THE GUNNY INVESTIGATION–TRAINING AND TOUGHER LAWS

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com.

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

2003 has seen several large and small successes and a few failures in the motorcycle world. The thing that worries me more than anything is our safety on the roadways.

We are the little guys out there with the light machines compared to the cages. We are the ones who suffer when some fool in a car runs over us, yet so many of us, and the safetycrats too, consistently refuse to admit that if we spend a little money for some training, it might make us better riders.

We spend thousands of dollars on our machines and thousands more for paint and chrome but refuse to insure those expenditures with formal rider training. Why? Are we really dumb, or is it the macho thing to do? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people say things like “I’ve been ridin’ 20 years, and I don’t need no one to tell me how to ride.”

Nobody who has taken a rider ed course will say those words. I hear “Wow, have I been doin’ it all wrong!” Or, “I didn’t realize how much I really didn’t know!” Do yourself a favor and take a rider ed course this winter, if for no other reason, than to try to prove the Gunny wrong. You might be surprised, and it could save your life. It’s nice to know the best ways (legal ones), to avoid a cage. I’ll stop my preaching now. Learnin’ don’t make you a wuss.

Let’s start the new year trying to stay alive and not bury so many of our brothers and sisters in 2004.

Gunny. Let’s preach about Motorcycle Right-Of-Way efforts. We can learn and cagers can be told not to hit bikers.–Bandit

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NEWSBIT’S ‘N’ PIECES

PANAMA CITY, Fla: Timothy Pilgreen of Texarkana, Ark., was charged with assaulting a law enforcement officer he allegedly scuffled with as he tried to flee, on top of the two counts of murder and four counts of attempted murder for driving the stolen pick-up into a group of “outlaw bikers” from Bay City Michigan. He killed two after having argued with them earlier. It looks like he will at least get a life sentence out of it. He may really get some “justice” after he is found out behind bars. I don’t need to elaborate on that.

Pilgreen apologized, and said he would ask for the death penalty because of that: He said he didn’t want to face retribution in prison, when interviewed by The News Herald of Panama City.

FLANDREAU, S.D.: I gotta tell ya this guy Rep. Bill Janklow needs to feel the teeth of the law, which as you probably now know, he will. Janklow was convicted of Manslaughter for killing a biker while speeding. He tried to claim he was passing just to avoid a speeding ticket, and speeding is part of the case against him. Wow! It came out that Janklow told investigators he was accelerating to pass another vehicle at an intersection before that deadly collision with the biker.

I can’t say I’m sorry he was convicted. The trauma to his family must be unreal, to know that one of their own is on his way to prison for being selfish and a liar. Justice is done folks. I would bet he’d slide because of who he was and his money. A terrible waste. Some of this information comes to us from The Sons of Liberty Riders. Thanx, guys!

MYRTLE BEACH, Fla: Jay Jarman of Bikers Blvd. in Raleigh, NC was killed by a hit and run driver during the May Myrtle Beach Bike Week 2003. The driver fled the scene and later turned himself in. He has not been prosecuted yet.

Take a look at Jay Jarman’s memorial website, at www.justiceforjay.com and sign his guest book. I have heard that it gives his family some comfort. Along with raising awareness of this situation. This is one way fellow bikers can support a fallen brother. Here again is senseless loss of life. We need stronger laws on the books for this sort of thing. The people need to face serious consequences and pay for negligent homicide. Make no mistake, this is MURDER on our roadways. It’s time we put a stop to it with severe penalties.

SAFETY ALERT! I mentioned this last month. METZELER HAS RECALLED MOTORCYCLE TIRES. The tire is: METZELER Model : SPORTEC M-1 P Build Dates : JAN 26, 2003 – FEB 08, 2003. If you wear Metzler tires on your scoot and have any doubt about this get to your tire dealer NOW.

DON’T ride on dangerous rubber. Metzeler will replace their tires with no charge to you.

This is the first time NHTSA has done anything worthwhile, in my mind, about motorcycle safety.

RUSSIA: NO YA’ CAN’T KISS YUR SWEETIE IN PUBLIC. It’s a proposed new Moscow ordinance. Now I can understand passing a law against whizzing in the street but outlaw a liplock on yer squeeze? Come on.

HANOI, VIET NAM: From the Jakarta (Indonesia) Post comes this tidbit. Like a lot of places in the Far east the Motorcycle Taxi is a very popular beast, as well as inexpensive. Besides, they scoot through traffic with aplomb. In Indonesia they call them “Ojek.” Hanoi residents call them “Semoy.” No matter what the name they are a valuable way to get around town. Time to recognize what the rest of the world already knows: Motorcycles, and their “Semoy” stepchildren are the cheapest, quickest ways through the big cities.

MEXICO: So Fernando pulled to the side of the road, while on his way from the US to Mexico City, because he smelled something burning. He discovered his Camaro was on fire, so he promptly disconnected the trailer he was pulling that contained his motorcycle. Isn’t that typical of us all? The guy saves his scoot and lets a rig burn that probably cost more than the scooter. Hell I’da done the same thing.

GUNNY AGAIN: If you’re a new SACK reader, you oughta know that the Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) attorneys all across the country ride and take very good care of us in the scooter community. God forbid you get in an accident, but if you do, or have other legal needs, call your nearest AIM attorney at 1-800-ON-A-BIKE, or look him up at www.ON-A-BIKE.com, and he will advise you of the best course to take.

We have AIM criminal attorneys now too, if you need it. Oh, and on that website you can look up all my old Gunny’s Sack columns, going back a few years, too! Lots of other info, too, for you web-heads.

Happy holidays and we’ll see ya on the road somewhere next year.

REGIONAL CONVENTION: One small reminder, especially for you e-mailers who will get this SACK in time: Don’t forget the West Coast Regional NCOM convention, to be held January 10th-12th at the Holiday Inn in Sacramento, CA. Call the AIM office at: 1-800-531-2424 for the best information. Rooms are real cheap at $79.00 per night double or single. Call for reservations and ask for the NCOM rate. There will be seminars on the Patriot Act and many other timely subjects that affect us all. E-mail me if you wanna catch up with the Gunny there. I’m always at AIMGunny@aol.com.

Keep the round side on the bottom
–Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff

BIKERNET HOLIDAY NEWS–PRESENTS, HISTORY, BROTHERS GET PAID AND WIDE TIRE KITS

Continued From Page 3

ANOTHER BANDIT SIGHTING–Sin, My sources have found Bandit again, passed out at Bikernet Headquaters West.

Damn the Tullamore! Leaves all the work for you to do..

XX OO Scoot

SPEED FREAKS WILL CONTINUE TO RULE THE MOTORSPORTS EMPIRE–Saturday And Sunday With Sirius Satellite Radio Through 2004.

Hollywood, California (December 15, 2003) – With over 80 affiliates in their radio stable for their award winning Sunday night show, SpeedFreaks have cleared the way to bring their top shelf ‘tude to Sirius Satellites’ Sirius Sports Action Stream 123 through 2004. The relationship began earlier this year in July as SpeedFreaks’ Kenny Sargent and Statt Mann Caruthers ponied-up to host Sirius’ NASCAR Pre-Race show, Oval Track. Through much success, they were then invited to be the initial headliners for the daily show, Victory Lane.

THE BIKERNET TRAVEL CHANNEL–A Hawaiian woodpecker and a California woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Hawaiian woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The California woodpecker challenged him and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Hawaii woodpecker was in awe.

The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely un-peckable. The Hawaiian woodpeckerexpressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

After flying to California, the Hawaiian woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no problem.

The two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the California woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the California tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state?

After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home

–from Chris T.

Redneck shot from Rogue.

ROGUE ROAD RAGE ITEM–Bad Cop: Road Rage Cop charged Illinois – A commander with the New Lenox Police Department was charged with aggravated assault after allegedly pointing his gun at a female motorist and her husband during a road rage incident on the Dan Ryan Expressway Sunday.

State police spokesman Lincoln Hamton said Cmdr. Thomas Klier, 44, was driving a 1999 Ford Explorer south on the Dan Ryan, near 75h Street, when he and the other driver almost collided while trying to merge into the same lane. The two had “an exchange of words” and pulled onto the shoulder of the expressway, where they continued arguing.

During the argument, Klier allegedly pulled out a gun and threatened the female driver, who was in a Ford Expedition with her husband.

Klier was arrested later that day, after state police got a phone call about the alleged incident.

Klier was released on bond after being charged with aggravated assault. Police said he was off duty at the time of the incident, and no alcohol was believed to be involved.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–Rogue

BIG BOAR PRODUCT MAKES WIDE TIRE KITS–Hey there’s a company that makes wide tire kits for Touring Models, FXRs and Dynas. Hell, if you can ship your bike out they’ll install it. Check their site.

CANADIAN STREET GANG VIOLENCE INCREASE–Police organizations are scrambling in Montreal to get control of the increasing street crime.

Five police organizations in Montreal have created a squadron dedicated to fighting street gangs. About thirty investigators will be assigned to the sqaudron, named Sans Frontires (Without Borders).

The five organizations involved are the Montreal, Laval and Longueuil police forces, the provincial police and the RCMP. Quebec municipal police may also join the squadron to deal with that city’s street gang activity.

Street gang activity has increased recently after large numbers of outlaw motorcycle club members were imprisoned. The number of gang-related murders has increased along with other street gang related crime.

Normaly, criminal activity is lowest in the area of a motorcycle clubs headquarters as the clubs normaly police the streets themselves.

It is unclear when Sans Frontires will begin operations. The Minister for public Safety, Jacques Chagnon, has yet to announce an official date.

–from Rogue

COPS CLASH WITH BIKERS–The bikers who met for drinks in Prince George’s Generator bar during the annual motorcycle drag races last summer were markedly well-behaved.The actions of police were another matter.

In a decision last week, Judge Randy Walker harshly criticized the “unnecessary, excessive, gratuitous and unprofessional” behaviour of RCMP officers who arrested two visiting Hells Angels prospects June 20.

“In my view, this constitutes a kind of wild-west mentality that this community does not need,” said Walker, tossing out the charges against Mission-area bikers Lee Wiscombe and Jon Charles Tenenbein.

Wiscombe was pepper-sprayed at point-blank range while lying face down in handcuffs with an officer’s boot on his head.

Tenenbein, whom the judge ruled was wrongfully arrested for pestering police, was slammed into a wall and pepper-sprayed.

The court decision describes the tension in the packed bar shortly before the altercation between the bikers and three inexperienced, burly police officers.

–from Rogue

NEW PRODUCT FROM JOKER–Introducing another unique lighting idea from Joker Machine – an easy approach for a side mounted license assembly which uses your existing rear footpeg mounts for attachment!

All Billet construction like our other assemblies!Features super bright white L.E.D.’s in a compact light housing.

Entire unit pivots up or down which gives you the choice of running a Horizontal or Vertical License look on your bike!

You may also rotate the unit to your desired angle by adjusting the foot peg mount on the bike’s frame.Package includes Left(on unit)and Right foot pegs.

Pegs are available in Ball Mill or Rubber Insert versions which match our forward controls.Must use in conjunction with a separate taillight located elsewhere.

JUDGE BRISKMAN GRANTS MOTION TO PAY AMERICAN QUANTUM CYCLE EMPLOYEES– On December 17, 2004 Rogue, Sal, Denny, Barbara, Melissa and Don were in Federal Bankruptcy Court in Orlando Florida to hear the motion to pay past American Quantum Cycle Employees money owed them when the company went bankrupt.

Judge Briskman approved the motion and ordered the monies paid. The trustee will now have some papers signed and will be sending out checks. By Federal Law they will pay money owed up to $4300.00.

They will take Taxes out of the amount owed and will send out an IRS 1040 form so that you can claim it on your taxes and possibly get a refund.

The trustee said they would try to get the checks out as soon as possible but did not know if that would be before Christmas or after but it would definitely be before the end of December.

It has been a long time coming but We Are Going To Get Our Money!

If You Have Moved Since Working At Quantum Make Sure The Court Has Your Correct Mailing Address. If your name was not on the list of those being paid I suggest you write a letter to Judge Briskman and request a Hearing or a report on why not.

In my opinion the Trustee should have sent ALL Past Employees the proper forms to fill out or even filed on behalf of All the Employees himself. It is unthinkable that those being owed money would not want it or be entitled to it.

–Rogue

BIKERNET HISTORY LESSON–In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom.One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly:

“Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like youto pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued “Before you talk to me about my student,it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going tosay. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what youare about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and ….”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not.

Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you areabout to tell me about my student something good?”

“No, on the contrary …”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, butyou’re not certain it’strue. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left:the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student goingto be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true norgood nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.

–from Joan C.

CHRISTMAS OFFERS FROM SEGAL FINE ART–Don’t miss the Special offers From Segal Fine Arts, representatives of finest Harley related art work on the planet–http://www.segalfineart.com/sfa-msp.html. If you don’t like their stuff try our gulch for Chris Kallas and Eric Herrmann master pieces.

IT’S A GODDAMN WRAP–I’ve got to wrap gifts, take the chrome in for the Shrunken FXR, ship out the Powder coating, finish deadlines or jump on the Road King and fly to Mexico.

I’ll find a whorehouse, little Mari Cruz and a fifth of tequila. You may not hear from me until after the first of the year.

Stay calm,
–Bandit

BIKERNET HOLIDAY NEWS–CRAZY COPS, HOLIDAY TRIBUTES AND CARIBBEAN WHINNING

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET MILITARY DEPARTMENT– An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S.Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies. The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English.

He then asked: “Why is it that we have to speak English in these Conferences rather than you speak French?”

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: “Maybe it’s because we arranged it so you did not have to speak German.”

–from Jay Hodge

Bill Bish author and freedom fighter.

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS–

SENATOR CAMPBELL EXPRESSES CONCERNS TO NHTSA — U.S. Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado, a longtime motorcyclist and champion of bikers’ rights, has sent a letter to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration expressing concern over NHTSA’s recent actions in regards to motorcycling issues.

In particular, Campbell’s December 10 letter is critical of the federal agency’s attempt to promote helmet laws through the United Nations, and the rewarding of a contract to complete a study of “Characteristics of Motorcycle Operators” which was improperly awarded six months prior to a public comment period requesting input on the study.

Campbell is one of several lawmakers who serve on the National Coalition of Motorcyclists Legislative Task Force (NCOM-LTF), and he has always stepped up to bat on important issues affecting America’s motorcycle riders.

BIKERS CHALLENGE CANADA’S “ANTI-GANG” LAW– Lawyers representing two Hells Angels MC members charged with extortion want Canada’s new “anti-gang” legislation struck from the Criminal Code. The law violates the Charter of Rights because it is too vague, defense lawyer Paul Burnstein told the Toronto Sun on November 29. He said this is the first constitutional challenge of the 2002 legislation.

Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists

For the full Coast To Coast news stories check the Bikernet Rights Department.

THE FRANK KAISLER PAPERS–I was just cruising through the “Your Shot” letters and read the one about the 4-speed transmission blowing oil out of the rachet top.

You are correct about the vent screw on the right side of the top, the correct location for this vent screw is the screw hole closest to the dowel pin on the right side of the trans.

4-speeds are a little more sensitive to over-filling of oil, especially if the bike leans over farther on the kickstand than stock.

Oil level should be checked with the bike vertical.

–Frank Kaisler

THE GREAT DISCOVERY BIKER BUILD-OFF SHOW HAWAII —February 15th, 2004,Hardrock Cafe, Honolulu Hawaii.The bike build-off will challengeArlen Ness against his son and partner Cory Ness.There will also be a Bike show as well featuring localfavorites.

Any questions, please contactDeacon (808) 371-5170

For Travel arrangements, please contact:Joerline Tronolone,Carefree Tours & Travel
(808) 638-8550
(808) 330-2917 Cell
mailto:carefreetours@hawaii.rr.com

RHYMING MY RHYMES

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Do I Say?
Where Do I Start?
These Poetic Words
Are Special
They Come Straight
From This Biker’s Heart

I’ve Been Hurt
Way Too Much
In These Decades
Collective
Almost Thirty Years

I Have Nightmares
Of The Things
These Ancient Eyes
Have Seen
I Wouldn’t Wish
These Visions
On My Worst Enemy

Old Beyond My Years
I’ve Lived My Life
By A Forgotten Code
Diamonds Surround Me
I Can Pick And Choose

I’ll Stay Independent
I’ve Payed My Dues
This Biker Can
Not Be Bought Or Sold
This Biker You
Will Not Own

Love & Respect
Is Something You Earn
If You Give It
It’ll Be Returned

Talk Is Cheap
Actions Speak
Louder Then
Any And All Words

Some Say
I’m A Living Legend
Doing My Own Thing
In My Own TimeThat Don’t Concern Me
I’m Just Liven My Life
Rhyming My Rhymes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written By Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT- ALMOST–
Sorry no news, no report
Stop. Way too busy with the new place
Stop. Promise to make it up for next week
Stop. Is it fucking Christmas yet ?
Stop. I really don’t even know what day it is
Stop. Just in case happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all our readers and friends.
Stop.This is getting silly

Stop. I guess the telegraph was done way too many years ago
Stop. Insanity is the proper name, three days and a whole 5 thousand sq/ft demolished and already painting.
Stop. Send more paint, Iron beams and any materials, Brass pole for the shop more than welcome, strippers optional.
Stop. Neon signs, plaques and anything else welcome.
Roger, over ,out 10-4 and everything else.

Jose ? In The Land Of Kaos–

CHRISTMAS STEALTH REPORT–Since I will be on the road next week visiting my family and some old riding buddies up in Virginia, I thought I would send out my Christmas wishes this week. To all the readers of Bikernet, a very Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year. To Mr. Bandit and all the staff at Bikernet headquarters, I wish you a great Christmas and a prosperous New Year. May Bikernet continue to grow.

As I take time to reflect on the past year, it was pretty good for me and “THE MEANEST.” We went to bike week in Daytona, Las Vegas for the H-D dealer show and to the Custom Chrome dealer show near San Francisco. If we all take a few minutes to think about it, we all have something to be thankful for. It is not always measured in money. Your health, your family and the people who are closest to you and the freedom to go out and blister the pavement with your bike when ever you feel like it. That brings me to another point, take time this year to think of the ones fighting to preserve that freedom, we owe them a lot!

As the new year approaches there is a lot to look forward to. We will start the planning of the 6th Annual Run For Breath “IN MEMORY of JUSTIN PULLIN” by the end of January. I have heard rumors that Mr. Bandit already has an idea for the “best of show” trophy. It will be hard to top what he did last year, but I know he will pull it off! We have a couple of new ideas being kicked around for the event. Oh I almost forgot, “THE MEANEST” had to have one Christmas present early, a digital camera. It has been driving her nuts all week, but as soon as all the kinks are worked out, there will be a lot more pictures coming this way! Stay tuned to this site for future details!

Ride safe!
Merry Christmas!

–The Stealth

ROGUE REPORTS FROM THE STREETS–Bad Cop: Fired cop sentenced for rape of man in Kansas – A former Kansas City, Kan., police officer has been sentenced to more than six years in prison for sexually assaulting a man while on duty.

Brian Dupree, 37, pleaded no contest in August to aggravated sexual battery, aggravated assault and attempted aggravated criminal sodomy.

The Police Department fired Dupree, a six-year veteran, after he pleaded no contest to the charges.

Prosecutors said Dupree drove up in an unmarked police car, displayed a handgun and twice ordered the 21-year-old perform a sex act. He was refused. The incident lasted about 35 minutes.

The incident was recorded by outdoor surveillance cameras, prosecutors said.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–from Rogue

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET HOLIDAY NEWS– BAD COPS, NEW RULES IN SD, INDIAN RECALLS AND BANDIT SIGHTING

Continued From Page 1

PRO-STREET SLASH CUT–Bar Hoppers, Street Scorchers and just about any Harley rider looking to enhance the performance and appearance of his, or her, machine are going to be hard pressed to find an exhaust system that even comes close to these new PRO-STREET SLASH CUTS from Bassani.

Aggressive “Let’s-get-it-on” styling combined with superior exhaust flow characteristics put the latest from the Bassani works in a class all their own. Offered for Softail, Dyna and Sportster applications, Bassani PRO-STREET SLASH CUT pipes feature 16-gauge steel construction with stepped head pipes, rugged, show quality hard chrome finish, slant or straight cut tips and Bassani’s unique tunable/replaceable flow-through baffle system.

These latest offerings from Bassani retail for $359.00 and are available exclusively from North County Customs. Call 866-439-4287 or catch them on the Web at www.northcountycustoms.com.

INDIAN RECALLED THE 2002 INDIAN CHIEF–ON CERTAIN MOTORCYCLES, THE REAR BRAKE CALIPER COULD CONTACT THE ROTOR AS A RESULT OF A MISALIGNMENT OF THE CALIPER CARRIER.

THE REAR BRAKE CAN OVERHEAT AND FAIL, INCREASING THE RISK OF A CRASH.

DEALERS WILL INSPECT THE MOTORCYCLE TO ENSURE THAT THE REAR BRAKE CALIPER AND ROTOR ARE CORRECTLY POSITIONED. IF THEY ARE NOT, THE DEALER WILL REPLACE THE SWING ARM AND REAR BRAKE ASSEMBLY. OWNER NOTIFICATION BEGAN AUGUST 28, 2002. OWNERS WHO TAKE THEIR VEHICLES TO AN AUTHORIZED DEALER ON AN AGREED UPON SERVICE DATE AND DO NOT RECEIVE THE FREE REMEDY WITHIN A REASONABLE TIME SHOULD CONTACT INDIAN MOTORCYCLE AT 1-408-846-7228.

NHTSA CAMPAIGN ID Number: 02V246000.

Redneck shot from Rogue.

BIKERNET EMERGENCY MEDICAL RECOMMENDATIONS–Two Hillbillies from Kentucky walk into the local bar to wash the dustfromtheir throats and grab a beer. They stand at the bar, drinking a beer andtalking about current cattle prices. Suddenly a woman at a nearby table,who is eating a sandwich begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomesapparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks atherand says, “Kin ya swaller?”

The woman shakes her head no.

“Kin ya breathe?”, ask the hillbilly.

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress,yanks down her panties, and runs his tongue all over her butt cheeks in acircular motion. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm andthe obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to thebarand takes a drink from his beer.

His partner says, “Ya know, I’d heard of that there “Hind Lick” maneuver,but I ain’t never seen nobody do it.

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET DESPERADOS–Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first says, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.”

The second can’t stand to be bested. “Why that’s nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I’m still here today.”

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his cock.

–from A. Friedman

BANDIT SIGHTING–Sin,someone sent me a pic with a note enclosed, it says something about Bandit, Tullamore Dew, and motorcycles….Should I call in the search and rescue? Or just open another bottle of the sacred dew and let him sniff his way to it?

Scoot, cowpie county PA

ROGUE BAD COP REPORT–2 deputies fired over assult charges South Carolina – Two Greenville County Sheriff’s Office deputies were terminated Wednesday in connection with assault charges they face.

Former deputy David Jerry Hannon, 36, of Greer, was charged with two counts of pointing a firearm and assault and battery, according to an arrest warrant.

Former deputy Michael Christian McElroy, 28, of Greenville, was charged with criminal domestic violence, according to an arrest warrant.

The deputies were terminated and then arrested Wednesday in connection with the incidents, which did not occur while they were on duty, according to Master Deputy Michael Hildebrand, a sheriff’s spokesman.

Hannon and McElroy could not be reached Wednesday for comment.

Sheriff Steve Loftis said he can’t ever recall a day when two deputies were terminated on the same day.

“It’s an unfortunate situation,” Loftis said.

According to the incident report, Hannon is accused of repeatedly punching a man following a verbal altercation at a party on Pepperbush Court late Dec. 5 or early Dec. 6.

Hannon is accused of later pointing a shotgun at the man and his wife after they left the party and drove past the deputy’s house, according to the report.

The incident was investigated by the department’s Office of Professional Standards.

McElroy is accused of kicking and shoving his wife sometime Sept. 23 or 24, according to the warrant.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–from Rogue

SD HIGHWAY PATROL TO REVIEW TROOPER DESCRETION–In the wake of Congressman Bill Janklow’s manslaughter trial, the South Dakota Highway Patrol is reviewing the level of discretion troopers have when deciding whether or not to issue tickets in traffic stops. Some testimony in Janklow’s trial showed that troopers stopped Janklow for a speeding on a number of occasions but did not issue a ticket.

Colonel Daniel Mosteller says troopers do have some discretion as to whether to ticket, warn or even ignore a speeder while on patrol. He says the Highway Patrol evaluate that.

Janklow was convicted last week of second-degree manslaughter and three misdemeanors in the death of Randy Scott, a 55-year-old Minnesota motorcyclist. Shortly after his conviction, Janklow announced he would resign in January.

–from Rogue

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET HOLIDAY NEWS–GET DRUNK AND HIDE

Ah, the Thursday before Christmas. One stinking week to pull all your shit together. Seems impossible? It is, but don’t stress. Do what you can and know that if your friends are worth their salt, present or not, they’ll know you’re thinking of them (in one way or another).

So be careful, put the guns away, break out the firewood, whiskey and spend a warm evening with the woman you love. If ya can’t ride, kick back with a CCI catalog and ponder the impending riding season just a couple of months away. Let’s hit it:

Click to order Catalog!

BRAND NEW CUSTOM CHROME CATALOG RELEASED–

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MERRY CHRISTMAS, GODDAMNIT–Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all…

And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2004, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

–from Rogue

BIKERNET LEGAL ADVICE–Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his firstwitness to the stand — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approachedher and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams. I’ve known yousince you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr.Bradley since he was ayoungster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. Hecan’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt.”

BIKERNET BOOKEEPING ADVICE–A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has taken him for ten million bucks. This bookkeeper happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: “Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The attorney tells the Godfather: “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

That’s when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper’s temple, cocks it and says: “Ask him again!”

The attorney signs to the underling:”He’ll kill you for sure if you don’t tell him!”

The bookkeeper signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!”

The Godfather asks the attorney: “Well, what’d he say?”

The attorney replies: “He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET TRAVEL ADVICE–A bus full of really ugly people died in a wreck. As they were all standingin line in heaven, God decided to grant every one of them one wish forhaving had to endure a life of misery for being so unattractive.

The first person said, “I want to be beautiful,” so God made it happen.

The second person then said, “I want to be beautiful,” so God made ithappen again.

This continues all the way through the line, with each person wishing to bemade beautiful.

However, as this was going on God noticed that the man at the end of theline was laughing. Not only was he laughing, but as each person expressedtheir wish to be made beautiful, the man continued to laugh harder andharder, until he was laughing hysterically.

When the man’s turn finally came up, God asked him for his wish.

The man said, “Make ’em all ugly again.”

–from Richard

PERFORMANCE MACHINE GOES TELEVISION–Tune in to the Speed Channels, American Thunder this Tuesday night and every Tuesday night for the rest of December to follow the build up of the wildest custom bike Performance Machine has ever attempted.

We let the crew from American Thunder play voyeur in our super secret R&D Department and they have the scoop on some of the most innovative products PM has developed for 2004. You’ll have to see it to believe it as the PM build team scrambles against all odds and a brutal timeline to complete the bike for a Hot Bike Magazine cover shoot. Check it all out on American Thunder on the Speed Channel, Tuesday nights at 7:00 Pacific Time.

–David Zemla
Art Director
Performance Machine Inc.

PANHEAD IN THE NEWS WILL ROCK READER’S SHOWCASE– THANKS for featuring my Panhead on the Thursday news!! It was a great thrill to see my bike on the website…

I read your news flashes every chance I get, and I can’t wait to tell some of my ridin’ bros to look me up on your site!

I started reading Sam Orwell and it’s got me hooked.

It was too cool to see my bike on the same page as Indian Larry and Billy Lane. It made my day.

RIDE ON CHOPPERS 4 EVER.
Kevin Flynn from Niagara Falls

We’re going to take his classic Pan a step further. I sent it to CrazyHorse to be featured in the Reader’s Showcase department of Bikernet. You can feature your bike on Bikernet by slipping into the Reader’s Showcase area. Don’t miss it.

THE LUCKY DEVIL TEAM RETURNS–Lucky Devil Metal Works rose from the fiery depths nine months ago to begin its dominance on earth. The owners Kent Weeks & Eric Joly have established a reputation for building bikes that are unique in design and for their trick parts.

They both have well-established backgrounds in the motorcycling community having come from different aspects of the profession. It seems the adventure is about to become a family affair with Kent’s wife coming on board to handle the office duties and bringing along her years of experience working for two factory H-D stores in Houston.

As you enter the shop there is a pretty cool front display area large enough for a few bikes, the normal shop merchandise, a sitting area to kick back and relax with a cool beverage. The H-D cooler is stocked with a variety of items, one being their own Lucky Devil bottled water. Taken from the brow sweat of the thousands of little demons out back in the devils workshop filing, smoothing and grinding on the custom bikes.

Kent’s a master welder (for 12 years), and it’s his main passion. The motorcycling community is fortunate that he likes shaping sheet metal, too. Once we entered back stage area of the “Devils Workshop” Kent showed us a Softail, or at least that’s what it was when it entered the building. This is one long, low and lean bike. Check out that front grillwork.

The custom touches are all over this bike from the in-shop made rockers and axle spacers, to the two-piece front exhaust pipe for easy removal. The pipes run between the frame and engine and will will be connected to the heads with springs like drag bikes.

Ya gotta check out the Texas 3D metal work! There ain’t no bondo there boys, just some very impressive metal work. That’s all hand formed metal.

Lucky Devil Metal Works offers limited edition accessories. There are point covers, derby and chain inspection plates. They are currently working with Rick Fairless of Strokers in Dallas on additional designs.

They also manufacture a clean clutch cable bracket for converting to foot clutch, that allows the stock foot shifter to be used for the clutch. I ordered one for myself. No trans shifter available at this time. He is also working on a heavy-duty kick ass shifter arm that he started fabricating for a client, who has since disappeared. I’ll take it. He also began a cobra shifter arm. There’s more, the unique devil’s tail license plate/taillight brackets and top motor mounts too.

Kent spent two hours showing us the shop and some of the previous bikes they have built. Most of bikes were long gone. They did a great job of documenting their work and will upgrade their website in the near future. So continue to check back.

I’m sorry I missed the opportunity to meet Eric and look forward to insight into the second half of this creative team in the future. Lucky Devil Metal Works perform minor sheet metal fabrication right up to full customs. I’m thinking of taking the little red rigid down there to see what ideas they might have for her.

I will continue to visit to see what’s next to emerge from the bowels of the Devils Workshop!

Later,
Rigid Frame Richard

Click to see more from Lucky Devil

Continued On Page 2

THE BISH INVESTIGATION–MOVIES, RESTAURANTS AND LEGAL WRANGLING

Bill Bish author and freedom fighter.

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS
Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists

CONGRESSMAN FOUND GUILTY IN BIKER’S DEATH, RESIGNS– Representative William Janklow, South Dakota’s lone congressman and former four-term governor, will resign after being found guilty of manslaughter in the death of a Minnesota motorcyclist who crashed his Harley-Davidson into Janklow’s speeding Cadillac as it blew through a stop sign at a rural intersection in eastern South Dakota this summer.

Police investigations revealed that Janklow was driving in excess of 70 mph in a 55 mph zone when he failed to stop and proceeded into the path of motorcyclist Randolph Scott, a 55-year old farmer from Hardwick, MN, who had no chance to avoid the collision.

On December 8th, jurors from Janklow’s boyhood hometown of Flandreau, SD took just five hours of deliberation to reject defense arguments that Janklow was suffering a diabetic episode that impaired his judgment and found him guilty on all counts, including second-degree manslaughter, reckless driving, speeding and running a stop sign. The Moody County jury of eight women and four men was not allowed to hear evidence about Janklow’s prior driving record which included numerous speeding tickets, so they reached their verdict based solely on the facts of the August 18 wreck.

Janklow faces up to 10 years in prison as a result of his conviction, and will be sentenced on January 20th, the effective date of his resignation from the U.S. House of Representatives. He could also face further civil actions by the Scott family.

SENATOR CAMPBELL EXPRESSES CONCERNS TO NHTSA — U.S. Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado, a longtime motorcyclist and champion of bikers’ rights, has sent a letter to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration expressing concern over NHTSA’s recent actions in regards to motorcycling issues.

In particular, Campbell’s December 10 letter is critical of the federal agency’s attempt to promote helmet laws through the United Nations, and the rewarding of a contract to complete a study of “Characteristics of Motorcycle Operators” which was improperly awarded six months prior to a public comment period requesting input on the study.

Campbell is one of several lawmakers who serve on the National Coalition of Motorcyclists Legislative Task Force (NCOM-LTF), and he has always stepped up to bat on important issues affecting America’s motorcycle riders.

EASY RIDER GETS STAR– Peter Fonda, who directed and co-starred in the iconic 1969 Academy Award-nominated biker flic “Easy Rider,” received the 2,241st Star on the famous Hollywood Walk of Fame on October 22, following in his famous father’s footsteps and hoping to carry on his legacy.

He is the son of Henry Fonda, who died in 1982, and the brother of Jane Fonda – both Oscar winners. His daughter is actress Bridget Fonda and his son Justin Fonda is a cameraman who worked on such films as “Vertical Limit” and “The Last Ride.”

“This is great for me to be able to join my father,” Fonda said at the ceremony. “I certainly hope my daughter and my son can join me soon.”

Fonda’s star is located on Hollywood Boulevard in front of the historic Roosevelt Hotel, while his father’s star is on Vine Street.

As for rumors of an Easy Rider sequel, the 64-year old Fonda recently was quoted as saying, “I’ve got maybe one more motorcycle movie in me.”

EASY RIDER’S GRILL NOW WELCOMES PATCH HOLDERS– The New Mexico Confederation of Clubs is celebrating their first victory! For over a year, an Albuquerque, New Mexico restaurant “Easy Rider?s Grill” (no affiliation to Easyriders magazine) has had a sign posted stating that club colors were not allowed in the restaurant. As a result, the NMCOC had established a boycott of the popular restaurant. The NMCOC contacted the owner of the restaurant and adjacent Easy Rider’s Motorcycle shop about the offending sign, and is pleased to announce that Reinhart “Rhino” Sherman, president of the NMCOC, managed to convince him to remove the sign; therefore the NMCOC considers Easy Rider’s Grill — recently renamed “Rio Grande Big Dog” — to be on the list of COC friendly places.

Members of the NMCOC recently visited Easy Rider’s Grill to celebrate and thank the owner, Clif Fodge. “The COC was really pleased at how open Clif was to speaking with us and resolving this issue,” reports Rhino. “I think most folks are willing to see us in a positive light if we can just talk.”

The NMCOC plans to use this event as a benchmark to convince other New Mexico eating and drinking establishments to remove similar discriminatory signs.

CANADIAN BIKER BEATS NOISE RAP– Ontario Confederation of Clubs independent member Ted Cairns was pulled over on the afternoon of May 18 while riding his 2002 Harley FLSTC at legal speed through the Peterborough area in the Canadian province of Ontario, and was stopped and ticketed for “unnecessary noise.” The police officer ran a tape measure up his Vance and Hines Longshots exhaust system, deemed them illegal on the spot, and handed Cairns a ticket for $110.00.

During his trial on December 8, Cairns lawyer David Ross pointed out to the court that the Highway Traffic Act does not define “unnecessary noise,” and showed the judge several cases of law that have been overturned on this basis. In all these cases the judges ruled that unnecessary noise had to be a direct and purposeful action of the defendant at the time of the charge or the unnecessary noise would not be subject to criminal charges. In Cairn’s case, the Crown Attorney argued that the simple act of switching from a stock exhaust system to the Vance and Hines was the act that created the unnecessary noise. The judge disagreed with the Crown and the case was dismissed.

“We can see that through this decision that Bill 241 (aka the Street Racing and Vehicle Modification Act) is a little less stronger than it used to be,” said Brian Dodds, recording secretary for the Ontario Confederation of Clubs. “By picking away at this ridiculous law, it can be amended or even repealed.”

BIKERS CHALLENGE CANADA’S “ANTI-GANG” LAW– Lawyers representing two Hells Angels MC members charged with extortion want Canada’s new “anti-gang” legislation struck from the Criminal Code. The law violates the Charter of Rights because it is too vague, defense lawyer Paul Burnstein told the Toronto Sun on November 29. He said this is the first constitutional challenge of the 2002 legislation.

The law defines a “criminal organization” as an organized group of three or more that commits serious offences for financial benefit. Burnstein said the definition is “vague” and infringes on the right to associate.

He said it could criminalize harmless or political association, thus violating the charter.

BRITISH POLICE CONFISCATE “NUISANCE MOTORCYCLES” — A four-wheel all terrain vehicle (ATV) and three motorcycles have been confiscated by police in Burnley, UK as part of their continued crackdown on “motorcycle nuisance.” The four vehicles were taken away by police in response to a catalogue of complaints from residents on the Kibble Bank estate about motorbike riding, and owners of the vehicles received verbal and written warnings prior to their bikes being taken away. In removing the vehicles, police were exercising new powers which enable them to seize bikes that are causing alarm, distress or annoyance. Complaints reportedly eased considerably following the seizures, and Burnley police pledge to “keep up the pressure on those reckless motorcyclists.”

OZZY INJURED IN BIKE ACCIDENT– Speaking of Brits and bikes, 55-year old rocker Ozzy Osbourne suffered multiple broken ribs and other injuries when he crashed an ATV on the grounds of his country estate in Buckinghamshire, England on December 8th.

The accident happened during a day off from promoting his new single, “Changes” — a duet recorded with his daughter Kelly.

Osbourne fractured eight ribs and a vertebra in his neck and underwent emergency surgery to reconstruct his left collarbone and restore blood flow to his arm, but doctors said he was comfortable and stable in the hospital, reports Reuters news service.

GIMME MORE– In other celebrity biking news, the National Enquirer reported that actress Demi Moore bought her young lover Ashton Kutcher a brand new motorcycle, but he refused the gift.

Kutcher, who plays the character Kelso in the TV sitcom “That 70’s Show,” reportedly told Moore angrily; “You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m already getting enough crap about our age difference. Now people will start saying I’m your Boy Toy. If I need a motorcycle I’ll buy one myself.”

Moore is almost twice his age, and apparently twice as gutsy.

If he can’t handle it, get out of the kitchen.

UPS YOUR’S– In last month’s column we told readers about a United Parcel Service ad for holiday employment opportunities that played on the negative stereotype of bikers, but enough concerned riders contacted UPS to complain that the company discontinued the print ad and began sending the following response:

“Due to the number of responses we have received, UPS will no longer be running the commercial in question. In no way did UPS intend the commercial to be offensive to motorcycle enthusiasts. We apologize for any objectionable material contained in the commercial.”

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH: BLOWN AWAY– Steve Dass of Walnut Creek, California says strangers stole his money. Dass was riding eastbound on Highway 4 when thousands of dollars flew off the back of his motorcycle. Eyewitnesses say busy freeway traffic came to a halt as dozens of people scrambled for cash. John Craig, a Pittsburg resident, said: “So everybody went crazy, everybody burning rubber, pulling over. So we pulled over, like naturally everybody hopping out…getting money.”

The CHP says Craig was the only one who returned some of the money. $200 dollars was recovered, but Dass is still out $7,000.

A frantic search in, around, and near the freeway turned up nothing. According to Daas, “I was keeping this money for my mother. It was $7,000 and I was going to go give it to her. This money is very important because it’s the last piece of money my mother has for herself.”

The California Highway Patrol says their initial investigation confirms Dass’ story and his intentions. “He told us he was going to use the money to take his mother furniture shopping for her new condo in Antioch,” said a CHP spokesperson. There’s one final component to this sad story: Mr. Dass was recently laid-off from his job.

QUOTABLE QUOTES: “Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny.”Edmund Burke, British political writer and statesman (1729-97)

Have a Merry Christmas and ride safe, goddamnit.–Marlon

BIKERNET NEWS ALERT–NEW PAUGHCO SPRINGERS, TEXAS TOY RUN AND THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA

Continued From Page 3

JESSE JAMES BUILDS JAP BIKE–after repeatedly knocking the custom “harley” world flat on its ass mr. James is now gonna do the same thing to the sport bike game.This, is one sick motorcycle.

Should hit the stands jan. 6th. Check it out.

–from Jay Hodge

HAMSTER GIVES BIRTH–Sun Valley, Idaho Hamster Todd Rippo and wife Lisa had a baby Hamsterette, Francesca Jolie, on Monday morning, just to strengthen our Hamster base in Idaho! All is well, baby is 6lbs 12oz. Congratulations!

THE EAST COAST CHALLENGE IS ON– Choppers Unlimited offers completeturn key, super rollers, rollers, frames, and accessories to build chopsfrom mild to wild; bare, primed, powdered, and stainless. What a menu.NEW AT CINCY NEXT YEAR–NEW! 80-spoke, 280 Metzler, seven-inch rim with drive side brake! Stop byand check it out.Choppers Unlimited’s Cincy intro of an industry first 80-spoke 280 rim,dimensions are: The hub is 7-inches, laced to a 10.5″ rim.

NEW! Wide frame for Sportys? Wide frame for Sportys! Chop your XL in style.

–John Siebenthaler
john@siebenthalercreative.com>
www.siebenthalercreative.com

AN ENGINEER’S CHRISTMAS–There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that, for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh, and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second–3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the “flying” reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them—Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he’s dead now!

Merry Christmas!

–from Bubblehead, AKA, Scrooge

TEXAS TOY RUN–The Red Baron bike was at the toy run and I asked the owner why I have yet to see it in a national magazine? He said that he has submitted to several. The editor ER told him it was the ugliest thing he had seen or something close to that effect. Kinda strange if you ask me.

Here are some images from Sunday’s toy run. There is a shop party this Saturday and then the second toy run on Sunday. I hope we have the same great weather. Usually we get rain & cold for one or the other. Not a lot of cutie pictures, battery died could be the freeway shots ate it up. I’ll have a backup battery soon.

I already heard from the little blonde on the homepage asking if I will send her copies of the pics. That night there were several folks taking photos. I told her and her friend the dark haired cutie “Unlike the rest of these folks I may get your pictures posted on the Internet”. She had already checked out the site yesterday before she sent the e-mail, so I know they are checking in.

Later,

–RFR

LITTLE MARY– Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.”Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?”

When Mary Margaret didn’t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, “Very good” and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”

But she didn’t stir from her slumber. Once again, little Johnny came to the rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

“Jesus Christ!” shouted Mary and the Nun once again said “Very good”, and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her third question…”What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted,”If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”

The Nun fainted.

–from Ken Miller

JANKLOW– Has Been Found Guilty of All The Charges Against Him

I would like to Thank Everyone Who Has Contacted The Media and Motorcycle Rights Groups.

It goes to prove that we Can Win!

Please Continue to Follow Up and Insist That Janklow Gets Jail Time and Not A Slap On The Wrist.

Now is when he and his pals are going to appeal or try to get some kind of minor sentence.

KILL A BIKER GO TO JAIL!

–Rogue

CLASSIC PAUGHCO SPRINGERS–If you’re looking for the ultimate in a CLASSIC RETRO SPRINGER front end for your new custom or an upgrade for that worn stocker, there’s only one place to go and that’s Paughco.

The Godfather of aftermarket SPRINGERS, Paughco has been manufacturing reproduction and custom SPRINGERS for over three decades. Currently they offer over 90 different variations including stock and custom applications to fit just about any year and model. Paughco SPRINGER assemblies are available in wide and narrow styles, in a variety of lengths, with or without shocks and designed for use with Dog Bone risers or Glide style top clamp.

Most recently they have introduced a model that incorporates their unique “floating fender” assembly. Available finished in Paughco’s durable show quality chrome or new gloss black finish, these classic front ends are priced right and are available from Paughco dealers worldwide or by calling 775-246-5738. Internet www.paughco.com

MERRY MERRY, GODDAMNIT–According to the HORSE, Jesse James challenged OCC to a bike build off. They declined. I wanted to go for it. Bikernet and Jesse James race to Sturgis 2004. Sounds good to me. I gotta get the new shop set up.

Whew, the rest of the week will be spent hammering through articles for American Rider, some of which will end up on Bikernet. I’m interviewing Senator Dave Zien from Wisconsin. We’ll discuss the chances for expanded Right-of-Way laws. He’s a long range rider, just rode from Wisconsin to Phoenix to visit his daughter.

We wrapped up three articles for Cruising Rider recently, although the editor tossed one back on my desk. He wants more words. Lucky the little bastard’s in Sedona. And I’m supposed to meet with the editor of Hard Core Choppers out of Japan this week. We need to work on future assignments.

The most important article project arrived from Irish Rich, of Shamrock Customs, on modifying a VL frame. It’s coming up on Bikernet along with other surprises. Hang on.

Ride forever,

Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CARIBBEAN REPORT, SAMSON SHIELD ALERT, CRAZYHORSE AT WAR WITH BUILDER AND DUAL MIKUNIS FOR SPORTSTERS

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–The Puerto Rico Bike Weekend is over, thank God! I don’t know if I could take any more beatings. While trying to finish the choppers we had, setting up everything and hanging out with our guests I slept like 4 hours in six days, yeap, so what the fuck is new?

Indian Larry, Paul Cox, Hank Young, Tim and Jameson were here to participate in the madness, Gennaro ? aka – Chicago Greaser was in charge of documenting everything for The Horse and sharing his photos with me so I can post them all over. I’m writing a story for it after I’m done with the news, so keep your eyes peeled.

One preview I can give is the ride over to the Western town of Rincon. I guess the guys found it an uplifting experience because of no worries about cops, lane directions, stop lights, stop signs or anything else. To sum it up, a 45-minute traffic jam was reduced to 3 minutes by doing what had to be done; the grin stuck to Indian Larry ‘s mug told the whole story. I guess we are used to the ultra defensive driving, which means, get there before anyone else no matter what it takes.

While juggling the whole deal I’m also moving Caribbean Custom Cycles to a new location, it’s about time since the older shop is too small. Soon I will have everything under one roof, including the stripper pole. To top it off, Hank Young of the Flying pan fame got a call from the Biker Build off series to be the next participant, while in Puerto Rico. I know who goes against him but will save it for a later date.

Like I said, we managed to finish two bikes and an almost, well let’s say two almost (one is missing the calipers and primary).I really want to keep on with the Puerto Rico story but I need to save some stuff for my Bikernet report on that, anyway, the guys were super happy to be here (while everyone else was freezing their butts in 20″ of snow) and promised to come back and even in despair of the freak tropical storm that hit the island it was a fun time for all. The burn out pit took some casualties of the rubber kind, the Don Q was freely flowing and the cops were super cool about the whole thing, I almost managed to swipe a cop bike into the pit.

All the visitors got a very good example of our islands hospitality, everyone here was more than elated to have builders of such caliber from the US (I guess they are tired of seeing my face) and there was no rush, no mobs, we did have carte blanche to do what the hell we wanted and let me tell you we really took full advantage of those privileges. I better shut up or I will give the whole story away.

Next year we expect a lot more people, and are planning on setting up containers to get people and their bikes from the US here. Yeap you too can escape the fucking cold and enjoy a rum and coke on the beach in Puerto Rico.

I got to start the work on the new shop, so I’ll cut this short and let the photos do the talking, before I forget, there will be event shirts available at my website pretty soon.

Back to work goddamitt! It’s going to be a sorry ass Christmas for me…..

Jose Bikernet Caribbean report…… and I did not fucking drown !

TWO PIECE HEAT SHIELD SET FOR 3-INCH DRESSER MUFFLERS–Samson announces new chrome Heat Shield to fit their Silver Bullet mufflers for dressers and Road Kings. It also has universal application and will fit all 3-inch mufflers.

6th WIFE SEARCHING FOR BANDIT–Hi, my name is Lena Fairless. My dad ownes Strokers of Dallas. I was looking for Bandit’s e-mail address. Iwas wondering if you knew it.

Thank you, XOXO
(Bandit’s 6th Wife!!)
Lena

RIVERA ENGINEERING, INC. ALL NEW DUAL CARB KITS FOR SPORTSTERS–1041-0023 Dual 42mm HSR Mikuni carburetor kit with polished carburetors, and polished Dual Runner Intake manifold. Fits all 1986-to present Evolution Sportster models.

1041-0024, Dual 42mm HSR Mikuni carburetor kit with polished carburetors, and CHROME Dual Runner Intake manifold. Fits all 1986-to present Evolution Sportster models.

Rivera Engineering, Inc.
12532 Lambert Road
Whittier, CA 90606
Tel: (562) 907-2600 Fax: (562) 907-2606

CRAZYHORSE REPORT–Ed Sherrer of old Virginia sent me photos of his completed bike with Crazy Horse paint. It was good news that I needed to hear. All is not serene in the Bortles household this week. The current raging debate concerns the BDL BeltDrive covers on the Crazy Horse gooseneck hardtail. Now I love the covers just as they are. They’re clean and sharp providing a neat cleaned up area at the bottom of the bike. Two perfect speres, one smaller than the other. Clean, clean, CLEAN dammit!!!!!!! But nnnnoooooo! The hillbilly bike builder can’t leave well enough alone. He’s out there right now, drawing circles and threatening to cut slots in them. YUK!

Great creeping lizards, I’m on the road for two weeks and come home to this. Desecration of my bike design! What’s next, him telling me that my chili is too spicy? That my chicken and dumplings are dumpy? If I give in to this, there may be no end in sight. I guess he got bored with polishing the carb while waiting for me to finish flaming the frame. I better get my ass in gear so he can start assembling that baby. He needs to leave that BDL alone. It’s perfect. Got that – husband? A man with too much time on his hands is a dangerous thing.

In other news, NASCAR Busch Grand national driver Mike McLaughlin is selling his custom built prostreet. This is one tightly constructed bike. You have to see this bike in person to believe it. Go to http://www.mike-mclaughlin.com to see the details.

Ok, I gotta get back to that frame.

—Crazy Horse

CALIFORNIA–Do you know what happened in 1850?

California became a state.Back then, the state had no electricity, no money,there were gun fights in the middle of the streets, andalmost everyone spoke Spanish.

So it was just like California today.Only back then the women had real boobs.

–from Bob T.

Motors at Rusty?s

BIKERNET AUSTRALIAN CONNECTION–Bandit, I came across a ?63 Pan for sale in ?Just Bikes?. It had a 12-inch over front end with a slightly raked rigid frame; I struck a deal with John the owner over the phone and drove about 1200 klms to pick it up. I hooked up with John and had a feed, and drank way to many Southern Comforts at a great little pub in a one horse town in northern N.S.W. Australia. Turns out, I knew John from a few years ago which made the deal so much better. Crashed at the pub and after a big breakfast, loaded the pan on the trailer then John and I headed our separate ways.

Got the bike home, promptly unloaded it and went for a ride. It rode great but had a few bugs to sort out before I could do some serious riding. I looked up Rusty of RUSTY?S BAYSIDE Custom Cycle?s in Cleveland, just outside Brisbane, Queensland. He?s a fully qualified factory mechanic, originally from Africa and opened his shop on our shores in 1988. He runs a one-man show specialising in customising and restorations and is ?Old School? with a Pan in a softail frame as his own ride.

Walking into his shop you?re met with a variety of bikes he?s working on, old and new Pan motors and the odd Knuckle motor sitting around. He had a couple of ?ground up? rebuilds on the go, one being a very low H.P.U. swing arm frame from Germany with an inverted front-end by Italian Stortz -Cerini with a H.P.U. front and rear wheel with a 250 tyre. On top of the frame sits a stretched Battistins fuel tank and directly under the tank a ?113inch? S&S Knuckle style motor. I?ll keep you posted on this rebuild and send more photos as the bike progresses. Rusty?s email address is rustyscustom@powerup.com.au and I?ll keep you updated on Pan

Ride safe,

Glenn – The Australian Connection.

SAMSON’S BIRTHDAY CRUISE–Dealernews is going to run this picture to cover our Birthday Cruise. Tom from Dealernews wanted me to ID the people with Kenny, so do you want to be Bandit, Keith, K. Randall??? How about Layla?

Loved your article about Dave Hanlon. Can I put it on our www.superxowners.com website?

Nick Trumbo
Sales and Marketing Manager
Samson Motorcycle Products

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS ALERT–HARLEY DOUBLES DIVIDENDS, CHILD SUPPORT WARNINGS AND FLORIDA TOY RUN

Continued From Page 1

Katie Treschl of Melbourne participates in the Brevard County chapter of ABATE of Florida Inc.’s 22nd annual toy run on Sunday. Thousands paraded with donations of toys, games and stuffed animals. Image 2003, Delinda Karnehm, FLORIDA TODAY

20,000 BIKERS ROAR THROUGH BREVARD– MELBOURNE, FLORIDA — Many children opening gifts this Christmas would be surprised to know the Hokey Pokey Elmo twisting away in front of them was once strapped to a motorcycle, with its red hair blowing in the wind and cruising down the highway.

But that could be the case since the orange-nosed doll and other stuffed animals were brought in Sunday by thousands of motorcycle-riding supporters of a toy drive aimed at helping needy children this holiday season.

“See this truck,” said Jerry Keyes, the organizer of this year’s Brevard chapter of the American Bikers Aimed Toward Education.

“It’s a 26-footer and it’s full right now . . . we’re running out of room,” said Keyes, standing at a long line of tables set up to take toys from bikers rolling in from across the state and the country.

Organizers estimated at least 20,000 bikers rumbled their way from Merritt Island to the Wickham Park Pavilion at the Brevard Community College campus in Melbourne.

The procession along U.S. 1 lasted more than an hour. The roadway was closed off in different areas as the bikers moved on, delaying some motorists who were not allowed onto U.S. 1 until the bikers passed.

Once at Park Pavilion, the bikers, many decked out in Santa-caps and leather, walked shoulder to shoulder amid booths selling everything from leather chaps to grilled Italian sausages slathered with saut?ed onions and peppers.

“You got my e-mail?” asked Clarence “Fuzzy Red” Dunkle, dressed as Santa Claus. He was talking to a woman wanting to know about how to get a toy donated to a child.

“E-mail me a name, address and the amount of kids . . . that’s my area,” the Titusville resident said to the woman after a quick hug. His naturally red beard was temporarily spray painted white.

“I’ve been doing this for 8 or 9 years . . . they love it,” Dunkle said of the curious children who often stopped and stared at his beard and red outfit.

And just as there was no mistaking Dunkle as Santa, there was little guessing as to who 44-year-old Bonnie Sutor was hoping to portray, albeit in a naughty fashion.

“I think this is all a great idea for the kids,” said Sutor, dressed in a red Santa hat, a matching white-fur trimmed bikini top and mini-skirt along with thigh-high black leather boots.

“We brought in toys . . . all stuffed,” said the Port St. John resident, carrying two cups of beer and walking with her more traditionally dressed bike-enthusiast husband Ron Sutor.

On the tables, near the entrance where the parking lots quickly turned into a sea of every kind of motorcycle, were volunteers stuffing donated toys into bags and packing them into waiting trucks.

From there the toys — from Hokey Pokey Elmo to Tonka trucks — would be distributed to families for children who otherwise would get few, if any toys to mark Christmas.

The initial toy run organized by Keyes in 1982 drew just 35 bikers.

By J.D. Gallop,FLORIDA TODAY

–Rogue

Old Photo By Bob T.

THANKS TO BIKERNET–I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for such a great website.After being taken out on the 91 freeway last February I was laid up formore than six months. A couple of months in the hospital and the rest ofthe time I was laid up at home. During that entire time I think I readjust about everything that you have ever posted on the regular site plusthe Cantina site.

I’m sure you get these kinds of messages all the time but I really meanit when I say thanks.

–Harley Jacobs

V-TWIN EXPO COMING IN FEBRUARY–Production work on AMD?s January edition finishes this week, which means that the sands of time are already trickling for the February number which will preview the V-Twin Expo at Cincinnati.With over 300 firms already confirmed as exhibitors, space availability both in editorial as well as advertising terms, is definitely going to be spoken for quickly.We are hoping to have this edition of AMD finished by Christmas for Early January print and mailing?so act now to avoid disappointment.American Motorcycle Dealer is sent to more named V-twin industry professionals and businesses than any other edition of any other trade journal published by anyone, anywhere… FACT!

Ben Bradley
Publishing Assistant
American Motorcycle Dealer
http://www.dealer-world.com

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM HARLEY THEY DOUBLED QUARTERLY DIVIDEND– Milwaukee, Wis., December 5, 2003 — Harley-Davidson, Inc. (NYSE: HDI) announced today that its Board of Directors approved a quarterly cash dividend of 8 cents per share, payable December 29, 2003 to shareholders of record as of December 15, 2003. This represents a 100 percent increase over the last quarterly dividend.

“The recent change in tax law has increased the attractiveness of dividends as a way of sharing the success of the Company with our shareholders,” said Jeffrey L. Bleustein, chairman and chief executive officer of Harley-Davidson, Inc.

The Company currently has approximately 302 million shares of common stock outstanding.

CHILD SUPPORT CONFESSIONS–The following are all replies that women have put on British Child SupportAgency forms in the section for listing father’s details: These are genuineexcerpts from the forms (names removed).

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fatheredby [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B,but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was beingsick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide youwith a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She wasconceived at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sexwith a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that Ifainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me hisphone number? Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMWthat now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhapsyou can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had itreplaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Popeconfirming that my son’s conception was immaculate and that he is Christrisen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad as he informs me that to doso would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications forthe British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by thecountry. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look thesame to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him canyou ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisneymaybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember forsure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. IfI’d have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at(address given), mine might have remained unfertilised.

–from Chris T.

Glenn, Peter & Kay

MORE FROM THE AUZZIE CONNECTION–HI! Guys, After picking up the bikes in Glendale, our first stop on our trip to Sturgis was Big Sur, where we camped along with 300 other Auzzies that we had the pleasure of meeting.

Peter & Kay have been on the road since 1996 Traveling the world, visiting over 120 countries and riding more than 300,000 klms on a 1994 Ultra Classic. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw their bike in Noosa Heads, Australia. A quick scout around and I found them strolling along the river taking in the views. A quick chat, organized a time to meet, get a couple shots and then have a couple of beers.

What followed was a great night, Kerry and a couple of friends joined us for a meal and a few more drinks. Peter & Kay are very interesting people, I could not get enough of their traveling tales. They were on their way home to Townsville to spend Xmas with friends and family. I need to take more notes, because I can’t remember what country they were off to next year. You can jump on their web site http://www.HorizensUnlimited.com.au and follow their travels.

Take it easy .

The Auzzie Connection.

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS–HOT CHRISTMAS ACTION

It’s Thursday in the eye of the Christmas Season storm. We need to stay calm during this harried time, but I’m teetering. We’re working on a real estate deal to expand the vast Bikernet empire, but it may be crumbling due to a cop. We’ve torn the Amazing Shrunken FXR apart. Sheet metal is now in Harold Pontarelli’s capable hands. Powder coating will leave for Custom Powder Coating in Dallas next week, and chrome will be delivered to Wilmington in SoCal. Why the hell did I pick this month to finish this bike? Shows in January.

All the Orwell Book orders will fly out today, Christmas Cards will terrorize the Post Office by the end of the week. Shirt orders picked up today and shipped tomorrow. Sin Wu is doing a helluva job while the blond is strapped to her bed. We’re avoiding her. It may be the flu.

That’s just the beginning of the list. Let’s dive into the news:

BUCK LOVELL PHOTOGRAPHY–Would this make a bang bang poster?

Buck
buck@riveraengineering.com

Shortly Buck’s Panhead print will be listed in the Gulch.–Bandit

BIKERS’ RIGHTS–Bandit, Thanks for giving me My Shot. You’re absolutely right about bikers’ rights and protections under the law for motorcyclists. Since when does, “I didn’t see him” become an excuse in court for killing or maiming someone??? Under the law, never.

Reminds me of a joke I heard a while back about Texas law. A guy kills his wife. Gets off because his excuse was, “She needed killin’. ” One thing I wish my fellow bikers would do as you say. Write the people that can make a difference. Writing each other in biker pubs and snivelling about wrongs done to us only gets sympathy, but not much else….

Ride safe.
–Steve Thomas
netnoggin@sbcglobal.net

JANKLOW DOWN–Jury Convicts U.S. Rep. Janklow of Manslaughter, Reuters NewsSummary: FLANDREAU, S.D. (Reuters) – A South Dakota jury convicted Republican U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow of manslaughter and other charges for speeding through a highway stop sign and colliding fatally with a motorcyclist. Janklow, 64, could face a 10-year prison term on the manslaughter charge and possible expulsion from the House of Representatives at sentencing.

Comments: There might just be justice in this world after all.

–fromTom Conley

STEALTH TOY RUN REPORT–Here is a report with pictures from the toy run held here in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I emphasize North Carolina, held this past Sunday.

This past Sunday the Concerned Bikers Association of Charlotte, North Carolina held it annual Toys For Tots toy run. The morning greeted everyone with frosty tempartures in high 20’s to 30 degrees. The riders began staging for the run at 12 noon at the Independence Arena. By 1 p.m. over 500 riders pulled out and headed for Freedom Park to fill up the Marine Corp’s trucks with all the toys. The temperature climbed to around 55 degrees and the sun was bright. A little early morning cold didn’t stop the bikers from showing up to brighten Christmas for the kids.

After the run Harley-Davidson of Charlotte hosted their annual Christmas party and sale. There was plenty of food on hand for the riders when they arrived. This day is a day that the bikers of Charlotte have come to look forward to. It is a day when the dealership and riders come together to make a great day for everyone involved.

At the end of the day a lot of good had been done and there was something for everyone. Most of all, this day once again proved that bikers have the biggest hearts when it comes to helping out those less fortunate than ourselves, especially when kids are involved.

Oh before I forget, thanks to “THE MEANEST” for the pictures, you did a great job!

Later!
The Stealth

AIN’T A BIKE IN A BARN, BUT–NewsMax.com has obtained exclusive photos of a buried Iraqi jet fighter being recovered byU.S. Air Force troops. The Iraqi jet, an advanced Russian MiG-25 Foxbat, was found buried in the sand after an informant tipped off U.S. troops.

The MiG was dug out of a massive sand dune near the Al Taqqadum airfield by U.S. Air Force recovery teams. The MiG was reportedly one of over two dozen Iraqi jets buried in the sand, like hidden treasure, waiting to be recovered at a later date.

Contrary to what some in the major media have reported, not all the jets found were from the Gulf War era.

The Russian-made MiG-25 Foxbat being recovered by U.S. Air Force troops in the photos is an advanced reconnaissance version never before seen in the West and is equipped withsophisticated electronic warfare devices.

U.S. Air Force recovery teams had to use large earth-moving equipment to uncover the MiG, which is over 70 feet long and weighs nearly 25 tons.

The Foxbat is known to be one of Iraq’s top jet fighters. The advanced electronic reconnaissance version found by the U.S. Air Force is currently in service with the Russian air force. The MiG is capable of flying at speeds of over 2,000 miles an hour, or three times the speed of sound, and at altitudes of over 75,000 feet.

The recovery of the advanced MiG fighter is considered to be an intelligence coup by the U.S. Air Force. The Foxbat may also be equipped with advanced Russian- and French-made electronics that were sold to Iraq during the 1990s in violation of a U.N. ban on arms sales to Baghdad.

The buried aircraft at Al Taqqadum were covered in camouflage netting, sealed and, in many cases, had their wings removed before being buried more than 10 feet beneath the Iraqi desert.

Top U.S. weapons inspector Dr. David Kay is known to favor human intelligence as the primary means to find Iraq’s hidden treasure trove of weapons and secrets.

While there are rumors of Iraqi chemical and biological weapons being shipped to nearby Syria, the weapons may very well still remain inside Iraq buried under the vast desert wastelands.

–from Rogue

BIKERNET RELLIGIOUS MOMEMNT– Mother Superior calls all the nuns together. She then says to them, “I must tell you something very serious. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”

A blonde nun in the back responds, “Thank God … I’m so tired of Zinfandel !!”

–from Chris T.

RIGHT OF WAY LAWS–A MUST FOR BIKER SAFETY–The following articles concern the nationally covered court caseinvolvingSouth Dakota U.S.Representative William Janklow. Please forgive someofthe seemingly repetitious information. The reason the motorcyclingcommunity is followin’ this case so closely, is due to the nationalpushby the State Motorcycle Rights Organizations (SMRO’s), the MRF,AIM/NCOM& the American Motorcyclist Association (AMA) Government Relations toenact Right-of-Way laws.

These laws will hold the cage-drivers accountable when theirinattentionbehind the wheel causes accidents resultin’ in personal injury, damageto &/or loss of property &/or death of motorcyclists. ABATE of MD,Inc.introduced our Right of Way bill in last year’s legislative session. Itdidn’t pass. As Pappy Boward stated in the latest State Newsletter,we’ll be submittin’ it each year until it DOES!

How many friends have YOU lost from these type of “accidents”? Howmanyfolks you know are maimed?…..Wrecked &/or lost their bikes?…..&theage-old excuse to the officer at the scene:”…Uhh….I didn’t see the motorcycle…”

And then…..they get the proverbial slap-on-the-wrist $50.00 fine bythe court system.

The accountability we’re pushin’ for WILL increase motorcycle awarnessA-N-D save lives, folks.

–In Service, Prezzz

ELDERLY DRIVER COLLIDES WITH MOTORCYCLE– for the second time in two yearsNov. 6 – An elderly Ohio man who caused the death of a motorcyclistin atraffic accident two years ago has been indicted in another motorcyclecrash that cost a woman her leg.

Everett Hargrove, 75, of the Toledo area was indicted recently fornegligent assault in a September 9 crash in which Hargrove’s vehiclecollided with a motorcycle ridden by Nancy Hejl, 40. Hejl lost a legasa result of the crash.Hargrove allegedly pulled out of a driveway into Hehjl’s path. Hefacesup to 60 days in jail if convicted.

In August of 2001, Hargrove pulled out of a driveway and his vehiclecollided with a motorcycle, killing rider Daniel Gfell of Toledo.Hargrove was convicted of vehicular homicide and received a suspended10-day jail term as well as a three-month drivers license suspension.

–from Rogue

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