by J.J. Solari
1: The pandemic reached immediate-global-emergency-level one day after the impeachment effort was killed in the Senate. Suggesting Donald Trump’s Presidency is the actual cause of the virus. His orange skin dye may have been the incubating agent.
2: Covid-19 started in a bat and also in a clandestine biological warfare lab in China run by The Weekly World News and MI-6 and also in a “wet-market” which is journalese horror-vocabulary for butcher shop, and also in a Vietnamese dog-eating contest vomitorium and from a leaky freezer used by Dracula for unspecified purposes.
3: Covid-19 is so deadly that the only way to fight it successfully until the time comes that we can fight it more successfully is by lowering the body count of deceased victims, which now is everyone’s responsibility.