As bikers, most of us realize we are engaged in an activity that can be inherently dangerous. Haulin’ the mail down the freeway at 100 mph + with no more than a few inches between you and the pavement can often times leave you in need of healthcare. Now, good health care will cost you a little more than a couple of bucks. A good alternative to high cost private health care is the HMO. No, not a ‘homo’ or ‘gay guy’, but an H.M.O. – Health Maintenance Organization. These institutions can offer reasonable health care at a reasonable price, but some are better than others. Since we feel it our responsiblity to watch out for our readers, we’ve found some things to look for once you’ve selected one to help you decide whether or not you should stay with your ‘HMO’.
Top Ten Signs You Have Joined A Cheap HMO
10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgsicles.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is “An apple a day.”
5. Your “primary care physician” is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges” is not a typo.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn’t come in different colors with little “M”s on them.
And the Number 1 Sign You’ve Joined a Cheap HMO is
1. You ask for Viagra; you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
