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Read More March 1, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 2
LADIES’ NIGHT OUT– The other day, my friends and I went to a ladies’ night out club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friendpulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill. I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunatelyshe just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks, again. My relief was shortlived.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me! Noweveryone’s attention is focused on me, and the guy’s egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could Ido? I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home.
NEW SITE–ROADHOUSE.COM– I wanted y’all to be aware ofour connect with Bikernet. We are gettin’ a shot in there almost everyweek. This should help promote Roadhouse. Bandit and I are pals, but thatis just us. He has said he would like to “goof” with me. So, Ilet him know, it’s me and him, at 20 paces with squirt guns. And then Iasked, RH Prick to be my second and he sent the letter. We are into thisshit now. But, win or lose, we might get the coverage to pump our sails.
And it seems Mr.Bandit is hip to the cha-cha:) We need his support; sogive it time to work, before any of you crazy purple/black piratesstart to really whip “on.line” with that crew from the purple/white.Let’s see, purple/white, doesn’t that fade to pink? Maybe I shouldn’t havesaid that; oh well:) It’s a game I feel we all can dig. Now, don’t worry’bout sellin’ the farm to get out here. We have enough crew ’round theBiker World to have at least one or two of us to whip on these richf..ers from Bikernet. We all can fight, fuck, or just like Johnny said,Have a ball! How many days is it to Hollister? Commander Ball, it’s youand me, sir. Stop light to light? Pick it? Sorry, it ain’t like the old days,I can’t put up the Redhead. If I do, don’t tell:)
With respect to thosethat count. Ride On! Wino Joe
Hey Joe, you’ll have to send me a big check to make me a rich fuck. If I was rich I’d live in Monterey with you instead of the back streets of San Pedro. Aren’t you riding a new bike? Hell, I’m so poor I can’t pay attention. I’d have a fuckin’ banner here that you could click on and go to their site, but can they get their shit together?–No.
DEASEL UNVEILED–Yes folks, here’s the woman rider behind all the new sizzlin’ fiction on Bikernet. She can turn a tale, make me duck in an empty room or have me chasin’ the new redhead around the house with just a paragraph. Check out her hot style in the story section of Bikernet.
LITTLE MARTIN IS– 4 years old. One day while he was pestering his mother, she said, “Why don’t you go across the street and watch the construction workers building that house? Maybe you will learn something.”
Martin was gone about two hours. When he came home, his mother asked him what he had learned. Martin replied: “Well, first you put the goddamn door up. Then the son of a bitch doesn’t fit, so you have to take the cocksucker down. Then you have to shave a cunt hair off each side and put the motherfucker back up.”
Shocked, Martin’s mother said, “You just wait till your father gets home!”
When Martin’s father got home the mother asked him to ask Martin what he had learned that day. When Martin told him the whole story, dad said,
“Martin, go outside and get me a switch.”
Martin replied, “Fuck you, that’s the electrician’s job.”
Jesus, 1.3 million hits? This really is the best Web site!–Nick Trumbo,ex-Excelsior-Henderson MMC
HANNON RACING READIES MOM FOR ORLANDO– Bill Hannon, owner and crew chief of Hannon Racing, is pleased to announcethat Dan Baisley of Portland, Ore., will be flying into Ft. Myers, Fla., on March2 to test MOM. He went on to explain: “MOM is the name of our No. 2 motor. This is themotor that we ran at Rockingham last year setting the 1/8 mile to 4.755seconds, the new 1/8 mile mph record was increased to 149.91 mph and adazzling new World ET and personal best at 7.574 seconds for the “We are looking forward to going to the race track on March 3 andtrying some of the things that we have been working on. The racetrack has away of showing you if what you did over the winter was worth your effort. Wehave both motors ready to go and we will be running MOM and setting up WES. WES is our No. 1 motor and we’re looking forward to showing what he can do aswell. We look forward to seeing all of our racing friends in Orlando, and wewish all of you a safe trip down and back.” Hannon Racing is supported on their 2001 national circuit by Axtell Sales,Inc., Baisley Hi-Performance, D & G Chassis, Harley Davidson of Ft. Myers,The Landings Realty, Inc., Red Line Oil, MRE, BPM Racing Engines, and DynaTek, RK Chain, Bandit Clutch, Vanson Leathers, & Mastercam. Hannon– www.hannonracing.com SAMSON EXHAUST’S NEW LOGO–Samson’s story of how he built the business from the garage up is now on the site, along with his new logo. “Although the monster logo of the past served the company well for a decade, it was time to make a change,” said Kenny Samson during a Mardi Gras party on Bourbon Street on his way to Daytona for Bike Week. THREE OLD SISTERS– 92, 94, and 96 years old, all lived together. One day the oldest drew a bath. She put one foot in the water, paused, then called downstairs to her sisters, “Am I getting in the tub or out of the tub?” The middle sister started up the stairs to help, then paused and called back downstairs, “Was I going up or coming down?” The youngest sister, who was sitting at the kitchen table having tea, said, “I guess I’ll have to help. I hope I never get that forgetful!” and knocked on wood. She got up, then paused, and called, “I’ll come up as soon as I see who’s at the door!” –Nick Trumbo MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE NEWS–It is an ode to you, my dear. Much love. THE MAGIC MAN: Leave it to the massive, strong arms of mighty Banditenfolding this New York City biker babe to send me all a quiver and protectme from those who lack respect. Bandit is a master life instructor who canteach a lesson or two. Boy can he drill a message home! [Sigh] Must bethe magic from years living on the road and breathing in two-wheeledfreedom. Bandit, the magic man… Leave it to the hunka burnin’ flesh and steel with his smooth, deep, voiceto coax me near, ever closer still, and whisper to me, his breath hot, hismustache brushing against my ear, the value of my creativity, mycontributions to the fold, my ambition and bright future. My left eyebrowlifts both inquisitively and dreamily as I exhale, “Yes. Yes!” Oh, there is a default toughness to me alright, living and surviving in NewYork City; but, sometimes toughness eludes me, especially in business and mycareer as I seek to please and always try to do the right thing towardsfolks–sometimes giving a second or even third chance. No more. Now, I havea renewed sense of how to handle those poor bastards who seek to take, whoseek to dish negative karma because they want to benefit without givingback. They will not steal my magic. I leave them to crush their own soulsand…Bandit works his magic… The life lessons so generously given by Bandit were deep, penetratingmassages, I mean, messages, that brought this Godiva to a higherunderstanding and sweet, so sweet realization, “Yes. Yes!” Darling Bandittaught this damsel a thing or two about how to handle those who treaddisrespectfully in one’s space. So carefully you watched and rescuedme..you’ve renewed my power, my prowess, my diva, my magic. Thank you forthe delicious lessons learned and for keeping me close and watching my backin all ways. Bandit, YOU are the magic, man. –Sasha Vancouver BC CANADA HOG Chapter Schedule ofevents for 2001–NOTE:VANCOUVER HOG CHAPTER MEETINGS WILL BE HELD IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH,SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER,NOVEMBER, & DECEMBER THE MEETING WILL BE ON THE FIRST TUESDAY EVENING AT7PM UNLESS IT FALLS ON ALONG WEEKEND. THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXT TUESDAY EVENING THAT ISNOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THEMONTHS OF APRIL, MAY, JUNE, & JULY THE MEETING WILL BE HELD ON THE FIRSTSATURDAY OF THE MONTH WITHA MYSTERY RIDE AFTER THE MEETING. UNLESS IT FALLS ON A LONG WEEKEND.THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXTSATURDAY THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THERE WILL NOT BE A VANCOUVERCHAPTER BUSINESS MEETING INAUGUST OF THIS YEAR.March 6th HOG Meeting 4608 Imperial in Burnaby Call (604) 434-1502March 17th Ladies of Harley hosts a Wacky Casino Night Call (604)434-1502March 29th Dinner at On Loc Restaurant , 2010 East Hastings, Vancouvercall (604) 434-1502March 31st Ride our Metal Demo days at Trev Deeley Motorcycles Call(604) 291 BIKE CHROME SPECIALTIES LAUNCHES COMPLETE NEW CATALOG ON WEB–I’m embarrassed to say that I recently found out that the CCI catalog is not available on the Internet. I’ve been pointing riders and builders to their site for over a year. Fortunately, their sister company has their entire catalog posted in their own site. So in the future when someone is looking for a part I have a catalog right on Bikernet for them to check. We’re currently working with CCI to help them launch their catalog. The Bikernet Digital Gangster volunteered to assist. It’s important that our readers can research parts as quickly as possible, find a dealer and get back on the road before happy hour is over. We’ll let you know when the big book of Custom Chrome is available. I’ve been curious to check out the Alhambra Bar in Pedro. The whiskey is always waiting, and Layla is waiting on a couch across town. Hope Daytona is killer. Let’s ride–Bandit.
AS THE STORM SURF LAPS AT THE BLUFF ACROSS THE STREET–and the basement begins to fill with water, the soaked electrical box begins to sputter and spark. Hang in there with us. We’ll keep this damn thing afloat. We’re only allowed to sing the blues for a couple of hours, then it’s time to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and hit the road.
March 1, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
NOTICE TO ALL VIETNAM VETS–If a military member served any place in Vietnam and contracts prostatecancer, it is now consideredservice-related. If you have had prostate cancer, you are entitled to aservice-related disability. All claims should be filed at your nearest VAoffice. Widows and wives: If your husband died or dies from prostate cancer,you are entitled to dependency and indemnity compensation (DIC) from the VA ($833 per month).
QUANTUM REPORT– Though I was unable to attend the recent Quantum court case on Feb. 26in Orlando, Fla., people there have reported that the judge did approve the sale of bikes and parts to Aquino’s Auto Service Inc.
It is hopeful that the monies recieved from this will go toward payingmoney owed to them for previous work prior to Quantum going bankrupt. All people who are owed money are urged to contact the court and fill outthe proper paperwork.
Aquino’s Auto ServiceInc. offered to purchase certain properties for the sum of $251,000. The trustee had recieved a deposit of $25,000. The trustee will pay a totalof $25,100 to Michael McCusker, Robert Guess and Frank Aliano for servicesrendered in finding and negotiating the sale, leaving $225,900 to the estate.
For furthur information, you will have to contact the court or the trustee. If youdo not have their address, feel free to contact me.
–ROGUE
BUELL REPORT–New featured Buell on Bikernet:Here are some shots of Mike’s ’95 S2 Buell. Mike has just retired, again. This S2 has a really cool paint job. Pretty much stock right now, except it has a SUPERTRAPP muffler on the stock Buell pipe.Mike plans to put in Screamin’ Eagle cams and install Buell Thunderstorm heads. The heads will receive some mild port work along with Evo Big Twin-size intake valves.
Maybe I can also talk him into a Buell race header pipe. That way he can really use the full potential from the cam and the head combo. I’m also recommending the V-Thunder ignition along with some carb re-work.
I really like these S2s about the best of all the Buell models since ’95. They were pretty much a handmade, low- production bike. Lots of carbon fiber and cool body work.My other favorite Buell is the first one I ever saw in 1987 and that was the RR1000. This model had the XR1000 engine for a power plant.
This is the Buell that Don Tilley raced sucessfully in the Battle of the Twins series in the late ’80s.That’s it for now.
Paul
PERFORMANCE MACHINE AND SPORTBIKE RIDERS ASSOCIATION ARE NEW FASTDATES.COM CALENDAR SPONSORS FOR 2002 SEASON–
Gianatsis Design is happy to announce the signing of two companies as title sponsors of our popular FastDates.com calendars for 2002, joining our current established sponsors Mikuni and White Brothers.
One sponsorship agreement involves Performance Machine, the world’s leading manufacturer of billet- manufactured brakes, wheels and controls for the sportbikeand custom streetbike markets. Performance Machine will be joining Mikuni American as co-title sponsors of the best- selling Iron & Lace Custom Motorcycle Pinup Calendar. The calendar will be photographed by Jim Gianatsis of Penthouse, with Pet of the Year Novotna Zdenka with a Performance Machine custom Hardtail featured in a new Performance Machine national magazine advertising campaign. The agreement also welcomes Performance Machine as an associate sponsor this year of the Gianatsis Design/FastDates.com produced 2001 White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show on July 21-22 at the Queen Mary, Long Beach, Calif. More bike show information is available at the FastDates.com Web site at http://www.fastdates.com.
The next sponsorship agreement welcomes the Sportbike Riders Association
WORKER DEAD AT DESK FOR 5 DAYS–Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to find out why no one noticedthat one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for FIVE DAYSbefore anyone noticed.
George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proof-reader at a NewYork firm for 30 years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office heshared with 23 other workers.
He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturdaymorning when an office cleaner asked why he was still working during theweekend.
His boss, Elliot Wachiaski, said: “George was always the first guy in eachmorning and the last to leave at night, so no one found it unusual thathe was in the same position all that time and didn’t say anything.
“He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself.”
Ironically, George was proofreading manuscripts of medical textbookswhen he died.
You may want to give your co-workers a nudge occasionally.And the moral of the story:Don’t work too hard. Nobody notices anyway.
SIN WU TAKES OVER BIKERNET CYBER BIKE SHOW– Sundance, the blond bombshell who developed and ran the Bikernet Cyber Bike Show, fell in love and ran off recently. Since the show that offers free enrollment to riders all over the world was growing so fast, we assigned another bombshell to keep the fires burning. Sin Wu, Bandit’s scholarly nooner, will be stroking contestants and lashing Oz when he forgets to judge the winners. Here’s some recent correspondence regarding the show.
Sundance,
I received the various prizes and goodies Friday afternoon. I must tell you that it was one of the BEST prizes I have ever won in a bike show. Even my wife enjoyed going through the box. It reminded me of opening packages on Christmas day. I started reading the book, man that is great stuff! The story line is outstanding. Even if you don’t ride it’s a very good story.
The only regret I have is the postcard was not signed by Brenda Fox. But what the hell, I got a postcard with her picture on it.
There is no doubt in my mind that these prizes are the most significant and meaningful awards I have ever received, the 5-ball and the book will make for a great story.
I wish to tell you how much I appreciate you hosting an event like this, and keep on truckin!
Roy Berry
SFC USA RET
1990 1200 Sportster
Got my prizes yesterday….Please tell Bandit I said THANKS!
The trophy is way cool…as well as the Orwell book (tell bandit it’s in a place of honor…my mini library -complete with throne :-). Great T-shirt too, except you could wrap it around me two or three times – it’s an XXXL and I ain’t even an XL (although I’m getting there).
Thanks again, Sundance. Thanks to Bandit as well. And tell Bandit the only complaint I got against Bikernet is that I can’t read it in the can…… Keep Bikernet alive!
Lucky Dave
Hey…
Nice book! But I’m a biker… if I ain’t ridin’ down the road or in the shoppolishin’ my bike, I’m either polk’n the ole’ lady or saw’n logs. Ain’t ya gotsomethin’ with some girly pictures in it instead? But hey… you wrote it,and any man’s original work is at least worth a shot to look at. I’ll giveit a go.
What bar’d you swipe that 5-ball from that’s on the trophy you sent?Couldn’t help but notice a few gouges in it from bounc’n off walls andfloors. Oh well, guess that’s “character”, huh? What should I expect fornuth’n! At least I got a shot at havin’ my bike win a show and seein’ it on theInternet. Thanks for puttin’ on the show for us all. You guys got a greatWeb site.
Great talent with the animations, too. Jon definitely has the skillwith the pen and ink. Keep up the good work. I’ll let you know what Ithink about your book when I finish eatin’ the pages.
–Ride On!FC
HEY–Stop working on L’il John’s desk and get the Cantina open, along with themember’s only area. Buttera’s been without that desk for just aboutforever, and a few more years more or less won’t upset the apple cart ;-}
About the lame method for getting rid of your cold. It had nothingwhatsoever to do with eating fruits and vegetables, but everything to dowith whiskey drinkin’, sex and having to deal with the California Departmentof Motor Vehicles tryin’ to get the Blue Flame registered. Ya see,dealing with a bureaucrat of any kind develops an intense hatred, borderingon the psychotic. This in turn creates an artificial fever, which burns thedamn nasties up. The whiskey purges their seared and withered carcassesfrom your system into the local San Pedro sewers, while thesex……………Hell, it’s gotta do some good! Maybe it just rechargesthe batteries. Yea, that’s it!
Drive Fast………Take Chances…….,Gunracer
NEW PLATFORM ON THE MARKET–Here’s a bright idea, but it doesn’t lift. Damn, it’s sharp though, and you can move your downed bike around the shop like skates on ice. For more information, visit www.cyber-tec.com/diamond-deck
Continued on Page 3
March 1, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
HOW TO SING THE BLUES–So much bad shit has happened this week, we felt it was appropriate to publish the following for all those guys who were arrested this week, lost a girl or got run over. We’ll all meet at the Alhambra Bar in San Pedro next weekend and get shit faced while cutting our first CD.
1. Most blues begin “woke up this morning.”
2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line. Like:
“I got a good woman — with the meanest dog in town.”
3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Like: Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and he weighs `bout 500 pounds.
4. Teenagers can’t sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
5. You can have the blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just a depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues.
8. The following colors do not belong in the blues:
a. Violet
b. Beige
c. Mauve
9. You can’t have the blues in an office or a shopping mall.
10. Good places for the blues:
a. The highway
b. The jailhouse
c. The empty bed
Bad places:
a. Ashrams
b. Gallery openings
c. Weekend in the Hamptons
— Bluely,
Southside TZ
CHROME SERVICES– We have an advertiser, Chris Hill, who does several things. Most of them are wrong, but one of his bits is chrome. He handles chrome and polishing for Harley-Davidson and several other manufacturers. He grew up in chrome shops and knows how it should be done, so if you have a large run of parts and you want someone to oversee the finish work, contact Chrome Services. In fact, Chris is watching over the part for John Buttera’s desk project.
Above is another Chris Hill endeavor. He has his own line of handlebars. Check ’em out.
BLUE FLAME FOR SALE–That’s right. One of the few rigids rode to Sturgis this last year is going on the block with less than 3,000 miles on the clock. It was recently featured in Hot Bike. Before Bandit rides it across the country, jump on it. If interested write to: Bandit@bikernet.com.
This is the best handling rigid Bandit has ever had the pleasure to build and ride. You can see the entire build up on the site in the Garage/Tech area or under the Custom Chrome Department.
SPORTS FANS, PAY ATTENTION–Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: “I want all thekids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulateme.’
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: “Iwant to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”
And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skins say: “I’d run over my own motherto win the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said, “To win, I’d runover Joe’s mom, too.”
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: “Nobody infootball should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like NormanEinstein.”
CALL TO ACTION IN DAYTONA–We’ll be looking for reports from the East Coast as the world launches into another Bike Week in Daytona this weekend. Watch for the Bikernet billboard on Speedway Boulevard and let us know what the hell is happening out there.
Continued on Page 2
February 22, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 2
EASYRIDERS OF HOUSTON EARNS BIG DOG MOTORCYCLES’ 2000 DEALER OF THE YEAR AWARD–Easyriders of Houston led all 57 of Big Dog’s dealerships in total motorcycle sales. A strong Big Dog dealer since it opened three years ago, Easyriders of Houston has proved to be a model dealership in every respect, with a professional mix of strong motorcycle sales, top-notch customer service and a spacious sales facility that provides an inviting atmosphere for all motorcycling enthusiasts. In addition, Easyriders of Houston has assembled a superior management team in Bert and Debbie Williams and Lee Hayes. This team has shown considerable skill in marketing Big Dog and putting together a knowledgeable sales staff that understands the product.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON NAMES JIM McCASLINPRESIDENT & CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER OF MOTOR COMPANY– James A. McCaslin, 52, has been namedpresident and chief operating officer of Harley-Davidson Motor Co.He will assume the newposition on March 1.
McCaslin joined Harley-Davidson Motor Company in 1992 as vice president andgeneral manager, York operations. He was appointed vice president,continuous improvement in 1997. In 1999, he became vice president, dealerservices. He has a bachelor’s degree in industrial engineeringfrom General Motors Institute and a master’s in industrialengineering from Virginia Polytech. He also attended the advancedmanagement program at Harvard University.
LT. BALL, BIKERNET BOSS–OK sailor, I started readin’ my Christmas card. They want me ta keep’achart of my blood pressure; I did my 2-mile walk and took it and it was cool. Itstarted to rain, so I ain’t ridin’ to the American Legion. I thought if Ikicked back with your book and checked it again after an hour, it wouldeven be better; WRONG:) But maybe you should be happy with that. Now yagot scientific proof, your writing really gets to your reader.
— Ride On! Wino Joe, USA
BUBBA BLACKWELL REPORTS– Another day, Another Harley-Davidson World Record Jump…… This jump was Feb. 10 over 14 Freightliners. This jump was in myhometown of Foley, Ala. It was a sellout and helped raise funds for a kids’ park. The show was filmed for Extreme Machines, to air later thisyear on TLC.
–Thanks, Bubba
RALLY AT THE CAPITAL–There is a rally at the state capital on March 3 at 11 a.m. to protest Rep. Ruth Fisher’s not having a hearing on helmets.We will depart the McDonalds at 8 a.m., stop at the rest area in Everett to pick up the folks who live down there and be in Olympia by 11 to participate in the rally.If the weather is really bad, please feel free to drive a cage, but it would be best to make a show of it with bikes.I am asking Marc to lead us out of Everett to Olympia and the rally site, since I am not sure of the route.Please pass this info to everyone. The more bikes we have there the better.
–Bob
OUR WEEKLY TRIBUTE TO BLONDES– A business man got on an elevator in a downtown office building. As he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already in the car, and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F.” He smiled back at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.” She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F,” again. He acknowledged her remark by again answering, “S-H-I-T. ” The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F,” another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, “S-H-I-T.” The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, “T-G-I-F — T-hank G-oodness I-t’s F-riday; …. get it?” The man answered, “S-orry H-oney, I-t’s T-hursday.”
ULTIMATE BILLET CLOCKS–That’s it. Real billet aluminum clocks by C.J. Allen, engraver supreme. There are only 10 of these puppies and they’re going fast for $150. I have two left in my hot little mitts. Send a check to Bikernet, P.O.Box 1168, San Pedro, Calif. 90733-1168. Each one is polished and engraved with the number.
THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE– is brought to you by Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For moreinformation, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Web site at <
From TheGUNNY’S SACKRight out of the box this month folks I want to remind you that the 2001National Coalition of Motorcyclists Convention is in Orlando, Fla., May10-12. The host hotel is already filled for some nights, but if you have anytrouble getting a room at the Marriott, you can still get rooms next door atthe Sheraton Suites at (407) 240-5555.Be sure and mention NCOM for the best rates.This promises to be the biggest and the best yet. Our AIM attorneys’pockets help provide the funds that support the NCOM Convention every yearand we should take full advantage of it. You will learn more about motorcyclepolitical activity here than at any other place I can think of, plus gettingto meet hundreds of other folks working just as hard as you are for ourrights.
OREGON STATS: Some statistics are out on last year’s Oregon motorcycleaccidents. The numbers are not pretty.There were 38 fatalities for the year and 29 were the biker’s fault. Ofthose, 12 were single vehicle, four of them alcohol-related. There were 17multi-rig fatalities and six had rider alcohol involvement. The 10 alcohol-relatedfatalities had blood alcohol levels averaging .145. Oregon law says .08 issufficiently under the influence that you can’t drive safely. 65.8% of thesewrecks were caused by excessive speed. In other words, tragedies from poorjudgment, as I see it.
Why do all our cries fall on deaf ears? Just here inthe Sack alone, I don’t know how many times we’ve pleaded with our brothersand sisters to take a riding course and don’t mix alcohol with bikes.According to these numbers, there would be 29 people who would probablystill be walking and riding this earth if 10 riders had NOT RIDDEN afterdrinking too much, and if 19 others had not ridden past their ability.
ON NETWORK TV: The very distinguished newsman and host of ABC TV’sNightline, Ted Koppel, came out of the biker closet on Jay Leno’s show inFebruary. Ted rode out on stage on a Harley, in a leather jacket — AND abeanie helmet! He said he rode 30 years ago, but his wife made him stop whenthey had kids! Ted says they’re all grown now, and he can do what he wants! Ilike that attitude. The guy really does have a mind of his own and I’ll justbet his wife rides right along with him too.
PHOENIX, AZ: Titan Motorcycle Co. of America has filed Chapter 11Bankruptcy. Chapter 11 will allow them to restructure some of theirprocedures and capitol needs.Titan is continuing all normal business operations and will continueuninterrupted services to its dealers and customers. In the last few yearswe’ve seen much improvement in all the big ride manufacturers because of thecompetition provided by these kinds of companies. The latest I have isthey’ve found new financing. Good news indeed.
EUROPE: This is globalization as I see it folks:For some years now, FEMA (Federation of European Motorcycle Associations)has taken part in the different committees dealing with Transport within theUnited Nations. One committee they’re involved in has been given theresponsibility to set up the construction standards for the ”World Bike”(Whoops! World Bike?), another is establishing a worldwide Road Safetystrategy. With the Multi-Directive, the ”Euro Bike” standards had beenestablished and FEMA was successfully in the front line to make sure that thebike was one that motorcyclists would enjoy riding. Now, they are working tomake sure that the ”World Bike” will be free of unnecessary restrictions.The European process, where Parliament and Member States have to reach anagreement for a proposal to be adopted is very different from this country.Within the UN, however, Member States operate independently. This means theresults achieved by motorcyclists in Europe will not necessarily be takeninto consideration worldwide. Remember the U.S., Australia, and Asia all arepart of this mess.
On the road safety side, the UN strategy for motorcycles includespromotion of leg protectors in the design of bikes and mandatory fluorescentand reflective clothing. Oh man! FEMA managed to avoid making these thingscompulsory in Europe and now the people that promote this stuff are backtrying to impose their will Internationally! These people want motorcyclesrestricted into oblivion, period.
WASHINGTON, DC: Kawasaki’s recalling about 18,000 motorcycles because therear brakes can fail. The recalled motorcycles are 2001 KX series motocrossrides with model numbers KX65, KX85, KX100, KX125, KX250 and KX500.The bikes were sold from May to November of last year. No injuries as aresult of the break defect have been reported yet but Kawasaki says STOPusing them NOW and get them to your nearest dealer for the fix, or Kawasakiwill send owners the kit to fix’em themselves. If you’ve got one of theseKawi’s, call your local dealership or Kawasaki at (866) 802-9381.
BOMBAY, India: Scooters are falling on their faces here. More people arebuying the fashionable, upscale motorcycles now because the lowly scooter isseen as DOWDY. Uh oh! What next? Maybe BIG MOTORCYCLES? Could be! Motorcyclesgrabbed more than 50% of the overall two-wheeler market there last year, upfrom less than 10% just a decade ago. Scooter sales have fallen almost 37% inthe past nine months. Those trends aren’t expected to change. I don’t thinkI’d invest in a scooter company in India right now.
TOKYO: Japan’s second-biggest automaker, Honda Motor Co. Ltd, is planningto expand domestic sales of cheap motorcycles made at its plants in Asia tocash in on growing demand for cut-price vehicles. The company has released anew series of bikes powered by 4-cycle 50cc engines, targeted mainly at theyouth market to improve domestic sales of the rides.
–Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff
“I voted Republican this year. The Democrats left a bad taste in mymouth.” — Monica Lewinsky
THE BARTENDER–The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?”
Theguy answers, “A scotch, please.”
The bartender hands him the drink, andsays “That’ll be fivedollars,”
To which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’towe you anything for this.”
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says tothe bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the originaloffer,which constitutes a bindingcontract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”
The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat mefor a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”
The next day, the same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, “What theheck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity tocome back!”
The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this placein my life!” The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this isuncanny.You must have adouble.”
To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”
STATE MOTTOS FOR 2001–
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si’ Hablo Ingles (Yes, I speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN–I decided yesterday to fire myself because ofsome terrible business decisions, coupled with daily sexual infractions. Then I had to re-hire myself due to the workload around here. Besides, when we discussed the news with the rest of the staff, Snake began drinking heavily, Zebra caught the next flight back to Europe, Renegade punched someone, Oz fell asleep and Wrench disappeared into the garage–no volunteers. I’ll hit the garage now and begin some tedious metal finishing job on the Buttera desk. The Blue Flame was featured in this month’s Hot Bike and they did a bang-up job. Check it out.
We here at Bikernet are aware of the economic slow-down in some segments of the country so we will be dropping prices on many of the products we carry. First, we’re offering a 10 percent discount on all Street Ware accessories and clothing. I hope to drop the postage and handling charges on all the HA leather line. We’ll be posting the info throughout the various gift shop areas.
Watch for an update on the Shovelhead project and next on the lift is a rubbermount Pro Street digger for Nuutboy. If you have any parts we could use, let us know. We need front end and drive line components. This weekend or next we have a couple of models coming to the headquarters to finish some slinky photography for the Ultimate Tech Tip. This is a sizzler. And they’ll be standing around nude waiting to try on a new line of Hawaiian shirts we’ll be carrying on the site. Some killer shit. In the meantime, let’s ride, Bandit.
February 22, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
SUPER-V ENTHUSIAST/WRITER–I follow your stuff in “The Horse.” I especially like to read about SanPedroas I visit relatives there and think it’s a cool town. I’ll attach a pieceabout my fun with the Super Vee (check out www.companyontheweb.com/veejazthe S.O.B. (Supervee Owner Builders club) Web site for more Vee info). “BackStreet Heroes” publishes my fiction fairly regularly. I wrote for “CanadianBiker” for over 10 years, ran the “Laughing Indian Riders” club andnewsletter for the past 15-plus years, and get a fair bit ofsci-fi/fantasy stuff published. I am currently writing short stories for a BBCTV documentary program on custom bikes, coming out in June.
Photos? I’veusually taken my own while writing pieces for “Canadian Biker” (I wrotereportage, research, fiction, and features for them, mainly the vintagescene). As a result I’ve got tons of bike shots, rallies, etc.–not to mention anextensive fiction portfolio.
I kicked my Vee awake last weekend and all mywinter modifications are performing as planned. I can’t wait to hit thePacific Northwest events this year. My Vee was turning 70mph at 2,000rpm in4th with a 23t trans sprocket. Now I’ve fitted a 20t so I won’t beembarrassing the HOG riders quite so badly as I lug past them. Yup! I’d saythe Vee has power. I’ll enclose a shot.
– Allan
Well brothers and sisters, should we allow a Super-V rider into the ranks?
BUELL REPORT–Saw the new picture in the Buell report on the shift linkage.Is that your bike? Where are you on that M2, anyway? Any headway on your upgrades?
I was setting up a new Red X1 today. Ran good, the fuel injection seemedto be working better on this 2001 model. Easier starting.Hey I liked that story on the engraver. In Chicago there are a lot the old world guys who work for the mold shops. Comet Die and Engraving has been around for over 100 years. Them old Germans know their shit. You should see them write script with a Bridgeport. The skill they have is something else.
— Paul
The Cyclone is coming along. We installed new Screamin’ Eagle cams. Watch this mod, because you will probably need to replace the pinion gear. We are replacing the header kit. Modified the carb and made a couple of cosmetic changes. The report will hit the site soon and perhaps be published in the Enthusiast.–Bandit
BIKE WEEK INFOJust as winter starts to get overbearing, a light appears at the end ofUS-1. It’s called Daytona Beach Bike Week. It happens once a year and it’sthe ultimate meeting of beach and bikes. Harley-Davidson wants to helpyou get the most out of this year’s event with our Daytona Survival Guide.
Daytona Beach Bike Week 2001 — March 5-11
THE RIDE–The best way to get to Daytona is on two wheels. For a ride that will rockyour world, try taking Route 1 south along the Atlantic coast. And onceyou’re there, cruise the famous Loop – a 22-mile ride that showcases thearea’s natural beauty. Whatever route you plan to take, you’ll probably bepassing through some unfamiliar territory. Stay out of trouble by knowinglocal riding laws. You should get familiar with the rules of the road(http://www.harley-davidson.com/experience/riding/region/region.asp) in thestates you will ride through, but here’s a quick look at the southern route:
Alabama: Safety helmet required by law. No eye protection required.Georgia: Safety helmet required by law and also eye protection (unless bikeis equipped with windscreen).Florida: Safety helmet not required if over the age of 21 with a minimum of$10,000 in medical insurance. Eye protection required.If you don’t have a helmet, the H-D RoadStore’s got plenty to choose from.
THE RIGHT STUFF–The weather is usually exceptional in Daytona, but you should be preparedfor anything, especially if you’re riding down from northern climates.Anyonewho’s ever ridden white-knuckled through a frigid Georgia rainstorm can tellyou that. But we’re not here to talk about problems. We’ve got solutions.
H-D Gore-Tex Rain Jacket, P/N 97251-00VX
http://rs.h-d.com/rainjacket
H-D Gore-Tex Gloves, P/N 97217-01VM
http://rs.h-d.com/raingloves
H-D Gore-Tex Rain Pant, P/N 97252-00VX
http://rs.h-d.com/rainpant
Rain Gaiter II, P/N 98348-99V
http://rs.h-d.com/raingaiter
Fleece Rain Bib, P/N 97029-00V
http://rs.h-d.com/rainbib
Extra gear requires extra storage. The SAC Bag collection fromHarley-Davidson Genuine Motor Accessories offers water-resistant,flexible storage with style that enhances your ride:
DAYTONA HISTORY–In 1961, Hall of Famer Roger Reiman led 99 of 100 laps aboard a 45cubic-inch Harley-Davidson KR Flathead Track Racer on his way to winningthe”World’s Greatest Motorcycle Race” in its inaugural running at DaytonaInternational Speedway. Reiman also finished first at Daytona on a Harleyin ’64 and ’65. For more Harley history, check out the H-D Timeline athttp://www.harley-davidson.com/company/history/history.asp
BIKE WEEK EVENTS–For the ultimate Harley experience at Daytona, you’ve got to know what’sgoing on. Visit our 2001 Daytona Bike Week At-A-Glance(http://www.harley-davidson.com/experience/events/daytona_01/index.asp)for a complete event schedule that’ll ensure you don’t miss a thing.And if you can’t make it to Daytona in person, just stop byhttp://www.harley-davidson.com between March 6-11 for dailyBike Week photos.
That’s all for now. Ride safe, and we’ll see you on Main Street.–The Genuine Harley-Davidson RoadStore
SIN CYCLES AND SINNER CLOTHING WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO COME SEE US AT THEUPCOMING EVENTS LISTED BELOW:
INDOOR MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET AT THE ORANGE COUNTY FAIR GROUNDS MARCH2, RAIN OR SHINE, 5 P.M. TO 10 P.M.
STEPHENS MIDDLE SCHOOL HOT ROD AND MOTORCYCLE SHOW, MARCH 4.LOCATED AT 1900 W. COLUMBIA IN LONG BEACH.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL OR E-MAIL US.
ALSO, LOOK FORWARD TO THE LAUNCH OF OUR 2001 SUMMER CLOTHING LINE, WHICHINCLUDES NEW SHIRTS, BATHING SUITS, TANK TOPS, HATS…AND MUCH MORE! YOU CANKEEP POSTED BY CHECKING THE WEBSITE. YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS “STAR” MODELINGTHE SINNER BATHING SUIT!
Sin Cycles
Sinner Clothing
www.sincycles.com
(562) 997-9119
A WISH GRANTED–Two men are driving through Saskatchewan when they getpulled over bya Mountie. The Mountie walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.The driver rolls down the window and “WHACK”, the Mountie smacks himin thehead with the stick.
The driver says, “What the hell was that for?”
The Mountie says, “You’re in Saskatchewan son. When wepull youover, youbetter have your license ready when we get to your car.”
The driver says, “I’m sorry, officer, I’m not from around here.” The Mountie runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He givesthe guyhis license back and walks around to the passenger side andtaps onthewindow.
The passenger rolls down the window and “WHACK”, theMountie smackshimwiththe nightstick too.
The passenger says, “What’d you dothat for?”
The Mount says, “Just making your wish come true.”
The passenger says, “Huh?”
The Mountie says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say, “I wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me.”
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Getting back from the frigid North, sometimes we wonder how people copewith such climate. Although the down time is great for building, fixingand tooling bikes, we can ride most of the year, same season, same weather.Indy was freezing, 10’s and 20’s even though the sun was out, and Monday wasa nice 50 degrees. Well good luck to those of you who have to sit and waitfor riding weather….poor souls… and here’s to what’s up.
Indy trade show 2001: PM, came out with a new 230 kit for 2000 and up Softails, includes,swingarm, struts, fender, wheel, pulley, hardware and all the spacersrequired, one of the best looking kits I have seen !
Ultra has a new Jackhammer, endorsed by HAMC, big red machine, cool redchopper, the familiar logo of Orange County is on the tank sides. Hope itsells as good as it looks.
There were a lot of choppers all over the show. Paul Yaffe was showing thenew Supertrapp pipes he designed, pretty cool. Jesse James washanging out, looking a bit thinner. The Baker “other side” tranny wasthere as well, Custom Chrome has a new bike in a box designed by Yaffe,kick ass black choppa. The grand daddy of the new chopper, Bourget’s, had acouple of his new Retro choppers, one painted as wood, which was aptly named,Got Wood?
Staz from Staz Motorcycles in Las Vegas was showing the first of a seriesof Staz bikes called Rude Americans, available in Softail, softail chopperand rigid. Also had the chance to meet Big Mike from BMC choppers, alsocoming out with a rigid chopper “Notorious 918,” a rigid 100 Rev Techengined chop, and a TC 88 rigid chop. Ness had another chop in his booth,as well as a thicker tubing frame, next to a Victory from outer space.
Indian was a no show, as was Confederate and Wild West. I hope it’snot a sign of problems.
Gossip was that the Cinci show was the place to be for Americanmotorcycles. Maybe next year Indy won’t be as popular. Cinci, Indy andDaytona, all separated by two weeks, would be impossible to attend.
Really sad to report that Dale Earnhart passed away at Daytona 500, thenews ran like gun powder at the show….Godspeed to number 03.
There were so many things at the show that it will take awhile to report, hangin there, will add other news next week.
Saludos……Jose Bikernet Caribbean
MMA MEMBERS–Doc and Waldo have put up information on the e-group concerning Dennis’s fatalaccident on Feb. 18. I have talked with Jeremy at the shop who istaking care of everything.Dennis was a good friend of ours and many others.
Info on the funeral will be posted and/or calls made by Jeremy. I just got done talking with him. Outlying areas, please pass the word around your area. A lot of people knewDennis.
–Priest
CALIFORNIA BEACH RIDE REPORT–Our phone lines are squirrly this morning and we are unable to retrievemessages from our voicemail. E-mail works or try my cell at (310) 251-5631if urgent. Sorry for the inconvenience.
HELEN WOLFE–Here’s a couple of pictures from 1995 that I like. The identities of the subjects are unknown to me. I didn’t know if I should scratch out the license plate or something on the trailer.
The burnout was by either an ET class bike or a Modified. I bet it was ET like Darin Maulden or Bill Wolf, but I’ll never know. Not often does a photo come out looking exactly like what I was looking at. Man it’s getting late. I’m starting to write like Yoda.
ROY HUTCHISON–A biker with heart was featured in the February issue of Reader’s Digest. He’s from Independence, Missouri and he and his wife adopted a small infant who was severely damaged at birth. Her name is Tiffany. It seems a mentally disabled teenager had given birth in a restroom stall at a hospital in Kansas City. The umbilical cord had been wrapped tightly around the newborn’s neck, shutting off oxygen, causing brain damage. The baby had cerebral palsy. She was almost totally blind and deaf. Moreover, she had curvature of the spine that in time would constrict her breathing and shorten her life. She would never talk or play. She would never graduate from high school, marry or have children. Still, Roy, at the age of 37, took her in and gave her the best he could for her short life. As Tiffany grew older, Roy took her everywhere he went. She enjoyed hanging out in the garage with him while he worked on his new bike. Tiffany lived way beyond what the doctors expected, but died at the young age of 15.
Tiffany’s impact on Roy’s riding partners was substantial, since Roy spent countless hours with Tiffany. After watching Roy and Tiffany together, Bill Young, a father of six, felt envy. “I’ve never loved my kids that way,” he confided. “I thought love came from buying what they needed.” Inspired by Roy, Bill cut his hours at the plant he worked at to spend more time with his kids.Our hats are off to you, Roy.
Continued on Page 3
February 22, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
It’s a different bit nowadays if you want to build a motorcycle you can be proud of and that will stand up to the guys on the street. You need specific talents. It needs to be a team effort. Other than a few very select builders, we all need to find people we can work with to reach the goal we’re after. It’s the same with this damn desk project. We’ve got shit spread everywhere.
The three key issues to building your bike are the performance package (engine rebuilding), fabrication and finish (chrome and paint). Not only will you need an engine builder, but you’ll need someone who understands what you want and is damn good at it. It’s not enough just to find a builder. What if you want a blower, and this guy has never attempted this installation. Fabrication is an art. Few are as good at it as Jesse James or Donnie Smith. Even Arlen Ness farms out much of his fabrication after he dreams it up. Then there’s paint and chrome. Chrome is reasonably basic, but make sure the place you go to has dealt with bike parts and they know what they’re doing. Also look at samples of their chrome. Chrome varies like crazy today. Finally, the finish. A paint job can make or break a bike. Find a guy who does it the way you like. Look at his portfolio and talk to shops that deal with him. No sense waiting six months for a paint job. We have a tech on painting from Al Martinez that will give you some notion of the immense work that goes into paint and what it will cost–check it out.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON NAMES JOHN HEVEYPRESIDENT AND COO OF BUELL MOTORCYCLE COMPANY– John A. Hevey, 43, has been namedpresident and chief operating officer for Buell Motorcycle Co.
Hevey, who joined Harley-Davidson in 1992, will assume the new position onMarch 1. He has served as vice president and general managerAsia/Pacific and Latin America for Harley-Davidson Motor Co. since 1998.
“John has a diverse business management background, and given hisaccomplishments in sales and marketing with the company, I believe hewill provide strong leadership for the continued growth of Buell motorcyclesales. The management team of John Hevey, as president and chief operatingofficer, and Erik Buell, as chairman and chief technical officer, will helptake Buell to a whole new level of achievement,” said JeffBleustein, chairman and chief executive officer of Harley-Davidson Inc.
Jerry G. Wilke, 49, has been named vice president and general managerAsia/Pacific and Latin America for Harley-Davidson Motor Co. Wilkepreviously served as president and chief operating officer of Buell.
A STREET WALKER WAS– visiting her doctor for a regular check-up.”Any specific problems you should tell me about?” the doctor asked.
“Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniestcut, it seems to bleed for hours,” she replied. “Do youthink I might be a hemophiliac?”
“Well,” the doctor answered, “hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it ismore often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to bea hemophiliac. Tell me, how much do you lose when you have yourperiod?” the doctor inquired.
After calculating for a moment, the hooker replied, “Oh, about $700 or $800 I guess!”
BANDIT’S CANTINA–Contrary to rumors spreading throughout the industry, Bandit’s Cantina is not a restaurant chain being built in several states by an Orange County culinary developer. The reports of ground breaking ceremonies in Los Angeles, Phoenix, Durango and Denver are premature.When asked to comment, the president of 5-Ball Inc., the company that owns Bikernet.com, said, “I’m innocent.”The first Bandit’s Cantina is due to open its doors by March 16.
2001 MOTORCYCLE DEALER EXPO NOTES–
A number of folks asked how Bikernet is doing. My response: It’s got the best content onWeb, 1,330,000 hits last month and climbing fast.
Made the limo ride to the airport with Woman Rider Editor Genevive Schmidt. Cool lady.
The Cobra display featured Denny Berg ‘Cobra’ project bike entry into H-D pipemarket. Drop-fucking-dead get outta’ town gorgeous interpretation of H-Dflattrack/board racer.
The Lakers were in the house for b-ball with the Pacers Sunday. Stayed inCanterbury. Those guys are big! Really!
Most liked Cincy show, more said leaving Indy for Cincy. (I don’t want togo back there.)
Show was bigger(!!) than last year, seemed quieter, but it takes a lot ofpeople to fill six football fields worth of displays.
PM’s wide tire conversion: curious about that offset and handling.
TP and Chopper Guys had Baker’s right side tranny in frame.
Titan there. Ditto Ultra. Hope these guys make it.
If Indian was there, didn’t see them.
New entrant: Mancini Motorcycle in CT with Softail & Dyna line of XL frames.Nice looking stuff.
Talked with Paul Dean on question of why not standards (like SEMA) forframe, wheel builders? Becoming topic of discussion amongst some industryjournalists.
Wanted to ride over (to DB) today to see board. Interstate 4 betweenTampa/Orlando closed due to smoke from 11,000 acre brush fire.
Mid-USA: “new” one-piece crank with plain bearing insert auto-type rodsproprietary engine. Crank/rods/pistons by intown guy Tom Falicon. Offset rods/pistons retain inline cylinders.
Kenny Francis (now MidWest) working on new big-incher.
Mailing you press kit for new bike entry. Water-jacketed, f.i., 102-bhp1500 cc v-twin from Oz Land. Swoopy looking, 500 lbs., very well thoughtout, marketing is perfect, exciting.
Talked to Kreem president Jim Pierce, nice guy, lives in Somis. Told himabout your Sturgis tank adventures.
New product: 88-B replica Softail frame from Wilwert’s H-D (www.wilwerts.com) inIowa seemed popular.
Blue Streak Electronics (Canadian) showed onboard diagnostic scanner forH-D, said to be coming out with comparable for aftermarket components.
–Agent Anonymous
HEY BANDIT–Tell yourfriends that I am not really that scary. I’m gonna attach a jpeg for you,to show them that the Dolls would love to give them a second chance…You know one thing that I am looking forward to? Meeting you in person.Thatwill be very cool.
Love,
GOTHGIRL
DDMC
Continued on Page 2
February 15, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
MIKE CUNNINGHAM– from Easyriders’ dealer development is nowin charge of Bikers Dream dealer development?
BILL GATES’ ADVICE TO STUDENTS– about 11 things you will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teaching has created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept sets them up for failure in the real world.
RULE 1: Life is not fair – get used to it.
RULE 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
RULE 3: You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice president with a carphone. Until you earn both.
RULE 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.
RULE 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping – theycalled it opportunity.
RULE 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
RULE 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaningyour clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your ownroom.
RULE 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failinggrades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get theright answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance toANYTHING in real life.
RULE 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
RULE 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actuallyhave to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
RULE 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
V-TWIN TAKES TWO BOOTHS FOR POWERSPORTS DEALER EXPO SHOW 2001– V-Twin Holdings Inc.(OTCBB:VTWN) today announced thecompany would attend and display two booths at the upcoming 33rd AnnualDealernews International Powersports Dealer Expo being held Feb. 17-19 in Indianapolis. One booth will feature V-Twin?snewest Web-based, wholesale procurement subsidiary, CycleClick.com. Thesecond booth will feature the Bikers Dream (www.bikers-dream.com) licensingdivision, another wholly owned subsidiary of V-Twin, which operates sixdealerships and licenses the name to 16 independent dealers in 14 states.
Roger Cheek, CEO of V-Twin Holdings stated, ?We are glad to be a part ofthismajor event and are pleased that we are able to launch CycleClick.com atthistime. It is our aim to sign new licensees for Bikers Dream and add to ourgrowing list of new dealers and manufacturers for CycleClick.com with theexposure we anticipate from the show. Our goal is to be known as aB2B, Web-based marketplace builder that integrates industry brick-and-mortarwith a powerful Web-based e-procurement system.?
For additional information, including a copy of the updated financials forV-Twin Holdings Inc., visit the company’s Web site: www.vtwin.net; or call CFSGat (800) 625-2236.
Hey Bandit: Further to my last comment about V-Twin, I was speaking with ananonymous inside source who told me that V-Twin overall is working reallyhard to make a great company and contribution to the motorcycle industry.
Although my professional experience with them had some really frustratingbumps, which the company has since smoothed, their goals seeminglyare in the right place and they want to do right by people and the business.
They are aggresively staffing up and organizing the company. It’s a longroad, though, and everybody deserves a chance to shine and make a place forthemselves in this world. The V-Twin, Bikers Dream and Cycle Click team want to service themarketplace, streamline and evolve their business, and establish greatbusiness and customer relationships. It’s an ambitious goal and a tougheconomical climate (though our industry isn’t really suffering).
Based upon Rich’s keen effort to mend the angst that was caused because Iwas not paid for months and felt like I got the runaround, I’ll saythat, as a leader at the helm of this motorcycle company….he wants to dowhat’s right and he’s alright with me. Rich…keep it real and ridetough. –Sasha
GENERATION GAP–Generation Gap An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue,yellow. The old man just stared at him.
The young man said “What’s the matter old fart, never done anything wildin your life?”
The old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my kid.”
THE OLD FART ASSOCIATION–This association was formed when every one started calling me and a few buds “OLD” FARTS, from the “OLD Core” humm. No colors, no meetings and no dues, just riding and beer drinkin!
Rules Requirements
1. seeing a brother, buy him a beer
2. allowing a nap after a 6-pack
3. no bitchen unless someone is there to hear you
4. tums/bengay are community property.
5. if a bud falls, check that he is breathing, then buy him a beer
6. asking a bud to hold your bike while you start it is ok!
1.GRAY HAIR !
2. own a bike or know someone who owns a bike
3.wish you were in bed and not drinking
4.rembember when scooters did not cost $20,000.
5 know who Marlon Brando is and what he rode in the movie
Membership is free, but ya gotta meet the requirementsGRAY HAIR, RIDE and DRINK BEER!
This is the addresshttp://home.earthlink.net/~tgoode/old-farts.html
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me abeer before it starts.” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minuteslater, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.” She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.” The wife is furious. She yells at him,
“Is that all you’re going to do tonight, you piece of shit? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fatfuckin’ slob, and furthermore …”
The man sighs and says, “Aww fuck. It’s started.”
THE LOS ANGELES CALENDAR MOTORCYCLE SHOW EXPANDS– to two days this year, July 21-22.The West Coast’s largest Streetbike Show, the White Brothers / Performance Machine / Hot Bike magazine -presented LA Calendar Motorcycle Show was a huge sellout success again last year at the new Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach. So for this year, producer Jim Gianatsis is expanding theshow to all the spectators and to give exhibitors more time to set up. Show times will run noon to 8 p.m. on Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday. For the same $15 admission price as last year, spectators will get a two-day show admission pass, admission to the Queen Mary and a fireworks display aboard the ship on Saturday night. Plus, our normal live musical entertainment, beautiful girls, the country’s best custom bike contest and so much more! I hope all the Bikernet readers will join us. Maybe we can talk Bandit into helping us with the judging of the custom bike contest.
Complete details are online athttp://www.FastDates.com
QUANTUM CYCLE REPORT– I have recently recieved my W-2 form from American Quantum Cycles and ithad numerous errors in it. I am not surprised. It has come to my attention that I am not the only one this has happenedto. I have contacted the court and requested that they have mine and any oneelse who has a problem with their W-2 statement corrected. I will also be going to the Internal Revenue Service to see what they say. I would like to suggest that you check your W-2 against your last pay checkreporting slip and make sure it is correct. If not, contact the court andthe IRS.
LAW ABIDING CITIZENS HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR–The same type of “biometric authentication” face scanning system inuse on the streets of London and Japan is now being used in the U.S.Everyone at the Super Bowl had their faces scanned without knowing it.Tampa, Fla., Jan. 29, 2001 -Graphco Technologies Inc. (G-TEC=99),aleading developer of technology and solutions for biometricauthentication,secure access and expert information-sharing systems, announced todaythatthey provided a surveillance and facial recognition system at theRaymond James Stadium in Tampa and at Ybor City, Florida. The system wasinplace from Jan. 21-28 to monitor potential criminalactivities during the sporting events and related activities at the twolocations.
“Not everyone comes to sporting events with good intentions,” says DavidWatkins, G-TEC’s managing director. “The multiple distractions at thenation’s premier athletic events provide criminals with opportunities toengage in a variety of illegal activities. G-TEC’s facial recognitionsystem provided the Raymond James Stadium with a superior surveillancesystem that not only captures images of individuals, but also comparestheirfacial features against a database of known felons.”
=46aceTrac=99 is a trademark of Graphco Technologies, Inc. FaceFINDER=99 is a trade mark of Viisage, Inc, http://www.viisage.com/january_29_2001.htm
THREE MEN WERE DRINKING– in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine, he said, “For Valentine’s Day,I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamondring.”
As the attorney was drinking his martini, he said, “For Valentine’s Day,I’m going to buy my wife a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn’t like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet.”
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey, he said, “For Valentine’s Day, I’m going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn’t like the T-shirt, she can go fuck herself!”
LET’S RIDE—THE TRAIN–for those in the Pacific Northwest or who don’t have lots of time, theAmtrak rail ride to Milwaukee for the 100th anniversary would be a goodway to get you and your bike there and back. Two days over, a week there,and two days back, or something like that.
Call Russ or Barb Martz
(253) 848-5130 weekdays
(360) 289-9744 weekends
LEAVE IT TO A FRENCHMAN– to send me this….from Fennec of the Celtic Brotherhood MC…
“The following is a short and rather amusing true story as seen recently by millions of viewers on a Spanish TV channel.The parents of a teenage girl decided to put their daughter’s name forward for a popular surprise game show. She idolized teeny-bopper pop star Ricky Martin, and it was arranged for TV cameras to be placed discreetly throughout the house. The house was then left empty with Ricky Martin hidden in the wardrobe in the girl’s bedroom– all set to give the daughter a wonderful surprise when she returned home from school. Meanwhile, the parents were in the show’s studio, in front of a live studio audience.
Upon returning from school, the daughter didn’t go straight to her room as expected; Instead she began to investigate the house, calling out the names of her family to see if anyone was at home. Having established that she was on her own, the daughter made her way down to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and removed a large tin of pate. At this stage, the live TV audience is wondering what the hell is going on. She then went back upstairs to her bedroom where she proceeded to quickly remove all her clothes and spread pate all over her naughty bits.
Remember at this stage, that Ricky Martin is still hidden in the wardrobe, and half of Spain is seeing a nubile young girl stark naked on the bed with pate all over her crotch.As if the parents were not shocked enough by this, the daughter then calls the family dog, who obediently trots up the stairs to settle down to his favorite meal.
The broadcast is abruptly cut. A set of acutely embarrassed parents are left in front of a deadly quiet studio audience, while a few million Spaniards sit in front of their TVs pissing themselves with laughter. Consequently, sales of tinned pate have skyrocketed.”
–Deasal
MOTORCYCLE DEMOLITION DERBY AND THRILL SHOW– On March 9, the Motorcycle Demolition Derby and Thrill Show will return to New Smyrna Speedway for the twelfth time. The popular motorcycle thrill show annually entertains overflow crowds of fans from all over the country during Bike Week. This year is no exception as the speedway staff has brought back the most-asked-for events and added some new ones.
The main draw is, of course, the Motorcycle Demolition Derby. The event is open to anyone who wishes to ride in it. The bikers are encouraged to enter their own motorcycles. Since very few riders choose to do this, the speedway provides a large amount of running bikes to pick from. The action is fast and furious with a no-holds-barred set of rules. The winner is determined by the last rider standing or running, as the case may be. There are preliminary events and a monster feature event open to all the riders that survived the preliminaries.
For added entertainment, the three-hour show will include several professional stuntmen doing what comes naturally. World famous stuntman “Death Wish” Dan Elders will attempt to jump a motorcycle over a running helicopter.
Stuntman J. J. Steel will lay down a motorcycle at 70 mph and slide it through a curtain of fire.
Fred Sibley will burn a pile of motorcycles and cars into a molten heap with his jet powered truck.
Jesse the human bomb will blow himself off a bar stool using sticks of dynamite.
Other stunts planned for the event will include the trailer trash stunt, which is described by the speedway event department as crashing a car through a 70-foot mobile home end to end, rollerblading over a fire at 50 mph, an auto T-bone crash, an automobile demolition derby, the exciting rollover contest and, back by popular demand, the wall of steel.
Along with the planned stunts, the fans will be invited to come out of the grandstands and join the fracas with a wheelie contest and the world’s largest beer chug contest.
The Motorcycle Demolition Derby and Thrill Show is sponsored in part by Gilly’s Pub 44, Skips Shoes and Boots and Harley-Davidson.
New Smyrna Speedway is located at the intersection of State Route 44 and Tomoka Farms Road (Route 415), 10 miles south of Daytona Beach. The gates open at 6 p.m.; the show starts at 8 p.m. For further information, call New Smyrna Speedway at (904) 427-4129. Be there, be there, be there!
A YOUNG JEWISH KID– excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love andis going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bringover three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees andthe next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits themdown on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Ma.Guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The redhead in the middle.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
“I don’t like her.”–from the Original 5-Ball
STATE MOTTOS–
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really are One of the 50 States
Ohio: We Wish We Were In Michigan
Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl… It’s What’s For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We’re Not Really An Island
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn’t Surrender!
THAT’S IT FOR METhis morning started slow with three aspirin and a bowl of cereal. The sun was glistening off the harbor and I needed to ride. I also needed to congratulate Jason Douglass, Mike Osborn and Jon Towle, who are now partners in this madness we call the Bikernet Empire. Now they owe me big time. I tried to launch into the news, but Valentine’s night haunted me. On my list was picking up trophies, which are adorned with billiard 5-balls that just rolled in from a billiard supply company in New York. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to find 5-balls. I’m putting the finishing touches on a chapter for my next as-yet nameless book, but it contains the HORSE Vince and Chance series. My brain cells finally cooperated enough to let me write an editorial on some of my past shenanigans, also for HORSE.
If Lee Clemens will talk to me, I’ll interview him next week for Hot Rod Bikes. The oldest living H-D mechanic, Earl Kellerman, turned us down for an interview. He works at Bartels’ and I was told he was a crotchety old fart, but good people if you can corner him in a good mood. We’re about to launch Bandit’s Cantina, with games, Fast Date Girls from Jim and all my books in an e-book format for less than the cost of one beer a month. Watch for it. Alright, so I was scrambling around here this morning like a wheel losing its spokes when there was a gentle tap on the door. Sin was headed for school, but had a while to play. Suddenly my day was in focus, my life fulfilled and the dream of riding a Big Dog motorcycle to Daytona a near-reality. Life is good on the coast once more. Let’s ride–Bandit.
February 15, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
Check out the Samson Exhaust story we have posted on the site. With painter Phil’s assistance, we picked the colors for the 1928 Shovelhead that’s being built at the Dallas Easyriders store. Our billboard was slapped up on Speedway Boulevard today to the glee of thousands of Speed Week visitors. Tomorrow, the Big Black Buell goes under the knife at the Harley-Davidson Fleet Center, where we’ll exchange cams, modify the carb and replace the exhaust with Screamin’ Eagle Performance headers. In addition, we’ve been experimenting with the ignition on the ’48 Panhead and returned to a manual advance distributor for a cleaner spark and a more consistent idle. In talking with Mr. Giggie from Compufire, he began to work on a single fire manual advance electronic distributor. Then the pre-Valentine’s Day storm hit with typhoon-like fury. The girls ran off and Valentine’s Day plans went to hell in a handbasket. Just when I thought I would be sipping Jack at Harold’s place by myself, a redhead strolled in to the headquarters and before I knew it, we were scratchin’ and clawing.
We best hit the news:
BUELL REPORT–Something that a lot of customers have been inquiring about is info on the new Buell shift linkage for 2001.The new shifter kit is cleaner looking and has a better feel when shifting. You don’t get all that rattling noise and sloppy feeling with the new linkage. In my opinion, the old linkage looked like an afterthought and the new stuff looks like it’s supposed to — trick, clean and functional.
There are two kits available now on an upgrade for the new shift linkage for X1s, M2 and S3/T Buells. MSRP is $99.95. 97-00 S3T Buells require a left fairing lower change also. P/N: M1000.MA MSRP $242.
P/N: 49092-01Y for X1 kit
P/N: 49074-01Y for M2 and S3/T kits
On to another subject here, and that is the membership in Buell BRAG, short for Buell Riders Adventure Group.This is automatically issued to a purchaser of a new, unregistered Buell.You can also join BRAG but you must own a Buell. There is an associate membership available for a passenger or family member of a full member.
Full memberships are good for one year and there are also two- and three-year renewals available.The BRAG deal is like H-D’s HOG membership in that it has just about all the same benefits, the Fly and Ride program, insurance, roadsideassistance, etc.You can contact BRAG at (888) 432-BRAG or go to the Buell Web site at Buell.com and click on the BRAG Web page for information on upcoming nationalevents such as Daytona Bike Week.
In the past at the national events there are usually lots of people from Buell to answer questions. It’s a good place to get information onrecalls that you might need done, if any.Places like Road America in Wisconsin in June are also a good place to see the latest “hot rod” Buells from riders all over the country.There is usually something going on at Hal’s H-D. Buell usually has a open house and big barbecue at the factory and offers rides to the race track, etc.
So to be totally in the loop, a Buell rider really needs to be a BRAG member. Check it out. It’s a good thing.
–Paul
THE RIGHT APPROACH–Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do.?Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”
His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, ‘You as horny as I am?’ . . . and, she always acts like she’s sound asleep!”
EPA CLARIFIES PUBLIC COMMENT PERIODRIDERS GET MORE TIME TO FILE COMMENTS–Washington, D.C. The intense response from the motorcycling communitygenerated in large measure by the Motorcycle Riders Foundation prompted theEnvironmental Protection Agency to clarify itsschedule for proposed rulemaking on new emissions standards for streetmotorcycles.
The practical upshot? Motorcycle riders now have more time to file publiccomments and more time to inform other riders — especially the smallbusinesscommunity — and get them involved.
Among the points of clarification made by the EPA:
1. The deadline for the proposed rule is Sept. 14, and the EPA willconsider comments and data [the agency receives] throughout [its]development ofthe proposed rule.
2. Under the consent decree, which impacts off-road, not street,motorcycles, the final rule would follow a year later, with at least onepublic hearing and additional opportunities for public comment after thepublication of the proposed rule and before development of the finalrule. The EPAanticipates working with stakeholders throughout the rule developmentprocess,and anyone can join the debate at any time in the coming months.
3. The EPA also told MRF that any action they take regarding highway motorcycles isnottied to the consent decree timeline, adding that the agency would considerputting street bikes on a schedule separate from that for off-road bikes.The call to action is clear — motorcyclists nationwide should take fulladvantage of this new opportunity.
1. If you haven’t submitted your publiccomments, do so:a. BY MAIL. Send paper copies of written comments (in duplicate, if possible)to: Margaret Borushko, U.S. EPA National Vehicle and Fuels EmissionLaboratory, 2000Traverwood, Ann Arbor, Mich. 48105b. VIA E-MAIL. Send e-mail comments to: nranprm@epa.gov.
2. If you haven’t written to your congressman and U.S. senators, do so.Simplyprovide them a copy of your public comment.
3. Provide this alert toriders,dealers and custom shops in your area. Don’t forget sport-bike riders, theyhave as much to lose as cruiser riders. Review with them all MRF materialsonthe issue, and urge that they get involved by providing their comments tothe EPAand to their congressman and U.S. senators.
4. In all correspondence, refer to Docket A-2000-01, the “Control ofEmissionsFrom Non-road Large Spark Ignition Engines, Recreational Engines (MarineandLand-Based), and Highway Motorcycles.”
See our legislative page for MRF comments on the proposed legislation.
EXCELSIOR-HENDERSON’S FUTURE LOOKS DIM– Apparently this will be the final shake-out year for new motorcycle manufacturers that can’t make it over the hump. We want to say up front that we respect the dreams, the efforts and the ultimate challenge to build a new motorcycle, so it is with a great degree of remorse that we report on failing bike companies.
Florida-based E.H. Partners, the owner of The Excelsior-Henderson Motorcycle Manufacturing Co., has given no indication that it will resume motorcycle production. It continues to lay off employees and requires cash only for motorcycle parts. And dealers are reportedly not receiving reimbursement for warranty work.
ULTRA MOTORCYCLE COMPANY CHANGES TICKER SYMBOL–according to reports on the street and in the press, Ultra is making headway in the market. Recently they announced that UMC has changed its ticker symbol from “BIKR” to “UMCC.” The change was prompted by the company’s formal name change to Ultra Motorcycle Co.
WILL TITAN SURVIVE?–Titan announced the court approval for new debtor in possession financing of $250,000, which should become available within the week. The company also expects to secure a second $250,000, and to secure a larger, longer-term loan shortly thereafter to carry the company through its reorganization anticipated for later this year.
JOHN SIEBENTHALER, THE MASTERMIND behind the new Daytona Bikernet billboard, is also responsible for the new twist gear advertising campaign. A biker and a giant in design and creativity, John has worked within the industry for growing companies such as TP Engineering and several years ago for Easyriders.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON INC. DECLARES DIVIDEND–Harley-Davidson Inc. (NYSE:HDI) announced that on Feb. 8 its Board of Directors approved aquarterly cash dividend of 2.5 cents per share, payable March 23 toshareholders of record as of March 12. The company currently hasapproximately 302.4 million shares of common stock outstanding.
Harley-Davidson Inc. is the parent company for the group of companies doingbusiness as Harley-Davidson Motor Co., Buell Motorcycle Co. andHarley-Davidson Financial Services Inc. Harley-Davidson Motor Co., theonly major U.S.-based motorcycle manufacturer, produces heavyweightmotorcycles and offers a complete line of motorcycle parts, accessories,apparel and general merchandise. Buell Motorcycle Co. produces sportand sport-touring motorcycles. Harley-Davidson Financial Services Inc.provides selected financial services to Harley-Davidson dealers andcustomers.
SAVE AN ARTIST, BUY A CLOCK–C.J. the mad engraver once led his club of six into a bar packed with 75 of the nastiest, red freak riders on the coast. It was a trap, but they walked out alive. Throughout his career, he worked with the very best, from Von Dutch to Paul Jefferies. He has just launched a series of 10 polished rotor clocks for the true biker artist. Each one will be engraved and they roll out the door for just over a C-note. For more information, drop an e-mail to Bandit@bikernet.com.
CYLINDERS AND RODS–I have a set of Harley-Davidson Evo cylinders that I just took off one of myengines. They are stock bore, black wrinkle painted with polished fins. They shouldbe honed to .010 oversize for best results. I’m asking $200 for the set.
Also, I have a set of S&S connecting rods for $100 andJims billet aluminum lifter blocks with a set of big axle lifters for$200.
MAN MARRIES TV–An Australian man has, according to a British Web site called Megastar,married his television. The twice-divorced, 42-year-old man says,
”MyTV gives me countless hours of pleasure without fussing, fighting orbackchat. So I feel I’m better off marrying it rather than anotherdamn woman. One day it just came to me in a thunderbolt — mytelly’s the best companion I’ve ever had. This is one wife who won’tnag me.”
BEVERLY HILLS BIKE SHOW–This year, Craig Germeroth is in charge of a charity bike show on March 18at the Beverly Hills Mercedes dealership. So far we have about 20 HamsterBikes coming, including Arlen’s newest bikes. There will be tons of press and lots of high-dollar spectators.Otis Chandler is bringing bikes and cars.
This is the 7th year of the show.If it goes well, it will be by invitation only within two years. Many of thecars are worth over $1 million.
We alsowill need some judges. Booths are only $500. Bike entries are $30. Craig’s cell phone number is (818) 399-4242, if you have any questions, or you can e-mail him at lahamster@aol.com.
Continued on Page 2
February 8, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 2
BIKERNET BIG APPLE BABE REPORT–Biker Chic makes the fashion headlines! The February issue of Elle Magazinefeatured an eight page spread of motorcycle inspired fashion. Biker chic isagain in the spotlight. Top designers are in their freedom creative statemarrying the idea of open road with glamour amore motorcycle styles. Therunways are expected to be littered with two-wheel freedom seeker designs.Hurry up and take advantage of the leather sales at your local dealer beforethe fashion brigade drives up the prices of riding gear!
Why are the fashion honchos turning to bikers? Well, being a biker andwearing leather is a sexy strong statement that says: I am in control and Iam free. And, yes, leather protects us against the nasty spills–andperhaps that represents a metaphor in life. Leather, hardcore, screw you,it’s my life–and if life cracks ya in the jaw and ya fall, well, hellsbells, you got on your leathers.
Lots of the magazines, TV ads and the like are featuring bikers because thatvery statement stirs the core desire in everyone’s soul: I’m free, I amFREE. It’s my life and I’ll do what I want. So, be your crazy, sexy coolbiker grunge self and someone just might feature you on TV or in afashionable spread. Now, excuse me while I put on my designer helmet andstraddle my designer ride. — Sasha, Godiva Biker of NYC.
TENTH ANNIVERSARY BEACH RIDE 2001 TO ROAR AGAIN ON SUNDAY, JULY 15– The Tenth Anniversary of Beach Ride, the biggest annual summer bike ride on this side of the Rockies, will roar again on Sunday, July 15, 2001 at San Buenaventura State Beach and Park in Ventura. Gates open at 10:00 a.m. and admission is $30.00.
Headlining this year, back by popular demand, The World Classic Rockers featuring original and former members of Eagles, The Moody Blues, Toto, Wings, Steppenwolf, Foreigner and Spencer Davis. Enjoy the Ms. and Mr. Beach Ride Contest, over 200 vendors, tattoo contest, bike show, food and lots of fun.
Various starting points throughout Southern and Central California.
Information can be obtained by calling the Beach Ride Hotline at (800) 696-3727, or by visiting the Beach Ride website at “http://www.beachride.com”or the ECF website at www.ecf-la.org.
THE THREE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THE USA– Bush, Dick and Colon.Makes you think, doesn’t it?
JOB OFFER–I am desperately looking for a rep in California. If you know anyindependent reps that would be interested in a full line of ATV and snowmachine accessories and novelty helmets, bike locks and goggles AND a sweetnewly designed travel bag for motorcycles designed by ME, please let me know.
–Kyle…Krkucin@aol.com
COAST TO COAST IN AUSTRALIA–4,300kmPerth to Sydney (29 Nov – 14 Dec 2000)Have you ever seen a travelling international motorcycle museum ?The Coast to Coast Rally for classic, vintage and veteran bikes was a bitlike that. It gathered unusual historic machines including solos, scootersand even a sidecar. Most of them arrived in Australia from Europe and morespecifically from France, Italy, Switzerland and Holland. The contingentfrom the Southern Hemisphere, although less numerous, featured the oldestbikes of the rally and also some very unusual models of classicHarley-Davidson machines.
The idea to organise such an event originated in November 1999 when in agroup of four we were riding scooters across the Australian Nullarbor. InBalladonia, the pictures of the 1926 Harley-Davidson Crossing (Perth-Sydney)gave us the idea to follow their path on historic bikes. Subsequently, for afew months three of us (Tino Sacchi, Jean-Claude Mazzella Di Bosco and I)were looking in Europe, New Zealand, the USA and in Australia for riders whowould like to join such an event.
DAYTONA POLICE REPORT ON BIKE WEEK–Cops gear up to take on bikers.Police are starting the new year with a conference designed to prepare themfor their war on outlaw motorcycle clubs. The International Association ofUndercover Officers are holding a five day training program entitledUndercover Biker’s Conference to be held in Orlando, Florida during DaytonaBike Week. The 32 hours seminar is to address the problems and pitfalls ofundercover investigations involving outlaw motorcycle clubs. Speakersinclude officers directly involved in supervision or participated ininfiltration of a motorcycle club.
The rhetoric and propaganda has already started as organizers are keepingthe location of the event secret due to alleged security reasons, statingthat some of the speakers are under threat of physical harm. Only thoseregistered will be told of the location and only certified law enforcementofficers will be allowed to enter. Speakers will include BATF agents, policeinvestigators, detectives and Forensic experts with over 65 years ofexperience with motorcycle groups. There are also speakers whose identitiesare being kept secret for security reasons.
Topics will include:Initial Contact Lack of Cover Becoming a Probate Special Concerns of theUndercover Officer
Hang Around Status Public Perception Supervisory Concerns of Investigations
Motorcycle Identification – Is it Stolen?Undercover Approaches Electronic Surveillance Techniques Violence within the
Target Group Money Laundering and Outlaw Motorcycle Organizations
Undercover Identification Mud Checks Old Ladies and Sexual Compromise Bikersand Methamphetamines
Firearms and Explosives The Concept of Family and Brotherhood
Risks vs.Results Psychological Support Before, During and After the Assignment
A Case Study of an Undercover Agent Who Could Not Reemerge Successfully
Personality Dynamics of Agents and OutlawsAt a similar meeting two years ago topics included Interviews vs.Interrogating, Electronic Surveillance, Vehicle Theft Fraud Schemes, GaugingPhysiological Responses and Deceptive Behavior.
TOP TEN POSSIBLE TITLES FOR MONICA LEWINSKI’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY–
10. I Suck At My Job
9. How I Blew It In Washington
8. Going Back for Gore
7. Secret Services to the President
6. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
5. Deep Inside The Oval Office
4. How to Beat Off the Government
3. Going Down and Moving Up
2. Me and My Big Mouth
And the No. 1 Possible Title for Lewinski’s Autobiography…
1. What Really Goes Down In The White Househttp://www.bikernet.com/cybercycles/Uploaded/PhotoID161-1.jpg
VANCOUVER HOG CHAPTER MEETINGS WILL BE HELD IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH,SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER,NOVEMBER, & DECEMBER– THE MEETING WILL BE ON THE FIRST TUESDAY EVENING AT7PM UNLESS IT FALLS ON ALONG WEEKEND. THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXT TUESDAY EVENING THAT ISNOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THEMONTHS OF APRIL, MAY, JUNE, & JULY THE MEETING WILL BE HELD ON THE FIRSTSATURDAY OF THE MONTH WITHA MYSTERY RIDE AFTER THE MEETING. UNLESS IT FALLS ON A LONG WEEKEND.THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXTSATURDAY THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THERE WILL NOT BE A VANCOUVERCHAPTER BUSINESS MEETING INAUGUST OF THIS YEAR.
Individual Events:February 10th 3rd Annual Sweetheart Dinner Party at the Rockin HorseLounge in Maple RidgeBring a non perishable food item for the Soup Kitchen Call Dan (604)984-7831
February 18th Wacky Bowling Nite with the Honda Group Call (604)434-1502
February 24th LOH hosts a Guys ?n Gals Billiards Night… Bring a nonperishable food item for the Soup Kitchen Call (604) 434-1502
DARWIN AWARD– Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark To their frustration, none of the lights worked (you can see what’s coming, can’t you?). Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object, that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ‘bright’ by his peers..
STATE MOTTOS FOR 2001–
Nevada: Working Ladies and Poker
New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: Ya Wanna ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney…
BLONDS FOREVER, FOREVER BLOND– A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied,” There certainly is!” (are you ready?) … this is a beauty…. My stupid computer keeps saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”
BACK AT THE INFIRMARY–We wanted put vapor rub on his chest but he insisted we use this oily stuffand rub a little lower. I don’t know how much that’s gonna help his coldbut it sure put a smile on his face. Then I squirted some on Sin and we started wrestlin’ on the bed. There was oil and clothes all over the room. We were getting slippery and hot, knocking over Bandit’s warm glass of Jack Daniels.
He better get well soon. I’ve got to go back to work. Sin is missing classes and I’m beginning to think he faking it. No truly sick man has that much energy. Ah, but tomorrow it Friday, and the party begins. Where’s that oil Sin?–Coral
February 8, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
AND NOW WE TAKE YOU LIVE TO A SPEECH BY REV. JESSE JACKSON–Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to thepopulation for my act of copulation.
I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexualgratification, that I could not obtain through masturbation, whichresulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation, and providedher with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication, andliberation.
She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I wore condomsto avoid contamination. She cried for duplication but I insistedupon termination, in spite of her fascination with variation.
This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation andprovocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation,denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration,which would require my hospitalization.
Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification andrehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimatevocation will not result in revocation and termination. I hope thisproclamation has provided illumination and verification and willprohibit further provocation–Thank you.
WHITE BROTHERS AND HOT BIKE PRESENT– the expanded 2-dayThe Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show, July 21st and 22ndThe West Coast’s largest Streetbike Show, our own LA Calendar MotorcycleShow was a huge sellout success again this past year at the new Queen MaryEvent Park location in Long Beach. So for 2001 we will be expanding theShow to both days of our normal 3rd July weekend date to accommodate allour fans. Complete details are on-line athttp://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm
LESS THAN VALUABLE INFORMATION– American car horns beep in the tone of F. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older. 11. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
BIG DOG HIRES A NEW GUY–Big Dog is proud to announce that John Newland has joined Big Dog as director of the newly created Customer Service Department. Mr. Newland’s poiition was designed to strengthen the customer service function and enhance dealer relationships, besides he needed a job.
In this change, Mr. Newland will assume responsibility for warranty administration, warranty reporting, supplier warranty and supplier warranty recovery. He also will administer the Big Dog Service Center and authorization of field service centers. In other words, if it’s broken Newland is the man. Fortunately Big Dog has an excellent reputation for reliability, or it might be a helluva stressful job.
DRAMA IN THE DESERT–SAE/SWE is pleased to announce an exciting, special evening ofrecord-breaking, real life stories and award-winning photographyfeaturing Ms. Louise Ann “LandSpeed” Noeth. Louise is a renownedfreelance photojournalist and historian specializing on the many landspeed record attempts at Bonneville and Black Rock Desert.
Her presentation includes more than 90 full-color slide photos plusan exclusive video of the recent world record breaking attempt whileon assignment for Sports Illustrated. Louise is a dynamic speakerwith inside information on many of the race teams, including CraigBreedlove’s Spirit of America and Richard Noble’s ThrustSSC.
Meet Louise and join your peers for a great evening. Make your RSVPtoday!
MARCH MEETING NOTICE
Tuesday, March 20, 2001
Torrance Women’s Club
For more information on attending, contact:www.sae-socal.orgorshelia.flynn@HSC.com
BIKERNET RIDING TIPS–
Counter Steering: If you push the left bar, the bike goes left. If you push the right bar, the bike goes right. That is, unless you keep pushing the right bar all the way, then you will probably go left while the bike swaps ends.
Crashing: Remember riding isn’t inherently dangerous… crashing is.
The Sidelines: It’s always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.
Fuel: The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
The Rear Wheel: The rear wheel is just a big fan used to keep the rider cool and his butt relaxed. If in doubt… watch. When it locks up or slides out you can actually see the rider start sweating and pucker marks are left on the seat.
Too Slow: No one has ever hit something too slow.
Rides: A ‘good’ ride is one you can walk away from. A ‘great’ ride is one you can walk away from and use the bike again.
Getting Hit: They can’t hit you if you’re not there.
Mistakes: Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Center Stands: You know you’ve left the center stand down when you’re in top gear at 4000 rpm going nowhere.
Traction: When traction is sparse, the probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of lean. Large angle of lean, small probability of survival and vice versa.
Fog: Stay out of fog. The single red taillight you think is another rider ahead that you can catch, might be the red starboard light of a docked boat.
Parking: Always try to keep the number of times you park the bike equal to the number of times you’ve ridden it.
Luck & Experience: You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Laws: Remember, gravity and centrifugal force are not just good ideas. They’re laws not subject to repeal.
–Modest MikeStreetware:
REMEMBER VALENTINES DAY, GODDAMNIT–
My Sweet Love
My sweet love that holds me close
Jealous of others staring at your body
When I touch my hands upon you
Passion rages through me
As I ease my body down onto you
Blood flows through my veins like rivers smashing intothe seas
I realize that no other will ever touch me again
Consumed by the hunger I feel within
Sweet love of mine
You take me where no other has dared
My every being is released to explore
As my thighs tightens with your touch
Feeling your power beneath me
Power which only you possess
Sexual desires dominate my thoughts
I tighten my body down for the ride
Longing for the juices to flow
Sweet love of mine
My Harley, my Love, my Ride, my Pride.
–Sparks
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticedthe man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately movedto another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the manburst out laughing, She complained to the driver and he hadthe man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied,”Well your Honor, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice hercondition. She sat under a sign that said, “The Double MintTwins are coming” and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Slogan’sLiniment will reduce the swelling” and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a sign that said, “William’sBig Stick Did the Trick” and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and satunder a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could haveprevented this Accident…I just lost it.”
“CASE DISMISSED”
BIKERNET GOES TO DAYTONA BEACH–We’re proud to have a billboard on Speedway Blvd, but now we’ll also be featured on 21 Demolition Derby billboards throughout the area. But there’s a catch. We sents our babe sticker art to Joetta at the billboard company and she called me yelling that the girl was topless and completely unacceptable on Billboards. We humbly replaced the art with something more sedate, but snuck in our devilish babe in another way. Watch for her all over Daytona, and don’t miss the Demolition Derby.
Once again Kevin Ruic, the founder of the Demolition Derby, was named the host on the Official Bike Week video produced by Big Sky Video. Big fucking deal, still no money just world wide fame and free pussy. Too bad I’m too old to enjoy it. The first thirty seconds is great and it’s all down hill from there.
The BBC is coming to Daytona and plans on doing a one hour special on the derby. They’ll be filming us all week getting ready for the show and then the show itself.
–The World Famous Kevin J. Ruic
Ruic & Associates
Motorsports Consultants
20450 Bunker Hill Drive
Fairview Park, Ohio 44126
Phone: 440-895-1120 Fax: 440-895-0937
INDIAN RUMORED IN TROUBLE–Recently Indian laid off 200 employees. Although Ray Sotelo one of the company’s founders said recently, “reports of our demise are not just premature, but downright inaccurate.” The company set an initial production target for the past year of 6,000 bikes, but only produced 5,000– the identical production run of the first Excelsior-Henderson year. Recently another rumor surfaced that they are looking unsuccessfully for major loans. More recently, it was reported that Ray is no longer at the helm of the company.
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