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May 24, 2001 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS–TWO WOMEN ATTACK HEADQUARTERS AT CRACK OF DAWN (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 1

RESCUE MOTORCYCLE SAFETY FOLLOWING NHTSA/NBC NEWS ATTACK!– The joint Motorcycle Riders Foundation/State Motorcyclists? Rights Organization (SMRO) campaign to advance motorcycle safety through the 107th Congress hit full steam last week, only to suffer damage when a torpedo hit was leveled by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) and ?NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw.?You may have missed the broadcast that millions watched, so here are the details and an urgent call to action.

On Thursday, May 17, ABATE of Colorado became the ninth SMRO to visit Washington, D.C., in concert with MRF, to advance, among other initiatives, a meaningful, no-strings resource injection to help eradicate the waiting period for safety training for all riders. The motorcycle safety component of the joint MRF-SMRO agenda calls also for the first-ever national campaign of Motorist Awareness of Motorcycles to wake up clueless motorists who continue to be at fault for most serious accidents involving cars and bikes.

Colorado?s intervention on Capitol Hill came at a pivotal time and brought the total to nearly 100 members of Congress who?ve heard our pro-safety/pro-freedom message.

Thursday evening, as your brothers and sisters returned to Colorado after a job well done, NHTSA and NBC News launched an agenda of their own: mandatory training and, of course, a bid for more and more research.

Not content with lobbying state legislatures to restrict motorcyclists? freedom, NHTSA came to the aid of NBC News last week to point out that there has been an increase in fatalities among older riders. Armed with what NHTSA later confessed to an MRF member as ?a power point presentation? based on ?raw data,? NBC News took aim at all motorcyclists and wrote a prescription for disaster: mandatory training for older riders and a scare campaign aimed at large motorcycles.And how did NBC balance the May 17th piece against the call for new mandates? By talking to dealers and riders who speak only for themselves and rely on best guess and anecdote. Had NBC bothered to talk to national advocates of motorcyclists? rights and safety, the network would have learned the truth:

The call to action:YOUR SAFETY IS ON THE LINE! CONGRESSMEN AND SENATORS WATCH NBC NEWS AND THEY ARE JUST AS LIKELY AS OTHER AMERICANS TO TAKE NHTSA-SPUN RAW DATA AS GOSPEL — UNLESS YOU ACT NOW.

1. Write to your congressman and U.S. senators and object to NHTSA lobbying the media about the dangers of motorcycling with ?raw data.? You can find email addresses for your members of Congress by entering http://thomas.loc.gov/ on your browser. You can also telephone your congressman and senators by calling the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at 202-224-3121. Phone calls are preferred.

2. Explain to your senators and congressman that the key to safety is the joint MRF/SMRO agenda: a resource injection to the states to satisfy the overwhelming need for voluntary training of motorcyclists — and the training of car and truck drivers with the first-ever national program of Motorist Awareness of Motorcycles.

3. Pick up the TELEPHONE and CALL the STATION MANAGER of your LOCAL NBC TELEVISION AFFILIATE. You can find the number of your local NBC affiliate under ?television stations? in your local Yellow Pages.

NEW SONNY BARGER BOOK PROJECT–Do you (or a friend or family member) have a thrilling or amusing biker story to share?

Sonny is writing his second book with the same co-authors as “Hell’s Angel” and it will include tales and adventures of other riders — club members and independents, celebrities and unknowns, bike builders, riders and fanatics, all the colorful characters that make up the biker lifestyle and culture.

Tell us your story by e-mail (200 words or less, please) before June 15. Be sure to include your name and phone number, so we can contact those with the best stories. In the book, names and events may be changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Help us show the rest of the world what “Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free” is all about.

Reply to this message or send to story@sonnybarger.com.

Myrtle Beach

TROUBLE IN PARADISE OR MYRTLE BEACH–While Myrtle Beach was in full swing, our East Coast correspondent was delivering the new and photographed such as above to Bikernet. Now this:If you disliked the closing of Ocean Boulevard northbound as much as I did,here is the e-mail address of Myrtle Beach City Manager ThomasLeath. He is the man who made this decision and said on TV that hehadn’t received any negative comments about it. I have already sent hima letter and hope each of you will as well and pass his name and addressto anyone who would care to complain.

Thomas Leath
tleath@cityofmyrtlebeach.com

–Debbie Swain/Rogue

RUMORS FROM MILWAUKEE– Some news passed on to me. Second hand but the source is good. Buell is testing an overhead cam air cooled engine M/C at the testing grounds in Yucca, Ariz. The rear shock is said to be in a more coventional position, more like the way the Buell Blast rear shock is mounted.

It was said that the motor is much faster. Harley is working closely with Ford and Cosworth. Don’t know if this engine design is directly from that combined effort or not.

Rumor was that 2002 models were to have a new engine. It may be 002 or 003, don’t know for sure. The new models will be shown at the dealer meeting in July /Aug. I guess time will tell.

–Mystery Man

TRUE STORY–While standing in line, waiting to give hisnote to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him writethenote and might call the police before he reached the teller window.Sohe left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors thathe wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhatdefeated, the man said “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


GAINS MADE AT ROAD ATLANTA AS REBUILDING SEASON PROGRESSES–Picotte Posts VR 1000’s Best Ever Finish at Road Atlanta; Smith Gets Up to Speed

BRASELTON, Ga. (May 21, 2001) – Racing in damp to drying conditions, Pascal Picotte gave Harley-Davidson’s VR 1000 its best ever finish at Road Atlanta with a 7th place on Saturday during the AMA Superbike doubleheader weekend. Teammate Mike Smith, who finished 12th Saturday after experiencing tire problems, nearly equaled Picotte’s mark in dry conditions Sunday, running competitive lap times and racing for 8th before crashing just before the final lap. Picotte suffered a mechanical failure on Sunday and did not finish.

“Although the second race didn’t turn out the way we would have liked, the weekend was another step in the right direction,” said Harley-Davidson’s Director of Racing John Baker. “A lot of development work is in progress and this weekend was about achieving specific improvements in suspension and handling. With an integrated effort the race team and engineering were able to achieve this result.”

Also over the weekend, Harley-Davidson VR 1000 privateer Jordan Szoke finished 13th on Saturday and 11th on Sunday racing for the Austin-Bleu Bayou H-D team.

The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 team will test at Road America in Elkhart Lake, Wis., this week and compete again June 8-10, when the AMA Superbike tour heads to Road America for another double-header weekend.

48 Panhead

ANTIQUE OF THE DAY IN THE CANTINA–Besides the babe of the day, the Cantina is graced with an antique of the day and a contact for buying antique bikes. We hope to have one hot antique deal weekly in the Cantina. Give it a shot. It’s growing like crazy. “I rode my 50EL over to the Dutchess Col Fairgrounds in Rhinebeck, N.Y.,yesterday for an antique show and swap meet.Thought you could use these for the antique of the day feature in theCantina. Knock yourself out with these. I got more if you need them,just please give me credit for the shots.

Thanks and enjoy,
Teddy Bear

Bike Show Winner

BIKE SHOW WINNERS FOR APRIL–Sorry about that. I just got back from the Keys. I forgot to e-mail you withthe list before I left. The Keys trip was insane. It’s the only word todescribe it. I just need to check myself into the looney bin and get it overwith. I still can’t believe it. Like something out of a movie. And I thoughtthis past winter’s adventures were too much. Not even close.

Here’s the list and picture.-JoAnn

In The “Competition” Category
Ray Devine
ST. LOUIS, Mo.

In The “Pro-Street” Category
Thad Cranford
Zachary, La.

In The “Radical Custom” Category
Clay Huckins
Lake Havasu City, Ariz.

In The “Ridden” Category
Jay McGuire
Indio, Calif.

In The “Sportster” Category
Shelly Robertson
Iowa Park, Texas

In The “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Jim Spaciel
Milwaukee, Wis.

In The “Vintage” Category
Teddy Bear Babolcsay
Elizaville, N.Y.

Each Winner received a signed book from Bandit, a T-shirt from JIMS Machine or Crime Inc., or a Crime Inc. wallet or a gift certificate from Samson Exhaust. Of course each winner also recieved one famous Bikernet Bike Show trophy.

HEY NOW–Check out the first-ever Blue Cafe Blues Festival info.!!!1st. Annual Blue Cafe Blues FestivalThe Fabulous Thunderbirdsheadline!!!

The Green on the Hill27th & Walnut, Signal Hill Ca.Sunday June 17th. FATHER’S DAY!!!sorry, forgot the date… and i’m a father!Don’t tell my son…

–vj

A TEXAN–a Californian, and an Oregonian are out riding horses. The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a long draught, then another and suddenly throws it into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the bottle in midair.

The Californian looks at him and says, “What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!”

The Texan says, “In Texas, there is plenty of whiskey and the bottles are cheap.”

A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Californian pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the champagne into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it in midair.

The Oregonian can’t believe his eyes, “What the heck did you do that for? That was a perfectly good bottle of champagne!”

The Californian says, “In California, we have plenty of champagne and bottles are cheap.”

So, awhile later, the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of Widmer Hefeweizen.He opens it, takes a sip, and then chugs the whole bottle. He then puts the bottle in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, and shoots the Californian.

The Texan, shocked, says, “Why the hell did you do that?!”

The Oregonian replies, “In Oregon, we have plenty of Californians and the bottles are worth a nickel.”

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Russ Tom's feature

NEW BIKERNET BIKE FEATURES–from the creator of the White Brothers Calendar series and the Calendar Show at The Queen Mary in Long Beach, Calif. Jim G. has been photographing some of the finest bikes in the world for over a decade, and now you’ll see them on Bikernet. He also shoots some of the hottest babes in the world and you can see them in the Cantina for $1.65 a month–Enjoy

Continued on Page 3

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May 24, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS–TWO WOMEN ATTACK HEADQUARTERS AT CRACK OF DAWN
I was minding my own business with one pretty little pussy in bed beside me when there was a clatter on the deck. We jumped to our feet, I got half dressed and headed for the front of the headquarters, grabbing weapons along the way. “What the hell,” I shouted as I rounded the corner to find lovely Layla and a familiar blonde on the doorstep staring each other down. Panic overcame me. I scrambled to lose the weapons and the pussy and find the rest of my clothes. We better get to the news. I may have to make an early departure for the mountains.

Bikernet Logo

NEW BIKERNET LOGO–Here’s a glimpse of the latest Jon Towle creation for new Bikernet stickers and banners. Actually, Jon has been too drunk to come up with something fresh so we went back to the logo from the book “Outlaw Justice.” He dusted the devil off, added color to the flames and we’re ready to rock. Under Bikernet.com will be the scintillating line, “Where the Party Begins and the Ride Never Ends.” I wish the party would end once in a while, it’s tough to write books when I’m ducking beer cans.

2ND ANNUAL BIKER RUN FOR KIDS– benefiting Childrens’s Hospital of OrangeCounty

When: June 24, 2001; registration sign-in 8 a.m. for a beautiful, scenic 75-mile ride down the coast and canyons.

Where: Sloppy Joe’s, 31 Fortune Drive, Irvine Spectrum, Irvine, Calif.

Participants: More than 3,000 riders, volunteers and spectators are expected.

Proceeds: All proceeds will benefit Children’s Hospital of Orange County (CHOC).Some facts about this event:All bikes and hot rods welcome; One stop of the ride will be at the hospital tomeet the children; live entertainment by one of the West Coast’s top bluesbands– **2000 lbs of Blues; music begins at 11:45 a.m. and goes till 4 p.m.Ride spokesperson is celebrity Mickey Jones from the TV series “Home Improvement.”Sponsors that have pledged to support this are: Samson, Arlen Ness, DannyGray. Each year, CHOC has more htan 100,000 inpatient and outpatient visits, withmore than half coming from families with little or no health insurance.manny_montanez@gmaccm.com or you can call me at949-622-9226.

Crazy Horse in the Keys

CRAZY HORSE RETURNS–This is the woman behind the Bikernet Bike Show. Except a couple of weeks ago, after attending Bike Week, she disappeared to the Florida Keys. A Bikernet spy located her, then we sent the Bikernet Pimp Squad to retrieve her and return her to her post. You know what I mean. We just added a new catagory to the show list. Buells are rapidly being performance customized so we opened the door for Buell customs to compete online.

HOLLISTER UPDATE–Mr.Bandit, the word is out! Bolado Park will be OPEN this year on the 4th ofJuly. Extra days of camping and events at the park. Besides the usual events, there will be bull dog boxing.

–Ride On!Wino

SURVIVOR, TEXAS STYLE– A major network is planning the show “Survivor 2″this winter. In response,Texas is planning “Survivor, Texas Style.”

The contestants will start in Dallas, travel throughWaco, Austin, SanAntonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville.They will proceed up toDel Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa,Lubbock and Amarillo. Fromthere, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worthand back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo, with a bumpersticker that reads “I’m gay,I voted for Al Gore and I’m here to confiscate yourguns.” The first one tomake it back to Dallas wins.

— Ssredhorse

We hope to publish Redhorse’s book on James Hood on Bikernet in the near future. That is, if Steve doesn’t get shot trying to write it.

Brenda on the Blue Flame

THE BLUE FLAME GRABS THE COVER OF HORSE–Actually, the lovely Brenda Fox (Yep, it’s her real name) will be featured in the September issue. “Here’s a bitchen shot of Brenda cruisin big time and hangin out da cleavage on da Blue Bandit bike-it should show up in the Sept/#17 issue as part of an interview with Brenda da Fox and her cwazy lifestyle,” said Geno the art director of the wild chopper rag, Horse.

Cyril's new engines

CYRIL HUZE DEBUTS HIS SIGNATURE SERIES ENGINES AT MYRTLE BEACH– Famed custom motorcycle builder Cyril Huze had the first showing of his custom Signature Series engines on display at the Myrtle Beach Bike Rally.

A polished 113 S&S based engine, 10.0:1 compression, Bob Wood cam shaft, blueprinted and assembled by Accurate Engineering, compression releases with Accurate Engineering compression release covers and matching head bolt covers, JIMS gearcase cover, JIMS chrome lifter blocks, Diamond Engineering stainless steel 12-point hardware with modifications for fitment by Accurate Engineering. Complete polish by Kevin Clenney, Cyril Huze Logos, machining, designing, assembly and running/tuning performed in-house by Accurate Engineering in coordination with Cyril Huze.

A Polished 100 cubic inch Evo/Pan3.8125 Bore – 4.375 Stroke.Blueprinted and assembled by Accurate Engineering, compression releases with Accurate Engineering covers and matching head bolt covers. Cyril Huze/Accurate Engineering five-finned gearcase cover, JIMS roller rockers, Mallory ignition, Schumaker/Accurate Engineering/Cyril Huze billet cylinders, J&E pistons, Speed-Pro rings, Xzotic Evo/Pan covers modified and polished by Accurate Engineering, oil filter adapter by Accurate Engineering, Diamond Engineering stainless steel 12-point hardware modified for fitment, polish and painting by Kevin Clenney. Cyril Huze logos, machining, designing, assembly and running/tuning performed in-house by Accurate Engineering in coordination with Cyril Huze.

–ROGUE

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One Piece Exhaust Pipes


Options in Harley exhaust pipes are as great as the chest of Anna Nicole Smith. You can buy and bolt-on. Years of stock layouts from Harley — plus a rich aftermarket — let you adapt and adopt styles ranging from ol’ time upsweep to drag to collector to shotgun. If you are stubborn like me you can even ignore all that. You can make ’em. It’s not as hard as it sounds, so stay with us.

Custom-made exhausts come two ways…


Photo 1

Photo 2

First, intricate designs with tight bends (photo 1), are best fabbed from small pieces of mandrel bent tubing. (For the full run down on this method, see Easyriders, May 1995, page 126). Some caveats: careful alignment, matching and welding of the pipe sections is crucial for a uniform look. And built up pipes contain weld bead that may eventually behave, or appear, differently than the rest of the tube when exposed to heat, corrosion, time.

The other route: pipes bent from a single piece of tubing (photo 2). You avoid joint and weld issues. This requires an engine/frame installation that can live with gentler bends — plus an experienced bending shop.

The key to success is to make a good pattern that the shop can match. Here’s how…

First obtain flexible automotive exhaust tubing (photo 3) — check large D-I-Y auto supplies, J.C. Whitney, etc. It’s easily bent by hand and cut with tin snips. Use the diameter you want your finish pipes in, and get plenty of extra length. It’s simple: bend and cut the pipes until they fit the installation to your liking. Pay particular care to a good concentric and perpendicular fit in the exhaust port, and any tight tolerances elsewhere. Remove them gingerly. Next use a utility brazing torch (photo 4) to immobilize the tubing by applying a path of molten braze down one side (photo 5). The result: a pair of pipe patterns (photo 6). It may take two or three tries. Sometimes, an additional jig assures the finish pipe matches the pattern at critical areas (photo 7).


Photo 3

Photo 4

Photo 5

Photo 6

Next is selection of pipe stock. One major choice: seamless, versus seamed (photo 8). Save a few bucks with seamed tubing. Make sure that, when the stock is bent, the seam is oriented inwards, towards the engine, to obscuring appearance differences.

Now, for materials: mild steel or stainless (photo 9)? Stainless, although initially more expensive, need not be chromed for a matte finish. It will also not conduct heat down as far along the pipe. But, it does heat-yellow more readily than chromed steel. One easy pick — you can save money and stay with mild alloys; chrome-moly, 4130 or shelby tubing is unnecessary for this non structural application.


Photo 7

Photo 8

Photo 9

Photo 10

Next, perform any machining operations that require the tubing to be rotated in a lathe or metal spinner (photo 10) — like antireversion necking or flanging to fit the exhaust port (photo 11). Some can also be handled later.


Photo 11

Photo 12

Onto the pipe bender. Look for modern mandrel bending machines (photo 12) that can also handle bending in more than one plane (photo 13). A special casting metal (that melts at boiling water temperature) can hold earlier-bent sections securely in the machine. Also if needed, inquire about tube flanging or crimping (photo 14). By the way, I have seen pipes successfully bent without expensive equipment. Old masters pack them tightly with sand, plug with threaded caps (later cut off), apply heat liberally, and carefully coax in an old-time conduit or plumber’s rig.


Photo 13

Photo 14

Once the bender’s done, fit the pipes and consider mounting methods. It may be necessary to rotate each tube slightly to get the optimum appearing alignment. Since my tubes were stainless, they ran cool enough about two-feet from the port to allow the adel clamps (photo 15). Metal strap clamps give similar rotational flexibility.

Next, fab exhaust port connections (photo 16). It is still possible to braze on an adapter sleeve (photo 17) to match the port or to fix misalignment.


Photo 15

Photo 16

Photo 17

Photo 18

Finally, consider your neighbors. Slip-in baffles (photo 18) reduce noise simply and effectively. Longer baffles (photo 19) are more efficient. Look for straight through, glass pack design rather than a perforated block-off (photo 20). If your local gendarmes are prone to night sticking suspicious pipes, throw in a little steel mesh for insurance!


Photo 19

Photo 20

— Jake

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Fasteners 101


Let’s get right down to the basics. The most important group, ofitems, that hold your whole scooter together is fasteners. Nuts andbolts can be very confusing to the novice. The concept of assemblingcomponents held together with socket-head, button-heads, Torx-head,setscrews, elastic lock nuts (Nylocks), flex-nuts, 12 points and capscrews could become a mind-boggling choice. Add to these decisionsthe variations of sizes, SAE, metric, grades, finishes and materialsand the task to choose the proper fastener can become daunting. I’lltry to cut through the minutiae here so you won’t be forced into a4-year engineering degree to understand what type fasteners areappropriate for your motorcycle.

When it comes to hardware, size does matter. Whether you arebuilding a bike from scratch or just replacing some cadmium plated,dull-looking bolts on your Harley for polished chrome ones, Youshould understand how bolts are sized, along with the proper termsfor the different applications and styles.

Here in the USA we use standard types of fasteners, wrenches andtools to install these fasteners. The Society of AutomotiveEngineers, SAE for short, developed these standards early in the lastcentury, so we Americans who use fractions of inches, instead oftenths-of-meters, would all have a common structure to base ourhardware sizes.

Bolts_A,B.jpg_24

This shot shows bolts with coarse and fine threads from left toright.

One of the most common fasteners on your Harley is a 1/4×20 socketcap screw. Now be truthful. Can you go out to your bike right now andpoint out just one 1/4×20 cap screw? Don’t feel bad. There’s a largecross section of guys who can’t point one out either, and some workon bikes everyday. To understand bolt sizes you’ll need is a basicunderstanding of fractions and inches. Experience, working withsockets, wrenches and fasteners helps a lot.

Bolts are described by the diameter of the shaft, or shank, andthe number of threads per inch. So a 1/4×20 socket head cap screw orcommonly referred to as an Allen bolt, is 1/4 of an inch in diameterand has 20 threads per inch. All you need is the length of thefastener or how deep it goes into the material for the finaldimension, i.e. 1/4x20x1-inch is one inch long. If a bolt is tooshort for your application, you won’t have enough thread engagementto properly hold your bike together. Sometimes, if a bolt is toolong, it will “bottom out” and not become tight. It may alsointerfere with other components.

The number of threads-per-inch determines the difference between”Fine” and “Coarse” threads. Both have advantages when chosenproperly. On your American bike there are typical uses for coarse vs.fine threaded fasteners. There are exceptions to these rules, justlike in the English language, but in general, coarse threaded boltsare used to fasten a solid piece, billet or casting. Fine threadedbolts are coupled with nuts on the backside of the pieces. The coarsethreaded fastener has more “meat” between the threads to grip betterin cast materials while the fine thread has more surface area so youcan maintain a higher torque value (tightness) on a forged orhardened nut.

Let’s shift back to our 1/4×20 example. That’s a coarse threadfastener. If you wanted a fine threaded fastener that is a 1/4-in.diameter you would ask for a 1/4×28. Which means it has 8 morethreads per inch than the coarse threaded 1/4×20. This holds truefor all basic sizes of SAE fasteners. For example 5/16×18 is coarsethreaded while 5/16×24 is fine threaded, 3/8×16 is coarse while3/8×24 is fine threaded and so on. Got it now?

Bolts_C,D,E,F.jpg_23

Running from left to right again, the first bolt is a flatheadcap screw. The second a socket cap screw. The third is as buttonheadcap screw, and finally, the last, a hex cap screw.

Bolts are also graded, designating how “hard” they are. Maybeyou’ve heard of a “Grade 8” fasteners and wondered what that was allabout. Well, wonder no more. Everything has trade-offs and boltsare no exception. The “harder” bolt you choose, the higher the gradenumber, and the more brittle or “less shear resistant” it becomes.Just because you are using a higher grade, or harder bolt, it mightnot be the appropriate fastener.

Think of bolts as plastic. If you have a softer plastic rod, itwill flex, stretch and bend. If you have a brittle or hard plasticrod, you can pull on it and it won’t stretch or break, but if you putside tension on the hard rod, it will snap with very little effort.These two characteristics are important to remember when choosing abolt. The standard scale of bolt hardness ranges from Grade-2 (soft)to Grade-12 (hard), but a grade 8 is about as hard as you’ll find ona Harley. Make sure you are using the same grade washer as thefastener. If you use a lower grade washer (softer) it will “give” ordeform in time resulting in a loose bolt.

On a standard “Hex-Cap” or bolt with 6 sides on top, kind ofshaped like a stop sign (only different), you’ll see markings on thehead, cap, or top of the fastener. They indicate what grade the boltis. Most of the bolts you will be using on your motorcycle will beeither a grade 5, which will have 3 slash marks on the top, or agrade 8 which will have 5 slash marks cast into the top. Don’t askme why the SAE decided to mark them this way (probably just toconfuse the uninformed).

Other types of fasteners are not marked clearly, so it isimportant to purchase your fasteners from a reputable dealer.Cheaper fasteners are not hardened the same, or might not have thequality to stake your life on. Can you say “imported”? Beware. Theprocess used to add “tensile strength” or to “harden” fasteners addsto the cost. The harder the bolt the more expensive it becomes. Mostof the inexpensive standard hardware at the “Home Improvement” storesare unmarked are grade 2, which are very soft and flexible. They arefine for holding lumber together, but not what you want on your dailyride.

The head or cap of a fastener also determines its style.Different head styles are chosen for ease of installation,accessibility and the ability to take torque or tightness. The mostcommon fastener is a “Hex-Cap” screw. These are the six-sidedstandard looking bolts that you use a box wrench to tighten.Twelve-Point screws are very similar to a hex cap except they havetwice as many points and you’ll need a 12-point sockets or boxwrenches to tighten them. 12- points are commonly used to attachyour lifter-blocks and head bolts on a Big-Twin engine, becausegenerally you can apply a higher torque value to a 12-point fastener.

Socket Cap Screws or Allen head bolts are used all over Americanbikes. They have a cylindrical rod shaped head with a recessed hexin the top (which has six sides) You insert an Allen style wrench init for operation.

Torx head bolts are found on many new Harleys and have a roundedcap with a modified star shaped recessed in the cap for a toolsimilar to an Allen wrench but with more surface area to allow formore torque without stripping the head. A Torx bolt is nearly theopposite of a 12-point cap screw. Torx bolts are also used forquicker assembly in manufacturing situations. They are easy to graspand more stable on the end of the tool installing them, which makesfor a faster installation. They are also well suited for pneumatic(air) tool installation.

Button-Head bolts have a rounded cap top, which also has ahex Allen style socket or a Torx drive socket. Button-Heads are verycosmetically appealing especially when chromed, but do not take wellto higher torque values without stripping out.

Finally, a Flat-Head bolt has a cone under the head, whichrecesses flat into the surface that it mates to. Flat heads are alsocommonly called counter-sunk Allens. Flatheads also use an Allen(trade name) wrench to tighten them. NOTE: The Allen in thedescription of the fastener is describing the tool used to tightenthe bolt, not the style of fastener. There are tons of differentALLEN bolts, to use the commonly misused term. So it’s important tounderstand the difference and the vernacular to select the properfastener.

Bolts_G,H.jpg_22

Now for the tough ones, because it means new tools. One theleft is the Torx cap screw and right, the 12-point cap screw.

Now, the shiny part. Everybody likes chromed bolts. The guys atthe factory in Milwaukee would rather save a couple of cents perfastener, the time it takes for plating and the problems in dealingwith plated fasteners and use cadmium or galvanized bolts just toprevent rust. High quality chrome fasteners are available to replaceyour dull looking ones on your factory machine. One of the topquality US suppliers of chromed and polished hardware isGardner-Wescott, . They have been inthe business of making chromed fasteners for your Harley or Hot-Rodfor decades and have a huge variety of domestic high-qualityfasteners for your appropriate customizing needs.

Chrome is a durable finish until it is exposed to excessivemoisture or salt. If you live by the ocean or in areas where theysalt the roads, you may want to consider stainless steel fastenersthat are polished. Or you might just want to move somewhere moreconducive to custom bikes. The choice is yours. Polishedstainless-steel fasteners are almost (the key word “almost”) asattractive as their chromed steel counterparts. Stainless steel isgenerally a stronger fastener and will not show rust but will dull astime and oxidation takes their toll. The process is much slower thana chromed bolt in a damp salty environment.

Chromed bolts will perform and look great here in the drySouthwest, which is also a great place to live. If you take yourstandard cadmium plated fasteners to your local bumper shop to getthem chrome plated, it usually costs more than just replacing themwith new production-chromed fasteners. If the plating process is nothandled correctly, it may change the hardness characteristic of yourfasteners. In addition poor plating will hinder tool fitment, ormight chip off the fastener during use. The final point that alsobears consideration, when using chromed or stainless-steel fasteners,is the appropriate use of Anti-Seize to avoid galling and binding ofthe bolts when tightening (see Permatex Loctite tech) which mayresult in the use of foul language and tool throwing.

If you are still a little confused and want to replace some ofyour hardware on your bike with chrome fasteners, pull the suckersand take them to a reputable shop such as Surgical-Steeds (moreshameless self promotion). By bringing in your old hardware, as anexample piece, you’ll take the guesswork out of getting the correctfastener and size. If you’re planning on building a bike fromscratch, hopefully I’ve helped you make informed decision on whattype of bolts to choose for your project. Regardless, it’s veryimportant to choose the right fastener and have it installed properlyto insure a safe, good looking ride for the long haul.

Gardner-Wescott sells a variety of fastener sets as wellas sets for engines, drivelines and wheels. If you can get the rightgroup for your project, it takes the constant trips to the store outof the equation.

Remember, keep the rubber side down.
John at Steeds
www.surgicalsteeds.com

Back to the Surgical Steeds

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The Fork Stops Here

These stainless steel fork stops have internal stops and were designed to eliminate the typical problems encountered with other fork stop systems. External stops are unsightly and tend to damage paint and chrome. Some internal stops shear screws and pins but these cups, built by Milwaukee Iron in Lynchburg, Virginia, were designed to avoid all of these problems. They allow you to clean up the looks of your motorcycle in an area that has long needed attention.

This two-piece fork stop set was made from 303 stainless, polished steel, polished, and will fit factory necks. The stop fit Big Twins 82-up FXR, 89-up Softails and Dyna necks and most custom frames on today’s market. They also fit a variety of other triple tree kits. Milwaukee Iron’s stops even fit springer front ends. The stock turning radius is 45 degrees. They also offer a 35-degree turning radius where applicable. The 5-3/32-inch roll dowel pins ensure that the stop will not turn the neck. The 4-3/16-inch dowel pins (which are held down by the neck of the bearing), hold the lock plate in place, allowing use of the stock neck stems.

To install the stop, you will need the following: a hand drill, a 3/32-inch and 3/16-inch drill bit, scribe, a straightedge (or ruler), a drift punch and a clamp.

After removing the front end on your motorcycle, align a straight edge between the frame tubes and across the bottom of the neck. Mark a straight line across the neck. Insert the bottom plate into the frame, align the plate with your straight edge. If satisfied with the position, drill through the plate. Drill only 3/8-inch into the neck and then install the five 3/32-inch roll pins. If using a Milwaukee Iron tree set, your bottom tree is pre-drilled for the locking plate; otherwise, you will need to align the locking plate to the proper position and drill 3/16-inch diameter 5/16-inch deep. Finally, install the four 3/16-inch dowel pins. Reassemble your front end and you’ll be ready to ride.

Milwaukee Iron makes two styles of lock plates. One is a 90-degree (45 degrees each way) turn (stop-to-stop) for use with tube front ends. The other is a 70-degree (35-degrees each way) turn (stop-to-stop) for use with springer front ends. Other degree turns can be made upon request.

Milwaukee Iron also offers a pre-drilled adapting plate which can be welded to some front ends (most springers).

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Fork Tube Dimensions


Readers often ask about fork tube specifications. There are somany we’ve been in search of standard information to help buildersunderstand what the hell they’re working with. This information camefrom Rick Whitehead of Custom Cycle Engineering. As you will seebelow, they make and chrome any size you need.

cce chart

“For over 30 years we have manufactured extension fork tubes. Westart with DOM 1026 steel tubing thatis ordered specially from a tubing mill,” Rick explained. “Then wecenterless grind the outside diameter to OEM specifications andmachine the rest of the tube to exact ID specs. We buff the materialto a mirror finish and chrome plate the final product to a showchrome finish. This is a product that we are very familiar with, pluswe cover every Harley-Davidson fork tube model all the way back to 1949.” CCE maintains alarge inventory and offer sizes from 4 inches understock FL to 20 inches over stock FL.

“When ordering please specifymodel and year,” Rick pointed out. Hope this helps when trying tofigure out how long the tubes need to be, for your next project.

–Bandit

cce tube dimensions

customecycle eng.

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Handlebars–A Pain In The Ass


 Yeah, right, there once was a time when changing handlebars meant taking off the throttle, the grip on the left side, and one mirror, replacing the bars and bolting the other shit back on. Ah, but that was 5,000 years ago. Now replacing a set of bars is worse than replacing a piston in the snow with a pair of pliers.

So we went to a man who builds limited edition, very specialized handlebars. Initially, I suspected that he knew little about anything, yet something about drinking Jack without training wheels, neat, or straight up, told me he knew whiskey and women. 
 

Sorta like I did when I stood around a campfire all night with a fifth tightly clutched in one hand—it impressed me.

The more we spoke to Chris Hill, the designer behind the strangest set of bars in this whirling galaxy, the more he seemed to know, so we picked his whiskey-soaked brain (photo 1).

 
Photo 1

 Ah, but before we launch into the technical jargon, these bars have risers. Billet cut out of ASTM-A36 steel, they weigh in at 10.5 pounds and the tubing aspect of the bars is made from .083 wall material, which is thicker than factory bars. Chris claims it’s the strongest bar on the market, and if you get up close to these slotted puppies, you’ll agree. The centers are knurled, and the handles angled at 20 degrees for comfort. Then the bastards are Tig welded by a certified welder. Three models are currently being made: the Hillbar for extended frames, or stock bikes with short riders. Four slots adorn the rails with a built-in 10-inch stretch. The Outlaw- bar has three windows in the uprights with a 7-inch pullback for more aggressive riders, and The Chopper Bar with the 10-inch rise, is built to be stood up like apehangers instead of pulled back like the other two models. Mr. Hill specifically built these puppies 31 inches wide because most apartment doors are not wider than 32 inches. Makes it easy to pull your putt into the girlfriend’s condo or motel room.
 

Oh, by the way, that’s Lexi (Photo 2). I’d rather devote the entire next week writing about her, but that’s not what Bandit pays me for, and I couldn’t take her out if I didn’t get paid, so I’ll shut up and write.       
Photo2

First, and foremost take the fuckin’ leads off the battery. It can be startling and harmful to create a short in the middle of this process. For Softails, remove the tanks to retrieve the multi-pin receptacle, disconnect and remove the individual pins from the connector, but note the placement. Remove your electrical controls and switches with Allen or Torxs wrenches. Undo the factory clips and remove the wires from the bars. Remove the loom from the wiring harness carefully with a sharp knife or razor blade. Now, measure the wiring. This length varies on some models, for instance: Dyna wide glides have 10-inch factory apes so that wiring harness is longer than most.  To put this aspect of the bike together properly, buy a wiring extension kit from Custom Chrome. Chris recommends soldering the wire and not using crimp lugs. I was in agreement with his thinking also, however a new twist has emerged. I spoke to Giggie from Compu-Fire recently about wiring and he prefers the lugs as long as you use a special crimper that does the job right. He explained that when soldering, the molten metal flows under the insulation and makes the wire rigid. With constant vibration the wire can break. 
 

The key is to ensure the best and longest lasting connections. 

Measure your wires, connect them, and check for shorts. De-burr the bars with a file (photo 3), even run something through the bars, like a piece of string to check for sharp edges or abrasions. 

 
Photo 3

Now tape the wires to the end of the string and pull them through. Install controls and check for shorts or bad connections before you light this sucker up (photo 4). 

Use an Ohm meter. Install the bars loosely and check for gas tank clearance. 

 
Photo 4

 This is very important. There’s nothing like installing a new goodie, only to have it harm an old one.  You’re getting close now. So pre-adjust the bars and install the controls. Make sure nothing binds, the cables are long enough, and check the switches again for proper operations, no shorts. Shrink wrap the wire exiting the center tube on the handlebar for a clean look and protection against abrasion. Make sure you sit on the bike and determine the best position for the bars and all the controls before you put the wrenches to her. Now replace the wire plates on the bars and tighten ’em down with blue Loctite (photo 5).

Photo5

Put the gas tank on permanently, hook up the battery, and go for a ride.  Wait, wait, I forgot the cables. Obviously, if you’ve change the position of the bars the cables may need to be replaced. Check it out, before you make that turn and the engine revs!

 Ultimately Mr. Hill plans to build several variations of the Hillbars to include two to five slots and perhaps a 16-inch ape-like arrangement, if he gets enough complaints, I mean requests.
 If you have any doubts about this operation, get a trained professional to do it for you. Believe me, handlebars with all the fuckin’ wires, cables, hoses, switches and such are as complicated to install as a piston in the snow with just a pair of pliers—oops—I said that already. Now, I gotta go. If I’m ever to have a chance to go out with lovely Lexi, I’ve got to take a shower at least once this week. ‘Course, if Bandit finds out, he’ll cut my pay to make it tougher on me. I’ll find a way.

—Wrench
 

Back to theGarage….
 

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May 17, 2001 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THREE STAFF MEMBERS KIDNAPPED BY CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIP (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 1

A COP PULLS A GUY OVER–for speeding and asked, “May I seeyour driver’s license?”

The driver answered, “I don’t have one. I had itsuspended when I got my 5th DUI.”

The officer asked, “May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?”

Thedriver answered, It’s not my car. I stole it.”

The officer asked, “Thecar is stolen?”

The driver answered, “That’s right. But come to thinkof it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I wasputting my gun in there.”

The officer asked, “There’s a gun in the glove box?”

The driveranswered, “Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed thewoman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.”

The officer asked, “There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?”

The driveranswered, “Yes, sir.”

Hearing this, the officer immediately called hiscaptain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captainapproached the driver to handle the tense situation. The Captain asked, “Sir, can I see your license?” The driver answered,

“Sure. Here it is.” It was valid.

The Captain asked, “Who’s car is this?”

The driver answered, “It’s mine,officer. Here’s the owner’ card.” The driver owned the car.

The Captain asked, “Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see ifthere’s a gun in it?”

The driver answered, “Yes, sir, but there’s nogun in it.” Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

The Captain asked, “Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told yousaid there’s a body in it.”

The driver answered, “No problem.”Trunk is opened; no body.

The Captain said, “I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped yousaid you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gunin the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.”

Thedriver answered, Yeah, I’ll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I wasspeeding, too!”

–Needlin’ Dan

“To do good things for people is the rent that we pay for living onearth.” – Mohammed Ali

Horse Girl

HOTTIE FROM HORSE–Here’s a teaser for an issue to come of the famous outlaw, chopper rag HORSE. Watch for it, and check the current issue.

Damn, they need to change that name. I can’t tell anyone about this rag without explaining the title. The last guy I mentioned it to asked if the rag was about heroin.

GET INVOLVED WITH BIKERS’ RIGHTS– Our culture is under attack by legislators in every state. If we don’t get involved in politics soon, motorcycling will eventually go the way of the horse & buggy. Don’t believe me? How many of you would ride with a big day-glow orange suit on, if it was law? How many would not mind the huge reflectors on your back and chest, or the mufflers on your bike that are the size of stack on a Mack truck? What about the seat belts they keep trying to introduce, or helmet laws?

You see, there are many ways to skin a cat, and devious lawmakers will stoop to any depth to achieve their goals. Most of our elected lawmakers don?t even drive themselves around anymore, let alone ride motorcycles. The thought of a noisy motorcycle passing their limousine in traffic makes them cringe.

Protect your rights. Vote! in local, state, and national elections. Vote for reformers, people that vow to protect and preserve the Constitution, as it was written.

Make use of lobbyists to take our issues to the politicians. A lobbyist can get an aud ience with a legislator and push our issues. When a politician backs our issues, we back him with votes. Politicians only cater to big blocks of voters, If you represent a minority of voters, forget it, your cause isn?t getting the attention it deserves.

The ball’s in your court. You can get busy, or lie down and die as a culture. The choice is yours.

–Rusty AFFA

Laughlin poster--John

JOHN SIEBENTHALER IS A GOD– Yes, if it weren’t for the mastermind, we would be nothing. This is a perfect example. We sent him a scan of the above print and below is the masterpiece poster he created for the bus stop in Laughlin. We’re trying to keep him happy so he’ll keep us on the map with his boundless talent. If you’d like to have this caliber of artistic ability shoving your company to the forefront of the industry, give him a call: (727) 397-5087

19TH ANNUAL DICE THROW RUN, MAY, 5, 2001– Tacoma Chapter ABATE’s 19th Annual Dice Throw Run was an enjoyable 130 mile ride around the scenic South Sound area. Ninety seven riders rolled the dice at six check points to determine who would win the 5 handmade wood dice trophies.

It was a beautiful warm day with spring “bustin’ out all over”, views of mountains and water at every turn, and the comradrie of almost a hundred scooter enthusiasts celebrating life and brotherhood. Over $800 was raised for the Child Guidance Association summer camp for behaviorally challenged children.

Having fun and benefiting the community – does it get any better than this?

–Mailman
WA ABATE member 1674
Dice Throw Run Coordinator
Tacoma, WA

Beach ride poster

BEACH RIDE LOOMING AHEAD JULY 15–Larry Hagman’s the Grand Marshall and there will be a number of celebrities attending including John Belushi (we hope). Edgar Winter will even assist with the auction of two celebrity signed guitars before he rocks the park.

The Kick-off party is scheduled to coincide with Bartels’ Custom Bike Show at the Dealership in Marina Del Rey, California, June 24th. Check in is 9:00 a.m.

I’m running the bike show the day of the Beach Ride, so bring ’em on. Get ’em out, polish ’em up and show ’em off. If you’re in the industry and inclined to sponsor the Trophies for the bike show, get ready to write a check and e-mail me at Bandit@Bikernet.com.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Oh well, life ain’t too bad. We have another Miss Universe, TitoTrinidad our world class boxer beat the crap out of Joppy, and Summer isalmost here. Sturgis is a couple months away and many more states arefighting their right to ride helmet free.

The choppers are taking shapelittle by little, and the struts are on the softail as of now. Hell if itkeeps going like this we might get an Easyriders shoot, or get invited tojoin the Hamsters…. Check out the West Coast Chopper bike before takingit apart for paint. That bike will soon be done and hopefully featured herein Bikernet.com

I don’t know about you guys (and gals) but building a bike is almost morefun than actually riding, when everything clicks together, even when afender fits without tons of labor, that’s pretty cool, like we installedthis rigid flat fender on a sporty rigid frame with a sissybar and wham !It fit first try and looked good enough to tack weld the bungs, thatspretty good. Anyway since there are not that many news this week, Besidesthat our local Harley Davidson dealer, Motorsport, moved into a bigger andbetter space.

Oh well time to get back to the shop and do some more grinding andwelding, sell some parts and hear the same, never-ending stories. Maybetomorrow we won’t get those tropical afternoon showers and might hit thecobblestones once more……After all the years still love that rumblingsound echoing on the 500 year old buildings in the Old San Juan City.

-Jose

To: “Keith R. Ball”
Subject: RE: Help!!
Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 22:01:52 -0700
X-Priority: 3 (Normal)
Importance: Normal

Thank you, I have been searching the web a lot, no luck. – Joe

LOOKIN’ FOR LEE MARVIN SHOT–That’s it. I’m looking for a black and white publicity shot of Lee Marvin in “The Wild One.” Any help would be most appreciated.

–“HRF”

IDIOT AWARD FOR THE WEEK– Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfielddecided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful ingetting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on theriver, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them.Itturned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locatorbeaconwhich activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longeremployed at Boeing.

Here’s your sign guys. Don’t get it wet, the paint might run.

Goofy Desk shot

Shot of Bandit and John Buttera receiving his office chopper desk. Bandit lost it when John told him that he was paying for it with old nuts and washers.

MICHAEL LICHTER’S PHOTOGRAPH EXIBITION AT THE JOURNEY MUSEUM IN RAPID CITY– April 4, 2001.If more information is needed for your organization or publication, please contact Michael Lichter (Tel: 303 449-3906, email mike@lichterphoto.com) or Sharon Martin at the Journey Museum (Tel: 605 394-6923, email: smartin@journeymuseum.org)

“Biker Generation” at The Journey Museum will containPhotographs by Michael Lichter with custom bikes by Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James, Fred Kodlin, Billy Lane, Bob McKay, Jim Nasi, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Ron Simms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffe.

The Journey Museum in Rapid City, South Dakota will be hosting a photography exhibition by Michael Lichter titled “Biker Generation” The images, which include many of Michael’s best known works from twenty years of photographing the biker lifestyle, will be on display from August 4 through September 3, 2001. Thirteen of the finest custom motorcycles by some of the most famous bike builders in the world will be on display with the photographs in the gallery as well as in the museum atrium from August 4 through August 11, 2001.

An opening reception that Michael Lichter and most of the participating builders will be present at is scheduled for Tuesday, August 7th from 4 – 8pm.

Also featured will be one of Bandit’s Office Choppers, a scooter desk for the rider who can’t leave the highway behind. The above shot depicts Bandit’s most recent creation with the new owner John Buttera. Don’t miss the exhibit.

TIME’S A WASTIN’–There are times in your life when necessity calls for impenetrable inner strength. Popeye called on spinach for the drive to cast him from the hands of evil. As it turns out, Layla’s great grandfather was a fisherman off the coast of Santa Monica. He was a charismatic pipe smoker and noted fisherman who helped save the harbor from over net-fishing. He was also a good friend of the artist who created the legendary Popeye cartoon. The artist created the character after Layla’s grandfather.

Yeah, so what. Well, we were incarcerated on this ship when my cell phone jiggled in my pocket. Even surrounded by slabs of steel hull, the message got through. A woman needed me, and needed me bad. Disguised as travel agents on a tour of the ship, we escaped to keep the party alive. Thank the gods of chrome, the sun is still out and we’re free once more–let’s ride.–Bandit

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May 17, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THREE STAFF MEMBERS KIDNAPPED BY CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIP
The neighbors called the cops on us last night. It was just an innocent party–Karl had flown in from Phoenix for fire department union negotiations and Steve, the bum for Orange County, rode his rattle-trap Softail into the headquarters. It makes louder noise from the valve train than most drag pipes. We thought we had the girls under control, but one got to a phone and made a call.

Just after 4 a.m., 30 guys broke into the headquarters wielding batons, shackles and chains. We put up a helluva fight, but they drug us out of bed, shackled us together and threw us in the back of a stake-bed truck, then tossed a moldy sea-smelling canvas over us. We woke up in the engine room of Carnival Cruise’s new luxury ship, Spirit. It seems they were low on help and the San Pedro police wanted to rid the community of three bikers. The fuckin’ ship has 10 stories of lavish banquet rooms, bars, nightclubs, casinos and staterooms. The mere sight of all the gold, bronze and chrome plate over withering snakes carpeting was enough to make us sea sick as we were whipped and tied to railings to polish the brass.

It was a night from seedy Las Vegas casino hell. We better get to the news.

JIMS Banner

CHECK JIMS’ CONTESTS Check the new products from JIMS and while you’re at it, they’re giving shit away. Not just T-shirts, but complete twin cam stroker kits.

JIMS makes some of the finest performance components in the industry. Hell, they’re making the Screamin’ Eagle performance kits for Twin Cams for Harley-Davidson. Check it out.

REPORT FROM CRUISING RIDER READER– I hope this reaches the editor at Cruising Rider: I just received the new copy of Cruising Rider and what did I find? An article by K. Randall Ball.

As a long time biker and reader of Easyriders, I can tell you that since Bandit left, in my opinion, things have gone down hill. Anyone who is familiar with Bandit knows that he represents the true biker lifestyle. Sure, that lifestyle may not exist for most of us or may not even exit at all.

Brotherhood, bikers watching out for each other, being in the wind and riding, not because of what someone else thinks, but because that is where you belong.

If you are not familiar with K. Randall Ball, listen to the man. Then you too will know what being a biker is all about.

–Charles

If you listen to me, you’ll be divorced, out of a job and on the run. Maybe that’s not all bad–Bandit

DEAR ABBY– My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issues.

He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught, he denies it all, then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don’t know what to do.

Signed: ????Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: Why don’t you move to New York and run for the Senate?

Sexual questions, problems with the Ol’ lady or man? We have our own Abby, ‘cept she goes by the name Lawless and she’s featured in the Cantina–Check her out.

Chopperscycle

BIKERNET ONLINE BIKE SHOPS– We have two on-line bike shops on Bikernet. One is in the garage and this one is the new kid on the block with the entire Custom Chrome and Chrome Specialties Catalogs on line.

Both shops allow you to order the parts you need without taking time off work, waiting for the weekend, or driving across town. Both shops are reputable, but we want you to report in when you start to order on line.

BUSINESS CARDS?– ?That implies we are actually doing business. ?That puts usin league with Lee Ioccoca, etc. ?Well, I’ve been addressed in manyways…..Hey, Asshole (a not uncommon phrase tossed at me), His Holinesswould be apt but not generally believable, Beallzebub the Omnipotent has anice ring but I don’t have the uniform, as I said yesterday, my army(desperate fun, hedonistic diversions, mind-numbing drugs, soul-numbingalcohol, and the delightful digressions of Cholon’s [Saigon’s Chinesesection] seedier “Steam n’ Cream” parlors)experience and frequent referenceto Heller’s Catch 22…gives rise to the dichotomic title of Moral Officer(we should always celebrate the soul cleansing rites of immorality and’situational ethics’). ?Yup, I think I can live with that ?Dr. Ladd “NuttBoy”Terry, Moral Officer. ?Can they get all that on a card? ?????????????????

–Dr. Nuttboy

Get us off this ship, and you can be the President. Oops I gotta get back to the swabbin’ and shit.

FIRST-EVER SHRINERS HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN MOTORCYCLE RUN–Los Angeles to Santa Barbara to Los Angeles,Sunday May 20th, 2001.Proceeds benefit the Shriners Hospital for Children–8:15 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. – Registration at Southern California Lodge No. 529,F.&A.M., 7726 Manchester Ave., Playa Del Rey, CA 90293 (near the corner ofSaran and Manchester)

9:00 a.m. Leave

12:00 p.m.: B.B.Q. lunch in Santa Barbara

12:30 p.m.: Blues entertainment

3:30 p.m.: Return to Los Angeles

Donation is $35.00 each, which includes lunch, commemorative T-shirt, adonation in the rider’s name to Shriners Hospital for Children. Passengersride for a $20.00 donation (includes lunch, entertainment and donation).Non-rider donations accepted.For more info contact: (310) 710-4767.

–Tim Conners

Taco Thursday

MOVING GIF–New technology is constantly coming to bikernet. Well here it is, my first moving gif. I could improve the exposure and the rotation by making adjustments prior to editing the scan, but I’m pretty happy with it considering I slapped it – together.

hmmm it’s Thursday already …Helen Wolfe

FIGHTING BACK–This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the “don’t buy gas on acertain day” campaign that was going around last April or May!The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew wewouldn’t continue to “hurt” ourselves by refusing to buy gas. Itwas more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem forthem. ??BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with aplan that can really work. ??Please read it and join with us!

By now you’re probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50is super cheap. Me too! ??It is currently $1.97 for regular unleadedin my town. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nationshave conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas isCHEAP at $1.50- $1.75, we need to take aggressive actionto teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace….not sellers.

Since we all rely on our cars, we can’t just stop buying gas. ??But weCAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force aprice war.

For the rest of this year, DON’T purchase ANY gasoline from the twobiggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. ??If theyare not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices.If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to followsuit.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon andMobil gas buyers. It’s really simple to do!! ?Now, don’t whimp outon me at this point…keep reading and I’ll explain how simple it isto reach millions of people!!

I am sending this note to about thirty people. ??If each of you send itto at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) … and those 300 send it to at leasttenmore (300 x 10 = 3,000) … and so on, by the time the message reachesthe sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLIONconsumers!

–“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth

New Bikernet logo

NEW BIKERNET STICKER–We’re always up to no good. Here’s Jon Towle’s latest bizarre notion of what Bikernet is all about. Actually, it’s not new. It was originally drawn for the book “Outlaw Justice,” but Jon is making modifications. Let us know what you think.

CANADIAN BIKER ON-LINE NEWSLETTER– Canadian Biker On-line NewsletterFrom the desktop of Len Creed

Well, it’s been a month since the last newsletter-that’s not because therehasn’t been any news, it’s just that I’ve been very busy lately with anumber of time-consuming special projects, including the organization of myCross-Canada Ride, our first-ever Friday The 13th Ride, and planning ourcorporate sponsorship of Canadian events such as Sportbike West, staged inKelowna at the end of August. There’s been a lot going on here at CanadianBiker, besides keeping our magazine a number one priority.Perhaps one of our most challenging and technically-complex projects hasbeen to successfully bring our internet site “in-house” by becoming our ownserver. It’s been a learning curve, but over the next month you’ll see justhow big we are getting into the wired world!For now, check our a few of the features below.

Winter Heat– Coleslaw wrestling, superbike racing, tattoos, custom bikes, new bikes,vintage bikes, and 600,000 wild guys and girls partying on Main Street.If it’s March we must be in Daytona. Canadian Biker contributor TomGrenon packed his cameras recently and traveled to Floridahttp://canadianbiker.com/features/places/winterheat171.html

Little Guy, with Big Shoulders– Story by John Campbell.Amid the rush to produce bikes with garbage can-size jugs, middleweightcruisers like Yamaha’s V-Star 650 are nearly in danger of beingforgotten. http://canadianbiker.com/features/reviews/shoulders171.html

New Features in the latest issue of Canadian Biker Magazine andCanada’s Largest Motorcycle Online Site http://www.canadianbiker.com

HEADACHE REMEDY–A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, “I have a headache.”

“Perfect” her husband said. “I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it’s up to you.”

Jim's Show

BIKERNET SPONSORS CALENDAR BIKE SHOW AT QUEEN MARY– Actually we’re hosting the Party Saturday Night on the Queen Mary in the Observation Lounge. Goddamnit it’s free to get in, be there.And don’t forget our expanded 2001 2-Day Hot Bike magazine presentsThe White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Showsponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler and Budweiser is comingup in 2 months on Saturday July 21st & Sunday July 22nd. It’s thebiggest Custom and High Performance Streetbike Show in America! Forcomplete spectator information and Exhibitor Registration visit ourwebsite at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm

–Jim Gianatsis
Gianatsis Design / FastDates.com
Phone 818.223.8550

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March 15, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT’S CANTINA DUE TO LAUNCH FRIDAY, MURDER AND INTRIGUE ABOUNDS
I slipped out of town for a couple of days while the feds sniffed around the headquarters. All the girls were sick as dogs and some conniving bitch was trying to get the scoop on the Cantina. It was time to be scarce, away from the coast for a few days. I held a seance with the full moon, prayed for guidance and for someone to come along and help with with my flat tire. I managed to get the Blue Flame registered, have some powdercoating done on Little John’s desk and collect weights from an iron pile for a squat rack we’re building behind our headquarters. Gotta keep the crew in shape. Just as I was getting bored with the desert, my cell phone rang and Sin’s voice, husky with a chest cold, whispered something in my ear about a rare lost Von Dutch engraved knife. I was intrigued and inspiration sprung forth.

VonDutchknife
One of the rooms in the Cantina will be devoted to hidden treasures from the lost planet of Motorcycles. The knife has been rescued as you can see and will be displayed in the Cantina along with other rare cycling artifacts. Let’s get to the news:

BLUE FLAME FOR SALE–I hate to sell any motorcycle, but I’ve been informed that the time to sell is while it’s fresh. If it’s not gone before Laughlin, it will haul my ass through the desert to the island of neon along the Colorado River. The price is $34,500, cheaper than a lot of clones, and packed with class and reliability. Write my sad-to-see-it-go self at Bandit@bikernet.com.

CHOPPER ORWELL FOR REAL, TAKE TWO–

United States Patent 5,878,155
Heeter March 2, 1999

Method for verifying human identity during electronic sale transactions:A method is presented for facilitating sales transactions by electronicmedia. A bar code or a design is tattooed on an individual. Before the salestransaction can be consummated, the tattoo is scanned with a scanner.Characteristics about the scanned tattoo are compared to characteristicsabout other tattoos stored on a computer database in order to verify theidentity of the buyer. Once verified, the seller may be authorized to debitthe buyer’s electronic bank account in order to consummate the transaction.The seller’s electronic bank account may be similarly updated.

Inventors: Heeter; Thomas W. (55 Lyerly, Houston, Texas 77022)
Appl. No.: 709471
Filed: Sept. 5, 1996

–Ryder Sgt. Rodney

OLDIE BUT GOODIE!–A few minutes before the Sunday services started, the townspeople were sitting intheir pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” Satan asked.

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

“Don’t you realize I can kill you with a word?” asked Satan.

“Don’t doubt it for a minute,” returned the old man in an even tone.

“Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONYfor all eternity?” persisted Satan.

“Yep,” was the calm reply.

“And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan.

“Nope.”

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid ofme?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

–Harleywrench

CHROME SPECIALTIES CATALOG ON LINE–I know that when you need to check on parts, you either need the catalog in your mits or you need to be able to reach the catalog online. For years I’ve been promoting the CCI catalog only to discover that they don’t have it online. There is a company, a Bikernet sponsor, that has its entire catalog online, and that’s Chrome Specialties.We’ve even volunteered to assist CCI in launching their catalog. As soon as they have that monster online, we’ll be the first to let you know.

AN OLD MAN– An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked upto the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair all different colors -green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. The young man said, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?”

The old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot.I was just wondering if you were my son.”

ZEBRA NEWS FLASH– Special Agent Zebra heads to Ecuador, project unknown.

With little warning, at 0100 hours Pacific time, Special Agent Zebra announced plans to travel to Bogota, Colombia, continuing on to the FARC guerilla-controlled jungles of Ecuador, north of the city of Quito. It is widely known that these jungles are under close scrutiny by the United States government due to the high rate of kidnapping/ransom abductions by FARC guerillas, as seen in the recently released Russell Crowe movie,”Proof of Life”.

Bikernet.com was put on a strict “need to know” basis, but inside sources have revealed that the Zebra was in close contact with several “members of state” reputed to be on the Ecuador/Colombian border and working on the recent FARC kidnapping of eight oil workers, one of whom was later murdered. Bikernet.com has also discovered that the Zebra has recently been in close communique with retired SpecWarfare experts in the Southern California region.

It is not known what role Special Agent Zebra will play in this situation or why he is said to have secured “temporary weapons permits” from the Ecuadoran military leaders. He is known to be traveling with one Ian Truitner, retired U.S. Army.

— Big Lucy, reporting from Los Angeles

CHROME SERVICES DELIVERS–A subsideriary of Hill Products and Web Harley performs chrome brokering for the motorcycle industry, including Harley-Davidson. However, Chris Hill, president, stated recently, “Chroming for the individual is a mainstay of Chrome Services. We understand the business, the chroming process and have relationships will all the finest chrome facilities in the Southland. We can and will get the job done, monitor the quality and deliver the completed job to the customer, so they don’t have to fuck with it.”

Chroming is a hassle to builders all over the world. It’s good to know that there is someone out there who will take the same pride in your chrome as do.

LITTLE JOHNNY–Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles. A priest walked up and asked him whathe was doing.

Little Johnny replied, “I’m looking at the most powerful liquid in the world.”

The priest said, “But Johnny, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on a pregnant woman’s belly, she will pass a boy.”

Little Johnny said, “Big deal! This is turpentine. If you put this on a cat’s ass, he’ll passa Harley-Davidson!”

QUANTUM REPORT–Got back from Daytona and there was a letter from the bankruptcy courtinforming me that American Quantum Cycles Inc. has changed its address fromWashburn Road to American Quantum Cycles Inc., C/O Richard Block, 91 E.Dartmouth Ave., Englewood, Colo. 80110.

I do not know what this means or what effect if any it has to the priormonies owed to past employees. Keep it for now and will try to find out more.–Rogue

DaytonaDemolition

A HEARTY THANKS–To the owner, Kevin Ruic, of the Motorcycle Demolition Derby for posting our name, Bikernet.com, on all of his billboards in Daytona last week.

Kevin almost lost his business to Easyriders, but managed to hold on to it and is kicking off a new series of demolition derbies around the country. Watch for them.

Continued on Page 2

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