LOOKING FOR BUCK KNIFE–I am interested in a Buck 192MS knife. I found one on the Bikernet page.

–Dondonstickel@hotmail.com

HERE ARE THE FACTS– Citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; “7” was selectedbecause the original containers were 7 ounces. “UP” indicated thedirection of the bubbles.

Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocksthe mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.

Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feetaway from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute forblood plasma.

–KR

BANDIT’S CANTINA COMING–You’ve heard of Stephen King, you’ve heard of Disneyland, you’ve taken magic mushrooms. Now comes Bandit’s Cantina, a rough ride into a slippery, devilish, action- packed area of Bikernet — for those who haven’t had enough. In just a month you’ll be able to read e-books, gaze at some of the hottest babes in biking, play games, get sexual advice, find a biker-friendly bar in your neighborhood and much, much more. Watch for it. Coming to computers near you.

Here are two pics of the same guy using up a lot of tire on his Buell at Sturgis, Aug. 2000–Helen Wolfe

Sonny Barger Report–Sonny will be in Boston this weekend, Feb. 3-4, atthe New England Motorcycle Spectacular. Come meethim and get your copy of Hell’s Angel signed by thelegend himself. Click here for a map and directions:http://sonnybarger.com/nav_tour.html

Already a best seller in the U.S. and U.K., the Germantranslation of Hell’s Angel goes on sale today byEuropa Verlag.Other editions are coming in Italy, Turkey, Estonia,Sweden, Denmark, Norway, and Japan.http://sonnybarger.com/nav_book.html

New on the Web site:Streaming audio, over an hour in all, of four classicradio interviews, including “Radio Chick” on WNEW.Classic! (scroll to bottom of the page)http://sonnybarger.com/nav_press.html

A new photo gallery shows Sonny with fans and friendson the Book Tour 2000.http://sonnybarger.com/nav_photo.html

MAW IS OUTSIDE– hangin up the laundry, when she hearsPaw in the kitchen. Mawwalks in and says, “Paw, get out there and fix thatthere outhouse.”

Paw says, “All right, Maw.” Paw walks out to theouthouse, looks at it,and says, “Maw, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with thishere outhouse!”

Maw says, “Yes, there is. Put your head down in thehole.”

Paw says “I ain’t puttin my head in that there hole!”

Maw says, “Well you’re gonna have to if’n you’re gonnafix the problem!”

Paw puts his head down in the hole (just a little bitmindya) and he hollers, “Maw, there ain’t nothin’ wrongwith this hereouthouse!”

Maw hollers, “Now pull your head out of the hole.”

Pawgoes to lift up hishead and he says, “Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard’sstuck in the cracks in theseat!”

Maw says, “Aggravatin’, ain’t it?”

–Glen R.

H-D DEDICATES 2001 RACE SEASON TO REBUILDING VR 1000 SUPERBIKE PROGRAM–Company to Increase Resources, Restructure Development and Organization ofRace Team

Focused on strengthening its VR 1000Superbike racing program, Harley-Davidson will devote 2001 to a rebuildingeffort, the company has announced. Among several initiatives,Harley-Davidson will restructure and expand the development program of theVR 1000.”We’ve begun an aggressive effort we believe is necessary to move theprogram forward,” said John Baker, director of racing. “The 2001 racingseason will be a rebuilding year. But this change is necessary to get uswhere we expect to be in the future.”Increased funding will drive the development program and provide greaterresources in both manpower and hardware.

Organizationally, the new development effort will be focused internally. Asa result, engineers from Harley-Davidson Research and Development will workin close concert with partners at Buell, and will begin work immediately torealize the performance potential of the VR 1000.”By tapping our vast internal engineering capabilities, we’re confident wecan improve,” said Baker. “Our racers, Pascal Picotte and Mike Smith, areexcited about the new direction of development and the rewards it will bringthe program in the future.”Harley-Davidson will increase its involvement with Cosworth Racing and FordRacing and continue its long association with Gemini Racing Technologies,which will maintain some development duties and provide all race teamoperation functions.

“We expect our partnerships with Cosworth Racing, Ford Racing and GeminiRacing will yield results, and we’re pleased to continue our relationshipwith them,” said Baker.Harley-Davidson’s VR 1000 Superbike team will open the AMA season March 7-11at the Daytona 200 in Daytona Beach, Fla.

A SALOON LEGEND IS GONE– I don’t know if anybody has sent you anything about the servicesfor Don Himes so I thought I would. There were about 200 people at thefuneral; it was standing-room only in the chapel. There weren’t nearly asmany clubs represented as you’d have expected considering that they wereall welcome at La Vida and a lot of them frequented the place. Someof the clubs that had members there were the Viet Nam Vets, RighteousOnes, Mongols, Loners and a couple others.

During the service there was anopportunity to stand and speak and a lot of people did. They all said thesame thing; Don was one of the last good guys, treated everyone the same(no politics), and that he and La Vida were going to be greatly missed. Iknow that I used to love getting there early Sunday, just after openingand have breakfast with the place almost to myself except for a couple ofthe canyon locals and of course Gypsy. The ride through the canyon’s earlymorning mist, the fire in the fireplace when you got there and the quietof the canyon; I’m sure going to miss that place. To quote FreddieMercury, “Another one bites the dust.” It’s a goddamn shame!

–Steve

COMPUTER VIRUS WARNINGS– Computer VirusTHE CLINTON Virus….(Gives you a 7-Inch hard drive with NO memory.)

THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus…(Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.)

THE LEWINSKY virus…(Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about whatit did.)

THE RONALD REAGAN virus….(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.)

THE MIKE TYSON virus….(Quits after two bytes.)

THE OPRAH WINFREY virus….(Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands torestabilizearound 200mb.)

My friends, I give you THE DUMBEST GUY ON EARTH!

This picture is real – not doctored in anyway – and was taken last week by atransportation supervisor for a company that delivers building materialsfor 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he wentand bought a camera to take pictures.

The car is still running, as can be witnessed by the exhaust. A woman iseither asleep or otherwise out in the front seat passenger side. The guydriving it was jogging up and down on Route 925 (in the background).

Witnesses said their physical state was OTHER than normal. The driverfinally came back after the police were called and was found crouchedbehind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around theload! Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed.

The materials were loaded at Home Depot. Their store manager said theyhad the customer sign a waiver. While the plywood and 2-by-4s are fairly obvious,what you can’t see is the back seat, which contains — are you ready for this? –10 bags of concrete at 80 pounds each. They estimated the load weight at 3,000 pounds.

Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent and the back shocks were driven throughthe floorboard. The car, with Florida plates (naturally), was headed for Annapolis, wherethe couple presumably planned to build a new house in which to smoke their crack.

TEMPTATION ISLAND TEMPTRESS IS FASTDATES.COM IRON AND LACE CALENDAR GIRL–

“How cheesy!” exclaimed Mary as she watched Perfect 10 magazine covergirl and 2002 FastDates.com calendar model Vanessa Norris planting kisses on Mary’s boyfriend Billy in a video replay of Billy and Vanessa’s date together. It all unfolded on the new FOX hit TV show Temptation Island were four pairs of long-term couples are placed on a romantic tropical beach resort, separated from their soulmates, and sent out on daylong dates with a bevy of sexy single seduction artists. The most seductive female of which has to be our very own sexy Vanessa, who we recently photographed for the upcoming FastDates.com 2002 Mikuni Iron & Lace Calendar with a hot custom from premier bike builder Mike Berg.

C.J.’S ENGRAVING CLASSICS–We’re about to launch a serious article about a lost art–metal engraving–and one of the last, if not the only, motorcycle engraver left on the planet. His story is as terrifying as the art he produces. If you want something purely unique, truly custom, then this is the way to go. Here are some examples of his art. The mag lights are available on his Web site. Just click and go. Next week we’ll be premiering a billet wheel pulley clock made by C.J. He’s only making 10 of them.

THUNDER OVER DIXIE NEWS– How many times can you go to Daytona Beach, Myrtle Beach or Sturgisbefore you decide that your Harley doesn’t ride on rails leading to the sameold places with the same old T-shirt vendors? Remember how you used to telleveryone the reason you rode Harleys was for the freedom? Well, it’s time toset yourself free.

How about some adventure? As promised, after the runaway success of ThunderOver Dixie, we’re planning more Thunder events for 2001. The next is south ofthe border into Old Mexico for Thunder Over Mazatlan and it’s going to beawesome.

We’re roaring off on a 10-day fiesta to Mazatlan where we’ll bea big part of their Cinco de Mayo celebrations. Fiestas and parades every dayon the route, all in our honor. We’ll handle border details the night beforethe border crossing, and we’ll supply luggage vans, translators and security.

Security? Absolutely. Probably won’t need it, but we’ve got it. You canrelax knowing that when out of sight, your motorcycle will be secure. To ensure this is the best ride ever, Thunder has joinedforces with Pancho Villa Moto Tours, the most experienced American motorcycletouring company conducting tours into Mexico. With 20 years of experienceleading riders through Latin America, Pancho Villa Motor Tours’ owner SkipMascorro and his staff are thoroughly familiar with riding inMexico.

Thunder Over Mazatlan starts April 30 at the Rio Rico resort, which isjust a few miles south of Tucson, Ariz.

INCLUSIONS:
Eight nights accommodations, best available
Seven breakfasts, six evening meals
T-shirt and cap
Support vehicle and riding bilingual staff
Maps and tour information kit
Select tolls (conditions apply)
DOES NOT INCLUDE: Medical or motorcycle insurance, fuels, any tolls otherthan those authorized, alcoholic beverages, tipping for individual servicesor individual luggage handling
TOUR PRICE: $1,769 per rider; $1,595 per passengerAnyone in a single occupancy room, additional $420.

1928 SHOVELHEAD COMING ALONG–In this shot you can see the rear fender initial fitment by Jim from Easyriders of Dallas, and the master eyeing the seat placement. More to come shortly.

WHATTA BREAK–The sun is shining and the air is warm and fresh. I can see the blue Pacific lapping at the breakwater. Most of the party-goers are out of jail and roaming the streets once again. Nuutboy and I visited Kenny Samson and collected enough scraps of exhaust pipes to build John Buttera’s pipes for his Evo desk project. During a discussion with Tom Rodan of Sierra Madre Motorcycles, restoration experts, Tom pointed out that my difficulty with the ’48 Panhead idling could be that the engine won’t let the ignition retard all the way so the idle is erratic. Joe Minton had the same theory but thought it might be the automatic advance. This afternoon I will drop a manual advance distributor back into place and time it for another test ride.

I realize that the world is becoming a hectic place to live in. But if you have a second, stop what you’re doing and think back to the time before telephones, when the only communication was by mail or when someone stopped by. Now we have mail, visitors, FedEx, UPS, fax, e-mail, phones, pagers, television, radio, and the list goes on. However, we still only have two arms and two legs and 24 hours in a day to deal with all this shit. Just remember what truly makes you happy. For me, it’s writing, the touch of a woman and bikes. Make time to do what you love.

–Let’s ride, Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–VIOLENCE ROCKS SUPERBOWL PARTYWhat can I say? The police are still investigating complaints of nudity, grand larceny (someone stole a pool table) and a stabbing. It was one helluva party. I’m innocent.

The Digital Gangster ran up to me at midnight and screamed something about being two hours late for his flight back to Washington and being in mortal fear for his life. I could sympathize with him, knives had been drawn on two occasions but I couldn’t leave until I had hit on every woman in the joint. The Gangster yanked on my arm, spilled my Jack Daniels and was delivered to the airport in a box. A full report on the Bikernet 2nd annual Super Bowl party is forthcoming after the attorneys and Nuutboy get through editing it. Let’s get to the news:

CHICAGO JOE ROCKS LAS VEGAS–Here are some of my pictures of Chicago Joe from Las Vegas 2000 and Woodburn ’99.

DEAR JOHNNY CARSON–I’ll try to attach a piece I did for a show here…it’s a long story butyou’ll get the idea if you concentrate very hard! (Did I just say hard?!)OK, nevermind…gotta get my mind back on track. This painting is not forpublic consumption but the one I’m doing will be.I’m off to Phoenix this morning on a last minute mission.

Crazed weirdo fucked up woman artist in Northern Arizona looking for love inall the right places!Soon to be sated…

–Rosemary

H-D OF CHARLOTTE CUSTOM PERFORMANCE BUELL–This is a customer’s Buell X-1 Millennium. This is Chip’s “Go Fasta” bike. His other bike is a new Dresser for touring. The Buell is for pure fun.

He added the new shift linkage for 2001. A race kit has been installed, pipe, muffler, air cleaner and ignition module. The pipe has been Jet-Hot coated. He also elected to put on a steering dampner. Chip then installed a few of the Buell accessories now available.The biggest addition to this Buell is the top-end upgrade Chip did. Hedecided to go with the Millennium Tech. aluminum cylinders. These are made without a steel liner like a H-D cylinder and are plated with the nickle-silicon-carbide process. These cylinders are race-proven by Don Tilley. These are the cylinders to use for the next level of performance for the “killer” Buell engine.

In additon, the heads were ported and flowed by Nallin using his pistondesign. The cylinders provide for better ring seal, they distort less. There’s more efficient heat transfer and less friction because of the plating. The plating surface is very hard and lasts a long time.This is a very cool X-1 and runs very strong.

–Paul

IT’S GOOD TO BE A MAN

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
Same work … more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on Dec. 24, in 45 minutes

–KR

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE ANNOUNCES THE RELEASE OF THE LONG- AWAITED STROKER KIT FOR TWIN CAMS–Available by March 1, in limited supplies, will be a 4 3/8 Stroke flywheel assembly for 99-later Twin Cam 88 carbureted models (except Softail models). This kit requires the use of Screamin Eagle 3 7/8 bore Stroker pistons.

The flywheel kit with the Stroker Big Bore pistons will yield an engine size of 103 C.I. or a (03 if you will) Twin Cam. Compression ratio with these pistons is 10:1.P/N and additional info can be had at your local H-D dealer. Supply will be limited at first.

One thing I wanted to also mention was that Zippers was selling a Big Bore cylinder for the Twin Cam engine, sized at 4 1/8 bore. Using these with the new Stroker kit would give you an engine size of 117 C.I. The cases need to be bored for these cylinders and they would retain the H-D factory piston cooling jets.When you split the cases for the installation of the Stroker flywheel kit, this would be the time to have Zippers do the cases. Also at the same time have the heads sent out to be reworked.Zippers could probably set you up with Stroker pistons.

Also, T-Man Performance and Trock Cycle are other options for Big Bore Stroker pistons.I would recommend sending the heads to BC Gerolamy or T-Man Performance.TR at T-man has found out after checking the cams for the Twin Cam engine that there is a slight timing problem. He has come up with a cam fix to straighten it out and get correct cam timing.

— Paul

T-Man Performance
205 Pitts St.
Kernersville, N.C. 27284
1-336-993-7068
Tmanperformance.com

Trock Cycle Specialties
13N417 French Rd.
Hampshire, Ill. 60140
1-847-683-4010

DAYTONA BILLBOARD RELEASED– This is it folks. We’ll be on International Speedway from the middle of February to the middle of March, between Ridgewood and Nova Boulevard.

THE ITALIAN SAYS–“When I’ve a finisheda makina da love with my girlfriend,I go down and gently tickel the back of her knees, she floats a 6 inchesabovea da bed, in ecstasy.”

The Frenchman replies, “Zat is nothing, when Ah’ve finished making ze lovewith ze girlfriend, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen ah lick zasoles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed, inpure ecstasy.”

The redneck says, “That’s nothing buddy. When I’ve finished doin’ it to myole lady, I git out of bed, walks over to the winder, and wipes my peckeron the curtains, she hits the freakin roof!!!

–Ray Russell

CCI REPORT–Had a busy weekend, which ended Sunday with the CCI product review in Charlotte. Went to the Easyriders show the night before. The turn-out to me seemed a little low compared to previous years. There were a few nice bikes. I got some pictures but haven’t downloaded yet (see coverage on Bikernet).

I wanted to send some ink on my take from the CCI deal while it’s still fresh in the old brain. First, this was a really well put together conference. They provided a great lunch and first-class meeting facility. It had dealers from all over the Southeast in attendance. It was first-rate all the way.

Our Southeast CCI reps., Norm and Mike, did an outstanding job of showing the latest stuff coming out from CCI. Rick Doss, the “Southern Gentleman,”was also there explaining some things coming out around September at the big CCI show in California.One of the big highlights was a new financing program from Horizon 2000. This will allow a customer to finance a build- your-own bike kit from CCI with no money down! This will offer the aftermarket shops a cool way of helping the customer put together a custom bike package and have the option to finance it like a new bike. Really cool concept.

Another topic mentioned was that if CCI doesn’t have the exact frame you want in its catalog, that you can make up a custom frame order(stretch/rake, etc.) from CCI with approximately 30 day lead time.

Also sometime around September, CCI will be offering the new signature bike kits. These will be limited-edition custom bike kits, low in prodution numbers, designed by some of the top bike builders in the industry.

CCI showed off the new Regency front fork, which is a 58 mm upside style fork. From what I saw, it was made really well and the chrome was high quality. The pricing was very affordable.

Let’s see what else, oh yeah, CCI picked the entire line from Jaybrake.Some cool slip on mufflers for the 2000 H-D model exhaust systems. Alsothere was something about a right sided drive train. This would assist in helping to get rid of all that offset you have to do on a bike when trying build it with the larger (230/250) tires you are now seeing. That’s all from Charlotte.

— Paul

TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO’S HAD ENOUGH–Learn to work the toilet lid. If it’s up put it down. I’ve seen far more women unable to put the lid down than men who can’t put the seat down.
If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we’re never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, really.You have enough clothes.You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor, or vote to have prostitution legalized again.
Check your oil.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We’re going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
And what the hell is a doily?

QUANTUM UPDATE–On Jan. 22, I went to a hearing for American Quantum Cycles inOrlando, Fla.I asked the judge if anyone was working on getting W-2 forms to employees. Hetold the attorney representing Quantum to find out and inform me.On Jan. 26, the attorney called me and said it was being handled andthat it should be done in the next 10 days. If, for some reason, this does nothappen, I am to get back to him.

–ROGUE

CARIBBEAN REPORT– A good friend brought us four crates full of old Easyriders, Outlaw Biker,Hot Bike, etc. Wow! A few years change everything. In one of themags, Sonny Barger is just opening his shop in Oakland and HA iscelebrating its 39th birthday. Anyway, looking at all those now-old-school choppers gave us the bug. After a few phone calls, we found twoSportster choppers in pretty rough condition but the price was right. A ’71and ’72, Springer front ends, with all the trick stuff of the ’70’s. Weordered two Santee rigid frames from Chrome Specialties. Got a Jammer rigid for one of the Sportsters and went to work. We are still looking for engine-tranny combosfor the other bikes, like a 1974 Shovel. Will keep youposted on the progress. Anyway, most of the parts we are using are from thegreat sponsors in Bikernet, so there might be a connection here.

And now to the whazz up in the Caribbean:Hard Rock and Jack Daniels celebrated Jack’s birthday (you missed itBandit).About 100 bikes showed up to help get rid of all that whiskey, lots ofpassers-by (mostly tourists from the cruise ships) spent hours talking tothe bikers and checking out the bike scene in San Juan. We showed up in fullforce with around a dozen choppers rattling the cobblestone streets of oldSan Juan.

News of the Titan-ic Chapter 11 has reached our shores. A few weeks agothere were up to seven bikes for sale in the paper. Sudden trade-ins showed atthe shop, there’s hope to salvage the company and maybe a lesson learned.

Coamo, one of our big yearly rides, is coming up this Sunday.It’s a pretty cool run amid the mountains of the central mountain range,thousands of all brands of motorcycles show up, being this is the biggestmotorcycle concentration in the Caribbean.

The new clothing line Chopper Freak is already out. It’s designed and madein Puerto Rico by chopper riders. T-shirts, beanies, caps and trinkets.Maybe some time soon we will have some samples at Bikernet. We shipworldwide.

The wide tire fever is hitting the Harley owners here. Stock bikes with200, 230 and 250 are getting very popular. It’s great to see “factory”riders getting interested in something a bit more….wide?

Oh well…..the Mahi Mahi are biting, surf is huge and the shop isdraining any spare time I might have. Daytona and Indy are on the way, myPan chopper is waiting silently and there are not enough hours in the dayto do it all. Shit, ride while you can. At least we don’t get any snow……

–Saludos…….Jose

DUE TO THE HIGH– number of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, the city of Melbourne, Australia, opened the world’s first all- female parking lot. In a further effort to create a comfortable and safe atmosphere, even the attendants and security staff working the lot are all female.

IDIOTS ON PARADE–This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact thetelephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8 a.m.and 7 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller timewindow, the pleasant gentleman asked, “Would you like us to call youbefore we come?” I replied that I didn’t see how he would be able todo that, since our phones weren’t working. He also requested that wereport future outages by e-mail. (Does YOUR e-mail work without atelephone line?).

–IDIOTS AT WORK–I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerknoticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unlessthe card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it wasnecessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt.So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully comparedthe signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luckwould have it, they matched.

–Dani

AHDRA AND HARLEY-DAVIDSON ANNOUNCE NEW RELATIONSHIP–Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts Sponsors New All Harley Drag Racing Points Series

The Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts division of Harley-Davidson and the All Harley Drag Racing Association (AHDRA) recently announced the 2001 AHDRA presented by Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts series, a new drag racing points series designed to build excitement and increase the competition in 14 AHDRA quarter-mile classes.

The 2001 AHDRA presented by Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts series will pay cash to the top ten plateholders in 14 specified classes, ranging from Top Fuel nitro-burning Harley racers to stock Sportster XL and Buell motorcycle racers.

“This is a dream come true for AHDRA,” says Marty Tharpe, owner of AHDRA. “Our ticket gate sales continue to grow at a rapid pace, which tells us we are delivering the type of excitement Harley-Davidson enthusiasts are looking for. These events are of great value to Harley-Davidson enthusiasts and racing fans, as well as Harley-Davidson dealers around the country. We’ve been raising the bar in appearance and professionalism through growth and the caliber of competition of our events.”

AHDRA Motorcycle Drag Racing Series 2001 Schedule
March 6-7 Biltho, Fla.
March 31 – April 1 Phoenix, Ariz.
April 21 – 22 Reynolds, Ga.
June 9 – 10 Norwalk, Ohio
June 16 – 17 Denver, Colo.
June 30 – July 1 Seattle, Wash.
July 7 – 8 Budds Creek, Md.
Aug. 11 – 12 Bristol, Tenn.
Aug. 19 Englishtown, N.J.
Sept. 8 – 9 Woodburn, Ore.
Sept. 29-30 Maple Grove, Penn.
Oct. 6 – 7 Rockingham, N.C.
Oct. 20 – 21 Las Vegas, Nev.>>

Continued on Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SUPER BOWL PARTY JUST AROUND CORNER–BANDIT HAS GONE TO SEA TO HOLD WEATHER FRONT OFF COAST (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 2

V-TWIN HOLDINGS, INC., RETAINS CONSULTING FOR STRATEGIC GROWTH, LTD., AS ITSPUBLIC RELATIONS/CORPORATE DEVELOPMENT CONSULTANTS– In a joint announcement, V-TwinHoldings, Inc., (OTCBB: VTWN) and Consulting For Strategic Growth, Ltd.,(CFSG) announced that CFSG would be engaged to create more shareholderawareness and to increase V-Twin’s exposure amongst investment bankers,analysts and institutional investors.

In commenting about this new relationship, Stanley Wunderlich, Chairman andCEO of CFSG stated, “During the year 2000, we watched V-Twin put together thebuilding blocks, including infrastructure, senior management and a soundbusiness plan. We are pleased that we will be working closely withmanagement as they move toward their goal of becoming a leading web-basedmarketplace for the motorcycle and power sports. Its recent announcement toalign activities with Purchase Pro (NASDAQ:PPRO) is a major step to leverageboth companies’ activities.

About V-Twin Holdings, Inc. V-Twin Holdings, Inc., headquartered inWashington, D.C., is integrating bricks and clicks in the $35 Billionmotorcycle and power sports industry. V-Twin’s retail division owns sixmotorcycle and powersports stores in Virginia, Texas and California. Theylicense their “Bikers Dream” brand name to over a dozen stores in 14states. V-Twin is building CycleClick.com, a web-based electronic marketplacefor retailers and manufacturers that want to increase their purchasing power,sales and productivity.

They’re on the move for sure. Suits suits and more suits. In no way do these cats behave camaraderie like. All the big guns are suits with no moto experience except for one, so far, who used to race motocross. But, they’re Wall St. movers and shakers that’s for sure. Did ya check out www.cycleclick.com? They’re keen on revolutionizing the industry. Okay. As long as they don’t squash folks.

I called up the prez, Rich Paone, after not being paid for over two months for a copywriting assignment that I did for Bikers Dream. I called repeatedly and asked nicely and was told, “oh, it’s in the mail,” “just approved the invoice,” “check just got signed,” ETC! I finally called up and said, “Look, I’m tired of the tales, buddy, I want my money by tomorrow morning…” He said, “don’t yell at me Sasha!” I said, “I’ve asked nicely, I’ve reasoned with you, I’ve tried in all ways possible to get my payment to me in a cordial civilized manner. I’ve sent you two sets of invoices and now you’re asking for a third! I want my money, this is totally uncool and not fair, man! You know what it’s like to make ends meet in this town. I was there for you, now gimme my money!”

I got the check the next morning. He grumbled and groaned. Meanwhile, they had used all my copy for their brochures, etc., which was what I was hired to do with the promise that I’d be paid fast. Too bad that they don’t play well.–Sasha

I JUST FINISHED READING ORWELL– It didn’t end the way I had hoped, but it was definitely excellent reading. People need to look around at some of the things that are happening and become more involved in whatever rights organizations are available to them. Honda is testing air bags, H-D talking about already having a water-cooled version. Clinton just signed away 90% of Utah to make it Federal Park land. Damn if that don’t sound familiar.

Tonight we had the pre-Legislative Day meeting to discuss tomorrow’s events. Sputnik gave out plaques to the original Charter members who have been with the TMRA 2 since it’s inception in 1992. Tomorrow members from the TMRA 2 will be concentrating on several Senate & House Bills some we are hoping to win & some we would like to help defeat.

H. B. 259 the “Equal Access” which bans being discriminated against because of colors or wearing of clothing that displays the name of any organization or association.

S. B. 242 deals with Pretext Searches or Seizures to make it so officers have to have a Damn good reason to even pull you over. Other then the fact you are a biker,

H. B. 89 the “Open Container” which says that if you were to have an opened bottle on your bike in the saddlebags or in your tour pack. Even though you had not been drinking you would be arrested for DWI.

S. B. 59 is being proposed to drop the legal limit for BAC from 0.08 to 0.06 if you have a child 16 or under in your vehicle.These are a few of the items on the agenda for tomorrow.

I’m sorry to say this was the first time I have been at Legislative Day at the start but it was a very impressive experience. While for the most part you usually meet with an assistant everyone in the offices I visited were very friendly. Yet I have friends that I cannot get to understand that even if all they do as a first step is join and give there membership dues. That is better then doing nothing at all. At least that way they could stay informed of the things that are going on around them through the newsletter. And in time maybe they would become more involved. I know I am starting too. While I do not believe that things will become as bad in our lifetimes as in your book. I believe it does not hurt to starting becoming involved now!

–Rigid Frame Richard

VICTORY NOMINATED BY EASYRIDERS–Victory was nominated for several Easyriders V-Twin Excellence Awards. There’s scheduled to be a banquet in Cincy at the dealer show for the awards.

Helen Wolfe on the cliff above the campgrounds at Fossil, Oregon,May 1996. ABATE of Oregon’s Spring Opener. Helen has become a regular photographic contributor to Bikernet. Check the Buell Report and Freedom Film for some of her images.Photo by Mailman ? 1996

CHOKE-HOLD ON ALL MOTORCYCLES–In November 2000, the Environmental Protection Agency signaled its intentionto adopt California’s emissions standards — the strictest in the country –and apply them nationwide to all motorcycles — street and off-road. Amongthe new controls on the drawing board: ways to stop motorcyclists fromcustomizing the look, sound and performance of their machines.

Combating new, questionable emission controls on street bikes may emerge asthe leading federal issue to be tackled in Washington by the MotorcycleRiders Foundation and its co-partners, State Motorcyclists’ RightsOrganizations (SMROs) nationwide.

“Given that California has recently put in place technologically challengingstandards for [large displacement street] motorcycles in a time frame thatwe would likely consider for a possible federal program, we are likely tolook very closely at the pros and cons of harmonizing the federal programand whether the California standards are appropriate for a nationwidefederal program,” the agency wrote in its November Advance Notice ofProposed Rulemaking (ANPR) which appeared again in the Federal RegisterDecember 7th.

The first step to new, tougher emission standards, EPA’s ANPR reads like aregulator’s wish list: catalytic converters, new controls on the smallest ofmotorcycle makers and ways to prevent or prohibit motorcyclists fromcustomizing their rides.

Meanwhile, the European Union has pressed for a two-tier reduction inmotorcycle emissions in 2002 and 2006. Citing new developments in injectiontechnology, MRF’s European ally, the Federation of European MotorcycleAssociations (FEMA), reports that many of the motorcycles sold in Europe maymeet the new requirements without a closed-loop catalytic converter (or”cat”).

RUSTY’S REPORT FROM INSIDE–I want to thank everybody for the support during my sentencing. I was impressed. I read the guest book comments, and all the support before and after, and I want you to know that I appreciate it a lot. Now that my sentencing is behind me, it’s time to get busy trying to curb the “onslaught” of legislation to come. Maybe at some point even reverse the tide in this political storm that is eroding the civil rights of everyone of us daily.

As much as we all hate politics, it’s time to wake up and let our voices be heard in opposition to further encroachments on our freedoms. We’re in this mess because of voter apathy. It pisses me off when I hear someone complaining about “this law or that law” and complaining about our politicians; but when I ask “Did you vote against this guy?” the answer usually is “Hell no, I don’t waste my time voting, my vote doesn’t count anyway.”

People need to realize that they aren’t selling out to the system by voting. Right now 25 percent of our population votes. Another 50 percent of our population is eligible to vote, but doesn’t.(The middle of the road citizen) If those people can get behind a single independent political party and vote in 2004, 2008 and 2012 we have a chance at getting real people, not corporate owned politicians in Government. I have a person in mind, that could be supported by the silent majority of non-voters, and could possibly be the catalyst that would bring them out to register and vote. His name is Jesse Ventura, governor of Minnesota. If you agree with me, e-mail him, show support for a 2004 campaign. Read his books. He knows what he’s talking about. He would represent ‘us’, not corporate America. That’s all I have to say for this post. The ball is in your court. And Thanks again for all the support here at the website. RUSTY B.H.C. (posted by K.O. for Rusty)

TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS:Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kidsalready,three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, andshe hadsyphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of thisone.Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and your votecounts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults withastrologists. He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes anddrinks 8to10 martinis a day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon,usedopium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’tsmoke,drinks an occasional beer and hasn’t had any extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for theanswer.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

And by the way: Answer to the abortion question-if you said yes,youjust killed Beethoven.

I don’t get in front of the camera too often, but here’s one Iactually like from Sturgis 8-96. This guy sold another statue ofhis to Nicholas Cage.

1928 SHOVELHEAD PROJECT–This lithe little unit is finally flying together at ER of Dallas. Two techs are currently posted on the site and more are coming shortly. Dallas Easyriders, the Strokes Cafe and lovely Lena, my sixth wife to be, are right there if you’re in the neighborhood.

CHROME SPECIALTIES PROJECT BIKE DISPLAY CALENDAR–All three bikes are now featured here on Bikernet, but you can see them in person and talk to the people who distribute the parts to build them at the following events.

March 2-11 at Daytona Bike Week in Daytona Beach, Fla.

April 25-29 at The Laughlin River Run in Laughlin, Nev.

May 14-20 at Broadway at the Beach in Myrtle Beach, S.C.

June 1-3 at The Republic of Texas Biker Rally in Austin, Texas

June 29-July 1 at The Rocky Mtn. Motorcycle in Rally Pueblo, Colo.

Aug. 6-12 at The Sturgis Rally & Races in Sturgis, S.D.

Aug. 30-Sept. 2 at The Four Corners Ironhorse Rally in Ignacio, Colo.

Sept. 20-23 at Street Vibrations in Reno, Nev.

Oct. 18-21 at Biketoberfest in Daytona Beach, Fla.

Nov. 11 at The Love Ride in Glendale, Calif.

STEED BRAND AWARDED PATENT— Alternative American musclebikemanufacturer, Surgical-Steeds Classic American Motorcycles Inc., was awardedPatent No. 2,367,533 from the United States Patent and Trademark office thispast July. The Steed “Brand” logo is used to identify official proprietaryproducts offered by Surgical-Steeds. The registered trademark is used todistinguish each custom Steed Brand Motorcycle. The identifiable silhouetteof the Steed Brand logo is emblazoned in their revolutionary Monoglidechassis, logo wheels, parts, accessories and Apparel, which can be purchasedon-line at surgicalsteeds.com orat independent Steed Dealers.

To celebrate the newly awarded patent, Surgical-Steeds prominentlyoutfitted a 2001 Steed Pegasus touring-cruiser Motorcycle with the SteedBrand Theme. The “Brand” bike will be on display at dealer appearances,shows and events through 2001 to promote awareness of Steed branded productsand accessories.And for the Tattoo….

BIKER BABE FROM BIG APPLE COME IN PLEASE– Indeedy, I’m most happy on a motorcycle.Here’s my rockin’ tune about it that I recently wrote and recorded:

Gotta Roarrrrrrrr! (copyright ’01 Road Diva Tunes ASCAP/Paul Logus SongsBMI)

Seems like a dream ridin’ wild ‘n free
an empowered diva, a highway queen
steel horse under my reign
road is long and there ain’t no end

I’m in control a wild cowgirl on her own
Watch out for my curves ahead
they told me “no” so I stole the asphalt
come on, catch me if you can

CHORUS:
I’m woman
gotta roarrr
my motorcycle
hot, yeah, I want more

a woman
gotta roarrr
my motorcycle
hard, yeah, to the core

Seduced by the wind,
it’s a beautiful scene
prowling highways on my freedom machine
road is winding though I am strong
straddled on my steed is where I belong

I’m in control a wild cowgirl on her own
Watch out for my curves ahead
they told me “no” so I stole the asphalt
come on, baby, catch me if you can

CHORUS
BRIDGE:
Loud pipes,
smooth clutch
i hope this isn’t what the bible calls lust. . .
i’ve got a hundred twenty inches
racin’ hot my inner thighs
ooooo babe, i like this better, i insist

CHROUS
i’m woman….gotta roarrrrrrrr

(Bandit: the above mentioned “inches” remind me of the Hellcat I rode)

MO’ STATE MOTTOS–
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10 Trillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and Right-Wing Crazies
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

TIRED OF BEING CALLED A TRAILER QUEEN–TAKE THE TRAIN–Some items not in the flyer, due to Amtrak not having firm prices this farin advance, are:Round trip coach for bike and rider will be approximately $500. Amtrak covers damages, if there is a problem, with a $500 deductible. You can buy a wavier now for $25. It might be as high as$35 by ride time.Depending on the number of riders, Amtrak might furnish snacks andbeverages.Sleepers will be available for $200 – $350 plus the cost of coach.–Rosalie and Dan McNeil

TOURING CHOPPER FOR SALE–Well, maybe not. Who knows. Hell, sometimes I want to keep them all. I thought I’d post the shot ’cause the Digital Gangster, our Webmaster supreme, the man who has helped more than anyone to build the site to the level it is today, is flying in from Washington to ride to the Super Bowl party and he’ll be aboard the Touring Chopper for the run. He’s due a hearty congratulations, he’s now a partner in Bikernet.

Digital and His Partner in Crime

I’M OUTTA HERE–, but I need to finish about the other night. I called an Internet provider that specializes in chat rooms and hooked her up with the spare computer in the dungeon. I had food delivered and bought her some candles to undress by, then the final call was made. After dinner and a couple of drinks I let her saunter into the back and play on the computer.

I lit candles, and I could tell by the glazed look in her eyes that she was warming to the girls in the chat room. Then there was a light tap on the front door and I opened it to Layla’s final birthday surprise. And so the evening began. I’m not sure when it ended, but it’s one birthday she will never forget. If only I could muster the excuse for a birthday celebration nightly. See ya Sunday, rain or shine. Let’s ride–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SUPER BOWL PARTY JUST AROUND CORNER–BANDIT HAS GONE TO SEA TO HOLD WEATHER FRONT OFF COAST (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 1

NOTORIOUS SOCAL BIKER HANGOUT LOSES OWNER– Don Himes passed away from naturalcauses in his sleep Sat. nite, Jan. 20 2001. He diedas he lived, peacefully. He was the liquor licenseholder and use permit holder for the last 15 years ofLavida. For all the things, that a lot of us criticizedhim for, he kept it open for 15 years. How manybar/restaurant/clubs can say the same. Very few. Hehad his own way to do things and kept the place open.The place catered to the “Biker” crowd, way before theHarley thing came into vogue.

–Gypsy

LITTLE JOHNNY, THE SMART ASS– A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10 year old Little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, Little boy, is your mother home?

Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, What the hell do you think?

–This is Stan Sheppard of South San Francisco – one heck of a nice guy. He runs two classes – ET and PG. Won the ET class at Las Vegas 2000.–Helen Wolfe

BUELL REPORT–Our salesman just gave me the new “Fuell” magazine. This was formerlythe BRAG news letter called “The Road Ahead”.It has some really good articles. One is on Erik Buell and his earlyracing and goes over the birth of his early RW750 and the RR1000. How hegot started with it all. Lot’s of great pictures here.

There is a cool section, “Buell Racing”. This kinda highlights all Buell racing. This issue covered records set at Bonneville. Also some ink on the “Buell Lightning Series Championship”. Had also the race schedules for the AMA Superbike/Pro Thunder Series and Pace Schedule for 2001.

Another great story was on a 8000 mile cross country road trip taken on a ’95 S2 Thunderbolt. Kevin Smith’s “My Longest Ride” tells how he starts from Calif. rides to the “Brag Homecoming” in Wisconsin, rides to North Carolina and back to Calif. Great story and some really cool pictures.

One thing that any Buell rider should take note of is the “Deals Gap National BRAG Adventure. This will be September 21-23 2001. I have riddenthe “Dragon” on my S2 and it’s a experience all Buell riders need to do.300 curves in 11 miles!!! The North Carolina scenery is truly a rush.Following Deal’s Gap on the 28th of September in Danville, Virginia is the AMA Superbike Race at Virginia International Raceway. There will be the Superbike race and Pro Thunder race. Also Brag will have an exclusiveriding school for the Buell “Knee-Draggers”.

The “Fuell” magazine can be picked up at your local Harley Davidson/Buell dealer.That’s it for now. Hope the M2 is coming along. Worked on my forks on myS2 today so I got something done on my day off finally!!

–Later, Paul

Attached find a couple Buell shots taken with my son’s Xmas camera:

1.) My 2000 M2 with the earlier 1997 tailsection and slim seat. Note the Ventura luggage rack, quality piece.

2.) My son and I doubling up, my 6 year old daughter handled photography duties.

3.) Posing in front of the Buell factory in East Troy, WI. It was Sunday and the kids and I were passing through town on our way to the grandparents. —Agent M2

SUPERBOWL STATS–What’s more important to men, the BALTIMORE RAVENS or a date with CINDYCRAWFORD? E-Bay polled online surfers asking them to choose which they’d rather doand guess what, 72% chose the Super Bowl.

Editor’s note: Well, at least at a Super Bowl there’s a chance for ascore.

E-Bay also asked what would make them miss the Super Bowl if they had to:
–Birth of a first-born child: 44%
–Would have to be in a coma or on their deathbed: 14%
–Nothing in my life would make me miss the Super Bowl: 10%

PANHEAD DESK UNDERWAY–Remember the Panhead desk we built for my office at Easyriders? I built another one for Dan Stern at Custom Chrome now the owner of Hollister Harley-Davidson, and another one for Jim at Jim’s Machine. Now we’re building a new an improved Evolution Desk for the talented machining genius of John Buttera of Lil’ John’s Customs. If we can squeeze the digital camera away from Layla who is taking shots of Sin for the Ultimate Tech, we’ll post one for you to see.

JAY LENO JOINS BIKERNET STAFF AS CONTRIBUTOR–Seems Jesse Jackson had an extra marital affair with a staff member and fathered a child that is now 20 months old. The below are Jay Leno Jokes in his Jan 8th monologue.

“Jesse Jackson Counciled President Clinton concerning his affair with Monica Lewinsky, Turns out it was Clinton who was counciling Jesse Jackson. This week, Jesse Jackson is spending some time alone with his spiritual advisor….Frank Gifford.”

“The child is now 20 months old and Jesse Jackson paid the child’s mother $40.000.00 to move to L.A. California, Bought her a $380.000.00 house and is paying her $10.000.00 per month…Seems as if SOMEONE found a POT OF GOLD at the end of the RAINBOW COALITION!”

INTERNET HEADQUARTERS TRIVIA–This is a early Digital Camera, very early!! One of my prized dustcollectors. It’s a pretty rare Speedgraphic camera. It’s a militaryversion that’s why it’s black and green. Has a really good sharplens.Kodak Ektar’s were coated. Everything works on it and it also has afocal plane shutter with speeds up to 1/1000 of a sec!! Format is upto 4×5.

The other dust collector I’ve been working on and off for over 20years is a 8×10 Burke & Jerk (Burke and James) view camera. The bodyis made of wood and the uprights and monorail are made from alum.Don’t have any pic. of it. Needs new bellows and lots of cash forsome new lenses.Thought maybe you might find these cool. Hope the pic. from the showmay be of use to you.

–Later, Paul

CUSTOM ENGRAVING–These are some pic. of some forks made up by one of our customers. Nicework and he does engraving also. Can also do the engraving on a radiusedsurface–Paul.

Engraving is a lost art with the advent of laser machining and 8-axis CNC machines, but there are still a couple of diehards still out there. We here at Bikernet appreciate and honor the talent that put custom motorcycles on the map years ago. Next week we will post an article on one of the finest engraves still left on the planet. He’s a long-time biker and custom motorcycle builder C.J. Allen. Watch for it and check his site when you have a chance.

Continued on Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SUPER BOWL PARTY JUST AROUND CORNER–BANDIT HAS GONE TO SEA TO HOLD WEATHER FRONT OFF COAST

I don’t know where to start today. If you can make it to the Super Bowl party, great. We’ll be there, Bandit’s girls will be there, the game starts at 3 p.m. PST and we’ll be rockin’ with three bands at the Blue Cafe until we can’t stand up.

It’s been cool for the coast, but I rode the Buell to a couple of car lots looking at trucks, then Joetta called from Daytona. “Have I got a billboard for you!” she said. There went the truck budget. John Siebenthaler from the East Coast put together some comps and here, somewhere is the one we decided to go with. If you go it will be posted on Highway 92 or International Speedway.

I knew Layla’s birthday was just around the corner, but it was creeping up on me. The Dark Haired One doesn’t have a lot of material wants. She perfers the touchy/feely sensual experience that makes her knees weak, so I went into action. First thing in the morning I called Romona’s Bakery and ordered her a cake, something special. She came from a poor household in the San Pedro projects and with a gang of rugrats running around, budgets were tight. She had never had an official birthday cake. Then I rolled over to a flower shop and picked up a dozen roses, but not ordinary red roses. These looked like a knockout flame job with a cream colored base and bright red edges. My mind was a whirl of sexual notions for the evening and I decided to step onto the edge and try something wild. Since she likes to talk to other women about sex, I reached into my bag of tricks. We better get to the news before this gets too steamy and I call Sin and put off the news til next week.

If you need information about the party, check this link.You can download the invitation here.

BANDIT FACED WITH ANOTHER DEADLINE–Just when he thought the deadlines were under control, Crusing Rider hammers him for a column. Josh Placa, who lives in Sedona, Ariz., and edits Cruising Rider, sent a box of rattlesnakes to the headquarters and threatened to unleash them if the big bastard didn’t come up with a column. Look for the first in a long line of ridiculous bullshit in the summer issue.–Renegade.

DARWIN AWARD PICKS FOR THE WEEK– A 22-year-old Reston, Va., man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. “The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,” Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was “major trauma”.

A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend – no doubt, a future Darwin Awards candidate – was hospitalized.

SUNDANCE AND THE BIKERNET CYBER SPACE BIKE SHOW CHECKS IN– The Digital Gangster has made entry so simple that even the toy poodle that belongs to the old lady across the street could enter – if she had a scoot! Bandit has generously made the entry fee absolutely FREE! You read that right – ZERO, ZIP, NADA! Anyhow, with all of these perks, you can bet that there are plenty of entries keeping me busy here at HQ!

Since we have so many entrants, it was bound to happen – occasionally we run into a real rocket scientist who can’t figure out why his pictures won’t upload to our server. Perhaps it is time for a quick course in Internet photography and scanning 101. First of all, while you might believe that scanning at the highest resolution is the best, this is not entirely true. If you are scanning photos to send to us, the ideal resolution is 75 to 100 ppi. The human eye is incapable of discerning the tiny differences in quality between a 100 ppi photo and a 200 ppi photo, but the 200 takes up more than three times the space on the server. This occasionally means that the photo file becomes too large and cannot upload to our server.

Also, if you are sending two or three different photos, please scan each of them separately. Then upload each photo as directed. Do not lay all three photos on the scanner at once and then upload the one huge, mammoth collage of photos. We here at Bikernet are tempted to dump these in the garbage can, but in all fairness to the competitors, we sit in our office, quietly swearing under our breath, while separating all of these lovely conglomerations!

If your photos turned out fuzzy or overexposed, they will only look worse on the Internet. It might be a good idea to go back out with the camera and try again. Keep your elbows tight to your body when shooting (Not you, Oz!), and keep the camera steady. Keep the sun behind you, and try to shoot on sunny days. If you cannot see the entire bike through the viewfinder, it will not show up in the photo either. Take one step back, and we can trim off the excess if we need to when your photo arrives. Try to find a pleasant background for your pictures – a lake, a grove of trees, a mountain vista – whatever turns you on.

If you are snapping your photos indoors, turn on all of the lights and use your flash. Try to move miscellaneous junk out of the picture so our judges can concentrate on the beauty of your ride and not the cool topless model poster tacked to the back wall of your garage. They have been known to get easily distracted by that type of thing!

Bikernet wants every ride to have an equal chance of winning in the Cyber Space Bike Show, and sending in good quality photos that upload easily is the best place to start! Judging for January starts in just about a week, so hurry to get your entry in today.

–Happy Snapping!Sundance

AGENT M2 UPDATE–Bandit,I am shooting for Daytona Bike Week in March. Progress has been made in the past eight weeks with getting my ex back on track. I believe it is fair and provides for the family. It will be up to me to maintain contact with my kids and monitor their concerns. My ex and I both agree it is in the family’s best interest to see that I complete this last two years of employment and secure the retirement benefits.

So at this point I believe we are well and getting better. I appreciate your concern.By the way, your Web site is improving at an alarming rate! I trust San Pedro is not subject to power outages or I hate to think of all us bikernetters missing out on our weekly fix!

–Enjoy the game,Anson

Send batteries and kerosene

AHDRA FOR SALE–An underground contact just slipped us the following:Well, no surprise here, but AHDRA is officially for sale (so went theannouncement at the banquet). What we need out there is one more Rolexrider-gonna fix stuff for us.I will keep you posted. I’m curious to know if the H-D deal will go with it, butI’ll do some checking.

–Mystery correspondent

Cool looking Iron Head

Here are some pics from the Easyriders Bike Show in Charlotte. This is a Chopper’s Inc. Pan.

I forgot the ’56 Panhead from Charlotte H-D. It won first place in its class. Also, my buddy Bob Williams did all the restoration. I wanted to send you his full name as he wasn’t at the show.

–Paul

EASYRIDERS FINAL BIKE SHOW DATES FOR THE SEASON AND RODEO DATES FOR THE SUMMER–

Feb. 10
Memphis, Tenn.
Memphis Cook Convention Center

Feb. 16-18
Columbus, Ohio
Franklin County Veterans Memorial

Easyriders Motorcycle Rodeo Tour 2001

June 22,23,24
Hopkinsville, Ken.
Western Kentucky State Fairgrounds

July 6,7,8
Middletown, N.Y.
Orange County Fairgrounds

July 13,14,15
Wilson, N.C.
Wilson County Fairgrounds

July 27,28,29
Prospect, Penn.
Butler County Fairgrounds

Aug. 17,18,19
Fowlerville, Mich.
Fowlerville Fairgrounds

Aug. 30-Sept. 3
Chillicothe, Ohio
Ross County Fairgrounds

INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING ON BIKERNET?–Or would you like to order a dozen or more copies of “Sam ‘Chopper’ Orwell” for your shop? Well, the info for both is now posted on the home page, or just click here for the details.

INCREDIBLE BAMM REPORT–CC: South Carolina ABATE has filed an equal access bill to allow bikers toenter places of public accommodation without being harassed for their dressor mode of transportation. It’s been pre-filed as H 3115.

CC: ABATE of Pennsylvania’s Board of Directors approved a proposedlegislative agenda this past Saturday and told their “junior” lobbyist,CharlieUmbenhauer to proceed. In case we never mentioned it, Charlie had beentheir State Legislative Coordinator since the invention of dirt and bowedout atthe end of 1999 claiming a multitude of personal issues that needed to beresolved. Near the end of 2000, yours truly proposed to the Board ofDirectors that we hire him and pay the man for the work he has always donefor free. Although he has been involved with motorcycle rights far longerthanBruce Johnson, the lobbyist Charlie hired to work with ABATE back in thelate ’80s, it’s kind of amusing to refer to a man who won a Golden SpokeAward as a “junior” lobbyist.

If you enjoy the saga of Pennsylvania’s legislative attempts, here’s themenufor what to expect during the 2001 – 2002 Legislative Session here inGestapo land:

1. Helmet Law – what else? Get the damned thing off our heads.

2. Equal Access – sound familiar? We got publicly called wimps for wantingan “anti-discrimination” law which was previously filed on our behalf. Wewere included with groups I won’t name here who need equal employmentand housing protection. Now that we have the right name maybe we can getsome action.

3. Handlebar Height – ABATE of PA is going on record in favor of norestrictions on ape hangers and will ask that the current law be done awaywith. It was enacted to discriminate against chopper riders and give thecopsa way to harass them. It never was a safety issue that held much water. If aguy wants to ride around looking like he’s hanging from a tree, by damn, heought to have the right to do it.

4. Covered Loads – Maryland has a covered load law with teeth. Ours can’teven gum a violator. We’re going to use Maryland’s law as a model and worktoward stopping a variety of shit from sand blasting bikes and cars,breakingwindshields and putting big knots on various parts of our bodies. We wantthe act of dropping unsafe stuff all over the road causing dangerous ridingconditions to be illegal.

5. Motorcycle Parking – Same deal as last year that would allow two or morescooters in a space without indiscriminate ticketing of one or more of them(a fairy government’s way to produce revenue). It passed as part of thetransportation Omnibus bill, but got vetoed by Ridge because of other stuffinthe 203 page bill he didn’t like. Back to square one – AGAIN.

6. Veteran’s Plates – Lots of us old biker farts were once young defendersofpeace, truth and the American Way. Some of us, on the other hand, werejust plain killers who enjoyed the hunt. Nevertheless, our veterans alldeserveto be recognized for their service to the country and what better way thanontheir scooter’s license plate?

7. Motorcycle Awareness – Patterning the initiative after Virginia’sVCOM/ABATE success in this area, we want motorcycle awareness taughtin every driver’s ed class taught in the state. In addition, we wantmotorcycleawareness questions on the licensing exam; just to make sure the kidsweren’t playing grab ass during that portion of their training. We hope itwillkeep them from running us over later on.

8. Motorcyclists Matter – Someone will send you the info on this; so it’senough to say here that it’s an effort in consort with the AMA to getstifferpenalties levied against the folks who take away our right-of-way and causeus to be run over by them. “I didn’t see him” won’t float as an excuse forgetting a $25 failure to yield ticket while there’s a dead body on the hood.We want them prosecuted and prosecuted BIG TIME. Enhancing penaltiesmight just make the jerks pay attention to what they’re doing and looktwice,maybe thrice.

9. Taxing our brothers – That’s about what it amounts to, but it’s for agoodcause and will save their life if they take advantage of the program. PA’sMotorcycle Safety Courses are funded by a whopping $2 surcharge onmotorcycle learner permits and class M licenses. That means anyone with ascooter permit or license can take the MSF’s MRC or ERC course for free. Infact, permit holders who pass the MRC can be licensed right on the spot byour Site Coordinators. Last year we trained over 14,000 riders. But that wasthe maximum available funds would allow and we have around 750,000licensed motorcycle operators in this state with more coming on board everyyear. Last year, the state extended the valid time period for a permit from6months to a year. That means, duh, that fewer learner permits will be issuedand the program will be getting less funding. ABATE of PA’s commitment tomotorcycle safety demands that we propose an increase in the surcharge sothat more riders can be properly trained in this extremely importantprogram.

CC: Meanwhile, just below us in Maryland some bozo has proposed a billmandating motorcycle safety training as a prerequisite for obtaining amotorcycle license. Pretty dumb move considering there apparently isn’t anyfunding in place, an insufficient number of training sites are available and ashortage of qualified instructors exists not to mention the fact that, evenifthey had enough of everything mentioned, making the course mandatory willprobably result in more unlicensed riders on the road who haven’t had toexhibit any skills at all. In addition, students forced into trainingclasses mayhave a tendency to be disruptive and prohibit serious students who choose totake the course from having the opportunity to learn. HB 141 is simply a badidea. If you’re local to the following areas you can call 410-946-5400(Baltimore) or 301-970-5400 (Washington), and request a copy of the bill.Anyone not living there can eat up some government phone money and call800-492-7122 to get a copy. Apparently they maintain a log of bill requestsand comments, using it as a barometer of the public’s interest. This is thesame state run by a governor who wants built-in electronic trigger locksthatcan read the user’s hand print before the gun can be fired. That would bethesame governor who explained how easily an adult can remove a trigger lock ifthreatened by an aggressor and then fumbled with the damned thing fornearly a half hour before giving up. Prime time news was a hoot for the pro-gun folks that night.

PICKERINGTON, Ohio — The American Motorcyclist Association (AMA) hasannounced that Richard Gray and Jeff Smith were the winners in this year’selection for the AMA Board of Trustees.

Gray, a 21-year AMA member who lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, hasserved on the Board for the past six years and is the current chairman. Hewas the winner in a three-way race for the seat representing the NortheastRegion. Other candidates were Jerry Wood, and Robert Coy.

In North Central Region balloting, Smith, of Wausau, Wisconsin, earnedthe Board seat over Dale Greenwald. Smith is a 28-year AMA member whoserved for nine years as executive director of the American Historic RacingMotorcycle Association (AHRMA) before retiring last year. He is also a two-time world motocross champion. In the Northwest Region, Trustee Dal Smilie of Helena, Montana, who isalso the Board vice chairman, was unopposed. All three candidates were elected for three-year terms.

Alert! New high-tech Sniffer lets police secretly test driver’s breathfor booze WASHINGTON, DC — A sneaky new high-tech device that allowspolice to analyze your breath for traces of alcohol without yourknowledge or consent doesn’t just violate the Fourth Amendment, warnsthe Libertarian Party — it could get you tossed into jail for drunkdriving even if all you did was use mouthwash.

“All you have to do is breathe once, and, without so much as asearch warrant or a warning, police can administer a drunk-driving testthat is unreliable, underhanded, and unconstitutional,” charged theparty’s national director, Steve Dasbach.

CC: ABATE of PA’s Legislative & Leadership Seminar this coming weekendis SOLD OUT. In fact, we’re over-sold so if everyone shows up then someonewill be eating their Awards Banquet chow while sitting on the floor or theedge of the stage. Circle your calendar now for 2002. The seminar is alwaysheld on the last weekend of January.

Continued on Page 2

We are often asked to manufacture raked triple trees. Our decisionNOT TO RAKE TRIPLE TREES revolvesaround the stability and handling of the bike, and the safety of you,the rider. Raked triple trees are scientificallyunsound, as explained below.

As trail is REDUCED, instability results, producing a naturaltendency towards deflection or speed wobble.

As trail is INCREASED, so does the ability of a motorcycle toresist wobble and follow a straight line. There is alimit, however – too much trail can result in a motorcycle only beingable to travel in a straight line!

TRAIL is geometrically determined by continuing a centerlinethrough the frame head to the ground, and drop-ping a vertical line from the center of the axle. The differencebetween the 2 points (corrected to the centerlineof the motorcycle) is measured in inches.

THREE DIFFERENT FORK CONFIGURATIONS SHOWING HOWTRAIL IS AFFECTED

A) Typical Stock Configuration
A 30° rake is established in theframe head. The fork is alsoat 30°, with no rake changeevident in the triple trees. Thetrail is lets say 3.5″

B) Raked Triple Tree
The Frame Head remainsunaltered at 30°. The triple treesare machined to produce 35° inthe fork. The trail vanishes tozero degree, producing grossinstability.

C) How it Should Be Done
>The components are the sameexcept that the Frame Head isreconfigured to 35°. The alteredgeometry increases the trail tolet’s say 4.25 inches and producesmore straight-line stability.

So what’s the solution? We recommend altering the frame head inorder to achieve the desired non-standardrake. Never consider the “easy way out” by choosing raked tripletrees. We would caution the rider to seek professional help inselecting a precision jig and only using sound, careful weldingprocedures.

Glossary

RAKE: The angle of the fork tubes, expressedin degrees off vertical. Also: CASTER

TRAIL: An imaginary distance arrived atgeometrically, expressed in inches.

FRAME HEAD: A tubular section of the framethat houses the assembled fork stem andbearings. It is a normally immovable part whichestablishes the rake of the fork.

TRIPLE TREE: Machined, forged or castplates which contain the fork tubes and fork assembly.Usually no rake angle is established here.

Bikernet News Flash–Agent Zebra’s Great American Steamer Stolen

Yes, last weekend as I danced with Sin Wu in the narrow passageways of the Queen Mary, the dark forces that linger in the alleys of Hollywood reared their ugly heads and struck at the Agent’s ride. Brenda Fox from Bartels’ Harley-Davidson reported the following day that two more Harleys were captured in a ritzy Marina del Rey neighborhood while I groped at Sin’s milky flesh.

Was there foul play at the headquarters? Only the district attorney’s investigation may unleash the sordid details. Were women involved? Of course they were. The lovely Germanic blonde, Nicole, called me Friday morning and asked, in her dry, threatening, sharp-as-a-razorblade dialect, what I was doing. I mistakenly told her the tasty weekend schedule. If the rain let up I was to meet the Devil Dolls in San Diego. Goth Girl had demanded my presence in an underground night club in the old town section of Dago. I was scheduled to take two hefty brothers as back up since the Dolls seemed to be on a rampage, but then Sin and Layla got wind of my plans and enticed me into an evening of unrelenting sex and debauchery. Getting a sensual guarantee seemed more intriguing than being jack-boot stomped by the notorious Devil Dolls.

Back to the conversation with the tall blond Nazi. I shuddered at her request but didn’t hesitate to comply. Zebra had first been ousted from Los Angeles by the homeless union of derelicts and winos. He was nasty as an unemployed biker. He moved to Miami and set up a crank lab in the center of Cuban drug cartels. His popularity decreased rapidly as his low-quality speed filtered through the already edgy streets and skyrocketing humidity. He begged to return to Los Angeles. The staff voted against the Agent’s request for subsistence for all his hard work on the site. This didn’t endear the Agent to the staff, or as his threatening antics escalated, the staff to the Agent. In a recent marathon sexual strategy meeting, the Agent burst into the garage and started firing that nasty .45 automatic and even startled Renegade. The outburst forced the staff to pull his Bikernet patch and send him down the road. So when the lovely Nicole called demanding that we go to a particular party on the Queen Mary, we conceded. Little did we know that she was protecting us with a valuable alibi so that the nefarious deed could take place and we would be completely covered. I thought renting an entire ship and throwing a party for 300 people was a bit extreme. The story slips deeper into a den of depravity from here. We better get to the news:

–HARLEY-DAVIDSON REPORTS RECORD FOURTH QUARTER AND 15th CONSECUTIVE RECORD YEAR–2000 Net Income Increased 30.1 Percent on 18.5 Percent Higher RevenueHarley-Davidson, Inc. (NYSE: HDI) today announced record sales and earnings for its fourth quarter and year ended Dec. 31. Revenue for the quarter was $756.2 million compared with $662.5 million in the year-ago quarter, a 14.1 percent increase. Fourth quarter diluted earnings per share (EPS) were 31 cents, a 26.5 percent increase compared with last year’s 24 cents. Revenue for the full year was $2.91 billion, compared with $2.45 billion in 1999, an 18.5 percent increase. Diluted EPS for the full year were $1.13, a 31.1 percent increase compared with $0.86 in 1999.

“Our 15th consecutive record year exceeded our expectations, and despite the current economic uncertainty in the United States, the outlook for retail sales of Harley-Davidson motorcycles continues to be very strong,” said Jeffrey L. Bleustein, chairman and chief executive officer of Harley-Davidson, Inc.

“Through the continued introduction of market-defining products, a dealer network that is the envy of the industry, and our demonstrated ability to focus on and to fulfill our customers’ dreams, we are confident we will continue to deliver record revenues and income.”

“Fourth quarter results, current demand and our continued success in expanding motorcycle production, have given us the confidence to increase our production target to 227,000 Harley-Davidson motorcycles for 2001,” said Bleustein.

Fourth quarter shipments of Harley-Davidson motorcycles totaled 54,129 units, up 5,509 units or 11.3 percent over the same period last year. Sales of Harley-Davidson motorcycles were $606.1 million, an increase of $75.9 million or 14.3 percent.

Sales of Parts and Accessories (P&A), which consist of Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories, totaled $98.5 million, an increase of $20.2 million or a 25.9 percent increase from the year-ago quarter. Fourth quarter sales of General Merchandise, which consists of MotorClothes? apparel and collectibles, totaled $40.7 million, an increase of $5.6 million or 15.9 percent over the same period last year.

Longer term, the Company expects the growth rate for P&A revenues to increase slightly faster than Harley-Davidson’s motorcycle unit growth rate, while it expects the growth rate for General Merchandise to grow slightly slower than the motorcycle unit growth rate.

Fourth quarter gross margin was 34.7 percent of revenue, up slightly from 34.6 percent of revenue last year.Fourth quarter operating margin for the Motorcycles and Related Products Segment was 17.3 percent of revenue, which was better than last year’s fourth quarter operating margin of 16.6 percent. Operating expenses did not increase as rapidly as revenue, resulting in improved operating margins. Included in operating expenses was a charge of $4 million related to the cost of extending the warranty for a rear cam bearing in certain Twin Cam 88? engines.

Harley-Davidson/Buell retail registrations in 2000 have grown in all major markets, with the U.S. up 15.4 percent through November, Europe up 8.8 percent through October and Japan/Australia up 3.6 percent through October. (See Table that follows for more detail.)

Harley-Davidson Financial Services, Inc. (HDFS), a subsidiary of Harley-Davidson, Inc., reported fourth quarter operating income of $13.0 million, up $4.5 million compared to the year-ago quarter.

For the fiscal year ended 2000, total Harley-Davidson motorcycle shipments were 204,592 units compared with 177,187 units in 1999, a 15.5 percent increase. Harley-Davidson motorcycle revenue was $2.25 billion, an increase of $355.5 million or an 18.8 percent increase.

Total Buell motorcycle shipments were 10,189 units compared with 7,767 units in 1999, a 31.2 percent gain. Buell motorcycle revenue was $58.1 million, a decrease of $5.4 million or 8.5 percent. The decline in revenue was driven primarily by a shift to production of lower-priced Buell Blast motorcycles, which target new riders.

P&A revenue totaled $447.8 million, a 23.5 percent increase, while General Merchandise revenue totaled $151.4 million, a 14.1 percent increase compared to 1999.

Full year operating income for HDFS was $37.2 million, an increase of $9.5 million or 34.3 percent compared to 1999.

Diluted earnings per share were $1.13, an increase of 31.1 percent. After the first quarter sale of the Harley-Davidson? Chrome VISA? card is excluded, diluted earnings per share were $1.11, an increase of 28.5 percent.

This is ET 29, Kim Swank from Broomfield, Colo. He is seventh in the AHDRA national points standings for 2000. This was also from the Las Vegas race in October 2000.–Helen Wolfe

BUELL REPORT–Had a day off here and didn’t even want to be at the shop. Needed to work on my forks on my Buell but needed more to be away to clear my head. So first I went up to Tilley’s and did some “bench racing” with my buddyNeal. Showed him some Flow Bench plans I ran into, a really cool way of building one.

He showed me a stock Buell air box that he had on his S2. It was the newer style that a lot of people don’t like. He modified it with a air intake opening on the front end of the air box cover. It had a K&N air filter at the opening. Good way to do Ram air. It was also paintedthe same color as the the bike and not the stock textured flat black.

After that I visited a buddy at Curley’s H-D in Winston Salem, N.C. I checked out the dealership. It’s a nice place with the “diner” and all. They were pretty busy. Doing a lot of cam changes on Twin Cam bikes.

Also saw Bonnie, a lady friend of mine there who used to work with me at Charlotte. Made a point for me to try and get tickets for the Easyriders Bike Show this weekend at Charlotte.After that I went and saw T.R. at Tman performance. Man I was in DragBike heaven! There was cool stuff all over the place — Serdi machine, heads, flowbench, just amazing stuff. Not the kinda stuff you see in any magazine. It was stuff that you see at the Strip taken apart being worked on. This guy is really talented.Going there and also going to Tilley’s is just what I needed to get my head going again. Wish I had some pictures because words don’t even come closeto describing some of the stuff that these shops are doing.

Anyway, other than that, nothing really to send. Hope to get some pictures for you from the Easyriders show this weekend.– Paul in N.C.

VANCOUVER BC CANADA HOG– Chapter Schedule ofevents for 2001

Note:Vancouver HOG chapter meetings will be held in January, February, March, September, October, November and December. The meeting will be on the first Tuesday of the month at 7 p.m., unless it falls on a long weekend. Then the meeting will be the next Tuesday that is not a holiday weekend. The months of April, May, June and July, the meeting will be held on the first Saturday of the month, with a mystery ride after the meeting. If it falls on a long weekend, then the meeting will be the next Saturday that is not a holiday weekend. There will not be a Vancouver chapter business meeting in August.

Jan. 19-21: Vancouver Motorcycle Show at Tradex Center in Abbotsford, BC. Call Trev DeeleyMotorcycles (604) 291-BIKE.We will have the HOG BUSS again this year on the 21st. Bussleaves TrevDeeley Motorcycles at 10 a.m. to go out there and leaves the Tradex Centerat 2:30 toreturn to Trev Deeley Motorcycles. Call (604) 291-BIKE

Jan. 27: Delta LOH Bowling nite: Vancouver vs. Delta. Call Penny (604)576-8022

Feb. 6: HOG Meeting 4608 Imperial in Burnaby Call (604) 434-1502Feb. 10: 3rd Annual Sweetheart Dinner Party at the Rockin HorseLounge in Maple Ridge.Bring a non-perishable food item for the soup kitchen. Call Dan (604)984-7831

Feb. 18: Wacky Bowling Nite with the Honda Group. Call (604)434-1502

Feb. 24: LOH hosts a Guys ?n Gals Billiards Night… Bring a non-perishable food item for the soup kitchen. Call (604) 434-1502.

BIKERNET DECEMBER SHOW WINNERS– Well, now that Oz and the Gangster have kissed and made up and things are back to normal (well normal for this place), we have a whole new set of winners to share with you in the Cyber Space Bike Show. There are some fabulous bikes that really deserve a look-see. These winners from December can look forward to a great Bikernet trophy and some other hot prizes. Remember, it cost them nothing to enter.

ProStreet – Kevin O’Neal of Erie, Penn.

Radical Custom – Eddie Funk of Olathe, Kan.

Ridden The Pirate – Jack Verburg of Sicamus, B.C. Canada

Sportster – Gail Hamilton of Charlotte, N.C.

Street Custom-Stock – Chris Chrome of Huntington Beach, Calif.

Vintage – Christopher Lotz of Lawrenceburg, Ken.

Vintage Chopper – Ray Carter Jr. of Harlingen, Texas

Our congratulations to these wonderful winners. One problem Bandit… Chris Chrome, the winner in our Street Custom-Stock category, swears that I, Sundance, am you “in a skirt.” Now I’ve seen you in plenty of skirts, but you were never the one wearing them, so we’ll have to find a way to convince Chris and any other “Doubting Thomases” out there that you and I are two different people. Unless you don’t mind having our visitors think you are some split personality transvestite! I’m looking forward to the January judging. Geez, I always love to see who our new winners are, but I can’t wait to see Oz have the Gangster keel hauled if he comes across another glitch in the programming!

Love ya!
Sundance

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE– is brought to you by Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For moreinformation, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our website at http://www.aimncom.com,http://www.On-A-Bike.com

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS–Compiled and Edited by BILL BISH,National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM)

FEDS ENDORSE HEALTH CARE DISCRIMINATION For the past several years,motorcyclists have rightfully believed that we had won the federallyprotected right to medical benefits from our health care providers in theevent of an accident. But now, over four years since bikers from across thecountry successfully lobbied Congress to ban health insurance discriminationagainst motorcycle riders, new regulations released recently may actuallyhave the opposite effect.The original intent of the legislation, the Health Insurance PortabilityAct of 1996, was to protect employees from being discriminated against bybeing denied coverage ”due to their participation in activities such asmotorcycling, snowmobiling, all-terrain vehicle riding, horseback riding,skiing and other similar activities,” according to the Congressional Recordfrom that time.But on January 5, 2001, the three federal agencies involved in therulemaking process to codify the legislation into federal regulations,released the new rules which appear to completely contradict the originalCongressional intent. While on one hand the regulations state that employers cannot refusehealthcare insurance on the basis of an employee’s participation in legalrecreational pursuits, on the other hand it allows health care benefits to bedenied for injuries sustained in connection with those activities.

Weencourage concerned riders to contact your Congressional representatives andurge them to take corrective action.To contact members of Congress, call the Capitol Telephone Exchange at(202) 224-3121.
Flash-Just in, President Bush has declared a moratorium on any new regulations being printed in the Federal Register. This may effectively block implementation of this new rule. Stay tuned for more updates!

EPA TO TARGET MOTORCYCLE EMISSIONS– The Feds are drawing a bead onmotorcycles, and will soon tighten emissions standards for street bikes andimpose standards for dirt bikes, which are currently unregulated at thefederal level.The Environmental Protection Agency is expected to follow California’slead in both sets of standards, reports the San Francisco motorcyclepublications CITY BIKE.Along with bikes, snowmobiles, marine engines and industrial engines suchas those used in forklifts are expected to come under scrutiny in the comingmonths.In a November document called an Advance Notice of Proposed Rule Making,the EPA puts forth their case for regulating machines hitherto untouched. Onpage 3 of the document, it is proposed that while they’re at it, they may aswell tighten standards for street bikes too.

TAXMAN MAY SOMEDAY RIDE WITH YOU One day, perhaps, every vehicle on the road will be equipped with a computer that uses satellite technology torecord every mile you drive, and in which states and on which roads. Thenthe government will use that information to tax you for your driving.That day could be just five to 10 years away, according to an article byLarry Sandler in the MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL, as Wisconsin has joinedeight other states and the federal government in paying for an $800,000 studyof whether such a system could be created to replace the gas tax.Although this Orwellian concept is plagued with privacy concerns, they’repressing ahead with the study, because they fear the growth ofalternative-fuel cars could mean the end of the road for the gas tax. As aside benefit, they say the system would give every driver a satellitenavigation unit and a way to call for help in an emergency.

MICHIGAN PASSES LAW TO LIMIT MOTORCYCLE CONFISCATIONS Michigan GovernorJohn Engler signed a bill on Jan. 5, that will prevent policeagencies from withholding a motorcycle longer than 30 days after it isconfiscated. The motorcycle confiscation bill (SB1012) provides for safe andsecure transportation and storage from the time the bike is picked up by anypolice agency (if the bike gets damaged the bill has provisions forpenalties). The police then have 30 days to return the bike to the owner orface penalties, court costs and actual attorney fees (if an attorney wasrequired to get the bike back). This bill will help prevent the police from taking a bike just to harassand detain bikers and then keeping the bike for years without cause.Senator Mat Dunaskiss (R) sponsored the bill at the request of Angel(Communications Director) ABATE OF MICHIGAN, Inc.”I sure hope other states can use this too,” said Angel, ”We are allin this together and we don’t always live or ride in the same state all ofour lives.”

SPANISH BAN ON MOTORCYCLE TRAILERS BROUGHT BEFORE COURT The EuropeanCommission (EC) has decided to bring Spain before the Court of Justicebecause it considers that Spain’s absolute ban imposed on motorcycles towingtrailers is an unjustifiable barrier to the free movement of goods andpersons between Member States of the European Union.The EC, while sharing the Spanish authorities’ concern for road safety,which was cited as justification for the ban, considers that road safety canbe achieved by measures which are less trade-restrictive. For example, otherMember States impose maximum speed limits on motorcycles with trailers or setmaximum trailer dimensions or weight limits on the load which the trailersmay carry.After Denmark, where the trailer ban was lifted in June 1998 thanks tothe efforts of the FEDERATION OF EUROPEAN MOTORCYCLE ASSOCIATIONS (FEMA),Spain is the only country imposing this type of ban. According to FEMA, thiscauses a lot of problems for many touring motorcyclists with trailers who aretraveling between southern countries, all of which allow trailer use.

SIDECARISTS SOMETIMES OVERCHARGED AT TOLL BOOTHS ”Back in the 70’s inresponse to statements from our members, we found that many tollways, tollbridges, toll tunnels, turnpikes, etc., were charging sidecarists up to 50%MORE than the driver of a heavy two axle limo or pickup truck,” E-mailed HalKendall of the UNITED SIDECAR ASSOCIATION.”Over a period of about five years we worked consistently to bring abouta uniform and fair toll not to exceed the rate for a passenger car,” saidHal. ”We thought we had all tollways in line but it seems that on occasionsome will charge a sidecarist as a three axle vehicle.”The latest, says Hal, was the Harris County Toll Road in Houston.Upon receipt of Hal’s letter requesting clarification of their rates, Mr.Bernard Koudelka, Executive Director responded that they will address thisissue with all their collection personnel and to charge sidecarists at theirprivate passenger 2-axle rate.

NEW DARWIN AWARDS UPDATE–The Darwin Awards, for those not familiar, are for those individualswho contribute to the survival of the fittest by eliminating themselvesfromthe gene pool before they have a chance to breed.

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunkcheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixedgasolinewith milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and hevomitedinto the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fireburnedhis house down, killing both him and his sister.

A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his homediedof suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6’2″ tall andweighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, blackandwhite saddle shoes, and a woman’s wig. It appeared that he was trying tocreate a schoolgirl’s uniform look. He was also wearing a military gasmaskthat had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in itsplace. The other end of the hose was connected to a one end of a hollowwooden tube approx. 12″ long and 3″ in diameter. The tube’s other endwasinserted into his rear end for reasons unknown, and was the cause of hissuffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances ofhisdeath to his family very awkward.

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at lowaltitudewhen another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moonthe occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraftandcrashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with theirpants around their ankles.

A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highwaynearMarseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger andkilling herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not havequalified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that thedriver’s attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring,whichhad started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempttopress the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi’s life, the woman lostherown.

TO ALL HAMSTER FRIENDS–I am saddened to have to pass this information on to everyone. Our goodfriend, Travis Elliott from Leavenworth, Kan., passed away last night. Hewas out bowling with friends and had a heart attack. We will truly miss himand his good spirit and kind words for all.

The services are as follows: A visitation will be on Jan. 18from 6-9 p.m. at the Davis Funeral Home, 531 Shawnee, Leavenworth, Kan. 66048;phone (913) 682-5523. The funeral is at 11 a.m. on Jan. 19 at Davis Funeral Home; the burial is at 12:30 p.m. at the VA cemetery.

To express your condolences and prayers to Lana and their family, the addressis:Lana Elliott404 S. 11th St.Leavenworth, Kan. 55048

Our hearts go out to Lana and her family. If there is anything further, I’lllet everyone know.–Patty

THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS 2001 SCHEDULE CHANGES–

September 15………….Shiloh Junior High School
September 22………….Cub Scout Troop #101
September 29………….St Paul Blind Academy
October 6………………….Spanish American War Vets
October 13……………….Crippled Children’s Home
October 20……………….Elgin Mental Hospital
October 27……………….Girl Scout Troop #353
November 3…………….OH Venereal Disease Clinic
November 10……………Lakewood Boys Choir
November 17……………Korean Amputees Special Monday Night Game
December 9…………….Brecksville Girls Club

ROGUE’S DISCOUNT BIKE PARTS–Yes, he is the king of parts discounts. This week we even have photos to accompany the vast inventory of late model parts.

2 – American Quantum FXR PRO STREET FRAMES $600.00 ea
1 – 4 Speed Harley transmission fits 1965-1984 Big Twin ( rebuilt)$1000.00

1 Roadstar 16 inch spoke wheel in box$250.00
1 Revtech 16×3 Front rally style billet wheel complete$350.00ea

1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 front Mirage style billet wheel complete$350.00
1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 Rim only Daytona style billet wheel$250.00
2 Sturgis Front Rim Hubs Non Brake Side for Single Brake set-up$50.00ea
1Sturgis 16×3 1/2 Rims only Rally style billet wheel$250.00

1Sturgis 16×5 1/4 Rear Roadstar style billet wheel with Brake Side Hub(needs Pulleyside hub available from Sturgis wheel) Sturgis Roadstar Billet Rear BeltPulley $700.00
1 Attitude style Sturgis Billet Rear Belt Pulley$300.00
2 CCI 47-098 70 tooth rear pulley multi spoke$275.00ea
2 American Quantum Billet Aluminum Anti-Reversionary Front Ends – Ready tobolt on. $700.00ea
5 Billet Aluminum inner primarys to fit FXR Rubber Mount, Extra Strong$500.00ea Retail $1000.00 +
5 Billet Aliminum outer primary covers to fit FXR Rubber Mount,Extra Strong$500.00ea Retail $1000.00 +
4 H-D inner primarys to fit FXR$200.00ea

10 9135 H.D. Inner Primary Bearings, 5 Speed 1987 upRetail $20.00 Dealer $10.00 Rogue $8.00
5 39998-65 Anchor Plate Chain Adjuster Inner PrimaryRetail $152.00 Dealer $98.39 Rogue $75.00
10 Sets of 4140 Steel EVO connecting rods$50.00set
5 S&S Connecting rod sets part number 34-7010$150.00set
2 Spyke Starter jackshaft kits CCI 28-677 big twins 89-93$70.00ea
3 5 Speed Harley Davidson taper shaft diaphgram clutch assembly w/kevlarclutch plates $400.00ea
5 37906-90 H.D. Clutch Basket Bearings Retail $83.00 Dealer $41.30Rogue$35.00
3 Heavy Billet Aluminum 5 Speed transmission doors polished and beaings$150.00ea
7 Jims pinion gears 24045-78 Green to 89$30.00ea
3 Jims pinion gears 24043-78 Red to 89$30.00ea
1 Set CCI 15-294 6 Gallon Gas Tanks HD FXST 1984-96 & custom frames$100.00set
3 25-550x Custom Chrome Flatside Gas Tank Mounting Kit Retail $49.95 Dealer$32.95 Rogue $25.00
5 CCI 13-383 Russell Stainless Steel Disc Brake Rotors (oem 41813-79) Retail$ 79.95 – Dealer $55.25 – Rogue $50.00 ea
5 CCI 13-381 Russell Stailess Steel Disc Brake Rotors (oem 41791-79A) Retail$79.95 – Dealer $55.25 – Rogue $50.00ea
3 32-574 Custom Chrome Bolt Kit For Rear Disc Brake Rotor to Hub W/CastWheelRetail $10.00 Dealer $6.65 Rogue $5.00
1 CCI 09-880 Adjustable Rear Mini Shaker Floorboard Set Retail $ 179.95 -Dealer $116.95 – Rogue $100.00
1 Set (4) Custom Sumax Premium Pushrod Cover Kit For H.D.EVO $135.80Retail – $94.05 Dealer – $80.00 ROGUE
1 H.D 132 Tooth Rear Drive Belt # H.D. 40023-86 Fits 86 to present Softail.$165.95 Retail – $107.95 Dealer – $100.00 ROGUE
1 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve Head Front New Retail $295.68 – Dealer $197.12$195.00
1 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve Head Front New Retail $295.68 – Dealer $197.12$195.00
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads front, minor repair needed on some(guide,seat,threads) Retail Price $295.68, – Dealer $197.12 But has guides& seats alreadyinstalled.$150.00ea
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads rear, minor repair needed on some(guide,seat,threads)Retail Price $295.68, – Dealer $197.12 But has guides & seats alreadyinstalled.$150.00ea
1 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front rocker boxes complete, need to be reshimed$395.00ea
1 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rear rocker boxes complete, need to be reshimed$395.00ea
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front rocker boxes Retail $184.20- Dealer$122.80 $75.00ea
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rear rocker boxes Retail $184.20- Dealer $122.80$75.00ea
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front exhaust rocker arms Retail $159.38- Dealer$106.25 $75.00ea10 Dual Carb Plenums for Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve Heads Retail $95.07-Dealer$75.00 $50.00ea
5 Dual Carb Plenums for Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve Heads Flanges Machined andBored to 1 7/8 for S&S Carb Retail $120.07 – Dealer $100.07 – Rogue $75.07
10 Intake Plenum Runners for Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads Retail $87.42-Dealer $58.28 $25.00ea

5 Sets of Billet fender struts to fit Boyce frames$100.00set
10 Front Ofset motor mount black powdercoat Boyce frames$25.00ea
10 Front Offset motor mount Chrome KB 01-301 Boyce frames$30.00ea

5 Petcocks CCI 25-253 & Chrome Spec. 260366$10.00ea
3Petcocks CCI 27050 Accel$30.00ea
20 Steel motormount stablizer (turnbuckle complete) rubber mount 5 speeds$40.00ea
5 FXR Chrome Kickstands$50.00ea

1 Sumax #8635 Front Fender $100.00$50.00
1 Sumax #8650 Front Fender $100.00$50.00
1 Sumax #8651 Front Fender $100.00$50.00
1 Sumax #8654 Front Fender $156.00$75.00
1 Sumax #8604 W Rear Fender $158.00$75.00

1 Sumax #8609 W Rear Fender $127.00$60.00
1 Sumax #8617 W Rear Fender $114.00$55.00
1 Sumax #8619 W Rear Fender $119.00$60.00
1 Sumax #8656 W Rear Fender $192.00$95.00
3 CCI 13-389 Russel Stainless Oil Lines for FXR 1987 – 1990 Retail$143.95 – Dealer $99.35 – Rogue $80.00
3 CCI 13-387 Russel Stainless Oil Lines for Softail 1990 – 1992 Retail$156.95 -Dealer $109.15 – Rogue $90.00

Clear Coated Universal Stainless Steel Brake Line
16 Inch Long Retail $27.95 Dealer $17.95 Rogue $15.00 ea
17 Inch Long Retail $25.95 Dealer $18.15 Rogue $16.00 ea
19 Inch Long Retail $27.95 Dealer $19.95 Rogue $17.00 ea
23 Inch Long Reail $30.10 Dealer $20.95 Rogue $18.00 ea
26 Inch long Retail $31.10 Dealer $21.65 Rogue $19.00 ea
38 Inch Long Retail $34.95 Dealer $24.45 Rogue $22.00 ea
47 Inch Long Retail $37.95 Dealer $26.55 Rogue $24.00 ea
54 Inch Long Retail $40.95 Dealer $28.65 Rogue $26.00 ea
1 Dunlop 491 MT90B16-71H Front Tire $70.00
1 Metzler Perfect ME-99A (150/80X16) Rear Tire $70.00

TO VERIFY SUMAX Fenders Prices and other Info e-mail info@sumax.com andask.Other stuff, such as seats and cables, to be listed later as Iam still sorting parts.Prices subject to change and some parts are limited.

SHIT!– I’m gonna have to stop being such a nice guy. I mean, you go out of your way to help a buddy who’s in a bind and you end up on the Internet being tagged a bike thief. That’s gratitude. Next time I do you a favor, I’m makin’ sure there aren’t any cameras around. People used to just think I was a low life, now they’ll know it for sure. I hope you never get any pictures of me screwing some dude’s old lady, I’ll be fucked for sure.

–Steve

So, what do you want me to do with the film?–Bandit

ALWAYS THOUGHT GREEN SNAKES WERE OK? READ ON–Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, notrattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of pottedplants,and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of themindoorstoprotect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a littlegreengarden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it hadwarmedup, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.She let out a very loud scream.

The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living roomnaked tosee what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under thesofa.He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. Aboutthattime the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt. He thoughtthesnakehad bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, soshecalled an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him onthe stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and theEmergencyMedical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.That’swhen the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so shecalledon a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armedhimselfwith a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on thesofain relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions,whereshe felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, thesnakerushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her layingtherepassed out tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at thegrocerystore, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed herhusband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knockinghimout andcutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulancewasagain called and it was determined that the injury requiredhospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighborlying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed hehadbeenbitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a smallbottleof whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelledthewhiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They wereabout toarrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it allhappenedovera little green snake.

They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and hissobbingwife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch,One ofthe policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake andhitthe leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The tablefelloverand the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fireinthe drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fellthroughthe window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled,jumped upand raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoiditand smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. Meanwhiletheburning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house wasblazing.

Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire-truckhadstarted raising his ladder as they were halfway down the street. Therising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricityanddisconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area.

Time passed —————– Both men were discharged from thehospital,The house was re-built, The police acquired a new car, and all wasrightwith their world ——- About a year later they were watching TV andtheweatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband askedhiswife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.

THE BAD AMERICAN– I like big cars, big guns and big tits. I believe the money I make belongsto me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a badcomb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squeezing out babies.

I don’t think playing with guns makes you a killer. I don’t think being aminority makes you noble or victimized. I don’t care if you call me aracist, a homophobe or a misogynist. I know that no matter how big JenniferLopez’s ass gets, I’ll still want to see it.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac in America, you do it inEnglish. I don’t use the excuse “it’s for the children” as a shield forunpopular opinions or actions.

I know what the definition of “is” is. I didn’t take credit for inventingthe Internet. I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osborne, Ice-T orMarilyn Manson sang. I think that being an art student doesn’t give you anymore insight than working at Blockbuster.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God. I think the WNBAis cool, as is the US Women’s’ Soccer Team – because they kick ass.

My heroes are John Wayne, Winston Churchill, Ronald Reagan, NormanSchwartzkopf, Colin Powell and whoever canceled “Dr. Quinn, MedicineWoman”.

I think creative violence and useless nudity and sex makes movies moreinteresting.

I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.

I’ve never owned or was a slave, I didn’t wander 40 years in the desertafter getting chased out of Egypt. I haven’t burned any witches or beenpersecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-hell-up already.

Rocky and Bullwinkle still make me laugh. I think you can respect andadmire women while mentally undressing them. I believe a self-righteousliberal with a cause is a lot more dangerous than a 9-year-old with a PlayStation.

I think explosions are cool. I don’t care where Ellen DeGeneres puts hertongue. I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you’rerunning from them.

I worry about dying before I get even.

I like the convenience of buying oranges while I’m waiting at a stoplight,and I’m pretty sure the Latina girl selling them to me is glad she no longerlives in a refrigerator packing carton outside Ensenada.

I figured out Bruce Willis was dead midway through The Sixth Sense butenjoyed it anyway.

I think turkey bacon sucks.

I believe you don’t have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch or paintfor your living room.

I’ll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry were “Sands of IwoJima” and “Ole Yeller”. I didn’t realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I hada kid.

I and many like me are neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter howdesperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.–YES, I am a BAD American

HEART ATTACK–A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she has a near death experience. Duringthat experience she sees God and ask if this is it.

God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Uponher recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have afacelift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figuressince she’s got another 30 years she might as well make the most ofit. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and iskilled by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God and complains: “I thought you said I hadanother 30 years.

God replies, “I didn’t recognize you.”

TOURING CHOP FOR SALE– One of the icons of Bikernet is for sale to help us stay in bean and Jack, plus assist with the construction of a new shop. The entire saga of the construction of the Touring Chop is covered in the annals of Bikernet. Recently the ignition system was changed to a Compu-Fire single-fire unit, which smoothed out the stroker motor, and we re-engineered the rear suspension to give it the finest ride it’s ever had. Plus a couple of months ago it was featured in a Rod Stewart music video.

For more information, drop me a line, bandit@bikernet.com>Happy New Year, first of all. I haven’t much to say lately butI still visit your site weekly and enjoy the hell out of it. You’re stillmy other heroKeith and thought you might enjoy the picture. I haven’t a clue who theowner is, butwhat a designer. Some men may take it to the next level and never get off! ha, haThank you for giving this matter your immediate attention.

HOWDY–If you enjoy Bonneville history, especially the exploits of Ab Jenkins, you might want to check out the link to the SAE Motorsports Web site. I am a regular columnist with them and gave them the piece about Ab from my book, “Bonneville Salt Flats,” but used photos not published in the book.http://www.motorsportsengineering.sae.org/motorsports/ccol003A.htm

Speedy Regards,”LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth

WIN A HARLEY–There is a radio station here in Denver that is giving away a Harley to aMANwho will agree to have breast implants. He has to keep them in for oneyear.They say it is an $8,000 bike. Can you imagine doing that for abike???????I think this is a lawsuit waiting to happen (not to mention potentiallyimmoral), but then again, what do I know???

— Jane

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE PERFORMANCE PARTS AND IHRA ANNOUNCE NEW NITRO HARLEY-DAVIDSON PURSES AND SHOOTOUT–Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts, a division of Harley-Davidson, has announced their increased commitment to the IHRA Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley-Davidson class. Beginning with the 2001 season, the class will be known as Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley-Davidson’s. The commitment creates the biggest, most lucrative motorcycle drag racing competition program in the United States.

IHRA’s partnership with Screamin’ Eagle includes a $19,000 purse at each of 11 Nitro-Harley Davidson national event races and a $90,000 season-ending championship points purse fund that guarantees $35,000 to the world champion.

New to the program is the $22,000 Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley Shootout at a yet undetermined location. The Shootout pays $8,000 to win, with $5,000 awarded to the runner-up.

1998 IHRA Nitro Harley World Champion and successful Houston Harley-Davidson dealer, Johnny Mancuso has supported the class from its beginning and welcomes Screamin’ Eagle’s increased commitment.

BIG DOG MOTORCYCLES L.L.C. UNLEASHES THE 2001 MASTIFF–Big Dog Motorcycles would like to introduce the all-new Mastiff. The ultimate fat attitude bike. The Mastiff comes equipped with a 230 rear tire and an integrated LED taillight on a comfortable solo seat hidden shock frame. The Mastiff’s low slug hidden-shock frame delivers great looks and an unexpected level of main street comfort.

Like every core performet, the all-new Mastiff comes with a smooth 107-inch engine, sporty machined aluminum wheels and all-new chrome lowere legs.

Big Dog sell motorcycles both “consumer direct” and through a growing number of authorized dealers.

CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY–A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the manopposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. Thistime the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed moreamused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complainedto the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20) what he had tosay for himself. The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this: Whenthe lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She satunder a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and I grinned.Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Slogan’s Liniment will reducethe swelling” and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did theTrick” and I could hardly contain myself. BUT your Honor, when she moved thefourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could haveprevented this Accident…I just lost it.”

“CASE DISMISSED”

BIKERNET SUPERBOWL PARTY AND BLUES JAM–It’s Jan. 28, upstairs in the Blue Cafe off Broadway in the downtown Long Beach Promenade. Three blues bands, great chow, you can park out front and we have three dedicated pool tables just for us. Here’s some more info or drop me a line if you need anything else–Bandit@bikernet.com. Here’s a link to the invitation, enjoy–You can download the invitation here.

21 and over club – No kids allowed
Outside patio for smokers
$7 cover charge starts at 7 p.m., but as long as you’re already there and with us, you’re cool.
Three regulation pool tables in Blue Room – opened for Super Bowl partygo-ers
Free parking for cars in Long Beach Plaza lot on Third Street between Pine Avenue and Long BeachBoulevard.
$3 parking in front of Blue Cafe for cars.Bikes park free.
Two full bars
If you can’t stand the food we ordered, they have a full kitchen open till 11 p.m. Nothing on the menu is over $8.95.

Sunday drink specials:
Bloody Mary $3
Dixie Voodo $2
Rattlesnake $2
Dixie $2

ATTENTION BIKERS!–Learn your rights regarding search and seizure and inspection of your personal property if stopped by the police. California ABATE, Local 9 is having a quest speaker at its March 6 meeting to address these and other issues.

If you have questions about what you must do or don’t have to do when pulled over by law enforcement, this is the night to have all your questions answered by a knowledgeable specialist on this topic. Bring all your friends and fellow criminals. Remember that knowledge is power, and a citizen who knows his or her rights is a threat to the powers that try to hinder our personal freedom.

Time: 7 p.m.
Date: March 6
Place: Swallows Inn, San Juan Capistrano, Calif.
Host: ABATE local 9
Information: Slippery Steve (949) 586-9468

MORE STATE MOTTOS–

Georgia: We Put the “Fun” in Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, We’re Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce the “S”
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First of the Rectangle States
Kentucky: 5 Million People; 15 Last Names
Louisiana: We’re Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos
Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: A Thinking Man’s Delaware
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s

WHERE WAS I? There’s an evil spirit hanging over the L.A. Basin. I’m trying desparately to buy a pickup and Don Whalen called. He’s an Indian and vintage expert who is selling my ’46 Indian (626-358-9696). Although, I’d rather keep this beautiful puppy. He only called an hour ago to report that someone had just stolen his El Camino. This cage was beautiful and has a license plate that says SCOOTERS. If you see it, kill the driver and give me a call. That’s three bikes and a biker’s truck in a week. Not a good average.

Damn, I wanted to share some of the sordid details from last weekend. The girls just get nastier by the day. But now I’m not up for tales of long nights of crumpled sheets and satisfying moans. It just doesn’t seem right. I’m going to pour a Jack on the rocks and reflect, or spin the cylinder on a .357 mag and wish for outlaw justice. Let’s mount up and ride–Bandit