Bandit’s out of touch and has no sympathy for you poor souls who couldn’t go to Sturgis. He calls every night to check on us but we don’t answer the phone. Non-stop parties since he left. As long as he can’t reach us, he can’t tell us how to do the news. So………………

Hello men. For this week’s news, you may want to turn the computer over to your lady. Sin here, and I’ve taken over the news while Bandit’s gone. No blonde jokes and not too much news for men.

Oh, I’ll add a few tasty shots of women, so stick around, you may learn something.

Check out her Web site. Very nice lady. She’s sending me one of her books and I’ll give a review next week. Meanwhile, here are some reviews she’s already received.

“To find your beautiful book now underlines what those of us who really understand it all know, which is that women riders have always been an essential part of our motorcycle culture history (not just objects placed next to bikes for stupid photos in dumb magazines) and that it’s high time to set the record straight.. Your book contributes to this record straightening and I congratulate you.”
Martin Rosenblum, historian, Harley-Davidson Motor Company

“We all love the book and calendar–it’s very attractive and excellently designed. We are excited about adding it to our next catalog. We’re delighted that you published this book–it’s a class act, and we’re proud to be able to offer it to our customers. “
Erika Rundle/Whitehorse Press

This Won’t Hurt A Bit

The pretty young miss was having a toothpulled and the dentist gave her the usual”This won’t hurt a bit” routine before bendingover her with a drill in his hand.

He immediately drew back in completealarm. “Miss,” he said in a barely audiblewhisper, “You have hold of my privates!””Yes, doc, I know,” she smiled, “and wearen’t going to hurt each other, are we?”

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Show up naked.Bring beer.

Continued From Page 2

Carribean Report

By the time you read this we will be (we hope) near Sturgis. We have beenwatching the weather and all the crap that’s been going around in theMidwest, seems like Bandit is staying dry, for now. The Caribbean is no funeither, ashes from the Volcano “Soufriere” in Montserrat have traveled allover the islands and deposited by the rains. These ashes leave a very”caulky” residue and are murder for car paint. Oh well, seems like theashes are better than storms from the Atlantic (the ones that createhurricanes). The less rain we get on the way to South Dakota the better,and the quicker the trip will be, even worse would be that it rained duringthe rally, but that would be Mr. Murphy at his best. Oh well, here we gowith the quick news.

A ride for Cucho will take place Aug. 5. The purpose is to raise fundsfor his recuperation and hospital bills.At the same time a ride will take place in Orlando, Fla., for the samepurpose. Too bad I don’t have the meeting place in Orlando to inform. I canpost an address later on for those who are willing to help.

Jesse James, Indian Larry and the crew should be on the way to Sturgis. They plan to ride the whole way while filming for the new Discovery show.

If you have thought about building a WCC bike, here’s another hint, theonly battery that will work on their bike is a Big Boar BB300 mini. It’sonly 41/8 inches tall.

Bill Of No Rights

The following has apparently been to State Representative MitchellKaye from Georgia. I hope this guy runs for president:

“We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to helpeveryone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any moreriots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure theblessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and ourgreat-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordainand establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,guilt ridden, delusional and other liberal, bed-wetters. We hold thesetruths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused bythe Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of NoRights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV orany other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquirethem, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. Thiscountry is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone –not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express adifferent opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probablyalways will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If youstick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do notexpect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relativesindependently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladlyhelp anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizinggeneration after generation of professional couch potatoes who achievenothing more than the creation of another generation of professionalcouch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That wouldbe nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just notinterested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t besurprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of othercitizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lockyou away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a bigscreen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don’t have the right to demand that our childrenrisk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. Wehate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you fromgoing to fight if you’d like. However, we do not enjoy parenting theentire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battlingeach and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don’t have the right to a job. All of us sure want allof you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, butwe expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education andvocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an Americanmeans that you have the right to pursue happiness – which, by the way,is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idioticlaws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.”

If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many peopleas you can. No, you don’t have to, and nothing tragic will befall youshould you not forward it. We just think it is about time that commonsense is allowed to flourish – call it the age of reason revisited.

Dear Abby

My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but has cheated our entire marriage. He’s a good provider and has many friends and supporters.

They know he’s a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He’s a hard worker, but many of his co-workers are leery of him. Each time he gets caught, he denies it all.

Then he admits he was wrong, and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for years and years. Everyone in town knows he’s a cheat. I don’t know what to do.

Signed,

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated:

You should dump him…. Now that you’re a New York senator, youdon’t need him anymore.

Picotte Takes 11th, Smith 12th at BrainerdTeammates Duel in 11th Round of AMA Superbike Series

BRAINERD, Minn. (July 30, 2001) – Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Superbike racerPascal Picotte finished 11th while teammate Mike Smith took 12th Sunday atthe Colonel’s Brainerd International Raceway in the 11th round of the AMASuperbike Series.

According to Harley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker, the VR 1000’shorsepower shortage was evident on Brainerd’s mile-long straight. However,Baker said, expected horsepower improvements should be seen in the nearfuture.”The development team has been hard at work in developing improved power andengine performance,” said Baker. “Those changes are currently being testedand evaluated. Based on those tests, we expect to see gains on the tracksoon.”

Picotte and Smith battled each other throughout Sunday’s race, swappingpositions numerous times during the 21-lap event.”He would get me in one corner and then I would draft and get by him – wehad some fun,” said Smith. “He had a little better set up off the cornersand once he got a lapped rider between us later in the race, I couldn’t doanything about that.”

Honda’s Nicky Hayden took first at Brainerd, edging teammates Kurtis Robertsand Miguel Duhamel, who took second and third respectively.The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Team will next race Aug. 24-26 in the AMASuperbike Series at Pikes Peak International Raceway in Fountain, Colo.

Price Runs All 200 mph Passes-Finals Rescheduled for Norwalk

Stanton, Mich.: Ray Price, Raleigh, NC’s Harley-Davidson dealer qualified thirdat the CarQuest Northern Nationals, Mid Michigan Motorplex, Stanton, Mich. In afield where the top seven teams ran in excess of 200 is significant but Price’sconsistency was just dazzling. All Price passes were in excess of 200,another feather in the cap of the Hall of Fame inductee.

“The team really worked hard and really hung together. We were the mostconsistent bike on the track all weekend.” (202.45, 205.13, 207.46, 208.49,211.63, and 214.45 mph) “We scuffed a piston and have minimal work to dobefore the next race,” said Price.

Price had left Raleigh feeling good about his team and his Screamin’ EagleNitro Harley-Davidson and was well prepared for the next two weeks of racingbut after making it too the final round, he’ll have to wait for the finalpass at Stanton. IHRA officials deemed the shutdown to be unsafe for thenitro two-wheelers and the CarQuest Northern National final between Price andSteve Stordeau will be postponed until Norwalk, Ohio Aug. 23-26.

Ray Price Racing is supported by Ray Price Harley- Davidson, Raleigh HOG, S &S Cycle, Cintas, Power Arc Ignition Co., Ultra Pro Machining, JIMS, RoyalPurple Synthetic Motor Oil, Shumaker Racing, Performance Machine, BarnettTool & Engineering, Vanson’s, Carolina Cobras, and Wilder’s Inc

Just a quick hello to Chris Trolone and his brother Bob. Bob did the painting. Sorry guys, I don’t know who’s who!

~Sin

Well, good night all. This news business is for the birds. Too much time spent on a computer for me, while I’m on vacation, I mean.

Hopefully Bandit will be home by next Friday. The girls and I are having a good time, but we really miss the big guy.
Phone sex is fun every now and then but there’s nothing like the touch of someone you love.

Have a great weekend,

~Sin, Layla and Coral

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Like some people say, no news is good news. Seems that there’snot much to report this week. The tropical storms have been rolling down from theAfrican coast, which means rainy weather for all of us in the Caribbean. Atleast all those cold fronts and rain from the U.S. are keeping the hurricanesaway, for now. I hope Bandit’s not getting soaked on his way to theBlack Hills. We all have been riding while it’s raining, but a couplethousand miles must be the ultimate bitch! By the way, last week’s photoof the bike is not a BMC, it’s one of our rigids (yes, it’s for sale) andthe WCC won’t be ready before the trip, we are still waiting for some parts(the seat!) and we won’t have time to give her the proper shakedown beforeheading north. I’m sure the bike will be posted as soon as it’s done androlling.On Sept. 29, there will be a ride to raise funds for Cucho’shospital bills (Cucho is our friend who had the accident in Oklahoma a fewweeks ago). The Desertores will take care of the organizing and logistics. We are pretty sure everyone and their mothers will show up for this one.The September issue of The Horse features riders and bikes from Havana, Cuba.Try to pick that one up at your favorite dealership. Most of the guys there aregood friends and go to hell and back just to maintain those bikes.I have some photos of a ride we participated in in Cuba, which we will postsooner or later.

BIKER GENERATION AT THE JOURNEY MUSEUM–The Journey Museum in Rapid City will be hosting a photography exhibition by Michael Lichter, titled Biker Generation. The images, from 20 years of photographing the biker lifestyle, will be on display Aug. 4 through Sept. 4. Also in the gallery and in the museum atrium from Aug. 4-10 will be 13 of the finest custom motorcycles by some of the most famous bike builders in the world. The builders include Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James, Billy Lane, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Ron Simms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffe.

Biker Generation, which was timed to coincide with the 61st annual Bike Week in Sturgis, is the Journey Museum’s first show with a motorcycle theme.

The Journey Museum is open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, and until 6 p.m. from Aug. 4-11. The museum is located at 222 New York St., two blocks east of the Rushmore Plaza Holiday Inn and the Civic Center, where Harley-Davidson is headquartered.

SE FU IN KOREA–There was a time when I trained in close quarters combat with sensie Mark Lonsdale, the most dangerous man in the states. I always interrogated him as to his master was. He would just shout at me, “Wipe on, wipe off, goddamnit!”

For years I dug through his desk and files when he wasn’t around looking for the key individual to his success. I finally met him through a woman in San Pedro who introduced me her brother. Brad Olsen, a constant fighter and trainer, told me that he had been training with the man who came to the states with Bruce Lee an Dick Bondano, a man who is never in his dojo but generally in foriegn countries training secret police and death squads. I had found the most dangerous man on the earth, and here’s his photo.

This was taken after completing a training excercise with the elite Rebel Renegade Squad from Poland. As a token of their appreciation, they awarded him Poland’s only custom chopper.

Dick is now my mentor, Se Fu and Emperial Master.

Bandit,Likewise, I would love to putt to Sturgis, but I don’t have my Road King.Live to ride.

Aloha, Dick Bondano

P.S.There was this couple who were married for 20 years, and every time theymade love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid.She figured she would break him of the crazy habit.

So one night while they were in the middle of a romanticsession, she turned on the lights.She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery operatedpleasure device.She gets completely upset.

“You impotent bastard,” she screamed at him,”how could you be lying to me all of these years?You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly,”I’ll explain the toy if you explain the kids.”

Oh, Emperial Master, I’m working on your fuckin’ Road King, alright.–Your humble student, Bandit

ANOTHER BEACH RIDE UPDATE–Thank you all! Your determination, passion, hard work and big hearts assured that Beach Ride 10 was the most successful ever! ECF is truly blessed to have such awesome support. I too am blessed to work with all of you, and for your friendship and support. We’re planning a little get-together here soon as well as a follow-up critique meeting. I was thinking of renaming ourselves right after the event —

EXHAUSTED MC
Kia Andersson – L.A Chapter Secretary

RAY PRICE RACING HITS THE ROAD–Ray Price Racing is preparing for its longest road trip ofthe race season. ?The Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley drag race team leavesRaleigh on July 25 to compete this weekend in Stanton, Mich., at for theIHRA’s 20th Annual CarQuest Auto Parts Northern Nationals. ?Price is verycomfortable at the Mid Michigan Motorplex after winning that event in 1999. ?According to Price, “We are familiar with the track and the team iscomfortable at the facility.”

Price and team members Nick Richendollar and Rex Harris will then travel toSturgis, S.D., to compete at the star-studded 1/8 mile, one of the crown jewelsin Harley-Davidson drag racing.

After a week at South Dakota, the team will again turn east and will wrap upthis trip at Bristol, Tenn., for the ADHRA event, Aug. 11-12.

Preparing for the trip, Price went to Rockingham last weekend for a testsession and was very pleased. ?”We ran a 6.60 ET at 209 mph ?right out of thetrailer. ?For our second pass, we tried a different combination that didn’t’work as well, but we learned what we’d gone for and are now ready to hit theroad. This is one of the most exciting months of the session for us. ?When weget back from Bristol we only have seven days to prepare for the 24th AnnualMopar Parts World Finals in Norwalk, Ohio. Bill Bader, IHRA’s fearless leader,has pulled out all the stops for this event. ?The media coverage, theenthusiasm of the fans make this a thrilling event for us to participate in.”

CHOPPERSCYCLE.COM IN STURGIS– We invite you to visit our oil change center located at 3rd and Lazelle in Sturgis. We will be showcasing our EZshop catalog and computers will be set up for rally goers to shop online for all their aftermarket Harley-Davidson parts, accessories and clothing.

We will also offer Sturgis T-shirts and sterling silver jewelry.? We hope to see you there!? We would love to meet our associates in person!

–Treena Davis

SMITH TAKES 11TH TWICE IN DOUBLEHEADER AT MID-OHIO– Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Racer Mike Smithfinished 11th both Saturday and Sunday, while teammate Pascal Picotte took12th Saturday but pulled out of Sunday’s race after experiencing clutchproblems during an AMA Superbike Series doubleheader weekend at the Mid-OhioSports Car Course.

“We’ve tried some things that haven’t worked as well as we would have likedthis year, but we’re getting closer and I’m excited about what I see comingin development,” said Smith. “The entire team is working harder and diggingdeeper to reach the competitive level we all expect.”According to Harley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker, the developmentprogram is aggressively engineering a variety of VR 1000 enhancements. Theteam tested new chassis components during practice Thursday and Friday atMid-Ohio.

“We’re still looking for step improvements on the chassis and in power, andwe haven’t reached the stage in development where the results can be seen onthe track,” said Baker. “However, the system from which those improvementswill come is in place and running strong. We’re looking forward to theremainder of the season.”

A LESSON IN FARTS-=- This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he woke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn’t stop and that it was perfectly normal. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one

Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes. After years of torture she reckoned she had got her revenge.

About 20 minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip and asked what was wrong.

He said, “Honey, you were right. All those years you warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vasoline and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.”

–Darcy

New Bikernet stickers. Someday we’ll get ’em right–Bandit.

NEWS FROM GUNNY AND THE NCOM GANG–

HARRISBURG, PENN: Over in York, Penn., (where H-D has a factory), andalso in Akron, Ohio, there is a new twist on stealing motorcycles. It workslike this: A guy reads the ad in the paper that you want to sell your scoot.?He gives you a shout on the phone and says he’s a doctor at such-and-suchhospital. He then sets an appointment with you to meet him at the hospitalwith the scoot so he can look at it. You show up and he, all dressed inscrubs, shows you money but asks for a test ride just as a formality. Youbeing a nice guy, and doctors being so trustworthy, you hand him your keysand he disappears down the street, never to be seen again.

This seems to be a local problem in that area, but seller beware, there aresome real smoothies out there. This seems to be aimed mostly at Harleys, butit could happen to other makes and other localities too. Just use somestreet smarts, and be careful who you let ride your ride, unless you have thebucks in your hand.

GUNNY AGAIN: Another group of dedicated people who continue to fight for usin the courts are the Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) attorneys whoare here for us when we fall off our scooters or bend our fenders.They ride just like we do and know what the world is for us when we areinvolved in an accident. Our Oregon guy, Sam Hochberg, started riding in1971.?Whatever legal question you have, call the A.I.M. attorney in your areaand he will try and help you out. Your initial legal consultation is free,too.?They have some legal eagles now who also handle criminal defense, too –it’s Aid to INCARCERATED Motorcyclists.?Same phone numbers –1-800-ON-A-BIKE.?Me, I try and stay out of the hoosegow, but you never knowwhen you might need a good lawyer.

FEDERAL WAY, WASHINGTON: On Oct. 13, there will bea regional National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) conference in theSeattle area, also sponsored by the efforts of this A.I.M. attorney network.?This FREE Freedom Fighters Forum is hosted by ABATE of Washington and theConfederation of Clubs of Washington and will start at 10 a.m. at the FederalWay Holiday Inn. For directions or room reservations, call the Holiday Innat (800) 583-2272 and tell ’em NCOM sent ya for a discounted room rate of $79single/double. Expect the Western U.S. states to be well-represented by theMotorcycle Rights Organizations and all the Confederations of Clubs in thosestates.?Hope to see ya there!

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA IF–The guy in line at Starbucks, wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses, andlooks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay,and you Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

It’s sprinkling out, and there’s a report onevery news channel about “THE STORM!”

GIMME THE KEY TO THE GARAGE–It’s time to move and groove toward the Badlands. This year’s run to South Dakota has but one theme: time and money. How does a man in the 21st century find time to wipe his ass let alone ride to Sturgis?

I’ll be gone for a couple of days, raising hell with my brothers from here to hell and back. Try to hold the place together, will ya? I’ll be back. –Bandit

Mike Pullin, founder of Run for Breath, and Meanest woman alive at their event in Charlotte.

I’m not sure what to say about the last couple of weeks. If I had been on drugs, I would have died or killed the drugs. It’s been a whirlwind, but all good. I’m about 48 hours from pulling out for the Badlands, and I don’t know which way is up.

I’ll get more into last weekend’s Run for Breath in Charlotte in my report, if I get it scratched out before I fire up the Buell and head for the edge of town. In Los Angeles, that’s the toughest part of the ride to anywhere. Cutting a dusty trail east, the edge of this swarming metropolis is just west of Palm Springs.

Real quick, those two people pictured above worked their butts off on the 3rd annual Run for Breath, a charity ride for the American Lung Association. Mike, of Charlotte H-D, lost his 16-year-old son to asthma three years ago and he’s acutely aware of the harmful effects of lung disease. I was touched by his dedication and hope to reflect it in my article. I was also impressed by the respect the biking community in Charlotte has for this man, including the staff of the dealership.

Sandy worked so fucking hard on the event for Justin Pullin, you would have thought he was her son.

As you dip into the news, you’ll come across a report on the L.A. Calendar Show, which was gang busters. We had a booth there and sponsored the packed party in the Observation Bar on Saturday night. We couldn’t have put it together without the dedication of Nyla Ross and the Bikernet girls and our morale officer, Dr. Ladd Terry.

Let’s hit the news, I’m burnin’ daylight:

CRONIN BIKES BEING BUILT–THESE ARE DIGITAL PHOTOS OF THE PARTIALLY COMPLETED BIKES.AS DISCUSSED, THE BLACK RIGID FRAMED ONE IS TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED ON THIS FRIDAYTHE 27TH AT 12:30 P.M.THE BLACK SOFTAIL WITH PINK FLAMES IS TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED ON TUESDAY THE31ST OF JULY AT 10:30 A.M..WE WILL BE UNLOADED AND READY TO GO IN THE SIDE DOOR (HOPEFULLY IT WILL NOTBE RAINING) BY 12:30 P.M.

MY GOAL FOR THIS IS TO SIMPLY SHOW THE BEAUTY AND DETAIL OF THIS BIKE.IT TOOK JUST UNDER 3 YEARS TO COMPLETE.NEARLY EVERYTHING ON IT WAS CUSTOM FABRICATED BY THE BUILDER (JIM GUY OF JBCUSTOMS) AND AN EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT OF ENGINEERING AND DESIGN WAS USED INTHE PLANNING STAGE.

THE CONSTRUCTION IS WORLD CLASS AND SIMILAR BIKES DO NOT EXIST ANYWHERE.

–CRONIN
bcronin@idoa.state.in.us

CORAL RETURNS–Hi ya’ tall, tan and handsome!How’re things? I have been very well, thank you. Can hardly keep up withall the lovelies in my life. I still see Precious, I met a new girlfriend named Heather, Sin is as tasty as ever and I had a wild trystwith a hot little number while in a hotel the other night. Yummy! I wasdriving by your house this morning to see if you wanted a taste of me butjust as I pulled up, another girl got there seconds before me. I think itwas Layla. Shouldn’t she have been at work? Anyway, I waited for a longtime for her to leave. What were you two doing for sooooo long Bandito?!?!She walked out with such a glow I figured you’d be no good for me, so Iwent to Sin’s and she was delicious.

As I was saying, the other night while in a hotel, I met this stackedlittle cutie. We were drinking and dancing and when the bar closed, wewent back to my room. I went into the bathroom to change and wash up andwhile I was standing in front of the mirror naked, these hands came frombehind me and cupped my tits. I felt her press her naked body againstmine. I turned her around and sat her on the sink. I started at her kneewith my tongue and slowly slid it up her thigh, moving in as I got closerto her….. well, you know. I breathed heavy, hot breath on her…….well,you know. She was very excited. I used every inch of that room to…..well, you know.

You’re gonna have to come hang out with me one night Bandit, as if you’renot getting enough action of your own!

–Coral

PRODUCT OF THE WEEK–We receive constant requests for information about products, so we kicked off the product of the week with the Pimp Daddy bike-in-a-box kit from Chrome Specialties. You can find more info on the CSI site through the homepage of Bikernet.com. This is for you Miguel:

??Pimp Daddy? is the ultimate in retro cool! Patterned after abobbed 1948 Pan, we?ve put together all the essentials to help you build aclassic scoot that?ll never go out of style! White wall tires, widehandlebars, 88 cubic inch “Pan” demonium engine, 4-speed tranny, chromed springerfront-end and much more…..you?ll have a pimpin? ride with thisone….guaranteed!

Reminiscent of a stripped down ?48 Pan, we?ve assembled all the hard-to-findparts to build the ?Bobber? of your dreams! From the old-style floorboardsto the classic springerfront end, this bike?s got cool written all over it. Pimp Daddy is also available less engine andtranny as a rolling chassis kit.

?Pimp Daddy? Bike Kit includes:
* 88 cubic inch ?Pan? demonium engine and motor mounts. Complete with S&S Super?E? carb & Mallory Unilite distributor.(see page 10 for complete details).
* RevTech? 4-Speed kickstart tranny.
* Straight leg style rigid frame with Fat Bob tank mounts for chain reardrive. 2 inch stretch in down-tubes and 33 degree rake. (includes frame cups andheavy-duty bearings).
* Old style oval floorboards with weld-on tabs and brackets.
* Heavy-duty kickstand and bracket.
* FXST style shifter/brake kits with chrome rear master cylinder.
* 12V Bottom mount 6 1/2 inch headlight assembly withlowering block.
* Jammer stock length Springer with axle kit and fender.
* GMA billet dual-action front brake caliper, support bracket and mountinghardware.
* White Bros. 36-inch wide Bikini Beach Bars with 3-inch vintage risers, dual cablethrottle assembly and vintage grips.
* 21-inch chromed 40-spoke front wheel (single flange)with 90/90H X 21 inch Avon ?Venom-X? whitewall tire, rim stripand tube.
* 16-inch chromed 40-spoke rear wheel (dual flange) with 130/90HB X 16 inchAvon ?Venom-X? whitewall tire, rim strip, and rear axle kit.
* Motor Factory chromed 3 1/2 quart side-fill hex wrap-around oil tank.
* 3.5 gallon Fat Bob style gas tanks for screw-in type gas caps
* Chrome cateye dash kit complete with 1:1 ratio white-face speedo, mountingkit and ignition switch.
* 6-inch flat rear fender with chromed fender brace and 50?s styletaillight.
* Assorted hardware.

171034 ?Pimp Daddy? Bike Kit
Retail: $11,995
171030 ?Pimp Daddy? Rolling Chassis Kit
(Same as above less engine and tranny) Retail: $3,995

WEST BRANCH GEARS UP FOR HARLEY RIDERS–The quiet little town of West Branch, Mich., is about to get more than its share ofchrome, thundering engines and leather-clad out-of-towners. And mostresidents are happy to have them. Thousands of Harley-Davidson motorcycleowners will descend on West Branch, population 2,000, during the 18thannual Michigan Harley Owners Group Rendezvous rally at the Ogemaw CountyFairgrounds Friday through Sunday.”We welcome them,” said Steve Leonard, executive director of West BranchArea Chamber of Commerce. “It’s a major economic boost to our community.”Last year, about 13,000 people packed the Ogemaw County Fairgrounds for theH.O.G. event, which includes a parade and concerts.

Leonard said this year the number of tickets sold is being limited to7,500. Still, the rally will keep hotels, restaurants and stores busy allweekend.

“I’m booked right around five years in advance,” said Donna Dillon, managerof the Super 8 Motel in West Branch, about the H.O.G. weekend. When thefive hotels in West Branch fill up, bikers stay in Tawas area and HoughtonLake motels. West Branch City Manager Patrick McGinnis estimated the annualevent brings in more than $3 million to the city and community.

The biker image of a rowdy and unruly crowd hasn’t scared businesses orresidents, McGinnis said. “I think we’re very open and tolerant. Weunderstand people want to go out and enjoy themselves,” said McGinnis.”There’s very little negative feedback (from the community) generally,” hesaid.

OFFICER UNLAWFULLY CONFISCATES MOTORCYCLES–I received an e-mail from a friend about Sgt. Bob Kenney of theConnecticut Auto Theft Task Force, saying he is again facing disciplinaryaction for allegedly consficating seven motorcycles and lifts from a person inWoodbridge and not turning them in to the state police hold.

This is not the first time this has happened. Can you find out if there is more to this and what action is being takenagainst him, if any? Will you please let me know if you turn up any thing new? You can find an article I wrote about Trooper Kenny at BIKER ROGUE http://www.bikerrogue.com See PoliceSnatch A Bike Crews, which you can find through the search option.

–ROGUE

HELLS ANGELS BOUND FOR BRANSON–State and federal law officers are gearing up for what they hope will be alow-key visit to Branson next week by the Hells Angels. Up to 400 membersof the infamous motorcycle gang are expected to begin arriving as early asSunday for a week of meetings and fun. Law officers are calling it theAngels U.S.A. Run.

Hells Angels members could not be reached for comment Wednesday.

“I would think that like most of our visitors, they’re just here tovacation and relax and enjoy great entertainment,” theater spokeswoman Cindy Merry said.

She wonders who, exactly, are the Hells Angels. The name has evoked fearover the years. “Are they still active like that?”

–Rogue

Bikernet L.A. Calendar Show – Party Saturday Night–Non-stop.

LA CALENDAR BIKE SHOW HUGE SUCCESS–The 2001 edition of the Hot Bike Magazine Presents The White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show, sponsored by Performance Machine, The ReCycler/Cycle Buys newspapers, Bikernet.com and Hollywood Blond Beer, saw the continued growth of America’spremier outdoor custom and high performance streetbike event. Produced by Jim Gianatsis of the motorsports advertising design and photography agency Gianatsis Design, this year’s event at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach Harbor saw a continued 25 percent annual growth in exhibits and attendance over last year. This year’s expanded two-day format for the show was a huge success. There were one-day ticket sales of 4,800 on Saturday, 5,400 attendees on Sunday, plus 400 in two-day ticket sales, bringing the weekend’s daily totals in attendance to 11,000 hard-core streetbike fans.

The Calendar Bike Show offered bike fans two days of non- stop entertainment that included the White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout; Sunday’s Bike Show Contest for Customs, Sportbikes and Vintage Bikes: plus two great live bands -the all girl rockers Hojo and the hot salsa/rock headliner band Soto. Also included in the $15 admission price was free general admission to the historic Queen Mary ocean liner, normally a separate $15 admission charge to visitors. Plus on Saturday night, Bike Show attendees were treated to a free party with live jazz music in the Queen Mary’s Observation Room Bar hosted by Keith Ball’s Bandit’s BikerNet.com, with beautiful Bike Show announcer Brenda Fox. Together with a huge fireworks show over the Queen Mary and Long Beach Harbor at 9 p.m., it was a full weekend of great entertainment.

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Continued From Page 2

BANDIT DISCOVERS ULTIMATE STURGIS ROOM– Yes she comes with the room. We actually contacted Renee for a statement, “This is way too funny, cause the pic in Bikernet (Sunday Post in the Cantina) is when I had blackhair………..LOL!!!! My hair is blonde again. This is what I look like nowTell Bandit, I’ll be waiting.”

Rumor has it that Bandit left a week early for the Badlands.

FLAT TRACK WIN FOR H-D– Rich King helped put the magic in the MagicMile with a photo-finish victory at the AMA’s Progressive Insurance U.S.Flat Track Championships at the DuQuoin State Fairgrounds on Saturday night.”Rich had a fantastic race,” said Harley-Davidson Director of Marketing ArtGompper. “What a finish. He’s had a little bit of bad luck this year, andthis is a great place to turn the season around.”

King paced himself through the early stages of the race, but just as he hadplanned, surged to the front with about 10 laps remaining. He then led themajority of the last several laps in a constant dogfight with Ken CoolbethJr., Joe Kopp and series points leader Chris Carr. Coming out of turn fouron the last lap, King held a slim lead over Coolbeth Jr., but then the pairtore to the line seemingly neck and neck. After reviewing tape footage, AMAofficials found that King had won by mere inches.”We’d been struggling a little bit on set-up before the race, but we got itright, and it feels great to get this win,” said King, who had been nursingan injured ankle for the past few races. “I’ve lost races that close before- that’s what makes dirt track so exciting.”

HUMAN DISCOVERY–Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don’t believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye.

MISSING PERSONS–TIM CONDER IS FOUND–Thanks for the reply and I found his (Tim Conder’s) website linked toanother website. It is not only interesting how it is set up, but it isfunny as hell. You got to check it out. It is www.armageddontopfuel.comand you have to check out the heaven and hell seperately to find cool picsand stories.

–Thanks John

ABATE OF YUMA’S WEB SITE REPORT– The site has a bunch of pop-up advertising. I am not sure why the webmaster for this site set it up that way. I just “x” out of them and they go away. The picture in the lower left is of me at the Hog Rodeo. This page is what should have come up with the url I sent you. Thank you for your reply about putting this in the news section. Take Care.

Ride Free…..
Stich

TECH DISCOVERY– I’ve come up with a means to access the throttle thumbscrew with your right thumb. Like the Custom Chrome electric throttle lock, only my part cost’s $5.95 and doesn’t require any tools to install. The Klever Lever is a press fit piece that goes over the existing thumbscrew, extending past the throttle cables to allow easy access. There are pictures and descriptions on www.ForesthillProducts.com

NEW BIKERNET GIFT SHOP PRODUCTS–These are just a couple of product in a long line of new shit to come. We’re testing in an effort to bring you the products you want and shitcan the rest. Watch for these prints to be launched soon.

A motorcyclist for 45 years, the passion has not dimmed even to thisday. Starting out with a 1951 Cushman Eagle, and graduating to a 1947 Triumph Speed Twin, Larry, the artist, has had a succession of many Triumphs as well as other brands through the years. Collecting and restoring bikes in the 50’sand 60’s, he currently has 8 vintage machines gracing his garage. Being familiar with these machines, riding and portraying them in hispaintings, is what keeps him going today.

Larry started submitting cartoons as early as 1959 to motorcycle publications, and his first cartoon was published in the May 1959 issueof Floyd Clymer’s “Cycle” Magazine. He continued to be published in many issues from then on, including “Motorcyclist”, “Cycle World”, “Cycle News” and others.

LOS ANGELES CALENDAR BIKE SHOW THIS WEEKEND–Join us this coming weekend as we continue to grow as the biggest and best streetbike Show in America. We now have a record 120 major manufacturers, exhibitors, top custom bike builders and race teams jammed packed into the Queen Mary Park -up 25 from last year! Definitely making this the biggest outdoor streetbike Consumer Show in America.

The new 2-day expanded format will give more spectators the opportunity to visit us. To encourage people to join us on the new day, Saturday, there’s a Free Bikernet.com Party and fireworks show aboard the Queen Mary on Saturday night. Plus all day musical entertainment by the all-girl band Soho and the Las Vegas headliner band Soto with their unique blend of spicy Salsa and Rock. Both days, spectators will also get Free general admission to the Queen Mary, normally a separate $15 charge.

Additional added attractions include the latest new big bore Cruiser bikes from Yamaha and Honda, plus we’re expecting Honda to bring us their new “American Sports” concept sportbike unveiled last week at Laguna Seca. Plus the White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout both days.

And, of course, the Show is the premier of our 2002 FastDates.com Calendars with many of the beautiful calendar girls on hand to be photographed and personally autograph your calendar. Confirmed to attend are 40th Anniversary Playboy Playmate Anna Marie Goddard, SBK World Superbike trophy girls Brooke Johnson and Taylor McKegney, plus Perfect 10 cover girl and Temptation Island temptress Vanes Norms.

Because of the huge expected crowd, the Queen Mary’s main parking lot will be devoted just to spectator motorcycle parking, particularly on Sunday. Show spectators arriving by car will be directed to park at the nearby Long Beach Aquarium and Convention Center parking facilities, and then can ride the free city shuttle buses to the Event Park. So please allow a little additional time for car parking.Complete detail are online at http://www.FastDates.com

Don’t miss the Bikernet Party Saturday night on the Queen Mary from 8:30 to midnight with fireworks, live band and Bikernet door prizes. It’s open to the public, so come aboard.

See you at the LA Calendar Bike Show this weekend.We’re going to have a great time!

–Jim Gianatsis, Director

TEXAS POLICE REQUIRED TO TAKE BIKER SENSITIVITY TRAINING– Last month weregretfully reported Governor Rick Perry’s veto of an equal access bill inTexas that would have made it illegal to discriminate against motorcycleriders, in spite of an exceptional lobbying effort by the Texas MotorcycleRights Association (TMRA-II) and all four Confederations of Clubs in Texasthat won near-unanimous approval in the House and Senate.

Although Governor Perry gave no explanation in vetoing HB 259, he didmanage to sign into law another bill supported by the TMRA-II and the TexasConfederations of Clubs, HB 2585, which clarifies enforcement of the helmetlaw. It also requires sensitivity training for police officers.

”House Bill 2585 changes the way the Texas helmet law is enforced,”explained Sputnik, founder and chairman of the TMRA-II, ”so that if you arestopped for not wearing a helmet and show you are 21 or older and show proofof insurance or a Rider Ed card, the officer can not issue a citation for ahelmet law violation. This new law eliminates the need for a court todecide.”

In addition, HB 2585 requires that police officers take sensitivitytraining to stop profiling of riders and to make them aware of the newenforcement standards. They must record all traffic stops in categories toascertain whether bikers are being stopped disproportionately.

Section 4 of HB 2585 states, ”The Commission shall require educationand training on motorcycle operator profiling awareness and sensitivitytraining.”

So if you’re pulled over on your bike in the Lone Star State, don’tforget to ask the officer if he’s had his sensitivity training lately.

SPECIAL LICENSE PLATES PASSED FOR BIKER VETS IN NEW MEXICO Thanksto the staunch support and stalwart efforts of New Mexico StateRepresentative Rick Miera, veterans who ride will now have access tospecialty motorcycle license plates in New Mexico to commemorate theirservice to our country.? Miera was a motorcyclist and early member of ABATE before he launchedhis career in politics, and has been a blessing to New Mexico bikers sincetaking office. Earlier this year, Rep. Miera announced the repeal of NewMexico’s handlebar height law, through a bill he authored. He’s also anactive member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) LegislativeTask Force, along with other legislators such as U.S. Senator Ben NighthorseCampbell, Wisconsin State Senator Dave Zien, South Dakota State Senator JimPutnam, and others.???

In addition to the Vets plates, Miera also sponsored a separate billthat was signed into law to make specialty motorcycle license platesavailable to disabled riders.

Oh, and he’s committed to keeping New Mexico helmet-free too!

–NCOM NEWS & NOTES

Harley-Davidson’s new Buell rocket ship. See report on Bikernet home page.

?HARLEY-DAVIDSON MAKES A NAME FOR ITSELF– ?In a survey to determine themost recognizable brand names in America, Harley-Davidson rose from 10thplace to 5th place in this year?s polling. ????

CORPORATE BRANDING, a brand strategy and communications firm in NewYork, conducted 6,000 interviews during the annual survey to determine howfamiliar and favorable a company is viewed by senior business leaders. ?

???For the first time in three years, soft drink giant Coca-Cola lost itsfizz and fell into second place behind Microsoft Corp. ??

??Sure, but how many people have a computer tattooed on their body??

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR– A motorcycle enthusiast dropped dead ashe was being handed the keys to a Harley-Davidson he won in a raffle.?

The GERMAN BIKERS’ UNION said 47-year-old Hans Hitzig, suffered a heartattack in front of thousands of fellow bikers at the organization’s Jubileein Schleiz, eastern Germany. Hitzig?s winning ticket was drawn from 12,000entries to win the $7,400.00 motorcycle.

–From Bill Bish, aimncom@aimncom.com.

MORE NEWS FROM BADLANDS–Other news… they’ve gotten most of the south side of Interstate 90 done already. Most of you will probably remember the mess we had with only 1 side of the interstate open for 2-way traffic last year… maybe this year it’ll all be done before you get here! www.Sturgis-Rally.com

FILM UPDATE, CRITIQUE AND RECOMMENDATIONS–Bustin’ it on the keyboard. No movement on 1%er, though a giant German company seems to be initially interested. Got an old producer here named Robert Watts, did Star Wars 1,2,3, Indiana Jones 1,2, 3, Roger Rabbit, etc., who’s in love with it and trying to raise $30 mill to get it made. Lots of big names, no green yet. I’m working on getting heavy talent attatched.

Mainly focusing on the rewrites for Free Range for the production in London. It’s a paying option, rewrites and purchase price. That one is virtually a guaranteed greenlight purchase/production at this point and they seem to love everything I write for them.

Producing a feature comedy in Ecuador which I wrote and am Exec Producing. It’s coming along very well. Working with ICM to package talent, got an old time producer working on it with me. Got an offer to write another one for the London company, Random Harvest, paying gig. In Hollywood love is green.

Moulin Rouge is killer.
O Brother Where Art Thou? is absolutely incredible.
A.I. is all over the board, a Kubrick film made a mess by Spielberg’s issue-neutral yuppies.
Fast and the Furious is a joke.
Memento is outstanding.

–Agent Zebra

I’M GONE–Like a cool breeze. July 27th there’s a quirky auction of some of Jim Fueling’s collection of motorcycles and unusual vehicle in Ventura, California, check midamerica-auctions.com. I would love to be there, but I’ll be on my way to the Badlands.

Also, especially for Cantina members we’ve developed a strange and unusual department where we slip little known oddities about biking. There’s a painter featured there who will paint your oil filter to match your bike. Strange shit. The artist who created the above stainless steel sculptures is also featured in the Digital Discovery area in Bandit’s Cantina.

With that, Sin Wu is moody because of my leaving for the Badlands and my strange arrangements with various women from state to stay. Hell, I have to stay someplace, don’t I. Besides Dr. Hamster’s girlfriend is accompanying the good doctor, so I’ll be monitored the entire trip. Someone just told me that after 500 miles all bets are off. Is that really a rule? Let’s ride, we’re burnin’ daylight.–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

EASYRIDERS INC. ANNOUNCES CHAPTER 11 FILING–Easyriders Inc. today announced that the public holding company, Easyriders Inc., and its principal operating subsidiary, Paisano Publications Inc. (collectively “Easyriders”) have filed voluntary petitions for relief under Chapter 11 of the United States Bankruptcy Code in the United States Bankruptcy Court for the Central District of California, San Fernando Valley Division.

The bankruptcy court filings were prompted by various repayment demands and other disputes that Easyriders was having with its primary secured lender, Nomura Holding America Inc. (“Nomura”).

Notwithstanding these disputes, the parties entered into a cash collateral stipulation prior to Easyriders’ bankruptcy filings, which will enable Easyriders to continue to operate in the ordinary course of business and pay all necessary operating expenses. Easyriders intends to seek emergency Bankruptcy Court approval of its cash collateral stipulation with Nomura.

Easyriders plans to emerge from their Chapter 11 cases with a comprehensive restructuring of all of their debt. With Nomura’s consent, Easyriders has engaged the Westlake Village-based investment banking firm of Murphy Noel Capital to provide financial advisory services to them and to assist them in connection with their debt restructuring.

Read recently the following in the business section of the L.A. Times about Clive Davis formerly of Arista Records–“People forget what this business is about. Raw talent. Great songs. Hip artists. All anybody seems to care about now is numbers. The fact is you can’t make numbers without creativity.”

I wish Easyriders continued luck and success for the staff and the shareholders who believed in the brand.–Bandit

Teamwork.

STURGIS ALERT–On some of the bulletin boards there is talk of groups of more than 4patch holders being pulled over in SD…some bullshit new law…FYI..later-

–TRAIN

STURGIS BIKE RALLY NEWS– Wanted to know if you might be able to help me regarding the Sturgis Rally held in August. I want to rent out my cabin. It’s an historic log cabin on 4 acres outside of Deadwood in the Black Hills. It is about 20-25 minutes from Sturgis along Hwy. 385.

I have finally gotten the place fixed up and am rather late getting it rented out during the rally. It sleeps 4-8 comfortably, has a fully stocked kitchen, TV, stereo and is in a beautiful meadow that joins 104 acres of parkland. Deer and a small trout stream out front make this an idea location for privacy and relaxation.

Do you know of anyone who might be interested in renting it for the August 4-14th rally? There may also be 1-2 camper trailers available for rent on the property for larger groups.

— Thanks for your help.
Nanci Vold
Phone- 650.528.4258
nvold@goldstate.net

WANTED, ’57 STRAIGHT LEG RIGID–I’m looking for a ’57 straight leg rigid to put my ’67 shovel 84″ motor in.

Want to rake the neck 3/4″ don’t know how many degrees that would be..to run a old style 12″ over Harley springer. I’d like to find one of the original early 70’s Performance Machine 15″ rear wheels for this build. I haven’t been in the South Bay in awhile, is Walker’s Engine and frame works still out there in Torrance ? Any help would be appreciated.

–“TEA Ball, Michael”

Bandit and Miss Beach Ride 2001.

VENTURA, CALIFORNIA BEACH RIDE A SUCCESS–Well, we went and did it again. Beach Ride 10. It seemed like the year would never end and that July 15 would never get here. Yet now it seems to swept by in a blur. I don’t know any of the results yet and all of us will be getting an official report at the rap up meeting. Time and date will be announced as soon as possible. It certainly seemed to me that our attendance was up. I am expecting this to have been our best event.

Congratulations on your hard work for the Exceptional Children’s Foundation. Your efforts were extraordinary and your dedication throughout this past year showed.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

Steve Romero
Committee Chairman

BEACH RIDE CONTINUED–

Thank you all! Your determination, passion, hard work and big hearts assuredthat Beach Ride 10 was the most successful ever! ECF is truly blessed to havesuch awesome support. I too am blessed to work with all of you, and for yourfriendship and support. We’re planning a little get-together here soon aswell as a follow-up critique meeting.I was thinking of renaming ourselves right after the event –EXHAUSTED MC ?

Kia Andersson – L.A Chapter Secretary

ARTHRITIS–ArthritisAn old geezer in an old people’s home takes a fancy to a woman who is also staying there. One day he plucks up the courage to go and talk to her and after a while he says he would like to make love to her. She agrees thatwhen everybody else goes on a day trip they both stay behind at the homeandget down to it.

The old man goes to the woman’s room and asks her how she likes to be madelove to. She tells him that she loves a man to go down on her and asks himif he would mind. He says he would love to do that for her and goes for it.

After about 30 secs he comes back up and says that he is sorry but it justsmells too bad down there. She thinks for a minute and tells him that itmust be the arthritis. He looks at her confused and states that surely youcan’t get arthritis down there and even if you could it wouldn’t cause thatsmell.

She says “No it’s the arthritis in my shoulder, I can’t wipe my ass!”

KILLER ENGINES–AS MENTIONED BEFORE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE THESE (2) 139 CUBIC INCHERS OUT ATSTURGIS.WE ARE ARRIVING LATE ON SATURDAY THE 4TH AND LEAVING ON FRIDAY THE 1OTH. WE ARE ATTEMPTING TO GET A ROOM IN THE SPEARFISH AREA BUT HAVE NOT BEENSUCCESSFUL YET.IF WE CAN’T, WE WILL PROBABLY JUST FIND A ROOM IN SUNDANCE ONCE WE ARRIVE.

POSSIBLY WE CAN MEET ONE MORNING FOR BREAKFAST AND YOU CAN CHECK THESE OUT.IF INTERESTED LET ME KNOW.

–CRONIN

Let’s try to hook up.–Bandit

SPEED WEEK PHOTO EXHIBIT–Just in time for Speedweek this year will be my new Bonneville “photo show” CD-Rom for computers.

A collection of more than 100 images taken from my book, Bonneville Salt Flats, as well as shots from my private collection, the CD allows full-screen viewing of images in a slide show format.

Not just a “screen saver”, this product gives you a dynamic, revolving photo show of roadsters, lakesters, streamliners, motorcycles, trucks, cars from 1914 through present day.

Take a peek at the cover by logging onto: http://www.scenesaver.com/bonneville/

Catch me during?the book signings in the lobby of?the State Line Hotel and Casino Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. You may also find me Monday night during the FREE SAE presentation of “How to build the World’s Fastest Car”?with ThrustSSC engineer Glynne Bowsher at the State Line’s Bonneville Room banquet facility. Or catch up with me on the salt — look for the?pewter-colored Hummer!

Speedy Regards,
“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth

THE VARIED AND BIZARRE–An esoteric collection of some of the shit that I receive via e-maileveryday! Like I don’t have enough stuff to read!!!!!! BTW – I’ve beenspending a shit load of time out in SoCal, but mostly in Ventura andB’Field, not much time down south. My oldest son graduates USN BasicTraining at Great Lakes on August 3rd and my youngest graduates USMC Basicon August 31st in San Diego. A fuckin squid and jarhead home atChristmas!!!!!!! What’s a father to do?

More info, the Brothers Fast M/C in Denver re-patched to HA a couple ofmonths ago. Presently going through their probationary period. It has thevarious law enforcement communities all up in arms, plus I understand thatthe Bandidos and the Sons of Silence are pretty much staying out of it. Itwas good to see the Red and White represented at the All Harley Drags inJune.

The web-site is kicking ass and you’ve had some good articles on it lately.You ought to do a feature on Liberator Motorcycles, they are based here inDenver and they do offer some cool scoots.

Ride Hard………..
Gunracer <>

THE BLONDE One day a blonde decides that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, “Yes, just really hot and tired”.

He asks, “Well, what are you doing?” She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asked her, “Why the hell do you have a ski jacket on over a fur coat?” She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said….

FOR BEST RESULTS PUT ON TWO COATS !!!!!

HARLEY-DAVIDSON EXPANSION– Harley-Davidson Inc. plans to add 275 new positions at it’s YorkCounty plant as part of a $145 million expansion of the facility. The new workers will join the 3,000 workers already at the plant. The Milwaukee-based company has been producing motorcycles in York since1973.

The new plans call for a 350,000-addition to the current 1.2million-square-foot facility. The plant manufactures several Harley-Davidson motorcycle models,as well ascurrent and non-current replacement parts. The state will provide the company a 9.4 million financial package ofgrants and tax credits to support the planned expansion.

BANDIT’S CANTINA DOOR PRIZES–If you join the Cantina one of the benefits is a regular door prize drawing with a twist. We ask what the contestants want to win. If we happed to have their dream gift it’s theirs. Of course if they ask for a big-titted redhead, they don’t get shit. I get all the redheads. Just for your entertainment here’s a couple of the unlucky requests:

“An evening of romance with Lawless Lorraine, but I’ll take a leather vest.”
Jesse Russell
Apex, NC

“I would like to win and it better be fucking good.”
Keith Wahl
Saline, MI

1. The complete collection of Keith Ball’s books autographed.
2. Harley in a basket.
3. A Bikernt T-shirt & patch.
4. A divorce from that dirty rotten bastard.
Miss BB Free
Huntington Beach, CA

“A Harley tank top to show off my tits!”
Kim Dunn
Pleasant Hill, CA

We’re working on this prize–

“A Bandit Bed Roll or a T-shirt you cheap bastards!”
Scott Armstrong
Kenwood, CA

“Give me a free book. PLEASE!!!!! The new one, Mr. Orwell. I bet it is a kick-ass book. The other ones were awesome! Fuck the world…….C-YA in HELL!
Keith Murray
Mechanicville, New Fuckin’ York

PUB GUY– A guy walked into a pub and immediately noticed a young lady at the bar on her own. After a couple of drinks he decided to offer her a drink and make small talk. She accepted.

“What’s your name?” he asked her.

“Carmen,” she replied.

“That’s a nice name. Did your mother or father name you that?”

“Neither. I changed my name when I was eighteen from Linda to Carmen.”

“Why did you do that?” he asked.

“Well,” she explained, “I like men and I like cars, so that is how I got my name. What’s your name?”

“Beerpussy,” the man replied.

Here is a photo actually taken at the US/Mexico border. They caught this guy trying to be smuggled into the U.S.

Continued On Page 3

Revised Sturgis Billboard after the censorship board finished with us.

Hell, it’s been bananas around here. The Los Angeles Calendar Show is this weekend and while I’m trying to take care of business, the girls are crazy with preparations and demands on me to sign books for the show. Hell, I’m still tweaking the Buell, packing for Charlotte, preping for Sturgis, writing for HORSE, finishing an interview of Bob Kay the boss of Biker’s Choice for Hot Rod Bikes and negotiating with the evil king of Cruising Rider for the rights to ride through his home town of Sedona to get to the badlands. He’s a stickler.

There’s this girl ya see in Charlotte nick-named “Meanest” who is going to meet me at the airport. I’m not sure what to expect. It’s a charity event right. If you’re in the neighborhood, stop by Charlotte H-D this weekend, I may need back-up. Let’s pound into the news, there’s a lot going on…

BUBBA BENEFIT–Patrick William Ellis, III aka ?BUBBA? was 23 years old and he was dying of a rare type of cancer called Rhabdomyasarcoma. The pain was intense and the doctor bills high. In an effort to help him and his family a benefit was held at the B.C.C. Pavilion in Melbourne Florida on Saturday July 14th 2001.

A lot of people put in an awful lot of time and effort to make this event a success. The list of sponsors, organization and clubs is to long to put here but you all know who you are and so do we.

Every one that I have talked to has said the event went off very well and they had a good time. We were able to raise $20,000.00 to help the family.

I would like to join the Ellis Family in thanking all that helped put this event on and also those that attended.

–ROGUE

Watch for full coverage of the event on Bikernet shortly.–Bandit

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Hell is a cool place compared to this past few days.The bikes are finally on their way to Florida, after many nights turninginto mornings. Yep ,it’s a ton of work but well worth it, just to enjoy afew days of riding in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Some of thehighlights was tearing apart a motor, and putting it back together in anight, some slight problem with bent valves and pushrods looking likearches, anyway the bike fired at the second try and was promptly loadedinto the trailer.

Placing twelve long choppers on a trailer is no easytask, loading all the stuff for the trip seems to be a never ending projecteven to the last minute before getting the whole rig in the barge, we stillhave stuff to take to Sturgis, and so will always be.

Last Sunday the doctors and family decided to unplug our friend (the onewho had the accident in OK), their last hope was gone. To the amazement ofall Cucho refused to go, and started getting better, hints of a recoupstarted showing right away.

I believe there is a higher power watching overus, call it any name you want. He was 95 % brain dead, and in coma forthree weeks, how hard is to get back from that? I know it’s almostunbelievable, but that is the way it is. There will be an organized ride to gather funds for hisbetterment soon. I’m not asking for money, but at least some messages wishingCucho well, will be passed along. (demiguel@compuserve.com)

Bourget’s Bike Works of Arizona has a new model, they will be called EX andEXP. This will be their patented oil in the frame bikes in regular orchopper style. With an H-D Evo motor and the rest of the usual BBW goodies, thebikes will be in the $23 thou and less range. We have two on the way andwill feature in the near future.

Caribbean Custom Cycles became the exclusive dealer for BMC choppers in theCaribbean, this cool rigid chopper come in two models, the 988 with a TC 88motor and the 918 with a Revtech 100 Evo. Check Bigmikeschoppers.com formore info, MSRP is $20,000.00. A new Softail model and 250 rigid are on theway. They’re solid inexpensive, well made bikes, and our first order wasdone in a week! That’s having your shit together.

The Dia del Harlista in Hatillo took place last Sunday, thousands of Harleyfanatics from all over the island enjoyed a whole day of bike oggling,music and vendors. The organizers raffled two Sportsters 883’s.Of course we could not attend, we were getting the damn trailer ready ! Sothe WCC will have it’s debut some other time.

I’m glad to report that some 5-balls rolled their way into our shop, andwill be passed along to Bandit, I know it’s been a few weeks since some barowners reported their balls missing, (I mean pool balls), but I guess theones we found are not related to the above mentioned events, and I’m sticking tothat story. They did not look like the 5-balls in the milk cartons.Only a couple weeks before we can roam the roads of the Black Hills, nowit’s time to rest (yeah right) till its time to hit the US highways on ourjourney to South Dakota, leave the lids in Puerto Rico and enjoy the crisprides through Spearfish Canyon. Like I said , if you see a bunch of chopperswith Puerto Rico plates come over and say hello, we will be around, Hellyeah !!

–Jose, Bikernet Caribbean overworked correspondent

DA NEW CHOPPA–A guy bought a new 113″ choppa and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening cruise. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. Confident he could outrun the police car, be began to twist the throttle. The needle hit 80,100,120 and finally 140 with the lights still behind him.

“What am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the bike.

“I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before you can go.”

The ride scratched his head and thought for a moment, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the biker said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

“Have a nice night,” said the officer.

–Geno, HORSE Magazine

THUNDER OVER DIXIE REPORT–Hey Dixie Riders! We’ve been having problems with the postal service that’s driving us nucking futs! (no that’s spelled correctly…don’t get offended!)

We’re choosing about 2 dozen of you to get your paper three different ways. Over the next couple of months we’re going to be testing to see which is the best way for us and you. In the meantime…if you don’t get an issue by the 10th of the month, call us and we’ll send it again, first class.

Also, please let us know what’s happening in your neck of the woods…Remember each month we pick someone who entered their local event in our calendar at www.dixierider.com/calendar/ and send them a t-shirt free! So enter your event today!

RUSTY’S FORUM–Rusty an Orange County Hells Angel currently incarcerated for conspiracy is interviewed on Bikernet. Check it out. Intersection read that make you think of Sam “Chopper” Orwell and the future of freedom.

“Here’s a link to Rusty’s site for more information.www.rustysforum.com We take bikers rights to the next level.Bikernet?rocks, The Cantina kicks ass, HardTail as a download is a dandy also. A computer network with an?early Easyriders magazine heart.”?

–Respectfully, Bill?

EASYRIDERS BANKRUPT–Oh NOOOOOOOOO-what happens to our stock-NOW——can’t say that we didn’t seeit coming, but damn. ?How long do you think they will keep publishing? ?Notgoing to the drag races for a while, finally figured out that I’m probably abetter spectator thanpolitician.

–M.L>

NEW BDL “TOP FUEL STREET DRIVE”– The all new 14MM by 85MM wide (3 3/8-inch) belt is the same as the top fuel racers use on the 600-plus horsepower top fuel drag machines. The newly designed kevlar clutch consists of Nine 6 3/8-inch diameter friction plates and 11 steels and they put the power where it needs to be. BDL special pressure plates use up to 9 springs for varying pressure to accommodate any size motor on the market. The all new hub is made from 7075 aluminum then hard anodized for superior strength and reliability. They offer 2 kits, both are designed for oil filter mounting in the motor plate.

The TF-1000 is the complete drive with side guard. The TF-2000 is the complete drive with outboard bearing support. The support plate is reversible. The back side is channeled for another distinctive look, however just the flat side is polished. Find out where to get this new hot drive on the BDL site here.

FBI BLOWS IT AGAIN–By JESSE HOLLAND. In a fresh embarrassment to the FBI, officials saidTuesday that 184 laptop computers – at least one containing classifiedmaterial – are missing from the agency, along with 449 weapons.The missing laptops include 13 that are thought to have been stolen. One ofthe missing computers is known to contain classified material and threeothers might have classified material, said officials from the JusticeDepartment and FBI, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

They said 184 weapons were stolen and 265 were lost. One was used in ahomicide. The weapons mostly are sidearms, but some submachine guns are alsomissing.

The disclosure came on the eve of an FBI oversight hearing on Capitol Hillatwhich bureau whistle blowers were scheduled to testify. The FBI has beenunderfire for a series of missteps going back years, including the failure toprovide thousands of documents to Timothy McVeigh’s lawyers, the RobertHanssen spy case, the Branch Davidian and Ruby Ridge standoffs and thebotched investigation of former nuclear scientists Wen Ho Lee.

TUNES ON BIKERNET– Yep, that’s right we will have a report on Big Mike Griffin’s new CD on Bikernet before I go to Sturgis, if I’m lucky. Mike’s entertainment schedule will be posted also. He’s now the Spokesman for the Living Large clothing line for Chrome Specialties. The bike he’s straddling was built for him by the guys at Chrome Specialties.

BB is working on a report on DAGO’s CD to be launched in the next week. If you don’t watch out we’ll have music clips in the near future.

COP INVESTIGATED FOR CONFISCATING MOTORCYCLES– I am sure this is the same Cop and he has been doing this for 30 years.Heeven travels to events around the country to confiscate bikes.

While I was in Connecticut and Running the Connecticut Motorcycle RightsOrganization I was contacted by Schietinger Harley-Davidson in BridgeportConnecticut about a motorcycle that they had rebuilt out of 2 old PoliceBikes and sold to one of the Hells Angels.

Kenney confiscated the bike because a Hells Angel was riding it. Thedealership went to court and I filed charges against Kenney. In no time at all I was stopped and my bike confiscated. I fought it andeventually got the bike back. It got real ugly with him coming to my houseand me going after him with a gun.

He eventually got transferred out of the area but got back into it shortlyafter I moved to Florida and no one was keeping a eye on him.

This must stop. How about a line or two on Bikernet asking if any one has had a badexperience with cops illegally confiscating bikes. Especially interested In Connecticut State Trooper Bob Kenney. Request Facts, Names Dates, Disposition of case, What happened to bikes? Whoended up with them?

Looking for information to show that certain individuals are using theirposition in law enforcement to confiscate motorcycle for their own personalgain. Are they living above their means, fancy houses, toys, trips, cars etc.

There are a lot of eyes out there. Put a Stop To Dirty Cops ConfiscatingMotorcycles.

— ROGUE

CHARLOTTE H-D RUN FOR BREATH– I asked “THE MEANEST” to send you an update on the run and her reply was “I am not sending shit”! Well with that I took upon myself to send it. She is in one of those moods. She said she was only kidding, but I didn’t want to take a chance of making her mad before the run, she didn’t get that nickname for nothing!

Everything is set to go for Sunday. The door prizes are tagged. we have over 100. I have arranged for you to ride an American Eagle bike while you are here. The weather forecast for Sunday is perfect, 88 degrees and sunny. We are going to Buffalo’s tonight to deliver the door prizes and pass out flyers one last time. It seems like all the hard work and long hours are about to pay off. We will see you Saturday!

–Mike Pullin, Charlotte H-D

Continued On Page 2

Continued from Page 2

HORSE STAFF MEMBER BECOMES RICH NEW RIDER–I just picked up a one-owner ’87 Softail custom to re-do HORSE style. It’s obvious that most of our readers lust for rigids but have Softys in the garage, so why not do a low buck but cool Softy project?

Billy and maybe Jesse is gonna help me with sheet metal/fab. And I’d like to get a set of those fat Samson shotguns.

–Geno

I thought you guys hated anyone who rode an Evo.

NOBLES TAKES SECOND IN EMOTIONAL BUELL PRO THUNDER AT LAGUNA–A week after his father passed away, TilleyH-D/Buell’s Tripp Nobles finished second in an emotional Buell Pro Thunderrace at Laguna Seca Raceway on Friday. It was Nobles’ first AMA podiumfinish in three years, and kept Buell racers streak of five straight podiumsalive and well.

“I wasn’t sure if I could race this weekend, but my family encouraged me totry, and my team gave me a lot of support,” said Nobles.Nobles, who qualified on the front row, started slowly, but received asecond chance when a crash brought out the flag and a restart.”We changed a few things on set-up during the break, and Don Tilley helpedme concentrate on the areas of the track where they were beating me,” saidNobles, who ran strong off the restart and took over first when teammate

David Estok suffered a mechanical problem.Thomas Montano, riding on his home track, eventually passed Nobles for firstin the Laguna Seca corkscrew. Nobles held on to second, while Dean Mizdalfinished third.”It’s frustrating when you have a lead and it gets away, but it’s a greatfeeling to be back on the podium, especially this weekend,” said Nobles.”The Buell ran strong and the team did a great job.”

Hal’s H-D Buell rider Mike Ciccotto, racing with a fractured wrist from aweek ago, finished a courageous fourth and is second in overall seriespoints to Montano.”Overall, it was a very good weekend for Buell, with Tripp second, Mikefourth while nursing a sore wrist, and Dave running in the lead until havingvery minor clutch difficulty,” said Buell Race Manager Henry Duga.

THE MOTHER WITH THREE VIRGINS–A mother had three virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but “Nescafe.” Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: “Good till the last drop.” Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: “Benson & Hedges.” Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: “Extra Long. King Size”. She was again slightly embarrassed, but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by, and still, nothing. Then, after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it, in shaky handwriting, were the words: “British Airways”. Mom took out her latest Harper’s Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages, fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for the airline. The ad said: “Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”

Mom fainted.

–from Rogue

GOLD STAR MOTHERS–Gold Star Mothers is an organization made up of women whose sons were killed in military combat during service in the United States armed forces. Recently a delegation of New York State Gold Star Mothers made a trip to Washington, D.C., to discuss various concerns with their elected representatives.

According to NewsMax.com, there was only one politician in D.C. who refused to meet with these ladies. Can you guess which politician that might be?

Was it New York Senator Charles Schumer? Nope, he met with them.

Try again. Do you know anyone serving in the Senate who has never showed anything but contempt for our military? Do you happen to know the name of any politician in Washington whose husband once wrote of his loathing of the military?

Now you’re getting warm! You got it! None other than the Queen herself, The Hildebeast, Hillary Clinton. She refused repeated requests to meet with the Gold Star Mothers.

Now — please don’t tell me you’re surprised. This woman wants to be president of the United States — and there is a huge percentage of the voters who are anxious to help her achieve that.

–Rogue

BIKERNET DRAG RACING CORRESPONDENT-HELEN WOLFE–This was taken at Downtown Harley before we got home from the Denver Race. JW Everitt has a “Cheeta” bike I would like to do a little report on. I’ll use his info sheet he gave me. I got a signed poster, CD and single song video tape of him playing “Leopard’s Lament” on guitar. I took a couple pictures of his bike at Downtown too.

The bike in the picture was custom made for a lady who decided she didn’t like it. Check out the drag racing coverage. We’ve made more changes. It’s hot!

MO’ NEWS FROM THE BADLANDS–Big push this year to check registration and insurance, HINT, put your titleand insurance card in Zip-lock and have on bike at all times, this will saveyou a huge hassle if you are one of the lucky ones that gets stopped.

With the new road in Boulder Canyon, it’s tempting to let it go fast, but thespeed limit is 55 mph. Radar will be set up through the canyon.

–BobIllingworth

STURGIS ROOM AVAILABLE–There is another room available in SPEARFISH at the BEST WESTERN. The room isa double (two queen size beds), easy location, great rooms, pool, laundryfacilities, great bike parking, within walking distance to the bars, whatmore do ya need?!!

Anyway, the cost is $872 for Saturday through Thursday. Call DOMINICK as soon as possible if you’re interested or know someone in needof a room. Dominick’s number is (310) 399-3259. Leave a message if he doesn’tanswer. Spread the word!!!

–Patty

HARLEY-DAVIDSON 100TH–For those of you who can’t take a month off work but want your bikeat the 100th anniversary, this will only take a couple of weeks and isprobably way cheaper than riding over…dan

The new Web site is up and running. As mentioned before, KING 5 isshutting down theHome Team Community as of July 20. Until then, we have two sites.

The new URL is http://mytown.koz.com/community/nrra

BEACH RIDE THIS WEEKEND–If you live in Southern California, don’t miss the Beach Ride this coming Sunday. They have the best bands of any biker event around. Don’t miss it!

THE VANISHING TATTOO–Documentary TV series “The Vanishing Tattoo” makes its marktoday withcoverage inUSA Today:http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/

Vancouver, British Columbia – With over 10 million hits per month to its Web site, “TheVanishing Tattoo,” a television documentary series chronicling thehistory ofthe origins of tattooing, is finally getting due recognition today withafeature piece running in USA Today. “Tattoos leave indelibleimpressions” byAnn Oldenburg quotes Producer Vince Hemingson extensively in her articleontattooing among celebrities in the Life Section of this Friday’s (July6,2001) Weekend Edition of USA Today.

Tattoos…We’ve practiced indelible body art since the dawn of time. Launched Sept. 6, 1999, “The Vanishing Tattoo,” a 13-part half-hourtelevision documentary series, looks at the incredible history, powerfulrituals and extraordinary social significance of tribal tattooing inmanydifferent cultures around the world through the eyes of renownedCanadiantattoo artist Thomas Lockhart and Vancouver filmmaker and tattooenthusiastVincent Errol Hemingson.

–Dan

MO’ ON THE BLACK HILLS RALLY–Seems everyone is anxious to get the low down on the roads around the Sturgisarea for bike week. Well I put in a message to our friend Bob Illingworthout there and he responded with some great information! Looks like we’ll havesome nice roads to ride on with very little, if any, construction!!! Yipee!

1- Vanocker Canyon Road all open, no problems, great ride
2- Spearfish Canyon Drive all open, no problems, still a great ride
3- Boulder Canyon all open, no construction, all paved, great ride
4- Cheyenne Crossing to Deadwood and through O’neil Pass, everything is super
5- I-90 construction will be completed by rally time with the exception ofthe area around Rapid City. Short delays, if any.
6- Belle Fouch to Devils Tower via Highway 34, construction will cease duringthe rally; 6 miles of hard packed base fill to accommodate bikers
To check on the highways on your way to South Dakota or in South Dakota,please click on this link and put in the destinations. It’ll give ya everykind of construction report you want! Rand McNally – Plan a Trip

–Patty

FREE INSURANCE QUOTES–And road service protection for long run. Check it out.

STRANGE GUN LAWS–H.R. 123 (Barr): This bill would prohibit a federal or state action againsta firearms manufacturer or seller for criminal actions committed by thirdparties using their firearms.

H.R. 139 (Nadler): This bill would provide for a 15 percent increase in somefederalcrime funds to any state which implemented an approved handgun registrationprogram.

H.R. 215 (Towns): This bill would require the Consumer Product SafetyCommissionto ban any toy which resembles a handgun.

For more information contact: Chris W. Stark – Director
P.O. Box 1924
Crosby, Texas 77532-1924
Ph. 1-713-202-9548 Fax 1-810-283-7459
http://www.GOA-Texas.org
email: Director@GOA-Texas.org

QUOTE FOR THE DAY–I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for thegreat ordeal of meeting me is another matter. –Winston Churchill

THE WHINER CONTINUES–He may be back Sunday (I hope to hell he does the Post), but thenhe?s off again to South Carolina. And that leaves me and a bunch of weepingwomen to pick up the pieces, to pick up the pace, to pick our asses up off theground and put this Web site together.

Holy horse shit, we?re doomed, he?s locked up the liquor. I just realized that when the Bandit?s in Carolina (the state andprobably some filly of the same name), we?ve got to put together theBikernet/Calendar Bike Show at the Queen Mary July 21-22.

Maybe I canget mugged comin? outta Harolds Bar on Pacific Avenue in Pedro. Somebody put meout of my misery. There?s going to be a mutiny for sure. That Sin Wu willkick the shit outta everybody. Let’s ride–NuttBoy.

Continued from Page 1

CANTINA OFFER–Every 10th rider to join Bandit’s Cantina receives a signed copy of Bandit’s latest book “Sam ‘Chopper’ Orwell”. Here’s the latest winner:

Phillip Babcock
Lantana, Fla.

BIKERNET BIKESHOW WINNER–I just got in from California. I took my wife down to Mexico cancer treatmentplace, which was a scam, American Biologics of Mexico. They really dxed her, nowshe’s going into liver failure. Winning this bike show thing was a brightspot for us in the midst of the struggle of our lives, and thank you if youcould put out the info for other brothers not to buy into this cancer place.It’s in Tijuana, Mexico. I would be very grateful, and thanks again for the proudsmile we’re wearing.

–Paul Gendron

PS. My wife is 31 and got breast cancer at 28. It went toliver, lungs and bones. Terminal so we bought into the Mexico gig

DONT LETTHIS HAPPEN TO YOU OR LOVED ONES!

Our hearts go out to you and your wife. Keep the faith that you’ll find a way and make every hour count.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON VR TEAM CONTINUES REBUILDING FOCUS– Harley-Davidson VR 1000 riders Pascal Picotteand Mike Smith finished ninth and 10th respectively in the eighth round ofthe AMA Superbike Series held at Laguna Seca Raceway on Saturday.”The weekend went well, but we still have a long ways to go.

The team andriders continue to work around some of the bike’s deficiencies, and arelooking toward new improvements the engineering team is addressing,” saidHarley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker. “The kind of improvementneeded takes time, but I’m pleased with our progress.”Picotte and Smith, who qualified 12th and 13th, ran strong throughout therace, with Picotte locked in a race-long battle with Yamaha’s Tommy Hayden.Smith moved into 10th midway through, and held that position to the end.”I’m happy with our finish,” said Smith. “We’re not that far away – I wasmatching the leaders in several areas of the track, such as exit speed outof the corners, and even horsepower seemed close.”

Privateer VR rider Jordan Szoke finished 11th for the Austin/Blue Bayou H-Dracing team, earning top finishing privateer honors once again.”Jordan is having a very good year as the top privateer in the series,” saidBaker. “We’re proud of that team’s efforts and will continue to activelysupport them.”

Kawasaki’s Eric Bostrom finished first, Honda’s Miguel Duhamel grabbedsecond and Suzuki’s Mat Mladin took third.Harley-Davidson’s VR Team will return to action July 20-22 as the AMASuperbike Series heads to Lexington, Ohio, for a double-header.

EROTIC HOME REMEDIES–A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man isn’t sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He can’t believe that he’s seeing what he’s seeing.

A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.

The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, “Three times you’ve sneezed, and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped it between your legs! What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?”

The woman replies, “I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. I have a rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”

The man, now feeling badly, says, “Oh, I’m sorry. What are you taking for it?”

The woman looks at him with a coy smile and says, “Pepper.”

–I. Evans

BANDIT’S CANTINA DOOR PRIZES–We pull a door prize for a Bandit’s Cantina member once a week for valuable prizes or junk. But the twist to this program is that you can make a wish, and if we can fill it, goddamnit we will. The wishes reach off-the-wall proportions at times, like the following: “You need to send a prayer from Bandit and a signed copy of Orwell to:

Steve Wilson,
Glenwood Springs

You got it Steve. We’ll take care of you. Next week we’ll run more of these requests.

BANDIT RECEIVES UNMARKED PACKAGE–UPS recently arrived with a small package. Bandit opened it and discovered an old 45 record by the Arrows. Prepared to find a record player and play it backwards to retrieve the satanic message, he discovered that one side had the “Blues” theme, which is the title cut from the “Wild Angels” movie. Peter Fonda and Bruce Dern are in it. There are some old shots of Pedro in it also. “BongoParty” on the other side speaks for itself. The Arrows were a cool band for the time.

This little trinket from Paul at Charlotte H-D will be framed and become a valuable part of the Bandit Museum.

TWO COUPLES–Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife wasn’t wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Johnhit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill’s wife followed him and asked, “Did you see anything that you liked under there?”

John admitted that, well, yes, he did.

She said “You can have it, but it will cost you $100.” After aminute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn’t, John should come to herhouse around 2 p.m. on Friday. Friday came and John went to her house at 2 p.m. After payingher $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex and then John left.

Bill came home about 6 p.m. He asked his wife, “Did John come by this afternoon?”

Reluctantly, she replied, “Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.”

Next Bill asked, “Did John give you $100?” She thinks, “Oh hell, he knows.” Finally she says, “Well, yes…he did give me $100.”

“Good,” Bill says. “John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.”

Caribbean Custom Cycles rigid comin’ together on Bikernet. Check the Garage.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–While reading the feature on the WCC bike I sort of sounded like I wasbitching too much. My purpose was to make sure Bikernet.com readersknew exactly what to expect of the parts ordered, and avoid frustrationwhen you buy these parts.

I’m glad to say that the sprocket spacers arefinally exact, the powdercoaters did their job and the bike is rolling onits own. I will send the photos as soon as I can, know all we’ve got left isdetails, even though the bike will take a break since we are loading up forthe trip to Sturgis. Hell seems like a nice option compared to what weexpect this coming week (We have to ship by the 19th. The trailer,paperwork and bikes have to be in the docks by the 17th.) Anyway, it’s thatSturgis time again and I’m sure we are not the only ones who will havedreadful deadlines. Hope you liked the WCC bike. Make sure to log in forsome new stuff coming from the balmy shores of Puerto Rico. And now to thevery limited news this week.

El dia del Harlista (Harley Riders Day) will take place Sunday in thecoastal town of Hatillo, Puerto Rico. It’s a two-day event and the closest we haveof a “formal” bike event. A few years back ol’ Rip came downto our island to enjoy the festivities and shoot some photos. He had a ballwhile riding our old Pans through Puerto Rico.

I had heard rumours of a second Jesse James video, and now it will happen.The video will include Sturgis and such antics. It’s due out in September.

Our friend who had the accident is getting better. His condition is stillfragile but he’s holding on. Thanks to those who wished him well.

Oh well, here it is, short. Gotta go back and deal with the bikes, oilchanges, brake pads and such before loading. Hope to see some of you in theBlack Hills.

–Jose, Bikernet Caribbean Agent

BANDIT THE ASSHOLE–Just wanted to drop you a note and tell ya what an asshole you are…..I gotmy copy of “Chopper” last week, three days away from deadline…… busier thanshit…….I open it up just to browse the first page, and fuck….I’mhooked….I wound up having to work until 4 a.m. this morning just to finish’cause I couldn’t stop reading the damn thing, and when I finished I had torewrite my whole fuckin editorial ’cause you made me think about thepotential future….

Anyway…congrats, and thanks for sending the book…but next time, don’tsend it at deadline……

Scott
Dixi

Continued on Page 3

I?m here at Bikernet headquarters trying to bang out somethinglike the Thursday news. I got one finger swathed in a raggedy, oil-soakedBand-aid, I got a hell of a hangnail on the other and them?s the only fingersthat can operate on this here damned keyboard.

If any of you out there depend seriously on the Bandit?s stuntedprose to guide your miserable, misbegotten lives, you?re fucked. Whateverwriting I do, I usually scrawl stuff with a crayon I stole from some whinykid down the block. My vocabulary has been blistered by too much acid in the’60s, too much coke in the ’70s, too much crank in the ’80s and too muchecstasy in the ’90s. Now I survive on a daily pint or two of Jack Daniels. I?m lucky to string three words together. So don?t be whining about thequality of the news, ya? ungrateful assholes:

RUN FOR BREATH IN CHARLOTTE, UPDATE–It’s hard to believe we’re a little more than two weeks away from the Run For Breath (July 22, Charlotte H-D). We’ve been organizing and planning since January!

Last night we had a dozen bikes ride to Camp Air Care, which is where the proceeds from this year’s run will go. This is a camp for kids (ages 6-12) with asthma. What a beautiful spot! Swimming pool, wooded areas, playgrounds, baseball diamond, basketball court, everything a kid could want. There were stock cars, a helicopter, fire engines, and, of course, the bikes. Would you believe we were the biggest attraction for the kids? They heard us as we came roaring into the park and they lined up to greet us.

We spent a lot of time talking to the volunteers at the camp. What wonderful people they are to devote their time and energy to these kids. The kids have a regular day at camp, just like any other kid, but at least once during each day they are involved in asthma education. One of the nurses there told us that most of these kids go to the emergency room with every asthma attack because they have no education about the disease.

All of the funds that are donated this year will go to the Justin Pullin Scholarship Fund for kids who couldn’t otherwise afford to go.

Also, yesterday’s Monroe, N.C., Enquirer-Journal newspaper featured a front-page article about Mike, Justin and the Run For Breath. It was a well-done story, with pictures of Mike and the bike he built in memory of Justin.

We have been able to get the run posted on a Charlotte web site, GoCarolinas.com, which lists local events.

–Meanest
Charlotte H-D

BRAND NEW JOKER MACHINE ROCKER BOXES–Precision machined, billet aluminum with a no-worries gasket seal, these are the hottest, cleanest rocker boxes on the market. Drag Specialties carries them or check the Joker Machine area right here in downtown Bikernet.

IT’S ALL IN THE ATTITUDE– A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, “Rest in Peace.”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.'”

STURGIS HOUSING UPDATE–Because there are less expected rally-goers this year, housing has not been so difficult to find. There are quite a few private houses still available. Of course finding a tent space has never really been a problem, even for the record-breaking 60th. I’ve heard of a few hotel/motel openings too… not many, but a few. All the lodging info we provide is located at: http://www.Sturgis-Rally.com/lodging.html

We’re also going to continue the Black Hills map special… Buy anyfour 2001 T-shirts and we’ll send you this great map for free! It’s a very hard to destruct, detailed map of the greater Black Hills region. We work with many of the different local Sturgis T-shirt producers and places that sell their own T’s, (like the Buffalo Chip or the Full Throttle Saloon, etc) and are able to offer you one place to get T-Shirts from several different places… saves you time and money because you don’t have to go online to several different places and pay separate shipping and handling charges. And of course you don’t have to fight the crowds and figure out a way to haul more stuff back home!

http://www.sturgis-rally.com/mall/t-shirts.html
http://www.sturgis-rally.com/mall/fsmap.html

Rally Patch collectors… Check out http://www.sturgis-rally.com/mall/pins.html We’ve actually found some older patches and have made some patch sets available… Obviously, these are VERY limited sets. When they are gone, it’s doubtful that we’ll be able to find any more.

WILD INTAKE/CARB SET-UP–I recently received a shot of this engine and freaked. I needed to know more so I contacted the owner, Cronin. We’ll feature it shortly, but this is a recent shot–“TRANSMISSION IS 6-SPEED, BAKER, DELKRON, ANDREW COMBINATION.WE JUST “SHOVED” THIS ONE IN THE SOFTAIL. “

Here are more specs:

139 c.i. V-TWIN SPECIFICATIONS
ENGINE CASES
Manufacturer: Keck
Materials: Billet 6061
Modifications: DR-2 style bearings by Delkron
OIL PUMP
Manufacturer: Proflow
CRANKSHAFT
Manufacturer: JIMS
Modifications: Balanced at 180 degrees from the crank pin using 1-1/4 inches
Tungsten Pins, by J.B. Customs
RODS
Manufacturer: Carrillo, 8 inch w/ .927 Wristpins
PISTONS
Manufacturer: J.E., 4-3/8 inches
CYLINDERS
Manufacturer: Hy-Performance
Materials: Ductile Iron 4-3/8 inch bore
Modifications: Hydraulic fit using 7/16 inch studs
HEADS
Manufacturer: R@R
Materials: 6061 Aluminum
Modifications: Breather vents and O-ring intake ports by J.B. Customs,
CAMSHAFT
Manufacturer: PowerHouse, 620m
VALVES
Manufacturer: Ferrea
ROCKERS @ LIFTERS
Manufacturer: Jims
PUSH RODS
Manufacturer: Delkron
INTAKE MANIFOLDS
Manufacturer: J.B. Customs
Materials: 403 Stainless Steel
Note: Port Flow Analyzed @ 321.2 C.F.M. @ 700 Lift / 313.5 c.f.m. @ 600 Lift(mounted on heads w/carburetors and stacks complete)
CARBURETORS
Manufacturer: Keihin, (4) 39 m.m.
Modifications: Blueprinted, shortened throttle shafts, synchronized, matchedthroats and constructed velocity stacks. By J.B. Customs
EXHAUST PIPES
Manufacturer: J.B.Customs
Materials: 2-1/8 inch Stainless Steel
ROTATING ASSEMBLY (specific)
Manufacturer: Sprocket Shaft (+ 0.750 inch), Pinion Shaft (+ 0.370 inch), Crank Pin,
Rod Bearings, and Cages all By JIMS
Rods By Carrillo
Notes: Total weight = 32.28 pounds (compared with a stock Harley 80″ EVO @ 31.52 poundsPiston set = 3.60 pounds (compared with a stock Harley 80″ EVO @ 2.41 poundsThat is only .76 pounds + 1.19 pounds = 1.95 pounds (884.51 grams) of additionalweight! *Head and crankcase is vented and pressure monitored upper and lower,by J.B. Customs

SUPER VEE REPORT, SURVIVED ANOTHER 700 MILES– Just back from another 700 miler over the mountains to Vernon.Vintage flattracking with Indian Sport Scouts, Harley WRs, Rotaxtwin (snowmobile engine) ice-racer sidehack, a variety of British twins andsingles, etc. Had a great time, apart from my buddy beating all the Indianson his WR, and the Vee ran great. I’ll be writing this one up, and justfinished a report on the Isle of Lamb run last weekend (another old bikecampout).

Generally they run 300 to 1,000 words, may even send you one forthe flavour.

–Allan.

WRONG GRILS–Come on Bandit, you can do better than that. Put real biker woman on gril of the day, not ones I have seen in magazines. That sucks. DON’T USE MODELS, there are lots of GREAT biker ladies, use them.

–The undertaker

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