I snuck out of the office today to hang at the drying Bikernet headquarters and help with the news. The March issue of Hot Bike is on the streets. You can’t miss it. The cover is Kevin from Big Bear Choppers. That’s right, instead of just another polished motor on the cover, it’s a human being. It’s the man behind Big Bear’s exploding success story hugging his wild-ass Knucklehead.

You wouldn’t believe the heat I’m getting for changing the cover mold. There’s frothing at the mouth MBAs, consultants, computer test experts and the boss of bosses pushing me to spring back to the normal paint and chrome covers. They’ve run e-mail studies, asked consultants and threatened me.

Let me know what you think. That’s not all, someone in some distant production facility saw fit to fuck up the cover print job. Of course no one will own up to it, but I smell corporate conspiracy and promised flying baseball bats if the next one is messed with.

On the positive side there’s Bree in Hot Bike, the first girl in seven long dry years. There’s action. There’s a sharp, thorough, Fuel Injection guide and techs to back it up. There’s even how to Make a Biker Movie by agent Zebra. Check out this issue and gimme some feed back. We’ll continue to bring you all the behind the scenes action at these mags. Now, let’s get to the news then I’ll tell you about the other books.

LOOKING FOR A FRIEND–I was wondering if you know where I can contact an old friend of mine Marty Ruthman. I’m a very close friend of his and his family. I’ve known him since Hi School. My contact info is

Bob Moles
530 906 0906
mailto:rwmoles@cwnet.com

S&S RACING SPONSORSHIPS–VIOLA, WI (January 11, 2005) S&S is pleased to announce the following individual racing sponsorships during the 2005 racing season.

AHDRA Sanction:
Blake Holliday – Super Gas
Dave Ostrowski – Super Gas
David Hope – Super Sport
Allen Nusbaum – Super Sport
Wanda Poff – Super Sport
Rick Maney – Pro-Stock
Dale Raudenbush – Pro-Stock
Joe Sternotti – Street-Pro
Junior Pippin – Pro-Modified
Cliff Dwy – Pro-Modified
Shaun Reno – Pro-Modified
Phil Schmidt – Pro-Drag
Greg Byrnes – Pro-Drag
Brooke McCabe – Pro-Gas
Robert Markham – Pro-Gas
Dave Delullo – Pro-Gas
Ed Biaggi – Pro-Gas
Bill Bertoletti – Pro-Fuel
Sonny Michalowski – Top-Fuel

AMRA Sanction:
Jay Wagner – Street Eliminator
Greg Walls – Street Eliminator
Jerry Cameron – Street Eliminator
Russ Johnson – Pro Eliminator
Jim Bob Kern – Pro Eliminator
Bob Burris – Super-Gas
Dave Sollars – Super-Gas
Randal Andras – Hot Street
Russ Morgan – Hot Street
Mark Sidwell – Buell
Mike Nolan – Modified
Bryan Huffman – Pro-Modified
Rick Clutts Pro-Modified
Mike Nelson/Iron Eagle Racing Pro-Modified
Dennis Cunningham – Pro-Gas
Chris Richterburg – Pro-Fuel

“These racers are well-respected within their respective sanction and class,” said Charlie Hadayia, Manager of Dealer Development and Race Relations. “We’re pleased to provide sponsorship for these accomplished racers through the next season. Staying in touch with the racing community is critical for S&S to continue producing proven performance products,?*? continued Hadayia. “Congratulations on a successful racing season in 2004 and good luck going fast at the track in 2005.”

S&S will be the official title sponsor for three AHDRA races in 2005: Bakersfield, CA on May 13-15, Budds Creek, MD on July 15-17, and Bristol, TN on August 13-14. S&S is also sponsoring the following classes in the AHDRA during 2005: Pro Stock, Pro Gas, Super Sport, and the new S&S 124″ Challenge class.

NOTES TO EGO-BOY–I am thrilled that you are taking over the lead on the Hot Bike mag. I have refused to even look at the magazine at the newstand, unless I really want to be bored. I hope you have plans to change it! I realize my tastes are satisfied with American Iron and the Horse (Backstreet Choppers), and it would be nice to see another magazine similar. Easyriders is even boring to me since you left. I know that the magazines all have their own theme, but I am totally tired of seeing the same old bikes month after month. I guess Howard Kelly thought they were unique and different, but to me they were all just the same.

Jeff Morgan

Hey Bandit, Congrats on your new job at Hot Bike! Although we’ve never met I’ve enjoyed all your work at Bikernet, including your Road King report, since I also have a Road King.I have a couple of questions if you’ve got a minute, concerning your 95″ Big Bore. I’m assuming you still have your ‘King, if you don’t,maybe you can recall after you had the work done.

Did you feel like you gained allot (HP wise) from the Big Bore kit?
Do you think the all-day ride reliability was compromised?
Did you go with high-compression pistons?
Would you do it over again, or recommend someone else having the same work done?

I’m kind of struggling with the issue as you can tell, my ‘King is a great bike but I could sure use a little more “snap”, especiallywhen I’m riding “two up”.

If you get a chance let me know, I’d really appreciate it.If you’re ever in the Seattle area let me know, the beers are on me.

Thanks man.
Randall Ralph

I’ve never heard a complaint. Generally, the Twin Cam can handle it and you should rock. Watch the cam you run. Make sure it’s a good mid-range cam and not all top end. Also make sure you back it up with the Screamin’ Eagle air cleaners kit and performance exhaust. The wrong pipes will kill it.–Bandit

Las Vegas Winter Rally —On Sunday, February 20th 2005, Hawaiian Chopper Magazine, in association with The Las Vegas Hard Rock Cafe, Count’s Kustoms, and Vegas City Choppers, are presenting the first ever “Las Vegas Winter Rally”.

Joining us for a poker run and party at the Hard Rock Cafe, are Johnny “Chop” Vasko of “Johnny Chop Industries”, (formerly of Chica Custom Cycles), Roland Sands of “Performance Machines”, Hank Young of “Young Choppers”, and Jose De Miguel of “Caribbean Custom Cycles”.

Coming along for the ride is nationally syndicated radio talk show host, and star of the Emmy Award winning “sci-fi” series, Babylon Five, Jerry Doyle. Others are sure to come for this one-day event.

Registration for the poker run will be held at Count’s Kustoms at 2714 Highland Drive in Las Vegas, Nevada, and begins at 8:30am on 20 February.

The ride will begin at 10:30. Led by the celebrity builders, riders will enjoy a poker run in the crisp winter air. Taking off to the World renowned “Denver’s Choppers” in Henderson, then on to Vegas City Choppers in Las Vegas, (and one other stop to be named later), and finally, ending up at the Las Vegas Hard Rock Cafe, where riders will pick up their final card.

Enter the “Best Custom” contest sponsored by Count’s Kustoms and win a specially designed and built trophy by custom builder Shannon Aikau of Count’s Kustoms. There is no cost to enter, but all bikes MUST be Customs. “No off the rack bikes”. There will also be other great events to be announced along the way.

At the Hard Rock, check out nearly 40 vendors that will be showing their wares at from 12:00 to 6:00pm. Already signed up are Count’s Customs, Mitch Bergeron Customs, Vegas City Choppers,O School Choppers, Denver Choppers, Jim Nasi Customs, and others to be announced later.

Food and beverages will be available for purchase at all locations along the way, and a $10.00 ride fee will be charged with a portion of the proceeds going to a fund supporting the families of service members deployed in support of the War on Terror.

In addition to Sunday’s activities, a VIP party with the celebrity bike builders will be held at the Las Vegas Margaritaville on Friday, February 18th. Entry to this event will be limited to 150 people and a entry fee of 20.00 will get you in the door (ticket for entry to the VIP party will also get you on the ride).

Special room rates available at the St. Tropez Motel (located across from the Las Vegas Hard Rock Cafe). Just mention the rally at the Hard Rock Cafe for your special rate.

For more info call 808-780-2998 or email at alohasports@hawaii.rr.com

An American hero’s story that must be told —
By Rich Lowry
You probably don’t know Rafael Peralta’s name. If we lived in a country that more fully celebrated the heroics of its men in uniform, you would. He was a sergeant in Company A, 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment for Operation Dawn, the November offensive to retake the Iraqi city of Fallujah, which had become a haven for terrorists. What he did on the day of Nov. 15 was an awe-inspiring act of selfless sacrifice and faithfulness to his fellow Marines.

The only way we can honor Sgt. Peralta’s heroism is to tell his story and remember his name. What follows is mostly drawn from the reporting of Marine combat correspondent Lance Cpl. T.J. Kaemmerer, who witnessed the events on that day.

Sgt. Peralta, 25, was a Mexican-American. He joined the Marines the day after he got his green card and earned his citizenship while in uniform. He was fiercely loyal to the ethos of the Corps. While in Kuwait, waiting to go into Iraq, he had his camouflage uniform sent out to be pressed. He constantly looked for opportunities to help his Marine brothers, which is why he ended up where he was on Nov. 15. A week into the battle for Fallujah, the Marines were still doing the deadly work of clearing the city, house by house. As a platoon scout, Peralta didn’t have to go out with the assault team that day. He volunteered to go.

According to Kaemmerer, the Marines entered a house and kicked in the doors of two rooms that proved empty. But there was another closed door to an adjoining room. It was unlocked, and Peralta, in the lead, opened it. He was immediately hit with AK-47 fire in his face and upper torso by three insurgents. He fell out of the way into one of the cleared rooms to give his fellow Marines a clear shot at the enemy. During the firefight, a yellow fragmentation grenade flew out of the room, landing near Peralta and several fellow Marines. The uninjured Marines tried to scatter out of the way, two of them trying to escape the room, but were blocked by a locked door. At that point, barely alive, Peralta grabbed the grenade and cradled it to his body.

His body took most of the blast. One Marine was seriously injured, but the rest sustained only minor shrapnel wounds. Cpl. Brannon Dyer told a reporter from the Army Times, “He saved half my fire team.”

Kaemmerer compares Peralta’s sacrifice to that of past Marine Medal of Honor winners Pfc. James LaBelle and Lance Cpl. Richard Anderson. LaBelle dove on a Japanese grenade to save two fellow Marines during the battle of Iwo Jima. Although he had just been wounded twice, Anderson rolled over an enemy grenade to save a fellow Marine during a 1969 battle in Vietnam.

Peralta’s sacrifice should be a legend in the making. But somehow heroism doesn’t get the same traction in our media environment as being a victim or villain, categories that encompass the truly famous Jessica Lynch and Lynndie England respectively. Peralta’s story has been covered in military publications, a smattering of papers including The Seattle Times and The San Diego Union-Tribune, ABC News and some military blogs. But The Washington Post and The New York Times only mentioned Peralta’s name in their lists of the dead.

Scandalously, the “heroism” of Spc. Thomas Wilson ? the national guardsman who asked a tough question of Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld that had been planted with him by a reporter ? has been more celebrated in the press than that of Peralta.

Kaemmerer recounts how later on the night of Nov. 15, a friend approached him and said: “You’re still here; don’t forget that. Tell your kids, your grandkids, what Sgt. Peralta did for you and the other Marines today.” Don’t forget. Good advice for all of us.

From Duc Drake

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 2

American Justice–Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into hisshoe and tried to light it?

Did you know his trial is over?
Did you know he was sentenced?
Did you see/hear any of the judge’s comments on TV/Radio?
Didn’t think so.
Everyone should hear what the judge had to say.

Ruling by Judge William Young, US District Court.

Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything osay.

His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reidalso admitted his “allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to thereligion of Allah,” defiantly stated “I think I ought not apologize for myactions,” and told the court “I am at war with your country.”

Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below, a stingingcondemnation of Reid in particular and terrorists in general:

January 30, 2003, United States vs. Reid. Judge Young: Mr. Richard C. Reid,hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the UnitedStates Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences youTo 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to runconsecutive with the other.

That’s 80 years. On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon youeach of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2million. The Court accepts the government’s recommendation with respect torestitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to AndreBousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines. The Court imposes upon you the$800 special assessment.

The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because thelaw requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I needgo no further. This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes.Itis a fair and just sentence. It is a righteous sentence. Let me explainthis to you. We are not afraid of you or any of your terroristcoconspirators,Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the firebefore. There I all too much war talk here and I say that to everyone withthe utmost respect. Here in this court, where we deal with individuals asindividuals and care for individuals as individuals. As human beings, wereach out for justice.You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldierin any war You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you asoldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers ofgovernment who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to beyour view, you are a terrorist…And we do not negotiate with terrorists.

We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists.We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.

So war talk is way out of line in this court. You are a big fellow. But youare not that big. You’re no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist.

A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders. In a very realsense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken offthat plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where theTV crews were and he said you’re no big deal.

You’re no big deal.

What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able UnitedStates attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I knowhow tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What wasit that led you here to this courtroom today?

I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you tosearch your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led youto do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing. And I have ananswer for you. It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record,it comes as close to understanding as I know.

It seems to me you hate the one thing that is most precious. You hate ourfreedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as wechoose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as weindividually choose. Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom.They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea. It is because we prizeindividual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom.

So that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly,individually, and discretely. It is for freedom’s sake that your lawyersare striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go onin their representation of you before other judges.

We are about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, isthe measure of our own liberties. Make no mistake though. It is yet truethat we will bare any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms. Lookaround this courtroom. Mark it well, the world is not going to long rememberwhat you or I say here. Day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this,however, will long endure. Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all acrossAmerica, the American people will gather to see that justice, individualjustice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done. Thevery President of the United States through his officers will have to comeinto courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can bejudged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidencedemocratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.

See that flag, Mr Reid? That’s the flag of the United States of America.That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag standsfor freedom. You know it always will.

Mr. Custody Officer. Stand him down.

So, how much of this Judge’s comments did we hear on our TV sets? We needmore judges like Judge Young, but that’s another subject. Pass this around.Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerfulwords that strike home.

Ray Russell

HA HA…let’s see the little punk sell insurance now!!

Bob T.

DOCTOR, DOCTOR–A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by hispatients (predominately male) while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gonebefore!”

2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

3. “Can you hear me NOW?”

4. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

5. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”

6. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

7. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..”

8. “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

9. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!”

10. “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

11. “You used to be an IRS Investigator, didn’t you?”

12. “God, Now I know why I am not gay.”

And the best one of them all…

13. “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not upthere

BIKERNET STEALTH REPORT–The weather has been great around here for the past week. Temps near 70 degrees! We rode with about 10 of our friends on New Year’s day. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and a great New Year’s. With that being said let’s get down to business. I haven’t had a good rant about anything in awhile and I feel I am well over due. There are a few things I would like to get off my chest, so here goes!

First off has anyone other than me noticed that at H-D dealerships that they prefer to call their customers “Enthusiast” now instead of “Bikers?” What is up with that? I guess the “Enthusiast” were the ones who kept them in business in the 80’s? I guess the bikers go to the independent shops now. I don’t know about you but I will still be a biker when all the Enthusiast have disappeared!

The next thing is, I was reading in the “Horse” magazine about the CEO at H-D sending a letter out to all dealers telling them not sell aftermarket exhaust. When I was at the dealership I saw this lame attempt to fool everyone. The CEO says that “Loud pipes are ruining our sport.” Is he saying that H-D owns what he calls THE SPORT? For me I never thought of what we did, riding and being bikers as a sport. It always went much deeper than that it was part of who I was, a part of my soul, not a SPORT! How about you do you think of it as a SPORT?

The real reason for the letter is because aftermarket exhaust makers like Samson and Vance & Hines are kicking their ass at about 4 to 1 selling quality exhaust systems. If I remember right I think Vance & Hines makes one of the Sreamin Eagle exhaust systems and H-D puts their name on it. So I guess it is o.k. to buy that one and you won’t ruin the SPORT! As usaual this wasn’t about anyone ruining anything. It was about the $$$$$ being made! It is beyond me how a company that has made millions off of the “outlaw biker image, now says that loud pipes are ruining the sport.

They have tried to duplicate that “outlaw” style with the bikes they come out with and their accessories such as the custom painted sheet metals kits you can buy. Where do you think they come up with ideas for those paint schemes. Maybe at places like Daytona and Stugis?

Now that I finished ranting I feel a little better. Oh by the way one Christmas present I got was the new Dave Mann collection fron Easyriders. “MEANEST” gave it to me and it is great!

Well enough for now. The sun is shining and it is 70 degrees. Time to go out to the garage and get my jockey shift rigid out and go for a ride!

Until next time, Crack those pipes!
STEALTHMAN

WANT AD PROBLEM–I tried to put up a wanted ad, but it dont look like it worked…

Wanted:

Do you have a handful of biker/Harley/event pins in a jar on the kitchen table or on the bedroom dresser that the ol lady is nagging you to put away or sell or she’ll throw them away? Why not sell ( or give! ) them to me and make us both happy! Contact mhein68@earthlink.net

Mike Heinen
Evansville,IL
mhein68@earthlink.net

BEAR ON THE ROOF–A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

“What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?

“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.

“If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Well, I guess it ain’t over yet. You might not know, but in Puerto Rico we still celebrate an old tradition called the “Tres Reyes Magos” or 3 wise men. It?s very similar to the Santa gig, the 3 wise men bring toys to kids, so yes many of Latin American countries have double toys. So you guessed it, it will be the third weekend that becomes a long holiday. So we go back to Rincon and more surf.

So hows the New year ? Great so far, I spent it surfing. My family has good health and that is all that counts. It was very cool to get away from everything and just surf for a couple days, waves are good, winter is here, and I don’t own a “metric” all is cool.

Actually, I have been wondering how this New year will treat everyone; the schedules are already getting filled, the events rolling down and work is starting to pick up (after this week end) so the R&R will be over. Back to the hustle and bustle of reality.

While all is merry, I want to stop for a second, since I know this is a world wide web site, I want to send my regards and sorrow to all of you who are affected by natures mishap in Asia. No matter who they are, how far, what color or what religion it’s a tragedy for us as humans. Be God with them.I guess no matter how bad things get, they don’t seem to be as bad, be glad.

Speaking of surfing again, I noticed that a couple of the surf publications are owned by Primedia, I guess it would be cool to try get crossover stories on the magazines since a lot of the builders do surf…..

Anyway, the custom of the 3 wise men is that the kids need to get grass for the camels, although some people leave toys to get grass, I’m loading my whole Dually chock full of hay to see if I get a spankin’ new blinging Benz…..

Anyway, I’ll get back to the news in full force next week….Rincon here we go…..

Jose ? Bikernet Caribbean Reporter

Visit our Web Site http://www.chopperfreak.com

HARLEY-DAVIDSON ANNOUNCES, ?OPERATION EXTEND THE RIDE?–
Harley-Davidson and Buell Extend Warranty Coverage for Deployed Military Personnel in Middle East

MILWAUKEE, WI (January 3, 2005) ? Harley-Davidson Motor Company and Buell Motorcycle Company recently announced the implementation of “Operation Extend the Ride,” a plan to extend warranty coverage to military personnel deployed in support of operations in Afghanistan and Iraq.

“Men and women from around the world have made great personal sacrifices to serve their countries during military efforts in the Middle East,” said Steve Phillips, Vice President of Quality, Reliability and Technical Service. “Harley-Davidson and Buell want to recognize these military personnel by extending the warranty on Harley-Davidson and Buell motorcycles owned by those who have served and been unable to ride while they were on duty.”

The program will apply to owners of Harley-Davidson and Buell motorcycles who are coalition military personnel from any country deployed to an area controlled by CENTCOM, or deployed in support of coalition operations in the Middle East from November 1, 2001 and on. If their motorcycle is under warranty, Harley-Davidson and Buell will provide an extension of the factory warranty for the number of days they were deployed to account for the balance of the remaining warranty period. If the warranty on any of their Harley-Davidson or Buell motorcycles expired while they were deployed in the designated areas, Harley-Davidson will offer additional warranty coverage for a period of time equal to the length of their deployment, but not to exceed the original factory warranty period.

Harley-Davidson and Buell owners who believe they are eligible for Operation Extend the Ride should see their local dealer upon return from deployment. Service men and women will need to provide the dealer with a copy of their orders or a signed statement from their Commanding Officer that specifies the period of time for which they were involved in active duty.

Harley-Davidson, Inc. is the parent company for the group of companies doing business as Harley-Davidson Motor Company, Buell Motorcycle Company and Harley-Davidson Financial Services. Harley-Davidson Motor Company produces heavyweight street, custom and touring motorcycles and offers a complete line of motorcycle parts, accessories, apparel and general merchandise. Buell Motorcycle Company produces sport motorcycles in addition to motorcycle parts, accessories and apparel. Harley-Davidson Financial Services, Inc. provides wholesale and retail financing and insurance programs to Harley-Davidson/Buell dealers and customers.

BREE ON STEEDS POSTER–Bandit,I sent a big tube of posters to you today, UPS, to the Wilmington compoundaddress. You should see them on Thursday.The one in the middle of the batch is signed for you and Nyla. The rest arefor you to distribute as you see fit.

Thanks again for spreading the word. We’ll see you soon up in Cincy. Idon’t even have a jacket for -15…do you?

John

Time to wrap up and head to Pedro for the tail-end of First Thursday.

As Jose mentioned earlier, our condolences go out to anyone who?s suffered from the horrific Tsunami in Asia. It really makes me stop and appreciate all that I have, my loved ones. Time is so precious; moments should not be wasted on hate and superficial acts of carelessness or greed. Don?t waste any more time, let the ones closest to you know how important they are. Hug and kiss them while you can.

Layla

Continued From Page 1

EYECANDY CUSTOMS ? TAILIGHTS–Bandit,You featured one of our bikes a few weeks ago on your site. It was theEyecandy Custom Cycles Black/Blue chopper. Check out our taillights. We currently have the model A and Caddy ones available(the caddy picture attached is an unfinished unit). I have had some greatresponses from people looking at your site.

Thanks Vincent
vince@eyecandycustomcycles.com

DALLAS CHOPPER SHOW–Weather Looks GREAT This SUNDAY forThe 2nd Annual DALLAS CHOPPER SHOW & Swap Meet SEE TEXAS BEST – Home Built – Shop Built – Manufacturer Built Choppers & Vote For Your Favorite for – Peoples Choice

CHECK OUT – Bargains on Accessories & Parts – Giant Leather DiscountersUsed Parts – Garage “Clean Outs” – Lifestyle Accessories – Jewelry – NoveltiesDrag Racin? Motorcycle Display – Wall to Wall Good Deals – accompanied by -Mad Max & Max Attack – “Rock & Blues, just like we like it” –

DOOR PRIZES – FREE PAVED BIKE PARKING – “right up front”

WHEN – THIS SUNDAY JANUARY 9th, 10am-5pm
WHERE – LONGHORN BALLROOM
ADMISSION – $8 ADULTS, $5 5-14, Under 5 FREE
INFORMATION – Show 254-687-9066, Day of Show 214-428-4500
-Vendor Info 254-687-2362 & More on the web WWW.TEXASSCOOTER.COM
LOCATION – Corner of Industrial Blvd. & Corinth.
Take Industrial Blvd Exit from I-30 or I-35 at Downtown Dallas, Go South 5 Blocks on Industrial Blvd. Look fer the COW

Hey folks,Chop-art moto illustration will take a photo of your prized two-wheeled possessionand turn it into an illustration. A great way to display your baby at home or inoffice. You get a finished print, cd with the finished art work as well as a fileto put on your computers desktop. Please contact me with any questions. I look forwardto speaking with you and checkin’ out that sweet ride.

Thanks,
Dave Seymour
Chop-Art

A MESSAGE FROM BULLITT–Sin and all non-harley bikers – Hey lady, it was nice of you to say that Bikernet is an equal oppotunity motorcycle site.Especially when ya got wankers like Jose calling anyone who don’t own a Harley a fucking wannabe.That’s certainly the way to encourage more readers and promote your site to a wider audience.

Keep up the good work Jose.

Whenever I come across guys like this I am constantly reminded of why I DON’T own a fucking Hog.

I always have a good laugh at the Harley guys who go around telling all and sundry that they are “individuals”.Like yeah, sure. Taken a good look at yourselves lately?Black rebel boots, black jeans, black t-shirts, black jackets, black gloves, black open face helmets, black attitudes to riders on other brands of bikes.

You’re just a bunch of clones. Do they manufacture you at a factory somewhere?

Individuals my ass!

Get a life for fucks sake.

On a lighter note. I am just off to Sri Lanka as part of an Emergency Disaster Response Team. Thanks to everyone, Aussie and American and UK who has made a donation or helped out in some way.If you want to see what the Tsunami really did in terms of damage check out the site below;http://www.waveofdestruction.org

Now there’s reports of pedophiles kidnapping young children. We’re really hoping to come across some of these fuckers, it’s chaos over there, a few more bodies won’t attract much attention.

Oh yeah, Jaqhama’s my Bro. He is a REAL biker. He’s ridden more bikes, in more countries, for more miles, than anyone I know. You guys (and gals) should tell him to stop writing his fictional stories and put down some of his real life riding tales. He’s had some adventures!

Got a plane to catch people.
Ride on.
V-Max’s rule.

Laterz
Bullitt.

Bullitt, everyone has there own opinion and I appreciated those of you that take to time and have the nerve to tell us yours. That is what makes Bikernet so unique, you readers and writers. I do think we?re an equal opportunity site, anyone can submit whatever they want and as long as it?s not racial, or in really, really poor taste, We?ll run it. We?ve featured more than just Harley?s here, but basically H-D?s are what we?re all about, and motorcycle riders. I had a thought today, that maybe guys who ride H-D?s should be called bikers, cause they like that, and all other bike riders should be called riders? Just a dopey thought?

As for Jaqhma, he?s the best! I would love to read some real-life stories from him, but in addition to his fiction, not in place of. I enjoy it too much too.

Sin

TSUNAMI SURVIVOR ? LETTER TO A FRIEND OF A FRIEND–So now that we are heading out to sea we feel safe. The scope of what has happened is not even beginning to hit me yet and now I know it will be weeks before it does. To this day I am still unsure if at the time I knew what was truly going on. So we head back to Phuket. Longtails are everywhere, these are local wood boats used for everything. All the drivers are wearing life preservers. The Thais are all really freaking out. I would say that the ocean sucked out and came in over 30 times that day. Not as big as the first three times.

I am now off Chalong Bay and waves are actually coming back out to sea. Some are almost 6 feet high and breaking for hundreds of yards. We start heading north up the west coast to Patong. We are amazed at all the debris floating in the water. Thousands of chaise lounges, chairs, coolers filled with ice and sodas. Ladies purses with cell phones and wallets. Capsized boats, manikins from the clothes shops, refrigerators. The list goes on and on.

Now as we head into Patong Bay we can see the damage to the beach road. The trees are clear the first 30 feet. No leaves or bushes on the shore. Boats are in the trees, in buildings, its so scary. Not one to sit back and relax at a time like this, Jeff and I set the anchor and go into the beach for a closer look. On the way we notice another surf charter boat Freedom, is dragging anchor. We board the boat start her up and move her farther offshore. Then off to another boat for the same reason. As we near the beach it starts to suck again and we get nervous and head back to the wombat. Went to sleep early must be the stress that makes me feel so tired. In the morning we all get up early to go ashore. This will haunt me for the rest of my life. I saw cars and trucks in locations they don?t belong, In swimming pools in the sides of buildings. Dead bodies being loaded into trucks. People walking around dazed. I can?t explain in words what I saw.

Thai ladies in front of the jewelry store digging in the sand for treasure. They had found giant diamond and ruby rings and they where trading with one another based on the size of there fingers rather the value. Amazing! I saw cars that had been stacked on one another 3 high. I was stunned.

Next day I get to the internet. 63 messages from concerned friends and family. The next day 48 and so on. During these two days I get a hold of everyone sending e-mails and watching the news. I can not believe I am alive. How close I came to cheating death. I get an e-mail from Eric, Rob Greens cousin telling me he knows of two people missing from Koh lak. I go straight to all the local hospitals. I get there names registered on the missing persons website. At one hospital I meet a man looking for the same couple. Off to the city Hall. Bodies are being flown in on helicopters and being kept at the city hall till they are identified. Its like a war zone. Consulates are trying to help family members find there families. Billboards with fotos of the missing next to billboards of the dead. The fotos of the dead are so graphic. The faces had the fear of death on them. Eyes popping out of their sockets in sheer terror. It was herd to tell their race from the head trauma. Arms torn off legs missing. Lots had no clothes on as they were sleeping when the wave hit.

In the city hall building computers were set up. I log on to get more info, next to me sits a young couple from Seattle. We start sharing stories. They were staying at the same resort as the people I am looking for. They show me fotos of the resort. I am in shock. They stayed on the second floor. The husband had grabbed his wife and took her up the stairwell and onto the roof. On the roof with them were only ten other survivors. They were the only Americans to make it out alive. I immediately lost hope. I spoke to the American consulate and he had been to Koh Lak the day before. He asked me the names then told me they were not on his list of survivors. Then he said to tell the friends and family to prepare them for the news.

It?s hard to explain how I knew after seeing all that I had seen no one could make it out of this alive. This was the hardest day for me. All the pictures of the dead will forever be in my head. Those poor children playing on the beach one minute, the next gone. More to come. Leo

–From Chris T.

HARLEY DEAL OF THE WEEK–A bone stock 1979 Sportster.It has original paint, new shocks, chrome goodiesand at $ 3700 OBO, it’s a rare offer.An excellent Ladies Choice of ride.Call 772-468-8539 (Home) or 561-252-4608 (Cell)

Bruce, 49, got dealt a bad hand with a nasty Cancer diagnosis this past November, he was given six months…His Flatheads, Super Glide and FLH wait patiently for a progress report from theTampa Bay doctors. He is a brother hailing from Clifton, New Jersey twenty five years ago.His wife Linda needs your prayers. They live in Ft. Pierce, Florida.

Katmandu

How Mercedes Benz got its Logo

Ray Russell

THE PREISTS–Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined tomake this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identifythemas clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store andboughtsome really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, and sunglasses.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist”garb.They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine, andthescenery when a “drop dead gorgeous” topless blonde in a thong bikini camewalking straight towards them. They couldn’t help but stare.

As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said, “Good morning, Father.Goodmorning, Father,” nodded and addressed each of them, then moved on.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?The next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageousoutfits. These were so loud you could HEAR them before you even sawthem.

Once again, the two priests (incognito) settled on the beach, in theirchairs, to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous toplessblonde, wearing a string bikini, taking her sweet time, came walkingtowardthem.

Again, she nodded at each of them, said “Good morning, Father,”andstarted to walk away.

One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and said, “Just a minute,young lady…”

“Yes?” she replied.

“We ARE priests, and proud of it, but I have to know . How in the worlddid you KNOW we are priests, dressed as we are?”

“Father,” she replied, “it’s me, Sister Mary Francis.”

Chris T.

CYCLE EXPO 2005March 18-20Richmond, Va @ The ShowplaceThe Mid-Atlantic’s hottest bike show featuring The Agony & Ecstasy tattoo Convention. Balls to the wall motorcycle mayhem. Hardcore customs, bone stock and classic vintage motorcycles of all make and models compete in over 30 classes for the coveted Excalibur Sword Trophies. $1,000.00 for Best in Show

Live in person direct from The Discovery Channel-

Star of the new hit series Southern Steel; Randy Simpson & Milwaukee Iron
Indian Larry Legacy w/ Paul Cox & Keino
Chopper Madman Suicide Jack www.suicidejack.cc
With special guest- Monster Garage MC and host of Monster Nation- THE BIG SCHWAG!

NOBODY has more variety, unique and bizarre merchandise from the BEST vendors in the industry. Over 100 Leather, jewelry, motor clothes, memorabilia, parts, accessories, patches, trailers, t-shirts and everything else under the sun. If it’s not here you don’t need it! Let’s not forget the dealers and manufacturers in attendance Cycle Expo 2005 has them all! .

Babes? Beauties? Bombshells? FORGET ABOUT IT!!! We got the hottest honeys in the world live and in the flesh for your viewing pleasure pictures, autographs and more!?!?!

Over the years we have showcased the wildest women anywhere like Penthouse Pet and Adult film stars Melissa Wolf, Dana Leigh, Amber Waves, Bodacious Babbette. WWF Bombshell Sable, The Purrfect Angels and much, much more

The Agony & Ecstasy Tattoo Convention at the Cycle Expo has been the backdrop for some awesome art and amazing artists. 25 tattoo booths with 50 feature artists blazing away all weekend long will give every tattoo fan a chance at something new. Find that piece you’ve been looking for or have an original created just for you! The Agony & Ecstasy awaits you.

Red Hot & Smokin’ Bikini Contest $500.00 in cash and prizes. Ladies bring your thongs and show whatcha got. Jell-O Wrestling- what more can we say? Topless Mechanical Bull Riding and strip poker -we have done it all, and Excalibur Productions will always strive to bring you more. We don’t push the envelope we tear it to shreds.

Entertainment is never lacking at the Expo either, over the years Excalibur Productions has set the standard for outrageous entertainment and motorcycle mayhem, with Indian Larry?s Coney Island Sideshow, The Bayonet Brothers, J.J. Steels Faces of Death Stuntshow, WWE Superstars and Discovery Channel Chopper Legends.

This is not a weekend for the faint of heart or weak-kneed ninnies who just want a spin around the block. Excalibur Productions pulls out all the stops to make this a bike show to remember. Don’t worry, security is great and everyone goes home happy. Some content (brief nudity, adult language) may be unsuitable for children so use your best judgment if you plan to visit. Everyone is always very cordial and accommodating so saddle up and putt on in for?The Greatest Show on Wheels. Cycle Expo 2005

Sponsored by- Velocity Vintage Motorcycles, Richmond Harley-Davidson, Milwaukee Iron, Carolina Custom Products, Grumpy?s Customs, High Rollers Seats, MAC Tools Chix Custom Cycles, , Brians Kustom Paint, Metzeler Tyres, Suicide Jack Choppers

Admission $15.00 Kids 12 & under free with adult. For more info call
Excalibur Productions at 804-501-0006
Website: http://www.excalevents.com

Continued On Page 3

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and New Years; we kept things mellow around here.

There seems to be chaos around the world as far as the weather is concerned. Snow in Texas, it rained here for days last week causing a flood outside our building. We barely could get to our cars from the front or the back, all you could do was roll your pants up to your knees and run barefoot till you made to your car. It seemed much worse since the Tsunamis happened right at the same time. We counted our blessings that the water was just surrounding us, and not sweeping us away.

I know it?s been a little stale on Bikernet, but starting next week you?ll see some new articles popping up. I worked on the ?My First Harley? episodes and made each one their own page with separate titles so you don?t have to scroll through each one to read the newest. I have two more submissions that I?ll be launching probably on Tuesday; one from Stealthman and from Johnnie Gutierrez. There?s fiction from Allan Lowson, a bike build from Lucky Devil, and more so hang on.

The news has been a little light lately, I think because lots of businesses close down for the holidays. We haven?t been getting many press releases or product launches. I don?t know about you but I?m really looking forward to next week. Kids go back to school, drywallers and framers come back from vacation and things will get back to normal around here. As my dad use to say, SNAFU ? systems-normal-all-fucked-up. That?s what we are.

Here?s the news?

HALE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS–Nominees are now being accepted for the 2005 Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame’s FREEDOM FIGHTERS HALL OF FAME.

The Freedom Fighters Hall of Fame recognizes the sacrifices individuals across the nation, and world, have made to protect the rights of those who ride. To honor these Freedom Fighters the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame established the nation’s first and only FREEDOM FIGHTERS HALL OF FAME.

You are encouraged to participate by sending the name of an outstanding Freedom Fighter from your state/province/country, along with a brief bio as to why this person deserves to be recognized. Biographical information and credentials should be no more than two pages. All nominations must be received by April 15, 2005.

Please send your nomination by mail or email to:

Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame
PO Box 602
Sturgis, SD 57785
pepper@sturgismuseum.com

For further information contact Executive Director Pepper Massey-Swan, 605.347.2001

FREEDOM FIGHTERS HALL OF FAME
Arizona – Ralph “Sonny” Barger
California – NY Myke, John Paliwoda
Connecticut – Donald “Pappy” Pittsley
District of Columbia – Senator Olympia Snow, Representative Beverly Waters,Tom Wyld
Colorado – Mark Buckner
Florida – Doc Reichenbach
Indiana – Michael Farabaugh
Illinois – Todd Vandermyde
Iowa – Dick “Slider” Gilmore
Kentucky – Jay Huber
Michigan – Angel Burton-Ristau, Representative James BarciaMinnesota – Governor Arnie Carlson, Bob Illingworth, John Sullivan, Bob Summer,Representative Tom Workman
Montana – Glen Fengstad
New Mexico – Dennis “Big D” Watson
North Carolina – Rick Nail
Ohio – Bill Bish
Oregon – Butch Harbaugh
South Carolina – Jesse McDugald
Pennsylvania – Rick Gray
Texas – Sputnik Washington – Swede Matzek
Wisconsin – Wayne Curtin, Senator Dave Zien, Tony “Pan” Sanfelipo, Sue Menard,
Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson, Buck Kittredge
England – Fred Hill, Ian Mutch

AFRICAN BIKE TOURS–Hey there Bandit,I hope that you experienced a restful festive break!Long time since I wrote to you…anyway, my wife and I are in the process of launching a bike touring gig in South Africa, using twin cams mostly, which are being provided for this purpose. What I really need to know, in the interests of stronger business-who in the States would love to come out here to ride around this glorious country on H-D’s and what would it take to lure these folk to do just that?We are going to offer a comprehensive service that includes medical back-up, chase vehicles, professionally plotted routes touching on places of interest with B-plan excursions, and…you get the picture.

I would appreciate anything you may be able to pass my way.

May you go from strength to stronger!

Kindest regards,
Ari de Beer. ( Cape Town, South Africa ).

NEWS FROM WHITEHORSE PRESS– We’re pleased to announce publication on February 1, 2005 of the American Motorcyclist Association’s new book:

RIDE GUIDE TO AMERICA: FAVORITE MOTORCYCLE TOURS IN THE USAhttp://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.php?cn=52&en=en0501&id=amagand to offer a special pre-publication price of $19.95 if you order your copy now. This is a $5.00 savings off the regular $24.95 price, and is available until publication on February 1st.

The new “Ride Guide to America,” edited by the AMA’s Greg Harrison, features more than 35 handpicked trips across the United States, all brought to life with full-color photos, maps, and descriptive narrative of the attractions along the way. Written by popular travel motojournalists Clement Salvadori, Greg Frazier, Bill Kresnak, Lance Oliver, Grant Parsons, Marty Berke, Dale Coyner, Neal Davis, and Bruce Hansen, it brings together in one book their favorite rides in the USA. You’ll want this book to help plan your motorcycle travels — for this year and many beyond.

See for yourself. Reserve your copy of this book now at the special $19.95 price. Then, get on the road and see the best of this wonderful country of ours.

Whitehorse Press
107 East Conway Road
Center Conway, NH 03813-4012
603-356-6556

BLACK OAK ARKANSAS READY TO ROCK–Jim Dandy & Black Oak Arkansas are looking to fill tour dates for 2005!It’s time to get Hot ‘n’ Nasty!!!
Jim or Rickiemailto:rlreynolds333@bellsouth.
901-276-1973
Georgemailto:ggumbo@ipa.net
479-783-0094

S&S Cycle and American Iron Magazine introduce Old School Shovel Tour.–VIOLA, WI (January 4, 2005) All S&S customers are invited to the Broken Spoke Saloon in Daytona Beach, FL on Wednesday, March 9, at 9 p.m., for the start of the S&S/American Iron Old School Shovel Tour. Five builders have been chosen to create five unique and affordable customs based on the new S&S 93″, alternator/generator, shovelhead-style engine. All five builders, and their bikes, will be full features in upcoming American Iron Magazine issues.

The builders are Kevin Alsop of Big Bear Choppers, Big Mike of BMC Choppers, Chica of Chica Customs, Jesse Rooke of Jesse Rooke Customs, and the Indian Larry Legacy, which consists of Paul Cox and Keino. The bikes can be built anyway the builders want, however, they must all conform to the following rules:

Bike must have functional kick-starter.
Bike must have a retail parts price of no more than $20,000. This does not include labor or paint. A build list must be presented so a customer could buy the complete package.
Engine must be installed in the bike “as is”, using all of the original S&S parts, unmodified.
Builders can make the bikes any way they like, but they have to ride them approximately 130 miles from the Akey School in Twin Bluffs, Wisconsin, to the Tri-State Raceway in Earlville, Iowa, on July 9, 2005.

The S&S/American Iron Old School Shovel Tour, including the five bikes and builders, will be displayed at every stop on the S&S ’05 Show Tour (Check out the S&S web site Event Calendar for details) including the Tri-State Raceway in Earlville, Iowa, on Saturday, July 9, 2005 (rain date July 16, 2005) following the “shakedown ride” as well as the Broken Spoke Saloon on Wednesday, August 10, at 9 p.m., in Sturgis during Bike Week. Be there!

Shovels Rule!

S&S Cycle has been a leading manufacturer of Proven Performance V-Twin motorcycle components and engines for over 45 years. George Smith and Stanley Stankos founded the company in 1958 in Blue Island, Illinois. Shortly after the founding of S&S, George, and his wife Marjorie (whose maiden name was also Smith), bought out Stanley Stankos and Smith & Stankos became Smith & Smith (S&S). In 1969, S&S moved from Blue Island to Viola, Wisconsin and expanded to La Crosse, Wisconsin in 2004. This 3rd generation business supplies components and/or engines to several large custom OEs including: American Ironhorse, Arlen Ness, Big Bear Choppers, Big Dog, BMC, Bourget Bike Works, Hellbound Steel, Swift, Titan, Ultra, Vengeance, & Victory (please see the S&S website for a complete listing).

JOANN ?CRAZYHORSE? REPORT–Yeah, I been MIA for a while, but like they say, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” And this pro has had to take a break. One of my favorite books is Hunter Thompson’s classic ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” I’ve never been to Vegas and when the opportunity came up for me to display my little gooseneck hardtail at the NACE trade show in Vegas in Nov, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse. NACE was happening at the same time as the SEMA trade show. For those who have never heard of SEMA, it is the largest (or seems like it) vehicle trade show on the planet, with manufacturers displaying their latest products. There’s everything from wheels to paint to engines, hell the wheel and tire building could take a whole day to go through.

TLC’s show “Overhaulin'” was even filming a live show in front of an audience of anyone who wanted to watch. For any gearhead, it was serious eye candy in every direction. It also meant that nearly everyone in the custom business was in town. I met up and hung out with guys like True-Fire flame artist Mike Lavelle, the legendary street rod painter Art Himsl, larger than life but so down to earth Tom Pruett who slapped some serious paint on Monster Garage, my old friend Jon Kosmoski from House of Kolor, and many other total legendary talents like Craig Fraser and Bob Bonds. One night I was walking down The Strip and ran into extreme customizers Bob Soroka and George Fulesi of Detriot’s Kustom Haus. And when you stick that many creative and imaginative people in a cartoon town like Vegas, crazy stuff is gonna happen.

One night I hung out with Simon Murray, extreme airbrush artist from Ireland and Nub who does the paintwork for OCC.Looking back at the whole week- I doubt Hunter Thompson could have plotted a more twisted adventure. From my run-in with the Coroner to hanging on the set of Overhaulin’ to the total decadence of the Island Lounge at Mandalay Bay to the drama at the Hard Rock, I may never recover. I’m serious- and I wasn’t even drinking hard and I got into all kinds of trouble.

One thing of particular interest was the fact the Zero Engineering- the wicked chopper builders out of Japan, have a shop in Vegas and on one insane afternoon, I went there and shot pics of 3 of the most evil rides I have ever seen.

To make this trip even more nuts, I trailered my bike out there-alone. Instead of trusting the love of my life to some trucking company I drove 2300 across the country and that in itself was worth it. I saw surreal sunsets and sunrises over the prairie. I saw the incredible Petrified Forest and the Meteor Crater and viewed scenery that looks to be not of this world. I went from the hot plains to snow covered mountains in 3 hours. I saw crazy chopper freaks in Albuquerque doing wicked stunts on the interstate at 1 am. I drove across the plains of Texas singing sad songs after it was all over.

Upon hearing my tale a few weeks later at the CBA swap meet, my friend Steve said, “You need to write a book about it. Fictionize it a bit, but that is one twisted tale.” So I may just do that. Of course I can never tell the whole story, the real story. The old saying, “What happens in Vegas- Stays in Vegas,” seems quite appropriate after losing my Vegas virginity. It’s been sorta of a struggle going back to my real life after that trip. Like that insurance commercial about how life comes at you fast. In Vegas, everything seemed to be in slow motion, like watching a train wreck and being powerless to look away.

I will have a full report written up on my trip to Zero Engineering for The Horse and a bit about the trip itself. As for the rest, I’ll leave the secrets where they lie. Where they will lurk until next year’s SEMA show. Cool cars, trucks and bikes, the most extreme paint I’ve ever seen, and drama up the ying yang- I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.

I did get to do some riding this new year. Actually took the old sporty out New Years Day. The weather here in the Carolinas was unreal, nearly 70. I pulled over to take a break at this ancient gas station and it seemed like bikes were going by every 5 minutes. It was as if everyone with a bike in the Carolinas was out there. There were even a few pretty large packs of bikes going by.

But my main focus has been working on my new book and getting 3 bikes ready for the Easyriders Show here in Charlotte in 3 weeks. It will be a 2 day show this year. After the V Twin Expo in Cincinnati will be cranked up. I’ll probably be there as my publisher will be displaying my first book. Hope to run into a bunch of old friends there. But all I can say is that 2005 looks to be a very twisted year for me, brutal bikes going together, evil paint ideas brewing and who knows what else. All I know is by the time Bike Week rolls around, I will be very ready for a long break, hanging with Goth Girl and Sammy Morgan at the Wall of Death. Bummer part is Larry won’t be there this time. No, I take that back. His spirit will always be alive at The Wall.

Crazy Horse

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET LONE BUILD-OFF–Hey Bandit, This is the final product before it gets painted.

ChopperJohn

Patdown modified for female passengers–
ASSOCIATED PRESS

WASHINGTON — In response to numerous complaints from women, the government has ordered airport security personnel to avoid touching female passengers between their breasts when performing patdowns.

Security screeners now will keep their hands to the “chest perimeter” of women unless detection equipment picks up the possibility that they are hiding explosives between their breasts.

The new method takes into consideration passenger discomfort while remaining steadfast in mitigating risks, said Transportation Security Administration spokesman Mark Hatfield.

The nation’s 45,000 screeners are being told to pat down the perimeter of the chest, backsides and abdomen, effective Thursday.

TSA has made other modifications. Last week it began allowing passengers to lower their arms after the first part of a search so they can be more comfortable.

Women have complained about the intrusiveness of the searches. “This reduces some of the anxiety that some passengers have expressed,” Hatfield said, adding that the change does not weaken security efforts.

Roughly 2 million passengers a week are patted down. Some are searched this way after setting off metal detectors twice; others are chosen by computer.

Rogue

ZACHARY OR CHOPPERS–Hi Bandit, I’m looking for help finding a custom shopper shop. A while back, I saw an ad in one of the bike mag’s for a custom chopper shop, (frames and bikes). Since then, I have not been able to find the ad or remember the website name. What I remember is the word’s “zachary” and “chopper” were in the name. I’ve searched google, but have not been able to find anything.

Any help would be great.

Robert

SBK Fast Dates World Superbike Angels are Feelin’ Lucky–SBK Corona World Superbike Championship Renews Fast Dates Calendar Endorsement
Los Angeles, CA, Jan 1st 2005: The FastDates.com Calendars and Website is proud to announce that FGSport has renewed the SBK World Superbike Championship’s endorsement of the the Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar for 2005 to cover the upcoming 2006 Fast Dates Calendar, currently in production. The endorsement is part of a mutual promotion between SBK and FastDates.com in which the new 2005 SBK Corona Extra Superbike World Championship logo and the top factory superbikes will be featured in the 2006 Fast Dates Calendar, on the FastDates.com Website and in all related advertising for the calendar.

Along with SBK’s endorsement of the Fast Dates Calendar, the beautiful FastDates.com Calendar Angeles calendar models are the officially SBK Fast Dates Calendar Girls. The Fast Dates Calendar and FastDates.com Website with Pit Lane News provides excellent coverage of the SBK Corona Extra World Superbike Championship, with FastDates.com supported by a featured banner link on the official SBK Website at WorldSBK.com.

Along with SBK, the Fast Dates Calendar is sponsored by Performance Machine, the leader in aftermaket billet machined wheels and controls for motorcycles; and Jardine Performance, manufacturer of high performance motorcycle exhaust systems as used by Team American Honda.

SBK superbike fans can still look forward to complete race coverage on the FastDates.com and WorldSBK.com websites, while enjoying the top factory superbikes and beautiful SBK Fast Dates Calendar Angels featured in the Fast Dates Calendar. The Calendar ordering information is also online at FastDates.com.

Gianatsis Design Associates and , publisher of the FastDates.com Calendars. just concluded the photography for the 2006 Feelin’ Lucky Garage Girls Calendar featuring 3 very beautiful current and former SBK Fast Dates Calendar Angels: Andra Cobb (2006), Chandi Mason (2005) and Taylor McKegney (2000). The shoot took place on a garage style set in the Gianatsis Design studio with Creative Director and Photographer Jim Gianatsis, makeup and hair by Lisa Rukus, all styled to the well known Garage Girls theme of sweaty and grimy, scantily clad “Beautiful models hard at work without the motorcycles getting in the way!”

Garage Girls and the other FastDates.com Calendars including Fast Dates and Iron & Lace are available from most major motorcycle product distributors through your dealer and online at FastDates.com.

Calendars are available through Parts Unlimited, Motorcycle Stuff, Van Leeuwen, Lockhart-Phillips at your local motorcycle dealer, or phone USA1-800-461-1226 or order online at http://www.FastDates.com.In England phone Crossbow Calendars at 181-669-6400.

This is what I call an Esky!!!

Happy New Year, Ray Russell

BIKERNET GERIATRIC MOMENT–

A biker stops by the local Harley shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the livestock store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. Whle he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?”

The biker said, “Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. I would walk you home, but I can’t carry this lot”. The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand?”

“Why thank you very much,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way home he says, “Let’s take my short cut and go down the alley. We’ll be there in no time.” The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?”

The biker said, “Holy smokes lady! I”m carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?” The lady replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”

BIKERNET FREE CONTEST WINNERS– I know I haven?t chosen any in a while, and for that I apologize. That?s why a chose a few for the contest in the free section and a few from the Cantina contest. Speaking of Cantina, the price has gone down to $5.00 per year.

Click to subscribe!

That?s pretty damn cheap considering you can read K. Randall Ball?s book in their entirety in there. And, see naked and almost naked women. Not bad? OK, for your winners I give you:

ROBIN BURTON-JENKINS – OCOEE, FL
Suggestion: IT DON’T MATTER WHAT YOU RIDE. IT JUST MATTERS THAT YOU RIDE. SO LETS GET BACK TO ACKNOWLEDGING OTHER RIDERS ON THE ROAD.
Wanted:ANYTHING, YOU GUYS KICKS ASS

I?m gonna send him a book. Not sure which one yet but probably Billy Lanes new book. Hey Robin, if you?d rather have a t-shirt, you better shoot me an email. sinwu@bikernet.com

IVAN MANZANARES – HAGERSTOWN, MD. Suggestion: IT BOTHERS ME THAT IN THE BAR HANGOUT WHEN PEOPLE SAY “BIKER FRIENDLY” AND THEN IN THE NEXT SENTENCE THEY SAY NO COLORS. TO ME IT AIN’T BIKER FRIENDLY IF THEY DON’T ALLOW IN PATCH HOLDERS, SO DON’T LIST THEM IF THEY DISCRIMINATE AGAINST THE PATCH.

Wanted: T SHIRT WILL BE FINE THOUGH I DON’T EXPECT TO WIN, CUZ OF MY BITCHIN. SIZE IS XXL C YA PITBULL

Ivan, you get a shirt and expressing your opinion here at Bikernet does not constitute bitchin. Telling us we suck, that?s bitchin.

SHANNON MEADOWS – DELMAR, MD
Suggestion: MAKE YOUR WEB SITE FREE TO VEIW ALL OF THE PAGES AND U WILL PROBABLY GET MORE PEOPLE LOKKIN AT IT
Wanted: FREE GIRLS PICS

Shannon, most of the site IS free and we get about 300,000 of you fine folks a month that take a peak at Bikernet. If that?s not enough, tell your friends to come check us out. Oh, as for the girls, sorry, you gotta pay.

RICK HODEK – GRAND FORKS, ND
Suggestion: IT WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU COULD HAVE A SECTION WHERE PEOPLE COULD SEND IN PICTURES AND TEXT SHOWING THEIR HOME GARAGE/SHOPS. MAYBE EVEN SPECIAL TOOLS OR EQUIPMENT, BOUGHT OR HOME MADE,THAT MAKES IT EASIER TO WORK ON BIKES. SUCH AS LIFTS, BENCHES, JIGS, ETC.
Wanted: BANDITS ORWELL BOOK, ANY BIKE RELATED T-SHIRTS.

Hey Rick, you should know by now that we?ll run just about anything you guys and gals want to send us. Why don?t you send us your set-up and we?ll see if anyone follows? This site is for the readers, by the readers. Better send me an email with your shirt size. sinwu@bikernet.com

And For The Cantina Winners–

Ron Dankmyer – Fargo , ND
Wanted: cheap dig camera to take nudes of the ole lady, hat to cover my shaved head, two flat black mirrors for my ride, a book to read during down time….

I?ll send you a book?

Anson Alexander – Houma, LA
Wanted: Bikernet Beanie Bikernet T-shirt(size XL) Bandit Day / Bed roll,That you keep Bikernet rolling in 2005!

Thanks Anson, we plan to keep going for as long as you keep comin? back!

Skooter barnes – Sturgis, south dakota
Wanted: well im still tryin to find a ball cap,, my G.M.R.M/C support cap is wore out..

Hey Skooter, I?m gonna send you about five hats. Hang on?

DENNIS McLEISH – DEDHAM, MA
Wanted: T-SHIRTS, RIDIN GLOVES, CAN OF TUNA (IN SPRING WATER,NO OIL PLEASE)

You got it, Dennis. A t-shirt and riding gloves it is.

Thanks to all who enter and keep it coming. You never know if next time it will be you who the winner.

THAT’S A WRAP FOR 2004–Here’s the plan in a chromed toolbox. I’m going to pump life into Hot Bike, upgrade the techs, specials, evenbike features. We’ve brought a solid number of Freelancers (Frank Kaisler,Rogue, TBear, Jim Houck ‘agent Zebra’ and more) on board to assist and givethe readers a wider range of talent and coverage. Hot Bike will cover thehottest action, tech, bikes and stories in the industry-that’s our motto.Street Choppers is going to take on more attitude and old school chopperswith a few of the new thrown in. If you’re into flat black, this is yourmag. And Hot Rod Bikes will become the industry Tech Bible. It’s all abouttechs and how-tos from wide tire installations to fuel injection upgrades.If all goes well Bikernet will remain the same in many respects and become aconnection for you to reach the mags, to see what’s happening behind thescenes, to receive teasers about up coming issues and see some of thehottest material archived for your future enjoyment.

That’s the initial plan, or the overall scheme. On top of that therewill be special issues, tech books and girls. That brings me to a story.Last night I put the Letters column together for the may issue. The word isout about girls in Hot Bike and my involvement. Many are excited, about thechanges. Some are offended, some cut the pictures of girls out of the adsand send them to me with passionate complaints. Isn’t that discrimination,if we left them out all together? Well bullshit, girls will be in Hot Bike,also the passion associated with tearing up the streets will be represented.We’re not producing a magazine about toasters or plain jane hubcaps, this isabout motorcycles, choppers, dream machines that take riders far away forordinary life.

I’m dying to see how people respond to the first issue. Some whoread my first editorial are terrified that I’m only going to run articleswith naked women and techs about rolling joints. It’s wild, so hang on andlet’s see what happens next. Have a helluva 2005 and I promise one thing forcertain, Never a Dull Moment.Ride Forever,–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

BIKER PROS IN THE NEWS–Biker Pros Wins Roadmax Transmission Contract with Biker’s Choice
Southlake, Texas – December 29, 2004 – Biker Pros, the supplier of Roadmax transmissions for the American motorcycle builder, has completed negotiations with Biker’s Choice to become their primary transmission supplier.

Walter Clark, Vice President of Biker’s Choice, said, “Biker’s Choice is on the lookout for high-value high-quality products. Roadmax provides value to the dealer through healthy gross margins, and to the end user with a quality product that is competitively priced.”

Roadmax transmissions are designed for OEM replacement, kit bikes, as well as high-performance and wide-tire applications. Roadmax transmissions are thoroughly tested and have passed a rigorous pre-delivery inspection.

“A significant share of the custom bike market wants and needs bigger engines, more horsepower, bigger tires and right-side transmissions,” stated Bob Kay, President, Biker Pros. “Roadmax is the biker’s choice for these high-performance custom motorcycles and show quality choppers.”

“We conducted our due diligence in evaluating the product line,” explained Clark. “The performance, quality, fit and finish is exceptional. So much so that we replaced our own proprietary transmission with the Roadmax. All of our kit bikes come equipped with Roadmax.”

Biker’s Choice is one of the world’s leading distributors and marketers of name-brand parts, accessories and apparel for the American motorcycle aftermarket. Biker’s Choice is run by dedicated, life-long bikers who understand the American motorcyclist.

“We are delighted to have Biker’s Choice on our team,” said Kay. “They provide high quality products and deliver after-the-sale service that dealers need and deserve. The crew at Biker Pros is looking forward to working alongside them to build a winning team.”

Biker Pros is serving the American motorcycle builder with a range of high-value products and services that assist builders in improving motorcycle performance by providing high quality parts, troubleshooting powersports operations and building and marketing exclusive products by builders for the v-twin marketplace.

Contacts:
For further information please contact the Biker Pros Press Office:
Jeffrey Najar: 760-765-4734, pr@bikerpros.com
For information on Roadmax transmissions please contact Bob Kay: (
(817) 421-1333
bkay@bikerpros.com

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Well, I guess this is the last news of 2004. In a couple days we will be fucking up checks with the wrong date. Some will be tossing and turning with a nasty ass hangover, and some will be welcoming whatever the year brings and saying farewell to whatever the old year did and what we did not like.

I remember saying last week that I was not going to rant, although I did a bit, this week for sure I won’t. I know you guys follow the rants, but we still have 52 more weeks for that, so let’s take this one to just say what I want to say.

I don’t really know if it’s just me or whatever has being going on, but this Holiday season did not feel like Holidays at all. I remember, and remembering is not such a good thing, when as younger guys our Holidays started the 18th of Dec or so and ended by the 18th of Jan or so. Sure back then our worst worries was a book report or something along those lines. But as soon as school was out it was time to go party, sleep late and party some more, then go surf, or maybe travel and keep on going. Just a slight reminder, Puerto Rico winters are almost the same as the summers, weather does not dictate a marked difference. Although there’s still 24 hours to a day, and forever will be, it seemed like we had a lot more time. Time to go get gifts, party, surf, sleep and basically just be bums.

But one thing that always marked any Holidays was the difference in the people?s spirit. We would go in the water (to surf) and everyone we knew at the lineup would say the Feliz Navidad de rigueur, it was kind of a brotherhood. We got to see people that we had not seen in some time (Winter being the big wave season) or just our friends who went to school abroad and came back home. The same goes to going riding, a bunch of us would gather, get our bikes and go everywhere on them, and I mean every fucking bar, party, wedding or whatever it was. I still remember a few years back that we rode our bikes every single day through the whole Holiday season, and it never rained.

Part of all that was the different family parties up in their “country” houses or farms. We would ride up and then come back to the city to party some more. As we got a bit older, it was cool to get together with friends who came back from college, and even cooler when they brought fellow female classmates to spend their vacation here. We had a very tight circle of friends, in the thousands, everyone kind of knows everyone here. Alas, we grow up, there’s shit that needs to be done, our parents age, people get married, you know, what we call life. Things change, people change, people leave us, people die and some are born. Time is still those 24 hours, but we don’t seem to find the actual time to accomplish half of what we were able to. We compromise, move, get new shops, have debts, kids, and all the stuff that we already know, but are we still the same people of years ago?

That is a very good question, and something that we need to ponder with this upcoming year. In this trip that we call life we find new friends, do different things and we loose friends and family. It?s all part of a process or master plan that someone with way more power than us has schemed. I guess that’s part of why I hate my birthday; while I get older, I know a lot of the people I love will get older as well, and only time will tell when they won’t be with us no more. Life is a gamble.

But not all is gloom, we have very good days, we live by accomplishments, some very large some very little, but every single day that we manage to go to sleep, and then wake up in the morning (or later as is my case) we have accomplished something. We have gained, be it money (which is irrelevant) be it knowledge or be it growing as human beings.

I really don’t understand my position in the motorcycle industry, but I would have never , ever imagined that I could reach where I am right now (where ever that is). I’m sure many of you have goals to reach, which can be similar; no matter what you do or what it is, time is against all of us, but also time is the only thing that we have to be able to grow…. what a contradiction.To those who sometimes feel despair, there?s an old Spanish saying that loosely translates into God tightens the grip but won’t strangle.

There’s many things to thank for; there are many good friends who are not with us anymore. The New Year seems like just a change of numbers, but depending on what we make of it, it could actually be life changing. Simply we can never give up, we grown day by day, ’till we can’t grow no more, and that my friend is when we cease to exist. The friends that are gone are missed every day, but that brings us closer to the ones that are still with us. The same goes with family, bad times makes us stronger and the bond tightens.

I really don’t feel like bringing anyone down for the New Year, but I guess it’s just something that was making me think, and you know that means trouble. The day after Christmas I went surfing with a couple friends, and it was a strange feeling that started all these thoughts. It triggered the memories. But you know what? As familiar faces started paddling into the lineup, the feliz Navidad started rolling again and I did realize one thing, we can’t go back since we have a whole new set of friends, life and loved ones to live with into the future.

Don’t get me wrong, I am really looking forward into the New Year and what will happen, what will we reach, the trips, the builds, anything and everything that life throws at us. One thing for sure, it will always be interesting and it will always be a challenge.Maybe I will have more time, maybe I’ll finally make it to Japan, back to Hawaii or whatever, but most important is health.Anyway…Since I guess I?m getting boring, to everyone here, all the readers, my family, my friends, customers, girls, those who hate me, their mothers and everyone and anyone, the best New Year ever !!!!!

Give your good looking girls a big kiss for me, and thanks to everyone that in one way or another has affected my life in 2004 , for good or bad. I will see you all next year.

Jose De Miguel ? Bikernet Caribbean Reporter/Philosopher

More bikers are dying as boomers rev ’em up–
The Arizona Republic
The number of motorcyclists dying on Arizona roads has dramatically increased in the past five years, in part because new riders and veterans who haven’t ridden for years are hitting the streets without proper training, experts say.

A flock of new urban professionals and older returning riders are ill-prepared to handle the rigors of more powerful bikes and crowded streets, they say. Add to that unlicensed riders, alcohol impairment and inattentive motorists, and it means more deaths and injuries.

The number of Arizona motorcycle fatalities jumped 46 percent, with 111 deaths in 2003 compared with 76 deaths in 1999, according to an Arizona Republic analysis of Arizona Department of Transportation data. Nationally, the number of deaths is up 73 percent from 1997 to 2003, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

The peak year for Arizona motorcycle fatalities was 1979, with 134 fatalities, three years after the state’s short-lived helmet law was repealed. From 1979 to 1986, there were more than 100 motorcycle fatalities each year, according to Jim Williams, ADOT traffic records manager.

Experts still say helmets are vital, but today they’re just as likely to point to the type of people taking up riding to explain the increase in accidents.

“There’s an influx of retired folks that rode when they were in high school and gave it up, raised a family and now are returning, but the motorcycles and the dynamics are completely different,” said Dick Studdard, chairman of the Arizona Motorcycle Safety Advisory Council.

Arizona has seen a 37 percent increase in motorcycle licenses and registrations in the past five years, according to the state Motor Vehicle Division, but fatalities are rising at a faster clip. “It is part of what is going on nationwide,” Studdard said. “It is not just more motorcycles, it is more untrained motorcyclists.”

Arizona Motor Vehicle Division spokeswoman Cydney DeModica agrees that training is lacking. “What we are seeing is young professionals who have kind of adopted motorcycles as their hobby, and they are able to afford the really upscale bikes,” she said. But a lot of them are skipping the training.

“They are new to motorcycles and don’t realize they can be virtually invisible to a large SUV and not as easy to see as a car, SUV or pickup truck, simply because they are smaller,” DeModica said.

“Hold up a deck of cards, flat side toward you. This is a private passenger car… Turn the card sideways, and this is a motorcycle.”

Dr. Scott Petersen, St. Joseph’s Hospital medical director of trauma services, said the mortality rate of motorcycle crash patients has remained about 5 percent over the past several years, with most dying in the first 24 hours from head injuries.

But he said the hospital has seen an increase in helmet use, from 30 percent of patients in 2002 to 48 percent in the first half of 2004. And he said the presence of alcohol in the blood of patients has decreased from 26 percent in 2002 to 22 percent in 2004.

“The trend is in the right direction. Maybe motorcycle drivers are getting to be a little more responsible,” Petersen said. “The good news is, helmet use is going up, and we are getting the message across despite the fact we have repealed our helmet law.”

But few topics are as hot in the motorcycle world as a helmet law. Advocates say they save lives while detractors say wearing a helmet is a matter of personal freedom.

Arizona doesn’t have a helmet law for adults but does require one for riders under 18. Twenty states, including Washington, California, Oregon and Nevada, require helmets for all riders.

“I feel unsafe when I wear a helmet because a helmet is going to weigh too much and impair my hearing and vision,” said Ray Huston, 57, of Glendale, the state vice chairman of the 1,200-member Modified Motorcycle Association of Arizona, a rights organization.

“We feel we are adults, and we can choose how we ride.”

Richard Fimbres, director of the Governor’s Office of Highway Safety, said the absence of a helmet law draws some riders to the state.

According to ADOT data, 67 of 111 motorcycle riders and passengers who died in crashes in 2003 were not wearing helmets. Nationally in 2003, 52 percent of fatally injured motorcycle riders were not wearing helmets, according to NHTSA. In 2002, helmet use is credited for saving the lives of 1,005 motorcyclists, and an additional 579 more could have survived if all motorcyclists had worn them, NHTSA estimates.

Rogue

BIKERNET BLOND MOMENT–Jody the Blond runs crying into the house.

“What’s wrong?” gasps her best friendCarol.

“It’s my boyfriend,” gushes Jody. “He was working on theengine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off afinger!”

“My god,” shrieks Carol. “Did it amputate his wholefinger?”

“No, thank goodness,” sniffs Jody. “But it was the one justnext to it!”

Rogue

BT SHIFTER REPORT–Bandit, Hope you had a great Christmas…..

I am off his week, so with all the rain we are having I finally got aroundto putting on my Hand shifter….Stone shifter and 1918 foot clutch…

Changed to a solo seat, now just waiting for the P-pad to get here.

Have a great New Year

Bob T.

2005 COLORADO MOTORCYCLE SWAP BUILD-OFF–Bandit-I wanted to let you know that the bike that Redhill Motorcycle Werx is building for the 2005 Colorado Motorcycle Swap Build off, valued at $50,000, will be raffled off on March 5, 2005 to benefit the Tiny Tim Center in Longmont Colorado. We will be selling 1000 tickets at $50 a piece between now and then which can be purchased at Redhill Motorcycle Werx or you can purchase them over the phone at (303)823-6363, we expect to sell them quickly so get your tickets today!

The Bike:

I don’t want to give too much away but the fenders, tank, oil bag, exhaust as well as a large portion of the frame were handfabricated in the shop at Redhill by Scot Ross and his team of builders. You can be sure that you haven’t seen a bike like this before and it will have a BIG engine assembled in house and the paint, done by Phil Greff of Black Canyon Custom Paint will be unique with a lot of detail. As with all of there bikes it will be a head turner.

The Shop:

Redhill Motorcycle Werx, located off Highway 66 in Lyons, caters to all motorcycle enthusiasts, stocking everything from t-shirts to transmissions. There exceptional service department has incorporated a power commander dynomometer and has an in house paint shop, Black Canyon Custom Paint. They have participated in the Cherry Creek Arts Festival the “Art On Two Wheels Exhibit” for two consecutive years, bringing the art of motorcycles to the masses. They were recognized nationally in 2004 as a Dealernews Top 100 motorcycle shop . Redhill has also been seen on all of the local Colorado television stations, featured in Southwest Scooter News, Sturgis Rally News, Quick Throttle Magazine, Rocky Mountain Rider and Thunder Press along with being photographed by world renowned motorcycle photographer Michael Lichter and featured in the January 2004 issue of the international motorcycle magazineV-Twin.

The Charity:

Since 1956, the Tiny Tim Center has been a valuable and vital resource for young children with special needs and their families from the Longmont area and surrounding communities. The Center offers equal educational preschool experiences to ALL children, regardless of disabilities or challenges.

The Center also specializes in working with children with special needs birth to 12 years of age – offering pediatric language and motor therapies in the home or other community sites as well as working with a local teen parenting program.

Tiny Tim is a one-of-a-kind jewel providing nurturing, structure and a safe learning environment for our most precious resource – our children.

If you have any questions about the bike, the shop or the charity, please send me an e-mail of call me at (970) 227-3588.

Thanks,
Ken

Continued On Page 3

Happy Goddamn New Years

Talk about a whacky year. Bikernet grew almost 200 percent in 2004,and we had a blast putting it together, although it became like publishing adaily. In the middle of the night we worked on articles, on Sundays, betweenfootball games, while we worked on bikes or dealt with the cops. It becameour mission to cover everything. Sin bitched at me for not documenting aproject in the garage, including my oil tank installation on the SturgisChopper Project. Hell, sometimes the welder’s buzzing, the grinder’sscreaming and I’m trying to plan an installation, make measurements, holdone part while I tack another and forget the digital camera. There’s timeswhen I’m covered in grease and run into her office to grab the camera andthere’s no memory card in it or the batteries are dead. I should wear abandelero of AA batteries constantly.

The site has grown thanks to all the readers and a number ofdedicated contributors I would like to mention including Rogue, FrankKaisler, Jose, Stealthman, Ken Miller, John Covington, George Fleming, RFR,Al Mroz, Bob & Chris Tronolone, Skooter, Jaqhama , Josh Griffith, Krylon John, Buster, Marilyn Bragg, Crazy Horse, Katmandu, Kevin Baas, the crew at Lucky Devils in Austin, Texas and many more I?ll think of after I?ve launched the news. There were dedicatedreaders such as Johnny, George Lamb (Thanks George), Concrete Pete, Fritz, Hiwayman, Art Parry, Uncle Monkey … Ofcourse we couldn’t launch articles in a timely fashion without the technicalassistance of the Digital Gangster and Brian Hale, our web server guy. Andwithout my babe, Layla, and her girlfriends, well you know. It just wouldn’t beworth while.

So it’s been nuts this year with our growth, Monster Garage, and nowthis Hot Bike gig. I’m writing this from my walled in office in a high risenext to Disneyland and the Anaheim Stadium. We can watch baseball games fromthe windows and fight the Anaheim pond traffic to reach the office. It’s adifferent world here from the LA port industrial enclave and the ricketyBikernet headquarters. Let’s hit the news then I’ll tell you about my plansfor 2005.

COUNT?S KUSTOMS SIGNS ON AS THE TITLE SPONSOR OF VEGAS SPRING RUN POKERWEEKEND 2005– $250,000 Poker Run WeekendDecember 24th, 2004 Las Vegas, Nevada – Count?s Kustoms of Las Vegas has signed on as the titlesponsor for ?Vegas Spring Run? ? to be held April 22 &23, 2005 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Count?s Kustomsand the famous Golden Nugget casino are the players of the event. ?We?ve been given no guidelines, norules, and no direction by the Las Vegas BikeFest Partnership and we intend to break all boundaries. LasVegas is ?our city? and we can?t think of a better relationship to build than the Vegas Spring Run?, saysDanny Koker, better known as ?The Count? and Owner of Count?s Kustoms.

?We are very excited about the support of Count?s Kustoms and their plans to build the giveaway custombike?, stated Harry Schwartz, President, Full Throttle Events, a member of the Las Vegas BikeFest

Partnership, producers of Vegas Spring Run. The Count added, ?This is going to be a kick-ass bike that fitsthe lifestyle of the high-rollers that will be participating in the Vegas Spring Run?. The bike expects to befitted with The Count?s signature chopper style, which in the past has attracted owners such as Vince Neilof Motley Crue, Ozzy Osbourne and Ultimate Fighter Matt Hughes.

Vegas Spring Run will be a two-day high-rollers? Poker Run unlike any event ever produced before. Inaddition to the chance to win $250,000, participants will enjoy a unique event that includes VIP parties,high-roller treatment, entertainment, custom motorcycle giveaway and some awesome Spring riding in theLas Vegas area.

The Count, owner and founder of Count?s Kustoms, is well known by the Las Vegas community as CountCool Rider, the ?eternally cool? vampire-host for Saturday Fright at the Movies on the WB network, whichhe hosted for 10 years. The 23,000 square foot facility in Las Vegas offers frame-up builds, paint, body andupholstery and houses a merchandise shop. In 2004, the shop has been featured in numerous magazinesworldwide such as Street Chopper and the Robb Report, as well as in television appearances on the SpeedNetwork and MTV.

For more information about Count?s Kustoms or learn more about the bike build, contact Count?s Kustomsat (702) 733.6216, http://www.countskustoms.com, or info@countskustoms.com

For more information about Vegas Spring Run, go to http://www.vegasspringrun.com, or emailpschwartz@schwartzeventgroup.com or call toll free (866) 245.3337. Vegas Spring Run is produced by theLas Vegas Bike Fest Partnership made up of ConvExx and Full Throttle Events.

For information about the Golden Nugget, please contact Sylke Neal-Finnegan at (702) 386.8107,http://www,goldennugget.com, or sfinnegan@goldennugget.com

Technical
Jeff O
Count?s Kustoms
2714 Highland Dr
Las Vegas, Nevada 89109
(702) 733.6216http://www.countskustoms.com
countskustoms@earthlink.net

Media Relations
Albert Ochosa
Rising Sun Media
1052 South 950 East #36
Provo, UT 84606
(415) 577.9394http://www.risingsunmedia.com
albert@risingsunmedia.com

BIKERNET STEALTH REPORT–Well it is New Year’s Eve, eve. For me personally I am glad to see ?o4 come to an end. It has been a tough year for “Meanest” and me. With that I am ready to say good bye to ?04 and hello to ?05.

The weather here has been in the mid 60’s and we are planning a ride for New Year’s day. What better way to ring in the New Year, so if you have a chance get on your bike and burn some asphalt.

I got a good job lead today and I am hoping it pans out. It is in the motorcycle industry and that is where I want to stay.

Looking back on ?04 it seems to have been a tough year for a lot of us in the biker community. We lost Indian Larry and Dave Mann. They would both want us to carry on the biker life style and to celebrate the way they lived.

As for ?05 there are a lot of events planned here in the Charlotte area. January 24th and 25th the Easyriders bike show comes to town. February 19th and 20th the Carolina Super Swap and Bike Show comes to town. June 24th and 25th the Horse Smoke-out comes to town. July 24th , it is time for the 7th Annual Run For Breath “In Memory of Justin Pullin.” It seems that their is a lot coming up for ?05!

It has been a blast here on Bikernet this past year. Thank you Mr. Bandit for allowing me to be a part of it!

Happy New Year to all the staff at Bikernet and to all of the Readers of Bikernet.

Until next time, RIDE!
STEALTHMAN

The Best and Worst of ’04–With 2004 on the way out, we thought we’d take a look back at the best and worst of the year that was, with the first annual AMADirectlink end-of-the-year awards. Not that anyone who wins will actually receive anything, we just thought it would be fun to give accolades or blame to some of the most memorable events in motorcycling over the last year.So without further ado, here are the winners, in no particular order.

The Trademark Lawyer Award for Most Overused Logo–Orange County Choppers takes this hands-down by virtue of having a weekly TV show, commercial endorsements, toys, a video game, coffee, the obligatory assorted apparel, cologne for men, and because Paul, Sr. said so.

The Chopper Builders Without a Publicist Award–With OCC taking so much of the spotlight, you?ve got to give a hand to the hundreds of other bike builders out there making do without the benefit of a TV show. Our local favorite is Bruce Mullins, who continually creates works of art by combining the old-school look with new and inventive styling.

The Austin Powers Award for Restored Mojo–The Triumph Thruxton, with a retro look that actually works really well, too. You can even race it in AHRMA.

The Don’t You Guys Have Anything Better To Do Award–The U.N. declares that traffic deaths and injuries worldwide are an epidemic that needs to be treated as a disease.

The Daffy Duck Revoltin’ Development Award–Scumbags overseas are trying to rip off American motorcyclists over the internet by buying bikes with phony checks, or offering for sale motorcycles that don’t exist.

The First Annual Bill Janklow Award for Incredible Arrogance?Goes to former South Dakota governor and congressman Bill Janklow. Not only did Janklow brag about his speeding while governor, but after serving 100 days in jail for speeding through a stop sign in a Cadillac and killing a motorcyclist, he’s asking the courts to overturn his conviction. Plus, since he was a congressman at the time of the crash, taxpayers will pick up the tab for any civil damages in a wrongful-death lawsuit.

The Miss Clio Award for easy predictions–Whatever happened to Miss Clio, anyway? No matter, since even the infamous TV “psychic” could have picked the champions of several AMA Pro Racing disciplines. Hats off to a trio of racers who have gotten so good they make the difficult task of taking a national title look easy: Mat Mladin in AMA Superbike; Chris Carr (below) in AMA Progressive Insurance Flat Track; and Ricky Carmichael in AMA motocross (despite a knee injury that kept him out of Supercross).

The Saturday Night Live’s Emily Litella “Oh. Never mind.” Award, Part I–After hearing from upset motorcyclists, a California assemblyman sponsoring a helmet-law repeal bill withdrew an amendment to the bill that could have forced motorcyclists to become organ donors against their will. The amendment said that anyone who chose not to wear a helmet “is deemed to have consented to the making of an anatomical gift under this act?”

The Saturday Night Live’s Emily Litella “Oh. Never mind.” Award, Part II–A Chicago Sun-times columnist characterized motorcyclists as organ donors. Motorcyclists weren’t amused, and let him know. As a result, a week later he later wrote: “Every once in a while, in my endearing, oblivious fashion, I swing my journalistic bat and hit a wasp’s nest,” and “As much as I believe that everybody should sign up to be an organ donor?I do and have?it has to be voluntary. We don’t want the government seizing people’s organs against their will.”

The Saturday Night Live’s Emily Litella “Oh. Never mind.” Award, Part III–Thanks to a new mayor who rides a motorcycle, and a revamped City Council, motorcycles are now allowed in Thompson Park in East Liverpool, Ohio, which had a bike ban for many years. Motorcyclists today “are not yesterday’s rebels with or without a cause,” a new councilwoman notes.

The Best State to hold an AMA Supermoto Race Award–Hands down, it’s got to be Nevada. The Silver State played host to not one, but two Supermoto races in ’04, and both were absolutely killer. The Reno round was held right in the middle of downtown, with the racecourse going right in front of the courthouse. And the people lining the track all the way around were the friendliest locals you’ll ever meet at a racetrack. Then there was the Las Vegas finale, held at Bally’s. The glitz of Vegas is the perfect backdrop for the spectacle of Supermoto. Two thumbs up.

The Ponch and Jon Award for the Best Use of Cable TV–Never before have there been so many shows dedicated to motorcycling. Because of that, or due to that, America?s living rooms have discovered what we?ve known all along?motorcycles are cool.

Rockers and Mods Award for Finding a Middle Ground–In 1960s England, we’re told by movies like “Quadrophenia” and “The Leather Boys,” two-wheeled teens fell into two distinct camps?mods rode Vespas and Lambrettas, and rockers rode actual motorcycles. Naturally, for no good reason, the two groups were sworn enemies. Fast forward a few decades to today, and the line between the two types of two-wheeled transport has blurred considerably. This year, we saw scooter giant Piaggio buy up such well-known motorcycle marques as Moto Guzzi and Aprilia, while proper motorcycle companies like Suzuki and Honda are bringing out large scooters like the Burgman and the Silver Wing. It gets harder and harder to find the line between scooters and motorcycles when they keep moving it all the time.

The Close But No Cigar-Shaped Streamliner Award–Sam Wheeler’s E-Z Hook motorcycle streamliner may be the fastest two-wheeler on the planet, with two recorded runs at more than 334 mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats, but thanks to tricky winds at the first International Motorcycle Speed Trials sponsored by Bub in September, the easy-going Wheeler wasn’t able to put in the required second run that would have made that speed an official world record in the eyes of the Federation Internationale de Motocyclisme. He was so close, though. So close. Expect to see the record fall for sure in ’05’s second edition. We’re pulling for you, Sam!

The “Use the Force, Luke” Award–Actors Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman, two motorcycle nuts who used their connections to equip themselves for their around-the-world trip with a cameraman, two support trucks carrying two producers, a doctor, and a native language-speaking “fixer” in each country to handle problems?all of which led 50 percent of the motorcycling television audience to say, “That’s not an around-the-world tour, it’s a parade!”

The Best Use of Obi-Wan Kenobi Starpower Award–Also goes to McGregor and Boorman, who got the film of their journey, “Long Way Round,” on the Bravo channel?leading the other 50 percent to proclaim their gratitude for a motorcycle show on TV that wasn’t about choppers or dysfunctional families dedicated to bolting on chrome accessories.

The Most Impressive Uphill Struggle Award–Chad Disbennett takes this by winning the 2004 AMA Hillclimb Championship presented by Pace American with incredible perseverance, admitted luck and a well-tuned 70s-era 800cc Triumph.

Best Post-Orbit Debriefing Plan–After exploring the final frontier, astronaut and AMA Life Member Duane ?Digger? Carey wins for his plans to explore the planet he floated around. Carey hopes to tour the United States, and eventually the world, by motorcycle.

? 2004, American Motorcyclist Association

Rogue

Damm, it was cold this morning…I think my face is going to fall off…

Storm out there brewing…And I got the week off…

Bob T

GOT ANY PLANS IN MAY?–Hey Bandit, After doing my homework, I came up with the following events that will take place in May ’05. As you can see, May 13-22 is the Myrtle Beach rally and we should not schedule anything during that rally. I propose that we have the party on either May 7, 8, 28, or the 29th. Please let me know your thoughts.

Thanx,
Rick

May ’05 Motorcycle Events

May 01 – May 01 2005 Biker Blessing Tionesta PA USA
May 01 – May 01 2005 Plymouth Bike Blessing Plymouth MN USA
May 07 – May 07 2005 Steve Bartlett Memorial Ride Fayetteville TN USA
May 07 – May 08 2005 The Thundersprint Northwich England
May 12 – May 14 2005 Thunder on the River North Little Rock AR USA
May 13 – May 22 2005 Cruisin’ The Coast Spring Rally Myrtle Beach SC USA
May 13 – May 15 2005 Hawg Holler Bike Fest Atwood TN USA
May 13 – May 15 2005 May Daze Oklahoma City OK USA
May 13 – May 13 2005 Friday the 13th Port Dover ON Canada
May 14 – Sep 14 2005 Wind Blown: American MC Fine Art Marietta GA USA
May 14 – May 14 2005 Cruisin’ with St. Jude’s Conyers GA USA
May 15 – May 15 2005 Ride For Kids(r) Torrance CA USA
May 17 – May 23 2005 Indian Rally at Indian Point Branson MO USA
May 19 – May 22 2005 AspenCash Ruidoso NM USA
May 19 – May 22 2005 Branson Motorcycle Rally Branson MO USA
May 20 – May 23 2005 Wakin’ the Dragon Biker Rally Maryville TN USA
May 20 – May 21 2005 Spring Bike Show Milwaukee WI USA
May 20 – May 22 2005 All American Motorcycle Madness Santa Maria CA USA
May 20 – May 22 2005 Blessing of Bike Festival – 33rd Baldwin MI USA
May 21 – May 21 2005 Blanco Lions Poker Run Blanco TX USA
May 21 – May 21 2005 Wind Blown: March of Dimes Ride Marietta GA USA
May 22 – May 22 2005 Ride for Life Sussex NJ USA
May 26 – May 29 2005 NABB 2K5 2-Wheel Urban Expo Myrtle Beach SC USA
May 27 – May 30 2005 Mid America Freedom Rally Buckhorn/Waynesville MO USA
May 27 – May 30 2005 Fire Up ThundR Out VI La Plata MD USA
May 27 – May 30 2005 Harley Memorial Day Blowout 23rd Gulfport MS USA
May 27 – May 29 2005 Memorial to Veterans Biker Bash North Anson ME USA
May 27 – May 29 2005 Run-A-Mucca Motorcycle Rally Winnemucca NV USA
May 28 – May 28 2005 Thunder Heart II – Poker Run La Plata MD USA
May 28 – May 28 2005 Motorcycles 4 Myelin 2nd Annual Port Perry ON Canada
May 29 – May 29 2005 Rolling Thunder(r) XVIII Washington DC USA

2004 Cocoa Beach Biker Bash– On Nov. 20, 2004, on a pleasant Florida Saturday night, as they have been for the past seven years, the Warlocks of Brevard County, Florida threw their Cocoa Beach Biker Bash. The hurricanes were past, the pressure was off…it was time to party!

Over 800 bros and sisters; patch holders and independents, mixed in with a few yuppies, gathered at Capt. J?s in Cocoa Beach – right ON the beach – to party, and all for a good cause…Big Brothers-Big Sisters of Brevard County, and organization which hooks up with troubled young people, one on one, to help them over the rough spots and assure them a decent start in life.

This year, the sum of $13,100 was realized as a result of the generosity of all the guests and the many sponsors who helped. Live bands, plenty to eat and drink, a beautiful ocean-side setting…all the makin?s of a good party…and it was!! Keep this one in mind for 2005.

Wanna know more…?

Miserable George

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 2

COP P0SING AS BIKER USES DIGUSTING DISGUISE–It wasn’t too difficult for protesters at the Republican National Convention to figure out that a group of bikers following them around were actually undercover cops, but in a misguided effort to conceal his identity, one officer wore a provocative sticker on his helmet that has led to an even louder protest. “Loud Wives Lose Lives,” was the officer’s choice of slogan, a play on a popular biker saying, but the crowd wasn’t amused.

According to the New York Times, armed with a photo of the officer, the New York Civil Liberties Union has sent a letter to the police commissioner asking that “prompt action be taken” to address the matter, especially given several recent deadly episodes of domestic violence against women in the New York region.

But to the New York Police Department, wearing the sticker was a routine part of undercover work. “It’s like saying that an undercover narcotics officer who wears a coke spoon is promoting cocaine use when just the opposite is true,” said Paul J. Browne, the department’s chief spokesman.

It is the latest episode in the back and forth between civil libertarians and the police as the courts wrestle with the handling of protesters before, during and after the convention.

“It’s unfortunate that the Police Department is taking that position,” said Donna Lieberman, the executive director of the New York Civil Liberties Union. “Whatever his function, there is no excuse for a police officer on official business to be a proponent of domestic violence or other violence against women. There are other ways to disguise yourself without this hateful message.”

In their letter to the Police Department, the civil liberties lawyers asked that the message, and any similar ones, be removed from police equipment and that those responsible be disciplined. Referring to the controversial sticker, Mr. Browne said, “Undercover officers often adopt personas to include garb that reflects neither their personal nor the department’s sentiments but to reinforce the guise that they are not police officers.” He added that “offensive as this saying is,” it is not uncommon in “misogynistic biker slang emblazoned on clothing, jewelry and equipment.”

In this case, though, the attempt to avoid being recognized as a police officer appears to have failed. According to one witness, a high school teacher named Mike Schwartz, the march “was followed by a group of undercover cops on motorcycles who looked like they belonged in a bad biker movie,” highlighting the officer with the offensive sticker.

Roguehttp:// http://www.bikerrogue.com

A little gift of humor for you. hope all is well with you and yours! from all us Lucky Devils out here happy holidays !!!

The Devil

Prickly Pear Cactus Offers Hope for the Hungover–New Orleans, LA ? If a hangover is holding you back from another heavy night of drinking, the prickly pear cactus may be your answer.

A study with 55 subjects ranging from 21-35 years of age, conducted by Tulane Health Sciences Center in New Orleans, discovered that extracts from the cactus may dramatically reduce the common hangover.

Half the study subjects were given extracts of Opuniea ficus indica (a type of the prickly pear cactus) and the other half were given a placebo, then encouraged to get drunk on one of an array of alcohols, including bourbon, scotch, rum, vodka, gin, and tequila.

The following morning the subjects who received the extract reported milder hangovers than those receiving the placebo.

Researchers says the extract works by reducing levels of C-reactive proteins by 40 percent. C-reactive proteins are produced by the liver while converting alcohol to blood sugar and are thought to be partly responsible for hangovers.

A commercial versions of the hangover remedy, in the form of pills reinforced with B vitamins, will soon be available to consumers.

Rogue

National ID may be in the cards–
Lance Gay/Scripps Howard News Service | December 17 2004
WASHINGTON – Privacy advocates worry that provisions buried in the intelligence bill President Bush is to sign Friday will lead to a national identification card.

Little-noted measures included in the legislation that reshuffles intelligence agencies order states to begin issuing new fraud-proof birth certificates, and new driver’s licenses with standardized data encoded on them are set for 2006.

The legislation also orders states to stop putting Social Security numbers on licenses.

What data will be included on licenses and how it will be used in federal databanks is not yet clear. The legislation only requires the data to be “machine readable,” leaving the issue of what data to collect to the Department of Transportation and the Department of Homeland Security. Regulations concerning fraud-proofing birth certificates are to be drafted by the Department of Heath and Human Services.

“There’s a problem,” said Marc Rotenberg, a Georgetown University law professor who serves as executive director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center, a Washington think tank.

“There are two directions they can go here. One is to reduce the likelihood of fraud and counterfeiting of driver’s licenses, which we all would applaud. Or they could link this all together in a new national database, which is what they should not do.”

Rotenberg called the measure “not quite half a step towards a national identification card” because its full impact has not yet been determined.

The bill, which Congress adopted earlier this month after stripping out controversial immigration provisions, carries out key recommendations of the 9/11 Commission, including establishing standards for birth certificates and driver’s licenses.

But James Plummer of the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse noted that all but one of the 19 hijackers on 9/11 had valid American identification – including driver’s licenses – and that the changes Congress has ordered wouldn’t prevent terrorists from obtaining the new and more secure documents.

“This is a bunch of troubling language,” said Plummer. “I don’t think this solves the issue at all.”

Plummer said he’s concerned that the measure, for the first time, sets federal standards on documents like birth certificates and driver’s licenses that traditionally have been matters for states to decide.

The legislation states that within two years, U.S. government employees won’t accept any driver’s licenses or birth certificates issued by the states that don’t comply with the new fraud-proof requirements. That means drivers from states that don’t comply with the new requirements will be unable to use their state licenses as identification to get past federal airport screeners and board an aircraft.

“It’s definitely crossing over into a national ID system, something this country hasn’t seen before and something that was more a feature of Eastern European systems during the Cold War,” he said.

Plummer said it raises privacy concerns because driver’s licenses are used today in determining eligibility to conduct many routine activities. It is a basic document used by Americans to vote, buy guns, open bank accounts, cash checks and check into hotels.

Organizations ranging from the American Civil Liberties Union to the American Conservative Union to the Gun Owners of America oppose the measure, saying it would give too much power to federal bureaucrats to decide who could get a valid license.

Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, has concerns about where this could all lead.

“History shows governments inevitably use such power in harmful ways,” Paul said. “It is just a matter of time until those who refuse to carry the new licenses will be denied the ability to drive or board an airplane.”

Rogue

BIKERNET PRODUCT OF THE WEEK FROM KIRK?S CUSTOMS–Kirk’s Customs is proud to announce it’s new Stretched Diamond LEDTaillight/Tag bracket. The unit is designed to be mounted to the outerprimary case, the kicker is this, It is designed to use 4 different mounting options that allow for mounting to all of the following applications:

Starter Jackshaft cover on a 3″ BDL open belt drive
Starter Jackshaft cover on a Primo open belt drive
Stock ’94-up softail outer primary cover
Stock ’94-up softail 5 hole derby cover

The unit sells for $196.00 and is the same price no matter which mount is desired. All specific hardware for each mounting option is included.

We also do One-Off billet parts too! for around the same cost as off-the-shelf parts!

Keep a look out for us, coming in ’05 will be a line of forward controls and several styles of handlebars and risers.

Dealer inquiries welcome.http://www.kirkscustoms.com

Catalog update from Penz–PETER PENZ Original Custombikes has issued an update to its last catalog, listing important new product lines.’Evil Spirit’ is a radical custom frame that can be built as a chopper or a low rider. Similar to the ‘Flash’ frame from Penz, Evil Spirit features a single down tube and revised geometry to give a new, low look as well as a very low seat height. It can be supplied as a basic kit, a chassis or a roller, all with T?V approval.

‘Big Mama’ and ‘Big Daddy’ are right-side drive conversion kits in different styles for installing wide rear tires (up to 300-series) in Softail frames.

Both conversions have T?V certification.

New models of fenders are listed, for both front and rear wheels. The ‘Bison’ range for the rear wheel is offered in sizes suitable for tires up to 300-series.

A new chopper gas tank has been announced, with sufficient hollow space to be cut to length to fit individual frames. Deep mounting holes in the base of the tank help provide a clean look to the finished bike. The tank is supplied complete with two suitable mounts and a pop-up gas cap.The ‘Gnu’ handlebar assembly is made from stainless steel tubing to give a ‘fat’ look but to fit 1in series hand controls. It is supplied complete with a cover to fit a Dakota digital speedometer. There are various options for the basic dimensions of the bars and they can be supplied in raw, primed or polished finishes.

PETER PENZ ORIGINAL CUSTOMBIKES
Altheim, AUSTRIA
Tel: +43 (0)7723 44690
Fax: +43 (0)7723 44691
E-mail: info@penz-custombikes.com
http://www.penz-custombikes.com

THE AVON LADY — An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly she had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with an Avon Pine Scented deodorizer.

Two floors later, a gentleman got on the elevator. He began to sniff, and the Avon lady asked, “Do you smell something?”

“Well, yes I do,” he replied.

“What does it smell like? “she asked.

The bemused gentleman answered, “I’m not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit under a Christmas tree”.

Bob T.

LESSON IN HYDRODYNAMIC LUBRICATION–The film of oil between two moving surfaces such as a crankshaft to a bearing can be described in several phases: boundary lubrication, mixed lubrication, hydrodynamic lubrication and elasto-hydrodynamic lubrication. For purposes of this description the properties we are going to be most concerned with are hydrodynamic lubrication and boundary lubrication.

Hydrodynamic lubrication is the lubrication that is achieved by the movement of the oil. The rotation of the crankshaft forces the lubricant to move into the loaded zone of the bearing/crankshaft. As the oil is forced to move into this loaded zone, the pressure increases and it is this hydrodynamic pressure that supports the crankshaft load. As the load increases the oil film thickness is reduced while increasing the hydrodynamic pressure increases the oil film thickness. Hydrodynamic lubrication is present when two components (crankshaft/connecting rods and bearings) are moving at high RPM. The only property of a lubricant that is important in hydrodynamic lubrication is its viscosity. However, viscosity can vary due to the operating parameters of an engine such as pressure/load, temperature and shear forces.

Boundary lubrication exists whenever the oil film thickness becomes too small to provide a film separation of the surfaces. The oil film has become so thin that there is no hydrodynamic lubrication. This is where the properties of a motor oil, other than the viscosity are very important.

Boundary lubrication can occur when the oil viscosity is too low, the crankshaft speed is too low or the load on the bearing/crankshaft is too high. It can also occur if there is a partial loss of lubricant to the bearing.

Motor oils have to be formulated to provide adequate lubrication and protection during both hydrodynamic lubrication in which the viscosity is the prime consideration and also during boundary lubrication in which the presence of anti-wear and load carrying additives are required.

If the boundary lubrication properties of a motor oil are satisfactory, the oil will perform properly. However, the problem becomes how to engineer a particular oil such that it will maintain the required properties for the specific period of service it is specified for during which time it will be subjected to extreme heat, load, unburned fuel, soot, acid, oxides of nitrogen, water and wear metals and contaminants introduced into the engine from the engines air intake.

The next lubrication training email will address the specifics of exactly what happens to a motor oil during use in an internal combustion engine and what properties are required such that the oil will provide adequate protection.

Sincerely,

Dave Mann
Lubrication Specialist – Truck/Automotive Engineer
Performance Oil Technology, L.L.C.
1-888-879-1362
Detroit Office:
2125 Newport Ct.
Wolverine Lake, MI 48390
Northern Office:
3698 Leeside Lane
Traverse City, MI 49686http://www.performanceoiltechnology.comAOL usersclick here

SEVEN DEGREES OF BLONDE–

FIRST DEGREE A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.” The second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror & says,”You dummy, it’s me!”

THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun,and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!!” The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead and ask me, I know all of them.” A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.

FIFTH DEGREE What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? “Is it mine?”

SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, “That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware..”

SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.”

From Bob T.

WAL-MART–
Two guys are wandering about in Wal-Mart when their carts collide.

One says to the other:

Sorry, I was looking for my wife.

Yeah, so am I, and I’m getting kinda ticked.

Well, let’s help each other out

What’s your wife look like?

“Kinda tall, long red hair, long legs, good boobs, tight butt.

What’s yours look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours.

Bob T.

BANDIT–This is the best yet, it will take your breath away……………………

Turn Sound up!!!

Great stuff……… I only hope that someday they will receive just compensation and reward for the great debt owed them……….http://www.clermontyellow.accountsupport.com/flash/UntilThen.swf

This is my Christmas Card for this year. Ho, baby, hi di ho…

Josh P.

ADULT NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS–
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude.
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, ’cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
“That was some brothel,” he said with a smile,
“The reindeer are pooped, and I’ll just stay here awhile.
He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa’s next find,
And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn’t even mention.
A fuck ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
“This stuff ain’t for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit
So I’ll leave ’em here, and then I’ll just split.”
He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Saying, “Take me home Rudolph, this night’s been a bitch!”
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
“The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!”

Rogue

BIKERNET GRADE SCHOOL LESSON–
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word

“Fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate, not fascinating”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate.”

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate”, so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.”

The teacher cried.

S&S Cycle receives official verification from TUV ? Germany–VIOLA, WI (December 20, 2004) During a recent audit of S&S’ facilities in Viola and La Crosse, WI, ‘Quality Systems’ have met the required criteria for verification in accordance with TUV CERT procedures.

The official document, dated December 20, 2004, states the following:

S&S Cycle, Inc. has introduced and applies a Quality Management System for the following groups of objects: Engines/Exhaust Systems (01) and Steelframes (05). The Quality Management System is in accordance with the requirements of international and German road traffic legislation. The Audit Report No. is 20662508. This confirmation bearing the Registration No. 04102 20041804 is valid until December 19, 2007.

“S&S Cycle’s quality systems are above average and currently exceed the normal requirements to receive verification from TUV”, said engineering consultant Dieter Schleier. “We are excited to support our European customers by exceeding the stringent requirements of TUV Germany, which sets the standard for the European community,” added S&S President Brett Smith. “Since my first trip to Europe this past June, I knew this was a critical threshold for our support of the European market. S&S is pleased to have met the regulatory standards for TUV on our first attempt and it is a credit to our world-class product development and manufacturing processes.”

TUV sets the standard for safety and quality for new and existing products, systems, and services for the European community, with Germany having the most stringent requirements. This TUV verification gives S&S Cycle even more credibility in the European market as business continues to expand internationally.

A copy of this verification certificate can be viewed online at www.sscycle.com in the ‘press release’ page.

BIKERNET TIPS ON HOLIDAY EATING–

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like in single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoyit. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention.

Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

That?s It For The News– Everyone is buzzing around here in preparation for Christmas. I?m excited cause I got my windows installed today?yippee! Best present yet.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend with your family and friends. Say a prayer for our loved ones in Iraq, who cannot celebrate this Holiday season with us. I?ll be praying for my nephew who?s headed back for the second time in two years.

Oh, and don’t forget to have all your pals join the Cantina. It’s only 5 bucks for a year. Hell, it’s cheaper than a stinkin’ oil filter. One problem. Oil filters, filter and we don’t. Join anyway, quick.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Layla & Bandit

Continued From Page 1

LEE PARKS DESIGN RIDING GLOVES–
ByTBear
Renowned Motorcycle Endurance Race Rider, Lee Parks started racing in 1984 on the frozen lakes of the Midwest with an RM80-based ice racer. Since then, Lee has participated in just about every form of road and off-road motorcycle competition and recently earned his first national championship in the 2001 G.M.D. Computrack WERA National Endurance Series in the Lightweight class. Lee also earned the #2 plate in the 1994 AMA 125GP nationals.

Relying on his experience as a racer, Lee Parks Design has introduced a line of fine Deer & Elk skin racing and touring gloves for the serious rider back in 2001. The newest addition to the line up are the long gauntlet style, dual Velcro closures DEERSPORTS.

Palms made from natural 2.7oz. Deerskin reinforced with 4oz. Elkskin backs, knuckle & palm pads for maximum protection and wear, the gloves feature double stitching in the 4 seams to make the gloves stronger wearing and tear resistant. Manufactured in the U.S.A. the gloves are designed for both street and the racetrack, comfort, function and durability are built right in.

They feature the new OUTLAST INSULATION. OUTLAST is a revolutionary phase-changing material. It’s designed to change properties based on temperature so the colder it is the warmer they keep your hands, Correspondingly, when it’s warm the gloves wick moisture away from the skin. These gloves are the ONLY gloves designed to work well with heated grips. The gloves are custom fitted using a detailed chart on the http://leeparksdesign.com/ web site.

We tried out a pair of the new insulated models on a cold Upstate NY December night ride and they preformed superbly. Maximum grip and comfort were slightly out shadowed by the fact that we could actually still feel our fingers after a 3-hour ride. Forget about wearing 2 pair of gloves or those cumbersome electric hand toasters. A pair of these beauties will do you right for the entire riding season no matter what conditions you may find yourself in. The $179.95 price will seem well worth it when you can feel your fingers at sub-freezing temperatures.

The gloves are available exclusively http://leeparksdesign.com/ or by calling Lee Parks directly at 1-800 943-5638.

PRO QUAD CHOPPER– PRO ONE has just announced their latest version of the revolutionary PRO QUAD CHOPPER frame. This updated design mates all the benefits of the original PRO QUAD along with a more radical chopper stance. Standard features include Chrome Billet 4-Link Swingarm, Rear Axle, Solid Trans Mount, Pointed Top Motor Mount and Polished Swingarm Pivot and Rock Guard. Frame tube size is 1 ?? and standard stretch and rake measurements are 5? in the top tube, 6? front legs and 40 degree in the neck. All mounting tabs and brackets are precision CNC machined. The chassis accepts EVO engines with strokes up to 4 ??. PRO QUAD CHOPPER is designed specifically for popular 250 tires and strutless fender applications.

For complete details contact your local PRO ONE dealer or call 800-884-4173. On the web at http://www.pro-one.com

A friend sent this.Said it was seen at Manhattan Beach, Ca.

Rogue

RAMBLINGS OF A RETIREES MIND–I was thinking bout how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can’t afford one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is ‘when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it’.

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it “Pumping Rust.”

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”

Employment application blanks always ask ‘who is to be notified in case of an emergency.’ I think you should write, “A Good Doctor!”

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do — write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me; they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

Nick Roberts

STEALTH REPORT–Well it is Christmas Eve’s, eve! The year is winding down real fast. It has been a couple of weeks since I sent a report in. I?m sorry for that I have had a lot going on. Hang on while I tell you all about it!

I took a job a couple of weeks ago and the job lasted only a couple of weeks or I maybe I should say I could only stand it that long! There was an ad for a parts manager job in the paper at a Jap bike shop or to be politcally correct a “Metric” bike shop. I applied and really did not think I would get an offer. Well they called and offered me the job and I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I would give it a try. I figured no harm in trying.

So I went to work there and it took me all of about an hour to decide this was not for me. You got dirt bikes, you got 4 wheelers, you got sport bikes, you got touring bikes, you got street bikes and all the different brands, Yamaha, Kawasaki, Suzuki, and Honda and if that was not enough to keep up with you have about a hundred brands of helmets and dirt bike riding apparel to also keep up with. I am sorry but I out grew this stuff a long time ago!

Not only was the product completely different, the riders were too! These guys will spend up to $700 on a helmet and could care less about their bikes. They were more interested in the latest helmet than anything else. All the jackets were lined with “body armour.” That is right BODY ARMOUR! They don’t look comfortable and I tried one on and I felt like a Knight from the days of King Arthur! It was stiff and bulky and abrasive. It was unreal, like I was on another planet!

The riders of these bikes seem to only be interested in doing “12 o’clock” wheelies and “stopies”,I guess I spelled that right? In doing these stunts most of the bikes I saw had the tail sections broken off from the wheelies. I just didn’t get it?

We cherish our bikes, whether it be a Harley or a ground up custom with an aftermarket engine; They are part of our heart and soul. These guys know nothing about this and treat their bikes like a throw away cell phone.

On top of all of this the shop had a T.V. that played DVD’s all day showing wheelies, stopies, crashes, and the “MAN” pulling them over for their dumb stunts. They also showed all the road rash that came along with the stunts that went bad. Any body out there proud of road rash or thought it was fun while you were getting it? It is nothing wrong with having fun but this was just stupidity at it’s highest level. All of these so-called stunts were done on the open highway with traffic all around, and they say “Harley Riders are the bad guys!” I guess that depends on your definition of bad.

So after two weeks I called it quits. I couldn’t do it or take it any longer. I just could not keep doing something that I did not believe in. So I am unemployed again. I have already put a bullet in the gun and told “THE MEANEST” to shoot me with it if I ever think about taking a job at a “Metric” bike shop again!

Oh by the way “The Meanest” and I would like to wish everyone at Bikernet headquarters and all the readers a Very Merry Christmas!

Until next time!

STEALTHMAN

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ROGUE–I would like to wish everyone a Happy Holiday and a Very Good New Year.Thank All of You That Are My Friends as You Have Made My Life Better By Knowing You.

Those of you that I have not met yet do not be a stranger.

ROGUE

INDIAN IN HAMBURG–Hey guys, I was in Hamburg, Germany last week for some function. While I was walking around town, I saw this beautiful Indian.

As it was freezing cold (it is winter) and I was rushing, I did not stay long enough to wait for the owner. I linger around for half an hour and that was it. I realize that I should’ve taken more photos (better photos) but this is all I could manage as I myself was beginning to attract crowd.

As I can’t jolly well move the car nor the bicycle, they are there in the photo.

Enjoy.
Nazry

Nude Biker Doing Wheelie–It’s no wonder that motorcycle fatality statistics are on the increase when you consider the rising popularity of “extreme” street riding, with sport bike riders performing wheelies, stoppies and other high speed antics on public roadways, often hot-dogging for the camera. Holding It Big Entertainment specializes in filming such street stunts, but the company president is now facing charges of reckless endangerment and negligent driving stemming from a rider’s fatal wheelie.

On Sept 12, 21-year-old Shaun P. Matlock of Frederick, MD died when he was performing a wheelie, riding without pants, and crashed into a tow truck parked on US 340. Matlock’s bike and helmet bore logos reading “Holding It Big”, and the president of the Baltimore-based company, Benjamin M. Meacham, 22, of Frederick, was allegedly driving in a nearby vehicle videotaping the fatal ride, and then later erased the tape before police could confiscate it. He was charged under a provision stating that anyone who induces, causes, coerces, permits or directs another person to commit a traffic violation also is guilty of the violation, Frederick County State’s Attorney Scott Rolle said.

Another bare-bottomed rider, Brandon M. Edwards, 21, of Ijamsville, who also was allegedly doing wheelies for the camera, was charged Sept. 20 with reckless driving, negligent driving, driving on a learner’s permit without the required supervision, and indecent exposure. Trooper David Ward, who investigated the case, said the only explanation he has heard for the lack of pants was “they wanted to do something they didn’t think anybody had done before.”

Rogue

TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004… according to Reader’s Digest: —

Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat….she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”

Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

AND NOW, FOR THE #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

Vern

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Let me start by wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and sincere hopes that 2005 will be a great year for you all.

It?s an ongoing effort to keep up with what?s new in the industry and get it to you in record time. A pleasurable effort I might add but an effort nonetheless. Which brings me to the changes we?ve made and the changes to come.

In order to exist, we?ve been soliciting advertisers on Bikernet from day one, which some people complain about. They don?t want to see ads. However, we got bills just like everyone else. Now that our numbers are so high, we?re shifting gears and reaching out to our readers. We want to keep the site generally free, and you can help.

In the past we?ve played with different prices for the Cantina, then finally settled on $24.95 per year, plus a free copy of Orwell. But now we’re lowering the price to a stinkin’ $5 bucks a year and hope everyone joins so that we can continue to behave in the ill-mannered fashion you?re accustom to.

So, our new campaign is ?Support Bikernet.com?. Join the Cantina for $5 bucks a year; it?s cheaper than a beer at Hard Rock, more enjoyable than a coffee from Starbucks (cheaper too) and more informative than a Borders Bookstore. Well, maybe not, but cheaper.

You get the picture? enjoy the news.

TOP GUN SMOKES MONSTER GARAGE– World?s fastest Street Harley goes Hollywood and 181 MPH!
If you weren?t fortunate enough to have caught the October 11, 2004 episode of the Discovery Channel?s hugely popular Monster Garage you really need to purchase a copy of the video. The Carl?s Speed Shop team of Carl Morrow, Doug Morrow and Serg Torres were among several industry celebrities enlisted for this entertaining and informative episode. But, what really made the show worth watching was when Doug rolled TOP GUN out of the trailer and lit the thing up.

This is the bike that has attained the title of World?s Fastest Street Harley-Davidson on no less than 14 occasions. Not only did he fire the bike but also after a short warm up, he rolled around the corner onto the city streets of Long Beach and dropped the hammer. Locals must have thought a 737 had missed the runway at Long Beach International Airport as buildings vibrated, animals ran for cover and the street went up in smoke. Viewers were treated to one hellacious, block long burnout. When the bike came to a standstill, the rear tire was completely shredded! It was enough to make your hair stand on end while painting a dramatic and vivid picture of just how potent this machine really is.

Doug?s Godzilla burnout was just a preview of things to come. Shortly after the Discovery Channel shoot, TOP GUN was strapped back into Carl?s race garage on wheels, and headed for the Maxton Mile in North Carolina. At Maxton the team swapped gears, changed the rubber and sent Doug on his way to setting an astounding 8 new records. Most noteworthy of the record passes was Doug?s official speed of 181.03188 MPH following a first half pass at 181.99455 MPH in PG-3000/4. That my friends is one awesome feat for a street legal Harley. How long will it stand? Probably not long.

With Serg and Carl tuning, Doug handling the throttle and major tech input and sponsorship from Rivera Engineering and Bassani Exhaust, TOP GUN is sure to make even this mind boggling record, old news in the near future.

Carl?s Speed Shop provides high performance products and services for all Harley-Davidson, and H-D clone powered machines. Located in Daytona Beach, Florida, Carl?s can be contacted at 388-258-3777 or visit them on the Web athttp://www.carlsspeedshop.com.

THE SANDS OF CHRISTMAS– I had no Christmas spirit when I breathed a weary sigh,
and looked across the table where the bills were piled too high.
The laundry wasn’t finished and the car I had to fix,
My stocks were down another point, the Dolphins lost by six.

And so with only minutes till my son got home from school,
I gave up on the drudgery and grabbed a wooden stool.
The burdens that I carried were about all I could take,
and so I flipped the TV on to catch a little break.

I came upon a desert scene in shades of tan and rust,
No snowflakes hung upon the wind, just clouds of swirling dust.
And where the reindeer should have stood before a laden sleigh,
eight hummers ran a column right behind an M1A.

A group of boys walked past the tank, not one was past his teens,
Their eyes were hard as polished flint, their faces drawn and lean.
They walked the street in armor with their rifles shouldered tight,
their dearest wish for Christmas, just to have a silent night.

Other soldiers gathered, hunkered down against the wind,
To share a scrap of mail and dreams of going home again.
There wasn’t much at all to put their lonely hearts at ease,
They had no Christmas turkey, just a pack of MRE’s.

They didn’t have a garland or a stocking I could see,
They didn’t need an ornament– they lacked a Christmas Tree.
They didn’t have a present even though it was tradition,
the only boxes I could see were labeled “ammunition”.

I felt a little tug and found my son now by my side,
He asked me what it was I feared, and why it was I cried.
I swept him up into my arms and held him oh so near
and kissed him on the forehead as I whispered in his ear.

There’s nothing wrong, my little son, for safe we sleep tonight,
our heroes stand on foreign land to give us all the right,
to worry about the things in life that really mean nothing at all,
instead of wondering each day if we will be the next to fall.

He looked at me as children do and said it’s always right,
to thank the ones who help us and perhaps that we should write.
And so we pushed aside the bills and sat to draft a note,
to thank the many far from home, and this is what we wrote,

God bless you all and keep you safe, and speed your way back home.
Remember that we love you so, and that you’re not alone.
The gift you give, you share with all, a present every day,
You give the gift of liberty and that we can’t repay.

Author Unknown
Vern

Some one is going to have a bad Christmas

Details Sketchy on Drug Plane Crash — By JUSTIN D. ANDERSON
WHEELING – A news conference was expected to be held this afternoon in Wheeling in connection with the crash of a small airplane near the Wheeling-Ohio County Airport early Sunday that reportedly had an undisclosed amount of illegal drugs aboard.

Few details have been released about the crash since it was discovered by airport officials Sunday morning. According to James Peters, a spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration, the Piper Aerostar twin-engine plane crashed Sunday morning. The plane is reportedly registered to James E. May of P.O. Box 685 Auburn, Ala. as well as two other registrants – Richard D. Starr and James L. Starr LLC, no addresses given.

Contact information for May or either Starr was not available today. Peters reported that the pilot was apparently injured in the crash, however the pilot has not been found. Officials believe the pilot managed to walk away from the crash. Also, there is no indication as to the origin of the flight. Peters further noted that since the aircraft was “destroyed” officials with the National Transportation Safety Board were expected to respond to the scene today.

The Aerostar is a “typical executive-type” aircraft, capable of hauling six passengers and two members of a flight crew.

Staff at the Wheeling-Ohio County Airport on Sunday discovered the small Piper Aerostar twin-engine aircraft in a ravine of a wooded area just west of the airport. Airport Manager Thomas S. Tominack said late Sunday that upon arrival at the scene of the crash, airport staff found there were no passengers or flight crew around the aircraft.

Detailed information about what type of drugs were found is expected to be released at the news conference today. Reports that cocaine was found on the plane could not be confirmed this morning.

“The aircraft sustained substantial damage,” Tominack said. However, there was “no fire involved.” A portion of one of the wings had been torn off, but the fuselage was “pretty much intact.”

“Because of the terrain and the amount of woods, it was not real easy to evaluate,” Tominack said.

The minimal damage to the fuselage “obviously” enabled “whomever was operating” the aircraft to escape from the wreckage, Tominack speculated.

An airport staff member early Sunday reported that a navigational aid at the approach end of the runway was damaged, prompting a search of the immediate area. A unit from the U.S. Air Force’s auxiliary Civil Air Patrol had reportedly picked up a signal at around 4:40 a.m. Sunday from the aircraft’s emergency transmitter. Tominack said the patrol was searching an area about three miles east of the airport near West Liberty. Police search dogs also were utilized in the search Sunday.

Tominack said not much is known about the flight due to “numerous unorthodox flight procedures” the aircraft was exhibiting. Tominack said it is “relatively simple” to track an aircraft if the crew is following normal flight plans, which the pilot of the aircraft found Sunday was reportedly not following.

“There are still some outstanding questions we are trying to determine,” Tominack said. “It’s not a typical crash scene. We’re trying to determine exactly what did occur.”

The scene of the crash and the road leading to the airport were blocked to the public and media. A fire truck from the Windsor Heights Volunteer Fire Department blocked off Girtys Point Road at the entrance of the airport. Another roadblock had reportedly been set up further east on the road.

Later, two vehicles from the West Virginia State Police took the fire engine’s place. A trooper at the scene would not allow anyone near the crash, nor would he provide any statements.

Rogue

DON?T ASK–Attorneys should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded: “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied: “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said: “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt.

Vern

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Last news before Christmas, so I guess it’s in order to wish everyone here, the staff, my family and all the faithful, and unfaithful readers Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

From me and everyone at Caribbean Custom Cycles.

So I guess instead of bitchin’ about something, we need to enjoy this time, although it does not feel like the Holidays at all. My dad is back from the hospital (the second time) and we are glad he is well, and can keep on rockin’. Also we want to wish Jay Hodge, our favorite foam sucker, board shaper a quick recovery from his accident, lucky he still around. Also well wishes go to Hugh King, prompt recoups to all….Be safe all you fuckers !!!!

The triple Crown of surfing, the Pipeline Masters and the Eddie Aikau contest already took place in the North Shore of Hawaii, all won by local Hawaiian bruthas. Cool, congrats to Sunny Garcia who won the triple Crown, too bad we missed him this year when we bailed out on the surf movie since Billy’s motor was toast. Congrats as well to all my friends from Hawaii. Speaking of Hawaii, I would really like to be able to spend the Holidays over there, although these are tough times and we must work. People buy toys and stuff, not motorcycle parts, so we hang on for the better times. Such is life. Maybe next time I will be able to plan accordingly and will be free of obligations so I can head over there, in the meantime, just work some more…….

Just in case, and this might be a super plug, all my personal bikes are for sale (except the purple bobber) so if anyone here is interested in one of them shoot me an e-mail at info@chopperfreak.com, please add the title ?bikes for sale?, since I receive enough cheap drug, grow the dick, slutty chicks dying to meet you, etc,etc, e-mails to last a lifetime.

Speaking of selling stuff, some of our parts are already out. Jockey shift levers, side brake/plate bases, point covers and a few others are available, thanks to Fabricator Kevin for making those for us. They will be available on my site soon. Also the roller will finally be done by the first couple months of the year. And last but not least, a couple new Chopper Freak(tm) designs are in the making. For sure most of that stuff will be posted here pretty soon.

I know you guys love it when I rant about stuff, I want you to know that none of this shit is personal, it’s just the way I see things and the way I feel about some of them. It’s very interesting that people follow this week after week, then again, I have a very powerful forum here on Bikernet, who, of course reaches millions of people. Sure there’s some shit that might be bothering me right now, but like I said, it’s Christmas so I will behave. Although, here goes a slight warning; I say what I say so people take notice of situations, maybe by this people will realize if they have been fucking up (again my word is not gospel) or if they have not been, or behaved like they should, life as it is, somebody someplace will relate to some of the venom I might be writing. Once more it’s not personal but if you feel you fit the bill, please do us all a favor and analyze yourself.

As a society, brotherhood, fellow humans or whatever the fuck we feel we fit into, we must treat each other with the utmost respect. Someone said a very long time ago, don’t do unto others what you don’t like being done to yourself. I guess that is the best Christmas present you can give to others and to yourself. We are pretty fucking lucky to be able to have a lifestyle as we do, to be able to have good friends who would and will give you their last buck, their help and anything else in times of need. It?s something that can’t be bought into; that no matter how hard you try can’t be gained by buying the newest stuff, wearing the latest cool rags or acting the part. We are not actors, we are real. This is life to us, not a game. Sadly as such some of us die, some of us struggle and some of us shine, but we are still who we are. No pretences, no smoke curtains. With this, watch out, we have radar for bogus shit, for those who don’t and will never belong. Greed, bullshit and pretence have no place here. The best gift for this Holidays is life, no matter how sucky or how great, enjoy it and be glad.!

I don’t want to sound like a fuckin’ bad omen here, but the list gets longer. Mark from West Coast Choppers had a close encounter with a running primary, get better soon dude, and Josh “Mr Cool” Mills needs a pinky re-stitched. To all, like the great intellectual Jerry Springer sez, take care of yourselves and each other……

See you guys next week…..and incase I did not say it enough…Merry Fucking Christmas !!!!

Jose ? Caribbean Reporter

LATS & ATTS TV– Latitudes & Attitudes will begin broadcasting a 1/2 hour weekly prime-time television show on March 29th on The Men’s Channel. It will be available to 27 million homes on it’s launch. Currently they are available on DISH and select Comcast Cable networks. It is being produced by Kewl Productions and Bob Bitchin is the Executive Producer of the show.

The show will try to convey the same feeling about cruising as the magazine. A light, fun and entertaining look at the cruising lifestyle.

Some of the magazine features we will be bringing to the screen will be cruising adventures shot on cruisers boats world-wide, an “Underway” section with cruisers photos set to music, an “Andy Rooney” style ending dialoge titled “Attitudes” by yours truly. As well as feature boats, new design boats and our popular “At The Boat Show” segment with new products for the cruising sailor.

Bob Bitchin
Founder & Publisher
Latitudes & Attitudes Magazine
Executive Producer
Kewl Productions
publisher@seafaring.com
http://www.seafaring.net
888-8-WE SAIL
(310) 798-3445

Bob Bitchin was the publisher/editor of Biker, FTW and Tattoo magazine before Paisano Publications bought the mag almost 20 years ago. He’s been sailing around the world ever since. His sailing mag is wild.–Bandit

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