BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT’S CANTINA DUE TO LAUNCH FRIDAY, MURDER AND INTRIGUE ABOUNDSI slipped out of town for a couple of days while the feds sniffed around the headquarters. All the girls were sick as dogs and some conniving bitch was trying to get the scoop on the Cantina. It was time to be scarce, away from the coast for a few days. I held a seance with the full moon, prayed for guidance and for someone to come along and help with with my flat tire. I managed to get the Blue Flame registered, have some powdercoating done on Little John’s desk and collect weights from an iron pile for a squat rack we’re building behind our headquarters. Gotta keep the crew in shape. Just as I was getting bored with the desert, my cell phone rang and Sin’s voice, husky with a chest cold, whispered something in my ear about a rare lost Von Dutch engraved knife. I was intrigued and inspiration sprung forth.

One of the rooms in the Cantina will be devoted to hidden treasures from the lost planet of Motorcycles. The knife has been rescued as you can see and will be displayed in the Cantina along with other rare cycling artifacts. Let’s get to the news:

BLUE FLAME FOR SALE–I hate to sell any motorcycle, but I’ve been informed that the time to sell is while it’s fresh. If it’s not gone before Laughlin, it will haul my ass through the desert to the island of neon along the Colorado River. The price is $34,500, cheaper than a lot of clones, and packed with class and reliability. Write my sad-to-see-it-go self at Bandit@bikernet.com.

CHOPPER ORWELL FOR REAL, TAKE TWO–

United States Patent 5,878,155
Heeter March 2, 1999

Method for verifying human identity during electronic sale transactions:A method is presented for facilitating sales transactions by electronicmedia. A bar code or a design is tattooed on an individual. Before the salestransaction can be consummated, the tattoo is scanned with a scanner.Characteristics about the scanned tattoo are compared to characteristicsabout other tattoos stored on a computer database in order to verify theidentity of the buyer. Once verified, the seller may be authorized to debitthe buyer’s electronic bank account in order to consummate the transaction.The seller’s electronic bank account may be similarly updated.

Inventors: Heeter; Thomas W. (55 Lyerly, Houston, Texas 77022)
Appl. No.: 709471
Filed: Sept. 5, 1996

–Ryder Sgt. Rodney

OLDIE BUT GOODIE!–A few minutes before the Sunday services started, the townspeople were sitting intheir pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” Satan asked.

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

“Don’t you realize I can kill you with a word?” asked Satan.

“Don’t doubt it for a minute,” returned the old man in an even tone.

“Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONYfor all eternity?” persisted Satan.

“Yep,” was the calm reply.

“And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan.

“Nope.”

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid ofme?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

–Harleywrench

CHROME SPECIALTIES CATALOG ON LINE–I know that when you need to check on parts, you either need the catalog in your mits or you need to be able to reach the catalog online. For years I’ve been promoting the CCI catalog only to discover that they don’t have it online. There is a company, a Bikernet sponsor, that has its entire catalog online, and that’s Chrome Specialties.We’ve even volunteered to assist CCI in launching their catalog. As soon as they have that monster online, we’ll be the first to let you know.

AN OLD MAN– An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked upto the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair all different colors -green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. The young man said, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?”

The old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot.I was just wondering if you were my son.”

ZEBRA NEWS FLASH– Special Agent Zebra heads to Ecuador, project unknown.

With little warning, at 0100 hours Pacific time, Special Agent Zebra announced plans to travel to Bogota, Colombia, continuing on to the FARC guerilla-controlled jungles of Ecuador, north of the city of Quito. It is widely known that these jungles are under close scrutiny by the United States government due to the high rate of kidnapping/ransom abductions by FARC guerillas, as seen in the recently released Russell Crowe movie,”Proof of Life”.

Bikernet.com was put on a strict “need to know” basis, but inside sources have revealed that the Zebra was in close contact with several “members of state” reputed to be on the Ecuador/Colombian border and working on the recent FARC kidnapping of eight oil workers, one of whom was later murdered. Bikernet.com has also discovered that the Zebra has recently been in close communique with retired SpecWarfare experts in the Southern California region.

It is not known what role Special Agent Zebra will play in this situation or why he is said to have secured “temporary weapons permits” from the Ecuadoran military leaders. He is known to be traveling with one Ian Truitner, retired U.S. Army.

— Big Lucy, reporting from Los Angeles

CHROME SERVICES DELIVERS–A subsideriary of Hill Products and Web Harley performs chrome brokering for the motorcycle industry, including Harley-Davidson. However, Chris Hill, president, stated recently, “Chroming for the individual is a mainstay of Chrome Services. We understand the business, the chroming process and have relationships will all the finest chrome facilities in the Southland. We can and will get the job done, monitor the quality and deliver the completed job to the customer, so they don’t have to fuck with it.”

Chroming is a hassle to builders all over the world. It’s good to know that there is someone out there who will take the same pride in your chrome as do.

LITTLE JOHNNY–Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles. A priest walked up and asked him whathe was doing.

Little Johnny replied, “I’m looking at the most powerful liquid in the world.”

The priest said, “But Johnny, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on a pregnant woman’s belly, she will pass a boy.”

Little Johnny said, “Big deal! This is turpentine. If you put this on a cat’s ass, he’ll passa Harley-Davidson!”

QUANTUM REPORT–Got back from Daytona and there was a letter from the bankruptcy courtinforming me that American Quantum Cycles Inc. has changed its address fromWashburn Road to American Quantum Cycles Inc., C/O Richard Block, 91 E.Dartmouth Ave., Englewood, Colo. 80110.

I do not know what this means or what effect if any it has to the priormonies owed to past employees. Keep it for now and will try to find out more.–Rogue

A HEARTY THANKS–To the owner, Kevin Ruic, of the Motorcycle Demolition Derby for posting our name, Bikernet.com, on all of his billboards in Daytona last week.

Kevin almost lost his business to Easyriders, but managed to hold on to it and is kicking off a new series of demolition derbies around the country. Watch for them.

Continued on Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SHE LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER WOMAN–MY GIRLFRIEND (CONTINUED)

Continued From to Page 1

AN UPSCALE BROTHER– enters his favorite ritzy restaurant….. While sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby….all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of merlot to be sent over to her– knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man.

The note read: “For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants.”

The man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read:

“Just so you know- I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL and a Mercedes 560SEL in my garage; plus I have over $20 million in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut 3 inches off my dick! Just send the bottle back.”

–Terry

BIG DOG OPEN HOUSE TOMORROW–Don’t miss the chance to view their new headquarters, see the bikini contest, look over the new models, see the bikini contest, enter your bike in their bikes show, or catch the bikini contest.

Big Dog recently completed a new 100,000 square foot facility, and they plan to add more warehousing in the near future. Mr. Knife, the President said recently, “We developed this new facility so that we could continue the growth we’ve experienced in the last several years. The new facility will allow Big Dog Motorcycles to meet the greater…” We cut him off there and bought him a beer. Just more company hype. Most guys know that Big Dogs are the Big Dog of the industry, and this weekend in Wichita, Kansas at 1520 E. Douglas is the place to be or call (316) 267-9121 for the real scoop, incase they didn’t change the address on their stationary. Be there, Be there, don’t miss the bikini contest, and tell ’em you saw it on Bikernet.

SENOR CINCO PELOTAS–Senor Cinco Pelotas, Where the hell were ya? I expected a full-blown booth with Bikernet goods, nekedwimmins and a line of eager buyers for yourautographed books. I don’t think you even goto all these rallies you talk about. Lets see…have we ever seen a picture of you at a rally withsomething besides the generic bar scene in thebackground? I don’t think so. Never a famousrally landmark to be seen! You just sit at homein a closet hammering away on the keyboard andcounting your millions, don?t ya? Haaaaaaaaaa!

Where was this new place where the River Runwas held and what did they do with Laughlin? Where were the storm troopers on the bridgehanding out helmet tickets? Where was theGestapo check point from hell on Route 66 toOatman? Who moved out all the residents andemployees and replaced them with people thathave a sense of humor? All of the things Ienjoyed the last time I was there and decided notto go back again. I had some friends going tothe rally this year for the first time and the onlyreason I went was to see them. What a shock tosee. The River Run is worth going to again! DickDale and the beast kicked some serious ass!Maybe I’ll catch you at Sturgis! Ya right!

FTW,Stroker

You’re right, I’ll be in the Bahamas catchin’ some rays. –Bandit

BUELL REPORT–Are you pulling the swingarm or is a qualified Buell?wrench doing it? If you are?gonna do it I can send/fax you some info with destructions. You would need a cherry picker or something to hold up the frame. A shipping strap around?a low ceiling joist will work also. A frabricated “A” frame bolted to your lift is another good option.

I’m sure you can do it no problem, you just need certain tools and stuff. Also, polishing the Buell cast wheels really looks good. Makes a big improvement.

I want?to build a Shovester. My plan was to use?two front Shovel heads and run a carb for each head. Like?S&S did on their Bonneville bike. Trock had a complete Shovester with his cylinders and paper for $1,500 a few years ago. Another cool project I passed up.

–Charlotte H-D

BUELL REPORT PART II–You might be able to do the Shovester Buell.

?I have found that there is always one part of a project that is the key to the whole damn thing. In this case, it is the front cyl. head. You could weld up the front motor mount bosses needed to hang the motor in the frame. It would be better to have?a head cast or machined with the bosses already there for strength, though.

The RR1000 Buell used a XR1000 motor. It had the dual carbs, one for each cyl.?The frame was mounted to the rocker boxes. They were the XR750 type rocker box with the eccentric adjustable rocker shafts.

Awhile back, I contacted Rogue. He was selling?4-valve heads and parts for them. I have wanted to put these?on my S2 Buell since I bought it in ’94. By the way, it’s $200 off the line. There are some out there for Sportsters. Mel from Rivera had a Sportster with Mr. Feuling’s heads awhile back.

My thinking was that a big bore short stroke Sportster motor would really like these heads. What stopped me from continuing on this was the strain on the valve train. What would happen to the rocker arms at 7,500 to 8,500 and more rpm’s? Unfortunately, and maybe it’s for the best, I?don’t have the cash to experiment with a project like this.

I think that a 103 Stroker Twin Cam rigid would be cool. Maybe with a Buell front end and fender. I’ve seen one guy use a Buell style fuel tank like yours on a rigid chopper. I think he was from Sweden. Saw him?at Cinc’y.

Anyway I’ll fax you the Buell swingarm recall bulletin next week. This shows?you how to replace one with all the destructions.

BUELL REPORT PART III–

If you are interested in a definite improvement in your 2000 M2 shifting and brake linkage, I recommend the installation of the bronze bushings available from American Sport Bike in Apple Valley, Calif. Web address: “www.americansportbike.com”.The bushings replace the stock plastic and get rid of the stock rattle and the excess play. The set installs in a few minutes and costs $30. While the 2001 gear shift may be prettier, the M-2 2001 shifter has a shorter throw, making it harder to shift. With the bronze bushing kit installed, the longer, pre-2001 shifter results in positive shifting with minimal foot effort. Finding neutral is also a snap as a result.

–Anson

BUELL REPORT PART IV–

If you have the newer style swingarm, it’s hollow, don’t drill it. About the best thing you can do, I think, is polish it.?Polishing seems to be what the?”Jap” bike guys do. I don’t like to chrome aluminum. It’s done all the time, but it’s just a personal thing I guess.

I didn’t follow you on the “Levers” and whatever to remove. Removing the passenger footpeg mounts from the frame is pretty common. One can go on and on I guess. It just depends on the look you’re going for. I gotta see this “Chopper” Buell from Bandit. This just might start a new trend. Would this Buell then qualify to be in the Horse magazine?

This coming weekend, we are having a open house. They are also doing some Buell stuff. We have a Hooters next door and they usually bring the sweeties over to help out some.?That customer of ours that had the Silver “Millennium” Buell that I sent?you in February just got one of the older Buells. It’s an RR1200. Not many of these?were made in 1988, about 60 or 65. This is a pretty cool bike and in reasonable shape. Should have some good pictures of all this for you.

BUELL REPORT PART V–

From the picture you posted showing the muffler, the recall is NOT done.

?The recall?consists of a big strap around the muffler. Its location will be?just behind the first riveted band on the muffler?on the inlet end of the muffler. The big strap goes around the muffler itself. It’s the same type of strap used to clamp the muffler to the header pipe.

The strap is then?anchored to the primary by a short cable with an eyelet that goes from the strap to the 5/16 socket head cap screw (front one); there are two. These are located?on the bottom of the primary cover?by the primary chain adjuster nut. I think, like me, you won’t like this. A Buell chin fairing from the X-1 hides it pretty good, by the way.

Buell did this because the weld where the inlet pipe attaches to the muffler was failing. This could cause the muffler to drop down and hit the street while riding–a big “Oh shit” here.

As I was looking at the picture of the cam cover, I noticed some things. Now that the oil pump and lines are out in the open, this is an area that could be dressed up some to stay with the bike theme you are going with. Braided oil lines, etc. Maybe a polished oil pump. What do you think? The chrome rocker boxes look pretty good also.

BUELL REPORT PART VI–

Checking the oil is a simple thing on?Harleys most of time. It is on the Buell once you get it the hang of it.

Always try to check it?with the bike warmed up and standing upright. Push the rubber plug all the way in. I keep the oil in the middle between the?add and full mark on the dip stick.

It is easy to overfill this oil tank if you don’t check it like I said. Then you get oil coming out the?air cleaner?all over your right leg. See, the oil drains back from the tank when the bike sits for a time. So?when you check it cold, it looks low in the tank and on the dip stick.?After you start the bike, the oil level comes up and when it’s at operating temp, that’s when you really should check it.

Also, it’s a good idea to use the longer Dyna-style oil filter. It has more capacity than the short stock oil filter. This adds some to the 2 1/2 in the oil tank. I use a black one, not chrome, better for cooling.

One other thing is to make sure your primary oil is not over filled. They changed the location of the breather hose for the tranny. I keep it on the newer models just?below the clutch basket, just a bit.?If the level is?above then it seems to want to blow out the tranny breather hose.

Don’t know how hot it will be out there. In Phoenix I used a oil cooler. If you have low miles try to stay out of the street traffic. You don’t want to stick a piston out there.

That recall for the muffler only takes maybe a half hour, if they have it in stock.

–Charlotte H-D

BUELL REPORT PART VII–

Just looked at the “Badlands” Buell. The pictures really looked good!! That along with the “Ink” made it killer. It left me a Buell rider wanting to see more of the bike.

The cam cover came out good and leaving the rear dowel pin?boss was a wise?move. Also the air cleaner cover looks good. How do you like the Buell pipe???? It works really good huh? I like a SuperTrapp muffler myself. More tuning options for me.

For Sturgis you might want to try a 55 tooth rear pulley. It’s a Buell International P/N. You probably have the motor now for it. It drops the RPM’s about 500 or so. Good for mileage and “High Speed Gear Jammin” down the road. You leave those Big Inch. Big Twin slugs in the dust!!!!

Also the Baker Buell Six Speed?install would be a great addtion to the bike and your articles. Just did a six speed tranny for a Nascar guy.

–Charlotte H-D

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– I have not been able to report shit in the past few weeks, sorry. Withthe shop, getting all the bikes together and another bombing of the islandof Vieques it has been a pretty busy month. But on the bright side, we’vegot a bunch of news this time ! We also got the news that Titan wentchapter 7, and quickly called our local dealer to offer him some Bourget’s.

So it goes like this, we have a ’95 Softail custom who is getting a facelift, or ass tuck, 180 rear tire with Heartland struts, seat and fender,new paint job and new wire wheels, I’ll make sure to send some photos of thebuild.

The CFL Dragon frame from Jesse James it’s almost done, mock up isfinished and it’s on the process of dissasembly to paint. As soon as it’sdone it will rest in our showroom to wait for a victim..ahem, client.Now we got 3 Sporty chopper projects on the way, funny that they are ’71,’72and ’73. All Old School chops, somewhat rusty but in good condition. Oh well,found a bit of time to tell the news, so here we go.

Finally San Juan has their own Biker bar, our friends just opened BlueJeans, in Ponce de Leon #303, They feature bar food, cold drinks, pooltables and dart boards, plus live bands, Wed is the official day, but it’sopen every day, ask for Don or Ana if you happen to visit.

April Fools day was the day for the Desertores (deserters) a group thatlost on the past HOG election and decided to ride by themselves, 178motorcycles showed up for their first official ride thru the mountains onthe south side, ending with lunch and drinks on our local Heineken andCorona distributors.

LAMA (latin american motorcycle association) Had their annual ride inPuerto Rico this past 10 days, they rode around the island and even took aferry to Dominican Republic for a two day putt. Over one hundred LAMAshowed up for this yearly ride, making sure to visit all cardinal points,and some pretty cool parties in the mountains and in San Juan, next yearsevent will take place in Mexico.

HOG San Juan had their Annual Mothers Day ride April 21-22, it was anovernight ride into the fishing town of Boqueron in the West Coast, theyintended to ride all the way up to the highest peak in PR, but a rainy weekend damped the ride. Even though, around 198 riders showed up.

Harley Davidson San Juan had their annual motorcycle introduction and show,for a week they placed new TC 88’s next to some old restored Pans, Shovelsand even servicars, the show ended Sunday with an open BBQ by Longhorn.Over 200 bikes showed up (including our chopper crew) for an afternoon ofribs, baked potatoes and bike oggling. Even some TV stations were therefilming the zoo.

Plans are already developing for a H-D of San Juan and Caribbean CustomCycles bike show, we are trying to gather the best bikes on the island atthe same place, same time, and of course we intend to invite US magazinesto cover the event. What is pretty amazing is that a franchised dealer canget together with an independent custom shop and do something for thebikers in general.

Well thats sort of it for now , with the Miss Universe pageant, the Navybombing the shit out of Vieques, on and off May rains and Mr. Bush’s let’s-all-get-poor agenda things are pretty weird on the island right now, butSturgis is down the road. Just a couple months away, no helmets in theBlack Hills. Shit, can’t wait till August……….

— Jose…….Caribbean Bikernet Report

REBUILDING EFFORT CONTINUES ON VR 1000 FOLLOWING SEARS POINT–Progress Made, but Work Remains; Smith 8th in Overall Points Heading to Road Atlanta.The 2001 rebuilding effort for the Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Superbike race team continued at Sears Point Raceway over the weekend, with Pascal Picotte and Mike Smith finishing 11th and 15th respectively. After testing new parts, Harley-Davidson’s Director of Racing John Baker said gains were made with the VR 1000, but that greater improvement must happen before the team reaches its competitive goals.

“We tried some new things this weekend and we’ll have more to test in the future, a pay off of our new development program and the continued hard work of our race team,” said Director of Racing John Baker.

Picotte continued to recover from injuries sustained in a snowmobile accident in April. On Sunday, Picotte finished 11th, unable to sustain the speed he had shown in practice and qualifying.

“I wasn’t able to train much the past few weeks and I started cramping right away during the race and lost focus. So, I slowed the pace and tried to defend my position,” Picotte said.

Smith struggled to find a good suspension set up all weekend. “It was a long race. We kept missing on our set up all weekend,” said Smith, who finished 15th. “Basically it ended up like a test session to try some things and learn a bit more about the bike.”

Despite his set up problems, Smith’s hard work at Sears Point paid off as he is ranked 8th overall in the AMA Superbike points standings.

“We were proud of the efforts of our racers and team, and also proud of our privateer team, Austin-Bleu Bayou H-D, and their rider Jordan Szoke, who ran well all weekend and finished 13th,” added Baker.

Yamaha’s Anthony Gobert won the Superbike final over the weekend, with Honda’s Nicky Hayden finishing second and Suzuki’s Aaron Yates third.

The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 team will compete again May 18-20, when the AMA Superbike tour heads to Road Atlanta in Braselton, GA for a double-header weekend.

THE THREE SAMURAI– Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised fora new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: Bandit, Bad Brad and Dick Bondano. “Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor. Bandit stepped forward, opened a tiny box andreleased a fly. He drew his Samurai sword and “swish!” the fly fell to the floor,neatly divided in two!

“What a feat!” said the Emperor. Bad Brad, show me what you can do.”

Bad Brad smiled confidently, stepped forward and openeda tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his Samurai sword and “swish!” “swish!” The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!

“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor. “How are you going to top that, Number Three Samurai?”

Dick Bondano stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing onefly, drew his Samurai sword and “swoooooosh!” flourished his sword somightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was stillbuzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, shit,” replied Dick Bondano. “Dead is easy. Circumcision… now THAT takes skill.”

–Sifu

MRF ATTENDS INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE–The Motorcycle Riders Foundation was well represented at the ThirdInternational Rider?s Public Policy Conference April 27-29 in PickeringtonOhio with eight members of the Board of Directors attending. They werejoined by motorcyclists from 21 states and seventeen other nations. Theconference was sponsored by the Federation Internationale de Motocyclisme(FIM) and was hosted in the United States this year by the AmericanMotorcyclist Association. The AMA is the United States affiliateorganization of the FIM.

This conference is designed to bring riders from around the world togetherto share ideas, build coalitions, and prepare them to have an influence onthe myriad of regulations and legislation being developed to implementglobalization of the motorcycle industry.

Robert Tomlins, Acting Secretary General of the Federation of EuropeanMotorcyclists Associations (FEMA) reported on the globalization of vehiclestandards from the rider’s perspective. Tomlins stated that, “We mustwatch out for our interests if we want the resulting motorcycles to besomething we will buy and ride.”

Tim Hoelter, vice president of government affairsfor the Harley Davidson Motor Company, stressed the need for Americanriders to be involved in the process, since it is a much more open systemthan the European procedure.

MRF: My Ride is Freedom.For further information contact Tom Wyld at202-546-0983 or by e-mail at wyld@mrf.org

CHINA BLAMES U.S. FOR YET ANOTHER MID-AIR COLLISION–China Blames U. S. for Yet Another Mid-Air Collision

BEIJING (Reuters) – Chinese officials have stated that they are holding the United States, “fully responsible” for today’s mid-air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American craft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U. S. spy plane.

Officials have stated that at approximately 8:25 a. m., GMT, a squadron of Chinese F-8 fighters collided with an American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese planes downed and the blimp’s electronic billboard damaged. Sources say the billboard’s scrolling marquee had been advertising the soft drink 7-UP, but after the collision, only the words “Up yours” could be seen.

A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision between his squadron, nicknamed, “Panda Rash” told China’s Xinhua news agency that he saw the American blimp dive out of the clouds and crash into wingman Sum Yung Gui’s F-8 jet.

“I told Yung Gui his tail was all broken. ‘Keep it straight. Keep it straight'”, said the pilot. “He just couldn’t shake the American foreign-devil!” The blimp then reportedly veered hard left and then right, taking out the rest of the squadron.

China blames this new accident on the Goodyear blimp, saying it rammed the supersonic fighters, and has demanded an apology.

Officials from the Goodyear Company have said it is unlikely that the slow propeller-driven blimp could turn inside and ram a dozen nimble fighters, unless the Chinese were testing chimp pilots.

LET’S HIT THE ROAD–Time is of the essence. The Beach Ride meeting is coming up next week and I’m having a meeting with the famous photog and promoter of the White Brothers Calendar show this morning. We’ll see what Jim has to say. Bikernet will be sponsoring the Saturday night party on the Queen Mary in the Observation Lounge.

Take a look at the first Buell tech. We should have another one next week, with Joker Machine accessories. There are two new 1928 Shovelhead articles up about a woman who is looking to lure me to Texas. Damn.

I still haven’t filled you in on the emotional blow-up here at the headquarters. I thought Layla was history when she stumbled onto Sin Wu in a compromising position with Coral and me. It’s too strange to explain, but she’s back and as passionate as ever. I was barely able to crawl to my desk this morning to pump (wrong word) out the news. By lunch I’ll have the strength to ride.

–Bandit.

P.S. Just don’t get married guys. I don’t think bikers are meant to be tied down.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SHE LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER WOMAN–MY GIRLFRIEND

With Laughlin behind us, we’re back at the computers like mad men and women. With our new bookkeeper tied up and naked in the basement, I explained to her how lucky we are to be able to make a humble living doing what we love. She just squirmed and nodded. I took it that she was begging for more.

I recently babbled at an ABATE meeting in Southern California. Steve Bauman, a very dedicated member, and his president took me to dinner. This group, which is positioned all over the country, is working with our elected representatives to maintain our rights. They need your support. Even if you’re not a joiner, or a lifetime biker, join anyway. Send in your dues and support the hardworking groups that keep us on the road. You wouldn’t believe some of the laws headed our way. Read “Orwell” and you’ll understand.

A reader suggested that we kick off a memorial section for downed brothers, and since we always do what our readers want, it’s up and happening. I recently put in tributes to several friends who recently passed. I will never forget Travis Clemens, the son of Lee and Brenda from Departure Bike Works in Richmond; Roger Ramjet, the developer of several patented parts for Harleys, and Ed “Big Daddy” Roth.

We need to expand the Bikernet garage. We’re looking for two, 20-foot steel or aluminum containers to squash together. We’ll tear out the adjoining walls and form another garage so we can build two bikes or a bike and a desk in the existing stucco, termite-infested cube. Hell, we’re looking at a used milling machine, lathe and Tig welder to enhance production. They’re lined up, but we don’t have the space. Let us know if you have a connection.

We want to welcome Joker Machine into the fold of Bikernet sponsors. We have a cap of 20 sponsors because we promised our readers we wouldn’t litter the site with advertising. One of our goals was to bring the reader the best in the field and not every company with an ad budget. We think we’ve put together a program that works for everyone and keeps us in beans. Joker makes some of the finest billet accessories on the market. I used Joker Machine components on the Blue Flame and rode that puppy to Sturgis without one problem. Watch for articles on their components on the Buell project for Sturgis this year. They are one of the few companies making a handful of Buell accessories.

Another goal we gladly undertook was to assist the riders who have helped build Bikernet. In doing so, we built the starving writer, Agent Zebra, a bike last year. This year, we are building Dr. NuttBoy, our financial consultant, psychologist, artist and professor, a tight and light pro-street. After that, with the help of reader Richard Kransler, we will begin to put master artist Jon Towle back in the saddle of a Sportster. Hey, we’ve got to take care of our own, right?

We’re a small but happening crew that works tirelessly to build this site. There’s more, but you know I can’t get to the news without something about women, and our relationships with them. A couple I’ve known for years just broke up. I listened to my brother tell me his wife’s reasons for leaving, I thought about it for a while, then it came to me. Sure, we all have reasons for breaking up, but what happened to the marriage vows? Didn’t she make a promise to this man? Does this mean that she will never keep a promise to anyone?

I’m as guilty as sin when it comes to this, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep your promises–especially to the most important person in your life, your partner. Let’s get to the news:

NEGOTIABLE PART.COM–Ran into this crew at a recent swap meet. They helped me out with a handful of parts for NuttBoy’s project bike. They treated me right. They’d be worth checking out.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE COFFEEITIS–Major tell-tale signs:

You ski uphill.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You answer the door before people knock.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE– is brought to you by Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. ?For moreinformation, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Web site at “NCOM”

From TheGUNNY’S SACK:

NEW YORK: Those of us who have been around the block two or three timeswill remember the pop group The Village People. ?They did songs like ”YMCA”and ”MACHO MAN.” ?The biker of the group, Glen Hughes, has succumbed tolung cancer at the tender age of 50. ?They had a good show but faded by the’90s. The biker character was a pretty good imitation, although I kindadoubt what I think was his ”orientation” is real common among bikers, atleast the guys I know.

BERLIN: Now here’s a fine tradition from a town in Germany that Iwouldn’t mind seeing here in the US of A. Every year since 1988, bikers inNiederssachsen, Germany, have a parade to remember bikers killed on the roadduring the previous year.?This year, 10,000 bikers joined in. This storycame halfway around the globe to reach us — it’s from a copyrighted storyfrom China’s Xinhua news agency. ?These people even had a mourning service toremember those brothers and sisters.

NEW YORK: Harley-Davidson is getting an award for the marketing of itsproducts. The company has been elected to the prestigious Marketing Hall of Fame,sponsored by New York’s American Marketing Association. ?Hey, how many otherproducts have their names tattooed on people? ?Even products that have becomesynonymous with their brand — when’s the last time y’saw a guy with”Kleenex” or ”Xerox” tattooed on ’em? ?Man I could go on and on with thisone.

NEW YORK AGAIN: Even the Liner Queen Elizabeth II is getting on the “ILove Bikers” list. ?Now you can stow your scoot along with you. ?The QE-IIhas a garage to haul cars and motorcycles. ?Talk to the Cunard line for more. Bet it would be fun if I had the bucks to do it. ?I understand they have atwo-for-one deal right now. ?You have to call the cruise guys formore. ?I got this number for a Julie Davis: 305-463-3388.I guess Cunard owns the QE-II now. ?Not only can guests attend lecturesby ambassadors, authors, historians and oceanographers, but they also canplay with computers, play bridge, and take art and dance lessons. ?They’vegot sporting activities and drama classes. ?I can see it now–representatives of all the Confederations of Clubs in the USA taking thistrip in their standard black leather on this ship with some of the MONEYEDSET. ?WOW! ?WHAT A HOOT!

ALBANY, N.Y.: Here’s help for some downed bros from a different kind ofHOG. ?Fetal pig cells were injected into the spine of a 50-year-oldquadriplegic biker in an experimental procedure that hospital officials saywas the first of its kind. ?Should work. ?Bikers are one of a kind too. ?Inan Associated Press story, the biker was quoted as saying ”If it doesn’twork, it doesn’t work, but it’s something. ?I’m not getting any younger.” ?If it works, the cells will grow and create a new connection in thebiker’s spine. ?If electric impulses can again flow from his brain, theycould send signals to the muscles and maybe let him walk again. ?Maybe pigs are good for something besides ham and bacon. ?Let’shope it works, the good it can do is limitless.

ENGLAND: Another biker chased to death. ?We’ve seen it before, folks. ?This time, in England. ?At least in this case, the officer in the accident was suspended fromdriving duties during the investigation. ?I just hope investigations inEngland are more open minded than they are sometimes in the USA.Here’s how it went down: The death of a motorcyclist happened when he wasbeing followed by a patrol car. ?The biker, believed to be a man in his40s from Fareham, Hampshire, died after coming off his trail bike inSwivelton Lane, Fareham, as he was being followed by police after he failedto stop in nearby Portchester. ?The biker was dead at the scene. ?

????Deputy Chief Constable Ian Readhead said: ”We would like to expressour sincerest condolences to the family of the man who died.” ?I would thinkthat’s the very least they could do. ???? ?

????GUNNY AGAIN: I’ll report on the National Coalition of Motorcyclists(NCOM) Convention in next month’s issue. ?Remember our A.I.M. (Aid To InjuredMotorcyclists) attorneys are always as close as a telephone if, God forbid,you go down. ?They are here to help us and they ride, too. ?They know what’shappening on our roads. ?Nationally, call toll free, (800) ON-A-BIKE. In Oregon,call Sam Hochberg at (503) 224-1106 or (800) 347-1106. ?Avoid the wreck andride safe, OK?

Keep the round side on the bottom.Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff

BLONDE PUZZLE–One morning, a blonde called her boyfriend andsaid, “Please come over and help me.??I havethis awesome?jigsaw?puzzle, and I can’t figure out howto start it.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it a puzzleof?”

The blonde said, “From the picture on thebox, it’s a tiger.”

The blonde’s boyfriend figures that he’spretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets himin the door and shows him where she has the puzzle spreadall over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, thenhe studies the box. He then turns to her and?says, “First, nomatter?what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you howto assemble?these pieces to look like the picture of thattiger. Second, I’d advise you to relax, have a cup ofcoffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in thebox.”

–ScooterG

REDLINE SPECIAL OF THE MONTH–As for?this month’s?special, I have decided a sleeping bag (http://www.redlineroadgear.com/cgi-bin/store/commerce.cgi?product=sleep)?deal is in order. For the month of May, when you purchase any sleeping bag in our line, you can?take 15 percent off and I will include one of our free T-shirts, even if the total is under $100. As always, you need to contact me directly?to order, or ifyou have questions, because we’re not some huge dot.com that has figured out how to enter special sale codes for discounts yet. Thanks for all the support. See you on the road!

Rick Thomas
Redline Compact Camping & Travel Gear
P.O. Box 1113
Lakeville, Minn. 55044
http://www.redlinegear.com

CICCOTTO WINS BUELL PRO THUNDER ROUND AT SEARS POINT– OVERCOMES BACK ROW START TO CLAIM VICTORY; LEADS CHAMPIONSHIP STANDINGS: In a pre-race interview, Mike Ciccotto told his competitors exactly what he planned to do in the Buell Pro Thunder final at Sears Point: pass every one of them and win the race. Some may not have believed he could win from his last row start, but Ciccotto knew he could, said he would, and did.

“My Hal’s H-D Buell handled like it was on rails,” said Ciccotto from the top of the podium on Sunday. “I want to thank everyone at Buell and Hal’s Performance Advantage for their support.”

Ciccotto won the faster of the two qualifying heat races to claim the provisional pole position, but was later moved to the back of the grid when his fuel didn’t pass a post- race tech inspection. That put Dave Estok, winner of the second qualifying heat race, and his Tilley’s H-D Buell on pole. Estok’s teammate, Tripp Nobles, soldiered through the same heat race with a battery problem, and like Ciccotto, would also be looking to make up for a poor starting position in the final.

?????? Estok experienced a similar battery problem on the warm-up lap for the final and left the starting line in last place. A crash involving three riders on the first lap brought out the red flag and sent the field back to the pits, which allowed the Tilley’s crew to fix Estok’s bike. On the restart, Estok took the immediate lead, but he knew Nobles and Ciccotto were coming. In fact, Nobles took the lead from Estok on the second lap, and Ciccotto had slashed his way through the field to fifth by the third lap. Nobles’ lead would be short lived as he missed a gear and over-revved the engine, ending his race on the fifth lap. Then Ciccotto charged into the lead on lap seven and never looked back. Ducati rider Tom Montano finished second, and Estok hung on to the final podium position.

Following his second place finish at Daytona, the Sears Point win puts Ciccotto and his Hal’s Buell on top of the Buell Pro Thunder points standings. ?

????? “My hat’s off to Mike, I never thought he could come up and win from the back,” said Estok, who is tied for third in the Buell Pro Thunder points championship. ?

????? The Buell Pro Thunder series returns to action June 15-17 at New Hampshire International Speedway in Loudon. ?????? To learn more about Buell motorcycles, visit your local Buell dealer today and experience the pure streetfighter attitude, style and performance only found on board a Buell. Call (800) 490-9635 for the Buell dealer nearest you. Or pull into www.buell.com.

BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNER–That’s me!Wow, two months in a row…last month for my 53 G Servicar, then this month for my 50 EL Panhead. Hell,I’m plumb out of old bikes to enter now.

I just finished reading the copy of “ORWELL” that you sent me last month.Fantastic read. Good characters and a great story line. I’m looking forwardto reading another tale of daring-do by the 5-Ballmeister.

Thanks forappreciating my work. It took a whole lot of scrounging and wrenching to makethat old pile of swap meet and scrap yard parts into what you see there. I’llhopefully be riding her from N.Y. to Sturgis this year. Not an easy task whenyou consider that she’s a foot clutching, tank shifting kick starter and thatI have a paralyzed left leg from a wreck a few years back. I guess thatproves that either I have a lot of balls or a serious deficiency of braincells. But riding is my life and if it’s easy, what’s the point? No guts, noglory.

By the way, I’m going to be in Tahiti this July for Bastille Day on the 14th.I’ve arranged to get a tattoo done in the old tribal style, using bambooneedles and a mallet instead of the electric machine. Would you be interestedin the story and pictures for a Cantina feature?

–Teddy Bear

Absolutely, we would be interested in your tattoo saga. Bob Bitchin’, who is one of our clan, also has an ankle bracelet from Tahiti done with bamboo. Just remember, the rum is strong.

JOKER MACHINE SPONSORS RON FRINGER–The excerpt below?is from http://www.bikernet.com/garage/jokermachine.asp, on Bikernet and it’s where I got the connection between Fringer and Joker. Ron had told me at the last race that he wasn’t actually the owner last year, just a pilot. “Three years ago, we got involved with racing,” said Diane, her eyes sparkling as she talks about the drags. “Geoff used to race dirt bikes, but then he started practicing on a Buell at the drags. That’s when we started to sponsor Ron Fringer, who raced top fuel. Joker Machine is also the HDRA pro-stock series sponsors, with Geoff racing in the H-D modified class. We’d like to see more prize money for these guys, but we find the drags to be an outstanding outlet for marketing our products. The enthusiasts are very dedicated.”

Watch for more on Joker’s accessories, Buell products and racing in the very near future.

KIDS BOOKS THAT DIDN’T MAKE IT–

1) You’re Different — and That’s Bad
2) The Boy Who Died From Eating all His Vegetables
3) Robert: Dad’s New Wife
4) Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5) The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking
6) Kathy was so Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her
7) Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8) All Cats go to Hell
9) The Little Sissy That Snitched
10) Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet can be Friends
11) That’s it, I’m Putting You up for Adoption
12) 101 Things You can do at the Bottom of the Pool
13) The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
14) Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
15) Strangers Have the Best Candy
16) Whining, Kicking and Crying to get Your Way
18) Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

SAMSON’S NEW CHALLENGER PIPE–Here it is, performance fans, the Samson patented Challenger muffler. We will have a complete report on all aspects of this historic invention in the next week. The new baffle system actually pulled the exhaust from the pipe to assist performance.

QUEEN MARY CALENDAR BIKE SHOW HITS SPEEDVISION– I just wanted to let you know that the month of May is LA CalendarMotorcycle Show month on TV’s Speedvision channel. There will be 10 broadcasts of American Thunder’s full, 30-minute program coverage of the1999 and 2000 Calendar Motorcycle Shows -just in time to get enthusiaststotally pumped for our newly expanded two-day 2001 Hot Bike Magazine Presents the White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Bike Show sponsored byPerformance Machine, The Recycler and Budweiser. It will be held July 21-22 at the Queen MaryEvent Park in Long Beach.

NEXT WEEKThe 2000 Hot Bike Magazine Presents the White Bothers LA Calendar Motorcycle ShowAmerican Thunder: May 15, 7:30 p.m. Eastern; 4:30 p.m. Pacific; 11:30 p.m. Eastern May 16, 8 a.m. and 5:30 p.m.May 19, 9 a.m.

For additional information on the upcoming 2001 show in July,visit the Bike Show page on our Web site athttp://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm

TWO NEW GAS TANKS FROM CYRIL HUZE– in 3- and 5- inch stretch.All equipped with pop up gas caps.

1- Hot Chop: a chopper gas tank, 26 or 28 inches long. See it at: http://store.cyrilhuze.com/product.asp?ID=121

2- High Octane: a Cruiser gas tank, 26 or 28 inches long. See it at:?http://store.cyrilhuze.com/product.asp?ID=120

Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles and Accessories
Tel: (561) 392-5557
Fax: (561) 392-9923
Web site:
http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com

REVISED MIRANDA RIGHTS–You are under arrest and….

1. No, I don’t care who you are.
2. No, I don’t care who you know.
3. Yes… you DO pay my salary.
4. Yes… you CAN have my job.
5. No, I don’t have anything better to do.
6. Yes, I DO arrest real criminals sometimes.
7. No, I am not picking on you because you are________ (fill in).
8. No, I can’t give you a break.
9. No, I don’t know your friend, Officer __________(fill in).
10. Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.
11. Yes, I’m sure you will never do it again.
12. No, we can’t talk about it.
13. Yes, it DOES make me happy.
14. Yes, you WILL see me in court.

Thank you, have a nice day. Your Arresting Officer __________(fill in)

HEY NOW!–Check out the first-ever Blue Cafe Blues Festival info. Blue Cafe Blues FestivalThe Fabulous Thunderbirdsheadline!The Green on the Hill27th and Walnut, Signal Hill, Calif.Gates open at 11 a.m.Music starts at noon

PEOPLE– are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it’s saferto harass rich women than motorcycle groups.

ZEN AND THE ART–20 years ago I took a vacation to Negril, Jamaica. A local took my ladyfriend and me up to his place in the hills above Negril. The house was one room with a porch and completely handmade. He was 18 years old. From his porch you could look over the hills and fields. The house was 15-by-20 feet. He told me it could never be taken away from him because he had it paid off. His words: “A man must always have a place of his own, no matter how humble or proud.” Wise words from such a young man.

Nice article on the Laughlin Buell ride, I enjoyed reading it. Man, it was a long winter. As you may remember, I had family troubles to straighten out. Took over cutody of my two children and was court ordered to stay in Wisconsin. That resulted in my terminating my 20-year employment with my Louisiana oilfield employer. Of course, Wisconsin had its worse winter in recent history, so I was a displaced, unemployed, frozen Mr. Mom.

With the encouragement of friends and family, I hired the proverbial lawyer and fought back. As a result, I was rehired with my previous employer in an engineering position at its New Orlean’s facility. The children were allowed to move with me and we pulled into town dragging a 5-by-8 trailer. I bought a house the following day and we were at work and school the following week. I am not a religious man but I do believe I had help from the Man upstairs. It was a test of faith and a wake up call to what kind of future I want for myself and my family.

Every night is BIKE NIGHT around here. There is a large motorcycle community and it is very pro-active.As for riding, I have dusted off the M2 and put it back on the road. Glad to hear it is a two-up machine as I have a lady coming to town this evening and she is ready to ride! You may note the Buell custom seat on my bike. Purchased it from Dallas Buell/H-D. It is extremely comfortable. If you are riding to Sturgis, do your butt a favor and install one. Ditto on the sport rack.

Come visit some time. New Orleans has a mighty fair selection of beautiful women.

This is a photo of my Buell. It is a great two-up ride, as I found out this weekend. My friend and I rode to the Jazz Fest and the French Quarter and all points in between. She also found it extremely comfortable. I was surprised at the handling and pep it had with the two of us on it. You should see if the factory will lend you the Buell custom seat.

Will get the kids together in front of the Maison de Alexander for a photo shoot.

–Agent M-2, Anson

On to Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LAUGHLIN RAIDED BY BUTTERFLIES (CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 3

AUNT AGNES– was in her 80s, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call one afternoon and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things … a condom.

Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely Aunt Agnes had flipped or something…! But he certainly couldn’t mention the strange sight in her parlor. When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer. “Aunt Agnes,” he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” (pointing to the bowl).

“Oh, yes,” she replied, “isn’t it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know… I haven’t had a cold all winter.”

–Leona

MOTOMAMA RIDES AGAIN– with ISSUE 3!MOTOMAMA MAGAZINESPRING ISSUE RELEASE PARTY.May 8, Tuesday Bike NightSpring/Greenwich streets, Manhattan

Come celebrate the spring issue release and hang out with a diverse collection of women bikers from the area, as well as the lovely men and women who appreciate this fine lot. Otherwise, be sure to check your local newsstand or shop for MM Issue 3.

*more info at www.motomama.com

A LITTLE GIRL– A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She standsnext to the barber chair eating a cake while her dad gets his hair cut. Thebarber smiles at her and says, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on yourmuffin.”

“I know,” she replies. “I’m gonna get tits too.”

GOOD WORDS FOR BIKERNET–I just got a package from you containing a shirt that was missing from aprevious order (it was backordered), along with an autographed copy ofyour book, and I just wanted to drop you a quick note and tell you thatit’s good to know that in the darkness of the motorcycle business, thereare occasional stars like Bikernet that shine over all the rest of thefuckin dickheads who have no idea how to treat a customer or a business.

All I did was buy a couple of T-shirts and you made me feel like I wasyour No. 1 customer.It’s people like you and your team that make this all worth while, well,that, and the wind in my face…..

Keep up the good work, and if ever you or one of your ‘agents’ land inthe promised land, give us a call and we’ll get you all liquored up.

–Ziv Nave
Tel Aviv, Israel

MY BABE FROM SIN CYCLES (WONDER WHY)–Long time no hear! We finally got most of our stuff finished as well. I am putting together the bike that, last you saw, I was sending to paint…maybe some tech tips? I can send you photos of thebike being built and you can use what you like.

We will be having a bikers’appreciation day on May 12, noon to 3 p.m. with free barbecue and music.

Sin Cycles & Sinner Clothing
700 W. Willow Suite E
Long Beach, Calif. 90806
(562) 997.9119
www.sincycles.com

BUELL REPORT–And miscellaneous tech information from our inside source at Charolette H-D.

The mystery hole is for an engine temperature sensor used on the Buell X1 fuel-injected model. The Thunderstorm casting you have is an earlier version. For 2001 they moved the location of the sensor to the top of the head, about where the square hole is in the rocker box cover in the center. Buell uses the same heads for the carb. models as for the fuel injected models.

Sorry I didn’t get back to you on the H-D stroker kit till today. It’s 4 3/8 stroke. With the 95 inch big bore kit it will give you a 103-inch engine. I looked at the pistons pretty good. They are made by Arias and are a true stroker piston, which means they are very short, not much of a skirt.

I sent in a blurb on the release of the kit and you posted it in part one of the news on Feb. 1. Remember, the stroker kit is for only T.C. 88 “A” motors (Dyna’s, Baggers, etc.). Not for the Softails!

As I mentioned, you can remove the entire counter balancing system from the “B” motor. Then you can build a big-inch stroker. There will be the vibration like a stroker shovel. This is a radical option for a new Softail as the engines are not rubber mounted! Not many of these have been done.

I’m just mentioning it to you if you know somebody who has a new Softail and wants to build a strong, unique go-fasta. The balancing system pretty much makes this engine a low rpm motor. We have already replaced two Softail engines where the sprocket gear on the pinion shaft has shifted/rotated. This throws the counter balancers out of time. Suddenly you have a vibration problem, kinda like a Shovel with a broken front motor mount.

On your leaking rocker boxes: Did they leak from the bottom of the rocker box where they bolt to the head? I always put the gaskets on DRY and follow torque destructions in the manual. You can use just a small (dots) amount of Hylamar to hold the gaskets in place if need be.

Also removing the gasket from the bottom of the rocker box can be a royal pain. Use a heat gun and heat up the gaskets before scraping. This makes your gasket removal job less painful.

Wonder what your gas mileage will be riding solo. You should get 40 to 50 mpg. Of course, that depends on how much that throttle grip is twisted! How was the power riding two up? Did you seem to have plenty power for passing?

I had all the power I needed. I never really got to test what it could do.–Bandit

Sounds like Laughlin was a good trip. Did the Buell do OK? Did the gas mileage work out like I thought?The seat on the M2 is the best of the Buell models.

Here is the P/N for the 55-tooth international rear pulley 37727-97Y. Stock is 61 teeth. I forget if the M2 has a 29 or 27 tooth trans pulley. I know the S3 has a 29 T mainly because it’s for touring. The 55 T pulley might be a good choice for the Sturgis run. Running the 27/55combo gives a ratio of 2.04. The 29/55 is like 1.89. Only thing is, you lose that off the line snap you have now by using that 55 T pulley.

CV carb– I know you are swamped with News, but I wanted to e-mail you about the CV carb while it’s on my mind. The beauty of this carb is the gas mileage verses a Mikuni or Spit & Sputter (S&S). It has great performance but also very good gas mileage. It’s that vacuum slide, man. The hole (venturi) is variable and operates on engine demand.

You can modifiy the accelerator pump circuit to give you a mist spray of gas instead of that stream that just wastes all kinds of gas. You would be surprized how much that helps your gas mileage, especially for someone who constantly is “twisting the grip” at stoplights.

So try to keep track of the mileage and let me know how you did. Lots of my buddies go to the River Run from Phoenix.

TITAN GONE– Did you hear about Titan’s Chapter 7? A guy I know who worked for Myon (Easyriders), worked in the motor room for Titan. He was also there when Chuck Ashley ran the motor room.Too bad, they had a decent product. That’s it. Get some R&R man.

A NUN–is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.”

“When did you use this awful language?” asks the elder.

“Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go 280 yards, but it struck a phone line over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.”

“Is that when you swore?”

“No, Mother,” says the nun. “After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.”

“Is THAT when you swore?” asks the Mother Superior again.

“Well, no.” says the nun. “You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!”

“Is THAT when you swore?” asks the amazed elder nun.

“No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.”

“Did you swear THEN?” asked Mother Superior.

“No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole.”

The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and said, “You missed the putt, didn’t you?

JENNIFER SNYDER SETS THE TONE AT F-USA’s DIRT TRACK OPENER–17-Year-Old Records Fast Time, Wins Heat, Earns Maximum Championship Points. With a daring, last-lap pass, factoryHarley-Davidson racer Jennifer Snyder sent a bold message to the dirt trackcommunity . . . the 17-year old has arrived. Punctuating a dominatingqualifying performance, Snyder sliced through the field to win the FormulaUSA National Dirt Track Series opener, Saturday at Colonial Downs in NewKent, Va. Her first national win came after a race-long battle with teammateRich King and top competitors Mike Hacker and Bryan Smith, silencing thepundits and proving her mettle.

“She’s the real deal,” said Harley-Davidson’s legendary dirt track tunerBill Werner. “And we’re just starting to figure out how to work together.There’s no telling what her potential is in this sport.”According to Snyder, her first national victory, which was the firstnational win by a woman in the history of dirt track racing, is something onwhich she can build.

“My goal was to win, just like every time I race – but this is a greatfeeling,” said Snyder. After dominating qualifying, Snyder got a poor start in the final and had towork her way up through the field, passing eight riders in four laps.Eventually, Snyder, King, Hacker and Smith broke away from the pack andbattled each other for the lead. Snyder and Hacker drafted past King andSmith on the last lap, then Snyder grabbed the lead for good going into turnthree.

“It was a rough race, especially at the beginning, but I knew if I couldlead going into turn three, I’d be able to hold them off at the end,” shesaid.

Hacker finished second, with King holding off Smith for third.With the victory, Snyder earned maximum championship points for the event bysetting the fastest qualifying time and winning her heat race. King will return to action May 5 in the AMA U.S. Flat Track Championship atTexas Motor Speedway in Forth Worth. Snyder resumes the points chase in theFormula USA National Dirt Track Series June 8 at the Sheboygan CountyFairgrounds in Plymouth, Wis.

A COUPLE MADE A DEAL– that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The couple’s biggest fear was thatthere was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go and,true to his word, he made contact. “Mary… Mary….”

“Is that you Fred?”

“Yes, I have come back like we agreed.”

“What is it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, then I have more sex, I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon till supper-then sex till late at night,sleepthen start all over again.”

“Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Hell no, I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”

–from Dave Florence Jr.

SAM ORWELL GETS NOD–been meanin’ to drop a note to let you know I finally got to read the bookand thought it was fantastic… You did a great job with the story line,how you think it’s gonna end and then it shoots off in another direction.

Also wanted to thank you for signin’ the book too. That was unexpected andreally appreciated. Take it easy!!!

–jr

HEADACHE–A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, “I have a headache.”

“Perfect” her husband said. “I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,…

–Glen Romeo

BIKERNET DRAG RACING DEPARTMENT–NEW–This is a message from John Hammock, Modified and Pro Stock class:”I found the site and the races, my class was posted. Thank you for thepics. I have called other riders and given them the Web site info. I am the organizer for the super modified racers association and would beinterested in any exposure I can get for the class (pro-modified). http://members.tripod.com/partnersoftheroad

DAYS GONE BY–Here’s one I think you will like. This is my Web site I’ve been working on. When you get a chance, look it up. Hell, you can put it on you link page. It’s a work in progress. Some day, when it grows up, I hope it’s half has cool has Bikernet.com.

In the pic is my father in law.He used to race with Old Man Sifton. There’s more about him on my Road News Page. The Web address on this page. This is a Partners Of The Road Update. Home page http://members.tripod.com/partnersoftheroad/index.htm

–Thanks Dennis

NEW STARS CONTINUE TO SHINE IN F-USA BUELL LIGHTNING SERIESJUSTIN MCREYNOLDS CAPTURES VICTORY AT WILLOW SPRINGS ON VALLEJO BACKED S1–The Formula USA Buell Lightning Seriescontinues to deliver pavement shredding performance with incredible actionand blossoming stars. In the first two races of the season, the series hasunfurled the checkered for two first-time winners. This past April 22 atWillow Springs Raceway in Rosamond, Calif., Justin McReynolds of Brentwood, Calif.,scored the biggest win of his career, as he launched his Chris Zootis tunedVallejo Buell S1 into the lead and never looked back.

Qualifying second, behind Kosco’s X-1 rider Michael Barnes,McReynolds spooled up the torque of his Vallejo backed Buell from the lineand immediately went into the lead. Barnes, who won the season opener atDaytona, and Tripp Nobles, aboard his New Castle Buell S1, took chase. Thetrio opened up a gap over San Diego Buell’s Joe Hammond and Appleton Buell’sJeff Johnson.

As the white flag lap approached, Barnes was going for broke, butMcReynolds continued to hold the lead, with superior drives through Willow’shigh-speed turns 8 and 9. At the line, with McReynolds jubilant, Barnes andNobles took the remaining podium positions respectively. Just behind, JeffJohnson slipped past Joe Hammond for fourth.

After two races, Michael Barnes leads the Formula USA BuellLightning Series point standings over Tripp Nobles with VirginiaInternational Raceway next up on the bill, June 28 – July 1.

In accompanying F-USA National Road Race Series action, Bartels’Harley-Davidson’s Jody Hendley, a supreme Willow Springs specialist, snaredthe win in the Formula USA Sportsman class aboard his Sportster 1200, edgingout Buell pilots Jeff Johnson and Hal’s Buell backed Dan Bilansky. Johnson,who won at Daytona, still leads the Sportsman points chase.

For more information on the Formula USA series, visit their web siteat www.formulausa.com. To learn more about Buell motorcycles, visit yourlocal Buell dealer today and experience the pure streetfighter attitude,style and performance only found on board a Buell. Call (800) 490-9635 forthe Buell dealer nearest you. Or pull into www.buell.com.

WE’RE BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT–I know I’m forgetting somethin, but what the hell. There’s always next week. Remember, if you have news, events, good jokes or tech tips, send them to me with jpgs at 72 dpi and I’ll post this shit for the world to see–bandit@bikernet.com.

Nyla hung on like a leech in the Nile. I decided to give her another break in Ludlow on 40, but she was cool and we kept going to the Goff turnoff, where we got gas again. We had blasted through another 112.5 miles and took on 3.16 gallons of high test, which was giving us 35.6 mpg. The difference was due to the speed. We were cutting through a throng of butterflies at 90 mph and for long stretches at 100 mph. As it turned out, we had only another 68 miles to go for a 316-mile putt in exactly six hours. At one stop, I found a dead butterfly in perfect shape straddling my left mirror stem. We gave the poor bugger a proper burial.

At 100 mph, the M-2 ran so smooth I could ride with one hand on the bars and play grab-ass with Nyla. The rubbermount Sportster power train worked effortlessly. The bike is feather light and handles like a warm knife through butter. Even Nyla enjoyed every mile. If you get the chance to test ride a Buell, do it. You’ll be shocked at the fun you’ll have.

I won’t be mentioning Nyla much in the future. I’ll tell you about the female blow-up we had before Laughlin. Layla was as pissed as a rattler without rattles, over something that happened between Coral and Sin Wu, and she stormed out. She was waiting when I returned, though. Ya see, I’m innocent. Let’s ride–Bandit.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LAUGHLIN RAIDED BY BUTTERFLIES (CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET MEETS JIMS MACHINE–Not only are we in the process of developing a line of custom covers with JIMS, but our Web master recently came up with the above neck cup puller design and is sharing it with the bros at JIMS for a possible addition to their line of extensive special tools for working on Harleys. We hope to carry a garage selection of JIMS tools on Bikernet in the near future.

EASYRIDERS OF ALBUQUERQUE CUSTOM– I enjoyed visiting with you in Laughlin. Thanks for taking a minute to look at my creation. As promised, I’m forwarding a couple of photos of the “Alien” Paul sent me. Ride safe.

–Clif Fodge

Cliff owns Easyriders of Albuquerque, and is one of the nicest shop guys around. Check out his new bike and his new facility, if you’re in the neighborhood.

ROGUE’S QUALITY DISCOUNT PARTS– SPECIAL ROLLING CHASSIS– 1-ONLYIncludes : Black Powdercoated Kraftech Pro Street FXR Frame w/Neck CupsInstalled, American Suspension Inverted Front End With Risers, Handlebars &Brake Bracket, Black Powdercoated Oil Tank w/Chrome Oil Dipstick & MountingBracket, Set Of 3 Spoke Mag Wheels, Brake Rotors Front & Rear, Rear WheelBelt Pulley, Avon Venon X Tires Front & Rear, Complete Chrome Rear Swing ArmAssembly, Set Of Chrome Adjustable Tension Rear Shocks, Billet Aluminum RearFender Struts, Front & Rear Fenders, Gas Tanks With Mounting Brackets,Speedo Mounting Plate & Custom High End Seat Made Especially For This Setup.

$6000.00rogue@bikerrogue.com or visit web site at http://www.bikerrogue.com Photo’sAvailable

–From: DalesWenchy@att.net

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LAUGHLIN RAIDED BY BUTTERFLIES (CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 1

ERIC HERRMANN’S LAUGHLIN RENDERING–Eric was nearly finished with his new Laughlin 2001 piece while we roamed the aisles of vendors at the River Run. Here’s a sneak preview. Check out Eric’s other works right here on Bikernet. You can purchase them directly by going to the Bikernet Gulch.

ACCURATE ENGINEERING PARTNERS WITH CYRIL HUZE–I see that Cyril is doing quite well on his articles for you. Has hementioned anything about a press release announcing him getting togetherwith Accurate Engineering and them building Signature Series Engines forhim?

The owner of Accurate Engineering, Berry Wardlaw, is a very good friend ofmine and I stopped in to see him on my recent trip to Texas. They are putting a couple of engines together for Cyril to take to MyrtleBeach.

Berry is also building all my engines now. If you do not already know him,you should. Accurate Engineering, 128 Southgate Road, Dothan, Ala., 36301 -(334)702-1993

–ROGUE

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LAUGHLIN RAIDED BY BUTTERFLIESNot sure where to start this week. We rode the Buell to Laughlin with a kick-off time of 5 a.m. No, we didn’t rise and shine at 5, we were rolling down the street at that sleepy hour. I like to watch the sun come up. From a survival standpoint, I like to get the fuck out of the city and avoid truckers’ rush hour. The way L.A. is spreading, it takes two hours to clear the swelling suburbs.

Most of my brothers shook their heads in disbelief when I said we were rolling out on the Buell. I changed the oil the day before and wiped her down. She’s looking good and running strong with the new cams, carb mods, new module and exhaust (check the Garage or Buell Report). I knew the bike was comfortable and Nyla had straddled it once before. We squeezed in the earplugs, dropped that sucker in first and rolled just past Hesperia, where we stopped for breakfast. We were just at 100 miles. Get this, I had a tank bag strapped to the tank and Buell saddlebags slung over the passenger seat. We were packed to the gills with Bikernet stickers, brochures and propaganda. A map was carefully marked for the 15 highways and freeways we would traverse on our 316-mile journey into the largest desert in the world, the mighty Mojave.

Of course the tank bag is 15 years old and the clear plastic is now the color of smoke-stained plexiglass. I couldn’t read it at a stop light let alone at 100 mph on the bristling freeway. We started on Harbor Boulevard in San Pedro, picked up the 37 to the 710 to the 91 to the 605 to the 10 to the 15, where we stopped for gas at the junction of the 15 and the 40. We had gone 136 miles and used 3.58 gallons for 38 mpg. Not bad for a hopped-up bike and two passengers… We better get to the news:

10 BIKES STOLEN IN LAUGHLIN–But the worst of it is that my buddy Micah McCloskey of Micah McCloskey’s Custom Motorcycles in Canoga Park decided to go to Laughlin at the last minute. While he was gone, some assholes rammed the rear door of his shop and stole three bikes. One was the FXR he’s had since 1988. He sure would like to have it back. If you can help, call (818) 348-8967, or drop me a line at bandit@bikernet.com.

FIRST THURSDAYS IN SAN PEDRO–If you’ve been looking for something to ride to in L.A. that’s different, try puttin’ to downtown San Pedro on the first Thursday of every month. The selection of antique and custom cars is wild. There will be bikes, street vendors, bars, restaurants and bands. Nothing trendy, you’ll think you walked into a whiskey time warp taking you back to the ’50s.

SPEAKING OF SALOONS– There’s this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.

Then this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy and gulps it down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was just joking. Here,… I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t see a mancrying.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I sleep through the alarm and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. Iget a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with thegardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!!!”

–Kris B.

IN MEMORY OF–We’ve seen a number of brothers downed over the last couple of months. At the suggestion of one of our concerned readers, we kicked up a Memorial Department where you can post a tribute to anyone who has gone to polish chrome with the almighty. Personally, Ed “Big Daddy” Roth recently passed away, then Roger Ramjet, the born-again performance pervert, and finally, Travis Clemens, the son of Lee Clemens, whom I’ve known for 20 years or more. It’s especially sad to see a young rider go, especially the offspring of an old crazy fool like Lee. It doesn’t seem right.

Well, the section is there for you to pay tribute to those who no longer enjoy the non-stop spirit of life. We must cherish time as the most precious commodity. You guys be careful out there.

JULY HORSE SNEAK PREVIEW–Here’s the cover of No. 15 July to put in your news section. Watch for it on seedy newsstands everywhere there’s a ghetto.

Thanks,
Geno

OUTLAW VINTAGE SHORT TRACK RACES ARE COMING– Saturday, June 30, at the Ventura Raceway, racing blasts off at 6 p.m. The 9th Annual Antique and Classic Motorcycle Show and Exchange is on Sunday, July 1, at the Ventura County Fairgrounds. It’s sponsored and promoted by Dave Hansen of The Shop in Ventura, (805) 650-6777. http://www.cycleshop.com.

NEW PRODUCTS–With the support of Oz, our advertising director, we’re ramping up our New Products section. If you have a product, let us know. Here’s one of the newest items from Dewey’s Custom Pegs. Check it out. This is a Ramject super clean billet air cleaner.

RUN FOR BREATH IN CHARLOTTE–I’ll be there to emcee the event at H-D of Charlotte. The run will be held on Sunday, July 22, in Charlotte. Last year they raised over $6,000. At the end of the run, there were more than bikes. It gets bigger every year. Just about all the local shops and dealerships take part. This is the third annual run, with all the proceeds going to benefit the American Lung Association. For more information, contact Mike Pullin, (704) 847-4647 or www.H-DofCharlotte.com.

SAM “CHOPPER” ORWELL– If you don’t want to buy the book from me, buy it from WhiteHorse Press. They are now carrying it in their extensive catalog, or check www.WhitehorsePress.com.

On To Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT ESCAPES HEADQUARTERS (CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 1

GUN REFRESHER COURSE–
A. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
B. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
C. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
D. Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
E. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
F. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
G. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
H. If you don’t know your rights, you don’t have any.
I. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
J. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.
K. What part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?
L. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
M. 64,999,987 firearm owners killed no one yesterday.
N. Guns only have two enemies: rust and politicians.
O. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
P. You don’t shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
Q. 911 – government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
R. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
S. Criminals love gun control — it makes their jobs safer.
T. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
U. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to controlthem.
V. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
W. Enforce the “gun control laws” in place, don’t make more. (I can’t go along with this one. All federal and most state “gun control laws” are illegal)–Dale
X. When you remove the people’s right to bear arms, you create slaves.
Y. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
Z. “…a [system) governed by the people, for the people…”

–Gunracer

NEW STROKER KIT FROM HARLEY-DAVIDSON–Here’s a secret shot of the new stroker kit from Harley, taken at Charlotte Harley-Davidson by Bikernet spy Paul Davis. These massive mutha’s are now available for all Twin Cam models. Stock bikes will never be the same.

IN MEMORIAM– in memoriam Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog forcompany. When the dog died, Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be sayin’ a mass for the poor creature?”

Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we can’t be havin’ services forananimal in the church. But there is a new denomination down the lane, andthere’s no tellin’ what they believe.Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.”

Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enoughtodonate for the service?”

Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya’ tellme the dog was Catholic?

CHICA FEATURED ON BIKERNET–The exclusive customizer for Chrome Specialties was recently featured on the site by JoAnn Bortels of CrazyHorse painting. As you can see by the above image, Chica has his own old-world flair to building bikes. Check out his creativity in the garage or in the Chrome Specialties Department. Currently, CSI is the only distributor with its entire catalog on line.

SIGNS YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE HIGH-TECH WORLD– You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

Every commercial on television has a Web site address at the bottom ofthe screen.

You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells forhalf the price you paid.

The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make apurchase is foreign to you.

BALANCING THE SCALES OF JUSTICE–Sentencing Reform and America’s Drug Laws. You have to realize that a change in the national Policy could cause a serious backlash if not handled correctly. Almost $100 billion is spent every year (locally and federally) to fight the drug war. Legislation would cause a recession, if drug law sentencing reform were to ever be accomplished. All the concerns from the opponents and proponents of the issue would have to be addressed to make it work.

I will get into the reasons why first, then I will list my idea of a solution.

It seems that corporations through lobbyists push most legislation. With 22,000 lobbyists in Washington alone, how could this not be true? In California and other states, the biggest lobbyists are prison guard unions and police and prosecutor organizations. The prison industrial complex is massive. Its lobbyists wield a lot of power. Many of our congressmen depend on the large contributions these organizations give toward their re-election campaign. It’s the accepted way things are done at state and federal levels.

Since 1996, when the mandatory minimum sentences for drug law violators were instituted, federal prison budgets have shot up from $227 million annually to $4.7 BILLION annually. As of the year 2000, the cost continues to climb. At least 60 prisons are in the planning stages as we speak. Over 2 million people are in jails and prisons in the United States. Sixty percent are non-violent drug law violators.I am aware of the fact that any politician who speaks out against the drug war is committing political suicide, but– THERE IS A SOLUTION.

It is possible to institute fairness in sentencing (sentencing reform) and at the same time protect the economy. By protecting the jobs of the people who work for the various agencies that could be affected by sentencing reform, this would cancel out any economic backlash that could result in sentencing reform.

1.) By going back to the sentencing practices used before mandatory minimum sentencing, the amount of time served by an inmate for a non-violent drug offense would be reduced in most cases. There are benefits to this for not only the inmates and their families, but also for the government. Inmates would return to society and be reunited with their families sooner, becoming productive citizens and saving the government billions of dollars annually. There would be a faster turnover to help reduce the issues of overcrowding.

2.) All existing prisons and their employees would be guaranteed to keep their jobs. Most prisons and jails are bursting at the seams; overcrowding is the reason we have to continue to build new prisons every year. By changing mandatory minimum sentencing and releasing non-violent drug law violators earlier, the prisons could thin out their numbers they were designed to house in the first place. Stress levels would drop and the environment would be safer for both staff and inmates. Most prison administrators would agree to such a plan if it guaranteed job security, and lifted issues of overcrowding and safety for everyone concerned.

3.) A policy change such as this could balance the scales of justice.

–Rusty

DRAG RACING COMES TO BIKERNET, FAST–We’ve supported drag racing for over a year now and decided with the help of three of our main contributors to amp up our involvement. With the guidance of Mary and Charlie Lou Brewton, and the photographic talents of Helen Wolfe, we have launched a new department on Bikernet devoted to drag racing. In addition, our resident advertising designer John Siebenthaler has become a competent contributor. We’re looking for two sponsors for that department.

Check it out. It’s already burnin’ rubber all over the site.

HEY SIN! —I’M 38, STARTED WORKING ON JAP STUFF WHEN I WAS 20. WORKING FOR A GUYON THE SIDE (evenings, weekends) BUILDING BIG BORE ENG. & DRAG BIKES. GAVE UPJAP CRAP AROUND ’91. STARTED FOOLIN WITH H-D’S BUT STILL ON THE SIDE. SINCEOCT. ’96, I’VE BEEN SELF-EMPLOYED. JUST WORKING OUT OF GARAGE DO’IN REPAIRS,PERFORMANCE SHIT. THE LAST TWO YEARS I’VE MOSTLY DONE CUSTOM BIKES GROUND – UP AND BIG INCH MOTORS, PERF. STUFF.

HAVE ALL HAND TOOLS, AND A GOOD VARIETY OFSPECIALITY TOOLS, INCLUDING EQUIP. TO BALANCE AND TRUE FLYWHEELS, NEWAY CUTTERSTO DO VALVE JOBS, TRANS TOOLS, PRESS ANd AIR LIFT .

HAVE BUILT NUMBEROUSENGINES AND BIKES FROM STOCK TO 120CI NITRO INJECTED PRO-FUEL DRAG BIKES.STILL LOVE THE DRAG RACE SHIT, JUST CANT AFFORD IT!

WOULD LIKE TO RELOCATE INWARMER WINTER WEATHER, PREFERABLY TUCSON, PHOENIX or DAYTONA, BUT WILLCONSIDER ALMOST ANYTHING SOUTHWEST.

–HOT ROD

For a second I had the nasty inkling that he was hitting on Sin Wu. There’s that jealousy thing again.–Bandit

ZIPPERS IGNITIONS–Despite your reader’s opinions regarding the Zippers Ignition package, it is morethan just an adaptation. Of course, that does depend on your interpretationof adaptation. In so far as Dyna and Crane have “adapted” their designs tofit the twin cam platform, I suppose you could also apply that moniker to theZippers unit. You’ll find the trigger mechanism and the 95 and 107 inch mapsto be proprietary. That would suggest, quite accurately, that you can buythem only from us.

Thank you for replying… and in complete agreement that despite my “opinion”of your ignition package and what one’s true interpretation of an “adaptation”could be, I think I should define my intention of my initial inquiry.

First and foremost, the dyna does not adapt a V-thunder ignition. Itsimply plugs into the stock wiring harness and also has different advancecurves for W.O.T. (wide open throttle) and deceleration. Which merelysummarizes my “interpretation” of the TC88 Ignition system you hold soproprietarily dear, as nothing but a marketed product, and that the sameresults can be achieved by those who know enough, and can easily install anyother readily available ignition. Not to mention, the trigger mechanism thatis not hard to figure out for the aforementioned knowledgeable techs.

In defense of you guys, your warranty is admirable in the fact that thisproduct I have seen is not necessarily broken or inoperable. My problem isthat no highly skilled tech would endorse or advise the spending of such anover-priced, infomercial type “adaptation” and my problem is that you guys layunnecessary sales rap on the unknowing. No offense intended, but this couldbe a definite set up for customer dissatisfaction. You see, not only did Inot actually believe the hype, I didn’t and will never purchase this type ofproduct. I appreciate your polite/customer friendly response, yet it was justanother (of many) well-worded answers to questions that don’t hold enoughwater from a REAL performance aspect. As much as I want to say “Shame on YouZippers,” I am hoping that the recent reputation damaging heresay isuntrue… Well, I, for one, hope you guys are not “technically challenged” asbelieved by many on the East Coast. Yet, I would find it interesting to gohead to head with any technical info you guys are proclaiming new andinnovative and any reply to the contrary concerning my statements in thisletter will surely be read and replied to in a timely fashion. You never knowwhat you can learn from people, be it fictitious or factual. At one time,Zippers didn’t pass off calls from department to department…. All I want to hear atthis point is the facts, baby!! JUST THE FACTS. If you want to baffle me withbullshit, I will call it a day… If you can bedazzle me with brilliance,lets see if you still got it!!!!

Thanks.. and respectfully
Tom

Vancouver BC CANADA HOG Chapter Schedule ofevents for 2001–NOTE:VANCOUVER HOG CHAPTER MEETINGS WILL BE HELD IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH,SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER,NOVEMBER, & DECEMBER THE MEETING WILL BE ON THE FIRST TUESDAY EVENING AT7PM UNLESS IT FALLS ON ALONG WEEKEND. THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXT TUESDAY EVENING THAT ISNOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THEMONTHS OF APRIL, MAY, JUNE, & JULY THE MEETING WILL BE HELD ON THE FIRSTSATURDAY OF THE MONTH WITHA MYSTERY RIDE AFTER THE MEETING. UNLESS IT FALLS ON A LONG WEEKEND.THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXTSATURDAY THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THERE WILL NOT BE A VANCOUVERCHAPTER BUSINESS MEETING INAUGUST OF THIS YEAR.

June 2nd HOG Meeting 4608 Imperial in Burnaby Call (604) 434-1502

June 2nd & 3rd CMDRA Edmonton WWW.CMDRA.COM OR CALL (604 ) 882 1009

June 4th We will join the XL Riders for their Tuesday Evening RideLeaves TrevDeeley Motorcycles @ 7PM Call Trev Deeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 7th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PMCall Trev Deeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 9th RJ’s Ride to Harrison Hot Springs for lunch Call (604)329-6348

June 12th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PM Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 16th Darryl’s Mystery Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles CallTrev DeeleyMotorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 17th Fathers Day Ride along with Delta, Call Warren (604) 524 8963& Call your Dad

June 19th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PM Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 23rd Trev Deeley’s Show N Shine Call Trev Deeley Motorcycles (604)291 BIKE RainDate July 7th

June 23 -24th CMDRA Drags in Prince George WWW.CMDRA.COM OR CALL (604 )882 1009

June 25th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PM Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 30th Delta’s 3 day ride Call Warren (604) 524 8963

Bikernet has an area specifically designed so that anyone can post their own events, anytime, from anywhere. We also have more than reasonable banner prices, if you wish to advertise your event on Bikernet. Check it out or drop a note to SinWu@bikernet.com. If she’s not pissed at me, she’ll get right back to you.–Bandit

MODERN BUZZ WORDS–GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNO SECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a really BIG mistake.

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.”

LET’S RIDE–About now I’ll be eatin’ bugs on interstate 15 heading tearing into the smoldering Mojave. Nyla will be comfortably behind me out of harm’s way pinching me to stop for another Margarita. I’ll be wondering why I’m not in the cab of an airconditioned cage getting head and sipping something cool and refreshing, with my bike in the back, since I’ve ridden over this boring stretch of sand and faded beer cans a thousand times.

Again, I will try to better my time, not stopping for gas in Ludlow due to the crowds and dodging the beer cans flying out of the cabs of trucks hauling bikes to Laughlin. Frankly, I don’t care how you get there, air-conditioned or on a rigid, just have a good fuckin’ time and don’t run over my sorry ass. It’s 90 mph all the way. Let’s party–Bandit.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT ESCAPES HEADQUARTERSWith jealousy raging at the headquarters, I called for backup. Just one girl will hug me all the way to Laughlin. As of 5 a.m. Thursday, Japanese Jay and I, plus Nyla were cutting a dusty trail for the shimmering neon paradise on the Colorado River. I gotta tell you what happened to Layla, and where I met Nyla, but that will have to wait until I get back.

Wouldn’t you know that just as the River Run looms in the distance, the Golden State launches another one of its heat waves, so we’ll be sliding out of the coastal Santa Anas for even hotter climes in the desert. That’s one of the reasons for the early departure. The other reason is Sin Wu. Seems the Oriental goddess is developing a jealous streak. Time to leave town. Let’s get to the news, we’re burnin’ daylight:

PROFESSOR NUTTBOY–Has been crying that we have illustrated all the fiction except his. After interrogation and knocking out several of Jon’s teeth, he confessed his jealously for the doctor’s bizarre humor. Afraid that there is someone on the planet with a more demented notion of life than his own, he chose to ignore his etchings. Drugged and handcuffed to his chair, we forced him to draw the above illustration for one of the professor’s fictional ramblings–check it out in the Two-Wheeled Tale Department.

STURGIS CULTURE–Hold on old timers. Remember the days of drunken debauchery and drugs? Now we have a couple Sturgis art exhibits and we’ll be represented in both, hopefully. Here’s a note about one:

The Journey Museum in Rapid City, S.D., will host a photographyexhibition by Michael Lichter titled “Biker Generation.” The images, whichinclude many of Mike’s best-known works from 20 years of photographing thebiker lifestyle, will be on display from Aug. 4 through Sept. 3.

Some 13 ofthe finest custom motorocycles by some of the most famous bike builders inthe world will be on display with the photographs in the gallery and museum atrium from Aug. 4-11.

The opening reception, which Mike andmost of the participating builders will attend, is scheduled forTuesday, Aug. 7 from 4 – 8 p.m. Builders include Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James,Fred Koklin, Billy Lane, Bob McKay, Jim Nasi, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, RonSimms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffee. The receptionis free and open to the public.

The museum is open from 9 a.m to 5 p.m.daily, and until 6 p.m. during bike week. It is located at 222 New York St., two blocks east of the Rushmore Plaza Holiday Inn and theCivic Center. Admission is $5 during bike week.

STRANGE CANTINA SHIT–Only the strangest, one-of-a-kind shit will be featured in Bandit’s Cantina. Check it out–we found the only sucker in the world to custom-paint oil filters.

BIG TIME, FIRST TIME, ANNUAL EVENT!–Last year (2000) was the first year for Nebraska’s Burn Camp for young burn victims. St. Elizabeth Hospital in Lincoln, Neb., is our state’s burn center and the direct sponsor for the summer camp. It was held in Burwell, Neb., last August and six children attended. Their ages ranged from 8-15 years.

The WIND& FIRE MOTORCYCLE CLUB (LINOMA) chapter is going to put on a Burn Camp poker run on July 7. Sign-ups are 9 a.m. to noon with escort. We are starting at two locations at the same time — the Lincoln firefighter and the Omaha firefighter halls. The last stop will be at Linoma beach. Cost is $8.50, all you can eat buffet of ribs and chicken. Cash prizes and raffles will be drawn here. All bikes and bikers welcomed.

What is the Wind & Fire MC? My name is MC Flott and I am with the Omaha Fire Department and a Local 385 member. We are firefighters who own and ride Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Anyone who owns a Harley and is a firefighter may join.

The W&F MC Burn Camp Poker Run has been approved by the national W&F organization and St. Elizabeth’s hospital in Lincoln, Neb. Contact- mcflott@home.com

–mc flott

A DOCTOR–A doctor and his wife are having a terrible fight at the breakfasttable.The doctor gets up in a rage and walks out yelling, “and you are notanygood in bed either.”

After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends. Hecalls his wife and after at least a dozen rings she answers the phone.Again irritated, the doctor says, “What took you so long to answer thephone?”

She says, “I was in bed.”

“In bed this late in the day, doing what?”

“I was getting a second opinion,” she replied.

FAST DATE’S NEGOTIATIONS–If you’ve joined the Cantina, you saw Jim’s babes. We’re in the process of negotiating a contract with Jim to house all his calendar girls in the Bikernet headquarters during the six months it takes to shoot each calendar. We’ll report on the progress in the next couple weeks.This month he wrapped up the photography of the upcoming 2002 FastDates.comCalendars in a sizzlin’ cover shoot with our favorite calendar models andSBK World Superbike trophy girls Brooke Johnson and Taylor McKegney. Thingsreally got heated up in the studio between these two beautiful girls andI’m sure you’ll appreciate the results in the 2002 Garage Girls Calendar.And of course, the steamier outtakes from our shoot will be featured inMembers Corner in the next few months. So stay tuned…http://www.FastDates.com/MBRINVIT.htm

MUST SEE TV! —Speedvison’s American Thunder program coverage of our Hot Bikepresents the 2000 White Brothers LA Calendar Motorcycle Show premiers onTuesday, May 15, at 7:30 and 11:30 p.m. Eastern time. The 30-minute programwill replay throughout the year.I’ll be sure to remind you to catch the show next month before it airs.

CYRIL SHOWS IT ALL–For the first time, you can see Cyril and his team of craftsmen building a new custom from the ground up. Every Friday starting this week, just log on to the site of Bandit’s Bikernet at http://www.bikernet.com. Bikernet is owned and managed by Keith R. Ball, one of the greatest authorities in the motorcycle world. Keith is known worldwide by the pen name Bandit. His work fascinated Easyriders readers for three decades. He is the author of several books (“Prize Possession,””Outlaw Justice,” and “Orwell”). He has also restored and customized all types of two-wheelers.

Editor’s note. Cyril was on strong medication when he wrote theabove. Actually Bandit is not an authority on anything aside fromnipple technology. Give him enough jack and he’ll admit it.–Oz

Exclusively for Bikernet.com, from concept to final assembly, Cyril will explain how he gets his ideas, demonstrates his philosophy in action, shares with you tech tips and fabrication tricks to build the ultimate custom. Every Friday, Cyril will report on the progress made, and illustrate the work accomplished with many pictures. Log on now to http://www.bikernet.com and bookmark the site.

2- Cyril at the Louisiana Bike Expo in New Orleans:April 21-22, Cyril will be in New Orleans at the Bike Expo (Ponchartrain Center in Kenner, outside New Orleans). Three of his customs belonging to Louisiana residents will be in exhibition. Cyril will also show his accessories and autograph the new hard cover book, “Harley-Davidson: Customizing The Legend.”

3- “High Octane” and “Cruising” are featured in VQ and V-Twin Magazines:Two of the most recent bikes built by Cyril Huze, “High Octane” and “Cruising,” are featured in the current issues of VQ and V-Twin magazines. This is a good opportunity to find out the components used to build these customs.

4- On Line Store:We added new custom accessories. See them at http://store.cyrilhuze.com. Our store is secure and you can order online with a credit card. Or call (561) 392-5557.Because of the addition of these new accessories, the loading of our pages is getting longer and longer. So, we are working very hard at redesigning our Webstore for a faster and easier navigation. We will also offer new features like:

– Up to five images per product to help you make your decisions.
– Multiple payment methods, including credit card, check, money order and gift certificate.
– The possibility to buy gifts and have them shipped to other family members and friends.
– Tracking of the status of your order online.
– Estimated shipping date if a product is back ordered.

We should be ready before the end of May. Thank you for your patience.

Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles and Accessories
Tel: (561) 392-5557
Fax: (561) 392-9923
Website:
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com”>

Continued on Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LOST ARTIFACT FROM THE TOMB OF KING PUTT DISCOVERED IN BIKERNET BASEMENT (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 3

BUSH PLAN TO REGULATE MOTORCYCLISTS– In a startling revelation, George W. Bush announcedtoday before a packed gallery of reporters that he was considering boldinitiatives to regulate the 4 million motorcyclists in the United States.

Bush stood flanked by Vice-President Dick Cheney, American MotorcyclistAssociation (AMA) President Robert Rasor and Willie G. Davidson, vice president ofStyling for Harley-Davidson Motor Co. Bush said, “We expect to put inplace a plan of action that will benefit all Americans, not justmotorcyclists.”

The centerpiece of legislation proposed by Bush would be a monitoring systemthat would include a special electronic badge to be affixed to allmotorcycles, similar to the E-Z pass card in use in the Metropolitan NY andWashington, DC areas. With this new system to be called E-Z Rider, a specialPentagon computer would be linked to the current system of 25 earth orbitingsatellites that would continuously scan the earth’s surface in search of E-ZRider badges.

Cheney then said, “We need a first application for this system.Harley-Davidson has come forward with a proposal that I feel has merit. Thedata from E-Z Rider would be transmitted to the main computer center at theHarley-Davidson corporate center in Milwaukee, Wis.”

When questioned by reporters, Willie G. Davidson said, “With the use of E-ZRider, we will have a way to monitor the whereabouts of all motorcycleriders anywhere in the US. Furthermore, we have entered into an agreementwith the government to place a 2-digit code on the E-Z Rider badge toidentify Harley-Davidson riders.

This is especially important to us since we have our 100th anniversarycoming up in 2003. If President Bush and Vice-President Cheney can get thislegislation passed during this session of Congress, we will have a goodwindow of opportunity to get this system operational by the first quarter of2003 just prior to our 100th anniversary celebration.”

Davidson further stated, “We have received estimates from our H.O.G.chapters across the world that upwards of one million riders of our machineswill be descending on the Motor Company in Milwaukee. As you know, ourbuilding dates back to 1910 and has severe structural rigidity problems. Wehave been advised that the decibel (DB) levels coincident with one millionHarley engines all running at a speed of at least 34 miles per hour may havedeleterious effects on our factory.

Our engineers tell us that the building may fall. We are also concerned forthe various bridges in our city. The anticipated noise load may stress thesebridges beyond their design limits. That’s why we need to be able to detectthe approaching HOG traffic and disperse it to the secondary streets so asto equalize the load to be within design limits. The future of our companyis at stake here. This E-Z Rider legislation must be passed.”

Bush then said, “We are happy that Willie G. is here today to offer hiscompany’s support for this plan. We look forward to H-D partnering with thefederal government and being our first application of this important system.Furthermore, I’m taking this opportunity to announce that Laura and I areboth going to be riding in this 100th anniversary celebration. Laura justpresented me with a new Springer Softail. I plan to learn to ride it on thenew baseball diamond fields just now being set up on the South Lawn.”

“April Fools.”
–“Heavy Metal”
AMA #560419
’96 Kawasaki VN800B Vulcan Classic

Sin Cycles and Sinner clothing would like to announce the release of our summer clothing line.– Feel free to stop by our shop, or visit our Web site at www.sincycles.com. You can order direct from our Web site. Check out our new Sinner bathing suits, visors, hats and shirts.

Sin Cycles
Sinner Clothing
www.sincycles.com
(562) 997-9119

LARRY HAGMAN HONORED– Hey everyone! The tribute gala honoring Larry Hagman is booking up fast, soplease let us know as soon as possible if you’ll be able to join us at theBeverly Hilton on May 5. Semi-formal, dinner, dancing and silent auction -$125/person (310) 204-3300.

REFRIGERATOR NAZIS–At first I figured your reference to them refrigerator Nazis was a bit far reachin’ for me to get behind in your book “Sam Chopper Orwell.” Not that it detracted any from the story line, though. Just heard on the news, however, California is leanin’ toward that already due to power shortages going on. You must be one helluva fuck’n prophet there, dude. Ha!

Truthfully, though, I’ve seen first hand many of the subtlties you’ve mentioned going on around this country regarding the problems us bikers face with our freedoms. Since I may not have mentioned it before, consider it done now that you’ve done well with the book, and that your ex was right about the whole idea. I’m pass’n along the book to members of our “Valley A.B.A.T.E. Motorcycle Association” (of which I’m the treasurer). You’ll get some interest there, I’m sure. I’ll pass along your web site, too, so other writings of yours can be obtained if desired. I certainly am interested in reading more of your works, too.

–F.C. (Zzap!) White
Alaska, USA

CHROME SPECIALTIES ON-LINE CATALOG–Is here for you. We hope to offer more direct parts services in the near future, but for now, you can go directly to the CSI catalog just by clicking above.

BANDIT, GODDAMNIT LISTEN UP!– My bike was in November Cyber Bike Show, “In Memory of Justin.” It won first place in its class. Every July I put together a poker run and bike show. I call it the “Run For Breath – In Memory of Justin Pullin.” The run will be held on Sunday, July 22, here in Charlotte, N.C. Last year we raised over $6,000. At the end of the run there were over 1,000 bikespresent. Every year its gets bigger. Just about all the local shops and dealerships take part in the event. Last year there was local TV coverage also. I don’t know if it is possible or not, but I would like to ask you to emcee this event. I think having someone who is well known and respected as you are would draw even more attention to our event. I would be able to provide airfare, a place to stay, etc. I hope you will consider this request, as the run gets bigger and better every year. This will be the third annual run. All proceeds go to benfit the American Lung Association.

–Mike Pullin
Harley Davidson of Charlotte www.h-dofcharlotte.com(704) 847-4647 (work)

If I can be of assistance cleaning off the tables or stacking cups, I’ll be there.–Bandit

BIKERNET GULCH ACCUSED OF BEING WORLD WIDE ESCORT SERVICE–It’s just not true. Just talk to Kelly and Samantha. On second thought, you better not. I swear, the Bikernet Gulch is our our own specialized outlet mall. Secure ordering, resonable prices and customer service like you wouldn’t believe. I’m not sure I meant it that way. Buy a book, I’ll sign it. Buy a limited edition print, Eric Herrmann will sign it. Order a black and white limited- edition photo print and Mike Lichter, the famous Easyriders photog, will sign and mount the sucker. Maybe mount wasn’t the right word. Little Joe won’t sign his HA Leathers, but they’re the best in the world, and made by hardcore to last a lifetime. It’s a group of speciality shops hand picked by the Bikernet staff for quality and customer service. Of course, check out the Dragonfly girls. The shirts ain’t bad either.

REGISTRATION– for the 2001 Hot Bike magazine presents The White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show sponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler and Budweiser.

Saturday and Sunday July 21-22The Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach

Registration for July’s show is now open and you are invited tojoin us. For 2001 we have expanded to a new two-day format at the Queen MaryEvent Park in Long Beach to accommodate the sold out spectator attendance weexperienced the last two years. But even with the expanded formatwe have not increased our exhibitor space cost, now giving you twice asmarketing value for the same price.

Exhibitor registration packs were mailed out to our year 2000 eventexhibitors this past week. If you did not receive yours or would like to join us this year as a new exhibitor, please give me acall to request a registration package.Or visit us online for complete details and an online registrationform that you can print out and mail in with payment.http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm

I also recommend making your hotel reservation at the Queen Mary soyou can easily walk to and from the show each day, and you’ll be there onon Saturday night for the big fireworks display and the bike show partywith live music in the Observation Deck Bar at 9 p.m. Ship hotelreservations are almost sold out, but still available by phoning(562) 435-3511.

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE ’90s AND 2000– You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?”
Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her Web site.

RIP TRIBUTE–Rip had the most envious job of anyone in the Harley industry. He was paid to ride, and boy he did just that. We here at Bikernet respect the hard-riding brother he was. We’re collectin’ a series of shots of him as a remembrance and a reminder of his American Diabetes Bad Ride that raises money for the cause. If you have a shot of Rip you can spare, we will create a tribute to the man who made the notion of cross-country no more significant than a daily commute.

VANCOUVER HOG SCHEDULE-EH?–April 21 HOG Members Garage Sale at Trev Deeley Motorcycles. Call (604)434-1502
May 5 HOG Meeting 4608 Imperial in Burnaby. Call (604) 434-1502
May 6 Warren’s Mystery Ride HOG Meeting. Call (604) 524-8963
May 13 Mother’s Day Ride along with Delta Chapter. Call Your Mom. CallWarren at (604) 524-8963
May 18-20 AIM Bogie Bash. Call (800) 360-9079
May 22 Trev Deeley Day. Nite Ride leaves the store at 7 p.m. Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles(604) 291-BIKE

I KNOW THERE’S MORE–But I’m burnt, the sun is going down, and the Jack is waiting. We actually have some room in the garage to get cranking on NuttBoy’s ProStreet. There’s a major swapmeet coming up around the 20th and we want a complete list of needed parts and a handful of cash before we stroll through the gates.

Now that everyone has cleared out and it’s quiet around here, I need to warm up the head, fire up the candles and make her a white Russian. After a long bath it will be porno movies, sexual innuendos and lotsa touch through the night.

I can feel the sun beginning to force the cold chill to sea, and riding weather ahead. Take care of your babe so she won’t whimper when your drag pipes reverberate off the side of the stucco abode as you head out of town for the redhead in the neighboring burg. Let’s ride, we’re burnin’ daylight.

–Bandit