Ya know, sometimes the term Otherside has a mysterious connotation, like when somebody’s draggin’ in their last breath, and they croak, “See you on the Otherside.” Sometimes the grass is greener on the Otherside of the fence. Sometimes, it refers to good versus evil.
Sometimes it’s just the side ya can’t see.
When my bro, “D” (nobody knows what “D” actually stands for, hence the mysterious part, though Demonic and Demented have been suggested), told me that he opened OTHERSIDE INDUSTRIES, in the center of California’s San Joaquin Valley, I thought I’d better see what the Otherside was like for myself, so I just saddled up an’ moseyed on down.
The first thing I noticed was that he’d chosen the ideal location. Sandwiched neatly between a pizza parlor and a tattoo studio, you can get fed, drunk, and inked before ya know what hit ya. By the time I washed the pepperoni grease off my tongue with a few cold brews, I didn’t have enough loot left to have a 6-year-old draw pictures on my hide with a felt pen.
“Howdy, ‘D’,” I yelled, as I wandered across his new, gray carpet.
“Kinda sticky for new carpet, ain’t it,” I started to ask? But that was before I noticed the trail of old chewin’ gum I was leavin’ behind with every step.
“Nice digs, Bro!” I said, lookin’ around at all the bike bling, great lookin shirts an’ stuff. I drew his attention away from the pink goo I left on the carpet. “When did ya open up?”
“June first”, he said, eying the clumps of dirt crusted Juicy Fruit I was still leavin’ behind.
I walked over to one of the racks and picked up a black T-shirt with a pole dancer on it. “Strip Club Choppers”, I mused. “I’ve seen ‘em on TV, on American Thunder! Ya don’t see their stuff much around here.”
“That’s because I’m the exclusive Central Valley dealer for Strip Club Choppers’ stuff,” he replied, trying to hide half a box of donuts under the counter before I saw ‘em.“I’m also a dealer for Dragonfly, Lucky 13, and Felon Clothing Company.” He pointed out shirts with flames, dice, skulls, and girls on ‘em. “And since I deal directly with them, I can sell the clothing for less than the trendy shops do. I have my own line of Otherside clothing too, like shirts, hats, beanies, and the like. I also have the fingerless riding gloves with gel in the palms. They’re great for absorbing handlebar vibrations.”
“Man, I really like this logo,” I said, pickin’ up one of the too cool Otherside Industries shirts. “An’ those sunglasses are cool lookin’ too!” I said, heading over to the display to try on a few pair.
“I carry a pretty good selection of “beanie” helmets, too”, he told me, indicating the rows of skid-lids on one wall, lookin’ like matin’ season on Turtle Island.
“Well, well, what have we here,” I asked, lookin’ through the glass counter top at some wicked lookin’ knives?
“Those are made in Italy”, he said. “Good steel, and sleek design.”
The phone rang, and as he turned to answer it, I took the opportunity to boost one of the donuts he’d carefully hidden beside the knife display.
“Mmmm… These weren’t made in Italy,” I grinned, lickin’ my finger to pick up the little colored sprinkles that now littered the counter, and grabbin’ a Dickens Energy Cider from the little cooler on the shelf behind me. “Good stuff!” I saluted him with my now half empty can.
Lookin’ over the accessories, I saw lots of great stuff from KuryAkin, Arlen Ness, and others just waitin’ to go for a ride with ya.
“I’m a dealer for Heartland U.S.A., Custom Chrome, Drag Specialties, V-Twin, Red Line Oils, K&N filters, Avon and Metzler tires, Eddie Trotta’s Thunder Cycles, and Wicked Image billet accessories,” he said, wiping the smudges from the glass with an orange handkerchief. “I also keep several styles of batteries fully charged, to fit most bikes, ‘cause when you need one, you don’t want to have to spend several hours charging it before you can ride.”
“So… When’s the grand opening gonna be,” I asked, wipin’ the cider off my mustache with my shirt sleeve?
“I’m working on the permits now,” he replied. “I want to have music, a beer garden, and all that, but I have to get the permits first.”
Since more is merrier, I’ll try to let ya know when the big party at Otherside is gonna be, but ya better call “D” to get the strait scoop, ‘cause if he’s buyin’ donuts, I may not be invited! Till then, if ya want to dress up yer scoot or yer bod, ya can’t find better pickin’s for either job than ya can at Otherside!
You can find OTHERSIDE INDUSTRIES at 4751 North Blackstone, in Fresno, Cal., or call “D” at 559-224-RIDE.
