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MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE–On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While they are waiting, they begin to wonder, “Could they possibly get married in Heaven?”

When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he leaves.

The couple sits and waits for an answer. It takes a couple of months. While they are waiting, they discuss whether or not they should get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.

“What if it doesn’t work?” they wondered, “are we stuck together forever?”

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informs the couple, “you CAN get married in Heaven.”

Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”

St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

“What’s wrong?” asks the frightened couple.

“OH, C’MON!” St. Peter shouts, “it took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”

WEEKLY SPECIALS–Every week the Bikernet crew will come up with a bucks-saving special on a book, shirt, HA vest or… Check out the gift shops in the Bikernet Gulch for totally secure ordering, great prices and convenience — you don’t need to leave your garage and run all over the state to find what you need.

If you think we should be carrying a particular line of products, drop me a nasty note. I can take it–Bandit@bikernet.com.

VANCIL WINS IN CANADA–Doug Vancil of Albuquerque, N.M., pulled his Screamin’Eagle Nitro Harley by Vance& Hines/Drag Specialties out of the trailer and ripped off a 6.456 ET at215.46 mph for No. 1 qualifier at Grand Bend, Ontario, at the second annualMopar Performance Parts Nationals presented by Castrol. With ultraconsistency, Vancil dashed through the field, never leaving the 6.5s for hisfirst IHRA win of the season.

Breaking the bridesmaid syndrome, after two previous runner ups at Rockinghamand Richmond, Vancil defeated Steve Stordeur of Mancuso Racing in the finalswith a 6.551 at 204.35 mph over 6.633 ET at 209.93 mph.

The Vancils are supported by Vance & Hines, Drag Specialties, PerformanceMachine, K & N, Valvoline, B & J Transmission and Axtell.

POLAND’S WORST AIR DISASTER– occurred when a two-seat Cessna 152 crashedinto a cemetery today.

Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expectthat number to climb as digging continues into the night.

BREVARD CULTURAL ALLIANCE PRESENTS ART OF HARLEYS– One of the ways that the Brevard Cultural Alliance raises money for their Youths at Risk Arts Program is by having this yearly event. The money goes to teach kids art instead of “muggin’ and thuggin’.” Just in case you’re doing one of them “what’s that got to do with motorcycles?” where do you think custom bike builders, painters and tattoo artists come from?

It was a fun day and a well-organized event. There was a bike show, some real art, a bike rodeo, music and, of course, a bunch of vendors.

I got to see a lot of friends and have a bunch of beers so it was a great day for me. The only part was I didn?t win the bike they raffled off. Of course I need another one just as much as Bandit. HEY YOU NEVER HAVE TOO MANY MOTORCYCLES!!!!!!!!

–ROGUE

AN OUTRAGE–“It is an outrage that 10,446 law enforcement agencies wasted their time and energy to browbeat motorists for not wearing a seatbelt — in a nation where 90,000 women are raped annually; 15,000 people are murdered; 400,000 people are robbed; and 900,000 people are assaulted. That’s not public safety — it’s public harassment. It’s a criminal misuse of law enforcement resources, and Americans should be outraged by it.”

— Steve Dasbach, the Libertarian Party’s national director, reacts with outrage to Operation ABC Mobilization, a nation-wide Memorial Day weekend seatbelt-crackdown sponsored by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. ABC, in case you need an ipecac (look it up), stands for America Buckles Up Children.

CHROME SPECIALTIES GIRLS–This is just a taste of the world of Chrome Specialties Girls we hope to feature here on Bikernet. The cutest babe on the CSI staff, Dawn Marchand, their media manager, handled the shoot. I’ll bet she did… Some of the girls are local Dallas and Fort Worth “Hooters” girls and Dawn’s notion is to use the shots with the CSI 2001 bikes for ads, promo, Web site screen savers, posters/calendars and more. With Dawn groping this situation, I’m sure there will be more. You’ll see the girls pop up around Bikernet and in the Chrome Specialties Department.

AHDRA ROCKY MOUNTAIN NITRO NATIONALS PRESENTED BY RIVERA ENGINEERING/PRIMO BELT DRIVES AND THE GATES RUBBER COMPANY, BANDIMERE SPEEDWAY, DENVER, COLORADO, JUNE 16-17–What do you get when you combine 200 mph motorcycles, live bands, drag racing school, camping, tons of vendors and a chance to win a brand new Harley-davidson motorcycle in a setting as beautiful as the Rocky Mountains? Give up? Announcing the 2001 AHDRA Rocky Mountain Nitro Nationals.

The action returns to Bandimer Speedway July 16-17 in one fire breathing weekend. See JIMS Top Fuelers, S&S Cycle Pro Stock, Joker Machine Modified, Dynojet Street Pro and Andrews ET racers compete for a piece of the $35,000 purse. Enter your bike in the ride-in bike show. Get off the street and on the rack with Hot Rod Bikes How to Go Drag Racing School. Enjoy great food and beer while watching hot bands. Plus be a part of the Miracle Ride of the Rockies, the charity ride that raised over $100,000 for the Muscular Dystrophy Association last year. Be there, be there.

WHITEHORSE PRESS RELEASES NEW SUMMER RIDING CATALOG–The WhiteHorse Press gang is now distributing “Sam ‘Chopper’ Orwell,” so you need to check their lastest catalog to see what they wrote about me. Their summer/fall catalog contains 64 full-color pages jam-packed with unique stuff for bikers. Their extensive catalog focuses on riding and touring and includes quality books, videos, riding accessories, an expanded camping line, dozens of classic biker movies and a selection of handy tools to carry with you on your next adventure. You can order a catalog by going to their Web site at www.WhitehorsePress.com. Don’t miss it.

HEY BANDIT–My bike was in the November Bikernet Bike Show “In memory of Justin”. It won first place in its class. Every year I put together a poker run and bike show that I call Run For Breath–In Memory of Justin Pullin. The run will be held July 22, here in Charlotte, N.C.

Last year we raised $6,000. At the end of the run there were over 1,000 bikes present. Every year it gets bigger. For more information check our web site www.h-dofcharlotte.com. Hope to see you there.

–Mike Pullin
Harley-Davidson of Charlotte
(704) 847-4647

I’ll be there, Mike.–Bandit

LADIES CHOICE–A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattooartist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her rightthigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him toput “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good.The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with”Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too.As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattooartist asks, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me whyyou had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”

She says, “I’m sick and tired of my husband complainingall the time that there’s nothing good to eat betweenThanksgiving and Christmas!”

LET’S BEAT FEET–The Buell is apart and off to paint. NuttBoy’s ProStreet rolling chassis is off the lift on wheels. We got our stats from last month and we’re hanging at 1.4 million hits a month and 78,000 user sessions. The word on the street is that the largest motorcycle site out there is about to clip its computer power cord. They’re toast.

If that’s the case and you frequent Motorcycle World, let us know what we can do to better Bikernet for you, or what service they provided that you’ll pine away for in the night.

All this business bullshit is just that. Business is a gamble and I’m sure they gave it their best shot. We’re not doing this to be “in business.” It’s what we do ’cause we love motorcycles and it’s a blast and it gives us the freedom to work on bikes and hang out when we’re not starving to death. Sure, I wish I could afford a new truck, but I’d rather have the freedom any day. Besides, if I was tied to a desk, who would be here to meet Sin Wu at noon? Ride forever.–Bandit

In the next week we will post an interview with John about the clone industry and his success. Regarding the overall industry, you’ll see below that Harley-Davidson is expanding substantially for the future and its new model/water-cooled engine combination that will be released shortly.

I had a meeting today with a publisher from the cruising market, and all feel that the market, the lifestyle and the road ahead is strong. Let’s get to the news:

QUANTUM UPDATE– Jim Cheal and I attended a bankruptcy hearing in Orlando on June 6 forAmerican Quantum Cycles.

At this hearing, the corporate shell was sold for $66,000. The money willgo into the trustees fund.

At this time priorities are trustee expenses and then employees back pay. Itis expected that this money will be used by the trustee to gain more andhopefully some day it will be enough to pay employees.

— ROGUE

BIKERNET ONGOING BIKE SHOW MAY WINNERS–Enter now, it’s free! All winners receive famous Bikernet show trophies and prizes from: HA Leathers, Crime Inc. shirts, “Orwell” signed books, Samson Exhaust gift certificates or JIMS Components…

In the “Buell” Category
R. Joe Yenik
N. Catasauqua, Penn.

In the “Radical Custom” Category
Matt Burris
Terre Haute, Ind.

In the “Sportster” Category
Chris Wright
Auckland, New Zealand

In the “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Bob Smith
Singapore, Singapore

In the “Vintage” Category
Greg LeBlanc
North Hollywood, Calif.

In the “Pro-Street” Category
David Anderson
Hadley, Mass.and
Rich Santerre
Manchester, Conn.

OLD GEORGE’S PHYSICAL–George’s Physical70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?”

George replied, “God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I’m done.”

“Wow,” commented Dr. Smith, “that’s incredible!”

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George’s wife. “Thelma,” he said, “George is just fine. Physically he’s great. But I had to call because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and?then (poof!) the light goes off?”

Thelma exclaimed, “That old fool! He’s pissing in the refrigerator again!”

Bikernet.com is happy to announce its association beginning this year with the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show produced by Jim Gianatsis and Gianatsis Design, publishers of the popular FastDates.com calendars and Web site. Now the premier streetbike event on the West Coast with an expanded two-day format, the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show draws the top custom bike builders, and bike and product manufacturers from across America. New big rig exhibitor displays are confirmed this year from Drag Specialties, RC Components and Pro One, among some 100 manufacturers. Included are displays by many of America’s premier builders, including Jesse James, Jim Nasi, Paul Yafee and Harold Pontarelli.

Meet Penthouse Pet of the Year Zdenka and Playboy 40th Anniversay Playmate Anna Marie Goddard in person.A previous Iron and Lace Calendar girl Anna Marie Goddard is back in the 2002 FastDates.com Calendars, premiering at our big White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show on July 21-22. Together with Anna will be Penthouse 2001 Pet of the Year Zdenka, SBK World Superbike trophy girl Taylor McKegney, and sexy new calendar girls Amanda Swiston and Marina Pahomova. Plus the beautiful Miss Hollywood Beer from new show beer sponsor, one of the West Coast’s premier micro brewed beers. They’ll be there both days for you to meet and have them personally autograph their new 2002 calendars for you.

But that’s just the beginning! There’s a Bikernet party Saturday night!Saturday will be a special Bikernet day at the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show with the White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, and then at night, aboard the Queen Mary, a fireworks show and party. The party will be centered in the ship’s Observation Bar with a live jazz band and special activities and giveaways hosted by Bikernet.com. Bring your buddies, run your bikes on the dyno, pick up the hot new Iron & Lace and Garage Girls calendars and meet the beautiful models!

MOTORCYCLE CONTEST INFORMATION–$30 registration fee includes: 1.) A free calendar of your choice. 2.) Show admission for the bike owner. 3.) General admission to the Queen Mary, a $46 value if purchased separately. Plus you’ll have a chance to win almost $20,000 in prizes and trophies. Classes for: Radical Pro Custom, Street Custom, Street Performance, Vintage to 1956, Street Classic Post-1956, Street Sportbikes and Racebikes. No pre-entry. No phone calls, please. This is a fun, low-pressure contest.*

Come and enjoy the day. Some winners may be invited to have their bikes photographed for the next year’s calendar. BIKES DO NOT NEED A MIKUNI CARBURETOR TO WIN! The bike contest is only on Sunday the 22nd. Enter from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. the day of the show. All bikes must remain until 5 p.m. show closing.

SHOW INFORMATION–To get to the Calendar Motorcycle Show at the Queen Mary, Long Beach Harbor, Los Angeles:From Interstate 405 in Los Angeles take the I-710 Long Beach Freeway south to the Queen Mary.The 2001 event is July 21, noon to 8 p.m.; July 22, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. A FREE Bikernet.com party and fireworks show onboard the Queen Mary Saturday night at 9 p.m.For additional spectator information and ship hotel reservations, contact

The Queen Mary at (562) 435-3511.Additional details at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm

CANADIAN OIL SHORTAGE–There are a lot of folks who can’t understand how we came to have an oilshortage here in Canada.Well, there’s a very simple answer…

Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn’t know we were gettinglow.The reason for that is purely geographical, all our oil is in Alberta andNew Foundland.All our dipsticks are in Ottawa!

HARLEY-DAVIDSON TO EXPAND IN WAUWATOSA–By THOMAS CONTENTof the Journal Sentinel staffHarley-Davidson Motor Co. is planning a significant expansion of its product development center in Wauwatosa.

The planned expansion comes just four years after the Milwaukee motorcycle manufacturer opened the research and development center at 11800 W. Capitol Drive. The company is hoping to begin construction in July.

The addition is one of three major expansions being considered by the company this year as it pours record profits back into operations in an effort to meet ongoing demand for its motorcycles.The Wauwatosa expansion would add 140,000 square feet to a 218,000-square-foot building.

According to applications submitted to the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources, the addition would enable Harley-Davidson to double the number of testing cells it uses to evaluate engine powertrains.

The company also is planning a 75,000-square-foot office building for engineering and product development workers, plus a 65,000-square-foot expansion of its engine and cycle testing laboratory.

The plans call for adding eight cells to test motorcycle engines that are being developed. The engines are tested for noise, handling and vibration. Vehicle and structural component testing would also occur at the facility once the new engines are placed on test motorcycles.

Harley spokesman Joe Hice wouldn’t comment on how many new employees the company would hire as a result of the expansion.”Harley-Davidson has experienced double-digit growth every quarter literally for the last 15 years, and we expect to continue growing,” he said. “With that growth will be new employment opportunities.”

BIKERNET WELCOMES BROS CLUB–We all need a respectable source for insurance and a place to call if we break down. Now it’s here on Bikernet. I’m already picking up health insurance and having them evaluate my bike insurance.

I’m impressed with their roadside service. If the provider doesn’t show up with the proper tools or doesn’t give you the service you need, they’ll fire the bastards. Dana Coates, the man behind the operation, is constantly monitoring the quality of the service given. Check the site, Dana is always available to give insurance quotes.

NEW PANHEADS FROM CSI–This is a shot of Keith Ruxton (above), the man who built the world’s fastest motorcycle (322.15 mph), standing with his first new 88-inch Panhead engine. Keith developed the Pandamonium for Chrome Specialties. Check out their site. Tomorrow we will release a substantial article on the Panhead project with particulars on American engine components and break-in tips. Watch for it.

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THANKS MAN–I WAS RUNNING PRETTY LEAN. POINTS ARE ALL RIGHT BUT I GOT THOSE CHEAP AUTOZONE PLUGS AND I THINK IT LIKES ‘EM A LITTLE HIGHER QUALITY. SO FAR SO GOOD. I HOPE TO GET AN S&S CARB ON IT SOON. THE BENDIX IS PRETTY TEMPERMENTAL. I ALSO RAISED THE FLOAT LEVEL SO THE BOWL FILLED UP A LITTLE MORE AND THAT SEEMED TO HELP. STILL A LITTLE POPPY BUT NOT CONSISTENTLY.

I DON’T MIND, I’D RATHER RIDE ONE OF THESE OLD ONES THAT ARE SIMPLER TO FIGURE OUT AND TAKE APART. AT LEAST YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ‘EM.I APPRECIATE THE INPUT. I HAVE GOTTEN ADVICE FROM YOUR SITE BEFORE AND IT’S THE ONLY PLACE I’VE FOUND WHERE ANYONE KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

SO, RIDE FAR, PARTY HARD AND SLEEP SMILIN’!! YOUR BRO’ SLINGER

We make every effort to answers letters on a daily basis. We may not know what the fuck we’re talking about, but you’ll hear something. –Bandit

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Between The Horse, the bikes, the shop, Bikernet, Sturgis and athousand other things going on, it seems like there’s absolutely no time left.Shit, I can’t complain, I’m doing what I like to do. I hope you will get thesneak preview of the WCC bike this week. (We did, and there’s a tech on it in the garage) It’s locked so no one can see ittill it’s done, except Bikernet visitors (I always hide projects untilthey’re done).

The powdercoaters are taking their sweet time to do my parts.I guess they don’t understand the “schedule,” which means Hurry! Maybe I’lljust polish the damn parts and forget about the black. Anyway, it’s beenraining here so we don’t have to worry about riding, nor sweating our assesoff at the shop.

The “Desertores” did their second run of the summer, over 200 bikes showedup. For 10 bucks you got some goodies, free towing, ambulance service andpolice escort. Dinner was six bucks more. I guess they are showing the localHOG chapter how rides are done, and all the money was donated to the kids.They even had a bus for the broken down riders and tired ass wives. Way togo guys !

A group of friends is riding Route 66, said to report that one of them had anaccident and is in the hospital’s intensive care. They were riding inOklahoma heading to Amarillo, Texas, when his Road King’s front tire blew upand they lost control. He was riding bitch and his girlfriend was steering. Seems like he hit the curb head first. (He had no helmet on, but I humblythink that it could have been worse with a lid.) His girlfriend justsuffered some minor road rash. Witnesses say that she managed to slow thebike down to about 10 mph before both of them were bucked. We are all prayingfor Cucho, we hope you do too. (I don’t have the full details, but Ifigured the more people wishing him well, the better.)

The Horse magazine will be featuring a few choppers from Puerto Rico in thefollowing issues, the first article and girly photos are already at thelayout tableWe hope to keep on doing these for a long time.

Sturgis is less than a month away. We will be riding around and takingphotos. If you are a Bikernet user and see some PR plates, please come overand say hi.

See ya next week.–Jose – Caribbean Custom Cycles, San Juan PR

SPORTSTER HUNT–Thanks Bandit, for going out of your way for me. I am trying to find a bike for my friend’s ol’ lady. She is looking for something that runs good, isn’t chopped out and is about $6,000 or less. Most any Harley, but running, you know what I mean? This is her first bike. Thanks again brother, ride free, Mo, mohd2@altavista.com

MODIFIED LOGO–I wanted to do something for ya’ll at Bikernet for all the great time youhave given me on your Web site, so I did a little graphic manipulation on thelogo and now I’m sending you a copy to see what you think. Gave itsome 3-D type looks and other minor changes. I was killing time at work and thoughtwhat a better way than playing with graphics in Adobe.

By the way….ORWELL was GREAT!Please write more like it soon 🙂

–MikeC
Digital Matrix Systems
Dallas, Texas

It sucks, Mike. Start over.–Bandit

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD– Little Red Riding Hood was packing her things. Her mother asked, ?Where are you going, Lil’ Red??

Red said, ?To grandma’s.? Her mother said, ?Okay,but watch out for the Big Bad Wolf. He’ll pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and freak your little red socks off.?

Lil’Red replied, ?Don’t worry, I’ve got a gun.? So about a mile down the road, Lil’ Red met the Three Little Pigs. Theyasked where she was going and she said, ?Grandma’s house.?

The Pigs warned,?Watch out for the Big Bad Wolf. He’ll pull up your little red dress, pull downyour little red panties and freak your little red socks off!?

She told them, ?Don’t worry, I’ve got a gun.?

About two more miles down the road, the Big Bad Wolf lept out of theforest and grabbed Lil’ Red. He shouted ?Ha! I finally caught you!?

Shecried, ?Don’t tell me you’re gonna pull up my litle red dress, pull down mylittle red panties and freak my little red socks off.?

?Yes I am,? said the Wolf, drooling.

?No, you ain’t,? said Little Red.

?What do you mean,? said the Wolf, taken aback.

Lil’ Red pulled up her little red dress, pulleddown her little red panties, pulled out her big silver gun and said, ?Nope,you’re gonna eat me like it says in the book.?

SUPER-VEE REPORT– Thought I’d bug you about your low opinion of Super Vees. I put some 700 mountain (up to 16,000 feet) miles on it a couple of weekends ago; rain, snow, hail, it just kept on going. 90 mph at 2,700 rpm and don’t even get on the cam till about 2,000 rpm–I have to run a 20 tooth trans sprocket (i.e. sidecar gearing) to be able to get out of second in town or into fourth below 70 mph on the freeway.

First kick starts (kicker only), wet or dry. About 30 mpg and probably leaks more oil than it uses.

I was off on a long run the other day and blew the 11/2″ Primo belt, had to put on a used spare at the side of the road with just my tool roll–in pouring rain! Rode it some 75 miles home then sold the used spare for $50. Now I got two new belts but no idea if either will last more than 1,500 miles. Everything is properly aligned, 1-inch play (cold), no signs of wear, no wheelies or burnouts, open application, pouring rain, blows at 55-60 mph in fourth–go figure! I reckon: too many cubes, too few inches. Have to run chain or 3-inch belt if they keep tearing up on me. Anyhow, the Vee engine just pours out power fast as you open the tap.

The stroker Harleys and Indian I’ve ridden just weren’t in the same ballpark. Long mountain upgrades really test an engine’s ponies; Indians are maybe better than Hogs on hills, but the Vee was tugging at my throttle hand like a pitbull in heat.

–Allan.

THE CREATOR RULES–When the Creator was making the world and all its inhabitants, hecalled man aside. I’m bestowing upon you,” the Creator said, “20years of active sex life.”

Man was dismayed. “Only 20 years?” he protested. “Great One,that isn’t enough. Can’t you add a few more years?”

But the Creator shook his head. It was 20 years or nothing, soman glumly sat down.

The monkey was called forth. He was offered 20 years of activesex life too. But the monkey suggested humbly that 10 years would be quiteenough since he seldom lived longer than that anyway.

Immediately the man leaped up. “Can I have your extra 10 years?”he cried excitedly.

“Of course,” said the monkey graciously.

The lion was then called forth and the Creator made the same offer.Twenty years of active sex life.

The lion gravely shook his mane.”MightyOne,” he roared, “I’m a monogamous animal: therefore, 10 years will beenough for me.” Again, the man stood up.

“Can I have the lion’s sharealso?”he asked eagerly. Both the lion and the Creator agreed, and the man satdown elated.

The donkey was then called up, but when the Creator offered him 20 years, he balked. “Sire,” he brayed, “I want to reserve some timeforeating sweet clover. Ten years is ample time for me.”The Creator nodded, then turned and looked at man. “I suppose youwant his 10 years as well?” Man smirked and nodded.

“So be it,” said the Creator and turned away.

And that is how it came to pass that man has 20 years of activesex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion about it,and 10 years of making an ass of himself.

–Chris T.

STURGIS ALERT–Johnny Pag just told me that he has a five-bedroom house available in Spearfish forthe entire Sturgis week, Saturday to Saturday. If anyone needs it, it is $2,500 forthe week. Contact Kerry at (909) 928-0309.Please put the word out. MNSportie@aol.com

THE COP BIKE BOOK–Buck Lovell is searching for old cop and antique cop bike photos to beused in a book called “Old Cop Bike.” Old Cop will feature manynever-before published photos of police motorcycles and the men who rodethem from 1903 to 1974. The book will feature only black and white photos asfound or contributed by various police agencies and motorcycle historybuffs. If you have an old cop bike photo you can contribute, please send itto:

Buck Lovell
C/O Chrome Pony Marketing
PMB 389
2621 Green River Suite 105
Corona, Calif. 92882-7454

All photos will be returned immediately after scanning………..

SAVAGE DOWN, BUT NOT OUT–Savage Williamson from Easyriders sent the following report. If you are a fan of his excellent writing skills, drop him a note:

Bad news, I’m sorry to report. You have likely noticed that I haven’tbeen e-mailing my columns as usual for the past two months; my capablecolleague Kit Maira at Biker magazine has been filling in for me (again, Kit,I appreciate the hell out of it, bro).

I had hoped this would be a temporary measure, but it turns out thatwhat I’d thought was simple diabetes onset (preliminarily Type II, but nowType I) was actually a symptom of something quite a bit more serious.

The medicos have ascertained a sizeable tumor on my pancreas, and it’salready at Stage 2, rapidly growing to Stage 3. These bastards are alwaysmalignant, and unfortunately pancreatic cancer is the fastest-killing of themall, so I have anywhere from two weeks to perhaps six months left before I maybe doing daisy push-ups. –Savage Williamson, SavageWilliamson@aol.com

ANOTHER STURGIS ROOM ALERT–Hi Guys,If anyone is looking for a room in Sturgis this year, there is another oneavailable. Richard and Ann Harrison will not be able to go this year, buthave a room at the Days Inn in Spearfish. If you’re interested, contact Ann Harrison at okiehamster@aol.com or (405) 751-9257.

–Patty MNSportie@aol.com

CYRIL ANNOUNCES NEW ONLINE STORE–To keep up with the demand for his accessories and the expansion of his online orders, Cyril Huze is proud to announce the launching of a new online store at http://store.cyrilhuze.com. The online store is the result of five months of research and development to improve content, ease of navigation and security of the ordering process.

The new site features a richer content with an expanded line of accessories, a faster navigation with a new parts classification, an easier decision process with each accessory linked to the descriptions and images of related components. Buyers have the ability to create an account with password, to keep personal information on a secure encrypted server for future shopping and the ability to buy with a credit card, by check or money order. After purchasing an accessory, a client can also go back online at any time to check the status of his order from shipping to delivery.

The site was designed by Damien Huze of Huze Solutions (http://www.huzesolutions.com) with the assistance of Steve Wilding for all back end administration programming. The new online store can be accessed directly at http://store.cyrilhuze.com or from Cyril Huze Website at http://www.cyrilhuze.com.

01NR22 – NHTSA MOTORCYCLE SAFETY PLAN REQUIRES YOUR ACTION–Washington, D.C. — Within days of a pro-helmet-law physician being named as its new leader, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration launched a poorly veiled attack on motorcyclists in the form of a plan to enhance motorcycle safety.

?[R]iding a motorcycle continues to be a risky endeavor,? warns the Motorcycle Safety Improvement Plan, published in the June 25, 2001, edition of the Federal Register. ?It is in fact the most hazardous means of travel in the United States.? Now open for public comment, the plan seeks to reduce motorcycle-related fatalities by 5 percent by 2005 ?by making progress in these areas:

?Improved rider and passenger safety
?Safer motorcycles
?Improved motorcycle crash data and analysis
?Safer riding environment.?

The plan reflects the imbalance that has governed thinking in the agency throughout must of its 35-year history, with training taking a back seat to vehicle improvements, more research and more analysis. (See the June 8 MRF MRF RIDERS? ALERT 01NR20 that discusses the revelations in the June 11, 2001, NEW YORKER article). Meanwhile, State Motorcyclists? Rights Organizations (SMROs) and the MRF are in their fifth month of advocating to Congress an aggressive, straight-forward approach to motorcycle safety, including a no-strings resource injection to state-run rider training programs and a national program of enhancing motorist awareness of motorcycles. Throughout the USA, the waiting period for vital safety training often reaches 10 months and more. And, year after year, 6 out of 10 fatalities involving a motorcycle and a car is the fault of the motorist, not the motorcyclist.

SMROs are way ahead of the federal agency in this regard, with motorist awareness training advancing in states like Massachusetts led by the Modified Motorcycle Association of Massachusetts (MMA of Mass.) and a ?Vehicular Assault? statute in Washington state. Championed by a host of groups including the Washington Road Riders Association, the new law prescribes felony penalties for negligent or reckless drivers whose misconduct causes injury. The MMA has filed a lawsuit against the Commonwealth of Massachusetts that, among other issues, seeks Court action to enjoin its Governor’s Highway Safety Bureau from squandering pending public money (its Motorcycle Safety Fund) on such brochures as “How to tell an Unsafe Helmet.” MMA?s goal is to put the money where it belongs by directing the $2 each of the more than 116,000 annual motorcycle registrations into rider education and the promotion and advertising of motorcyclist safety and motorist awareness.

Lobbying for helmet laws tops NHTSA?s list. ?Wearing a helmet that meets the federal safety requirement will save the lives of motorcycle riders,? NHTSA proclaims flatly, citing a study of Texas and Arkansas soundly debunked by ABATE of Massachusetts. ?As NHTSA tracks motorcycle crash experiences in states which repeal their helmet laws, the agency will use the results of Texas and Arkansas studies to publicize the protective value of helmet use. This will position NHTSA to implement similar studies in Kentucky, Louisiana, Florida and other states that may repeal mandatory helmet use laws.?

The agency is also considering revising the federal helmet standard ?to strengthen the standard?s enforcement effectiveness (e.g., to distinguish ?fake? helmets from legitimate helmets).? Mandatory helmet laws and so-called ?standards? for ?enforcement effectiveness? have led directly to widespread abuse of riders? civil rights, as documented forcefully all year by ABATE of Massachusetts.

Is attire control next? The agency announced it will ?partner with appropriate organizations? and embark on a ?five-year protective gear promotion campaign.?

Regarding ?safer motorcycles,? the agency announced intention to study braking technology and ?hopes to use the test data to support its motorcycle brake harmonization proposals? (e.g., linked brakes and anti-lock braking systems).Motorcyclists nationwide must read this document and make their voices heard. This is a draft of the U.S. Government?s plan for your safety. And agree or disagree, in whole or in part you must let this agency and your U.S. Congressman know where you stand. Act today.

Here?s what to do:

1.Read the plan. http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/people/injury/pedbimot/motorcycle/motorcycleimprovement.html

2.Submit written comments not later than August 9, 2001. You must refer to ?Docket Number NHTSA-2001-9595? in your letter:

?via mail (two copies) to Docket Management System, U.S. Department of Transportation, PL401, 400 Seventh Street, S.W., Washington, D.C. 20590-0001.

?Via e-mail by logging on to http://dms.dot.gov. Click on ?help & Information.

GUN OWNERS ALLIANCE !!ALERT!!–H.R. 74 (Jackson-Lee): This bill would amend the Hate Crimes Law to imposea ten-year prison sentence (life imprisonment for serious offenses) forusinga firearm to cause or attempt to cause bodily injury on the basis of, amongother things, the sexual orientation of the victim. In addition, it wouldauthorize increased funding for grants and enforcement.

H.R. 75 (Jackson-Lee): This bill would authorize $100,000,000 a year formentalhealth services for children.

For more info, contact: Chris W. Stark – Director
P.O. Box 1924
Crosby, Texas 77532-1924
Ph. 1-713-202-9548 Fax 1-810-283-7459
http://www.GOA-Texas.org
email: Director@GOA-Texas.org

DEAR ABBY–Dear AbbyMy husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issues. He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught he first denies it all, then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don’t know what to do.

Signed: Frustrated

Dear Frustrated:

Why don’t you move to New York and run for the Senate?

–Kris B.

ODD FACTS– In Scotland, a new game was invented. It wasentitled Gentlemen –Only Ladies Forbidden … and thus the word GOLFentered into the English language.

THAT’S IT–Actually that’s not it, but after last night, that’s all my brain cells can handle. I picked up a new truck yesterday and need to alter it before anyone sees me in a stock truck. It’s actually raining here, the gods must have lost their way. This is the summer, goddamnit.

Sturgis is just around the corner and a new Samson exhaust system just arrived for my riding partner. It’s going to be busy for the next couple of weeks.–Let’s ride–Bandit.

Remember to remove the spacers at the rear of the clutch basket before installing the new clutch.

Always lube the plates and friction disks with Primary oil before inserting them into the clutch hub.Finish up with the rest of the drive, according to the manual.

Bolt the outer primary in place, also following the torque pattern, but after installing the tranny top cover and replacing the starter, and this side’s done.

The oil tank can now be replaced. We also went with H-D’s braided oil lines, they fit perfectly and looked very cool.

The cam cover, rocker boxes, and tappet covers go on next.These are very straightforward operations, and, as long as you’recareful and clean, you should have no problems.

We now installed the SE Holley kit.

This operation is covered in the BikernetGarage section in detail, so we won’t go into a step-by-step here. Needless to say, the kit and instructionsmade this job a breeze. At this time, we changed out the ignition module and coil, also covered in the Garage section.

We wanted to lower this ride so we installed H-D’s Low Profile Rear Suspension.This operation, too, is detailed in the Bikernet Garage.

As we told you at the beginning of this story we took the Softail out and put it through its paces.The Holley performed flawlessly and the bike ran hard.

When we got home we rolled it out to take a few shots so that you all could see the before and after.Low, fast and pretty. I’d say that’s a pretty good start.

Now let’s ride. Oz

Back to Oz’s Garage Build Up – We Start Here….

Back to Harley-Davidson on Bikernet….

Continued from Page 1

BROTHER ATTENDED MEMORIAL DAY CELEBRATION IN ARLINGTON– I was fortunate enough to be able to observe the laying of the wreath at the National Memorial Cemetery in Arlington, Va., on Memorial Day, and I’ll tell all of you that there were not too many dry eyes in the crowd (including mine). It was a great day for me. After coming home and reading this, I knew I had to share it with all my friends.

Friend and Shipmate,
Dan

TAPS– We have all heard the haunting song, “Taps.” It’s the song that gives us that lump in our throats and usually creates tears in our eyes. But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you will be pleased to find out about its humble beginnings.

Reportedly, it all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was with his men near Harrison’s Landing in Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land. During the night, Capt. Ellicombe heard the moans of a soldier who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the captain decided to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the captain reached the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment. When the captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead. The captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his own son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war broke out. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate Army. The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial despite his enemy status.

His request was only partially granted. The captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. But, out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him only one musician. The captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth’s uniform. This wish was granted. The haunting melody we now know as “Taps”, used at military funerals, wasborn.

BROS CLUBS JOINS BIKERNET– We now have roadside service and insurance programs at your fingertips on Bikernet. I’m in the process of having all my insurance re-quoted from Bros Club. If they do a better job, they’ll have all my business.

Regarding the roadside service, check it out. We all break down from time to time or need some help. AAA will not pick up bikes and I’ve been a member for 20 years, so fuck them.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON SUPPORTS VIETNAM VETERAN INITIATIVES WITH $100,000 DONATION–Harley-Davidson Motor Co. announced support of two Vietnam veteran initiatives with a $100,000 donation made at the culmination of the Rolling Thunder XIV motorcycle rally in Washington, D.C., on Sunday.

A $50,000 contribution was made to the American Battle Monuments Commission to help fund a congressionally authorized memorial plaque at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., honoring veterans who died after their service in the Vietnam War, but as a direct result of that service.

Another $50,000 contribution was made to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund to help support the Traveling Wall, a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and The Wall That Heals, Traveling Museum and Information Center, which visits communities throughout the U.S.

“On behalf of Harley-Davidson and our many employees, dealers and customers, we are proud to support these noble efforts honoring the service of Vietnam veterans,” said Jim McCaslin, president of Harley-Davidson Motor Co.

Harley-Davidson has a long history as a U.S. military supplier. The company’s motorcycles were first used for dispatching and scouting during border skirmishes on the Mexican frontier in 1916. During the first year of U.S. military involvement in World War I, approximately half of all the company’s motorcycle production went to the military. During World War II, Harley-Davidson produced approximately 90,000 military motorcycles.

More than 14 percent of Harley-Davidson’s U.S. employees are veterans of the U.S. military, and many of Harley-Davidson’s dealers and customers have also served.

Harley-Davidson salutes the nation’s veterans every year on Veteran’s Day, Nov. 11, by hosting special events at its Kansas City, Milwaukee, and York, Pa., facilities.

HORSEPOWER REPORT FROM AUSTRALIA–Sent you a couple of e-mails in the past. Heaven sent ’47 Knuckle, 200 tyrein a stock Twin Cam swingarm, 12.9s from an ’88 Twin Cam for $1,000, etc.Live in a place called Alligator Creek, Queensland, Australia. It is around15 miles from Mackay, Queensland. This district has the largest number ofHarleys per capita. Only 100,000 people in the district and the localHarley shop, Mackay Motorcycles, has sold over 500 Harleys.

The dyno belongs to Steve Gay, Cylinder Head Development, phone 0749521611. It is a 1200 hp 1200lb ft Baker Bros engine dyno with D Pak dataaquisition gear. The shop normally does drag race engines for cars andoffshore marine racing engines. The bike owner had his car engine built atthe shop and was so impressed he asked them to do his new twin cam heads.The story was published in issue 224 of Oz Bike. Second part of the storywas never published when the bike went 12.0’s with a 95 kit, ported stockvalve original TC heads, Zippers red shift cam but still with the standardCV carb. For Stage 3, the twin cam has since been fitted with big Manleyintake valves, ported extensively, fitted with a home made webber set upand is now making 133 hp at 6300 rpm and 125 lb ft at 4800 rpm. Beforebeing dynoed it ran 11.66 at 114.5 mph with the webber so far out of tunethat it turned a brand new set of plugs dark brown in one run and cut outcoming down the return road. It was making around 110 hp at the back wheel.

The twin cam owner, Gavin Cass, was aware of my computer modellingprograms. He asked what I could do regarding the Harley. Gave him a recipefor 137 hp at 6500 rpm. Told him the size of the valves needed, the airflowat .500″ lift, the cam specs, the compression, etc. required. To dyno theengine, Gavin used a chev bellhousing and adaptor plate to mount to Steve’sstrainer. Inside the bellhousing is a custom made flywheel with a clutchplate and ring gear.

In nearly all cases where one of my computer matched combos is duplicatedmore horsepower than predicted is found. Eg a 480 hp recipe makes 505hp.By rights if the program predicts 137 hp, would expect 140 hp to beachievable. The computer doesn’t know what brand is on the tappet cover orif the motors a single cylinder or V12. If you put accurate info in, itspits out reliable details to build by. Let me know when you want a choosea cam that’s perfect for your bike?

–Bob “Secret Squirrel” Kotmel

Biker horseshoes–must piss off the ladies

HOLLISTER REPORT– More than just the weekend! Bolado Park will be open Fourthof July. Go to & click-on Links & click to”Gypsy Tour”. Camping/events/music/boxing! Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

FACTS FROM THE BIKERNET ARCHIVES OF HIGHER LEARNING– Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had awhistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When theyneeded a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle,” is the phraseinspired by this practice.

–Jerry Heller

SHOVELHEAD SAVES MAN’S LIFE–Read the story “Return” by Jim Hubbard and find out how one motorcycle pulled this brother back together.

ULTRA MOTORCYCLE COMPANY FILES CHAPTER 11– Ultra filed a petition for relief under Chapter 11 bankruptcyon May 21, 2001. The filing was necessitated by the threat of a foreclosuresale scheduled later that day by the company’s secured creditor. UMC statesit is continuing all normal business operations and will continueuninterrupted services to its dealers and customers….

JULY 9 IS GUN BURNING DAY AT UN–It is “Small Arms Destruction Day” on July 9, 2001. Plans are underway for government agents to ignite huge bonfires of handguns, rifles and other firearms in major population centers worldwide.

No joke. The United Nations Conference on Small Weapons is sponsoring massive gun burnings on July 9 to mark the openingin New York of the UN Conference on Illicit Trade in Small Arms and Light Weapons. Organizers of the conference say “thepublic destruction of weapons” is good because it “is one of the best ways to attract attention” to global civilian disarmament.

Whose guns will be burned? Privately held weapons that have been captured or confiscated by governments, of course. But certainly not the guns held by governments and their armies, police forces and death squads.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Hey, another week goes by and it’s still raining down in the Caribbean. Summershowers are a bitch, but they will plenish our water supply for thecoming months.Funny how things are, I’m reading the 30th anniversary EasyRiders and happento see a photo of a chopper, so happens we own that litlle chopper, with afew changes that we have done in the past years, but the same bike. Webought it from a trade in that Bourget’s got a few years ago. Nice oldschool chopper, in the magazine it was called Fatal Attraction. I checkedmy old magazines and found the whole shoot for it, so I went and took somephotos, here they are.

The annual Jack Daniels BBQ competition will take place the 24th of June,in Parque Luis Mu?oz Marin, as for the past six years this will be an eventthat all bike riders participate in. Give us a call at the shop if youhappen to be arounf PR or just for info.

Next weekend the HOG South ride will take place. It’s an overnight rideinto the mountains and then to the southern town of Ponce for the party. Sunday we ride back to San Juan.

Talked to my buddy, Mike Maldonado, he’s back and stronger than ever, evenhas his own Web site www.heavycyclecustoms.com, its still under constructionbut some photos of his super cool bikes are already there.

Plans are already rolling for the next Caribbean Rally, in November. Therally starts on a Thursday and it’s over by Saturday night. Caribbean CustomCycles and Harley-Davidson of San Juan (Motorsport) are planning to do theFirst Caribbean Bike Show Sunday, all day…. Any info e-mail us.

Oh well,,,,,, back to work, get some progress on the choppers and get thattrailer ready for Sturgis……Take care.

–Jose

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley when hespotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop.The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a lookat his bike.The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey doc, can I ask you a question?”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanicworking on the motorcycle.The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So doc,look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix ’em, putin new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one.So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you andI are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to themechanic….. “Try doing it with the engine running!”

MIKE LICHTER PHOTO EXHIBITION IN STURGIS–The Journey Museum in Rapid City, S.D., will host a photography exhibition by Michael Lichter titled “Biker Generation.” The images, which include many of Michael’s best-known works from 20 years of photographing the biker lifestyle, will be on display from Aug. 4 through Sept. 3, 2001. Thirteen of the finest custom motorcycles by some of the most famous bike builders in the world will be on display with the photographs in the gallery as well as in the museum atrium from Aug. 4-11, 2001.

An opening reception with Michael Lichter and most of the participating builders is scheduled for Aug. 7 from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. The builders include Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James, Fred Kodlin, Billy Lane, Bob McKay, Jim Nasi, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Ron Simms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffe. This reception will be free and open to the public.”Biker Generation” is timed to coincide with the 61st annual Bike Week in Sturgis during which more than 500,000 bikers congregate in the Black Hills. This is The Journey Museum’s first exhibition with a motorcycle theme. Given that motorcycling is integrally tied with the history of the Black Hills and that the Journey’s mission states that the museum will “serve as a forum to preserve and explore the heritage of the cultures of the Black Hills region,” the show was considered a perfect fit.

The Journey Museum is open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily; Aug. 4-11, the museum will remain open until 6 p.m. The museum is located at 222 New York St., two blocks east of the Rushmore Plaza Holiday Inn and the Civic Center where Harley-Davidson is headquartered. The normal museum admission of $6 has been reduced to $5 (kids 10 and under are free) during Bike Week; it includes admission to the entire museum and this special exhibition.

A WIFE AND HER HUSBAND– were having a dinner party for all the highsociety people in town. To show how classy they were, she decided atthe very last minute that snails should be served, but all the storeswere closed. So, she asked her husband to run down to the beach withthe bucket she was handing him to gather some snails. Very grudginglyhe agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps,and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed abeautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little furtherdown the beach. He kept thinking to himself, “Wouldn’t it be great ifshe would come down and talk to me.”

He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up,and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got totalking, and she invited him back to her apartment a little ways downthe beach. When they got there, they started fooling around. It gotso hot and heavy that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out.

At 6:30 the next morning, he woke up and yelled, “Oh my gosh! Mywife’s dinner party! She’ll kill me!!” He gathered all his clothes,put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket of snails and ran out thedoor.

He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. As he startedrunning up the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. Snails wentflying and were all over the stairs. Just then the door opened andhis angry wife was standing there wondering where he’d been allthis time.

He looked at the snails scattered on the steps, then looked at her,then back at the snails and said, “Come on little guys, we’re almostthere!”Las Vegas sign

JIMS NATIONAL DUE TO ROCK LAS VEGAS–The dates for the races are Oct. 19-21. Hordes of bikers will be riding out from Los Angeles to the meet. Racers from all over the country will be competing. From all accounts, it’s a first class event. We’ll keep you posted as we get closer.

THE SMOKEY MOUNTAIN SMOKE-OUT– is planned for July 13-15 inCherokee, N.C. Yes, that is Friday the 13th – so break out the green Krylonpaint, spray your choppa and head out.

The Horse staff will be having dinner at the Harrah’s Cherokee Casinoall-you-eat buffet at 7 p.m. Friday. There is special “motorcycleonly” parking in front of the casino so that we don’t have to walk a longway, like the less fortunate, little people who don’t ride a chopper. GOTO THE BUS ENTRANCE where THE HORSE will have a table set up to give HORSEreaders a break on dinner and some gambling tokens. Check formore info.This is the first event I have had the privilege of planning for the Horseand I am always looking for your input and involvement. Thanks. E-mail meat edge@ironcross.net .

–Edge

I’M OUTTA HERE–The Buell is in pieces in preparation for the run to Sturgis. We’ve stripped off some of the linkage and headlight brackets for chroming. We may end up taking the tripe-trees off for plating or powder. We have an assortment of Joker Machine accessories ready to install. Phil Stadden is already working on the plastic-metal paint and we’re arguing over the color scheme. The Buell makes it easy to look forward to the ride. Goddamnit, it’s already June and half the year is gone. Hang on, it only speeds up from here.As of tomorrow, some time everyday will be dedicated to writing my next book, that is, unless a woman gets in the way. Let’s ride–Bandit

As I pulled onto the Harbor Freeway, the traffic was light. I had nowhere to knock wood, so I kicked it up to 80 mph and settled into the diamond lane. From there I got on the 91 and began the blitz to the edge of town, which is almost at the Arizona border now. At about 75 miles I spotted my Van Buren turn-off. I hadn’t hit a lick of traffic. A holiday weekend without myriad drunken accidents? I couldn’t believe it. From there it was a series of rambling roads and highways to Idllywild — Van Buren to the 215, to Ramona Expressway, to 74 to 243 to Jack Daniels. There was a sliver of a moon slicing the pitch black night as I pulled up in front of their gate.All day Saturday we chainsawed everything in sight. We danced the dangerous dance of dodging creaking timbers that would have broke both my legs in a heartbeat if it had shifted the wrong way. With NuttBoy’s wife, Debbie, doin’ the jig on the creaking log with drinks and munchies, we cut from dawn to dusk and finally cut that sonuvabitch from stem to stern. I kept thinking of the movie “A Great Notion.” The next morning I rode back, stiff and sore. I needed the touch of a woman and the smell of salt air to relieve lungs full of 2-stroke fuel. Let’s get to the news:

THE AMA IS ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE ITS NEW HALL OF FAME LINEUP– The AMA is adding to the list of legendary figures in its Motorcycle Hall of Fame. The 28 new inductees include racers, tuners, engineers and media figures. The Motorcycle Hall of Fame recognizes individuals who have made significant contributions to all aspects of motorcycling. Check the Web site for the results, and join ’em or join the local motorcycle rights group. We need to keep these organizations strong.

GUY WALKED INTO THE CORNER STORE– with a shotgun and demanded allthe cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter ontheshelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refusedand said, “Because I don’t believe you are over 21.”

The robbersaidhe was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because hedidn’tbelieve him. At this point the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. Theclerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he putthe scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot.The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of therobber that he’d gotten off the license. They arrested the robber twohourslater.

CHROME SPECIALTIES PANHEAD ENGINE–That’s right, Chrome Specialties and Keith Ruxton are building a series of performance Panheads. Next week we’ll speak to Keith upon his return from his vacation and get all the particulars. Watch for it, or if you need one ASAP, check the Chrome Specialties Web Site Here.

INDIAN TO CELEBRATE 100 YEARS–ALMOST–This is a tough one. Indian will commemorate the brand?s 100th anniversary with a cross-country ride June 16 – July 4, 2001. The 5300-mile ride will begin in Springfield, Mass., where the original Indian Motocycle factory stood and will visit various Indian Motorcycle dealerships across the U.S. en route home to Gilroy, Calif., where the current factory is located.

The problem is that finding an Indian from 1955 until now is tough. Even the current bikes are not Indians per se, but they’re trying.

HELEN ORDERS DSL–Helen is our main drag racing correspondent and photographer. Watch our drag racing page, it’s coming alive.

“I ordered DSL today. Mailman thought it was a good idea to free up the phone line and have the high speed access.??So it’ll be ready about the time I leave for Denver. Hopefully Garrett (my kid) will have the bugs worked out of it by the time I return home.?? The modem is an Intel USB external with no extra power cord to worry about. Got it for free and it is totally plug and play.

I don’t figure I’ll spend any less time behind this monitor, but I’ll get a lot more accomplished while I’m here. And of course I can send erroneous e-mails at the speed of light to the wrong people.

Oz told me today that I needed DSL to speed my ass up. Suppose I’ll look into it–Bandit

Holy shit….. did you two blow the dust off the candles you use to light and heat your homes while you were at it?–Digital

A FELLOW– was invited to the home of some old friends for dinner. His buddypreceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, MyLove, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

The guest was impressed since the couple had been married almost 70 years,and while the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his friend, “I thinkit’s wonderful that after all the years you’ve been married, you still callyour wife those pet names.”

His buddy hung his head. “To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about tenyears ago.”

–Helen Wolfe

ALL-NEW PATENTED CHALLENGER BAFFLE FROM SAMSON– Samson has developed a new performance exhaust system called Challenger, which has a patented baffle. The baffle is a unique reverse cone that forms a nozzle to create velocity while drawing exhaust away from the head.

The notion came to Kenny Price, president and founder of Samson Exhaust, in the middle of the night, while two naked women jumped up and down on his heart-shaped bed, shouting, “Mr. Samson hired us. We want Mr. Samson.? Oblivious to their shrieks, Kenny was well aware that velocity creates torque, so he tried the reverse cone. The holes in the cone allow gases to evacuate. The system also allows the owner to adjust for sound. “The second baffle can be removed, but the real magic is in the reverse cone,” Kenny said.

“We wanted to create a gradually shaped outer cone,” Kennysaid, describing the exterior of the new muffler. “Some manufacturersof tubing said that it wasn’t possible, but we created a hybrid conewith a gradual taper to conceal the muffler appearance.” The diameterof the pipe increases only 1 inch in the 24-inch-long muffler.”It’s a subtle cone,” Kenny explained.

Kenny is manufacturing complete systems that incorporate theChallenger muffler to fit Softails, Dynas and Sportsters for Twin Cam and Evolution models.

Samson bolted this revolutionary system to a stock Twin Cam andlet ‘er rip. “With an out-of-the-box model, we baselined the bike at50 horses. With our system in place, including reversion cones, weexperienced 57 horsepower and an additional 10 pounds of torqueconsistently.” The system comes with the torque cones, full coverageheat shields and all the mounting hardware. “Plus our pipes aredesigned to fit perfectly,” Kenny said.

Installation of the complete exhaust system ($499) is a breeze. For more information, check out the Samson Web site through Bikernet.com.

On to Page 2

Continued from Page 2

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS–Compiled and Edited by BILL BISH,National Coalition of Motorcyclists

NCOM CONVENTION “JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!” As NCOM Chairman DocReichenbach was making last-minute preparations for the 16th Annual NCOMConvention in Orlando, Fla., May 10-12, 2001, he told Bill Bish, NCOMexecutive director, that ”I just want everyone to say that this was the bestconvention ever!”By the time the National Coalition of Motorcyclists’ Convention wounddown to the Silver Spoke awards banquet on Saturday night, it was clear tothe nearly 1,100 conventioneers that this really was the best one ever!But, as Bish pointed out during his keynote speech at the banquet, ”Thefunny thing is, that’s what we hear every year!”Aside from the record attendance, full agenda and thought-provokingseminars, one of the things that made this year’s convention special was thatwe got to help ABATE of Florida and the Confederations of Clubs of Florida,our convention hosts, celebrate their newly won freedom of choice on helmets!”Celebrate Freedom” was the theme for the convention, and Florida nowmakes the fifth state to repeal its adult helmet law in the fiveyears since bikers from across the country worked together to repeal thefederal helmet law mandates.Next year’s NCOM convention will be held at the Downtown Radisson in NewOrleans, La., May 9-11, 2002. Call NCOM at (800) 525-5355 for moredetails.

HEALTH CARE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST MOTORCYCLISTS LEGALIZED. In one of hisfirst official acts as new secretary of health and human services underPresident George W. Bush, former Wisconsin Gov. Tommy Thompson, anavid motorcyclist himself, revealed that after personally reviewing theinterim final rules for nondiscrimination in health care coverage, his officecannot find legal justification to modify or disallow the new regulations.

In effect, this revelation revokes the efforts of multitudes ofmotorcyclists who successfully lobbied Congress in 1996 to guarantee accessto medical benefits for employees injured in motorcycle accidents. The newrules, which went into effect May 8, 2001, basically say that motorcycleriders and participants in other recreational activities cannot be excludedfrom health care coverage, but benefits can be denied if the employee isinjured while participating in those activities.

SUPREME COURT ALLOWS ARREST FOR TRAFFIC OFFENSE. A divided U.S. SupremeCourt ruled on April 24, 2001, that police may arrest individualsfor minor traffic violations or other misdemeanor offenses normallypunishable only by a fine, such as unbuckled seat belts or public littering.By a 5-4 vote, the high court declared that the Fourth Amendment, whichbans unreasonable arrests and searches, does not prevent police from makingsuch arrests without a warrant. TEXAS POLITICIAN DONS LEATHERS FOR BIKERS’ RIGHTS. El Paso StateRepresentative Norma Ch?vez wore a black leather vest with ”LegislativeWarrior” embroidered on the back when she passed legislation to enhance therights of motorcyclists on April 20, 2001.As she introduced the bill on the House floor, she pulled her hair backto help give her a ”biker look,” according to the Capitol Notebook writtenby Gary Scharrer in the El Paso Times.

”That is tough!” House Higher Education Chairwoman Irma Rangel,D-Kingsville, said in assessing Ch?vez’s motorcycle look.Ch?vez’s bill breezed to passage without discussion and without a single”no” vote. Part of it is intended to stop police harassment ofmotorcyclists who don’t wear helmets. Only motorcyclists younger than 21 arerequired to wear helmets. Ch?vez’s bill allows police to stop helmet-lessmotorcyclists only if they appear younger than 21, and they cannot stop arider to check if their helmet meets DOT specifications.

ARIZONA ENACTS PRO-MOTORCYCLE LEGISLATION. ”As our Arizona lobbying teamwaited in the gallery for our bill to come up, it became apparent that thebills we were listening to had significant social impact and that ours wasimportant enough to have made it this far,” recalls Roger ”Priest” Hurm ofthe day their motorcycle safety bill passed the House and was eventuallysigned into law by Governor Hull, allocating $1 per motorcycle registrationto be spent on programs that benefit motorcycle riders.When SB1037 was called for vote and the green lights started showing upon the big board, with only six red lights, we knew we had a winner,”continued Priest, who is chairman of the MMA of Arizona and member of theboard of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists.

HERE’S ANOTHER UPCOMING HORSE COVERGIRL– Thought you needed a break. Watch for the issue of “Only the lonely” Choppers and down home freaks to hit your newsstand shortly.

ISLE OF MAN MOTORCYCLE RACES CANCELED OVER LIVESTOCK DISEASE The Isle ofMan TT motorcycle races became the latest sporting event to fall victim toBritain’s foot-and-mouth epidemic, as the island’s ministers have called offthe world-famous races for the first time since wartime because of fears that40,000 visiting race fans could spread the livestock infection.

The Isle of Man has so far remained free of the disease that has affectedmore than 1,450 farms in mainland Britain. The TT races attract hugeinternational interest, partly because of the danger of the two-week race. Since 1907, almost 200 riders have died on the island’s perilous 37-mile”Mountain Circuit.”

QUOTE OF THE DAY– ”We were free until we stopped fighting, now no onehas freedom. Chief Tawonka”–Inscription on Cigar Store wooden Indian

Mark Your Calendars…July 21, 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. and July 22, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.at theLong Beach Queen Mary

TheL. A. Calendar Motocycle ShowBikes, bikers, babes, vendor booths, free stuff and funSaturday, 9 p.m.

Bikernet sponsored partyin the Observation Room barLive band, prizes, fun

HOT BIKE IN THE NEWS–Check out the July issue of Hot Bike. Mainly the cover. Bitchin M2 and even more better is the lady in “Blue.” Don’t care for the rear tire setup the guy did at all! The Airtech body work has been around since ’97 or so. Has the Buell carbon fiber chin fairing.

Like the Showa front forks with the dual disk setup. I can tell from the pic. the swing arm recall has not been done. Also the header pipe has the small 2″ Dia. collector. This was stock on the 95/96 S2’s. Not a good one for big H.P. Check out page 43 (Big HP Buyers Guide) At the bottom is Rivera’s Fatso motor. Twin Camcylinders and heads on a Evo single cam set of cases. This engine would look great in a RigidChopper. I really like the whole concept of this setup. No fucken cam timing chains. No base or rocker box gaskets problems. Very cool!!

— Paul

VIAGRA INGREDIENTS RELEASED–

3% vitamin E
2% aspirin
2% ibuprofen
1% vitamin C
92% Fix-a-Flat

HEY BANDIT–Thought you might want to see what we had made to welcome you at H-D of Charlotte. Aren’t you impressed? By the way, that’s M & M holding the banner. French Fry is our official shop photographer. You’ll understand why we call her F.F. when you see her.

Boy, do you have a lot of Southern stuff to learn while you’re here. You’ll be especially interested in the “mud” we asked you about before. Paul (your cub reporter) said he had already asked you about mud for your turtle. You better pay attention to this stuff.

–See ya!M & M

Hittin’ Da Garage–It’s Miller time at the headquarters and we’re going to bolt NuttBoy’s Pro Street together and roll it off the lift, so I can get the Buell in place for some maintenance, then a tear-down for Sturgis preparations.

Before it reaches happy hour and the girls get off work, I hope to cut a dusty trail. When it comes to women, I’m a chicken-shit. Remember “Three Redheads in a Swimming Pool,” a story I wrote a couple years ago? Well, I feel deja vu coming on.

Let’s Ride–Bandit

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RESCUE MOTORCYCLE SAFETY FOLLOWING NHTSA/NBC NEWS ATTACK!– The joint Motorcycle Riders Foundation/State Motorcyclists? Rights Organization (SMRO) campaign to advance motorcycle safety through the 107th Congress hit full steam last week, only to suffer damage when a torpedo hit was leveled by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) and ?NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw.?You may have missed the broadcast that millions watched, so here are the details and an urgent call to action.

On Thursday, May 17, ABATE of Colorado became the ninth SMRO to visit Washington, D.C., in concert with MRF, to advance, among other initiatives, a meaningful, no-strings resource injection to help eradicate the waiting period for safety training for all riders. The motorcycle safety component of the joint MRF-SMRO agenda calls also for the first-ever national campaign of Motorist Awareness of Motorcycles to wake up clueless motorists who continue to be at fault for most serious accidents involving cars and bikes.

Colorado?s intervention on Capitol Hill came at a pivotal time and brought the total to nearly 100 members of Congress who?ve heard our pro-safety/pro-freedom message.

Thursday evening, as your brothers and sisters returned to Colorado after a job well done, NHTSA and NBC News launched an agenda of their own: mandatory training and, of course, a bid for more and more research.

Not content with lobbying state legislatures to restrict motorcyclists? freedom, NHTSA came to the aid of NBC News last week to point out that there has been an increase in fatalities among older riders. Armed with what NHTSA later confessed to an MRF member as ?a power point presentation? based on ?raw data,? NBC News took aim at all motorcyclists and wrote a prescription for disaster: mandatory training for older riders and a scare campaign aimed at large motorcycles.And how did NBC balance the May 17th piece against the call for new mandates? By talking to dealers and riders who speak only for themselves and rely on best guess and anecdote. Had NBC bothered to talk to national advocates of motorcyclists? rights and safety, the network would have learned the truth:

The call to action:YOUR SAFETY IS ON THE LINE! CONGRESSMEN AND SENATORS WATCH NBC NEWS AND THEY ARE JUST AS LIKELY AS OTHER AMERICANS TO TAKE NHTSA-SPUN RAW DATA AS GOSPEL — UNLESS YOU ACT NOW.

1. Write to your congressman and U.S. senators and object to NHTSA lobbying the media about the dangers of motorcycling with ?raw data.? You can find email addresses for your members of Congress by entering http://thomas.loc.gov/ on your browser. You can also telephone your congressman and senators by calling the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at 202-224-3121. Phone calls are preferred.

2. Explain to your senators and congressman that the key to safety is the joint MRF/SMRO agenda: a resource injection to the states to satisfy the overwhelming need for voluntary training of motorcyclists — and the training of car and truck drivers with the first-ever national program of Motorist Awareness of Motorcycles.

3. Pick up the TELEPHONE and CALL the STATION MANAGER of your LOCAL NBC TELEVISION AFFILIATE. You can find the number of your local NBC affiliate under ?television stations? in your local Yellow Pages.

NEW SONNY BARGER BOOK PROJECT–Do you (or a friend or family member) have a thrilling or amusing biker story to share?

Sonny is writing his second book with the same co-authors as “Hell’s Angel” and it will include tales and adventures of other riders — club members and independents, celebrities and unknowns, bike builders, riders and fanatics, all the colorful characters that make up the biker lifestyle and culture.

Tell us your story by e-mail (200 words or less, please) before June 15. Be sure to include your name and phone number, so we can contact those with the best stories. In the book, names and events may be changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Help us show the rest of the world what “Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free” is all about.

Reply to this message or send to story@sonnybarger.com.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE OR MYRTLE BEACH–While Myrtle Beach was in full swing, our East Coast correspondent was delivering the new and photographed such as above to Bikernet. Now this:If you disliked the closing of Ocean Boulevard northbound as much as I did,here is the e-mail address of Myrtle Beach City Manager ThomasLeath. He is the man who made this decision and said on TV that hehadn’t received any negative comments about it. I have already sent hima letter and hope each of you will as well and pass his name and addressto anyone who would care to complain.

Thomas Leath
tleath@cityofmyrtlebeach.com

–Debbie Swain/Rogue

RUMORS FROM MILWAUKEE– Some news passed on to me. Second hand but the source is good. Buell is testing an overhead cam air cooled engine M/C at the testing grounds in Yucca, Ariz. The rear shock is said to be in a more coventional position, more like the way the Buell Blast rear shock is mounted.

It was said that the motor is much faster. Harley is working closely with Ford and Cosworth. Don’t know if this engine design is directly from that combined effort or not.

Rumor was that 2002 models were to have a new engine. It may be 002 or 003, don’t know for sure. The new models will be shown at the dealer meeting in July /Aug. I guess time will tell.

–Mystery Man

TRUE STORY–While standing in line, waiting to give hisnote to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him writethenote and might call the police before he reached the teller window.Sohe left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors thathe wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhatdefeated, the man said “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

GAINS MADE AT ROAD ATLANTA AS REBUILDING SEASON PROGRESSES–Picotte Posts VR 1000’s Best Ever Finish at Road Atlanta; Smith Gets Up to Speed

BRASELTON, Ga. (May 21, 2001) – Racing in damp to drying conditions, Pascal Picotte gave Harley-Davidson’s VR 1000 its best ever finish at Road Atlanta with a 7th place on Saturday during the AMA Superbike doubleheader weekend. Teammate Mike Smith, who finished 12th Saturday after experiencing tire problems, nearly equaled Picotte’s mark in dry conditions Sunday, running competitive lap times and racing for 8th before crashing just before the final lap. Picotte suffered a mechanical failure on Sunday and did not finish.

“Although the second race didn’t turn out the way we would have liked, the weekend was another step in the right direction,” said Harley-Davidson’s Director of Racing John Baker. “A lot of development work is in progress and this weekend was about achieving specific improvements in suspension and handling. With an integrated effort the race team and engineering were able to achieve this result.”

Also over the weekend, Harley-Davidson VR 1000 privateer Jordan Szoke finished 13th on Saturday and 11th on Sunday racing for the Austin-Bleu Bayou H-D team.

The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 team will test at Road America in Elkhart Lake, Wis., this week and compete again June 8-10, when the AMA Superbike tour heads to Road America for another double-header weekend.

ANTIQUE OF THE DAY IN THE CANTINA–Besides the babe of the day, the Cantina is graced with an antique of the day and a contact for buying antique bikes. We hope to have one hot antique deal weekly in the Cantina. Give it a shot. It’s growing like crazy. “I rode my 50EL over to the Dutchess Col Fairgrounds in Rhinebeck, N.Y.,yesterday for an antique show and swap meet.Thought you could use these for the antique of the day feature in theCantina. Knock yourself out with these. I got more if you need them,just please give me credit for the shots.

Thanks and enjoy,
Teddy Bear

BIKE SHOW WINNERS FOR APRIL–Sorry about that. I just got back from the Keys. I forgot to e-mail you withthe list before I left. The Keys trip was insane. It’s the only word todescribe it. I just need to check myself into the looney bin and get it overwith. I still can’t believe it. Like something out of a movie. And I thoughtthis past winter’s adventures were too much. Not even close.

Here’s the list and picture.-JoAnn

In The “Competition” Category
Ray Devine
ST. LOUIS, Mo.

In The “Pro-Street” Category
Thad Cranford
Zachary, La.

In The “Radical Custom” Category
Clay Huckins
Lake Havasu City, Ariz.

In The “Ridden” Category
Jay McGuire
Indio, Calif.

In The “Sportster” Category
Shelly Robertson
Iowa Park, Texas

In The “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Jim Spaciel
Milwaukee, Wis.

In The “Vintage” Category
Teddy Bear Babolcsay
Elizaville, N.Y.

Each Winner received a signed book from Bandit, a T-shirt from JIMS Machine or Crime Inc., or a Crime Inc. wallet or a gift certificate from Samson Exhaust. Of course each winner also recieved one famous Bikernet Bike Show trophy.

HEY NOW–Check out the first-ever Blue Cafe Blues Festival info.!!!1st. Annual Blue Cafe Blues FestivalThe Fabulous Thunderbirdsheadline!!!

The Green on the Hill27th & Walnut, Signal Hill Ca.Sunday June 17th. FATHER’S DAY!!!sorry, forgot the date… and i’m a father!Don’t tell my son…

–vj

A TEXAN–a Californian, and an Oregonian are out riding horses. The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a long draught, then another and suddenly throws it into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the bottle in midair.

The Californian looks at him and says, “What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!”

The Texan says, “In Texas, there is plenty of whiskey and the bottles are cheap.”

A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Californian pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the champagne into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it in midair.

The Oregonian can’t believe his eyes, “What the heck did you do that for? That was a perfectly good bottle of champagne!”

The Californian says, “In California, we have plenty of champagne and bottles are cheap.”

So, awhile later, the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of Widmer Hefeweizen.He opens it, takes a sip, and then chugs the whole bottle. He then puts the bottle in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, and shoots the Californian.

The Texan, shocked, says, “Why the hell did you do that?!”

The Oregonian replies, “In Oregon, we have plenty of Californians and the bottles are worth a nickel.”

NEW BIKERNET BIKE FEATURES–from the creator of the White Brothers Calendar series and the Calendar Show at The Queen Mary in Long Beach, Calif. Jim G. has been photographing some of the finest bikes in the world for over a decade, and now you’ll see them on Bikernet. He also shoots some of the hottest babes in the world and you can see them in the Cantina for $1.65 a month–Enjoy

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