you are sure to find valuable help in this book.

You might also want to check out our popular and affordable MOTORCYCLE LIFT for those mid-winter wrenching projects. This is one of the best we’ve seen in price and quality! $189.95

We also feature an ingenious new workshop light called the LOC-LITE which points a brilliant LED bulb right where you want it. Check that out too while you’re on our web site. $35.00

RARE, UNPUBLISHED SADAM PHOTOS–Bikernet has a couple of connections imbedded inside Iraq. Here’s some unpublished shots after Sadam’s arrest. Why didn’t they rat pack the sonuvabitch?

–T.C.

BIKERNET TRAVEL ADVICE–A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, “This is your Captain. We’re on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay.”

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, “Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Tampa?”

“Well,” says the skipper, “first I’m gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap…. then I’m gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner….. then I’m gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time, all night.”

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess.

Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane.She’s so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: “No need to hurry, dear.He’s gotta take a shit first.”

–From Bubblehead

BIKERNET NASA CONNECTION–Still not released to the public, Bikernet reporter sent in this rare shot from the surface of Mars.

NEW ARIZONA MAGAZINE–THUNDER RIDERS– Give me a call at either 602-971-2912. I plan of publishing fiction, tech articles and event coverage. The first issue of Thunder Riders is out. I could use the help.

–Clay Douglas

ROGUE DAYTONA REPORTS– Was that Angel dust I snorted? Ha Ha. Shit it has been so long I can?t remember.

(See Daytona Bike Week Report on the home page.) Those were some good days and I am happy to say that I am still having good days though not exactly the same way.

Glad to see that you got the Jack Daniels part right and we do need to do a bottle one of these days.

It is a little early for items on Bike Week in Daytona Beach to appear in local publications. There are other news items though that can give an insight to were things are going.

A main one is growing Massive Re-Development in Daytona Beach proper. It will affect some aspects of Bike Week and slowly continue to move events more to the mainland and surrounding areas. It’s been creeping on us for some time.

I will send material near the end of Jan. and of course the early part of Feb. Any news will head your way.

I am sure that we will have plenty of good material heading into Bike Week and steady material during the event.

–Rogue

QUOTE OF THE WEEK–“How many times do you have to be hit on the head before you find out who’s hitting you?” Harry Truman

–from Nick Roberts

DUCKIN’ OUT–That’s it for the news. I need to hit the list bad. I’m burnin’ daylight.

Last week a reader wrote about his run to Bolivia. “Just back from Bolivia,” Jim Buck reported. “It was a wild ride all around. You’ve got to love a country with few laws and less enforcement. A few scorpions visited the bano’ in the casa of me wife’s familia. I caught ’em, put ’em on ice and brought em back with me. The three are now floating in an alcohol bath waiting to be molded, mounted and sprayed with a fixative.” See example below.

Later Jim sent us a couple of images from his trip, which I had to pass on this week. If you experience a wild ride don’t hesitate to write it up and send it to Bandit@bikernet.com. Send along low resolution jpg images, no larger that 500 pixels tall or wide.

If your story is feature worthy, we’ll edit, code the images and run it as a separate feature. If not you’ll see it in the news. Each feature story gets a year subscription to Bandit’s Cantina, but it better be damn good.

Check your list, then relax goddamnit and ride.

–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

FLOW BENCH CONFESSION– I guilty. I haven’t done a update on my Flowbench for Bikernet.com. I worked on it, just haven’t had a digital camera to use to let you in on the progress. Excuses are like assholes everbodys got one. Just don’t fire me Boss!!

Anyway in the meantime checkout www.tractorsport.com/flowbench. This is a forum on Dyno’s and flowbenches. It covers one like I’m building (orifice plate) & laminar flow/pitot tube type. This website has been a great help to me. There are many mistakes in the original Popular Hot Rodding ’93 flowbench plans. A guy from MSD made the one I’m building that P.H.R. featured. Also check out www.audietech.com. They have plans and gizmos for flow benches.

One thing I gotta say, building flowbench is whole lotta work. Need to think ahead. Try not to paint yourself in a freaking corner. So be advised.

This e-mail might help till I get my shit in one sock and get on the ball.

–Pablo

Just barely–Bandit.

DYNA WIDE TIRE KIT FROM BIG BOAR–Dyna 250 Fat Tire $2,495.00.Our new Dyna 250 Fat Tire kit allows you to convert your current stock Dyna to a Super Fat 250MM Tire!

BIKERNET SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS–Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to F.B.I. headquarters where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted men.

One of the youngsters pointed to the picture on top and asked if it really was the photo of Osama Bin Laden.

“Yes,” said the agent. “The bureau wants him very badly.”

So Little Johnny asked, “Why the f–k didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

ROGUE FILES ON BAD COPS–Personally I do not see why I was sent this from Bad Cop. I think it’s pretty funny.

Cop suspended for e-mailing his balls to ex-wife Indiana – An Indiana police officer is suspended after sending a photo of his genitals to his ex-wife through his department’s e-mail.

Officer Stan Brown, a seven-year member of the Pendleton Police Department, sent the picture last month.

Authorities say someone alerted them through a complaint.The officer admitted to sending the email.

Brown’s serving 30 days of unpaid suspension and will receive a six-month pay reduction and a written reprimand.

Funny Cop: Meet me in Daytona and I will Buy You A Box Of Donuts

–Rogue

BANDIT’S BEDROLLS AVAILABLE–They’re ready to ship with shoulder straps, the latest fasteners and new installation instructions we shot the other day. Check out the bedroll strapped to the King. Prices are reduced for 2004. Check the Gulch below to order.

BIKERNET BOYS NIGHT OUT– Frank is sitting in his local bar with his buddies, sharing a beer and bragging about his sex life.Frank says, I have great sex with my wife. She’s very vocal, she can really rattle the windows, and most of it really turns me on. I love it when she screams, ‘Harder!’I love it when she screams, ‘Faster!’ “

“Man, you lucky dog!” Says his one buddy. “But come on and tell the truth, isn’t there sometimes a problem with your sex life?”

“The only problem I have…” Frank said dejectedly, “Is when she screams, ….’Deeper!'”

–from Rogue

BIKERNET BEDSIDE MANNER–A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma forseveral months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. Oneday, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat byhim, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been withme all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to supportme. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were bymy side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my healthstarted failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“Whatdear?”she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

“I think you’re bad luck, get away from me.

–from Dr. Hamster

BIKERNET MOST WANTED LIST–This is Tom Mallory. Tom was a trusted person in several different M/C agendas, such as ABATE of California and a club in Ventura, California. With ABATE he served as the Treasurer of Local #13 and was the clubhouse manager. It seems that one day he wanted to leave Ventura and, in doing so, stole money from ABATE Local #13’s accounts. He stole money from the General Fund, Toy Run account, as well as the Emergency Fund set up to assist Local #13’s members in a time of need. He then cleaned out the clubhouse funds.

No one knows exactly how much money he has gotten away with, as he managed to destroy all the bank records for the last year, however, initial reports list Local #13’s loss at close to $3,000. He was known to drive a white Ford Ranger with a blue stripe at the bottom. He may also have his bike-a Kawasaki Vulcan with windscreen-on the truck. He was known to visit the Edgewater Hotel and Casino in Laughlin, Nevada, often. As you can see, his arms are heavily tattooed as are both his legs. The most noticeable leg tattoo will be his “Rockabilly” cat.Tom has also used the names: Thomas Mallery; Tomas O’Mallory and Thomas O’Mallery. He has brown hair and blue eyes. He’s 6-foot and, at one time, weighed 245 pounds. His weight has drastically changed as he has a drug problem. When he was last seen he weighed approx. 180 pounds. His D.O.B. is 03-23-61 and his CDL is C2264640. He wears glasses most of the time, both indoors and out and is required to wear them while driving.

Tom plays the guitar and has been know to eek out a living playing in bands at local bars. Although his last known address was in Ventura, he has a father in the San Luis Obispo/Paso Robles area in California. He has made mention of traveling to NY and FL as well.

Tom has been know to attend many M/C related events (Runs, Bike Shows, Tattoo Shows) and many different styles of musical events. He had in his possession over 100 guitars and may be trying to pawn them or place them in a music store that sells equipment on consignment.

Please, if you see him, or have any information on him, give Swede a call at 805-650-6502 or contact Scott McCool, President of ABATE Local #13 805-657-2454.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Man I had a friend come over and he was telling me he read the interview that Bandit did on me a few years back. Spooky….most of the things that I said have happened. Yeah call me fucking Nostradamus or whatever; it’s still weird how things have changed so much in such a short time. On the same line, and as you all know, I’m still up to my ears in the new shop. While being bombarded by e-mails from Hawaii on the Discovery gig with the Ness family and the huge waves that hit this week, I could care less for the Build Off cause they will both win no matter what. Meanwhile two brilliant builders, Hank Young and Chica will have to fight it out, leaving one out, which is a shame since they are both our good friends and they would be very interesting on a second round. Not to hit on the Ness camp, but either way one of his bikes will continue to the next round. Although I admire Arlen a lot, his newer bikes are not my style, but I would have enjoyed a lot more the mega master builders versus the small shop kinda deal. Still I would love to be able to go back to Hawaii even for a couple days and God knows I need the fucking rest! I’m glad for the guys in Hawaii for the exposure, but still wondering when the fuck is Discovery going to show his nose down the Caribbean!

The shop is well on the side of being done. We are already planning the party, not an opening, but a customer/friends appreciation kinda deal. One thing I’m sure is that there will be total mayhem. We are even working on a half pipe for the area; I guess kids will be kids. The graffiti is done and since Daytona is around the corner I’m changing my Bob the builder cap and doing some delayed work on the bikes, there will be a cool surprise for Daytona, if I finish on time….

Since not all is work we have managed to take some time off, skate at bit or even do burnouts on little jap bikes right inside the shop. I guess that’s were the idea for the half pipe started.One more thing, any of the people we buy stuff from please get our new address, it’s:

Caribbean Custom Cycles
2 Acacia street Bldg 1
Monterey Industrial Park
San Juan, PR 00920

Please take note, although we will forward our mail, packages and such from UPS and Fed Ex need the new address.

I have lot’s of news but most can’t be told, you know Discovery building stuff, plans for Daytona and the rampant bunch of envious dicks that try to make our lives harder……I just got some photos from one of my web site fans and it’s worth checking it out, www.prbikeweekend.com”>http:// www.prbikeweekend.com if you can see thru the smoke, I mean.

Well that’s about it for now, there’s still many things to do before we can go and have fun. I still am very tempted to split Hawaiian style, I know Femme Nu is waiting.

See ya next week……Caccia la Volpe…if you can.

Jose Caribbean Bikernet report, news , gripes and bitchin’

Continued On Page 3

I’m a nut, as you might have guessed. I keep a goddamn list going constantly. The list contains freelance article deadlines, parts needed to finish the FXR, a handful of phone numbers and a list of articles for the site. Generally, for a hell-bent-for-leather bastard like myself, the list keeps me on top of the day’s activities, but not today. On top of the goddamn list was the Bikernet News, then an FXR tip, a feature on the first Muscle Steed bike sporting a 300 Avon and a historic piece on an old riding partner Indian John.

Once in awhile the list ain’t worth shit. Best laid plans fall apart when the phone rings, the door clatters and the computer crashes. I haven’t done shit. We better get started before I’m in more trouble:

KILLER OIL TANK– The best of form & function for a true custom oil tank. Highly polished stainless steel & tig welded with battery box (6 7/8 x 3 7/16 x 6 1/8 to accept any Harley battery used on Softail ’97-up). For Harley ’94-up, custom rigid and after-market Softail frames. Contains just under 3 quarts of oil with center fill (oil cap included). Simply beautiful.

Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
http://www.cyrilhuze.com

DEAL OF THE WEEK–Clean, stock 1990 FXR for 11,500 obo. It’s in Harbor City, California at Larry Settle’s Shop (310) 326-3466.

Poem Based on events that happened on 1/9/04 at The Blue Bird Lounge.

Cheap Shot

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mother Fuckin’
Cheap Shot
Trouble Maker
Start’n Shit
Over What?

Somethin Your
Drunk Daddy
Said He Overhead
You Didn’t Fall
Far From The Tree
You Got Some Nerve

Throw’n Punches
Over Words
That Were Never Said
One Day Maybe
You Will Learn
To Drop Your Fists
Use You Head

Next Time I
Might Be Pack’n
More Then This
Knife On My Hip

Be Proud Of
Your “Knock Out”
Only I Know The
Real Score
Your Insecure
Needed To Prove
Your Big ‘N’ Bad
Trying To Impress
A Bitter And Drunk Man

So Take You “Win”
Hold Onto It Tight
This Biker Has
Nothing To Prove
No Need To Fight

Respect Is Not Earned
By A Quick Fist
Respects Reserved
For The Righteous

One Day You Will
Come Off Your Trip
Realise What I Say
Is True And Respect It

Until Then Just
Stay Outta My Way
I Gave Up Fighting
With Fists Long Ago
But I Won’t Be Nobody’s
Punchin’ Bag

— by Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World

WORKIN’ ON YOUR BIKE DOESN’T NEED TO BE STOOP LABOR– With the Kendon Stand-Up Bike Lift you won’t spend a month’s wages to get your bike up to a comfortable working height. The Stand-Up Bike Lift is designed for ease of use and economical storage. It is a true one-person lift; the built-in wheel chock holds the bike upright while secured to the lift. The single point controls allow the bike to be raised up with one hand. When not in use the lift rolls on castors and stores in a vertical position and requires less than three square feet of floor space.

The Kendon Stand-Up Bike Lift features a hydraulic mechanism; you don’t need a compressed air supply or electricity to use it. The lift is fabricated from high quality round steel tubing. It features all welded construction with a black powder coated finish.

The Kendon Stand-Up Lift will raise your bike up to a 32-inch working height. It has a 1,000 lb. capacity. The lift is covered by a one-year limited warranty.

650627 Kendon Stand-Up Bike Lift $749.95

http://www.customchrome.com/>www.customchrome.com

Or call 800-729-3332 for the dealer nearest you.

DEAR ABBY–My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.

Sincerely, Bitchy in Boston

HAIRPIN SEAT SPRING– For Solo Seats,Part # 180145.A classic look, this cool “Hairpin” style spring is an alternative to the standard style coil spring found under most solo seats. Sold each.

Price: 14.95 Each

THE NICK SOAP BOX–Here’s an idea that we could all lobby Harley to take up. Since they are an American Motorcycle Manufacturer why not start to make all their clothes and other items in the USA too? I don’t think a pricing argument would hold water given the premium prices that H-D gets, not just for their bikes, for all it’s other products.

Think about it. The company asks for, and receives, our loyalty; it then sells us apparel made in Pakistan, Mexico, India, Indonesia, etc. They are afforded the privilege of making an American machine on American soil and selling the vast majority of their bikes right here in America. They operate in the safest possible part of the world thanks in no small part to the protection afforded by the American Armed Forces which is supported by the American citizen’s taxes.

They benefit in innumerable ways from their status as an American Icon. There are HOG chapters all over the world whose members ride Harleys because they love the idea of owning a small piece the American dream. It is not right that H-D should manufacture anything overseas unless it is being sold over there. Don’t argue that they are simply being good businessmen when they do this because there is more to being a citizen than just waving the flag and saying how proud you are to be an American. Supporting their customers and their fellow citizens is certainly one big way for H-D to show it’s patriotism.

Every one of us has a responsibility to our fellow American citizens to purchase products made in the USA because the money spent flows indirectly to our fellow Americans. There are several apparel makers in the USA that sell their Made in the USA products for the same price that H-D gets for their foreign made goods. It isn’t like you walk into a Harley dealer expecting to get a great deal on a pair of jeans anyway. H-D jeans are made in Mexico by people that make a pittance for their labor. Why should they be even more expensive than a pair of jeans made in America? The only answer is that some people at H-D think more about the bottom line, and maximizing their profit, than they do about supporting the Americans who buy their product.

I’m not here to bang on Harley, after all their T-shirts are Made in America at R.K Stratman in Missouri, so it is possible to buy at least some apparel in a Harley Store that is benefitting our fellow American citizens. All I’m trying to say is that it’s time for Harley to expand on their vision for the next 100 years and bring all their business back to America.

–Nick Roberts

For All Your High Performance Lubrication Supplies.http://syntheticoiltech.com/oil/nicksperformance/

Nick’s Performance Accessories
Independent Amsoil Dealer ZO# 1124190
9608 Tiverton Way
Louisville, Kentucky,40242
phone: 502-548-3023

S&C SPORTSTER–this is a ’68 ….built to play on.The sporty is in a Honda 500 frame. 2-inch knobby on the front, 18-inch knobby on the rear. Extended swingarm and mono shock. 1968 900 Sporty engine. Better photos coming.

–Skoot, from S&C Customs

THE STEALTH REPORT–I was off work today (my birthday) and the weather man gave me some good weather, sunny and 60 degrees! I went out for a ride and while I was riding I got to thinking about what influenced me to be a biker and to get into bikes. Some say you are born a biker. In a lot ways I agree with that, and if that is true what was the first thing that happened to let you know you were going to be a biker?

I would like to relate two of my stories: The first took place when I was in the 5th grade. I was 11 years old and it was summer time. I grew up in a small town in Virginia, where everyone knows everyone. A one percenter had been killed, I won’t go into details, but he belonged to one of THE BIG FOUR clubs. He had served in the armed forces in Vietnam. As it happens, my little hometown was the home of a national cemetery. Everyone was in a panic! The town would be destroyed, people beaten or killed, all the things Hollywood portrayed. The day of the funeral the townspeople were telling everyone to hide from the streets. My brothers and I were smack in the middle of main street (the whole 10 blocks) when we heard what sounded like rumbling thunder. The procession rolled through, and I remember watching citizens peeped out of the store front windows. There were fifty bikes. I remember waving at one of the bikers and he just kind of nodded his head at me. I remember everything, the power, the bikes and the brothers. The funeral went off without a hitch. No trouble at all! The club came to say their good-byes to a fallen brother and that was it! Everyone breathed a sigh of relief except me, I was sorry they didn’t stay longer!

Next, I remember the 10th grade. As soon as school let out, I headed for the local Harley dealer. Two guys ran it, and at the most they kept a total of five new bikes in stock! Unlike today’s so called super-stores, the little shop was packed with heart and soul. I rolled in everyday, and they would let me sit on a bike. They never ran me off, maybe they could sense I was serious about Harleys! There was a butterscotch and a black Sportster, a blue and a black Super Glide and a black dresser. I always picked the black Sportster to sit on. I remember gazing into that black tank. The paint looked a foot deep. I saw myself looking back in the reflection and said, “One day I am going to own one of these!”

I remember telling my Dad how much they cost, $2500.00 for a kick start Sportster and $2,700.00 for electric start model. Yeah, the decimal point is in the right place! I remember my Dad’s response, “Boy you would have to be out of your mind to pay that for a motorcycle!”

Later in life my Dad and I joked about that story. No matter what was said, nothing detered me from being a biker. I was determined to do it. I am sure many riders think back on old times. For me, maybe it was the birthday thing?

Later!
–Mike(THE STEALTH)

MOVING NOTICE- CARIBBEAN CUSTOM CYCLES–The new address is:Caribbean Custom Cycles
#2 Acacia street Bldg 1
Monterey Industrial park
San Juan PR 00920
The number will be the same, plus a new one 787.770-0633

— Jose De Miguel

BIKERNET DUCK CLUB–A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she layher pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listenedto the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadlyandsaid,”I’m so sorry, Cuddles has passed away.”

The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. The duckis dead,” he replied.

“How can you be so sure,” she protested. “Imean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything.He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returneda few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’sowner looked on in amazement, the dog stoodon his hind legs, put his front paws onthe examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He thenlooked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few momentslater with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and alsosniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat backon its haunches, shook its head, meowedsoftly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman andsaid, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely,100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys andproduced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, stillin shock, took the bill. “$150!”, she cried,”$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!”

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word for it, the billwould have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it wentup considerably!”

–from Helen Wolfe

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