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Read More July 5, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
Watch the site’s up-to-the-minute drag racing reports by Helen Wolfe, and the new hot fiction. We hit 1.4 million hits with 79,000 user sessions again last month. The “It’s the Tits” billboard idea didn’t fly with the Nipple Haters Society so we’re back to the drawing board. Never a dull moment.
Let’s get to the news:
BUBBA BLACKWELL CRASHES– The stunt rider’s try at breaking his own car-jumping record ended tragically Wednesday night when the Harley-Davidson XR-750 he was riding failed to clear a line of 22 vehicles.
The front wheel of the Alabama native’s bike clipped one of the last few cars in the line, sending the stuntman flying head-over-heels into a landing ramp and sliding onto the pavement.
Blackwell, 34, is known as the “American Daredevil.” In February, he jumped over 14 tractor-trailer trucks. Two years ago, Blackwell successfully jumped over 30 school buses.
Blackwell was transported to Scripps Medical Center and remains in critical condition.
Bubba’s wife called Tommy with the San Diego Star last night to say thatBubba is responding and talking and that she will call us immediately ifthere’s anything we need to know. She was confident that he will be fine.
She said, “He was given medication immediately at the fair and hewasn’t able to talk because of the medication.”
When it finally wore off, he was talking and responding to her and themedical team at the hospital. He could move his legs and toes andeverything, according to his wife.
Bubba told us on the air a few weeks ago, and the crowd last night, thatthis would be his last jump. Bubba told Jeff and Jer he would stop jumping because his wife hates the risk and that it was time for himto raise a family.
THE MAN IN THE CAFE–A man enters a cafe and sits down. He notices that the special ofthe day is cold chili. When the waitress comes to take his order,he says, “I’ll take the cold chili.”
“I’m sorry, the gentleman next to you got the last bowl,” saysthe waitress.
“Oh, I’ll just have coffee then.”
After a while the man notices that the guy next to him who gotthe last bowl of cold chili is finishing a rather large meal andthe chili bowl is still full.
He asks, “Are you going to eat that?”
The other man replies, “No.”
“Would you sell it to me?”
“You can have it for free if you want it.”
So the man takes the bowl of chili and begins to eat it. When hegets about half way through the bowl, he notices a dead mouse inthe bowl and pukes the chili back into the bowl.
The other man says sympathetically, “That’s about as far as Igot, too.”
IRON HORSE TRIKE GOD DOWNED–The main mechanic, Paul Venturo, behind the success of car-powered Iron Horse Trikes in Rosewell, N.M., was run off the road last week. Paul’s new 2000 Wide Glide H-D was totaled.
Paul has been in a coma for more than a week. Don Center, owner of Iron Horse Trikes, has been going to the hospital and spending hours talking to Paul, trying to revive him. Paul has worked for Don for 4 years. Paul broke his left foot, leg, kneecap, arm and wrist, but the crucial aspects of the accident were the brain bleeders, which rendered him unconscious.
We wish him luck and a full recovery. If you would like to send a buck or two to help defray medical expenses, his bank is Wells Fargo, Rosewell, N.M., account number 1352516198. Any donations will be acknowledged and appreciated. Thank you.
NEW CYRIL HUZE FRAME-STRAY KATS–?Take the classic chopper frame, ask Cyril to redesign it and here is the result: a New School chopper frame called Stray Kat, which accepts the 250 series tire with a stock width belt. It is constructed out of 0.95 wall, 4130 chromemoly, using 1?1/4 inch tubing for superior strength, tig welded and fixture cooled.
For a clean look, internal fork stops are integrated in the steering head. The Stray Kat features details Cyril is famous for: top and below neck areas are CNC machined with a staircase design; there is a hidden axle with Cyril’s exclusive trick billet teardrop axle covers and no visible bolts; CNC square tubing motor mount with internal wiring loom inside the backbone for ease of wiring. For this frame, Cyril designed an?innovative stainless steel teardrop oil tank (included with the frame) with center oil fill and?”hidden” battery. A chopper frame has never looked so cool. It is available in 3-inch stretch/38-degree rake, or 5-inch stretch/40-degree rake. Any other stretch or rake on request.
Cyril Huze SPORTBIKE CONTACT– Be sure to stop by and see what’s new…. ?See us at the SRA Booth at Laguna Seca Raceway for World Superbike Racing July 6-8! ? ?See us at the SRA Booth at the Los Angeles Calendar Show in Long Beach, Calif., July 21-22. ?You can find more information about the show at http://fastdates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM Did you know the SRA is the title sponsor of the 2002 FastDates Racebike Pinup Calendar? ?Check out the SRA Web site or http://fastdates.com/FDRP.HTMfor more details! We have more discount providers! ?This is the main reason to become a member of the SRA. ?With your help, we all benefit by the unity of our members. ?The SRA is constantly using its clout as the nation’s largest sportbike club to secure discounts from suppliers and manufacturers. ?You can easily save more than the membership fee in just one order. ?These discounts are direct from the providers. ?The SRA is not in the business of selling parts and accessories. ?We are in the business of benefiting our members. Mike DiSabatino, President Welcome Bikers? Is this the committee? HUNTING ELK–Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elkhunting. They were quite successful in their venture and baggedsix big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the sixelk. But the pilot objected and said, “The plane can only takefour of your elk; you will have to leave two behind.” They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and thepilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the samemodel and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted themto put all six aboard. But when they attempted to take off andleave the valley, the little plane could not make it and theycrashed into the wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, “Doyou know where we are?” “I think so,” replied the other hunter. “I think this is aboutthe same place where we crashed last year.” BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNERS FOR JUNE– Here’s the list of winnersand a picture of the Street Stock winner. Remember, it’s free to enter, and if we can find enough lying around, you’ll receive a special 5-Ball trophy, a signed book and valuable prizes from Samson, JIMS, Crime Inc., Bikernet and more. In the Sportster Category In the Radical Custom Category In the Street Custom-Stock Category In the Pro-Street Category AN ITALIAN, A MEXICAN AND A REDNECK– An Italian, a Mexican, and a redneck were building a bridge. One day at lunch, the Italian opened his lunchbox and said with disgust, “If I have to eat fettucini alfredo ONE more day, I’m going to jump off this bridge.” The Mexican looks in his lunchbox and says, “If I have to eat tacos for lunch ONE more day, I’M going to jump off this bridge.” The redneck then looks in his lunchbox and says, “If I have to eat a ham sandwich for lunch ONE more day, I’M going to jump off this bridge.” The next day when the three men looked in their lunchboxes, they all had the same lunch as they’d had before and they all jumped off the bridge! At the memorial service, the wife of the Italian said, sobbing, “If I had only known he was tired of fettucini alfredo, I could have made spaghetti with meatballs.” The wife of the Mexican said, “If I had only known he was tired of tacos, I could have made enchiladas.” The wife of the redneck said, “Don’t look at me… that dumbass made his own lunches!” Continued On Page 2
Tel: (561) 392-5557
Sportbike Riders’ Association, Inc.
Where the web meets the streets
(888) 8.DR.BIKE – Toll Free
(888)837-2453
www.sportbikes.com
Mike Coffield
North Conway, N.H.
John Boucher
Lewiston, Maine
Paul Gendron
Taylor, Mich.
Atlantic choppers/Rich Santerre
Manchester, Conn.
28 June, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 2
This is a comp for our Sturgis billboard art, check it out! I sent it to all 7,000 members of the Bikernet staff and this was the worse response
All right, all right, let’s break up this shilly shallying.– ?God Damn it,I’ve got some bent over 16d nails and a bag of old coffee grounds dripping onthe linoleum. ??What the hell is all the hubbub about? ?Ya’ got yer bouncin’Brenda and her bodacious breasts, ya’ got yer Sturgis drunks and yahoos, ya’got yer Sin Wu tits in an uproar…enough already. ?
Let’s see…okay, here’sthe test. ?I spit in my upturned left hand, then I slaps my right hand downon top. ?Whatever the most splattered spit lands on is the winner. ?Okay,here goes……..!Splat! ?Shit! Got me right in the eye, goddamn it. ?Okay,that’s it, the eyes have it. ?Run the fucking “Flaming Deaths Head” as Laylacalls it, maybe then she won’t kick me in the balls. ?Jesus, you guys reallyknow how to have a good time. ? ?????????????????
Shave your poodle, ?? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????That CrotchityOld Fuck that waves at the traffic on PCH
PULL OVER, DAMNIT–A California policeman pulled a car over and told the driverthat because he had been wearing his seatbelt, he had just won$5,000 dollars in the statewide safety competition.”What are you going to do with the money?” asked the policeman.
“Well, I guess I’m going to get a driver’s license,” he answered.
“Oh, don’t listen to him,” yelled the woman in the passenger seat.”He’s a real jerk when he’s drunk.”
This woke up the guy in the back seat, who took one look at thecop and moaned, “I knew we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car.”
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said,in Spanish, “Are we over the border yet?”
LOS ANGELES CALENDAR BIKE SHOW UPDATE–We are happy to announce the 2002 edition of theHot Bike magazine presentsThe White Brothers LA Calendar Motorcycle ShowSaturday July 21st & Sunday July 22ndsponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler, Hollywood Blond Beer and BikerNet is again a sold out affair with some 100 major manufacturers, product companies, and a few select venders for added variety, in attendance. We are happy to have additional New Exhibitors joining us year from way back East including Chrome Specialties, Drag Specialties and RC Components among others.
I hope to see all our you at the Bikernet.com party aboard the Queen Mary on Saturday night. Hopefully you’ve booked a room to stay onboard the ship for the weekend.
Spectator Parking -The good news is the Queen Mary is presently building a new parking structure in their parking lot to increase parking in the future, but the bad news is it won’t be completed until next year. On Sunday in particular, the Queen Mary’s paid parking lot will be limited just to motorcycles so we accommodate as many ride-in spectators as possible and provide their bikes with theft security. Plus the City of Long Beach is allowing us to chain link fence-off and close the public street north of the Park for additional security paid motorcycle parking.
Spectators and Exhibitors arriving in cars must anticipate parking in the City parking structures by the Aquarium and the Convention center and riding the City Shuttle Bus to the Bike Show. This parking problem is the tradeoff we must accept to be at such a beautiful location as the Queen Mary. We have investigated every other location in greater Los Angeles from the Rose Bowl, to the Petersen Museum, Pomona Fair Grounds, to California Speedway and Irwindale Speeday, Griffith Park, and many others, and the Queen Mary is the best there is, all factors considered. Besides the Queen Mary’s own Security Force, the City of Long Beach police will be out in force and patrolling all the parking areas at this year’s Show.
New Hostess -Our LA Calendar Bike Show this year, for the first time ever will be hosted by a woman -actress, stunt woman and kick ass biker babe Brenda Fox! Brenda’s knows many of our exhibitors, personally (!), and will be pumping your exhibits throughout the weekend. Check out Brenda’s pic on Bandit’s chopper at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm
New Vintage Bike Class!
Do to popular demand we will be adding a new Class for Vintage Bikes at this year’s Calendar Bike Show. One of celebrity judges, renown bike restorer Don Whalen who’s bikes are the centerpieces of the Otis Chandler, Peterson Automotive, Barbour and Jay Leno collections, has promised us to bring out the finest Vintage bikes on the West Coast for our Show.
See you at the Show!Best regards,-Jim Gianatsis, Producer
MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE QUOTES ON LINE–Actually Dana can quote insurance for your business, health or life. He rides and understands the lifestyle. If you need a question answered don’t hesitate to ask.
HOW DO MAGAZINES’ SALES COMPARE TODAY?Magazines are sold in two basic ways, on the newsstand or by subscription. Many experts view newsstand sales as the more realistic measure of the popularity of a magazine, as subscription sales are easy to manipulate via contests, deep discounts, etc.
The largest player on the newsstand distribution side is Anderson News Company, which sells roughly 1 out of every 3 magazines on the newsstand.
Anderson News Company runs annual rankings of their magazines sales by category. Here is the information they developed for the last period for their Street Cycle Category:
INDUSTRY SHARE OF MARKET
1 Motorcyclist
2 Cycle World
3 American Iron Mag
4 Hot Bike
5 Sport Rider
6 MC Tour & Cruiser
7 V Twin
8 Hot Rod Bikes
9 Moto X Journal
10 American Rider
11 CW Specials
12 Ironworks
13 Rider
14 Cruising Rider
15 MC Street & Strip
16 Am Road & Racing
17 Long Riders
18 Sturgis Rally News
19 MC Performance
20 Eng Fast Bikes
21 Official MC Prices
As you can see from the above data, the three best selling titles,Motorcyclist, Cycle World and American Iron Magazine, combined represent well over halfof all motorcycle magazines sales, and more sales than the other 18 titles’ sales COMBINED.
This HarleySmart@aol.com information is brought to you by Buzz Kanter andthe staff of American Iron Magazine, the world’s most popular Harley-oriented magazine.
If you wish to contact anyone at American Iron Magazine, please call 203/425-8777 in Connecticut. American Iron Magazine’s editor is ChrisMaida, and the advertising manager is Steve Jaten.
LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS–Someone who teaches at a middle school in Safety Harbor, Fla., forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal’s office, after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen’s luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged.
All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now, and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God Bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked, if she could listen to mine, and I said fuck you.
Life is good.
–Rita Mines
JOKER MACHINE QUALITY–We’re fortunate to have the highest quality billet manufacturer in the industry represented on the site. If you want billet accessories that work and fit, check them out at http://www.jokermachine.com.
THE FACE LIFT–A lady in her late 40s went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. The doctor told her of a new procedure called “The Knob.” This small knob is planted on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten the skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift forever.
Of course the woman wanted “The Knob.”
Fifteen years later, the woman went back to the surgeon with two problems. “All these years everything had been working just fine. I’ve had to turn the knob on lots of occasions and I’ve loved the results.
But now, I have developed two annoying problems. First of all, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and The Knob won’t get rid of them.”
The doctor looked at her and said, “Those aren’t bags; those are your breasts.” She replied, “Well, I guess that explains the goatee.”
–Helen Wolfe
BIKER/SAILOR REPORT–Go for it friend! After many years of offshore life, I still am amazed at the ways of landlubbers. The sea is an open canvas, a way of life dependent on the shifts of the earth’s elements. It is also the ultimate monitor and measure for the magnitude of man. Everything man does in his landbound existence finds its way to the sea. The sea is also something that man has never been able to enforce his control over. Time at sea would be time well spent.
–All the best,Anson
NOTICE OF CANCELLATION–In November 2000, the VNV M/C USA, Ga. & the Brothers Too M/C USA, Ga. entered into an agreement with the Al Sihah Shrine Temple to rent the Al Sihah Shrine Park in Macon, Ga., for the weekend of July 20 & 21, 2001 for the purpose of hosting the July Jam. On June 9, 2001, the VNV M/C USA, Ga. state president was notified that the Al Sihah Shrine Temple was exercising its right to cancel the contract due to the VNV party interferring with a Shrine event they had scheduled for the same weekend; at the samelocation.
It is with sincere regrets that, after exhausting all efforts to aquire another location and obtain the required alcoholic beverage permits, that we, the VNV M/C USA, Ga. & the Brothers Too M/C USA, Ga., have had to cancel the July Jam. We thank all whohave supported us at previous July Jams and hope that all will understand. We hope to be able to locate a place and host the party in July 2002.
–Glenn “Boats” Grimes
CRIME IN ANN ARBOR– The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Mich., at 12:50 a.m., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said hecouldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, theclerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man,frustrated,walked away.
GUN LAW ALERT–H.R. 255 (Gilman): This bill would:Create grant programs for states which, among other things, buy backfirearms,require licensees to sell trigger locks with all firearms, and criminalizeanypurchase of handguns by a person who has not attained the age of 21;Prohibit the importation of magazines used in semiautomatic firearms;
Allow current and retired “qualified law enforcement officers” withidentification to carry concealed firearms in other states, subject to thosestates’ restrictions on carrying concealed firearms;Establish a school counseling demonstration grant program.
For more information contact:GUN OWNERS ALLIANCE, Chris W. Stark – Director,
P.O. Box 1924
Crosby, Texas 77532-1924
Ph. (713) 202-9548 Fax (810) 283-7459
http://www.GOA-Texas.org
e-mail: Director@GOA-Texas.org
IRON HORSE TRIKE GOD DOWNED–The main mechanic, Paul Venturo, behind the success of car-powered Iron Horse Trikes is Rosewell, New Mexico was run off the road recently. Week before last on a Wednesday at 7:30 Paul was run off the road on his brand new 2000 Wide Glide H-D. The bikes was totaled.
Paul has been in a comma for over a week. Don Center, the owner of Iron Horse Trikes has been going to the hospital and spending hours talking to Paul, trying to revive him. Paul has worked of Don for 4 years. Paul broke everything on his left side, left foot, leg, kneecap, arm and wrist, but the crucial aspects of the accident were the brain bleeders, which rendered him unconscious.
We wish him luck and a positive and full recovery. If you would like to send a buck or two to help defray medical expenses, his bank is Well Fargo, Rosewell, New Mexico, account number 1352516198. Any donations will be acknowledged and appreciated. Thank you.
HEY, I’M DONE–I quit focusing an hour ago. I’m snorting Diet Cokes and praying for parts. Phil arrived with the paint and a bill that floored me, but it’s a fuckin’ knockout. I hope to have a report on the Buell’s progress over the weekend, and I just got word that the Dallas Shovelhead is being torn down for paint in the next couple of weeks.
I’m headed to Dallas in a few weeks, and there maybe something to look at.
I’m fading and need to get into the garage and to work. I want this damn thing fired this weekend so we can ride, goddamnit.–Bandit
28 June, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–The Jack Daniels BBQ was a hit, we had over 200 bikes in and out. Weplaced a booth with a few of our bikes and goodies to sell, Roger Bourgetfrom Bourget’s Bike Works was present, posing for photos, talking to peopleand helping with the judging. The bike show was an event, bikes coming andgoing made it extra hard to judge, but late in the afternoon we managed tochoose the favorites. Best of Show went to a ’50s Pan-Shovel chopper (photoabove). Sure, it was not the nicest, most perfect bike, but it was the onlyguy who showed up on a rigid, kickstart, jockey shift, old- school chopper.While all the HOG bikes and chrome barges sparkled in the hot sun,the trusty old chopper waited patiently while dripping oil for its turn tohead back the 60 miles or so home.
The choice of Best of Show was my choice, solely, based on what I’m writingabove, and many other little things. The obvious lotsa money bikes werethere, but the old chopper caught my eye. Maybe some people have learned thelesson, it’s not only the bike, but the story behind it. We had as manyas 50 of our bikes parked around, from simple mods to full customs, allin a family type of camaraderie, which made the day a better one for us andour customers.We hope next year Bandit might join us, get loaded on Jack and taste thekick ass BBQs all over the grass lot.
The HOG MDA run took place Sunday (also). Seems that the attendance waspretty good, although rain in the mountains created a quick return to thecity.Someone heard that they (HOG) would not attend the BBQ because they werenot “formally” invited Tsk..Tsk… (that’s stupid)
The WCC bike is already painted and ready for final assembly. Next week wewill load some photos for the Bikernet.com guys to enjoy. The metalflaketangerine is looking very good, but you guys will be the judge.
Word was passed among the bikers at the BBQ for the search of choppers forThe Horse magazine, as well as an invitation to join Bikernet and sendtheir photos. We will try to load some photos up in the near future.
That’s it for now, we are working hard on the WCC and theSturgis trip is just down the road. Like everyone else heading to the BlackHills, we have a ton of work ahead of us, so I’ll make this short and headback to the dungeon, er…shop.
— Jose, Caribbean BikernetAgent.
MOTORCYCLE RIGHTS ALERT–GET INVOLVED–Hey all you bikers out there, I just got the following e-mail from Ray at theMMRA (Minnesota Motorcycle Riders Association). If you’re interesting in yourrights as a motorcycle enthusiast, read and write! ?THANKS! (You can justcopy and paste any of these letters into your word processor, fill in theproper names and send away.) It does help to send these letters. This is anationwide issue!
It would be good for everyone to write to their U.S. senator and representativeon this issue. If anyone receives a written response, please ask them to senda copy to the MMRA and we can pass them on to the MRF.
Ray Egan
Executive Director
Minnesota Motorcycle Riders Association Inc.
P.O. Box 18067
Minneapolis, Minn. 55418-0067
Phone: (763) 541-1704
Toll Free: (800) 541-1704
Fax: (763) 425-0176
SAMPLE LETTER TO SEND TO YOUR SENATOR–[Address to The Honorable______, United States Senate, Washington, D.C. 20510]
Dear Senator _____,
Recently, the White House nominated North Carolina trauma surgeon Jeffrey Runge to be the next Administrator of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.?
I am concerned about this nomination, because Dr. Runge has supported NHTSA?s ?passive approach? to traffic safety and its emphasis on injury reduction over accident prevention. ?Traffic crashes are predictable and preventable and therefore are not accidents,? Dr. Runge and other physicians wrote in September 1999. I would like to know how that belief squares with Congress, because, in TEA-21, the Congress made accident prevention NHTSA?s number one mission.
Despite TEA-21, injury reduction still dominates NHTSA. According to ?Wrong Turn? — the June 11 cover story in New Yorker Magazine — the epidemiologists and their followers at NHTSA felt ?that the best way to combat the epidemic on the highways was to shift attention from the driver to the vehicle. No other country pursued the passive strategy as vigorously, and no other country had such high expectations for its success. But America’s slipping record on auto safety suggests that somewhere in the logic of that approach there was a mistake. And, if so, it necessarily changes the way we think about car crashes.? Isn?t the NHTSA-Ford-Firestone :?controversy? reason enough to begin to ?change the way we think about car crashes???
Like other motorcyclists, I am committed to safety on the road through accident prevention, such as more resources for state-run rider safety training and a national program of making motorists aware of motorcycles. Will Dr. Runge support or oppose accident prevention strategies or will he keep attention focused away ?from the driver to the vehicle???
I urge you to read the important New Yorker Magazine article as you consider the Runge nomination. For more information, please contact me or call the Motorcycle Riders Foundation at (202) 546-0983.
Sincerely,
[Name and Address]
Here’s a great wheelie by an ET racer. While they don’t generate the attention the pro bikes do, the sport classes have their share of exciting moments. Sorry I can’t ID him yet, but hopefully I will.
SEATTLE DRAGS THIS WEEKEND-BE THEREas the AHDRA brings Seattle race fans two full days of the fastest V-Twin action inthe world on June 30 and July 1. Downtown Harley-Davidson, DestinationHarley-Davidson; Eastside Harley-Davidson will present the PacificNationals. The show was a great success in 2000, and AHDRA plans to stagethe biggest show yet at Seattle International Raceway. Our webmaster, the Gangster and Bikernet correspondent Helen Wolfe will be covering the event and handing out stickers (if the bookkeeper send the damned things….) Stop them and say hello.
Coming off back to back races in Norwalk, Ohio, and Denver, Colo., the points chase is heating up at this mid-season sixth event on the AHDRA National Points Tour. California’s,Chicago Joe leads the JIMS Top Fuel ranks in National and Western points,but New Jersey’s Drums Brancaccio (Out of Time/Bammer Racing), the onlyrider to pilot three fuel bikes in AHDRA competition, is close behind.At this time, Drums is not expected to compete in Seattle. Dave O’Hara,however, will compete. Following a monumental first-ever win at last week’sRocky Mountain Nationals that tied him for the West points lead with ChicagoJoe, O’Hara and the “Hell Racing” team are fired up for competition atSeattle International Raceway.
Eastside Harley-Davidson will host the AHDRA “Kick Start Party” on June 28, beginning at 5 p.m. Reality Motorsports/ Eastside Harley-Davidson?s Kristine Becker,AHDRA?s first-ever female JIMS Top Fuel rider, will be on hand for autographs,along with entertainment, food and beverage.
The fun continues on Fridaynight when Children?s Ride 6 hosts the first ever, Pre-Ride Party at Freddie?sClub in Auburn, Wash. The party gets underway at 4 p.m. and goes until 10 p.m.Party participants can register for Children?s Ride 6 and purchase raffletickets for a Harley-Davidson Road King Classic to be given away at SeattleInternational Raceway. Seattle local Steve Huff will be on hand with twonitro machines, including his 200 mph JIMS Top Fueler that led racingicon Jim McClure to a 9th National Championship. Live music, great doorprizes and plenty of food will also be available. Freddie?s Club is locatedat 333 15th St., NE.
On July 1, motorcycleriders from all over the Northwest will participate in Children?s Ride6. The escorted ride will leave from Sammamish State Park and head to SeattleInternational Raceway for the Pacific Nationals, presented by DowntownHarley-Davidson, Destination Harley-Davidson and Eastside Harley-Davidson.All proceeds from Children?s Ride 6 and the Harley-Davidson Road King Classicraffle will benefit the uncompensated care program at Children?s Hospital,which assures quality care to all children of the Northwest, regardlessof their ability to pay. Last year over 850 motorcycles participated, raisingover $133,000 for Children?s Hospital. For more information on Children?sRide 6, call (206) 368-4876 or visit the Web site at www.childrens-ride.com.
Event Details:Gates open both daysat 8 a.m. Qualifying begins Saturday at 10:30 a.m. and eliminations beginat 12:30 p.m. on Sunday.Admission is $25 forone day, and $35 for the weekend. H.O.G. members receive a $5 discountwith a valid card; Children (6-12) are admitted for $5. Ages 5 andunder receive free admission.
For more information onthe Pacific Nationals presented by Downtown Harley-Davidson, DestinationHarley-Davidson and Eastside Harley-Davidson, please contact the AHDRAat (336) 924-2095 or visit www.ahdra.com
THEN catch the drags in Mission, B.C., on July 14-15 for more Harley DragRacing with the CMDRA (Canadian Motorcycle Drag Racing Association) atMission Raceway Park. Log on to www.cmdra.com for more info.And the following weekend in Mission, B.C. on July 21-July 22 Top FuelHarleys second debut with the NHRA at the NHRA Canadian National Open.
Hope to see you all at the races!!!!
ROGUE COPS ATTACK BIKERS–Actually, Rogue sent me this shot, but Buch Lovell is working on a book of Cops on Bikes, a coffee table masterpiece. If you know of any old prints of cop bikes or cops on bikes, don’t hesitate to contact us. We want him to finish this damn thing and get the Pedro cops off my ass. You can send the shots to Bikernet, P.O. Box 1168, San Pedro, Calif. 90733-1168. We’ll scan them and return them unharmed and without bullet holes.
BIKER EXECUTIVE WANTED–Dear friends, we would really appreciate it if you would pass this along toyour readers!Thanks, ?Bob Illingworth,
Sturgis Motorcycle Museum and Hall of Fame
President and Acting Director
Executive Director Position,Sturgis Motorcycle Museum And Hall Of Fame,Seeking Individual For Full Time Year Round Director Position. ?CandidateWill Be Responsible For The Complete Operation Of The Museum Including GrantWriting And Other Fund Raising Programs. Send Resume ?To:
Sturgis Motorcycle Museum
P.O. Box 602
Sturgis, S.D. 57785
CHOPPERS INC. ON BIKERNET–One of the major up and coming shops on the East Coast, Billy Lang’s Choppers Inc., is hopping. We were fortunate to feature his latest creation on Bikernet. Check it out in Wrench’s Bike Barn. Here’s his latest creation and a banner so you can find this hot head from the east. The link would be www.choppersinc.com.
” The Knuck Sandwich originally was going to inherit the ’46 EL mill that my red Pan was supposed to get,” said Billy. “I decided instead to use KnuckleheadPower, USA’s 84- inch twin carb engine. They build a great product. The frame is a ’39 Knuck frame that I paid $500 for-severely bent. I paid $400 for the 1935 VL springer. Trying to build something with old parts cheap, except for the engine. I’ll send some updated pics next week.”
BUELL REPORT PART II– Installed the 55t international Buell pulley on my S2 yesterday. I also had to put back on the 29t trans pulley.?Started doing the rear belt adjustment. Man, I turned the fuckin axle adjusters all the way out and still had 3 to 4 inches of belt deflection. What the hell is going on here??
So I went to the?Buell parts manuals. The belt for the Buell listed is a 128t. So I go count the teeth on my belt. 128 teeth, right on, so what the fuck is the deal here? I called up my Buell guy at the factory and P/N for the 128 tooth belt was correct. OK, now what? Is there a different swing arm, shock? All bad news. All shocks and swing arms are the same P/N. So that was the good news with more good news coming.
Well, after some more digging around, the factory found the correct P/N for the belt match when using the 55t rear pulley. It’s a “Swiss” Buell P/N! It is not listed in the Buell part manuals! Again my buddy from Wisconsin comes through. The “Swiss” belt?has?125 teeth.
My connect says “this will fix your problem Paul.” Well it?makes sense to me now. I thought that it had to be a different belt. It costs a hell of a lot less to make only one type of swing arm and have a different size belt to make this work.
So I?had Mike (Paladin) order that puppy for me and it should be at the shop a few days before I head off to Chicago. I hope. Anyway, here are the P/N’s for the International belt and pulley:
Pulley: P/N 327727-97Y 55 tooth International rear pulley ?
?Belt : P/ N??40038-91??125 tooth Swiss/International belt
Stock Buell belt is 128t Its P/N is 40022-91
?Note: This?belt?is not listed in the Buell parts manuals.?(Stock belt P/N 40022-91 128t) Ratio- 55t divided 29=1.896 Stock is 2.26 for 27/61 combo or 2.10 for the 29/61 combo
Hope this info is of help for the long-distance, high gas mileage Buell rider.
Later, Paul
EXHAUST SYSTEM CRITERIA– How about a Harley-Davidson aftermarket exhaust system roundup. But not the usual horsepower stats, I want to know how each manufacuters stack up for:
1- ease of installation
2- resistance to bluing
3- warranty
4- heat shields
5- quality fit and finish
6- sound
7 – tuneablility
8- legal considerations
9 – curb appeal
Not all of us are into 140hp monsters. I ride around town and like to have my fatboy looking sharp. I don’t want to spend $500 on a new system and find out it is crap that will be blue in a week or, worse yet, sounds like crap.
–“Jeff” This could be a tough task–Bandit On to Page 3
28 June, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
Last week at the drags, two riders collided and both ended up in the hospital. They are coming along well. We’re in the heat of the season. We are also fortunate to have Helen Wolfe on board following the drag racing season. Check out our “Down the Track” section created by Helen and the Digital Gangster, our V.P. and Web master. They have created a state-of-the-art database so we can bring you the news as fast as the timing light.
I can’t think straight. I attended a Beach Ride meeting last night, then met with Dr. Hamster and the lovely Veronica to discuss the run for the Badlands. The Doctor wanted to know how many thousands of miles we would cover each day. The smoking brunette wanted to know how many stops we were going to make, and I want to know which one of us she plans on sleeping with each evening. Then I met my chrome connection on the corner of an Orange County ghetto at midnight and immediately returned to put the Buell back together until 3 a.m.. Over the weekend we’ll be back on the road and testing for Sturgis. We better get to the news before I nod off:
One of the items being auctioned off to pay the hospital bills for the downed racers.
UPDATE ON JIMS TOP FUEL RACERS DALE NUNGESSER AND ROCKY MANN and GRIZ ROBINSONIt was late afternoon, during the third round of Qualifying at Bandimere Speedway on Saturday, June 16th when JIMS Top Fuel Champion Dale Nungesser, TF 1 and Rocky Mann, TF 737 collided at the top end of the track sending both into the wall.
Both were alert upon arrival at St Anthony?s and made recounts of the incident. Rocky says he remembers drifting over (he was in the left lane), knowing that he was going to get the cone and was praying that Dale was far enough behind him. That wasn?t the case, as Dale was only 0.010 seconds behind him as the readerboard recorded. Rocky says his next memory was being awakened by EMT?s. Dale was also alert and asked what his time was and about the condition of his bike. His MPH showed 456.85 on the readerboard.
Dale suffered a ruptured spleen, which they removed. His right hand is severly injured; pins were inserted in an operation on his hand Saturday. He has puncture wounds and major abrasions, especially in his shoulder area. He has a punctured lung and 9 of 12 broken ribs. He has been heavily sedated.
Report from Diane Nungesser as of Thursday, June 28th: Dale has developed pneumonia and has been running a high temp for a few days and has a very high white blood count even though he has been on antibiotics. His lungs are infected, his right foot has a small fracture but?will heal on its own and he is still on a ventilator. The good news is his lungs are showing signs of improvement and his vital signs are solid as a rock according to his doctors.?
Rocky Mann suffered trauma to both knees and was operated on to repair damage to his kneecaps. He also suffered broken fingers on both hands which will require surgery. He is reported to have a broken ankle and abrasions.
Rocky suffered cardiac arrest Sunday night possibly due to the morphine dosage. Fortunately his wife Linda was with him and called for the doctors as he was not on a monitor when it happened. His arms and hands are bandaged (Linda says he looks like a mummy) to protect the broken fingers and abrasions. He has 4 broken ribs and bones in his foot.
Rocky was taken out of intensive care by Wednesday, June 20th. His CAT scans and MRI?s came back good. He?s been moved to a nursing home in Phoenix for six weeks before he can start physical therapy (walking). Linda Mann phoned the AHDRA office and reported that Rocky’s transfer, via airlift went very well.
We spoke with Griz Robinson today. Griz, was injured Sunday, when his bike exploded in the burnout box. He is doing fine, but is very sore.?
Well wishes can be sent to:
Griz Robinson
709 E. 4th Street
Pueblo, CO 81001
Patient: Dale Nungesser/Room #260 SICU
C/O St. Anthony’s Central Hospital
4231 W. 16th Avenue
Denver, CO 80204
Home Address: Home Address: CAR RENTERS BEWARE–Big Brother may be riding shotgun. In a case that could help set the bar for the amount of privacy drivers of rental cars can expect, a Connecticut man is suing a local rental company, Acme Rent-a-Car, after it used GPS (Global Positioning System) technology to track him and then fined him $450 for speeding three times. The case underscores the ways in which new technologies can invade people’s privacy, said Richard Smith, chief technologist at the not-for-profit Privacy Foundation. “Soon our cell phones will be tracking us,” he said. “GPS could be one more on the checklist here. Frankly, giving out speeding tickets is the job of the police, not of private industry.”
Dale Nungesser
502 E. 4th Avenue
Belle Plaine, KS 67013
Sign Dale’s Guest Book by clicking on:
Rocky Mann
40172 N. 50th Street
Cave Creek, AZ 85331
Rocky Mann
Life Care of Scottsdale
9494 E. Becker Lane
Scottsdale, AZ 
BIKERNET ONLINE BIKE SHOPS–We want to deliver the best of the industry to our readers, so we’ve been working with two reputable online bike shops so you can get the parts you need and the service right here on Bikernet. So check ’em out and let us know how they treat you, and if they have the selection you’re after.
HARDTAIL MAGAZINE’S RIDE-IN SHOW–Hardtail Magazine will host a “Ride-In” Bike Show at TB Scotts restaurantin Corona, Calif., on July 28. A trophy and $200 prize will beawarded to the best ride-in rigid frame motorcycle. Trophies only will beawarded for Best Swingarm, Best Softail, Best Paint, Peoples Choice andBest Use of a Primo Belt Drive. Entry fee is $30 per bike at the gate. Each paid entry includes lunch, abrass riding bell and a Hardtail CD. Rigid frame entires will receive aHardtail T-shirt while supplies last. TB Scotts is located at the 91Freeway and Lincoln Avenue. Call (909) 340-3111 or (909) 340-3474 for moreinformation.
2001 LAUGHLIN COLLECTORS TRUCK BANK–We carry the entire line of General Meredith’s truck collection in Bandit’s Gift Shop. If you’re interested in the 1939 Ford truck from Laughlin for this year, holler and we’ll hook you up.
GOOD MORNING, CLASS– The following is today’s simple two-cow lesson in types and styles of government. No matter which system of government, there seems to be a common theme. Do you know what it is? (See answer below!)
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows, the government takes them both and provides you with milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows, the government takes them both and sells you the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull.
CORPORATE: You have two cows, you sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows, the government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country that has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
WIDEGEAR–Here’s the engineered solution for fitting today’s mega-width tires to late model (’91 and up) 5-speeds. It comes complete with all the parts necessary for in-frame installation, including JE’s exclusive triple lip oil seal, 4-point trapdoor bearing and chamfered, extra-hard transmission spacer.
Incorporating the smoother, quieter, stronger and quicker Twist Gear helical fifth-gear technology, correct tire clearance is provided by extending both the transmission and engine sprocket shafts instead of playing around with wheel or drivetrain offsets. WideGear also incorporates an engine shaft end bearing (requires suitable outer primary) for additional support.
For more info, contact Johnson Engineering (319) 984-9298, Twistgear@juno.com.
SCREAMIN’ EAGLE PARTS AND AHDRA ANNOUNCE $12,500 HIGH STAKES SHOOTOUT–screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts announced today that it has teamed up with AHDRA to host the Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts Las Vegas High Stakes Shootout, where one lucky winner will go home with a check for $10,000.
The shootout will be held Oct. 19 at the Strip at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, the night before the largest and last event of the 2001 National Point Series, the AHDRA JIMS Las Vegas Nationals presented by Las Vegas Harley-Davidson.
This is the biggest purse in history going compeletely to Harley-Davidson sportsman racers. In addition to $10,000 going to the winner, $2,500 will be given to the runner-up and both will be presneted with a one-of-a-kind trophy made with Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts.
All professional and novice racers are encouraged to participate. You must be a current member of AHDRA and all participants must pre-register by Oct. 12. Pre-registration will be available on ahdra.com starting July 15.
Entry fee is $100 and participants will receive one gate entry ticket, one commemorative competitiors plate, a Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts T-shirt and an entry to win one full year of membership and entry fees for the 2002 season. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA).
DENNIS MANNING INTERVIEW IN HOT ROD BIKES– I’ve been fortunate to interview some of the major racing legends in our industry. In the August issue there’s an interview with tech wizard Dennis Manning, who continues to chase the world land speed record. The other day I interviewed Don Vesco, a man who has been 430 mph on the salt and hopes to push the motorcycle land speed record close to 400 mph. Hang on!
VICTORY MEETS REDWING– On June 24, NASCAR stars Kyle and Richard Petty will lace up their Red Wing boots and jump on their Victory motorcycles to kick off the 7th annual “Kyle Petty Charity Ride Across America.”
During this year’s ride, Red Wing Shoes is giving one lucky fan the chance to walk in Kyle Petty’s shoes…literally. Kyle will be autographing and giving away one pair of his custom-made Red Wing boots, which feature his embroidered racing number and special black and white checkered soles. Fans have a chance to win the boots by logging on to the Red Wing Shoes Web site at www.redwingshoe.com during the charity ride.
The “Kyle Petty Charity Ride” begins June 24 in Folsom, Calif., and ends July 1 at the Petty farm, near Charlotte, N.C., with a grand celebration featuring a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. More than $2 million has been raised to benefit children’s hospitals across the country since the first ride in ’95.
To learn more about the ride, check www.redwingshoe.com. Information about Victory, the New American Motorcycle, can be found online at www.victory-usa.com.
RUN FOR BREATH CHARITY RIDE AT CHARLOTTE H-D–I talked to Edge and he said he will be here for the Run For Breath. He said he wasplanning on doing a story on the run for The Horse, which is real cool. Things are going good as far as the run goes. We are having banners made “Welcoming The Horse.” There seems to be a lot of excitement being generated in the community by the run. Two of the local newspapers are doing stories on the run. “The Meanest” and I have been working hard promoting the bike show. The law has even gotten involved, they are giving us a police escort to Ben’s V-Twin, that is where the run starts. I look forward to meeting with you in July while I am in L.A. Don’t forget as the date gets closer to send me the directions. Thanks again for all your help!Later, Mike?
DENNIS RODMAN FINDS– a bottle on the beach and picks it up…Suddenly a female genie appears from the bottle.
“Master, I may grant you one wish,” says the genie with a smile.
Hey, Bitch. Don’t you know who I am? I don’t need no woman to give menuttin!”, barks Rodman.
The genie pleads… But Master I must grant you a wish or I will be returnedto this bottle forever.”
Dennis thinks a moment… then grumbling about the inconvenience of itall… He says, “OK OK… I wanna’ wake up with three women in my bed in themorning. So just do it!” (giving the genie an evil glare)”Now leave me alone!” he screams.
So the very annoyed genie says, “So be it!” and disappears back into thebottle.Next morning, he wakes up in bed with three women,Lorena Bobbit, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton.
His penis is gone, his leg is broken, and he has no health insurance.
HOLLISTER UPDATE–Mr. Bandit, the Hollister rally opens Friday the first weekend in July. It is puton by The Downtown Committee, with lots of help from Tophatters MC.Street events are on East Street, one block east of the main drag, San Benito, which is closed off to bikes only till Sunday. This year, Gypsy Tour willopen Bolado Park on July 4. There is entertainment and events all week (bulldog boxing, Saturday/Sunday) and they have camping. Ride On! Wino Joe,USA
BUELL REPORT– Time to update the Buell report. Not much going on lately. It’s kinda in between events, etc.Today I serviced a 2001 X-1, all black with PM wheels. The tail section was polished. A lot of people in the shop noticed the bike and had a lot of comments on it.?The polished tail section really made you take notice.
This X-1 also had a set of BUB?chrome dual exhaust pipes?installed on it.?All the people who saw it really liked the?pipes. More?important, really,?were the comments on the sound?coming from the pipes?of the X-1.
You have to remember here that a lot of the?X-1 Buells that are go-fasters use, for the most part, the Buell race?pipe.?Because of the?Buell DDFI injection system, you are kind of limited to what you can bolt on to the bike. So this really was?the first?time?for an exhaust system that looked and sounded way different.
The sound is, in my opinion,?the closest thing to sounding like an H-D Sportster?on steroids! It even got all the (chopper) “Buells Suck!” mechanics to take notice. Everybody was checking them out. When I came back from a test ride, I was asked how it ran.?I told them it was a little sluggish some till about?3500 rpm. Then the bike started to come on pretty good up to about 6000 rpm. The X-1 had a K&N air filter but?still had the?stock ignition module.
I think the Buell race module really needed to be installed here and would have helped the overall performance on the X-1. It has better ignition curves and a higher rev limit.?Maybe even the Dynojet Power Commander.
I would have liked to have put it on the “wheel” (dyno) and checked it out.?That?wasn’t gonna happen as this was one?those?hectic Saturdays that doesn’t?allow for?testing (real work). Just oil changes and bolt-on shit!
I haven’t seen any dyno sheets from BUB on the pipes. I would like to compare them with the?the Buell race pipe to see what really is going on.
The thing here?that I should?say is I myself want the best performance from an exhaust system?that I put on my Buell. I don’t really care how it sounds or looks. The BUB exhaust is well made, pretty cool looking?and sounds like a Harley. It will appeal to the?Buell owner who wants the Harley sound and likes the look of a high-quality chrome exhaust system. In saying all that, the BUB exhaust pipes are quite unique and,?when installed on a Buell, they will set the bike apart from all the rest.
One other note here and an important one to me cause I have to work on the things: It was pretty straight forward in getting to the drain plug for the primary/tranny oil. It also was a breeze to get at the lock nut and screw?to adjust the primary chain. BUB pipes and Dennis Manning get the old thumbs up from me today.
–Later, Paul
On to Page 2
June 21, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
DEVIL DOLLS FIRST GIRL POWER RUN–JULY 1. All bikes welcome. All women riders are welcome. There will be Bands, BBQ, contests and mo’. The men are supposed to meet at Erin Evans Custom Cycles or at Eaglerider. Here’s the Devil Dolls hotline: (415) 546-3700.
I need to warn you guys that this is a set up, you know, a trick bag. The hot line is to a phone sex number.
HARD OF HEARING–Monica Lewinsky walks into her local dry cleaning store andtells the guy, “I’ve got another dress for you to clean.”
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, “Come again?”
“No”, she says, “Mustard…..”
STURGIS RALLY UPDATE–The 2001 Sturgis Rally is just 7 weeks away.This year we are able to provide your Web site with liveupdating pictures of downtown Sturgis. This is a freeservice. Go here for more information:http://www.sturgisrally.net
We are also happy to advertise your Web site on our popularSturgis Banner Exchange network. This too, is free. Moreinformation here:http://www.sturgisrally.net
THREE ELDERLY LADIES– are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons when they are approached by a man in a trenchcoat. He steps in front of them and whips open his coat exposing his huge, rock-hard penis.
The first woman immediately has a stroke.
The second woman immediately has a stroke.
The third woman, being older and more feeble, can’t reach that far.
–Deasal
CYRIL HUZE UPDATE–Last Monday, a guy from San Mateo called to have a bike built. He’s interested in?Expresso, but wants some modifications like turn signals, possibility of passenger pegs, etc…I stopped the molding and paint preparation in case we have to drill holes, etc…He was supposed to?be in Florida this Monday, but yesterday called to postpone one week.?Waiting also for a down payment.
So, I freeze everything for one?more?week. With or without him, I will finish the bike, but it’s going to be two weeks, at least, without any update.
–Cyril
CALL FOR ASSISTANCE– Earlier this year, Remeo Carano and his 12-year-old daughter, Jessica, were struck broadside by a pickup that “didn’t see them” while on Remeo’s Harley. Remeo sustained severe injuries and lost his leg above the knee and Jessica was in a coma. She eventually regained consciousness, but remains partially paralyzed from the accident.
Remeo was a North Port, Fla., fireman who spent his career helping others, and like the true fighter he is, has not let his misfortune hold him back. He is currently working on getting his instructor’s license so he can teach future fire/rescue team members.
My name is J.J., and last year I organized an event called NOODLEFEST at Chubbyz Bar in Port Charlotte, Fla., with owner Danny Lutinski to raise money for the family of our fallen brother, James “CHEECO” Bishop. With the help of many local and national contributing sponsors, we raised over $7,000 for Cheeco’s wife and two children.
I am hoping we can turn this event into a greater success for Remeo and Jessica with your help! Any items you can donate for our auction and raffle from gift certificates, t-shirts, parts, or whatever will be greatly appreciated. All proceeds from the event go right to Remeo and Jessica, including the bar take for the day, and all entertainment is donated as well. THIS IS NOT A MONEY MAKING EVENT!!! THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT!
Donated items can be mailed to:
J.J. Armstrong
26358 Tobago Dr.
Punta Gorda, FL 33983
ALL TAX DONATION FORMS WILL BE PROMPTLY SIGNED AND RETURNED LIKE LAST YEAR, AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO RESERVE VENDOR?OR DISPLAY SPACE, OR HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, YOU CAN EMAIL ME AT
The Blue Flame is currently for sale at Micah McCloskey’s Custom Cycles in Canoga Park, Calif.; (818) 348-8967.
LA CALENDAR BIKE SHOW UPDATES FOR JUNE–New Bike Show Hostess Brenda FoxThe LA Calendar Bike Show is pleased to announce that actress, stuntwomanand biker babe Brenda Fox will be working with us as mistress ofceremoniesand hostess at the Calendar Bike Show the weekend of July 21 and 22.Brendawill be on stage throughout the weekend to introduce activities,interviewnotable personalities and our Exhibitors at the show and to keepspectatorsinformed of what’s going on. Plus Brenda will be helping out at Bandit’s(aka Keith Ball of former Easyrider editorship fame) Bikernet.com snakeoiland T-shirt booth throughout the weekend where you can meet her.Brenda Fox will also be hosting the BikerNet party onboard the QueenMary onSaturday night in the Observation Lounge from 9 p.m. to midnight with aliveJazz band where she’ll be giving away highly valuable BikerNet doorprizes.And did we tell you about the huge fireworks display aboard the QueenMary,covering Long Beach Harbor and lighting up the downtown cityscape. Youdon’twant to miss this.Check out Brenda’s too hot picture riding a stretched chopper on oursite at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm
And if you’re smart you’ll book a hotel room aboard the Queen so you canwalk from the show on Saturday evening when it ends at 8 p.m. to the QueenMary’s restaurant for dinner, to the party and fireworks show, then fallright into your nearby stateroom bed for the night, wake up in themorningand crawl back to the park. There are just a few rooms left, so give theQueen’s reservation desk a call at (562) 435-3511.
HOLLYWOOD BLOND BEER IS OUR NEW BREW MASTERLike most of us, Bike Show producer Jim Gianatsis enjoys a great qualitybeer, and at the top of Jim’s favorite list is Hollywood Blond Beerwhich isbrewed here in California and found in specialty markets like Gelsons.Thetaste is somewhat similar to Sam Adams, but we think even better. Wewerehappy that Hollywood Blond will be our featured beer at this year’sShow,with one of our beautiful FastDates.com Calendar models serving as theHollywood Blond spokes model throughout the weekend. We hope you’ll trythisgreat beer during the course of the weekend and choose to make it yourfavorite beer as well.
NEW Pre-1956 Classic Vintage Bike Contest ClassAlso added to the bike show this year is a new Vintage Bike Class forpre-1965 bikes, a spin-off from the previous Classic Streetbike Classnowfor 1965 and newer bikes. The Vintage Class is being puttogether by bike show contest judge and famed bike restorer Don Whalen.Manyof Don’s restored bikes are featured in the premier collections of OtisChandler, the Petersen Museum, The Barbour Museum, Jay Leno and others.Donpromises to have the class filled with some of the finest vintagecollectors’ bikes on the West Coast. It should be a real treat!
Exhibitor Spaces Almost Sold Out–As of this date we have over 80 major manufacturers signed for theupcomingJuly event. Many Exhibitors joining us from as far back as the EastCoastwith big rigs include Drag Specialties and RC Components.This is shaping up to be our 3rd sellout year again despite theexpanded2-day format. If you would like your company to be part of America’spremierstreetbike event please give us a call quickly this week at(818) 223.8550.
HOLLISTER 4TH OF JULY UPDATE–Thank you for yoursupport. Checkout NEWS FROM THE CHIEF–June is the month bikers are busting out all over, and Sonny is at the Laconia Rally this weekend in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire with 350,000 others. Saturday and Sunday he and club brothers can be found at Weirs Beach Drive-In. Next weekend, he will be at Steel & Skin in San Diego, and the Bike Show & Swap Meet in Canoga Park. Get details and maps for his personal appearances: http://sonnybarger.com/meet “Hells Angel” is now printed in five languages (the newest is Italian) and the Japanese edition is rumored to be rolling out next (not to mention Estonian and Turkish). See what all the editions look like, including the limited Collector Edition which is still available by special order:http://sonnybarger.com/book Sonny Barger Cave Creek Cycles now has its own Web site, where you can order shop shirts and other support merchandise. Visit and see for yourself:http://sonnybargerscycles.com If anybody thinks Sonny is in retirement, they should try keeping up with him. He’s not slowing down, just getting even better. The next project is his second book with the same co-authors, Keith and Kent Zimmerman. They are already fired up and putting together a great collection of biker tales, and our thanks go out to those who have contributed stories. “Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free” will be about clubs and independent riders of both sexes, showing the rich and complex culture that has been misundertood by the general public and press for decades. Those who have experienced it will be proud, and those who have not will be enlightened. It will be published by HarperCollins in 2002. The photo galleries have more shots of Sonny and fans at events, the guestbook has entries from all around the world, and you can cast your vote in the new poll about sex on a motorcycle: REDLINE DEAL OF THE WEEK– Well summer is here and if you can stay dry (not here) you should be?starting to rack up?some miles on your rides about now. If there’s anything we can do to make those trips a little better let me know (since I’m not?putting on any miles I may as well make your life easier) and we’ll do our best to help. On to the good stuff, our?Monthly Free Gear winner for May is Dwight S.Dwight?is the proud owner of a new set of Heavy Duty Tie Down Straps and one of our famous Water Bottles. Thanks Dwight and everyone else for entering. June’s Special Deal is on Coleman/Peak1 Tents. The (Aries which is standard in our Deluxe Packages is on sale (only to you receiving the newsletter) for $99.00. Check out the nice article City Cycle Motorcycle News ( That will do it for now, good riding to you. Rick Thomas PENDING GUN LAWS– H.R. 31 (Bartlett): This bill, the Citizens’ Self-Defense Act of 2001, wouldreaffirm the right of an individual to obtain a firearm for self-defense andto use the firearm to protect himself, his family, and his home. H.R. 70 (Jackson-Lee): This bill would:Extend the labyrinthine rules making it almost impossible to legally teachyour kid the safe and responsible use of handguns by (1) expanding the rulesto semi-automatics; (2) raising the age to 21, and (3) raising the penaltyto five years in prison;Effectively require purchasers from licensees to purchase “gun storage orsafety devices”; With fairly narrow exceptions, impose a three year prison sentence if anindividual “recklessly” keeps a loaded firearm (or an unloaded firearm andammunition) which is used by a child to cause death or serious injury; Require that a child be accompanied by an adult at a gun show — a provisionwhich will effectively require the carding of gun show attendees;Allow the Attorney General to fund anti-gun safety education programs. GUN OWNERS ALLIANCE GORILLA REMOVER–A couple of days after a gorilla escaped from the zoo, a man wakes up onemorning to find the gorilla on his roof. So he calls the zoo and they send azookeeper over. The zookeeper arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got aladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun, a big bunch of bananas, and a mean oldpit bull. “What are you going to do”, the homeowner asks? “First, I’m gonna throw this bunch of bananas on the roof. While the gorillais distracted eating the bananas, I’m going to put this ladder up againstthe roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roofwith this baseball bat. When thegorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not letgo. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage inthe back of the van.” So the guy throws the bananas on the roof. Sure enough, the gorillainstantly starts munching and doesn’t pay any attention to the zookeeper ashe puts the ladder up, gets the bat and the shotgun and walks towards theladder. As he gets to the bottom of the ladder, he hands the shotgun to thehomeowner. “What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner. “If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!” DUCK OUT–As bikers we’re all wanderers, roaming roads all over the world, facing the elements like no other vehicle. It’s treacherous, but we love it. Sailors are the same in many respects, but watch out. Once you leave the harbor, there are no bar stops unless the toothless Captain decides to pull into port. Something’s happened to alter all that, and of course there’s a woman involved, a ship, a constant Internet connection and a dark challenge. I’ll keep you informed. In the meantime, we ride “like the feds are after us.” –Bandit
Wino Joe,USA
Redline Compact Camping & Travel Gear
PO Box 1113
Lakeville, MN 55044
http://www.redlinegear.com
Chris W. Stark – Director
P.O. Box 1924
Crosby, Texas 77532-1924
Ph. 1-713-202-9548 Fax 1-810-283-7459
http://www.GOA-Texas.org
email: Director@GOA-Texas.org
Bob’s been trying to get me to sail around the world with him for years. We’ve been through the Tahitian islands together, through the Panama Canal and from Cabo to Puerta Vallarta, but to this day he reminds me of the days when we discussed 6 months at sea. I couldn’t go. There were the girls back home, all the magazines I had to look after, the runs to Sturgis, the bikes to build and books to write.
June 21, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER LEGISLATIVE NEWSCompiled and Edited byBILL BISH,NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS–
TEXAS GOVERNOR VETOES BIKER ANTI-DISCRIMINATION BILL Despite anoutstanding lobbying effort by the Texas Motorcycle Rights Association andthe four Confederations of Clubs of Texas, and in spite of near unanimouspassage in the Texas Legislature, Governor Rick Perry vetoed landmarklegislation that would have made Texas the second state to make it illegal todiscriminate against motorcycle riders. Minnesota passed the nation’s firstbiker equal access law in 1998.
”We’ll just have to get a new governor and run another bill throughnext session,” said Sputnik, Chairman of the TMRA-II and member of theNational Coalition of Motorcyclists’ Legislative Task Force. ”I just sent aletter to Governor Perry promising him that, ‘You’ll remember this bill everyday of your upcoming campaign,’ because Texas bikers WILL elect a newgovernor in November!” Perry succeeded former Governor George W. Bush tofulfill his term of office after Bush resigned to run for President, and willstand election this fall.
JUSTICE FINALLY PREVAILS FOR KANSAS BIKER On April 13, 2001, theKansas Court of Appeals handed down its second decision overturning theillegal sentence of biker Richard B. Aikman for the crime of wearing a beltbuckle.
In 1997, Aikman was charged with various drug charges resulting frominformation obtained from a confidential informant and from a raid of hishome in Natoma, Kansas. The confidential informant provided authoritiesuntruthful information about Aikman being involved in the distribution ofmethamphetamine in exchange for leniency in charges he faced. He alsoinformed authorities that the biker had a cache of weapons in his home, whichincluded automatic weapons.
Law enforcement officials in full riot gear and aided with an armedpersonnel carrier burst into Aikman’s home. No weapons were discovered,other than some shotguns used for hunting. However, a small quantity ofmarijuana and rolling papers were found. Despite finding no methamphetamineor evidence of distribution, Aikman was charged with several serious drugcharges. He pled guilty to possession of marijuana and possession of drugparaphernalia. The conviction for possession of marijuana was Aikman’ssecond, which under Kansas law constitutes a felony. Sentencing in Kansas is controlled by the Kansas SentencingGuidelines.Aikman fell under the portion of the sentencing grid which specifiedprobation, and unless factors justify a more harsh sentence the judge mustimpose the probation. During the original sentencing, the sentencing judgeremarked on a belt buckle he had observed Aikman wear to court when he hadentered his plea. The belt buckle had the words “Sons of Silence” upon it.Acting on his own initiative, the judge announced he was going to depart onAikman’s sentence because Aikman had displayed evidence of gang affiliationby his belt buckle. There had been no allegations that the crimes for whichAikman was being sentenced had anything to do with involvement with the Sonsof Silence Motorcycle Club. There was no evidence that Aikman was a member ofthe Sons of Silence M/C, or that the Sons of Silence even existed. The judgegave Aikman probation for the possession felony but sentenced him to one yearin county jail for the misdemeanor paraphernalia charge.
Aikman appealed his conviction through Kansas A.I.M. Attorney KeithRenner, who also serves as legal counsel to the Confederation of Clubs ofKansas. The Kansas Court of Appeals overturned the conviction and remandedthe matter to the District Court for resentencing. However, once again thesentencing judge (the same judge) brought up the belt buckle issue. He alsomade several attempts to force Aikman to waive his Fifth Amendment rights byindicating that if Aikman would disavow any interest in the Sons of Silencehe would be treated lenient. However, if he failed to disavow, the judgemade it abundantly clear that he would be treated harshly. Aikman, however,stood his ground and refused to be bullied.
The judge not only sentenced him to one year in county jail on themisdemeanor, but sentenced him to one year in a state penitentiary for thefelony. The matter was once again appealed.
The issues in the second appeal were substantially the same as in thefirst. Aikman claimed that his First Amendment rights to freedom of speechand association were violated by the court’s consideration of an article ofwearing apparel professing support of a group, and that the court hadviolated his Fifth Amendment right to avoid self-incrimination for punishingAikman for failing to disavow interest in the Sons of Silence.
In very strong language, the Kansas Court of Appeals once againoverturned the sentences and remanded the matter to the District Court forresentencing under the instructions provided. The Court of Appeals ruledthat before the court can consider an issue relating to alleged gangmembership ”[e]vidence of gang membership must be relevant to the issuespresented atsentencing,” that the trial court violated Aikman’s FifthAmendment rights by punishing him for refusing to make any comment aboutmembership in the Sons of Silence, and that ”[a] defendant’s apparel atsentencing and his or her failure to disavow gang membership do notconstitute substantial and compelling reasons to support a departuresentence.”
The matter has not yet been returned to the District Court, but Renneris hopeful that his client will be released from court supervision instead ofbeing placed on probation since he has been under court supervision for overthree years while this matter was on appeal.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: ”Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’vegot.”JANIS JOPLIN
THE CITY BOY–A city boy moved to the country and bought a mule from an old farmer. Thefarmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next day, the farmerdrove up and said, “Sorry, but I have some bad news. The mule died.”
“Well, then, just give me my money back.”
“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
“OK, then. Just unload the mule.”
“What ya gonna do with him?”
“I’m going to raffle him off.”
“You can’t raffle off a dead mule!”
“Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later the farmer met up with the city boy and asked, “Whateverhappened with that dead mule?”
“I raffled him off. I sold a hundred tickets at two dollars apiece andmade a ninety-eight dollar profit.
“Didn’t anyone complain?”
“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
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CRASH DASHES HOPES FOR STRONG VR 1000 FINISH AT NEW HAMPSHIRE–A promising weekend of competitive practice and qualifying times turned to disappointment Monday for Harley-Davidson and Pascal Picotte, who crashed while running fourth during the early laps of the rain-delayed 78th annual Loudon Classic AMA Superbike race at New Hampshire International Speedway. Picotte remounted to finish 18th aboard his heavily damaged motorcycle, while teammate Mike Smith suffered a mechanical problem on lap 20 and did not finish.”I think we would have had a very good chance of finishing fourth or fifth, maybe even third,” said Picotte. “I don’t think we could have caught Eric (Bostrom) and Mat (Mladin), who were way out front, but I think we would have gotten stronger during the race.”According to Harley-Davidson Race Director John Baker, the weekend was another step forward in the program’s 2001 rebuilding effort.
A scoot recently built by Jose and his crew at Caribbean Custom Cycles.
The WCC is on the paint booth. All the fab, welding, molding, etc. is done.Hope to have it ready in a few days. The Jack Daniels BBQ is thisSunday, which means we are stuck with preparations, getting the bikes andtrailer ready, trophies and all that crap. The guys did make sometime to take a ride up into the mountains, all the way inside the CentralMountan Range last Sunday.
For general information, Puerto Rico is dividedby these mountains, they run east to west, and these are the fun roads totravel, mile after mile of twisties, fresh temperatures and mostly nohelmet. Cops stick to the main highways down by the coasts. These roads areperfect for short escapades on any given day.
A visit to the lakes and rivers or any of the roadside food vendors is amust; an almost “you have to” is eating pig on a spit (lechon asao) up inthe national forest of Guavate.Well, I guess enough of the tourism tips for this week, let’s get to thenews.
The Dia del Motociclista (motorcycle rider day) at the local race track wasa success, they claim to have an attendance of over 5,000 motorcycles. Withmusic, drag racing, burnouts galore and a lot of bike oggling. Thedownside is that most of the bikes (and more every year) are the Jap bikes,the Harley crowd seems to be heading somewhere else and avoiding themayhem.
This week end is the annual MDA ride, the local HOG chapter organizes theride up to the mountain town of Barranquitas, to the MDA house, many of theclubs get together to help out and hand out on this ride.
Sunday will be the Jack Daniels BBQ. It’s a contest for the best BBQsauce made with Jack. Amateur and pro competitors prepare the spit andsauces for the enjoyment of the crowd. At least 50 participants areexpected, and as I have said before, we will be running a bike show. Theawards will be: 3 places in Sportster, Big Twin and Custom, one best ofshow and best antique. We hope to have the photos available to post here inthe following weeks. (Yeah Bandit, I’ll save all the Jack I can get andtake it to Sturgis…)
Soon to come (we hope), is an article on The Horse. We are planning onfeaturing a short story and a local chopper, also on the works is a fullpictorial of a local iron maiden. Will post as this takes shape.
We would like to congratulate Roger Bourget (of BBW) in the catch andboarding of his first Blue Marlin. I guess his itch started with the onethat got away in the Northern coast of PR.
That’s it for this week, gotta go take some photos of my girfriend onher chopper. I’ll tell ya’ that Brenda’s photo on Bandit’s chopper has given me aheadache. Her bike will be featured in American Iron by the end of theyear, but she wants to send some photos to Bikernet. I’m guessing it’ssomething that only girls understand. I see myself standing in the cornershooting away while she racks some miles on the green chopper. Anyway,here’s a photo of the chopper, sans girlfriend.
Saludos, Jose
We need to see more of the girls of the Caribbean, those who ride. Oh, where are the 5-Balls? The trophies are waiting.
CHARITY RUN–Here is the latest link to the benefit we are putting on. Could you get iton the news? Would you like to be on the sponsor list? $100 minimun of merchandise.Good advertising. Thanks ROGUE
http://www.geocities.com/bubbafund/
We’re in–
SNYDER PURSUES F-USA NATIONAL DIRT TRACK SERIES POINTS LEAD– Jennifer Snyder continued her hunt for the Formula USA National Dirt Track Series Championship with a fourth place finish in the Ben Campanale Laconia Half Mile at the Rochester Fairgrounds on Friday night. Snyder, who four weeks ago became the first woman to ever win a national dirt track race, moved to second in overall points, just six behind leader Terry Poovey.
“It’s still early in the season, but Jennifer is fast becoming a formidable series championship contender,” said Harley-Davidson Director of Marketing Art Gompper. “With her natural ability, incredible work ethic and determination, she’s going to be a hard rider to beat.”
Snyder easily won her heat race Friday night, and was fourth off the starting line in the main event. She maintained fourth until the race was stopped due to a crash. After a single file restart, Snyder fell to sixth, but then reclaimed fourth with hard riding in difficult conditions.
“There was a very deep cushion and I couldn’t find a very good line – it’s a tough and rugged track that tests you as a rider,” said Snyder.
On the last lap, she pushed Poovey hard for third, but couldn’t quite make the pass before the finish line. Mike Hacker won the main event, with Bryan Smith finishing second.
H-D OF CHARLOTTE’S RUN FOR BREATH–Less than 5 weeks now until the 3rd Annual Run for Breath. We held a meeting with most of our volunteers last Monday night at Buffalo’s Cafe. It was a good turnout, and we have a lot of great people helping.
The official T-shirts (a Mike Pullin original) were delivered and they are “too cool for school.” We have one set aside for you. This year’s shirt is the best one yet.
The American Lung Association is helping to put up a billboard advertising this year’s event. That’s a first for the run. Next year we hope to have two billboards, and then three, and . . . who knows how big this event might become!
Door prizes are pouring in every day now. Our friends and sponsors have been extremely generous this year and there are a lot of great prizes that will be given away.
We’ll be seeing you soon! In the meantime, “ride it like your ex-wife is trying to take it!”
See ya!
M & M
HANOI JANE RETURNS– I’ve seen this before. My buddy Bill Bell who spent 10 years in Vietnam looking for POW/MIAs couldn’t get this report verified with any of hisPOW buddies.
Just more creative Fonda bashing. She already has committed enough treason for this country to prosecuteher. But the liberal assholes in charge won’t do it. At least Congress should pass a resolution condeming her behavior duringthe war.
THEY WON’T.
–Al
VINTAGE WIND–Remember when we rode from phone booth to phone booth or bar to bar? We were either calling for help, for money or help with bail. Well, those were the days, and last week Bob T. sent us 30 shots of the past that will be posted in our Freedom Film department. Be sure to check ’em out in the next week.
Continued on Page 3
June 21, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
| I can’t get into it here, it’s too terrifying. You can get a taste, if you’re a member of the Cantina, in last week’s Sunday Post. Bikers and sailors share common traits. Every sailor I’ve ever met modified his sailboat. There’s also the outlaw characteristic on the sea, with pirates like Bob Bitchin, the ex-publisher of Biker and Tattoo magazine, who is now responsible for a pirate mag called Latitudes and Attitudes. He recently threw in with the drug running, women kidnapping Cult of the Crows. His big brother, Al, is the founder, president and furor. Last weekend was my first harrowing experience with this crew of sinners and thieves. I can’t go into it now because it would take weeks to explain my predicament. I’ve got to get to Charlotte H-D for their charity ride, to Dallas to interview Bob Kay, check on the Shovelhead and then to Caribbean Cycles to pick up a chest full of 5-Balls. Hell, I’ve got to put the Buell back together and prepare for the run to the Badlands. But the sea is calling in a big way. The gauntlet has been tossed in the surf and I picked it up–big mistake. We better get to the news: |
 |
NEW CANTINA BABE–Everyday the girls in Bandit’s Cantina rotate. Each babe has her own shift just like the Broke Spoke Saloon in Sturgis. Bob T. turned us onto this babe. Although the shot is vintage, she’s as hot as they come. Join the Cantina for more leg, bikes and Bikernet bullshit.
NHTSA CALLS FOR MORE TRAINING– Motorcycle accident victims have unique and predictable injury patterns, which medical professions can be trained to treat correctly. This critical aspect of emergency care was underscored in the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration?s National Agenda for Motorcycle Safety, released in December 2000.
Ric Remz, a Motorcycle Safety Foundation certified instructor on faculty with the Motorcycle Association of New York State Inc. in cooperation with the New York City Fire Department’s Emergency Medical Service Command’s Bureau of Training, has produced a video detailing the correct methods for helmet removal.
Helmet Removal Training Video: A Guide to the Proper Removal of Helmets >From Accident Victims expands the classroom training module on primary and secondary assessment and stabilization for certified first responders, EMTs, paramedics, coaches, ski patrols, doctors and nurses. Although a relatively simple skill, the technique requires specific training and practice. It is not meant for well-meaning good Samaritans; an error can result in spinal cord damage.
Step-by-step demonstrations are made with both open and full face helmets, for motorcycling and sports enthusiasts. The standard full helmet is differentiated from newer types with flip-up chin bars. While helmets are worn for different activities, their purpose?and the removal techniques?are the same.
All information is public domain. However, the video is copyright and may not be reproduced without written permission of M.A.N.Y.S. Inc. Please state professional credentials when ordering. $35, add $5 S/H.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET BLOND GENIES– A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he’s in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Then, there is a knock at the door. He answers the door and standing there are two persons dressed in Klu Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he is dead. The Klansmen walk off.
As they are walking away, they remove their hoods; it’s the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one “Hey, I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But to be hung like a black man is beyond me!”
BIG DOG WINS FORBES WEB AWARD–
Big Dog Motorcycles is proud to announce that Forbes.com has awarded Big Dog with their annual “Best of the Web” award. Picked by the editors at Forbes.com – a leading Internet media company and one of the world?s most trusted business news sources – Big Dog Motorcycles’ Web site was chosen as one of the best motorcycle sites on the web. Forbes.com used criteria such as content and ease of navigation to determine the winning sites and also included additional comments about each link.
The interactive site features the complete 2001 line of motorcycles, an exhaustive list of specifications and a complete online apparel and accessory ordering section. In addition, web visitors are able to view an extensive inventory of available bikes and find their nearest dealer. Big Dog has continually updated and improved the site with additional content and new products. Big Dog has also added features like QuickTime movies that highlight the 2001 line of bikes and a downloadable owner?s manual.
The website receives on average over 2 million hits per month. It was developed by Ken Blankinship of HG Design in Wichita, Kan., in conjunction with Big Dog Motorcycles.
WRONG HOUSE–Carlos calls his boss in the morning:Ey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I gotheadache, stomachache, my legs hurt. I no come work.
The boss says:You know, Carlos, I really need you today. When I feel likethis, I go to my wife and tell her to give me a blowjob.That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. Youshould try that.
2 hours later Carlos calls:Boss, I did what you say and I feel great, I be at worksoon. And by the way, you got nice house.
OUTLAWS MOTORCYCLE CLUB TO SUE– Norwegian Gov’t. Members of outlaw motorcycle clubs from the United States and Europe are planning to sue the Norwegian govenment for being refused entry into the country to attend a motorcycle event in ?vre Eiker, Norway last July.
According to a report by the Drammens Tidende newspaper, the police acted under the authority of new regulations in the aliens’ act that allows them to deport undesirables “out of consideration for the national security.” When eighteen members of the Outlaws club landed at Gardermoen airport, they were met by the police and then deported.
Officials in Norway’s Department of Justice did not overturn the actions upon appeal, fearing that it would invite more “undesirable” motorcycle club events in Norway.
ONE OF THE SCARIEST MOMENTS EVER SEEN–By Dale Nungesser/Rocky Mann Update. Good Morning from Bandimere Speedway. It was one of the scariest moments most had ever seen,when JIMS Top Fuel Champion Dale Nungesser(Chromatic Racing) and Rocky Mann (AlleyThunder Racing) collided at the top end sending both into the wall. Both were transported via EMT to Denver’s St.Anthony’s hospital.
We spoke with Diane Nungesser, Dale’s wife, moments agoand gathered the following report. Dale underwent surgery last night for a ruptured spleen, which was removed. He hassevere injuries to his right hand, which was also operated on overnight to insert pins. He has a couple of puncture wounds and majorabrasions, especially to the shoulder area.
He has a punctured lung and broken ribs. Diane reportsthat Dale has been heavily sedated, but responds well. “He does everything I tell him too, she said this morning. He nodded his head and opened his eyes to acknowledgehis parents who arrived this morning. “The doctors say he is very lucky to be alive. They expect him to fullyrecover, although he has a long process ahead. His vitals are good and his heart is in good shape.
We were unable to reach Linda Man this morning, butDiane was able to share news with us regardng Rocky’s condition. Rocky suffered trauma to both knees and is currentlyin surgery to repair damage to kneecaps. Rocky also suffered broken fingers, on both hands, which will also requiresurgery. He is also reported to have a broken ankle, along with various abrasions.
Both riders were alert when arriving at St. Anthony’sand were placed in side by side trauma units where each made recounts of the incident. Rocky Mann says he remembersdrifting over, knowing that he was going to get the cone and was praying that Dale was far enough behind him. Thatwasn’t the case, as Dale was only seconds behind. Rocky says his next memory, is being awakened by the EMT’s. Dale, alsoalert asked what his time was, and the condition of the bike.
The accident occurred during the final round ofqualifying. Larry “Spiderman” McBride was announcing in the tower during the run.
NEW PRODUCTION KNUCKLE–Here’s a shot of the new production Knuckles. We are currently working on a full report from Rogue in Melbourne, Florida. You’ll see the stats first here on Bikernet.
Continued on Page 2
June 14, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
WILD WEST RESPONDS, “YOU MISQUOTED– John Covington or John Covington misspoke. Wehave hardly gone under. Actually, we are doing very well. We’ve expandedour dealer base to 14 dealers. We have doubled sales every year since 1998.We are profitable. We have a back log of orders through August. Everythingwe build is pre-sold. We have a waiting list of dealers to get on boardwith us. We’ve chosen a steady growth plan that might not make hugeheadlines, but will keep us around for the long haul. The demand for ourproduct has been unbelievable (especially when you consider we have only hadone paid ad and one press release in the last 4 years).
We will continue topump our resources into R&D and will eventually turn on the marketingfaucet as well (R&D always comes first for a company that is owned and runby a mechanical engineer). We do our best to stay out of the press for now,because the interest it generates overwhelms our small staff. (We don’t haveany dedicated sales people.) When our growth dips below 100 percent per year, we’lldo the marketing/sales thing, but until then the bike sells itself and ourcurrent growth curve is about all we care to handle now.
However, telling people that we are out of business is obviously not goodfor us. We are very much alive and thriving. Please make a correction onyour Web site.”
Thank you!
(Great Web site, by the way.)
–Paul Seiter
Wild West Motor Company
paul@wildwestmc.com
Blame it on me, she always does.
THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE– is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the law offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Web site at < HREF=”http://www.aimncom.com/”>http://www.AIMNCOM.com/>
NCOM CONVENTION REPORT: This was the 16th Annual. As we all know,the National Coalition of Motorcyclists and Aid to Injured Motorcyclistsprograms are supported by AIM attorneys returning a big chunk of their fees earned in injury cases to the motorcycling community, without added costto the client. The money comes out of the attorneys’ own pockets. Our> attorneys all over North America ride. You get to talk to them free at 1-800-ON-A-BIKE or go to www.on-a-bike.com.
This year we were in Orlando, but there was nothing Mickey Mouseabout it. Too much to list it all here, but here’s some: We had seminars forall walks of motorcycle life and even a minority biker caucus and a women’s seminar. My wife attended that one, and told me she would not missanother convention because she learned she is really an important part of thebiker world.
There was a mock legislative session done by the NCOM LegislativeTask Force (Oregon’s Butch Harbaugh Chairs the LTF) that illustrated whathappens in state and federal legislatures and how different bills are handled. By the way, our mock helmet bill lost its mock fight there.
SLIDIN’ DOWN THE ROAD: A biker named Slider Gilmore, an EMT whotrains other EMTs, did a whale of a seminar at NCOM on the “GOLDEN HOUR” afteran accident. We found that what happens in the first 10 minutes after an accident could make the difference of whether or not a victim survivesthe trauma of a wreck. It made me and a lot of others realize how important first aid and CPR training is to riders.
NEXT YEAR, the 17th NCOM Convention will be held in New Orleans,right across from the French Quarter. Don’t miss it if you value the right to ride. I’ll be there if I have to crawl.
CHICAGO: Officer Maurice Burks’ radar gun registered a bike at 160mph. He couldn’t believe it. But the gun was working right. Burks stopped Daemond Rogan, 32, and cited him for speeding in a 40 mph zone. Burkschased Rogan along Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive but couldn’t catch him. A roadblock got him.
The cops contacted a Honda shop to find out if the 1999 CBR 600F4model Rogan was riding was really that fast. Police said they were told the top speed for that bike is 165 mph. Officers in the radar unit over 20years say this is the fastest speed they can recall.
Rogan was also cited for running a red light and weaving. When you’regoing that fast on city streets without running someone down, ya better beweavin. WOW! That’s scootin!
BIKER BOOK SNITCH: Well this fellow Jim Redden here in Portland has written one cracker-jack book about just how far the government will go(and that’s TOO far) in his new paperback, “SNITCH CULTURE: How Citizens are Turned Into the Eyes and Ears of the State.” It’s published by FeralHouse, and you can find it in your bookstore, or online at www.feralhouse.com.
VR 1000 SUPERBIKE TEAM TAKES LEARNINGS FROM ROAD AMERICA TO LOUDON–Picotte Happy with Chassis Changes; Smith Takes Set-Up to Next Level. Home field held no advantage forthe Harley-Davidson VR 1000 team this weekend when the AMA Superbike tourmade a doubleheader appearance at Wisconsin’s Road America, the longestcourse onthe circuit. However, the team is confident the development efforts theytested this weekend will improve their chances going forward.
“On Saturday our results reflected the fact that Road America is ahorsepower track and we need more,” said Harley-Davidson’s Director ofRacing John Baker. “We just experienced some bad luck on Sunday in the rainyconditions.”
Mike Smith and Pascal Picotte finished 14th and 15th respectively in dryconditions on Saturday. Smith finished 17th in the rain on Sunday, whilePicotte did not finish after crashing out of turn 13 on the first lap.
“I was going around Nicky [Hayden] and just high-sided in turn 13,” saidPicotte. “There was just no grip at all.” Picotte was sore from his crash,but said he’d be ready for Loudon. “We’re still down on power, but ourchassis is better. The gap should be closer there.”
Harley-Davidson’s highlight of the weekend was the eighth place finish onSunday by Austin-Bleu Bayou H-D privateer rider Jordan Szoke.
The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 team will compete again June 15-17, when the AMASuperbike tour heads to New Hampshire International Raceway in Loudon.
STICKY REPORT–New Bikernet stickers are being produced as we speak. Here’s a report from Hawaii: “Bandit, stickers are being cut as I write this, will take in for shipping on Friday.”
–Chris
Continued on Page 3
June 14, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
Then came this news flash: the ultimate women’s car. Notice that it doesn’t have turn signals. They don’t use ’em anyway–too busy on the phone. Better get to the news before I get in more trouble.
HOT ROD BIKES MAGAZINE– Just read the thing on Dennis Manning. Really great article. Mr. Dennis told me about the H.O.G. thing in Cinc’y when I was there in March for the dealer show. Trock says he can see air flow.
To me?Dennis really seemed down to earth,?very easy to talk to. He really is into his thing with Bonneville. You know when you talk to him it’s his life. He is lucky that he has been able to pursue his dream.
When I worked for Romeo Palamides in the mid ’80s, we talked about his racing days every now and then.?Once you got him talking about the old times, it was like going back and reading all the old Hot Rod magazines you read when you were a kid. He would get all hyped up, man. It was very cool.
I consider myself fortunate just to have known him, let alone to have worked and learned from him. Some of the stuff he showed me?were things I saw in those old magazines. It was just cool to be actually doing it for real.
Anyway, that’s all. Just wanted to let you know?I really enjoyed reading those articles?you did on Warner, Wink and Dennis.
–Keep it going, Paul
Thanks Paul, watch for the interview with Jim Hunter, one of the oldest Boozefighters in the world and a historic racer. In his time he was the fastest on the planet. Next week I will interview Don Vesco, the legend of Bonneville racing, but not a Harley guy. I’m looking forward to meeting him.
BIG DOG OPENS BIGGER DOORS– Motorcyle aficionados from across the region gathered in Whichita, Kan., on May 12 to get a first-hand look at Big Dog’s new facility and celebrate its grand opening. An estimated 5,000 people attended the open house.
Designed for everyone in mind, the open house gave visitors an inside look into the workings of one of America’s premier motorcycle manufacturers. Tours featured the factory production line, Big Dog’s paint facility and parts department. Not to be missed was the showroom designed to appeal to a wide range of enthusiasts. If you’re ever cruising through Wichita, don’t hesitate to stop in. Nick, the president, isn’t doing anything, ask him to give you a tour.
BOB ILLINGWORTH– former president of the MMRA (Minnesota Motorcycle RidersAssociation) and former Hamster, has taken on a new venture with his move toSturgis, S.D. He has taken up the position of president and acting director ofthe Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame.
The official opening is June 1.Rally hours are 8 a.m to 8 p.m. It’s located on Main Street in Sturgis by thePyramid Beer Gardens. Check it out if you go to bike week. They arehaving a big raffle on August 11 at 3 p.m., need not be present to win. For$10 you’ll have a chance to win a 2001 H-D Dyna Wide Glide, a Corbin ’51Merc Couch and a Peter Fonda Henry 45 Rifle donated by Peter Fonda himself.
To find out more and/or order tickets online, go towww.sturgismotorcyclemuseum.org ?or click on this link
SPEAKING OF STURGIS–They will have a hall of fame induction breakfast on August 8; $15 perticket, reserve ahead. ?The inductees are Gov. William Janklow, South Dakota, U.S.Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell, Colorado, State Sen. Jim Putnam, South Dakato, JimBetlach from Minneapois Easyriders Corp., David Perewitz, Cycle Fab in MA.,Frank Ernst, Abate of Minnesota, Neil Hutlman, Jackpine Gypsies MC, Eddie Miller andFamily, Jackpine Gypsies, Penny Walker, Montana, Tom Rudd, Kuryakyn Corp., WoodyCarson, Antique MC of America, Genevieve Schmitt, Woman Rider Mag, IndianJeff, Washington. ?Limited seating, full tables available, call (605) 347-0849 forreservations. Breakfast will be at Historic Fort Meade, South Dakota, Fort MeadeRecreation Center at 9 a.m. sharp.
–Patty
JOHN COVINGTON OF SURGICAL-STEEDS–in Phoenix, Ariz., took the time out this week to give us a rundown on the manufactured custom market after we mentioned that the clone market might be slowing. Get some real insight into the market, check out the interview on Bikernet here.
Here are a couple of bikes from the Surgical-Steeds line. Oh, by the way, this is the first of more special reports to come. Check the home page.
FUELING LAW–Gov. John Kitzhaber?signed in to law HB 3885, which gives Oregon’s motorcyclists the choice of fueling their own bikes. Motorcyclists will be the only class of vehicle allowed to actually dispense fuel into their tanks. This bill passed with very few opposed in both the House and Senate. Lawmakers agreed with BikePAC and Oregon’s motorcyclists that the special fueling requirements of?various bikes made the rider the expert at fuel dispensing. This bill also removes a liability for gas station owners who permitted the common sense practice of allowing bikers to fuel their own.
In accordance with ORS 171.022, “Except as otherwise provided in the Act, an Act of the Legislative Assembly takes effect on January 1 of the year after passage of the Act.” So starting Jan. 1, 2002, this law will be in effect.
–David Hickerson
INSURANCE ADVOCATES SLAM EDUCATION AS RISKY–At a time when state motorcyclists’ rightsorganizations (SMROs) are in the midst of lobbying Washington to advancesafety training for motorists and motorcyclists, the nation’s leadinginsuranceassociation promoting its version of “highway safety” is telling Congressand the president, “Why bother?”
The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, in a special report issued May19, attacks the value of motorist and motorcyclist training and education.That special report is in the hands of Washington policy makers now — thevery time when motorcyclists are lobbying for a resource injection to helpstate-run rider training and a national program of motorist awareness ofmotorcycles.
“Education can be risky,” IIHS warns. “An education, persuasion ortrainingprogram might make things worse, either by increasing exposure,engendering overconfidence or somehow rewarding risky behavior.”
There is no question that this attack on education is in direct response tothetraining component of the joint MRF-SMRO legislative agenda that has foundsupport in both the White House and the Congress.There is also no question that you and motorcyclists nationwide mustcounter this attack on one of our bedrock principles.
For a copy of this special report, go to
–Rogue
LITTLE JOHNNIE– was very lustful for a girl living in his neighborhood. He invited her to dinner and she accepted. After dinner, he drove to a little mountain about 5 miles away from the city and told her: “I want you right here and now. Do it or get out and go home!” Without saying a word, she got out and walked home.
A few weeks later, after a lot of apologizing, he invited her again, and she agreed. Later, he drove to another mountain about 10 miles away. Same question, same answer: The girl got out of the car and walked home.
Another few weeks later, after sending flowers and candies and even more apologizing, Johnnie gave it another try. The girl accepted once again. This time, Johnny wanted to make it sure, so he drove 50 miles away.
Once again he said: “I want you now. Do it or get out and walk home!” Without saying a word, the girl undressed and the two had the greatest sex in Johnnie’s whole life.
Afterwards, when the two of them were dressed again and drove home, Johnnie asked her why she had walked home the first two times, as she had obviously enjoyed it very much.
The girl answered: “Well, I will gladly walk 5 and even 10 miles to save a good friend from gonorrhea, but 50 miles is just too much to ask.”
Continued on Page 2
June 14, 2001 Part 4
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 3
Take a look at the WCC, and the car behind !
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–One of those times when everything happens, I mean everything, at the sametime. Sturgis, shop, bikes to be built, rides and shows. One day turns intothe next one and we don’t even notice, just the deadlines. The West Coastbike is done, first mock up, just some little details and it’s heading toour paint room.One customer saw the bare metal and primer, liked it, gone. It’s good butalso adds pressure. To top it, most of the summer bike events and rideswill happen this month, before hurricane season starts. Oh well , lets getto the news.
The HOG ride last Sunday brought 283 bikers, they slept over in theSouthern town of Ponce. I hear some antics went on in the quiet townplaza, burnouts galore, no helmets and noise, lots ofnoise……Tsk,tsk….I thought HOGs were all proper and well to do…..They rode up into the mountains to an Indian ceremonial park and then keptriding south for lunch.
June 24 is the 6th Jack Daniels BBQ contest, Caribbean Custom Cycles is apart sponsor of this event, there will be a bike show and booth displayingour latest bikes (hope I will have the WCC for then). We are trying to getsome “experts” from the U.S. to show up…..Hey Bandit, are you up to it?Anyway I will try to shoot everything and post it here.
Next Sunday is the Dia del Motociclista, motorcycle day at the racetrack,bikes of all brands show up to drag against each other and have a goodtime, also an impromptu bike show goes on.
Stanley’s, another local bar/ club, is going to have a biker night withprizes such as pipes and neon spark wires and special deals if you show up ona V-Twin. Caribbean Custom Cycles is the co-sponsor in this venture. Threedoor prizes will be awarded every night.
**** Special Report**** Seems like there is a wave of 5-ball kidnappingsfrom the bars in the San Juan area. All the bar owners are furious. “Justthe 5 ball is missing,” said Juan. “I bet it’s these fuckin’ rice rocketriders….”
Bandit will get a shipment of 5 balls for his trophy building venture inthe next few days, although the mailman bitched about the box being a bit”hot.”
Just received a set of Accutronix raked triple trees, they are TRICK! Sevendegree rake in 41mm wide glide, soon to come 4 degree in 39 mm wide glidefor Sportsters, these are killer trees.
Well let’s get back to my dungeon and work on the bikes, gotta coupleweeks, that’s it…….. Jose
Mums the word–Bandit
NEW GUN LAWS–H.R. 138 (Nadler): This bill would require virtually all handgun purchasersfrom any seller to obtain a state handgun license (and to have completed acourse and passed an exam) — and would require purchasers to wait for acheck on whether or not the license had been revoked. After two years, acurrent handgun owner would be required to have a license in order to keephis handgun.
JIMS GIVES AWAY NEW TWIN-CAM STROKER KIT–Don’t miss it. A chance to pick up 20 more horses for your Twin Cam just by clicking and filling out the application. Go for it.http://www.jimsusa.com/give-a-way/give-a-way.html
IT WAS GETTING CROWDED IN HEAVEN– so God decided to change theadmittance policy. The new law was: in order to get into Heaven, you hadto have a really bummer day on the day that you died. The policy would gointo effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to thegates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy,promptly asked the man, “Before I let you in, I need you to tell me howyour day was going when you died.”
“No problem” the man said. “I came home to my 25th floorapartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But herlover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wifewas half-naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balconyand noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on hisfingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn’t you know it, he landed insome trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die. This ticked meoff even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I couldget my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thoughtof was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony andflipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack anddied instantly.”
The angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have abad day – it was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announces, “OK sir.Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and lets him in. A few seconds laterthe next guy comes up. To the Angel’s surprise it was Vernon Jordan.”Mr. Jordan, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your daywas like when you died.
Jordan said, “No problem. But you’re not going tobelieve this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my dailyexercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushinghard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped,and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myselfby the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden thiscrazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stompson my fingers. Well, of course, I fell. I hit some trees and bushes atthe bottom which broke my fall so I didn’t die right away. As I’m layingthere, face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, Isee this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It fallsthe 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.”
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Jordan finishes his story. Icould get used to this new policy, he thinks to himself. “Very well,” theAngel announces “welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and he lets Jordanenter.
A few seconds later, President Clinton comes up to the gate.The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination andwar poured through the Angel’s head. Finally he said, “Mr. President,please tell me what it was like the day you died.”
Clinton says, “OK, picture this. I’m sitting inside a refrigerator,naked, minding my own business….”
ANOTHER DEAL OF THE WEEK–Laminated fiberglass custom hand made saddle bag and fender set withmatching air dam. Front fender is 6 inches wide O.D.; rear fender is 7 inches wideO.D.; the saddle bags are extra wide, measuring 8 inches I.D. The saddle bagsand the rear fender have built-in 1939 Ford tear drop taillights. This istruly the deal if you want a unique motorcycle. I have seen this setup sellfor over $2,500. SPECIAL $1,000. Contact: rogue@bikerrogue or visitweb site www.bikerrogue.com
SINGAPORE’S WORST JOB: WANKING ELEPHANTS–By Kway Png,
Last week, the Singapore Zoological Gardens announced that they were settingup a bank containing sperm samples of all the wildlife under theirsupervision. At the same time, zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang binGoncang won a competition for “Worst Job in Singapore.”Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo, the JurongBird Park and the Night Safari, has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissuein order to help preserve species. And It is Mr. Binatang’s job to collectthe sperm.
“Teruk, sial,” said Mr. Binatang as we followed him on his rounds at 4 a.m.in the morning. “We start so early in the morning because a lot of theanimals have a ‘morning glory’ when they wake up, and it’s easier to collectthe sperm then.”
Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice andTupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he’d just graduated fromSingapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature andanimals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place towork.
“I never thought I’d be giving an orangutan a hand job every morning,” hesaid somewhat ruefully. “And Ah Meng is the worst. He expects to be kissedfirst.” As we approached the orangutan enclosure, we saw the Zoo’s mostfamous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, andsporting a huge erection. Mr. Binatang sighed, and applied massage oil ontohis gloves. We lingered outside the enclosure as Mr. Binatang entered andknelt before Ah Meng. About 2 minutes’ worth of squelching noises could beheard before Mr. Binatang emerged again. “So fast?” we asked. “He’s shy withyou strangers looking on and can’t perform today,” said Mr. Binatang with agrin, before silently mouthing “thank you” to us.
We next moved towards the tiger enclosure. The big cats were sprawled lazilyon the grass verge as Mr. Binatang approached. “Sayang, sayang,” said Mr.Binatang in a somewhat half- hearted manner as he put on a fresh set ofgloves and entered the enclosure. “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty…”
Moments later, Mr. Binatang emerged with several Tupperware full of viscousfluid. “Is that…?” we asked gingerly. “It’s not soya bean,” replied Mr.Binatang grimly. “Isn’t it dangerous?” we asked. Mr. Binatang was silent fora while. “They know I’m not there as an enemy,” he finally said, a glazed,faraway look in his eyes. We fought the urge to say, “Give that man atiger.”
Mr. Binatang then worked his way round the zoo, carrying out his duties”with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, the giraffe and the gorillas, amongstothers. Each animal is different,” he said, removing his gloves, nowspeckled with traces of polar bear spunk. “The polar bears come ratherquickly, because they’re not used to my warm hands on their cold organs. Thechimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the mostteruk because of the size of its thing… sometimes I have to use both myarms to tug on it. I feel like the bell ringer in a cathedral. LikeQuasimodo or something. And god, when he comes, it’s like being sprayed byhot glue.” Mr. Binatang finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Thecooler box was full of neatly-labeled Tupperware of animal semen, which wereduly delivered to the WRS office.
“I don’t know how long I’m going to stayin this job,” said Mr. Binatang, peeling off his overalls. “As you canexpect it’s really affecting my sex life. I can’t help it. Each time my wifeinitiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind.”The WRS acknowledges Mr. Binatang’s difficulties and promises that the semencollection procedure will soon change. But not because of the unpleasantnessof the job.
“It’s because the animals have gotten too used to Binatangcoming over every morning to pull them off,” said deputy assistant directorLai Jee Seow. “Many of them now can’t be bothered to engage in real sex.”
CANTINA DEALS–Sure it costs a whopping $1.65 a month to be a member of the Cantina. It’s worth it, goddamnit. But just in case you have a doubt, we’re throwing the money back at you. Every tenth member receives a copy of “Sam Chopper Orwell,” and weekly we give away valuable prizes of your choosing from Bikernet, Bandit, JIMS Machine, Samson Exhaust, Joker Machine and more.
This week we gave Paul Morris from Ventura, Calif., a XXL Bikernet T-shirt. Could be you next week.
A MAN AND HIS WIFE– are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loudpounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunkenstranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push.
“Not a chance” says the husband – “It’s three o’clock in the morning!”He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was it?” asks his wife.
“Just a drunken stranger asking for apush” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“NO, I didn’t – it’s three in the morning and raining like hell out!”
“Well you’ve got a short memory” says his wife. “Can’t you rememberabout three months ago when we broke down on vacation and those two guyshelped us? I think you should help him.”
The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into thepounding rain and calls out into the dark. “Hello — are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes the answer.
“Do you still want a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
“Over here on the swing” the drunk replies.
CHROME SPECIALTIES CATALOG UPDATE–Yes, folks, it’s true. Chrome Specialties has updated its catalog and its available for free on Bikernet. Just click and run. Before you know it, the catalog will be delivered directly to your door by a government messenger.Click Here!
ANOTHER DEAL OF THE WEEK, EXCEPT THIS TIME IT CAME FROM THE FACTORY–In order to bring the benefits of engine remanufacturing to an even larger audience, Harley-Davidson Credit is now offering a special financing program for its Engine Remanufacturing Program.
Last year H-D improved upon the already successful program by providing shipment tracking, increased capacity and a reduction in turn-around time. The addition of being able to finance the cost of engine remanufacturing gives every owner of an Evolution motorcycle the opportunity to rejuvenate his or her engine.
JOKER MACHINE MAKES ACCESSORIES FOR RIDLEY–Geoff the GM of Joker got his hands on a 265-pound, 3/4 scale V-Twin from Ridley and hauled it to the drags for the kids to ride. The more Geoff looked at the minature powerhouse the more accessories he noted he could build for the Oklahoma City manufacturer. So with the assistance of Richard, the Joker designer, he built five parts. Ridley is buying every component Joker makes. Check the Joker site on Bikernet or ridleymotorcycles.com for info on this new minature motorcycle.
I’M OUTTA HERE–I need a shot and the touch of her thighs. Damn, this news was a bear. There’s a brother, Bob T., outside on his Softail waiting to go for a ride. I met this guy 30 years ago in Long Beach. We rode to the Terminal Island Prison for bike shows back then. Of course we were too stoned to remember much of it. Seems he got pissed and ate a beer can.
I better move before the old guy passes away. Listen, I don’t know about you, but I love the sun and a blue sky, and of course the touch of her thigh. Try not to waste too many hours of the day doing bullshit work. Get out there and feel the wind, a cold can of beer in your hand and… We’re picking up some parts for the Buell this afternoon and that puppy will begin to go back together. Every weekend is packed with events, we’re busting our ass to prepare for Sturgis. Going a different route this year. I’m into my next book. Shit, I don’t know where to end the list and split. So fuck it, we’re burnin’ daylight, let’s ride.–Bandit