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Read More March 29, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
NEW SAMSON LOGO AND PERFORMANCE TESTING–Watch next week for new performance exhaust testing results. It’s something I’m constantly interested in.
RAY PRICE READIES FOR 2001–The Ray Price Racing Team has had an uncharacteristically slowstart for the 2001 Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley season. But all that’s aboutto change.
Price, the senior Harley drag racer, will soon climb on his 170-cubic-inchnitro burning, 800-horsepower, two-wheel rocket to compete with the IHRA atRockingham Dragway this weekend.
Price opted to miss the traditional first race of the season, spending timeat his Speed shop in Raleigh. “Last year we made tremendous horsepower, butwe couldn’t get the power to the ground without breakage. This season it’scost us time on the front end, we’ve re-designed the heads, belt drive,clutch and fuel system. Even the bracketry and the body style will bedifferent. We are striving for reliability this year.”
Crew chief Nick Richendollar is joined this season by Rex Harris, comprisingthe midnight oil burning nitro team. “It hasn’t been uncommon for us to workall week till 3 or 4 in the morning, get a couple hours sleep, a shower andback at it,” according to Price. “We are hoping to get in a couple practicesessions before going to the Rock this weekend.”
Price intends to join Steve Earwood, Rockingham Dragway track owner, and theIHRA management staff at Rockingham Dragway on March 28 for achamber of commerce luncheon. More than 300 local, state and national dignitarieswill be treated to a trackside meal and tour of the internationally renownedrace facility. –www.rayprice.com
ANOTHER CRITICAL VOTING OPPORTUNITY–Let your voice be heard on the subject of the government closing your land. With more than 5,000 responses as of this morning, 76 percent are opposed to Clinton’s land closure. You can increase that percentage.
MSNBC is running another poll to verify support or opposition to theClinton/Gore Roadless Initiative. We need to send the strongest messageto the Bush administration that this effort to circumvent congress shouldnot be implemented.
Make your vote count at:http://www.msnbc.com/news/545197.asp
HELMET VOTE–The News-Journal in Daytona Beach has a poll to vote if you want to put thehelmets back on. May I suggest that you go to the below site and vote NO,http://www.news-journalonline.com/news.htm#poll
BANDIT’S CANTINA TEASER PAGE–If you’re skeptical about joining the Cantina, we snatched the content page from inside and posted it on the outside so you can actually check out the departments. This joint is growing fast, but we’re a flexible bunch. If you think there should be more, let us know.
NOTICESCHEDULING EVIDENTIARY HEARING– for the Quantum Case. I have objected to the trustee’s motion for authority to compromisecontroversy and shorten time. This matter pertains to the selling of motorcycles and other items toAquino’s Auto Service Inc. for $251,000. After payments to various indivuals there was a balance of $141,000.
When I asked the judge at a previous court hearing how money was dispensed,I was told court fees and expenses would be first, then employees’ back pay up to $3,400 each.
In the trustee’s motion, the $141,000 was awarded to InternationalHoldings Inc. (Joe Hale) My argument is that employees should have been paid before Hale.
Hale went to Quantum’s 731 Washburn Road address and removed truckloadsof office equipment and who knows what else. He also made a deal withAquino’s to purchase every thing else in the building. All visible property that was at the Washburn address is beingremoved. Therefore there are no assets to be sold and pay employees. The hearing on this will be held on April 3 at 10:30 a.m. at the UnitedStates Bankruptcy Court, 135 West Central Blvd., Orlando Fla.
It is requested that all interested parties appear at this hearing to let the judge know theirfeelings on this matter. After all, it is your money that is at stake here.
If for some reason you can’t make it, at least write to the judge andlet him know how you feel about this matter and what a hardship it hascaused you.
Honorable Judge Briskman
135 W. Central Ave.
Orlando, Fla. 32802
–ROGUE
FIVE SURGEONS– are discussing who make the best patients to operate on. Thefirst surgeon says, “I lie to see accountants on my operating table, becausewhen you open them up, everything is numbered.”
Second surgeon says; “Yeah,but you should try electricians. Everything inside is color coded.”
Thirdsurgeon; “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything is inalphabetical order.”
Fourth surgeon; “You know, I like construction workers.Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end,and when the job takes longer than you said they’re cool.”
Fifth surgeon;”You are all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s noguts, no heart, no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”
PARTY ALERT IN SEATTLE AREA– Just wanted to say hi and let you know that we here at Cyclpath are having a party on June 3. There will be food, drink and bands. There’s more info on the Web site, www.cyclpath.com.–Jeff Carney
BLUE FLAME FOR SALE–I hate to sell any motorcycle, but I’ve been informed that the time to sell is while it’s fresh. If it’s not gone before Laughlin, it will haul my ass through the desert to the island of neon along the Colorado River. The price is $32,500, cheaper than a lot of clones, and packed with class and reliability. Write my sad-to-see-it-go self at Bandit@bikernet.com.
BENTONVILLE, ARK. (AP) — Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample anew discount item — Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largestretail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., toproduce the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6-$8 range. While wineconnoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wineinto their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said KathyMicken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I.”There is wine in a box that people are willing to buy,” she said. “Theright name is important.”
The top 15 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
15. Box O’ Grapes
14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
13. White Trashfindel
12. Big Red Gulp
11. Grape Expectations
10. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”
9. NASCAbernet
8. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
6. Blue Light Special Nun
5. Chateau des Moines
4. Martha Stewart’s Sour Grapes
3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!
and the No. 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine…
1. Nasti Spumante
10TH ANNIVERSARY BEACH RIDE–The Beach Ride benefits the exceptional Children’s Foundation of Los Angeles, one of the largest organizations in Southern California serving children and adults with developmental disabilities. Larry Hagman will be the grand marshal this year. They’ll have three hot bands, a bike show run by Bikernet, a tattoo contest, a Mr. and Mrs. Beach Ride contest, lotsa food and over 150 Vendors. It’s coming July 15th to the San Buena Ventura State Park, Ventura, Calif.
For information on sponsorships, advertising in the 10th anniversary collector’s journal, or for vendor information, call (310) 470-3644. And write me at Bandit@bikernet.com if you’re interested in sponsoring the trophies for $1,000.
ULTRA MOTORCYCLE MAKING HEADWAY– Ultra Motorcycle Co. announced results from the 33rdannual Dealer News International Powersports Dealer Expo held in Indianapolisback in Februrary.Their exhibition of motorcycles netted them around 60 new dealerinquiries, which are currently being reviewed.
The Dealer Expo was attended bynearly half of UMC’s current dealer base, and those in attendance placedmotorcycle orders at the show for approximately 200 units, totaling more than$4 million.
On Feb. 16, at their annual Dealer Conference, the company unveiled itsnewest model, the ”Titanium Series 2.” The differences between the ‘T’series 1 and 2 include 6-gallon stretched gas tanks, cruiser-style handlebar,18-inch front tire and wheel and uniquely styled longer rear fender withdistinctive flip.
I like the idea of more gasoline capacity, especially ifyou travel some of the long runs in the Southern California desert countrywhere fill-ups are far and few between. ADAM TO EVE– I’ll wear the plants in this family! THAT’S IT– I just walked out back and discovered that the costly chunk of glass I had cut for John Buttera’s desk is cracked, so I’m ready for a shot. Of course the glass company said I shouldn’t have put it in the sun. Glass in the sun? It wasn’t 78 degrees today on the point. What gives? I’m bummed, but ordered another piece, and we’ll stay on schedule. Damn, somedays I hate learning life’s little lessons. For some odd reason I’m looking forward to the weekend. I suppose some of it has to do with the sun, motorcycles that run, and women who like to have fun. That spins my wheels every time. Let’s ride–Bandit
March 29, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
I don’t know where to start. The Cantina is cool and growing daily. We’re considering the launch of a drag racing section in the free area, with weekly coverage from Mary Lou and photos from the talented Helen Wolfe. We’re working on the marketing side of Laughlin and made a deal with Joe O’Day to promote the event on Bikernet. The desk is virtually finished. NuttBoy and I picked up the glass yesterday and if the chromer didn’t fib to me, I’ll have the rest of the shiny stuff today. We’ll present the desk to Little John Buttera on Tuesday with great fanfare.
Next we’ll clean up the Blue Flame and put NuttBoy’s ProStreet chassis on the lift and make a list of parts we need. The Dragonfly line is up on the site with the coolest Hawaiian-style shirts known to man. We’ve kicked off an intriguing area in the Cantina where we will feature people and things that are one-of-a-kind. It’s called the Digital Treasure Chest, and you won’t believe some of the shit you’ll see there.
On a personal front, the women are pissed over a girl named Charlee, and I can’t wait until the fog burns off the gray blues hanging over the harbor long enough to blast my ass to Laughlin. Next week we’ll feature the mods to the Buell. We better get to the news before I get in any more trouble.
MIGHTY JOHN SIEBENTHALER–created this poster to promote the site in Laughlin. Let me know if you see it on Casino Drive, I’ll be too drunk to see 2 feet in front of me.
END DISCRIMINATION IN HEALTH CARE!–SIGN THE GREEN LETTER!Washington, D.C. — March 26. You can safeguard your right to health care in case of accidental injury by calling your congressman today!
The Motorcycle Riders Foundation encourages you to urge your U.S. representative to sign a letter that encourages Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson to safeguard motorcyclists from being discriminated against by employer health care plans.?
U.S. Rep. Mark Green of Wisconsin authored and is circulating the letter at the urging of the American Motorcyclist Association. With enough co-signers, the letter will convey to Secretary Thompson that he has the strong backing of Congress to work to reverse the interim final rule, promulgated by the Clinton administration, for the ?non-discrimination? provisions of the Health Care Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA).?
Thus far, these champions of your rights and safety have signed the letter by Rep. Mark Green: U.S. Reps. James Sensenbrenner (R-Wis.), Thomas Barrett (D-Wis.), John Shimkus (R-Ill.), Don Manzullo (R-Ill.), Rod Blagojevich (D-Ill.), Timothy Johnson (R-Ill.), Frank Pallone (D-N.J.), Thomas Petri (R-Wis.) and Mike Rogers (R-Mich.).?
If your congressman appears on this list, call him to thank him at (202) 224-3121.If not, call today, as your congressman?s name belongs on the Green letter.
Here are the facts:
?HIPAA contains language that prohibits health care benefit discrimination against employees who happen to own and use motorcycles.
?Senate floor exchange between Senators Moseley-Braun and Kassebaum on April 18, 1996, confirmed that this language was ?intended to ensure that, among other things, participants and beneficiaries are not excluded from health care coverage because they participate in activities such as motorcycling??
?That language and that understanding became law in 1996 when 421 congressmen and 98 U.S. senators voted to pass HIPAA.
?The regulators who wrote the rule on HIPAA, however, narrowly interpreted the word ?participation? in a way that legalizes the denial of health benefits to motorcyclists who sustain an injury while riding. That narrow interpretation is wrong and directly contrary to congressional intent.
Here?s what to do:
1.Telephone your U.S. representative at (202) 224-3121 now (or reach your congressman via e-mail. See thomas.gov for a directory of addresses.)
2.Explain the situation and urge your representative to sign the ?Dear Colleague? letter authored by Rep. Green.
3.Pass this alert along to three other riders and encourage them to do the same.
DEAL OF THE WEEK–This deal was posted in the Cantina last week–we try to give the members a deal a week, so they had first crack at it. The sled belongs to the wild and woolly art director of HORSE MAGAZINE, Geno. It was built by the guys at Choppers Inc. as a magazine project bike, so it’s cool, with the tightest parts available. The rear tire is the biggest baddest puppy alive, and the engine is pure S&S technology. He’s asking $16,500. If you want to know more, call Geno at (561) 394-5353. If you want to steal it, he resides in Boca Raton, but I ain’t givin’ up the address.
BITCH IN THE KITCHEN–A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing withhisnew electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and herson saying, “All of you sons of bitches who want off,get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sonsof bitches who aregetting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down thetracks.”
The horrified mother went in and told her son, “We don’t use that kind oflanguage in this house! Now I want you to go toyour room and you areto stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with yourtrain, but I want you to use nice language.”
Twohours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing withhis train. Soon the train stopped and the motherheard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train,please remember to take all of your belongings with you.We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasantone. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” Sheheard the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we askyou to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat.Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have apleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As themother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who arepissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see thebitch in the kitchen.”
BIKERNET SCORES AWARD–Last week the entire Bikernet staff was honored with the above award at a gala Beverly Hills banquet. From the podium, Jon “The Artist” Towle said, “I coulda drawn a better set of tanks!” Renegade said, “It’s fixed.” And Snake stumbled drunk and busted his lip on the stage. We are most honored.
TWIN CAM TIP– I got some info I thought you might be interested in: Do you have a lot?of takeoff ?Twin Cam 88 cylinders lying around from doing the H-D 95-inch?big bore kits? Well I just found out that STD is making a?single cam (EVO) engine case that has the bolt pattern?for Twin Cam 88 cylinders!?This will?also allow you to use the T.C. heads with these cases.
Some H-D dealers?will take the stock T.C.?cylinders,?bore and hone them to fit the big bore pistons. Most use the 3 7/8-inch big bore cylinders that come in a kit with the pistons. So there are?a fair amount?of these cylinders out there to be used.
You can?open?the stock T.C. cylinders?to 3 7/8-inch bore. This with the EVO stroke of 4 1/4-inches will yield an engine size of 100 inches. The engine will?now?take on a new “Fat” look. You have to get some adapter plates for the heads to accommodate the different pushrod angles, kinda like the old “Shovester” engine conversion done by Trock Cycle a few years back. Contact STD for further info and?for lead time and cost.
Now on to H-D fuel injection: BC Gerolamy is offering a service?for the stock H-D throttle body. What they are doing is boring the two throttle body?ports to 42mm and fittng new throttle plates to them. They alsoredo the port shape for more air flow. Doing this and using the Dyno-jet Power Commander will allow you to use more cam and get much better air flow into that big bore engine!
They also offer a service for the Buell throttle body. Their Web site is: www.bcheads.com. Check em out. Speaking of Buells. Do you have an X1 and want more HP? Well so far about all you can do is put on the Buell race kit. The maps in the Buell race kit ECM right now don’t allow for too much modification. Well the high-performance Screamin’ Eagle cams have a total lift of .536.?The stock Buell X1 cams are in the .495?range. To use the large cam set for more air/power, you can use the Dyno Jet Power Commander to give that extra fuel?the engine will require. Also the throttle body will have to be bored by Gerolamy. The Buell throttle body uses an automotive-type fuel injector.
People are starting to use the Buell fuel injection for road racing this year. So there will be a lot more info on this fuel injection system?in the near future. That’s all for now.–Paul
FREE BIKE SHOW ENTRIES–Our Cyber Bike Show is heating up and it’s absolutely free. Here’s Dennis’ entry for the month of March. Check out the bikes, the winners and the sponsors. Crazy Horse now manages the show, and Oz is the judge, so don’t blame me. We’ll post the March winners next week.
LAUGHLIN’S COMIN’–It’s headed this way like a sand storm. For room availability, call Dal-Con Productions at (909) 340-0096. I mention the room thing because the following reader is looking for a room: tbourne@tagitpacific.comGot rooms for Laughlin anyone?And how much please?thanks–T. See you there April 26-29. Be there, be there, be there.
CANTINA FEATURES FAMOUS IRON AND LACE CALENDAR GIRLS– How come there’s no mention of it (Iron & Lace Calendar pictorial by Jim Gianatsis/FastDates.com -the top custom bikes in America with beautiful centerfolds from Penthouse and Playboy) outside the Cantina?
There ya go, Jim. So where’s my image to post with this stunning news?–Bandit
INNOVATION STRIKES AT BIKERNET–Phoenix correspondent at AMI school for accredited H-D mechanics reports the following: I have an idea about a new type of braking system and wondered if you or Wrench would have any ideas:
Instead of using conventional rotors, one could use a rubber belt (similar to that of a battle-tank), spinning at an equal rate as the rotor, but in the opposite direction. Obviously this would require the use of an additional driveshaft (or similar means of transfering the spin from the rear axle, or other source, to the brake pad), and would probably require additional maintenance. This would however, greatly reduce the time and distance required to stop a moving wheel.
Side note: one could also use spinning cylinders of equal width to the rotor surface that traverse up and down (parallel to the rotor surface) and are applied to the rotor surface utilizing the brake lever and master cylinder. I can only forsee one possible disadvantage: The movement of the rotor against the pad would efectively be increased to double the speed of the wheel. This may cause problems with the reliablity of the system, as, at such a high rate of speed, the pad may hydroplane and lose traction. (possible workaround?)
Additional side-note: The entire system may need to be completely enclosed (rotor and pad system). This would provide two advantages: 1. The cosmetic aspect of black rubber residue on a rotor aren’t exactly eye-pleasing. 2. This would allow the protection of the entire system from debris and foreign objects, and allow the entire surface of the rotor to be utilized for friction (possibly using a system of miniature axles similar to a snake drive).
Second additional side-note: I have been thinking about using either a drum-type braking surface or disc-type braking surface, but I’m waiting for additional comments before deciding which.
–Torch
Wrench thinks you’re fuckin’ nuts.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA IF–You have a very strong opinion about where yourcoffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran andEthiopian.
You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
You can’t remember… is pot legal?
A really great parking space can move you totears.
DRAG RACING NOTES–Doug Vancil, Top Fuel 40 from Albuquerque, N.M., is the current AHDRA national points leader with a score of 138 after the Orlando H-D Bike Week Nationals, where he set a new ET?record of 6.616 seconds. He held the No. 2 plate during last year’s competition.
The next closest scorer is Tony Mattioli, Top Fuel 9 (and 27) of Middlegrove, N.Y., with 97 points. Mattioli also runs a Pro Fuel bike No. 20 and?holds the MPH record of 199.21, set on it in?October ’98 at Las Vegas.
Johnny Mancuso, Top Fuel 535 of Houston, Texas, holds the Top Fuel?record of 210.18 MPH set at Las Vegas Dragstrip last October.
–Helen Wolfe
TATTOO VOTING–Now is your chance to vote for the ‘Best Tattoo Artist in the World’ to achieve *** The Golden Star Award ***! Click here to vote: http://goldenstarawards.com
Each of the 10 categories has five nominees who have been carefully selected for their extraordinary artwork on skin over the past decade.
Winners will be presented at the Biggest Tattoo Show on Earth Sept. 28 – 30 2001 in New Jersey: http://starlighttattoo.com/news.shtml#biggest
BUBBA IS LIVE– Wanted to let you know: www.bubbablackwell.com is online. Bubba Blackwell, the daredevil who is breaking every record Evel ever set and doing it without breaking every bone in his body, will have BIG news for us real soon….. “I am about to chew a hole in mytongue from not telling anyone yet….” Bubba told Bandit.
PARTS ON LINE–Need parts? The Chrome Specialties catalog is right here for you.
MOTARTCYCLE, STURGIS 2001–July 30-Sept. 7An exhibition of motorcycle related artwork, juried by internationally knownphotographer Michael Lichter, painter David Uhl, and Ron Segal of SegalFine Art.MotARTcycle! will take place during the 2001 Sturgis Rally at the ApexGallery on the campus of South Dakota Tech.
Calendar:
May 7: Postmark deadline for slides.
June 8: Juror?s notification mailed.
July 13: Deadline for receipt of work.
July 27: MotARTcycle! opens.
Aug: Reception date to be scheduled, during Sturgis Rally.
Sept. 7: Last day to view
MotARTcycle!
Sept. 21: Artwork returned, pick up of hand delivered work.
Entry Fee:A non-refundable entry fee of $10 for the first slide and $5for each additional slide. Limit four.
HANNON RACING SAYS–“Bring ’em on— BIG NITRO BOYS-April 8- ?BradentonMotor Sports Park”
Bill Hannon of Hannon Racing says, “We are lookingforward to racing against the BIG NITRO BOYS of FLORIDA, in the spirit ofgood fun and showmanship, all in the name of the UNITED WAY. We are going todo our best to show the crowd that gas isn’t just for washing parts.” Theevent will be held at Bradenton Motor Sports Park in Bradenton, Fla., on April 8.
Hannon, owner of the quickest and fastest Pro Stock Harley-Davidson in theworld, challenges all Florida teams to compete in the event presented by RickRossiter of Rossiter’s Harley-Davidson, Sarasota, Fla. and the FloridaHarley-Davidson Dealer’s Assoc.
Bradenton Motor Sports Park is located on Hwy. 64 east of Bradenton. Gateswill open at 9 a.m.; competition begins at 1 p.m.
Teams wishing to pre-register should call:Rick Rossiter’s at (941) 342-0040Bradenton Motor Sports Park at (941) 748-1320 ??????????Hannon at (941) 463-2778,?or check out www.hannonracing.com
MODERN TERMS–IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton’s video grand jury testimony is another.PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, “We each owe $8, but all anybody’s got are yuppie food stamps.”SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Continued on Page 2
March 22, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 2
JIMS AND BANDIT WORKING ON BANDIT LINE–With the assistance of C.J. Allan, the engraver, we’re working on a line of completely unique Evolution motor covers. We may have something to look at next week.
A WOMAN–was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always camehome late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
“Take my advice,” said the neighbor, “and do what I did.Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from mybed, I called out, ‘Is that you, Jim?’ And that cured him.”
“Cured him!” asked the woman, “but how?”
The neighbor said, “You see, his name is Bill.”
–BillV
WANGO TANGO–Here’s a shot of my scoot “Wango Tango” for your site, if it passesinspection. It’s a 93-inch stroked Shovel. All critical parts cryo treatedand dry filmed. S&S cases, Super “g”, dual plugged heads that wereextensively reworked by Blower, Velvatouch lifters, S&S 514 cam, Dyna “s”single fire with ugly but good Compufire 4 plug single unit coil.
Stock H-D mags with GMA calipers and rotors front and rear. Maxxus V-ratedtires and it needs them!1978 4-speed tranny rebuilt by Blower with Hayden M-6 [love that damnedthing] and Barnett clutch. Pipes are different now and it’s being changedcurrently including new fenders and paint. I’ll send it along soon!
STATS AND STATS–Number of physicians in the U.S. = 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year = 120,000
Accidentaldeathsper physician = 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services)
Number of gun owners in the U.S. = 80,000,000
Number of accidental gundeaths per year (all age groups) = 1,500
Accidental deaths per gun owner = 0.0000188 (U.S. Bureau of Alcohol,Tobacco and Firearms)
Therefore, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gunowners.I think we can apply this to helmets also.
–Loren
VICTORY MOTORCYCLES’ MARC HOFFMAN ZONED– Mark Blackwell, general manager of the VictoryMotorcycles division of Polaris Industries, announced that Marc Hoffman hasbeen appointed to the position of zone sales manager for the sales territorythat encompasses 10 north-central states.Hoffman serves as a business partner to Victory dealers in his territory,ensuring that they utilize all Victory sales and marketing programs to fulladvantage and helping them establish and attain their sales goals.”Marc understands the challenges dealers face every day and will be anexcellent resource for them,” said Blackwell. “He began his career workingat the retail level and understands all aspects of sales and dealershipoperations. I believe Marc has the knowledge, drive, and interpersonalskills needed to work with our Victory dealers and help ensure their successin the coming years.”
MURPH WILL APPRECIATE THIS ONE–A couple are attending an art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts three very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; two have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.
As the couple looks somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, “Can I help you with this painting? I?m the artist who painted it.”
The man says “Well, we like the painting but don?t understand why you have three African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have black penises.”
The artist says, “Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They?re not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch.”
THOUGHTS TO PONDER–I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for thegreat ordeal of meeting me is another matter. –Winston Churchill
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says,”What is this, some kind of joke?”
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Adam to Eve: I’ll wear the plants in this family!
–Joli
PROMOTION IS THE KEY– That’s why as a birthday present Oz had the Bikernet logo plastered on the home page of the Malibu Times. So next week we’ll launch our newest department: Bandit Goes Surfing, or Bandit Meets Annette.
WHERE WAS I? Oh, yeah. Three women for a day. My fingertips were all a twitter. But what about the bike show, the bros? The chances of selling the Blue Flame would be high amongst those who have cash to burn. I couldn’t decide, so I shifted my libido into nuetral, an emotional holding pattern over fresh sheets and waited. You know women. Their minds could change at the drop of a hairpin. I wasn’t going to hold my breath.
I polished the Blue Flame, but bowed out on shipping the racer to the show. Saturday night slipped by in a fog and Sunday arrived with the phone ringing. “We’re meeting at the coffee shop…”
“I’ll ride out a little later,” I returned.
The phone kept ringing and I kept bobbing and weaving. Just about the time I found my gloves there was a tentative tap on the front door. I knew it was Sin. I bolted down the hallway and there they all stood, the sun glistening in their hair and pretty pert smiles tripping across their faces. Each one wore an outfit that said undress me, quick. So I unplugged the phone and let them in.
Still had enough energy to hit Bike Night on Signal Hill on Tuesday.
–Let’s ride, Bandit
March 22, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
BANDIT’S CANTINA ORDERING GLITCH SOLVED–As a demonstration of the professionalism of Bikernet, here’s an actual complaint scenario recieved moments after the Cantina was opened:
“Hey, what about us poor, bankrupt mf’ers who don’t have a credit card tojoin the Cantina club? I really want in. Can’t you set up a form to send amoney order?”
Fuck man, I’ll fix it. I swear. I really fucked up bad, here. Do me a favor bro, don’t tell Bandit. I’ll post a form so you can drop a check in the mail. Hey, I’m all over it. I swear. Just please don’t tell the big bastard. He’ll kill me. Promise me man. It’ll be done in minutes.
Praying for a reprieve,
Digital Ganster
Thanks Digital, my check is in the mail! Ha! Ha!Bandit has the BEST site on the net and I bet the Cantina iseven better.That’s enough ass-kissing for this week.I appreciate your prompt action on this matter.
–J.H.
A HELPING HAND–One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for hisfarm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and ananvil. Then he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple ofchickens and a goose.However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchaseshome.
The livestock dealer said: “Why don’t you put the anvil in thebucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each armand carry the goose in your other hand?”
“Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off he went.While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost.
Sheasked: “Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township Road?”
The farmer said: “Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 132 TownshipRoad. Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be therein no time”
The little old lady said: “How do I know that when we get in thealley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt andravish me?”
The farmer said: “Holy smokes lady, I am carrying a bucket, an anvil,two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold youup against the wall and do that?”
The lady said: “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, putthe anvil on top of the bucket, and I can hold the chickens.”
–WHO
NEW FROM CRIME INC.–We must apologize for the models. Make sure you check out the new stuff from Crime Inc. in the Bikernet Gulch. The shots are entertaining, and here in the Pedro Ghetto it’s easy to pick up a couple of winos for models. Five bucks and a new T-shirt and they thought is was Christmas all over again. Tough to get ’em to stand still for very long.
THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),and is sponsored by the law offices of Richard M. Lester. For moreinformation, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Web site at <
“BEST BIKE WEEK EVER!” Despite the gloom and doom predictions of themedical and insurance industries, and some politicians hoping for anyjustification to reinstate Florida’s recently repealed helmet law, thisyear’s Bike Week resulted in only six official traffic fatalities, almost athird of last year’s record number of 15 traffic deaths.”Authorities had worried that this Bike Week would be deadlier thanusual because it’s the first one since Florida repealed its helmet law,”noted the St. Petersburg Times.Two of the six fatalities were pedestrians — one was a drunk homelessperson struck by a motorcycle when he staggered into the street.
An estimated 500,000 bikers poured into the Daytona, Fla., area for the64th Annual Bike Week, and many of them took advantage of Florida’s newly wonright to decide on helmet use.ABATE of Florida Inc. succeeded in modifying the 31-year old mandatoryhelmet law to allow freedom of choice for riders 21 and older who can showproof of medical insurance coverage. The law became effective July 1,making Florida the fifth state in five years to repeal a helmet law.
MASSACHUSETTS BILL WOULD REQUIRE EVERYONE TO WEAR A HELMET. As reportedhere last month, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has a bill introduced torequire the use of protective headgear for drivers and passengers of allmotor vehicles. Motorcyclists’ rights activists are pushing H1263 to drawattention to the Commonwealth’s current mandatory motorcycle helmet law, andthey want legislators to be aware of the fact that over 90 percent of allautomobile crashes result in a head injury, and that the state could saveuntold millions of dollars in public burden by requiring all vehicleoccupants to wear a DOT-approved helmet.
OREGON UPDATE. “Our Oregon helmet bill I believe is about to pass ourHouse,” reports Oregon AIM Attorney Sam Hochberg, “but we’re holding it incommittee in the Senate until we’re sure we have the votes. Problem is, thesame governor who vetoed it in the last two sessions has come out and said hewould veto it again.
“So,” says Sam, “BikePAC is really focusing more on other bills:One would allow lane-splitting, another would allow motorcyclists to filltheir own gas tanks, which we USUALLY do now anyway, in spite of our law thatsays NO self-serve. We’re one of two states — the other is New Jersey –that forbid self-serve.”
ILLINOIS CONSIDERS HELMET LAW Although no state has enacted a motorcyclehelmet law since Maryland in 1992, Illinois lawmakers are considering a billto require riders under the age of 18 to wear a helmet. Illinois is one ofonly three states that have no helmet law covering younger riders. Coloradoand Iowa are the other two that have no helmet law on the books.
Two Chicago area legislators are reportedly pushing the helmet law inretaliation for ABATE of Illinois heading off a City Council attempt to banmotorcycles on certain Chicago streets, primarily Lake Shore Drive.Rep. Julie Hamos (D-Chicago) introduced HB3084, which passed 7-0 incommittee and will now go to the House Floor. Sen. Donne Trotter(D-Chicago) is carrying a similar bill in the state Senate.”Don’t expect this to go anywhere, though,” predicted Rich Miller inthe political insider publication “Capitol Fax” on March 5.
NEW MEXICO REPEALS HANDLEBAR HEIGHT LAW Gov. Gary Johnson signed abill into law on March 12 that repeals sections of the vehicle code thatrestrict the height of motorcycle handlebars, making New Mexico the fifthstate to repeal or amend its handlebar height law. The other four statesare Iowa, Arizona, Oregon and Washington. The repeal becomes effective July1.
Most states enacted handlebar height laws in the ’60s to give lawenforcement officers justification to stop and harass bikers because of thehigh handlebars on their choppers. Rep. Rick Miera, a long time rider and member of the NationalCoalition of Motorcyclists’ Legislative Task Force, introduced and carriedthe bill. Miera also introduced a bill to allow special motorcycle licenseplates for veterans and disabled veterans, which he said he expects to pass,and a biker anti-discrimination bill that is still being heard.
DISC JOCKEYS SUSPENDED FOR ENDANGERING BIKERS “A pair of San Joseafternoon radio deejays who said on the air that motorists should open cardoors or run over motorcyclists and bicyclists were suspended from KSJO-FM,”reported the San Jose Mercury News on Feb. 21.Kramer and Twitch were the subject of several angry complaints frombicycle and motorcycle organizations, including the National Coalition of Motorcyclists.
SENATOR BEN CAMPBELL TO TAKE HILLARY CLINTON ON A HARLEY RIDE Just whenshe may need it most, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton could get a new image:biker babe.It’s all thanks to U.S. Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-Colo.), America’sNo. 1 motorcycle advocate. Campbell recently told of his plans to transformthe former first lady into a biker.
EASY BITER By devising “The Easy Biter,” an invention thatincorporates a set of motorcycle handlebar grips that make revving soundswhile corn lovers nibble on their ears more easily, young Nicholas Kretschmerof Hales Corner, Wis., was crowned the winner of the National Veggie EatingInvention Contest held at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Museum last year.
NOW BOARDING Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can beaggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with anenormous bag. The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, butthe woman argued that her bag was a “carry-on” because it had wheels and ahandle. Without blinking, the attendant said, “My Honda has wheels and ahandle, but that doesn’t make it a carry-on.”READERS DIGEST, Contributed by Analyse DavisTHOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “A plan to save humanity is almost always a falsefront for the urge to rule.” H. L. Mencken
–Bill Bish, NCOM
Continued on Page 3
March 22, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
Note the logo on the front of the trailer.
As the fever grew, so did my excitement. I was determined to ship my 1939 Milwaukee Iron flat-track racer to the field and ride the Blue Flame. Don was on his way when I got a call from Sin Wu. She had been toying with her Epson digital camera and had promised to deliver a couple of girls to the headquarters to pose in the new Dragonfly Hawaiian shirts that we were going to carry. She called the night before the show. “Remember that weekend?”
“No, what weekend?” I shot back.
“That weekend,” her voice lowered, “we spent all weekend in bed?”
“Hell, that’s every weekend.” I was trying to finish an article and go for a ride, and she was dragging this thing out.
“Not like that, honey,” Sin said, and her voice dropped to a sad wisper, like a child who cleaned her room and I failed to notice. Every syllable was like a piece of ice on the back of my neck. I woke up.
“I’m sorry baby, of course I remember that weekend. Remember the warm honey?” I added the detail to let her know I was back on track.
“Thank you babe,” she said. “Well, I have a surprise for you. On Sunday I’m bringing two intimate friends from college over to party with us. Oh, and they’ll pose wearing the Dragonfly shirts.”
I got all tingly, like a 13 year-old going to Disneyland for the first time. My mind started to race, then I remembered the bike show… We better get to the news:
10TH ANNIVERSARY BEACH RIDE–It’s coming like the salt off the ocean and this year it will be better than ever. The Beach Ride benefits the exceptional Children’s Foundation of Los Angeles, one of the largest organizations in Southern California serving children and adults with developmental disabilities. Larry Hagman will be the grand marshal this year. They’ll have three hot bands, a bike show run by Bikernet, a tattoo contest, a Mr. and Mrs. Beach Ride contest, lotsa food and over 150 Vendors. It’s coming July 15th to the San Buena Ventura State Park, Ventura, Calif.
For information on sponsorships, advertising in the 10th anniversary collector’s journal, or for vendor information, call (310) 470-3644. And write me at Bandit@bikernet.com if you’re interested in sponsoring the trophies for $1,000. TP Engineering
WOW–The guy who designed the above ad for TP Engineering designed our billboard and is working on a poster for Laughlin. TP Engineering has sealed a deal to supply Big Dog with more than 800 engines. That’s a helluva compliment and vote of confidence from the best custom bike manufacturer in the country.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA, IF–You make over $250,000 a year and still can’t afford a house.
It’s sprinkling outside, so you leave for work anhour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
Your child’s third grade teacher has purple hair,a nose ring and is named Breeze.
You can’t remember… is pot legal?
You’ve been to a baby shower for an infant whohas two mothers and a sperm donor.
DOWNED BROTHER– A bro from K.C., Mo., e-mailed me and told me that Chuck Ashley just died. He was awaitng a bypass operation the next day, I was told. Chuck worked for Titan about two years ago and ran the motor room there. He is in one of Eric Herrmann’s paintings. Chuck finally got his own shop going again. He was located a couple of blocks from GlendaleH-D. When I last saw him he was doing the motors for Jim Nasi’s custom bikes.
Chuck was originally from the Modesto, Calif., area. I did some welding for him while he was at Titan — engine repair shit, cyl, cases, tools, etc. He was a walking book of knowledge on a lot of things, along with his H-D background. Alwayswas a lot of help when you had questions. I thought he was a genuine bro. You always knew where he stood on things, no bullshit. He will be missed by many.
I guess Arizona Bike Week is coming up soon. Again, I can’t make it. My bro from K.C. is going. I went last year. Miss seeing my buddies out there. If you go, check out Chandler H-D/Buell. It’s a new dealership. It’s owned by the corporation that owns Glendale H-D and Tucson H-D. That’s it for now man. Just wanted to pass on the news about Chuck.
— Paul
NOTICESCHEDULING EVIDENTIARY HEARING– for the Quantum case. I have objected to the trustee’s motion for authority to compromisecontroversy and shorten time. This matter pertains to the selling of motorcycles and other items toAquino’s Auto Service Inc. for $251,000. After payments to various individuals, there was a balance of $141,000.
When I asked the judge at a previous court hearing how money was dispensed,I was told court fees and expenses would be first, then the next prioritywould be employees’ back pay up to $3,400 each.
In the trustee’s motion, the $141,000 was awarded to InternationalHoldings, Inc. (Joe Hale) My argument is that employees should have been paid before Hale. Hale went to Quantum’s office at 731 Washburn Road and removed truckloadsof office equipment and who knows what else. He also made a deal withAquino’s to purchase everything else in the building.
All visible property that was at the Washburn address is beingremoved. Therefore, no assets are to be sold to pay employees. The hearing on this will be held on April 3 at 10:30 a.m. at the UnitedStates Bankruptcy Court, 135 West Central Blvd., Orlando Fla. It is requested that everyone appear at this hearing to let the judge know yourfeelings on this matter. There is plenty of time to make arrangements to attend this hearing.
If for some reason you just can’t make it, at least write to the judge andlet him know how you feel about this matter and what a hardship it hascaused you.
Honorable Judge Briskman
135 W. Central Ave.
Orlando, Fla. 32802
I am hoping to see all of you in Orlando and please tell everyone you know.
–ROGUE
FIVE SURGEONS– are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. Thefirst surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table becausewhen you open them up, everything is numbered.”
Second surgeon says, “Yeah,but you should try electricians. Everything inside is color coded.”
Thirdsurgeon: “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything is inalphabetical order.”
Fourth surgeon: “You know, I like construction workers.Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end,and when the job takes longer than you said, they’re cool.”
Fifth surgeon:”You are all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s noguts, no heart, no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”
DON’T MISS THE PARTY– Just wanted to let you know that we here at cyclpath are having a party on June 3, with food, drink and a band. More information is coming soon to the Web site, www.cyclpath.com. Thanks and hope to meet you some time if I have not already!
–Jeff Carney
SURVIVOR 3– Rated PG. A major network is planning the show “Survivor 3” this winter. In response, Texas is planning “Survivor, Texas Style.” The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, “I’m gay, I voted for Al Gore, and I’m here to confiscate your guns.”
The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.
DEVIL DOLLS HAUNT CANTINA–“Devilish Chaos in the Cantina!” Gawd, I love it..Hey, can I write a fictional (yeah, sure) story about a damsel in distress being rescued by the Devil Dolls? Or better yet, a kidnap/fantasy scenario involving the Dolls and the really handsome but oh- so-brutal rebel boy club?
Love,
Goth rock star
ddmc
My God, what will be next?–Bandit
DRAGONFLY HAWAIIAN SHIRTS HIT BIKERNET–We’ve selected 12 styles of Dragonfly’s hot lineup of wild-assed Hawaiian shirts for the coming summer. These shirts are killer, and if you like them, we’ll take on more styles. They’re 100 percent polyester or 100 percent acetate/rayon for that heavy satin look. Besides, they’ll look good draped over your girlfriend the morning after. What does Samantha look like the morning after…? Like the tattoo around her thigh.
ITALIAN CONNECTION–for antique bikes. If you have one for sale, he’ll also look into taking it on. Check out his extensive collection.
THE BIKERNET EDUCATIONAL AND CULTURAL DEPT. BRINGS YOU–Modern terminology for the hip and with-it.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and everyone — and then leaves.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
On to Page 2
March 15, 2001 Part 4
By Bandit |
TELEPHONE SCAM ALERT–I received a telephone call last evening from an individual identifying himself as an AT&T service technician who was conducting a test ontelephone lines. He stated that to complete the test, I should touchnine(9), zero(0), the pound sign (#), and then hang up.
Luckily I wassuspicious and refused. Upon contacting the telephone company, I wasinformed that by pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual fullaccessto your telephone line, which enables them to place long distancecallsbilled to your home phone number. I was further informed that thisscamhas been originating from many local jails/prisons. I have alsoverifiedthis information with UCB Telecom, Pacific Bell, MCI, Bell Atlantic andGTE. Please beware. DO NOT press 90# for anyone. The GTE SecurityDepartment requested that I share this information with everyone I know.
DEAL OF THE WEEK–They are Atlantic Technology Speaker System Sets Atlantic Technology, makers of high-end home theater speakers and equipment, introduces an incredible set of high-end computer/multimedia speakers with sub woofer and stands.This is an outstanding speaker system that retails for $360.I am selling them for $85 a pair, plus $10 shipping.I have 800 pairs and will also consider a quanity price break. Contact me at: mailto:thequeen@corderostudios.com
–Just call me the peddle princess!
?Fit for Golf? Bootcamp–How’s this for a Bikernet exclusive? Dr. Hamster is writing a book on pain-free golf. Along with the book comes a personal seminar, and here’s his L.A. location.
Want more distance and better scores? Then improve your fitness and physical conditioning! In this workshop you will learn what top players in the game are doing to condition their bodies and swing for the maximum performance. Drills and exercises to improve stamina and strength and overall scoring potential. Taught by sports physician Christian Reichardt, aka Dr. Hamster, and PGA tour instructor, Bob Cisco. Vital to play your best golf!
Results you can expect:
– more flexibility, strength and endurance
– more distance and accuracy
– less pain and soreness
– a better game!
Dates: Saturday, March 24
Time: 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.Location: Cascade Golf Course, Sylmar where the 405/5/210 freeways meet
Cost: $195 per person
For reservations, call Dr. Reichardt at (310) 829-0453
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!”— Benjamin Franklin
PARACHUTIST LANDED ON BEER VENDOR– at acoleslaw wrestling match during central Florida’s raucous “Bike Week”celebration, seriously injuring the vendor, sheriff’s deputies said.
The accident occurred on Wednesday afternoon at Sopotnick’s CabbagePatch bar in Samsala, which sponsors an annual coleslaw wrestling.
Just before the women wrestlers squared off in a pit full of cabbageand oil, a sky diver hired to parachute into the makeshift arena was blown off courseby high winds. The victim, Sherri Lee, 37, waswalking with a tray full of beer near the beverage concession, where she andother members of a local charity were working.
“We yelled, ‘Move, dummy,’ but she never looked up because it happenedso quick,” biker Dave “D.R.” Paul told the Orlando Sentinel.
–FastEddy
MCCLURE MOVED–Maybe Out on Monday.Moments after she arrived at her Florida home, about an hour from the Orlando hospital, Phyllis McClure received a call that Jim would be moved to a room late Friday night.
“Today was a really long day. I’m just beat. But this is great news. They’re moving him tonight. They’ll give him a big dose of medicine so he’ll sleep through the night after all of that moving around. If everything goes like it’s been going, they may release him on Monday.”
“I figure that by the Richmond race, he’ll be ready. We’ll work with our orthopedic doctor at home as soon as we get there. Unfortunately, there’s no way we can run Rockingham.”
To send the McClures a note, go to www.jimmcclure.com. A postal address for cards, etc. will be posted as soon as possible.
I love this job…. all the bikes, booze and sex I can read about.
–JANET CREAMER
ESCAPE TO THE CANTINA–It’s coming down to the bottom line. We’re about to finish the Buttera desk, and for some reason I seem caught up on the numerous deadlines that plague me like a recurring flu, but I love it. Even more I love the touch of a woman, a glass of Jack and a smooth running engine.
We’re planning to ride to the Beverly Hills Bike Show this weekend to rub elbows with the rich and expensive. On second thought, I might just ride on by and blaze back to the ghetto on the coast and … we’ll see.
Enjoy the weekend, it’ll never come around again, and for everyone’s hard work and dedication, join the Cantina. If for nothing else, Jon Towle’s illustrations are priceless. Let’s ride–Bandit
March 15, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 2
DALLAS EASYRIDERS ROCKS–The Dallas Easyriders newsletter just arrived. I’m glad Rick’s (the owner with his wife Tina and my sixth wife Lena) code for writing is not the same as mine. “You know, the more I drink, the better I write,” Rick said recently while eyeing his lovely wife. “I remember why I married her 18 years ago. She looks great with a six-pack in her hand.”
Rick’s Strokers Ice House next to the shop will soon be serving hard liquor, so I’ll be headed back out there to tune up my writing inspiration.
Rick carries what his experience tells him are the top- of-the-line custom manufactured scoots: Big Dog runs a strong first, followed by American Iron Horse, and he’s having good luck with Victory. Whether you want to have your bike serviced, a ground-up built, your scoot detailed, want to rent a scoot, or party, Rick and his family have what you need to get the most out of being a biker. Besides, the fucker’s nuts. Go visit him and take him some riding inspiration when ya do–Miller Lite.
HER WISH, OUR COMMAND–I would love it if you would post my boyfriend’s ’52 Panhead.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON SUPERBIKE RACING– Begins Rebuilding Season with Best-EverFinish at Daytona.
Harley-Davidson’s VR 1000 Superbike racingprogram began its rebuilding season with a solid performance at DaytonaInternational Speedway on Sunday. Mike Smith finished seventh and Pascal Picottefinished 32nd after running in the top 10 for most of the race. Picotte wasin sixth place when a mechanical problem sidelined him in the final laps ofthe 200-mile AMA Superbike season opener. Mat Mladin of Australia won theevent, followed by Eric Bostrom and Kurtis Roberts, both from the UnitedStates.
“We ran a conservative race set-up,” said Director of Racing John Baker.”Our goal was to finish this race and continue our development efforts aimedat improving the performance of the VR 1000.”Smith, who posted the VR’s best-ever finish at Daytona, had to be helpedfrom the bike after the race and was treated at the infield medical centerfor severe muscle cramping in his hips.
“I was really working hard out there and focused on the finish,” said Smith.”I picked up some good points and I’m looking forward to going to SearsPoint with a good handling race bike.”
The VR 1000 Superbike team will compete at Sears Point Raceway in Sonoma, Calif., May 4-6, where Picotte finished third in 1999.
LEGACY VETS LOOKING FOR DOOR PRIZES–Bandit, as you already know, or might not know, I’m a patch holder for the “LEGACY VETS M.C.”, which is part of the “VIETNAM VETS M.C.”, to carry on their memory when they are gone. The reason I write you is, we are having our annual Memorial Day party to raise money for our chapter (Chapter “N” New York ), and we were wondering if you would mind making a donation on behalf of Bikernet. Something to raffle off. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Diesel, Chapter “N” New York, LEGACY VETS M.C.
–“Dan LaBarge”
dansaysftw@hotmail.com
VANCIL/VANCE & HINES WIN ORLANDO– Doug Vancil started his season like he ended his 2000season-with a win. Vancil won the prestigious season opener at OrlandoHarley-Davidson AHDRA Bike Week Nationals. Vancil not only took the win overTony Mattioli of Middlegrove, N.Y., but had qualified No. 1 with a 6.630.
Vancil was the only JIMS Top Fuel rider in a field of 16 to consistently run6’s at the Orlando facility. AND he set new JIMS Top Fuel AHDRA nationalrecords at 6.616 ET and boosted the mph record by over 6 mph to 216.45.
The Vancils are supported by Vance & Hines, Drag Specialties, PerformanceMachine, K & N, PJ 1, B & J Transmission, and Axtell.
–Ray Russell
HANNON RACING WINS DAYTONA– Hannon Racing waited till the last few weeks to refurbishthe hearts of ol’ Mom and WES, their Pro Stock engines of reknown. In fact,the quickest and fastest Pro Stock Harley-Davidson in the world remained ondisplay at Harley-Davidson of Ft. Myers until mid February, when the action tocompete got the best of the now infamous Hannon/Baisley bunch. Not only didDan Baisley win the event, but he ran the lowest ET at 7.695 seconds and HannonRacing now holds the Orlando Speedworld Pro Stock Harley Davidson record witha.7.695 ET.
Bill Hannon said, “We dedicated this race week to Dave Schultz, our friendand member of our great team of mentors. We are proud to have taken the winin his honor,” in a sentiment shared by the entire team at Hannon Racing.
Hannon Racing would like to thank their sponsors for helping maintain thequickest Pro Stock Harley-Davidson in the world. With HannonRacing for 2001 are Axtell Sales, Inc., Baisley Hi-Performance, D & GChassis, Harley-Davidson of Ft. Myers, The Landings Realty, Inc., Red LineOil, MRE, BPM, Dyna Tek, RK Chain, Vanson Leathers, Mastercam.CNC Software,Red Shift Cams and R & D Motorsports.
Hannon: www.hannonracing.com
SWEET REVENGE–For decades, two nude heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. You’ve been such exemplary statues,” he announced to them, “that I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for 30 minutes, in which you can do anything you want.”
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
“You still have 15 more minutes,” said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely, the nude female statue turned to the nude male statue and said, “Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on its head.”
Continued on Page 4
March 15, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
ATTENTION BIKERS–So, you think you’re a biker! Well, now is your chance to come and meetthe man who has been there and done that. Tuesday night, May 1, 2001ABATE Local 9 is proud to have as a guest speaker Keith R. Ball. Betterknown in the biker world as “BANDIT”, Keith was the heart and soul ofwhat was once the bikers bible; Easyriders Magazine. As the editor ofthis magazine for over 20 years he played a major role in establishingthe biker lifestyle.
Along with being kicked out of more bars than most of us have been in, heis also one of the original founders of ABATE. Make plans on being at ourMay meeting and hear some of the very interesting history of ABATE andthe people who helped make us what we are today. Find out why there was aneed for an ABATE. Keith will be there to educate, entertain, answerquestions, and you’ll also have a chance to pick up an autographed copyof his most recent book; Sam “Chopper” Orwell. For those of you who don’tknow about Sam Orwell? he is character that Keith introduced inEasyriders several years ago. Now he is back, still fighting for theright to ride in a society that has outlawed motorcycles.
Where: The Swallows Inn
31785 Camino Capistrano Blvd.
San Juan Capistrano
When: May 1, 2001
Time: 7:00 PM
Host: ABATE Local 9
Information: Steve Bauman (949) 586-9468
DAYTONA REPORT IS UP ON BIKERNET–thanks to JoAnn Bortels of Crazy Horse Painting, “Glad you liked the report. I had 3 bikes in shows down there. I have attached pics of two of the tanksto this email. One is of the Purple Haze chopper that won in Columbus, theother is the top of a black prostreet that was down there. Purple Haze didok in Daytona and Arlen Ness had Click park the black prostreet at hisdisplay as it has many Ness parts on it. But my real killer paint job didnot show up. The customer only showed the bike in Louisville. But it is thewildest paint job I have ever done.
I have attached 3 pics of it. I wishthis bike could have been in Daytona. Maybe next years Rats’ Hole.I worked today, sprayed a red candy softail. But I’m taking the night off.”
BANDIT’S CANTINA LAUNCHES AT THE CRACK OF DAWN ON THE 16TH–Sure you’ve seen it all. You know about Stephen King’s e-book site. Now’s there’s Bandit’s books e-style. You’ve seen soap operas, now enter the grizzly world of Bandit’s Cantina–the series. You’ve stumbled on a $20 on a restaurant floor, as a member you’ll have the opportunity win valuable door prizes. You’ve discover treasure on the discovery channel. In the cantina you’ll find unique fact and treasures from the lost biker planet. It’s all there Friday the 16th of March, Bandit’s Birthday, in the Cantina for a lousy 1.60 a month.
A LADY FROM CALIFORNIA– purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.
He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry lady demanded, “What took you so long?”
The unperturbed doctor replied, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.”
THANKS– for all the info over the last couple months. Here is where we are so far. Near future mods will be wheels and 4-degree trees.
Thanks Again,
Paul Coon
Euless, Texas
Continued on Page 3
March 8, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued From Page 1
EVOLUTION DESK– The last sighting of Bandit was in the garage throwing tools around as the big bastard and NuttBoy began the final assembly of an Evolution-powered desk for Little Jon Buttera. Check it out in the Garage.
HELEN WOLFE UPDATE–Stan Sheppard sent this to me last week along with a photo order. Thought I’d pass it along – I asked his permission to do so and he said OK, so I figured I’d throw in a couple more photos of him. He won in the ET class in October in the AHDRA/JIMS Las Vegas Nationals. He also runs a Pro Gas bike, which he refers to in the article.
Haven’t heard word from Daytona yet. They’re in the thick of it right now. I am there in spirit. Been trying to astral-project – I think it’s working … gotta go!Helen WolfePhotos@HelenWolfe.com
AMERICAN IRONHORSE SALES INCREASE 38 PERCENT–American IronHorse Motorcycle Co. announced that its motorcycle sales grew 38 percent in 2000 to about $11.5 million, and that it sold 500 motorcycles in 2000, up 46 percent from 1999. American IronHorse also added 56 jobs and 17 new dealers in 2000.
NEW CRIME INC. WEAR–Watch in the next couple days as we pump up the line of clothing from Crime Inc. Flex-fit ballcaps that are comfortable as hell. Hooded, zip-up sweatshirts with thumbs in the sleeves to hold them in your gloves while riding–they’re killer. More tops for girls. Long sleeve T-shirts and all with the Crime Inc. logo silk screened or embroideried on each garment.
NOW, FOR OUR RELIGIOUS CORNER–A diagnostic is someone who doesn’t know whether there are two gods.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.I am an agnostic pantheist. I doubt the existence of many gods.Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoysthem very much. –G.K. Chesterton
NEWS FROM THE BIKE WEEK SAND–Weather’s the big story so far; windy, steady 20 and gusting to 30-40 mph.That makes for a wind chill in the 30s, with plenty of sand blowing aroundif the cold doesn’t get to you first. Forget the beach, unlesssandblasting’s a favorite activity.
Talk is mostly about first year without helmet law, against last year’srecord fatality count of 15 deaths, although only 10 were bike-related. Asof Sunday, only two deaths, both involving bikes, despite numerous crashes.
Florida law requires riders without helmets have $10,000 injury insurance.They can’t pull you over to check unless there’s a moving violation,accident or DUI stop.
Preliminary investigation of fatalities by federal Centers for DiseaseControl concluded that, considering the huge crowd, the number of deaths wasn’tabnormal and that there wasn’t a trend.
Another item on the radar is noise. The chamber of commerce is funding a studyby the University of Florida to measure decible levels in variousneighborhoods. An uneducated guess is that they’ll discover it’s pretty damnloud during Bike Week.
Economic claims are for $250 million impact on economy, but that’s anyone’sguess. Still, it’s a lot.
–Agent Anonymous
V-TWIN HOLDINGS SIX-MONTH INCREASES TO 8.4 M–Although V-Twin Holdings’ total revenue for the six months ending December 31 was up compared to the same period in 1999, the company had a decrease in gross profit as a percent of total revenue. This is primarily due to the sale of motorcycles at lower margins during the second quarter ended December 31.
REMEMBERING THE OLD TIMES WITH RON FINCH–I have really enjoyed the interview series you have been doing for HOT ROD BIKES magazine. Your most recent about Ron Finch really brought back some memories of a time long ago in a place far, far away. Everybody in the Detroit area knew about Hatten, Carlini and Wild Bill, the paint gurus of the times in the early to mid ’60s. Ron Finch was tucked away in a little shop in Pontiac. He was just a guy who was getting started and liked to paint motorcycles.
I met Finch sometime in late 1965 or early 1966 when I was working at the first of the mega dealerships in Michigan, Anderson Sales and Service in Pontiac. They had it all, Triumph, BSA, Norton, Matchless, Honda, Ducati and Moto Guzzi. I worked in the parts department and rode a 1965 Triumph TR-6, (I couldn’t come up with the extra few hundred for a Bonneville) it was my first new bike and I loved it. That winter I finally owned a car and did not have to ride to work, so I took the bike apart to get some chrome parts done. One part leads to another and then all of a sudden it was time to shit or get off the pot, PAINT TIME. Finch was around the shop once in a while and we started to talk about what color and next thing I know I’ve got a candy blue metal flake Triumph.
I do vaguely remember Finch’s shop in Pontiac; it was so small you had to go outside to change your mind. There was a bunk or two, always a bunch of people and the refreshments of the era to enjoy. A weed of some kind I think and lots of wine. In 1967 I got tired of my Triumph and sold it to a friend of mine. I walked into Roy’s Harley-Davidson in Pontiac and bought a brand new XLCH ($1,514.00 out the door), the baddest thing on the street. The next day I rode to work at Anderson’s and was fired on the spot for riding a Harley.
My next job was at a shop in Detroit, Shores Motorcycles, so I just didn’t get out to Pontiac that often and hadn’t seen Finch since then. The next time I saw Finch was in 1998 during the Hamster ride into Sturgis, riding one of those weird things he puts together out of welding rods and whatever else he uses. I think it was in E.R. during your tenure, the bike with the tanks as part of the floorboards. I didn’t get a chance to talk with him but he sure looked the same, one of those people you just don’t forget.
Please, in the future stay in the ’70s and later. I don’t want to write you letters about Zundap Super Sabres, NSU Super Fox’s, BSA A-50’s and all the rest of my early bikes.
If I can find it, I’ll send you an article from 1968, I was on the front page of the Detroit Free Press complaining that bikers could not get served at Big Boy restaurants with a picture of me on my CH.
Thanks for the memory jog,
–T.L.
On to Page 3
March 8, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
No, it wasn’t a front flat tire on the steel grating bridge to Terminal Island at 80 mph in a driving downpour–we couldn’t be so lucky. It wasn’t a raid on the headquarters by the Texas Rangers to extradite Bandit back to the Panhandle for crimes he committed when he ran away from high school. More devastating than a hole in a piston in the Barstow desert in the summer on a run to Vegas, Bandit’s girls were struck down with the creepy crud.
Bandit’s been missing ever since and rumored found in a sleezebag motel in Daytona Beach recruiting new women. Hey, but all is not lost. When you read the news you’ll immediately discover that we haven’t missed the old bastard one bit. Let’s check it out:
DAYTONA BEACH REPORT– On the first Saturday of the annual pilgrimage by the planet’s entirebiker population to the Sunshine State, Agent Anonymous reports in toheadquarters on the status (excellent) of the Bike Week Bikernet billboard.
Prominent display, directly across from legendary Robison’s former H-Ddealership one block from Ridgewood, it will be seen by tens of millions asthey languish in Speedway Boulevard gridlock while enroute to Beach Avenueattractions and Main Street shenanigans.
Bikernet dayroll performed admirably, as expected. Unique tool pouchfeature kept tie wraps in quick reach for temp repairs when riding buddy’sdistributor (’46 Knuckle) wouldn’t stay in advanced postion during torridI-4 cross-state run.
Bikernet baseball tee cooly reflects sultry heat of Florida springtime sun,to the envy of fellow biker brethren who slowly bake while wearing solarblack look-alike tees.
STATES ATTEMPT TO LEGISLATE MOTORCYCLE PASSENGERS–Hawaii, Maryland and Pennsylvania have recently introduced bills to restrict motorcycle passengers. Hawaii proposes to prohibit passengers under age 12; Maryland’s bill would require the use of passenger footrests; and Pennsylvania proposes to prohibit passengers under the age of 18.
A WOMAN… went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend afortune.
“Well,” said the clerk, “I have a very large bullfrog. They say it’sbeen trained to give blowjobs!” “Blowjobs!?” the woman replied. “Ithasn’t been proven but we’ve sold 30 of them this month,” he said. Thewoman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it’s true…nomore blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy’s ability to her husband, he was extremelyskeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she maynever need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots andpans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds.She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frogreading cookbooks. “What are you two doing at this hour?” she asked.
The husband replied, “If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass isgone.
–Gunracer
BUELL BLAST PURCHASE GUARANTEE PROGRAM ANNOUNCED–Buell announced the Buell Blast Purchase Guarantee. The program states that when a customer buys a new Buell Blast, they have a full year, from the original date of purchase, to trade it in on a new Buell V-Twin or Harley-Davidson motorcycle, and receive a trade-in allowance equal to their original base purchase price (up to MSRP) at participating dealers. The offer ends July 5.
BIKE SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT–There are two bike shows coming up. ?One is in Beverly Hills, Calif., thatCraig Germeroth has been working on and the other is in St. Paul, Minn., that Donnie Smith and American Thunder are sponsoring. Details follow on both. ?Go and show your support!!!
Beverly Hills Run ? Should be 100bikes and 300 cars. Separate trophies for Hamster bikes so people don’t gettheir panties in a bunch. Check in is 7:30 a.m. till 9 a.m. Sunday March 18.Trailers can come inside Saturday with security provided by the show.American Thunder TV will be a sponsor and is expected to do a nice piece onus. We have $6 million in show prizes.
Donnie Smith/American Thunder ShowThis will be a great end to our long winter. ?The show is , March 18 at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium in St. Paul. If you’re showingyour bike, you can bring it over and set up on Saturday from 1 p.m.-6 p.m. ?Teardown is at 5 p.m. Sunday.?This is a bike show/swap meet. The show starts at10 a.m. Sunday. ?Be there.
Also, you Minnesota and Midwestern guys, the Spring Flood Run is on April 21,leaving Whiskey Junction at 10 a.m. or meet at Prescott, Wis. ?
–Correspondent Patty, reporting for Bikernet in Minneapolis.
HOLLISTER CONNECTION–“Personal Message” to Commander Ball/Bikernet Crew, if y’all are reallygoing to make Hollister this year, we want ya to know you will be morethan welcome. The red carpet and all that shit. This is just a view fromone of the places we can provide, so y’all can get away from the crowd,if ya want. Monterey in the summer can get damp, so wear your $300tequila proof rain jacket. Hollister is only an hour ride for me fromMonterey; that way you ride 35 minutes. Hold it! If I get a good night’ssleep and we tour by Ocean Thunder for a mornin’snap, we might leave therest of them f…ers and I can draft ya:
— Ride On! Wino Joe
The sneaky bastard creeping across the background is the infamous Wino Joe.
BIKERNET DISCOUNTS STREETWARE CATALOG–In an effort to cut you guys a break on apparel during down economic times, we’ve cut the prices for all Streetware apparel and accessories by 10 percent.
KILJAY RACING UPDATE–Thank you for posting the “Kiljay” racing update onyour Web site. Here is a photo of my crew chief, Killer,with the new engine and another one showing what a 4-5/8bore cylinder looks like. Did you hear that Jim Mclurecrashed in Orlando?
You are right, this motor is a monster. The bore is 4-5/8 inches and the stroke is 4-3/4 inches. Each cylinder is 80 cubic inchesfor a total of 160. The 4-cam cases were custom made by Delkronto Killer’s specs. They have a 1-1/2 raised deck, which meant that Axtell had to custom make the barrels. The heads were top fuel blank heads and Hannan’s Machine shop has set them up to run on gas. The intake valves are 2.3 inches in diameter and we are running an .810 lift cam. The heads flowed 400 CFMat 28 inches of mercury.
We punched all the numbers into a motor horsepowercomputer program and it is telling us we will have over 300 HPon gas only. We are also running a nitrous oxide system with a Schnitz progressive controller, which will allow us to add up toanother 100 HP power if needed (and my balls are big enough).
To get the fuel into the engine, we are running two Super Dcarburetors each with three thunder jets. The heads we set upto run a carburetor out of each side of the engine. ChicagoJoe is custom making the intake manifolds and doing the engineassembly. The parts for this engine were ordered over 16 monthsago and our cost for the engine is over $20,000. I’m indeep shit if I blow this baby. We are estimating redline on thisengine is 6,800 RPM.
–Stan
AMA UNVEILS NEW INITIATIVE TO REDUCE MOTORCYCLE CRASHES–The AMA’s new program, Motorcyclists Matter, aims to reduce motorcycle-car accidents by increasing penalties for car drivers who injure or kill motorcyclists, develop a mandatory course for offenders and raise awareness of motorcyclists through public information campaigns. ABATE of Pennsylvania and Ohio are actively involved with the AMA on this.
A FUNERAL SERVICE– is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, “Watch out for the fucking wall!”
HAWAIIAN SHIRTS COME TO BIKERNET– In Bandit’s absence, we’ve contacted Dragonfly, the fastest growing, wild-assed, too-hip Hawaiian shirt manufacturer to come along in years. It’s run by three brothers and overseen by their dad, who has been in the garment business for 40 years. They are biker Hawaiian shirts to the bone and soon to be available in the Gift Shop. The prices will be more than resonable and there’s no charge for shipping and handling. The shirt on the right is licensed by Gibson guitars. Be sure to stay tuned and check ’em out. In a couple of weeks we’ll be launching the shirts once the girls come around to model them. Bandit will be back for that.
NEW IRONHORSE CUSTOM– This Over-Kill Trike was built by Don Center in Roswell, N.M., where everything is distorted. This bike will be on display at the Beverly Hills Bike Show on March 17. IronHorse is a proud sponsor of Bikernet. Paul Venturo is Don’s main mechanic on this project. It’s powered by a ZZ4 Corvette engine with aluminum heads and it’s blown. It’s 500 horsepower and Don plans to race us to Sturgis on this trike. The trike is 14 feet long and 84 inches wide. Don builds these bikes turnkey for $26,000 base price and he will build the engines up to 720 horsepower. Stock trikes are 320 horsepower.
For years Don built Bourget bikes until Mrs. Bourget beat him up behind a bar, and he started building trikes. Many of his show-stopping two-wheelers were featured in Biker and Easyriders. He’s been building these monsters for five years and they’ve come along way. Talk about an open framed rocket ship. Bandit’s negotiating with Don to afford the Bikernet crew a two-week head start to the Badlands. That should do it.
On to Page 2