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Edited by John Stein

This book is amazing because Denis’s life, always seeking the Fastest Lane was and is incredible. For Bonneville enthusiasts, this book is a must read.

Not only does it tell the trying stories around precarious run attempts, but it points out every pitfall to success on the salt. Denis also goes into detail concerning mechanical, aerodynamic, component and team difficulties.

Of course, he discusses the funding issues and dealing with various types of Sponsors.

It’s easy to read, while carefully laid-out in a large coffee-table format with numerous captivating photos and captions. But unlike many photo-essay books relying solely on images and artistic layout, this book carries a significant literary timeline. It captures every historic racing event from the beginnings of Manning’s motorcycle racing history through every attempt to capture and hang onto the coveted World’s Fastest Motorcycle Land Speed Record.

–Keith R. Ball
Member
Easyriders Streamliner Team

by Bandit with photos from Mecum and Micah McCloskey

Are We Doomed or Kickin’ Ass?

Some feel the Las Vegas Mecum Motorcycle Auction is the Devil Incarnate. The money-making desire to flood the market with almost 2000 Vintage motorcycles in an unpredictable inflationary period could destroy the motorcycle industry and return us to where we started—grubby bikers.

Others were excited to find bits and pieces to complete vintage projects. Some wanted to sniff the action for clues to future sales. The Bikernet investigative team, which we can’t name included builders, brokers, collectors, racers and celebrities.

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Some feel the Las Vegas Mecum Motorcycle Auction is the Devil Incarnate. The money-making desire to flood the market with almost 2000 Vintage motorcycles in an unpredictable inflationary period could destroy the motorcycle industry and return us to where we started—grubby bikers.

Others were excited to find bits and pieces to complete vintage projects. Some wanted to sniff the action for clues to future sales. The Bikernet investigative team, which we can’t name included builders, brokers, collectors, racers and celebrities.

Didn’t experience the crowds this year, but the bids kept coming. Almost ¾ of the inventory was sold.

Here’s the official Mecum Auction Description:

Hosted today by Mecum Auctions, the world’s largest vintage and antique motorcycle auction has been held annually since 1991 in Las Vegas. Returning to South Point Hotel & Casino each January, the long-running auction has more than tripled in size and overall sales totals since Mecum’s acquisition in 2014. In January of 2020 alone, more than 1,540 motorcycles hammered sold in five days for a 90 percent sell-through rate and $22.6 million in overall sales.

Mecum is proud to be a leader in helping these collectible motorcycles achieve the respect and attention they deserve on a nationwide and even worldwide scale. The Mecum motorcycle division is committed to the mission of bringing buyers and sellers together over the shared love of these two-wheeled mechanical masterpieces, and no one does it better.

Back to the Action:

“Prices were all over the place,” said one of our band of reporters. Knuckleheads went soft pricing, while oddities captured the attention and high prices including motor-powered bicycles. Inline four Indians and Hendersons drew over $150,000 and seemingly ordinary ‘60s Hondas gaveled-down at over $65,000.

The record setting bike of the meet was a single cylinder 1908 Harley drawing $850,000, but after commissions that number jumped to $920,000.00, a record for Mecum. The owner bought it for $15.00 decades ago and painstakingly restored it, bit by bit. Plus, 1920s BMWs drew fine prices.

Laura Klock’s new bagger, charity build for her program to help teenage girls pulled only $25,000 and late model V-twin Harleys drew as little as five grand.

So, what does this say about the industry or the economy. One of my reporters pointed an ugly finger at Mecum for not checking the authenticity of motorcycles. More and more vintage components are being manufactured around the world. With a running engine many early bikes can be built from the ground up. Jeff Decker’s fine looking patina Cyclone was a terrific example.

It says a lot about the history currently available to enthusiasts, but that brain trusts are passing on as the brothers age and depart to leave too many unanswered questions.

And don’t dismiss the egos, competition between builders and their valuable relationships with collectors. We followed a 1914 Henderson inline four and received mixed reports. One narrative indicated a very clean restoration with a couple of re-pop parts. Another stated that the only original part was the engine, otherwise all re-pop. Who to believe and what was the final outcome?

Regarding the industry one long-time vintage broker said Mecum indicated a drop in pricing over the next year, which could indicate historically a three-year trend. Doomsday.

One the other hand others are very excited about the future. “It was all up and up,” an undercover agent reported. “Panheads were slightly soft as beautiful restorations drew just $20,000 while old BMWs and ‘60s Jap dirt bikes pulled sizeable bids through the roof.”

Bottom line, there’s still lots of funds the world over. Vintage motorcycles afford any guy the chance to collect something significant from the past and be able display is almost anywhere, unlike cars, boats, and planes. Vintage bikes tell unique, exciting stories and the collector has the ability to see and touch all the inner workings. Hell, you can’t collect watches and be afforded the distinct opportunity to see the guts of every running aspect of a vintage motorcycle.

Plus, and this is a major. As technology changes and the drive for electric vehicles increases, the more valuable our historic heritage will become. We all need a piece of motorcycle history to share with our peeps forever more.

And like it’s done in the past, if the electric EV movement blows up, we will be proud to own more ICE motorcycles!

–Bandit

by Janaki Jitchotvisut from https://www.rideapart.com

It’s one of the finest examples of this model known to still exist in 2023.

When you’re talking about highly collectible motorcycles, there are a few makes that consistently come up. Vincent. Brough Superior. Henderson. Occasionally, a rarity among rarities makes its way to the auction block, such as a Crocker Big Twin, or, if you’re really lucky, a Harley-Davidson Strap Tank. The latter extremely rare machine is what just took the honor of the top-selling bike at the 2023 Mecum Las Vegas auction, and one of the coolest things about it is that it’s lived in Wisconsin for its entire life.

As you can see in the video, as the bid amount quickly increased into the high six figure range, it still hadn’t met reserve. When it got to $850,000, the seller decided to lift the reserve—and indeed, that’s the selling price at which this pristine, beautifully restored, 1908 Harley-Davidson Strap Tank crossed the stage.

Under Mecum’s listing of its top ten bikes from this auction, it gives the total price (including all applicable fees) as $935,000.

For those unfamiliar, the Strap Tank is most definitely one of the most important models in Harley history—if not the most important.

This model is what evolved from William S. Harley and Arthur Davidson’s initial shed builds, and was the first model to roll out of the Chestnut Street—later Juneau Avenue—factory. It quickly established a reputation for the brand’s builds that endured through the decades.

As the story goes, 150 Strap Tanks rolled out of the factory in 1907, increasing to 450 in 1908. Of those 450 bikes produced in 1908, fewer than a dozen are thought to still exist in 2023—and far fewer in as correct a condition as this one.

What makes this particular example so special? As the story goes, Milwaukee businessman David Uihlein, heir to the Schlitz Brewing fortune, discovered it in a barn about 70 miles outside Milwaukee, all the way back in 1941. This bike was complete—so he brought it home, and kept it there for the following 66 years. It was restored at some point by noted vintage Harley restoration expert Paul Freehill, and the original tank, wheels, engine belt pulley, seat cover, and muffler sleeve were included in this auction.

Watch the Auction Video here:

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by Bandit, Cabana Dan and the National Motorcycle Museum

A brother, Cabana Dan owns this bike. There were only ten built as prototypes to compete with the Whizzer kit motorbikes. Dan only knows of two and this is one of them. It’s been housed in the National Motorcycle Museum for years.

In the early years, the American motorcycle industry served riders with a broad range of machines including lightweight singles. But post-Depression most American motorcycles were at least 500cc’s and had a considerable weight and price tag. The price of a new Indian or Harley-Davidson could buy most of a new Ford or Chevy.

Read & View this Jacobsen gem only in Bandit’s Cantina – Click Here

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What’s Bandit’s Cantina? Why Join? Well, have a look at unmatched benefits by clicking here

by Vaibhav Kashyap from https://bikeindia.in and Report from Kurt Morris

Kevin Benavides won the final stage 14 of the 2023 Dakar Rally to top the overall bike title results by 43 seconds over Toby Price.

The 2023 Dakar Rally’s final stage 14 was won by Kevin Benavides, who outpaced Toby Price by 43 seconds to win the overall bike title.

The Red Bull KTM Factory Racing rider won the final two stages on his 450 Rally Factory to move up from third to first and win his second Dakar Rally championship. The Argentine, placed second in the first stage, dropped to fourth overall in stage two but managed to maintain his podium position during the following 12 stages with impressive consistency.

On a Honda, Benavides finished the 136-kilometre-long special ahead of Price in second place by 55 seconds. Benavides had also won the 2021 Dakar Rally. The American, Skyler Howes of Husqvarna Factory Racing, was placed third overall with a fifth in the last stage, five minutes and four seconds behind Benavides.

After nearly 44 hours and 30 minutes and 5,000 kilometres of racing against the clock, the winning margin was less than a minute. Price had a 12-second lead going into the last stage and almost missed his third Dakar Rally bike title, but he gave credit to teammate, Benavides.

In his fourth start in the famous off-road rally raid competition, Howes earned his maiden podium finish. After six stages, this St George (Utah) native was in the lead overall. In stage competitions, he finished on the podium five times on his Husqvarna 450 Rally Factory.

Howes, who has recently won several significant races and has also established himself as a well-known factory-backed star rider in rallies, maintained his stunning ascent with a third-place finish at Dakar. He was the first American cyclist to be placed in the Dakar cycling race since Ricky Brabec (the first American winner of the Dakar Rally in 2020, who also took second in 2021).

India’s Hero MotoSports, made a valiant effort in their Dakar campaign. All the Hero MotoSports riders finished among the top 15 in the Dakar 2023 final stage, thus signifying the company’s most productive Dakar campaign yet. The motor sport squad from Hero MotoCorp won two stages at the Dakar 2023 and finished in many top 10 positions. With Franco Caimi achieving consistent results throughout the rally to be placed 10th overall, Hero MotoSports also finished the rally among the top 10.

Franco Caimi was Hero MotoSports’ top performer for the most part of the rally. He won several top-10 stage positions and this ultimately helped him in achieving a top-10 finish in the overall standings. The Argentine had to ride through the rally’s final stages in pain due to a mishap in recent days, but he persevered and displayed the genuine spirit of Dakar. He finished in P13 in the Rally GP Class at the end of the last stage, making his début Dakar rally with Hero MotoSports a success.

Sebastian Bühler posted his first podium result in a stage in his third Dakar campaign with Hero MotoSports, coming in second in stage two. Like Branch, Bühler lost some time during stage four due to the same problem, which prevented him from finishing among the top 10. Eventually, he managed 14th overall in the Rally GP division due to a number of top-10 performances and his steady pace.

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Most folks know about Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil and Georgia’s Beauregard Lee. Well, we don’t like to make a big to-do about it, but Lynchburg has its own furry weather prognosticator, Rumples.

Rumples might not be as famous as his northern or southern counterpoints, but he’s never failed to predict spring in the Hollow. Of course, there are those old-timers that swear no groundhog will ever beat Whistle Pig Willie, Lynchburg Louie, or Twice-Mellowed Jack. But, in our humble opinion, Rumples just can’t be matched.

In Lynchburg this Groundhog’s Day, keep your eyes open. You might just see Rumples taking a quick look around. If he sees his shadow, you may as well get busy and cut another cord of firewood. You’re going to need it.

If you’d like to know Rumples’ prediction for this year’s weather, just drop us a line on February 2. And don’t forget to let us know how the weather is in your neck of the woods.

–Bandit

Bandit@Bikernet.com

Tennessee Squire with Jack Daniels

by Alan Cathcart from https://www.motorcycle.com

Riding Royal Enfield’s cruisers through the Indian countryside

Five years on from the 2018 launch of its first ever twin-cylinder models to be made in India, since when over 400,000 examples of the Interceptor 650 and Continental GT 650 have been sold around the world, Royal Enfield has now added the first of a much-anticipated series of spinoff models to its range.

Unveiled at last November’s EICMA Milan Show and already in production at RE’s Chennai plant for global deliveries to commence in March, the Super Meteor 650 is available in two versions targeting different slices of the middleweight cruiser market. Named after Royal Enfield’s first 100mph model launched back in 1955, a 700cc breakthrough bike marketed as a go-anywhere mile-eater which was available for the first time from any manufacturer with its own array of optional touring equipment, these are both powered by the same air/oil-cooled eight-valve 648cc parallel-twin engine with central chain-driven SOHC equipping the Interceptor and Continental GT.

Developed at Royal Enfield’s UK Technology Centre at Bruntingthorpe, the company’s first twin-cylinder engine for the modern era measures 78 x 67.8 mm and carries a single gear-driven counterbalancer to reduce vibration. The 270º crankshaft is a forged one-piece item for extra strength and durability, and it’s so over-engineered you can well imagine it was built for eventual use in larger capacity motors – only not just yet. The fuel-injected engine employing a Bosch ECU and a pair of 34mm Mikuni throttle bodies produces a claimed 46.33 bhp at 7,250 rpm at the crankshaft, so is A2 license compliant in Europe, while maximum torque of 38.57 ft-lb is delivered at 5,650 revs – 400 rpm higher than on the earlier 650 twins.

However, RE’s Chief Engineer Paolo Brovedani states there are no mechanical changes to the engine in the new models, only that the Super Meteor’s airbox and exhausts are all-new, which coupled with revised mapping for the ECU delivers a Cruiser-friendly wider spread of torque, with 80% of that peak grunt already available at just 2,500 rpm.

The unchanged six-speed transmission features a slip/assist clutch, with a heel-and-toe shifter pedal as standard on both Super Meteor variants, while the modest 9.5:1 compression ratio denotes a relatively low state of tune, most likely to ensure it runs well even on poor-quality fuel.

This now well-proven engine is carried as a fully-stressed component in an all-new composite steel duplex open cradle spine frame consisting of diverse forgings, investment castings, pressings, and extrusions which was developed at the UK Technology Centre in conjunction with RE subsidiary Harris Performance, and incorporates a new cylinder head mount for additional stiffness.

Showa has now replaced Gabriel as suspension supplier for Royal Enfield’s twins, and the Super Meteor comes with an upside-down fork for the first time on any RE model, albeit a non-adjustable 43mm Big Piston item carried at a 27.6° rake with 4.7 in. of trail, offering 4.7 in. of wheel travel. At the rear, the extruded steel swingarm delivering a rangy 59.0-in. wheelbase carries twin Showa shocks, with 5-step preload adjustment and 4.0 in. of travel. There’s a 19-inch forged aluminum front wheel and 16-inch rear, shod with Indian supplier CEAT’s new Zoom Cruz tubeless tires especially created for the Super Meteor duo, replacing the Pirellis fitted to the two existing Royal Enfield twin-cylinder models.

Brovedani says his R&D test team, led by Aussie former 500GP racer Paul Young, has covered over one million kms. on test tracks, Belgian pavé cobblestones, and the highways, byways, towns, villages, and city centers of India, the UK, and Spain, in subjecting a model whose customers are likely to clock up serious mileage to the most rigorous of test programs.

Braking on the Super Meteors is supplied by the same single 320mm front disc as on the earlier 650 models, but it is a much larger 300mm rear brake disc (up from 240mm), both gripped by twin-piston calipers from Brembo’s Indian subsidiary ByBre, with dual-channel Bosch ABS fitted as standard, permitting Euro 5 compliance for both variants of the bike. The Standard version of the Super Meteor is claimed to weigh in at 531 lb. with oil and a 90% full 4.1-gal. fuel tank, equating to circa 507 lb. with oil/no fuel. That’s quite a bit heavier than the 445 lb. similarly quoted for the Interceptor twin with the same motor. But there’s no confirmed weight available for the Super Meteor 650 Tourer variant, which comes with a wind tunnel-developed windscreen, LED indicators front and rear, and a larger, even better-padded seat with extra room for a passenger, who also benefits from an abbreviated backrest.

A 29.1-in. seat height is quoted for both models, ensuring almost any rider can put both feet flat on the ground at rest, with forward footrests and a tall, wide touring-style handlebar featuring adjustable clutch and brake levers, despite the cable operation of the oil bath clutch. There’s a single round instrument cluster combining an analog speedo with an inset LCD digital panel showing gear selected, fuel level, time, odo and twin trips, and a USB socket located beneath the left side panel. Royal Enfield’s free-to-use TBT/Turn-by-Turn Tripper navigation pod developed in collaboration with Google and introduced two years ago on the Meteor 350, which links to the rider’s smartphone via Bluetooth, is included as standard for the first time on an RE twin-cylinder model. Sorry, but there’s no holder for your phone – you must buy one from the large selection of dedicated Super Meteor accessories.

Both a side stand that’s very easy to flip out while seated on the bike and an equally easy-access center stand come fitted as stock. All-new satin-chrome aluminum switch cubes are stylish and practical, despite looking slightly bland owing to the absence of any electronics other than EFI and ABS on a bike with a cable throttle. Hence devoid of ride by wire technology’s buttons and switches, they look well-made and substantial, while the ergonomically shaped barrel-profile handlebar grips incorporating the Royal Enfield logo nestle easily into your hands, as they’re specifically shaped to do. The LED headlamp is another first for Royal Enfield, matched to an LED rear light. Build quality is excellent with self-evident attention to detail, such as the way the oil cooler and hoses match up perfectly with the down tubes of the frame.

The fully-spec’d nature of the Super Meteor duo hasn’t bumped up their price unduly, despite these now being Royal Enfield’s top-of-the-range models. Taking ride-away UK list pricing (including 20% local tax) as the example, and incorporating a three-year unlimited mileage manufacturer’s warranty on both models, there are two groups of pricing for the Roadster variant, depending on the color chosen. [No official US pricing has been released at this time, and remember, there is no VAT Stateside. —EB] The Astral trio of Black, Green and Blue cost £6,799 ($8,425) on the road, with the Interstellar Grey and Green tints £200 ($247) more pricey at £6,999 ($8,673). Conversely, the Super Meteor 650 Tourer is available in two distinctive two-tone finishes, namely Celestial Red and Celestial Blue, each with a Cream tank top, costing £7,299 ($9,045) – again, on the road. This compares to current UK pricing of £6,199 to £6,699 ($7,682-$8,802) for the Interceptor and £6,399 to £6,899 ($7,930-$8,549) for the Continental GT, again depending on chosen paint scheme. Those keen prices for a well-equipped middleweight twin confirm that Royal Enfield is continuing its established tradition of offering a huge amount of motorcycle for the money.

OK, they look good, the pricing is great – but what are they like to ride? To discover that, I was asked to join a 40-strong press group from all over the globe invited to spend two days in India’s largest but most sparsely settled state, Rajasthan, which is as far west as you can go in the country, riding both bikes for more than 375mi over almost every single possible type of road condition. These ranged from town centers protected by viciously steep but frequently unmarked speed bumps, all choked with people and animals, cars, vans, trucks, and coaches in various states of decrepitude, and motorcycles, motorcycles, motorcycles everywhere, to narrow, winding rural roads which last saw a repair crew sometime in the last century. They went from well-surfaced but often traffic-clogged arterial highways lined with cattle which have taken on board the fact they’re impervious to harm, and thus wander freely around even fast four-lane toll roads without a care in the world, to deserted but beautifully made freeways out in the middle of nowhere, which compare well with anything built in the USA or Europe.

Those latter roads were undoubtedly built with the military in mind, since our riding base in the city of Jaisalmer was in western Rajasthan, as close as you can get 75 years on from the horrors of Partition, to the 1,800 mi.-long politically sensitive Pakistani border, one of the most heavily guarded international boundaries on the planet, which is only open to civilian traffic in one location a day’s ride away from our base. But on our second day traveling 280 mi. due east from Jaisalmer to the 16th century Khimsar Fort www.khimsar.com near Jodhpur (yes, where the horse riding pants come from) that’s been turned into a 68-bed luxury hotel, we rode through the Great Thar Desert in a high-speed caravan of Enfield twins running in line astern at speeds up to 100 mph. Passing just 2.5 mi. away from Pokhran, where India joined the Nuclear Weapons club in 1998, followed two weeks later by Pakistan, the great mile-eating capabilities of the Super Meteor were laid out in full as we hightailed it from west to east on a glorious winter morning with not a cloud in the sky. But I wished our test bikes had some heated grips fitted: Setting out at dawn at 46° F with no handguards, my fingers soon felt frostbitten at those speeds, before the sun got higher and the desert temperatures rose!

But this is a super-stable motorcycle that’ll be happy to cruise at high speeds all day long on German autobahns and the like, and that’s especially true of the Tourer version fitted with the really effective screen that Paolo Brovedani confirms was the subject of heaps of wind tunnel time to get just right, as evidenced by the Tourer’s total stability with no trace of a wobble round long, fast 80-mph sweepers. At 5’10” in height, I found myself completely protected from any windblast, with zero undue turbulence hitting my helmet and also no noise, nor any distortion looking through the screen. That possibly came about partly because the Tourer’s seat is quite different than the Standard bike’s, with a notably narrower stepover which allows you to tuck your knees in tighter to the tank (too bad it doesn’t have indentations in its flanks for them, like on the other 650 twins), and a shape which has you sitting more within the bike than on its sister model. Moreover, you’re seated a little less upright than on the Roadster variant, so leaning slightly forward as the handlebar invites you to do sees the base of your spine no longer in contact with the softer upholstery of the seat – Brovedani says the Tourer seat has a different density which makes it feel more luxurious. Nice.

But I’d spent the previous day at much lower speeds aboard a Standard model exploring the Rajasthan hinterland, visiting the ghost village of Kuldhara, whose inhabitants deserted it overnight in 1828 in protest against the steep taxes being levied on them by the rapacious ruler of Jaisalmer. Its deserted stone-built houses are often used today as a Bollywood movie backdrop, and to get there, we traveled southwest from Jaisalmer, to go as close as you can get to the Pakistan border without entering the minefields lining the frontier. The often bumpy roads provided an excellent test of the Super Meteor’s Showa suspension, with the settings for the raked-out, non-adjustable fork well chosen; even with the bike’s extra weight compared to an Interceptor or Continental GT, it didn’t bottom out via weight transfer under heavy braking descending into a dip in the road but kept on damping out road shock from the uneven surface.

The rear suspension was rather surprisingly even better, with the middle preload setting on the 5-way adjustable Showa shocks damping out the worst of the bumps – I could honestly feel the rear wheel following the road surface as the shocks compressed and released. They’re a considerable step up from the Gabriel units on the older 650 twins, whose twin-shock rear end’s much ‘drier’ damping makes them skip around a fair bit over bumps, underlining why progressive rate links and monoshock rear ends replaced such a format decades ago. That’s not the case with the Super Meteor’s super compliant Showas, whose well-chosen damping delivers enhanced ride quality over broken everyday road surfaces.

The Standard bike’s riding position has the pulled-back handlebar, mounted on curved 80mm risers cast into the upper triple clamp, combining with the mid-position forward-mounted footrests to deliver a reasonably relaxed, albeit pretty upright, stance. With the quite wide stepover and flatter-feeling seat compared to the Tourer, it seems you’re sitting more on the bike than in it, and pillion space is less spacious, also. I’d have liked to try a version with the footrests moved back 100mm/4 in or so: I reckon it might be a more rational riding position that way that’d be worthy of the true neo-Classic Roadster you get the impression is trying to escape from the Cruiser styling, but – hey, looks are important in this neck of the market, so put up with it. As it is, you must always use the heel-and-toe gearshift as designed to shift gear, because unless you have size 49 feet the gap between the left footrest and the toe lever is too great for you to shift up with your toe – you must remove your boot from the footrest to do so. The actual shift action is flawless, just that achieving it can be awkward.

As with the existing 650 models the Super Meteor’s twin-cylinder engine is definitely the star of the show in terms of riding satisfaction, for this is a middleweight motorcycle that thinks big. It’s been intelligently developed to be all things to all riders, so that the less experienced can ride around town all day in fourth gear, and the hyper-flexible engine will let them do so without any hiccups or transmission snatch. But at the other end of the performance scale, it’s a willing companion for a blast through the wide open roads of Rajasthan. You never forget that it’s ‘just’ a 650, because it doesn’t have the torque or power of a 900cc twin or even a 750 – but that’s OK, because the Royal Enfield motor invites you to work hard at making it go fast, as it will. Just make maximum use of the light action slip-assist clutch and smooth, precise gearshift to keep it revving, and you’ll be rewarded with quite impressive levels of performance. It’s a willing partner in making both new Super Meteors a ton of fun to ride hard.

The engine’s key asset is the great mapping of the Bosch ECU, especially the response from a closed throttle, which is ultra-smooth with no snatch or jerk. That’s especially so after braking deep into a turn and then getting on the throttle again to drive out of the apex – there’s just a liquid-smooth but no less immediate reaction to what your right hand is doing, and the response from closed to part or even full throttle is ideal. This again makes the bike an ideal mount for less experienced riders, as well as for use in India, where stop/start riding in heavy traffic is a fact of everyday life on two wheels. On the Super Meteor twins, you just twist and go, with a flawless pickup and a totally linear build of both power and torque.

The power delivery is impressive for a mid-sized motor, coupled with the abundant torque which is ideally spread throughout the rev range, providing a predictable and controllable surge of acceleration as soon as you twist the throttle to exit a turn. Top gear roll-on is impressive, too – running at three-quarter throttle at 75 mph in India on a deserted toll road in the overdrive sixth gear still leaves sufficient unused torque for the Super Meteor to surge forward noticeably if you crack the throttle wide open. For a 650cc motorcycle, this is a very autobahn-friendly device. The counterbalancer removes every trace of vibration all the way to that hard-action 7,500 rpm limiter, so that instead of the shake, rattle and roll of any parallel-twin, the Super Meteors were completely free of vibration, while the sound from the stock exhaust is a muted semi-angry burble that’s inevitably similar to a 90º V-twin, thanks to the 270º crank.

The operation of the single front twin-piston brake caliper and 320mm disc is just about adequate, with good feedback through the lever that’ll help you keep the ABS from kicking in too often on India’s dusty road surfaces. But both Super Meteors would definitely benefit from extra bite from the front brake, making you glad you’ve got the hefty 300mm rear brake that stops the bike better than its larger front partner. Thanks to the Super Meteor’s extra weight you must use both brakes hard to stop from any speed.

These new Royal Enfield Super Meteors are sufficiently different from each other that despite sharing the same mechanical platform, they’re essentially two distinct new models – mid-capacity Cruisers that are enjoyable to ride thanks to being blessed with a great engine, and super handling. And when the low price point is taken into consideration, then very likely Royal Enfield CEO Siddhartha Lal will have yet another hit on his hands. For since Triumph walked away from the middleweight retro twin-cylinder sector it had carved such a successful niche in, Royal Enfield has had that segment of the market to itself. So there is indeed nothing else available even remotely like these new 650cc Cruiser twins, and certainly nothing else giving comparable performance at such a low price – well, for the time being, at least, until a Chinese manufacturer like Voge or CFMoto decides to come after the Cruiser segment, however unlikely that might presently be.

Until then, Royal Enfield’s twin-cylinder range incorporating these latest two extensions has the field to itself in going back to the future by combining a modern SOHC middleweight parallel-twin engine design, with traditional styling and accessible performance. As Siddhartha Lal said in launching them, “These new Twins carry forward the Royal Enfield legacy into the 21st century. While in essence they retain old-school design and character, they have all the underpinnings of a modern machine, combining agility, usable power, excellent ergonomics, and style, all in an unintimidating manner. However, each is more than the sum of its parts – they’re great fun to ride and bring a smile on your face every single time. The engine has been designed to offer the right balance between power, torque, and usability, so as to ensure a smooth and unintimidating riding experience. They offer a broad spread of torque which makes the motorcycle easy to ride, without frequently shifting gears.”

After covering some serious distance aboard the latest two examples of this product philosophy during our Rajasthan Raid, I can’t argue with that.

Hi! Do you ever wonder, as you hear the news of the day….. or find out about it via the guard at the supermarket telling you, you can’t go inside in order to handle the fruit with your bare hands without a mask on…..do you ever wonder why everything just gets crazier and worse? And not saner and better? There’s a reason! And you’re partly why!! That’s right! It’s not just them! A lot of it is you! It’s kinda BOTH of you!…..you and them! Working together! As an idiot team!

Sure, you’re upset at me right now but I have good news! I am actually going to explain to you why you…and the OTHER people causing all the trouble…..are actually a team! That’s right! This ain’t just them! It’s also you! That’s right – two groups of totally batshit inhabitants of Fairyland – working together to make things worse and worse and worse. And all the while – the BOTH of you are refusing to ask each other…..”Why are we doing this?”

Oh!….. and not only are you both doing it and not puzzling why….. you’re both doing it over and over and over again…..and expecting that this NEXT time things will be GREAT! That this will all get fixed!

It won’t. It will all just stay crazy if not get actually crazier. You know what this is called, right?…..doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results every time? That’s right. It’s called being nuts. It’s called being crazy. It’s called being a fucking idiotic fuckhead asshole stupid dumbass fuck.

You should be fucking pretty goddamn excited I showed up at this point. Otherwise, you might just stay stupid forever! That’s not gonna happen. We’re gonna fix that, you and me.

You will notice that there is a news-item link at the top of all this. Maybe it’s at the bottom. Who the fuck knows. At any rate, the news item featured in the link is what triggered what is going to be for you a huge favor!

That’s right. Thanks to this news item… I had what I can only call a Saul Of Tarsus Moment!! I mean, I read looney news items every day. I get routinely infuriated. I yell at the ol’ lady, the neighbor kids, the neighbor dogs and people on Fuckbook and then move on to the next infuriating item. It’s what I DO. I’m like fucking Geico.

But this above news-item created a different reaction. There was no anger. There was no outrage. There was no yelling at the ol’ lady. There was just a kind of silent strangeness of, like, something snapped inside my head. All was quiet. I saw all of reality as a jumble. And off in the distance there was an empty plain.

I said in my mind “I must leave this jumbled reality and go over the empty plain yonder. I must seek the answer not in this reality: but in a different reality. Where my vision will not be intruded upon by this reality. I must go over to the emptyness over there.” I said that.

And I went there in my mind. All was quiet and empty over there. And then it was, very calmly, very unchaotically, very Saul Of Tarsus-like, like I could see! It all made sense! The blindness was gone!

I went back over to where the craziness of reality was and I was no longer affected. Because I understood why it was all so crazy.

But I see it all clearly! You know like the song?…..”I can see clearly now the rain has gone…..duh DUH… duh-DUH-duh duh DUH…….” Yeah, you gut it! That’s the one!

So, I am therefore going to explain to you now why we are at this point. At this continual point of crazy. And it’s actually partially your fault!

There we go. Now, as long as I gut you here and since you’re drinking on me I’m gonna be totally fair with you just so you know: just because you’re stupid doesn’t mean that you did this to yourself and on your own. No. Someone else – a lotta people actually, most people actually – went out of their way to GUARANTEE that you would end up stupid.

I have good news. Yeah, drink up, want another one? Here. Have another one. Pretty good, uh?

Ahem.

So: regarding this article. We as Americans are now at the point where one idiot – the “Democrat” idiot in the article – is saying we need to put Kotex in the girls’ and boys’ bathroom at the mandatory-brainwashing facility called “school”….. while a different idiot, a “Republican” idiot, is saying no, we don’t need to do that, we just need to do it in just the girls’ bathrooms. The boys’ bathrooms don’t need Kotex. It’s the girls’ bathrooms that need the Kotex.

Now, under ordinary circumstances, assuming any of this can be called ordinary, under ordinary circumstances you would never even know about any of this. Fear not. A failed novelist called a journalist, along with his editor, a failed writer on all levels, along with an entire upper management crew at Fox, (upper management being defined here as understanding how to avoid being fired) got wind of this toilet/Tampax/Kotex/leakage/vaginal/bloodspatter incident and decided to tell YOU about it via their monumentally huge information-dump called “The News.”

Let’s walk down this section of instructional pathway one more time: someone you don’t know heard about this incident, which I think as incidents go could justifiably be called an insane one…..and then needed to tell you about it. And for this he got a paycheck enabling him to pay his rent: for telling you about this totally insane upheaval of quarreling sides involving bleeding vaginas and whether bleeding twats should be prepared-for in the men’s room. Not just in the ladies’ room. And these aren’t really men and ladies here: these are kids. Should Kotex dispensers be in the boys’ bathroom: that’s the looming question here: should Kotex be available to boys. In the boys’ lavatory. At school. Where these machines won’t last ten minutes when one of the Normal boys kicks it to pieces while laughing.

This of course is not anticipated by the Democrat. And would not occur to the Republican. And certainly, would not be brought to anyone’s attention by the hack. Unless the hack was me of course. No, he just brought the nonsense to everyone’s attention. Why? Because he KNEW it would be energetically “debated” by people engaging in “conversations” about it.

So: here’s what happened in even more detail and also an explanation of WHY it happened. You’ll actually learn the WHY of it all. Unlike what you will learn from fuckyfuck and his editor at Fux News.

So, the Republican was the first Asshole Fucking Idiot to propose this Kotex rule. The Republican office holder just dreamed this idea up. Probably while thinking about high school girls going to the bathroom. And his daydream PROBABLY did not involve Kotex at the time. Or bleeding twats. Or urine. He probably just figured, “You know what?….as long as I’m daydreaming about high school girls’ twats, why not make my daydream PUBLIC under a disguise or a ruse or a politically-correct act of ‘caringness’ because you know what?….that will be funny: here I am thinking about teenage twats and I manage to transform it into fucking ‘noble and caring virtue and saintliness and selflessness.’ Or, in other words, the exact opposite of what is really going on, which is me just thinking about teens’ twats.”

So, this Republican decided it would be a good idea to command into existence menstrual-blood collectors in the girls’ bathroom. He’s getting paid god only knows what to do something that is not specifically spelled-out as a job requirement other than “making things better” and this is what he comes up with to make things better: Kotex in the school bathroom.

Okay. So, there’s that guy. That’s what HE’S doing. Dreaming of twats and Kotex and menstrual blood and somehow making his daydreams public under some crazed guise of caring about teen twats, not just daydreaming about them but CARING about them. He’s getting 200 grand a year of your money to talk about teen twats’ blood-leakage publicly….and get away with it. Because he doesn’t want to FUCK their pussies, no of course not. He wants to protect them from stains and odor. That’s all.

I should mention, fair to say, that this notion – which when bureaucrats have notions they become “bills” – this “bill“ which this asshole dreamed up likely will not actually involve Kotex Brand cunt-stanchers. Unless Kotex is now headquartered in China, then, who knows. But will more likely involve, if a specific cunt-blocker is written into the bill, be more like something called “Happy Kunt PeePee Leakee-Leakee Brand Poison-Oak Clusters From North Korea.” Or Afghanistan. I mean my FIRST question would be does this guy own stock in twat-blankets? Because who thinks of this shit just outa the fucking blue.

So anyway, this doesn’t end with Senyore Republican coming up with this emergency protocol for a non-existent anything, forget emergency, no, not at all, here’s where the Democrat cunt got involved with her objection to all this. Do you think her objection was “This is stupid”? No. That was not her objection.

Her PROBLEM with all this is that the Republican wanted the twat-drainage rags…… to be provided just in the girls’ room. To repeat, the Democrat’s PROBLEM with this idiotic idea wasn’t that it was an idiotic idea. The problem was it wasn’t idiotic ENOUGH. It needed to be stupider. I WILL give Democrats this: they can improve upon ordinary stupid and elevate it to monumental-level stupid as though they were born to it.

Let that sink in: the imbecile Republican with time on his hands wanted the free, probably pre-moistened with jizz just for laughs, sanitary napkin cunt blockers designed for use on cunts’ cunts exclusively……he wanted them just in the girls’ bathroom.

It’s at this point that this other idiot, the Democrat one, pipes up and says “That of course is something all us adults should be thinking about, teenage girls’ twats. But let’s not forget that there are teenage girls who are declaring and announcing that they are actually teenage boys. And these declared-males with twats will be allegedly squatting, maybe standing, maybe doing cartwheels, it’s really none of my business, they will be in some crotch-related configuration in the boy’s room taking a piss out their twat vaginal cunt-pussies….. and they will need a Chinese crotch-mask too! Maybe. I really don’t know. I’m just guessing. I mean, it could be the case.

I’m speaking in the context of an abundance of Kotex. I mean of caution. OR….. they might have penises but identify as girls. And might want a fake Chinese imitation Kotex up their asses. Because maybe their asses identify as twats. So yeah: this is a great really stupid idea but it needs to be made a lot stupider.”

This then is the matter that is under actual serious discussion such that Fox needs to calmly report on it. Remember, as far as these people are concerned and the journalist and his editor and the CEO of Fox are concerned….. this is not a topic that should have everyone involved in talking about it sent to Siberia to die in the cold. Oh no! Oh contrair. This is in fact a topic that should of course properly have a bonafide journalist discussing it objectively, like it’s a real thing.

And by all means Democrat office holders and Republican office holders should be actively engaging in the ins and outs and the pros and cons of this vital topic that has attracted even the mighty overseers at Fox News so that once the decision is made regarding this extremely important matter of what to put in what bathrooms of the mandatory teen-prison-attendance facilities it will create, as do all government actions, the exact opposite of its intent. Not that we actually know what the intended intent actually is in this case. Which is good.

The nuttiness of this, however, goes way beyond the issue under discussion. The issue itself is the very least of the problems of this situation. Because the issue is being created by something even crazier than the issue itself called “representatives” – who have jobs that have no actual job description other than “representative.” Even though no one in particular is being represented.

The representative’s “job” is representation. But not of anyone in particular. Just representationalism for its own sake. Your representative represents representness. NO “representative” actually has met even one one- millionth of the people he is “representing.” So, he’s not actually a representative. No one has access to him, nor does he want anyone accessing him. So, he’s basically nothing. And yet he is expected to “do” things. But why would he know how to “do” things when his job has no things to “do” IN its job description. Which it also doesn’t have: a job description. So, what is he supposed to DO? HE doesn’t know. YOU don’t know. Nobody knows.

Well, since he knows on some level that he doesn’t know what his job is as representative of people he doesn’t know, he asks OTHER “representatives” and THEY don’t know either. So, they band together and decide amongst each other like comrades, “Well, we’ll do what we want until someone tells us to tone it down a bit. Then we’ll tone it down a bit until it’s safe to ramp it up again.”

And there are no punishments for coming up with idiocy. Or passing it into law, so that EVERYBODY has to become an idiot. Like their non-representative representatives are. Except stupid as they are we’re not as stupid as the people they are representing since what they have is Job Security without even having a job! Kinda like a Mob job on a construction site!

So, you have two piles of representatives who are not representing anyone….. agitating the people they are not actually representing into demanding that not only should the non-representational representatives create more mandatory edicts but that there should be even more frequent replacements of non-representational representatives than are currently being replaced at the present pace at which they are not being replaced at.

Meanwhile the huge hordes of people who they are supposed to be representing even though they are not actually representing them or even know who the fuck they are – these people are busy yelling at each other that one pile of non-representing representatives is 100% wrong in their non-representational decisions and opinions while the other pile (there are only two piles) while the other pile of non-representing representatives is 100% right in their non-representational decisions and opinions.

So you have two piles of representatives who are not actually representing anyone and an even larger pile of people who are convinced they are actually being represented by the people they keep electing into representative posts who they never met or if they did meet just got a smile and a handshake and a “Hey, good to see you, hope I get your vote”…..which therefore which is three piles of malarky or delusion-filled people: two groups of which have “jobs” that require no product other than non-representational representation, a third group that insists the first two groups are absolutely necessary to prevent chaos and then you have a fourth group called “reporters” who REPORT on all this as though it is actually some sort of functional aspect of civilization. Rather than something fucking batshit as hell.

Let’s review AGAIN because I think it’s necessary: There’s four groups of people in America ACTUALLY running things, despite what the flat-earthers tell you, all of them batshit: there’s two groups of representatives who do not represent anyone and who are at odds with each other exclusively since they are the only people they ever see on a day to day basis in the “workplace” unless it happens that they are NOT at odds with the opposition, namely other non-representational representatives who they are in agreement with unless they are in disagreement with them: there’s a group of people who “have” representatives who do not actually represent them since they never met them, talked to them, came over the house, swam in their pool, chatted with them on the phone, and then there’s a fourth group who MONITOR the other three groups and intrude opinions or suggestions or attitudes or observations into their reports on the other three groups to either suggest one of the three groups is more right or less wrong than one or the other of the other groups, and they’re kind of like some sort of batshit independent crazed weird fuel-onto-the-fire kind of berserk outlier pretending or claiming to be indifferent onlookers only interested in the other three groups getting along as much as possible. Even though they’re lying.

So, you have “representatives” who basically are not representatives. They’re just people with an imaginary “job.” It gets worse: they would not be IN their imaginary jobs unless the imaginary job actually existed beforehand. And the reason the imaginary job exists is because the people being imaginarily represented insisted that the imaginary jobs be created. So you have people in jobs that are not jobs, representing no one as representatives of other people who insisted the imaginary representational jobs be created, so that eternally-rotating selected individuals who often self-selected themselves to “run for office” as imaginary representatives of people they will never meet or know or recognize in a crowd…can order the crowd around…..at the insistence of the crowd itself which demands that someone represent them in an imaginary capacity.

And now you know why everything in America is nuts. It’s because that’s what everyone actually wants. Welcome to ”our sacred democracy.”

–J.J. Solari