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Read More June 14, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
Then came this news flash: the ultimate women’s car. Notice that it doesn’t have turn signals. They don’t use ’em anyway–too busy on the phone. Better get to the news before I get in more trouble.
HOT ROD BIKES MAGAZINE– Just read the thing on Dennis Manning. Really great article. Mr. Dennis told me about the H.O.G. thing in Cinc’y when I was there in March for the dealer show. Trock says he can see air flow.
To me?Dennis really seemed down to earth,?very easy to talk to. He really is into his thing with Bonneville. You know when you talk to him it’s his life. He is lucky that he has been able to pursue his dream.
When I worked for Romeo Palamides in the mid ’80s, we talked about his racing days every now and then.?Once you got him talking about the old times, it was like going back and reading all the old Hot Rod magazines you read when you were a kid. He would get all hyped up, man. It was very cool.
I consider myself fortunate just to have known him, let alone to have worked and learned from him. Some of the stuff he showed me?were things I saw in those old magazines. It was just cool to be actually doing it for real.
Anyway, that’s all. Just wanted to let you know?I really enjoyed reading those articles?you did on Warner, Wink and Dennis.
–Keep it going, Paul
Thanks Paul, watch for the interview with Jim Hunter, one of the oldest Boozefighters in the world and a historic racer. In his time he was the fastest on the planet. Next week I will interview Don Vesco, the legend of Bonneville racing, but not a Harley guy. I’m looking forward to meeting him.
BIG DOG OPENS BIGGER DOORS– Motorcyle aficionados from across the region gathered in Whichita, Kan., on May 12 to get a first-hand look at Big Dog’s new facility and celebrate its grand opening. An estimated 5,000 people attended the open house.
Designed for everyone in mind, the open house gave visitors an inside look into the workings of one of America’s premier motorcycle manufacturers. Tours featured the factory production line, Big Dog’s paint facility and parts department. Not to be missed was the showroom designed to appeal to a wide range of enthusiasts. If you’re ever cruising through Wichita, don’t hesitate to stop in. Nick, the president, isn’t doing anything, ask him to give you a tour.
BOB ILLINGWORTH– former president of the MMRA (Minnesota Motorcycle RidersAssociation) and former Hamster, has taken on a new venture with his move toSturgis, S.D. He has taken up the position of president and acting director ofthe Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame.
The official opening is June 1.Rally hours are 8 a.m to 8 p.m. It’s located on Main Street in Sturgis by thePyramid Beer Gardens. Check it out if you go to bike week. They arehaving a big raffle on August 11 at 3 p.m., need not be present to win. For$10 you’ll have a chance to win a 2001 H-D Dyna Wide Glide, a Corbin ’51Merc Couch and a Peter Fonda Henry 45 Rifle donated by Peter Fonda himself.
To find out more and/or order tickets online, go towww.sturgismotorcyclemuseum.org ?or click on this link
SPEAKING OF STURGIS–They will have a hall of fame induction breakfast on August 8; $15 perticket, reserve ahead. ?The inductees are Gov. William Janklow, South Dakota, U.S.Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell, Colorado, State Sen. Jim Putnam, South Dakato, JimBetlach from Minneapois Easyriders Corp., David Perewitz, Cycle Fab in MA.,Frank Ernst, Abate of Minnesota, Neil Hutlman, Jackpine Gypsies MC, Eddie Miller andFamily, Jackpine Gypsies, Penny Walker, Montana, Tom Rudd, Kuryakyn Corp., WoodyCarson, Antique MC of America, Genevieve Schmitt, Woman Rider Mag, IndianJeff, Washington. ?Limited seating, full tables available, call (605) 347-0849 forreservations. Breakfast will be at Historic Fort Meade, South Dakota, Fort MeadeRecreation Center at 9 a.m. sharp.
–Patty
JOHN COVINGTON OF SURGICAL-STEEDS–in Phoenix, Ariz., took the time out this week to give us a rundown on the manufactured custom market after we mentioned that the clone market might be slowing. Get some real insight into the market, check out the interview on Bikernet here.
Here are a couple of bikes from the Surgical-Steeds line. Oh, by the way, this is the first of more special reports to come. Check the home page.
FUELING LAW–Gov. John Kitzhaber?signed in to law HB 3885, which gives Oregon’s motorcyclists the choice of fueling their own bikes. Motorcyclists will be the only class of vehicle allowed to actually dispense fuel into their tanks. This bill passed with very few opposed in both the House and Senate. Lawmakers agreed with BikePAC and Oregon’s motorcyclists that the special fueling requirements of?various bikes made the rider the expert at fuel dispensing. This bill also removes a liability for gas station owners who permitted the common sense practice of allowing bikers to fuel their own.
In accordance with ORS 171.022, “Except as otherwise provided in the Act, an Act of the Legislative Assembly takes effect on January 1 of the year after passage of the Act.” So starting Jan. 1, 2002, this law will be in effect.
–David Hickerson
INSURANCE ADVOCATES SLAM EDUCATION AS RISKY–At a time when state motorcyclists’ rightsorganizations (SMROs) are in the midst of lobbying Washington to advancesafety training for motorists and motorcyclists, the nation’s leadinginsuranceassociation promoting its version of “highway safety” is telling Congressand the president, “Why bother?”
The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, in a special report issued May19, attacks the value of motorist and motorcyclist training and education.That special report is in the hands of Washington policy makers now — thevery time when motorcyclists are lobbying for a resource injection to helpstate-run rider training and a national program of motorist awareness ofmotorcycles.
“Education can be risky,” IIHS warns. “An education, persuasion ortrainingprogram might make things worse, either by increasing exposure,engendering overconfidence or somehow rewarding risky behavior.”
There is no question that this attack on education is in direct response tothetraining component of the joint MRF-SMRO legislative agenda that has foundsupport in both the White House and the Congress.There is also no question that you and motorcyclists nationwide mustcounter this attack on one of our bedrock principles.
For a copy of this special report, go to
–Rogue
LITTLE JOHNNIE– was very lustful for a girl living in his neighborhood. He invited her to dinner and she accepted. After dinner, he drove to a little mountain about 5 miles away from the city and told her: “I want you right here and now. Do it or get out and go home!” Without saying a word, she got out and walked home.
A few weeks later, after a lot of apologizing, he invited her again, and she agreed. Later, he drove to another mountain about 10 miles away. Same question, same answer: The girl got out of the car and walked home.
Another few weeks later, after sending flowers and candies and even more apologizing, Johnnie gave it another try. The girl accepted once again. This time, Johnny wanted to make it sure, so he drove 50 miles away.
Once again he said: “I want you now. Do it or get out and walk home!” Without saying a word, the girl undressed and the two had the greatest sex in Johnnie’s whole life.
Afterwards, when the two of them were dressed again and drove home, Johnnie asked her why she had walked home the first two times, as she had obviously enjoyed it very much.
The girl answered: “Well, I will gladly walk 5 and even 10 miles to save a good friend from gonorrhea, but 50 miles is just too much to ask.”
Continued on Page 2
June 14, 2001 Part 4
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 3
Take a look at the WCC, and the car behind !
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–One of those times when everything happens, I mean everything, at the sametime. Sturgis, shop, bikes to be built, rides and shows. One day turns intothe next one and we don’t even notice, just the deadlines. The West Coastbike is done, first mock up, just some little details and it’s heading toour paint room.One customer saw the bare metal and primer, liked it, gone. It’s good butalso adds pressure. To top it, most of the summer bike events and rideswill happen this month, before hurricane season starts. Oh well , lets getto the news.
The HOG ride last Sunday brought 283 bikers, they slept over in theSouthern town of Ponce. I hear some antics went on in the quiet townplaza, burnouts galore, no helmets and noise, lots ofnoise……Tsk,tsk….I thought HOGs were all proper and well to do…..They rode up into the mountains to an Indian ceremonial park and then keptriding south for lunch.
June 24 is the 6th Jack Daniels BBQ contest, Caribbean Custom Cycles is apart sponsor of this event, there will be a bike show and booth displayingour latest bikes (hope I will have the WCC for then). We are trying to getsome “experts” from the U.S. to show up…..Hey Bandit, are you up to it?Anyway I will try to shoot everything and post it here.
Next Sunday is the Dia del Motociclista, motorcycle day at the racetrack,bikes of all brands show up to drag against each other and have a goodtime, also an impromptu bike show goes on.
Stanley’s, another local bar/ club, is going to have a biker night withprizes such as pipes and neon spark wires and special deals if you show up ona V-Twin. Caribbean Custom Cycles is the co-sponsor in this venture. Threedoor prizes will be awarded every night.
**** Special Report**** Seems like there is a wave of 5-ball kidnappingsfrom the bars in the San Juan area. All the bar owners are furious. “Justthe 5 ball is missing,” said Juan. “I bet it’s these fuckin’ rice rocketriders….”
Bandit will get a shipment of 5 balls for his trophy building venture inthe next few days, although the mailman bitched about the box being a bit”hot.”
Just received a set of Accutronix raked triple trees, they are TRICK! Sevendegree rake in 41mm wide glide, soon to come 4 degree in 39 mm wide glidefor Sportsters, these are killer trees.
Well let’s get back to my dungeon and work on the bikes, gotta coupleweeks, that’s it…….. Jose
Mums the word–Bandit
NEW GUN LAWS–H.R. 138 (Nadler): This bill would require virtually all handgun purchasersfrom any seller to obtain a state handgun license (and to have completed acourse and passed an exam) — and would require purchasers to wait for acheck on whether or not the license had been revoked. After two years, acurrent handgun owner would be required to have a license in order to keephis handgun.
JIMS GIVES AWAY NEW TWIN-CAM STROKER KIT–Don’t miss it. A chance to pick up 20 more horses for your Twin Cam just by clicking and filling out the application. Go for it.http://www.jimsusa.com/give-a-way/give-a-way.html
IT WAS GETTING CROWDED IN HEAVEN– so God decided to change theadmittance policy. The new law was: in order to get into Heaven, you hadto have a really bummer day on the day that you died. The policy would gointo effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to thegates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy,promptly asked the man, “Before I let you in, I need you to tell me howyour day was going when you died.”
“No problem” the man said. “I came home to my 25th floorapartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But herlover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wifewas half-naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balconyand noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on hisfingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn’t you know it, he landed insome trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die. This ticked meoff even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I couldget my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thoughtof was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony andflipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack anddied instantly.”
The angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have abad day – it was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announces, “OK sir.Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and lets him in. A few seconds laterthe next guy comes up. To the Angel’s surprise it was Vernon Jordan.”Mr. Jordan, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your daywas like when you died.
Jordan said, “No problem. But you’re not going tobelieve this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my dailyexercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushinghard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped,and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myselfby the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden thiscrazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stompson my fingers. Well, of course, I fell. I hit some trees and bushes atthe bottom which broke my fall so I didn’t die right away. As I’m layingthere, face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, Isee this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It fallsthe 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.”
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Jordan finishes his story. Icould get used to this new policy, he thinks to himself. “Very well,” theAngel announces “welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and he lets Jordanenter.
A few seconds later, President Clinton comes up to the gate.The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination andwar poured through the Angel’s head. Finally he said, “Mr. President,please tell me what it was like the day you died.”
Clinton says, “OK, picture this. I’m sitting inside a refrigerator,naked, minding my own business….”
ANOTHER DEAL OF THE WEEK–Laminated fiberglass custom hand made saddle bag and fender set withmatching air dam. Front fender is 6 inches wide O.D.; rear fender is 7 inches wideO.D.; the saddle bags are extra wide, measuring 8 inches I.D. The saddle bagsand the rear fender have built-in 1939 Ford tear drop taillights. This istruly the deal if you want a unique motorcycle. I have seen this setup sellfor over $2,500. SPECIAL $1,000. Contact: rogue@bikerrogue or visitweb site www.bikerrogue.com
SINGAPORE’S WORST JOB: WANKING ELEPHANTS–By Kway Png,
Last week, the Singapore Zoological Gardens announced that they were settingup a bank containing sperm samples of all the wildlife under theirsupervision. At the same time, zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang binGoncang won a competition for “Worst Job in Singapore.”Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo, the JurongBird Park and the Night Safari, has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissuein order to help preserve species. And It is Mr. Binatang’s job to collectthe sperm.
“Teruk, sial,” said Mr. Binatang as we followed him on his rounds at 4 a.m.in the morning. “We start so early in the morning because a lot of theanimals have a ‘morning glory’ when they wake up, and it’s easier to collectthe sperm then.”
Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice andTupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he’d just graduated fromSingapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature andanimals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place towork.
“I never thought I’d be giving an orangutan a hand job every morning,” hesaid somewhat ruefully. “And Ah Meng is the worst. He expects to be kissedfirst.” As we approached the orangutan enclosure, we saw the Zoo’s mostfamous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, andsporting a huge erection. Mr. Binatang sighed, and applied massage oil ontohis gloves. We lingered outside the enclosure as Mr. Binatang entered andknelt before Ah Meng. About 2 minutes’ worth of squelching noises could beheard before Mr. Binatang emerged again. “So fast?” we asked. “He’s shy withyou strangers looking on and can’t perform today,” said Mr. Binatang with agrin, before silently mouthing “thank you” to us.
We next moved towards the tiger enclosure. The big cats were sprawled lazilyon the grass verge as Mr. Binatang approached. “Sayang, sayang,” said Mr.Binatang in a somewhat half- hearted manner as he put on a fresh set ofgloves and entered the enclosure. “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty…”
Moments later, Mr. Binatang emerged with several Tupperware full of viscousfluid. “Is that…?” we asked gingerly. “It’s not soya bean,” replied Mr.Binatang grimly. “Isn’t it dangerous?” we asked. Mr. Binatang was silent fora while. “They know I’m not there as an enemy,” he finally said, a glazed,faraway look in his eyes. We fought the urge to say, “Give that man atiger.”
Mr. Binatang then worked his way round the zoo, carrying out his duties”with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, the giraffe and the gorillas, amongstothers. Each animal is different,” he said, removing his gloves, nowspeckled with traces of polar bear spunk. “The polar bears come ratherquickly, because they’re not used to my warm hands on their cold organs. Thechimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the mostteruk because of the size of its thing… sometimes I have to use both myarms to tug on it. I feel like the bell ringer in a cathedral. LikeQuasimodo or something. And god, when he comes, it’s like being sprayed byhot glue.” Mr. Binatang finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Thecooler box was full of neatly-labeled Tupperware of animal semen, which wereduly delivered to the WRS office.
“I don’t know how long I’m going to stayin this job,” said Mr. Binatang, peeling off his overalls. “As you canexpect it’s really affecting my sex life. I can’t help it. Each time my wifeinitiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind.”The WRS acknowledges Mr. Binatang’s difficulties and promises that the semencollection procedure will soon change. But not because of the unpleasantnessof the job.
“It’s because the animals have gotten too used to Binatangcoming over every morning to pull them off,” said deputy assistant directorLai Jee Seow. “Many of them now can’t be bothered to engage in real sex.”
CANTINA DEALS–Sure it costs a whopping $1.65 a month to be a member of the Cantina. It’s worth it, goddamnit. But just in case you have a doubt, we’re throwing the money back at you. Every tenth member receives a copy of “Sam Chopper Orwell,” and weekly we give away valuable prizes of your choosing from Bikernet, Bandit, JIMS Machine, Samson Exhaust, Joker Machine and more.
This week we gave Paul Morris from Ventura, Calif., a XXL Bikernet T-shirt. Could be you next week.
A MAN AND HIS WIFE– are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loudpounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunkenstranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push.
“Not a chance” says the husband – “It’s three o’clock in the morning!”He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was it?” asks his wife.
“Just a drunken stranger asking for apush” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“NO, I didn’t – it’s three in the morning and raining like hell out!”
“Well you’ve got a short memory” says his wife. “Can’t you rememberabout three months ago when we broke down on vacation and those two guyshelped us? I think you should help him.”
The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into thepounding rain and calls out into the dark. “Hello — are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes the answer.
“Do you still want a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
“Over here on the swing” the drunk replies.
CHROME SPECIALTIES CATALOG UPDATE–Yes, folks, it’s true. Chrome Specialties has updated its catalog and its available for free on Bikernet. Just click and run. Before you know it, the catalog will be delivered directly to your door by a government messenger.Click Here!
ANOTHER DEAL OF THE WEEK, EXCEPT THIS TIME IT CAME FROM THE FACTORY–In order to bring the benefits of engine remanufacturing to an even larger audience, Harley-Davidson Credit is now offering a special financing program for its Engine Remanufacturing Program.
Last year H-D improved upon the already successful program by providing shipment tracking, increased capacity and a reduction in turn-around time. The addition of being able to finance the cost of engine remanufacturing gives every owner of an Evolution motorcycle the opportunity to rejuvenate his or her engine.
JOKER MACHINE MAKES ACCESSORIES FOR RIDLEY–Geoff the GM of Joker got his hands on a 265-pound, 3/4 scale V-Twin from Ridley and hauled it to the drags for the kids to ride. The more Geoff looked at the minature powerhouse the more accessories he noted he could build for the Oklahoma City manufacturer. So with the assistance of Richard, the Joker designer, he built five parts. Ridley is buying every component Joker makes. Check the Joker site on Bikernet or ridleymotorcycles.com for info on this new minature motorcycle.
I’M OUTTA HERE–I need a shot and the touch of her thighs. Damn, this news was a bear. There’s a brother, Bob T., outside on his Softail waiting to go for a ride. I met this guy 30 years ago in Long Beach. We rode to the Terminal Island Prison for bike shows back then. Of course we were too stoned to remember much of it. Seems he got pissed and ate a beer can.
I better move before the old guy passes away. Listen, I don’t know about you, but I love the sun and a blue sky, and of course the touch of her thigh. Try not to waste too many hours of the day doing bullshit work. Get out there and feel the wind, a cold can of beer in your hand and… We’re picking up some parts for the Buell this afternoon and that puppy will begin to go back together. Every weekend is packed with events, we’re busting our ass to prepare for Sturgis. Going a different route this year. I’m into my next book. Shit, I don’t know where to end the list and split. So fuck it, we’re burnin’ daylight, let’s ride.–Bandit
June 14, 2001 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 2
LATE BREAKING NEWS–They found the body of the Chinese pilot who rammed the P3surveillance plane.
Although he had been previously listed incorrectly, he has nowbeen positively identified as WON DUM PHUC.
HANOI JANE IS BACK–Just in case we forgot. Jane Fonda is being honored as one of the “100 Womenof the Century.” Unfortunately many have forgotten and still countless othershavenever known how Ms. Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country butspecific men who served and sacrificed during Vietnam. The first part of thisis from an F-4E pilot. The pilot’s name is Jerry Driscoll, a River Rat. In 1968,the former commandant of the USAF Survival School was a POW in Ho Lo Prison -the “Hanoi Hilton.” Dragged from a stinking cesspool of a cell,cleaned, fed and dressed in clean PJs, he was ordered to describe for avisiting American “peace activist” the “lenient and humane treatment” he’dreceived. He spat at Ms. Fonda, was clubbed, and dragged away. During thesubsequent beating, he fell forward on the camp commandant’s feet, whichsent that officer berserk. In 1978, the AF Col. still suffered from doublevision (which permanently ended his flying days) from the Vietnamese colonel’sfrenzied application of a wooden baton. From 1963-85, Col. Larry Carrigan wasin the 47FW/DO F-4Es. He spent 6 years in the “Hilton” – the first three ofwhich he was “missing in action.”
His wife lived on faith that he was stillalive. His group, too, got the cleaned, fed, clothed routine in preparationfor a peace delegation visit. They, however, had time and devised a plan toget word to the world that they still survived. Each man secreted a tinypiece of paper with his Social Security number on it, in the palm of his hand. When paradedbefore Ms. Fonda and a cameraman, she walked the line, shaking each man’shand and asking little encouraging snippets like: “Aren t you sorry youbombed babies?” and “Are you grateful for the humane treatment from yourbenevolent captors?”
Believing this HAD to be an act, they each palmed hertheir sliver of paper. She took them all without missing a beat. At the endof the lineand once the camera stopped rolling, to the shocked disbelief of the POWs,she turned to the officer in charge and handed him the little pile of papers.Three men died from the subsequent beatings. Col. Carrigan was almost numberfour but he survived, which is the only reason we know about her actions thatday.
I was a civilian economic development adviser in Vietnam. I wascaptured by the North Vietnamese communists in South Vietnam in 1968 andheld for over 5 years. I spent 27 months in solitary confinement, 1 year ina cage in Cambodia and 1 year in a black box in Hanoi. My NorthVietnamese captors deliberately poisoned and murdered a female missionary, anurse in a leprosarium in Ban Me Thuot, South Vietnam, whom I buried in thejungle near the Cambodian border. At one time, I was weighing approximately90 pounds. (My normal weight is 170 pounds.) We were Jane Fonda’s “war criminals.”
When Jane Fonda was in Hanoi, I was asked by the camp Communist politicalofficer if I would be willing to meet with Jane Fonda. I said yes, for I wouldlike to tell her about the real treatment we POWs were receiving, which wasfar different from the treatment purported by the North Vietnamese andparroted by Jane Fonda as “humane and lenient.” Because of this, I spentthree days on a rocky floor on my knees with outstretched arms with a largeamount of steel placed on my hands, and beaten with a bamboo cane till myarms dipped.
I had the opportunity to meet with Jane Fonda for a couple ofhours after I was released. I asked her if she would be willing to debate meon TV. She did not answer me. This does not exemplify someone who should behonored as part of “100 Years of Great Women.” Lest we forget…”100 years ofgreat women” should never include a traitor whose hands are covered with theblood of so many patriots. There are few things I have strong visceralreactions to, but Hanoi Jane’s participation in blatant treason is one ofthem. Please take the time to forward this to as many people as you possibly can.It will eventually end up on her computer and she needs to know that we willnever forget.
–Charles (Skip) Klingman
Asst. Professor of Music
Southwestern Oklahoma State University
Weatherford, OK 73096
(580) 774-3219 FAX: (580) 774-3795
A SENIOR MOMENT–Two elderly residents, one male and one female, weresitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home oneevening. The old man looked over and said to the oldlady, “I know just what you’re wanting, and for $5 I’ll have sex with you right over there in that rockingchair.”
The old lady looked surprised but didn’t say a word. Theold man continued, “For $10 I’ll do it with you on thatnice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I’ll take youback to my room, light some candles, and give you themost romantic evening you’ve ever had in your life.”
The old lady still says nothing but after a coupleminutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls outa wrinkled $20 bill and holds it up.
“So you want the nice romantic evening in my room,” saysthe old man.
“Hell no!” replies the old lady. “I want it four times inthe rocking chair.”
2001 CUSTOM PROSTREET– New and Never Registered, Built By Rogue Using Top of the Line Parts– This motorcycle has style and class with performance and reliability built in.
The engine is a single cam Evolution, built by Accurate Engineering and comes with a 12 month/12,000 mile warranty. It has Wiseco pistons 10.1:1 compression, Andrews EV47 cam, S&S carb, Dyna 2000I single fire ignition and is black wrinkle with polished fins, chrome rocker boxes and nose cone.
The transmission is a black and chrome 5 speed from Custom Chrome and covered under their warranty.
The black powder coated Kraftech, FXR, rubber mount Pro Street frame sports a stainless steel oil tank and lines, chrome swingarm with chrome adjustable shocks.
Front end is American Suspension inverted with billet triple trees, halogen headlight, 16? 3 spoke mag wheel with Avon Venom X MT90B16 tire.
The rear wheel is 16? 3 spoke mag wheel with Avon Venom X 160/80/16 tire. Stainless steel rotors front and rear with billet calipers and stainless steel lines. Stretched Fat Bob gas tanks with aircraft type locking gas caps and Accel Hi-Flow petcock, full length fenders, custom paint and Aurora taillight.
Polished inner and outer primary covers with automatic chain adjuster, Rivera Pro-Street clutch and chrome Hi-Torque starter. Wiring harness and controller by Thunder Heart with protected circuits and weatherproof connectors.
High end custom seat, chrome forward and handlebar controls, stainless steel hardware and much more.
Be the proud owner of this fine motorcycle for only $22,995.Contact ROGUE atrogue@bikerrogue.com or visit web site at www.bikerrogue.com
DEAR RUTH–I read with interest your request for the Village of Meredosia to support and acknowledge, via a special proclamation by the mayor, the volunteer work that ABATE has done in the field of motorcycle safety. In reviewing the proclamation you provided for the Village, I am sorry to inform you that I am unable, in good conscience, to sign such a proclamation for the following reason.
In your list of “WHEREAS,” your group stated that safety is the highest priority for the highways and streets in and around our towns and villages. You further stated that Illinois is a leader in motorcycle safety and that promoting motorcycle safety is a priority of ABATE.
I am pleased that your organization is promoting motorcycle safety, but your statements seem to be somewhat misleading and/or possibly incorrect. It is unbelievable that Illinois is a leader in motorcycle safety when the single most important item of personal safety for a motorcyclist is not a mandatory item of required equipment for operating said motorcycle. I would not consider operating an automobile without first connecting my seatbelt, and I believe any safety conscious motorcyclist would not consider operating his/her motorcycle without first putting on a helmet.
In other words, I am unable to support any group that claims to teach safety that is not also actively pursuing state legislation that would make wearing an approved helmet mandatory for operating a motorcycle on the streets and highways of Illinois. If you are such a group, and I am in error in my judgement of your organization, and you are actively pursuing legislation, than please forward information concerning such efforts and I would joyfully reconsider your request.
Sincerely,
Mike Brown
Mayor/Village President
Meredosia, IL 62665
Dear Mike– I only just received your letter June 4, so I hope you will understand the delay in my response. I must admit, I was extremely surprised and disappointed to read of your feelings toward ABATE (A Brotherhood Aimed Toward Education), motorcycle awareness month during May, and our proclamations. Never have I seen such a response. I could respect your opinion concerning the objectives and priorities of our organization, but you clearly having no knowledge of our history, our strong supporters and our freedom-loving members, you could not possibly understand how we would never promote such legislation as you suggested in your letter. I could quote statistics to you all day long on this issue, but instead, I shall hopefully help you to see some of our side of things, our goals, as these subjects were not made available in my mailings of our proclamations last month.
“The mission of ABATE of Illinois is to preserve the right to a safe, unrestricted motorcycling environment.” There is nothing misleading about this statement. I think possibly you did not read through the entire proclamation. It is well known that ABATE does not support helmet legislation of any sort, yet it is unfortunate that people like yourself are not aware that we contribute SO much more in our communities, as you will come to see.
You, as an elected public official, should know that our members dedicate countless hours to teach the drivers ed students in your area schools to be aware of motorcyclists on the road, among other things. ABATE is the only organization I am aware of in this state that does this work in schools. We reached over 40,000 children in Illinois last year.
ABATE, in cooperation with the MSF (Motorcycle Safety Foundation), helps to teach tens of thousands of people to ride their motorcycles safely with the beginner rider and advanced rider courses, each one a 20 hour field and classroom test. Illinois is the only state that offers these invaluable courses for FREE. The rider pays $20 up front, and can opt to have their money returned to them (or donated to the course funds), if they pass the course. Surrounding states’ riders sometimes pay several hundreds of dollars for the same courses that we offer here at this exceptional fee.
For 12 of the past 14 years our chapter has been around, we have delivered Easter baskets by motorcycle to the Hope School, where the developmentally disabled children and adults would otherwise go without. There are numerous toy runs, downed rider benefits, dinners for the needy, Ronald McDonald house donations, countless fundraisers and other benefits that are arranged to not only help ourselves, but to help the families and people around us that we care for.
Today’s and yesteryear’s motorcycle enthusiast (and I’m quite sure that you are not among this group) do not wish to have the government blindly decide what is in their best interest. One of our many mottos is, “Let those who ride decide,” and I am very strongly aligned with this idea. The reason Illinois is one of only four states in the U.S. that has no helmet laws on the books is because we are over 12,000 members strong, and we have learned long ago that no one will care about preserving our rights and protecting ourselves, EXCEPT ourselves.
Another motto we frequently quote is, “Educate, not legislate.” We believe that it is the parent’s duty to see to the child’s safety, their own safety, and others’ safety when riding a bike, a motorcycle, or driving a car. It is called responsibility. The public mistakenly believes that ABATE is primarily “anti-helmet,” but that is simply not the case. If the motorcyclist wants to wear a helmet when he rides, GREAT! ABATE is ensuring that we will always have that choice. Rest assured also, Mike, the motorcyclist is extremely safety conscious. Some choose to not wear a helmet because it detracts from their hearing and peripheral vision, and may indeed cause an accident.
Obviously there are many, many more automobile accidents in this country than motorcycle accidents, and a great many more fatal injuries attributed to these car accidents, are there not? There are also a great deal more fatal head injuries in these car accidents. What would you do if you heard that the state had introduced legislation that would require you to wear a helmet as well as your seatbelt when you operate your car? Would you sit by and allow these people to pass this law, saying to yourself, ‘Well, they must know what is best for me’? How many of your personal liberties are you willing to give up to the beatific “parent” that is our legislature? There must be limitations set for what we allow our elected officials to pass, not just to justify their existence, and this is where ABATE fights to keep the proverbial line drawn in the sand.
We say “Freedom isn’t free,” and sadly, it is true. ABATE of Illinois fights for us every day, and I’m proud to say I’m an active part of this bunch of freedom fighters.
Sincerely,
Ruth Allan
ABATE of Illinois
Lincolnland Chapter
Activities/Public Relations Coord.
LA CALENDAR BIKE SHOW UPDATE–Bikernet and the LA Calendar Bike Show are pleased to announce that actress, stunt woman and biker babe Brenda Fox will be working with us as mistress of ceremonies and hostess at the Calendar Bike Show the weekend of July 21 and 22. Brenda will be on stage throughout the weekend to introduce activities, interview notable personalities at the show and to keep spectators informed of what’s going on. Plus Brenda will be helping out at the Bikernet.com booth throughout the weekend where you can meet her, as well as hosting the Bikernet party onboard the Queen Mary on Saturday night.
Bikernet will have T-shirts and books for sale, plus you can meet some of the characters who write the crap on the site. Also on display will be Bandit’s Bedrolls. Stop by or come to the party at the Observation lounge from 9 p.m. to midnight and collect goodies and door prizes.
Also added to the bike show this year is a new Vintage Bike Class for pre-1965 bikes, which is being put together by bike show contest judge and famed bike restorer Don Whalen. Don promises to have the class filled with some of the finest vintage collectors’ bikes on the West Coast. It should be a real treat.For complete details on the LA Calendar Bike Show at the Queen Mary on July 21 and 22, go to
ALLIGATOR WARNING– Due to the extreme drought in Florida, the following caution was issued:
The Florida Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in Seminole, Osceola, Polk, Brevard and Orange counties. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the alligators. They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with an alligator.
It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity. People should recognize the difference between small young alligator and large adult alligator droppings.
Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers. Adult alligator droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.
–Kris B.
CLASSIFIED TESTIMONIAL–Thanks for the posting. I have now sold both items due to your site. Iam not sure how to remove the ad, and would appreciate your help indoing so. The ad number was 511 if that helps. Thanks again, Rollie
Indian is in hot water again. In fact, the
NOAH’S NEW ARK . . .It is the year 2000 and Noah lives in the United States. The Lord speaksto Noah and says: “In one year I am going to make it rain and cover thewhole earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save therighteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth.Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.”
In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark.Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.”Remember,” said the Lord, “You must complete the Ark and bringeverything aboard in one year.”
Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and allthe seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting inhis front yard weeping. “Noah,” he shouted, “Where is the Ark?”
“Lord please forgive me!” cried Noah. “I did my best, but there were bigproblems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plansdid not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm andredraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices.
Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances bybuilding the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from thecity planning commission. I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won’t let me catch any owls. So, no owls.
The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiatea settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters onthe Ark, but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impactstatement on your proposed flood. They didn’t take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of theuniverse.
Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new floodplain. I sent them a globe. Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!
The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I’m building the Ark inpreparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got anotice from the state that I owe some kind of user tax and failed toregister the Ark as a recreational water craft.”
Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against furtherconstruction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, itis a religious event and therefore unconstitutional. I really don’t thinkI can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!” Noah wailed.
The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. “You mean you arenot going to destroy the earth, Lord?”
“No,” said the Lord sadly. “The government already has.”
Continued on Page 4
June 7, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE–On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While they are waiting, they begin to wonder, “Could they possibly get married in Heaven?”
When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he leaves.
The couple sits and waits for an answer. It takes a couple of months. While they are waiting, they discuss whether or not they should get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
“What if it doesn’t work?” they wondered, “are we stuck together forever?”
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informs the couple, “you CAN get married in Heaven.”
Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
“What’s wrong?” asks the frightened couple.
“OH, C’MON!” St. Peter shouts, “it took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”
WEEKLY SPECIALS–Every week the Bikernet crew will come up with a bucks-saving special on a book, shirt, HA vest or… Check out the gift shops in the Bikernet Gulch for totally secure ordering, great prices and convenience — you don’t need to leave your garage and run all over the state to find what you need.
If you think we should be carrying a particular line of products, drop me a nasty note. I can take it–Bandit@bikernet.com.
VANCIL WINS IN CANADA–Doug Vancil of Albuquerque, N.M., pulled his Screamin’Eagle Nitro Harley by Vance& Hines/Drag Specialties out of the trailer and ripped off a 6.456 ET at215.46 mph for No. 1 qualifier at Grand Bend, Ontario, at the second annualMopar Performance Parts Nationals presented by Castrol. With ultraconsistency, Vancil dashed through the field, never leaving the 6.5s for hisfirst IHRA win of the season.
Breaking the bridesmaid syndrome, after two previous runner ups at Rockinghamand Richmond, Vancil defeated Steve Stordeur of Mancuso Racing in the finalswith a 6.551 at 204.35 mph over 6.633 ET at 209.93 mph.
The Vancils are supported by Vance & Hines, Drag Specialties, PerformanceMachine, K & N, Valvoline, B & J Transmission and Axtell.
POLAND’S WORST AIR DISASTER– occurred when a two-seat Cessna 152 crashedinto a cemetery today.
Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expectthat number to climb as digging continues into the night.
BREVARD CULTURAL ALLIANCE PRESENTS ART OF HARLEYS– One of the ways that the Brevard Cultural Alliance raises money for their Youths at Risk Arts Program is by having this yearly event. The money goes to teach kids art instead of “muggin’ and thuggin’.” Just in case you’re doing one of them “what’s that got to do with motorcycles?” where do you think custom bike builders, painters and tattoo artists come from?
It was a fun day and a well-organized event. There was a bike show, some real art, a bike rodeo, music and, of course, a bunch of vendors.
I got to see a lot of friends and have a bunch of beers so it was a great day for me. The only part was I didn?t win the bike they raffled off. Of course I need another one just as much as Bandit. HEY YOU NEVER HAVE TOO MANY MOTORCYCLES!!!!!!!!
–ROGUE
AN OUTRAGE–“It is an outrage that 10,446 law enforcement agencies wasted their time and energy to browbeat motorists for not wearing a seatbelt — in a nation where 90,000 women are raped annually; 15,000 people are murdered; 400,000 people are robbed; and 900,000 people are assaulted. That’s not public safety — it’s public harassment. It’s a criminal misuse of law enforcement resources, and Americans should be outraged by it.”
— Steve Dasbach, the Libertarian Party’s national director, reacts with outrage to Operation ABC Mobilization, a nation-wide Memorial Day weekend seatbelt-crackdown sponsored by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. ABC, in case you need an ipecac (look it up), stands for America Buckles Up Children.
CHROME SPECIALTIES GIRLS–This is just a taste of the world of Chrome Specialties Girls we hope to feature here on Bikernet. The cutest babe on the CSI staff, Dawn Marchand, their media manager, handled the shoot. I’ll bet she did… Some of the girls are local Dallas and Fort Worth “Hooters” girls and Dawn’s notion is to use the shots with the CSI 2001 bikes for ads, promo, Web site screen savers, posters/calendars and more. With Dawn groping this situation, I’m sure there will be more. You’ll see the girls pop up around Bikernet and in the Chrome Specialties Department.
AHDRA ROCKY MOUNTAIN NITRO NATIONALS PRESENTED BY RIVERA ENGINEERING/PRIMO BELT DRIVES AND THE GATES RUBBER COMPANY, BANDIMERE SPEEDWAY, DENVER, COLORADO, JUNE 16-17–What do you get when you combine 200 mph motorcycles, live bands, drag racing school, camping, tons of vendors and a chance to win a brand new Harley-davidson motorcycle in a setting as beautiful as the Rocky Mountains? Give up? Announcing the 2001 AHDRA Rocky Mountain Nitro Nationals.
The action returns to Bandimer Speedway July 16-17 in one fire breathing weekend. See JIMS Top Fuelers, S&S Cycle Pro Stock, Joker Machine Modified, Dynojet Street Pro and Andrews ET racers compete for a piece of the $35,000 purse. Enter your bike in the ride-in bike show. Get off the street and on the rack with Hot Rod Bikes How to Go Drag Racing School. Enjoy great food and beer while watching hot bands. Plus be a part of the Miracle Ride of the Rockies, the charity ride that raised over $100,000 for the Muscular Dystrophy Association last year. Be there, be there.
WHITEHORSE PRESS RELEASES NEW SUMMER RIDING CATALOG–The WhiteHorse Press gang is now distributing “Sam ‘Chopper’ Orwell,” so you need to check their lastest catalog to see what they wrote about me. Their summer/fall catalog contains 64 full-color pages jam-packed with unique stuff for bikers. Their extensive catalog focuses on riding and touring and includes quality books, videos, riding accessories, an expanded camping line, dozens of classic biker movies and a selection of handy tools to carry with you on your next adventure. You can order a catalog by going to their Web site at www.WhitehorsePress.com. Don’t miss it.
HEY BANDIT–My bike was in the November Bikernet Bike Show “In memory of Justin”. It won first place in its class. Every year I put together a poker run and bike show that I call Run For Breath–In Memory of Justin Pullin. The run will be held July 22, here in Charlotte, N.C.
Last year we raised $6,000. At the end of the run there were over 1,000 bikes present. Every year it gets bigger. For more information check our web site www.h-dofcharlotte.com. Hope to see you there.
–Mike Pullin
Harley-Davidson of Charlotte
(704) 847-4647
I’ll be there, Mike.–Bandit
LADIES CHOICE–A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattooartist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her rightthigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him toput “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good.The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with”Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too.As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattooartist asks, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me whyyou had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”
She says, “I’m sick and tired of my husband complainingall the time that there’s nothing good to eat betweenThanksgiving and Christmas!”
LET’S BEAT FEET–The Buell is apart and off to paint. NuttBoy’s ProStreet rolling chassis is off the lift on wheels. We got our stats from last month and we’re hanging at 1.4 million hits a month and 78,000 user sessions. The word on the street is that the largest motorcycle site out there is about to clip its computer power cord. They’re toast.
If that’s the case and you frequent Motorcycle World, let us know what we can do to better Bikernet for you, or what service they provided that you’ll pine away for in the night.
All this business bullshit is just that. Business is a gamble and I’m sure they gave it their best shot. We’re not doing this to be “in business.” It’s what we do ’cause we love motorcycles and it’s a blast and it gives us the freedom to work on bikes and hang out when we’re not starving to death. Sure, I wish I could afford a new truck, but I’d rather have the freedom any day. Besides, if I was tied to a desk, who would be here to meet Sin Wu at noon? Ride forever.–Bandit
June 7, 2001 Part 1
By Bandit |
In the next week we will post an interview with John about the clone industry and his success. Regarding the overall industry, you’ll see below that Harley-Davidson is expanding substantially for the future and its new model/water-cooled engine combination that will be released shortly.
I had a meeting today with a publisher from the cruising market, and all feel that the market, the lifestyle and the road ahead is strong. Let’s get to the news:
QUANTUM UPDATE– Jim Cheal and I attended a bankruptcy hearing in Orlando on June 6 forAmerican Quantum Cycles.
At this hearing, the corporate shell was sold for $66,000. The money willgo into the trustees fund.
At this time priorities are trustee expenses and then employees back pay. Itis expected that this money will be used by the trustee to gain more andhopefully some day it will be enough to pay employees.
— ROGUE
BIKERNET ONGOING BIKE SHOW MAY WINNERS–Enter now, it’s free! All winners receive famous Bikernet show trophies and prizes from: HA Leathers, Crime Inc. shirts, “Orwell” signed books, Samson Exhaust gift certificates or JIMS Components…
In the “Buell” Category
R. Joe Yenik
N. Catasauqua, Penn.
In the “Radical Custom” Category
Matt Burris
Terre Haute, Ind.
In the “Sportster” Category
Chris Wright
Auckland, New Zealand
In the “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Bob Smith
Singapore, Singapore
In the “Vintage” Category
Greg LeBlanc
North Hollywood, Calif.
In the “Pro-Street” Category
David Anderson
Hadley, Mass.and
Rich Santerre
Manchester, Conn.
OLD GEORGE’S PHYSICAL–George’s Physical70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?”
George replied, “God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I’m done.”
“Wow,” commented Dr. Smith, “that’s incredible!”
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George’s wife. “Thelma,” he said, “George is just fine. Physically he’s great. But I had to call because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and?then (poof!) the light goes off?”
Thelma exclaimed, “That old fool! He’s pissing in the refrigerator again!”
Bikernet.com is happy to announce its association beginning this year with the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show produced by Jim Gianatsis and Gianatsis Design, publishers of the popular FastDates.com calendars and Web site. Now the premier streetbike event on the West Coast with an expanded two-day format, the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show draws the top custom bike builders, and bike and product manufacturers from across America. New big rig exhibitor displays are confirmed this year from Drag Specialties, RC Components and Pro One, among some 100 manufacturers. Included are displays by many of America’s premier builders, including Jesse James, Jim Nasi, Paul Yafee and Harold Pontarelli.
Meet Penthouse Pet of the Year Zdenka and Playboy 40th Anniversay Playmate Anna Marie Goddard in person.A previous Iron and Lace Calendar girl Anna Marie Goddard is back in the 2002 FastDates.com Calendars, premiering at our big White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show on July 21-22. Together with Anna will be Penthouse 2001 Pet of the Year Zdenka, SBK World Superbike trophy girl Taylor McKegney, and sexy new calendar girls Amanda Swiston and Marina Pahomova. Plus the beautiful Miss Hollywood Beer from new show beer sponsor, one of the West Coast’s premier micro brewed beers. They’ll be there both days for you to meet and have them personally autograph their new 2002 calendars for you.
But that’s just the beginning! There’s a Bikernet party Saturday night!Saturday will be a special Bikernet day at the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show with the White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, and then at night, aboard the Queen Mary, a fireworks show and party. The party will be centered in the ship’s Observation Bar with a live jazz band and special activities and giveaways hosted by Bikernet.com. Bring your buddies, run your bikes on the dyno, pick up the hot new Iron & Lace and Garage Girls calendars and meet the beautiful models!
MOTORCYCLE CONTEST INFORMATION–$30 registration fee includes: 1.) A free calendar of your choice. 2.) Show admission for the bike owner. 3.) General admission to the Queen Mary, a $46 value if purchased separately. Plus you’ll have a chance to win almost $20,000 in prizes and trophies. Classes for: Radical Pro Custom, Street Custom, Street Performance, Vintage to 1956, Street Classic Post-1956, Street Sportbikes and Racebikes. No pre-entry. No phone calls, please. This is a fun, low-pressure contest.*
Come and enjoy the day. Some winners may be invited to have their bikes photographed for the next year’s calendar. BIKES DO NOT NEED A MIKUNI CARBURETOR TO WIN! The bike contest is only on Sunday the 22nd. Enter from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. the day of the show. All bikes must remain until 5 p.m. show closing.
SHOW INFORMATION–To get to the Calendar Motorcycle Show at the Queen Mary, Long Beach Harbor, Los Angeles:From Interstate 405 in Los Angeles take the I-710 Long Beach Freeway south to the Queen Mary.The 2001 event is July 21, noon to 8 p.m.; July 22, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. A FREE Bikernet.com party and fireworks show onboard the Queen Mary Saturday night at 9 p.m.For additional spectator information and ship hotel reservations, contact
The Queen Mary at (562) 435-3511.Additional details at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm
CANADIAN OIL SHORTAGE–There are a lot of folks who can’t understand how we came to have an oilshortage here in Canada.Well, there’s a very simple answer…
Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn’t know we were gettinglow.The reason for that is purely geographical, all our oil is in Alberta andNew Foundland.All our dipsticks are in Ottawa!
HARLEY-DAVIDSON TO EXPAND IN WAUWATOSA–By THOMAS CONTENTof the Journal Sentinel staffHarley-Davidson Motor Co. is planning a significant expansion of its product development center in Wauwatosa.
The planned expansion comes just four years after the Milwaukee motorcycle manufacturer opened the research and development center at 11800 W. Capitol Drive. The company is hoping to begin construction in July.
The addition is one of three major expansions being considered by the company this year as it pours record profits back into operations in an effort to meet ongoing demand for its motorcycles.The Wauwatosa expansion would add 140,000 square feet to a 218,000-square-foot building.
According to applications submitted to the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources, the addition would enable Harley-Davidson to double the number of testing cells it uses to evaluate engine powertrains.
The company also is planning a 75,000-square-foot office building for engineering and product development workers, plus a 65,000-square-foot expansion of its engine and cycle testing laboratory.
The plans call for adding eight cells to test motorcycle engines that are being developed. The engines are tested for noise, handling and vibration. Vehicle and structural component testing would also occur at the facility once the new engines are placed on test motorcycles.
Harley spokesman Joe Hice wouldn’t comment on how many new employees the company would hire as a result of the expansion.”Harley-Davidson has experienced double-digit growth every quarter literally for the last 15 years, and we expect to continue growing,” he said. “With that growth will be new employment opportunities.”
BIKERNET WELCOMES BROS CLUB–We all need a respectable source for insurance and a place to call if we break down. Now it’s here on Bikernet. I’m already picking up health insurance and having them evaluate my bike insurance.
I’m impressed with their roadside service. If the provider doesn’t show up with the proper tools or doesn’t give you the service you need, they’ll fire the bastards. Dana Coates, the man behind the operation, is constantly monitoring the quality of the service given. Check the site, Dana is always available to give insurance quotes.
NEW PANHEADS FROM CSI–This is a shot of Keith Ruxton (above), the man who built the world’s fastest motorcycle (322.15 mph), standing with his first new 88-inch Panhead engine. Keith developed the Pandamonium for Chrome Specialties. Check out their site. Tomorrow we will release a substantial article on the Panhead project with particulars on American engine components and break-in tips. Watch for it.
Continued on Page 2
July 5, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
THANKS MAN–I WAS RUNNING PRETTY LEAN. POINTS ARE ALL RIGHT BUT I GOT THOSE CHEAP AUTOZONE PLUGS AND I THINK IT LIKES ‘EM A LITTLE HIGHER QUALITY. SO FAR SO GOOD. I HOPE TO GET AN S&S CARB ON IT SOON. THE BENDIX IS PRETTY TEMPERMENTAL. I ALSO RAISED THE FLOAT LEVEL SO THE BOWL FILLED UP A LITTLE MORE AND THAT SEEMED TO HELP. STILL A LITTLE POPPY BUT NOT CONSISTENTLY.
I DON’T MIND, I’D RATHER RIDE ONE OF THESE OLD ONES THAT ARE SIMPLER TO FIGURE OUT AND TAKE APART. AT LEAST YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ‘EM.I APPRECIATE THE INPUT. I HAVE GOTTEN ADVICE FROM YOUR SITE BEFORE AND IT’S THE ONLY PLACE I’VE FOUND WHERE ANYONE KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
SO, RIDE FAR, PARTY HARD AND SLEEP SMILIN’!! YOUR BRO’ SLINGER
We make every effort to answers letters on a daily basis. We may not know what the fuck we’re talking about, but you’ll hear something. –Bandit
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Between The Horse, the bikes, the shop, Bikernet, Sturgis and athousand other things going on, it seems like there’s absolutely no time left.Shit, I can’t complain, I’m doing what I like to do. I hope you will get thesneak preview of the WCC bike this week. (We did, and there’s a tech on it in the garage) It’s locked so no one can see ittill it’s done, except Bikernet visitors (I always hide projects untilthey’re done).
The powdercoaters are taking their sweet time to do my parts.I guess they don’t understand the “schedule,” which means Hurry! Maybe I’lljust polish the damn parts and forget about the black. Anyway, it’s beenraining here so we don’t have to worry about riding, nor sweating our assesoff at the shop.
The “Desertores” did their second run of the summer, over 200 bikes showedup. For 10 bucks you got some goodies, free towing, ambulance service andpolice escort. Dinner was six bucks more. I guess they are showing the localHOG chapter how rides are done, and all the money was donated to the kids.They even had a bus for the broken down riders and tired ass wives. Way togo guys !
A group of friends is riding Route 66, said to report that one of them had anaccident and is in the hospital’s intensive care. They were riding inOklahoma heading to Amarillo, Texas, when his Road King’s front tire blew upand they lost control. He was riding bitch and his girlfriend was steering. Seems like he hit the curb head first. (He had no helmet on, but I humblythink that it could have been worse with a lid.) His girlfriend justsuffered some minor road rash. Witnesses say that she managed to slow thebike down to about 10 mph before both of them were bucked. We are all prayingfor Cucho, we hope you do too. (I don’t have the full details, but Ifigured the more people wishing him well, the better.)
The Horse magazine will be featuring a few choppers from Puerto Rico in thefollowing issues, the first article and girly photos are already at thelayout tableWe hope to keep on doing these for a long time.
Sturgis is less than a month away. We will be riding around and takingphotos. If you are a Bikernet user and see some PR plates, please come overand say hi.
See ya next week.–Jose – Caribbean Custom Cycles, San Juan PR
SPORTSTER HUNT–Thanks Bandit, for going out of your way for me. I am trying to find a bike for my friend’s ol’ lady. She is looking for something that runs good, isn’t chopped out and is about $6,000 or less. Most any Harley, but running, you know what I mean? This is her first bike. Thanks again brother, ride free, Mo, mohd2@altavista.com
MODIFIED LOGO–I wanted to do something for ya’ll at Bikernet for all the great time youhave given me on your Web site, so I did a little graphic manipulation on thelogo and now I’m sending you a copy to see what you think. Gave itsome 3-D type looks and other minor changes. I was killing time at work and thoughtwhat a better way than playing with graphics in Adobe.
By the way….ORWELL was GREAT!Please write more like it soon 🙂
–MikeC
Digital Matrix Systems
Dallas, Texas
It sucks, Mike. Start over.–Bandit
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD– Little Red Riding Hood was packing her things. Her mother asked, ?Where are you going, Lil’ Red??
Red said, ?To grandma’s.? Her mother said, ?Okay,but watch out for the Big Bad Wolf. He’ll pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and freak your little red socks off.?
Lil’Red replied, ?Don’t worry, I’ve got a gun.? So about a mile down the road, Lil’ Red met the Three Little Pigs. Theyasked where she was going and she said, ?Grandma’s house.?
The Pigs warned,?Watch out for the Big Bad Wolf. He’ll pull up your little red dress, pull downyour little red panties and freak your little red socks off!?
She told them, ?Don’t worry, I’ve got a gun.?
About two more miles down the road, the Big Bad Wolf lept out of theforest and grabbed Lil’ Red. He shouted ?Ha! I finally caught you!?
Shecried, ?Don’t tell me you’re gonna pull up my litle red dress, pull down mylittle red panties and freak my little red socks off.?
?Yes I am,? said the Wolf, drooling.
?No, you ain’t,? said Little Red.
?What do you mean,? said the Wolf, taken aback.
Lil’ Red pulled up her little red dress, pulleddown her little red panties, pulled out her big silver gun and said, ?Nope,you’re gonna eat me like it says in the book.?
SUPER-VEE REPORT– Thought I’d bug you about your low opinion of Super Vees. I put some 700 mountain (up to 16,000 feet) miles on it a couple of weekends ago; rain, snow, hail, it just kept on going. 90 mph at 2,700 rpm and don’t even get on the cam till about 2,000 rpm–I have to run a 20 tooth trans sprocket (i.e. sidecar gearing) to be able to get out of second in town or into fourth below 70 mph on the freeway.
First kick starts (kicker only), wet or dry. About 30 mpg and probably leaks more oil than it uses.
I was off on a long run the other day and blew the 11/2″ Primo belt, had to put on a used spare at the side of the road with just my tool roll–in pouring rain! Rode it some 75 miles home then sold the used spare for $50. Now I got two new belts but no idea if either will last more than 1,500 miles. Everything is properly aligned, 1-inch play (cold), no signs of wear, no wheelies or burnouts, open application, pouring rain, blows at 55-60 mph in fourth–go figure! I reckon: too many cubes, too few inches. Have to run chain or 3-inch belt if they keep tearing up on me. Anyhow, the Vee engine just pours out power fast as you open the tap.
The stroker Harleys and Indian I’ve ridden just weren’t in the same ballpark. Long mountain upgrades really test an engine’s ponies; Indians are maybe better than Hogs on hills, but the Vee was tugging at my throttle hand like a pitbull in heat.
–Allan.
THE CREATOR RULES–When the Creator was making the world and all its inhabitants, hecalled man aside. I’m bestowing upon you,” the Creator said, “20years of active sex life.”
Man was dismayed. “Only 20 years?” he protested. “Great One,that isn’t enough. Can’t you add a few more years?”
But the Creator shook his head. It was 20 years or nothing, soman glumly sat down.
The monkey was called forth. He was offered 20 years of activesex life too. But the monkey suggested humbly that 10 years would be quiteenough since he seldom lived longer than that anyway.
Immediately the man leaped up. “Can I have your extra 10 years?”he cried excitedly.
“Of course,” said the monkey graciously.
The lion was then called forth and the Creator made the same offer.Twenty years of active sex life.
The lion gravely shook his mane.”MightyOne,” he roared, “I’m a monogamous animal: therefore, 10 years will beenough for me.” Again, the man stood up.
“Can I have the lion’s sharealso?”he asked eagerly. Both the lion and the Creator agreed, and the man satdown elated.
The donkey was then called up, but when the Creator offered him 20 years, he balked. “Sire,” he brayed, “I want to reserve some timeforeating sweet clover. Ten years is ample time for me.”The Creator nodded, then turned and looked at man. “I suppose youwant his 10 years as well?” Man smirked and nodded.
“So be it,” said the Creator and turned away.
And that is how it came to pass that man has 20 years of activesex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion about it,and 10 years of making an ass of himself.
–Chris T.
STURGIS ALERT–Johnny Pag just told me that he has a five-bedroom house available in Spearfish forthe entire Sturgis week, Saturday to Saturday. If anyone needs it, it is $2,500 forthe week. Contact Kerry at (909) 928-0309.Please put the word out. MNSportie@aol.com
THE COP BIKE BOOK–Buck Lovell is searching for old cop and antique cop bike photos to beused in a book called “Old Cop Bike.” Old Cop will feature manynever-before published photos of police motorcycles and the men who rodethem from 1903 to 1974. The book will feature only black and white photos asfound or contributed by various police agencies and motorcycle historybuffs. If you have an old cop bike photo you can contribute, please send itto:
Buck Lovell
C/O Chrome Pony Marketing
PMB 389
2621 Green River Suite 105
Corona, Calif. 92882-7454
All photos will be returned immediately after scanning………..
SAVAGE DOWN, BUT NOT OUT–Savage Williamson from Easyriders sent the following report. If you are a fan of his excellent writing skills, drop him a note:
Bad news, I’m sorry to report. You have likely noticed that I haven’tbeen e-mailing my columns as usual for the past two months; my capablecolleague Kit Maira at Biker magazine has been filling in for me (again, Kit,I appreciate the hell out of it, bro).
I had hoped this would be a temporary measure, but it turns out thatwhat I’d thought was simple diabetes onset (preliminarily Type II, but nowType I) was actually a symptom of something quite a bit more serious.
The medicos have ascertained a sizeable tumor on my pancreas, and it’salready at Stage 2, rapidly growing to Stage 3. These bastards are alwaysmalignant, and unfortunately pancreatic cancer is the fastest-killing of themall, so I have anywhere from two weeks to perhaps six months left before I maybe doing daisy push-ups. –Savage Williamson, SavageWilliamson@aol.com
ANOTHER STURGIS ROOM ALERT–Hi Guys,If anyone is looking for a room in Sturgis this year, there is another oneavailable. Richard and Ann Harrison will not be able to go this year, buthave a room at the Days Inn in Spearfish. If you’re interested, contact Ann Harrison at okiehamster@aol.com or (405) 751-9257.
–Patty MNSportie@aol.com
CYRIL ANNOUNCES NEW ONLINE STORE–To keep up with the demand for his accessories and the expansion of his online orders, Cyril Huze is proud to announce the launching of a new online store at http://store.cyrilhuze.com. The online store is the result of five months of research and development to improve content, ease of navigation and security of the ordering process.
The new site features a richer content with an expanded line of accessories, a faster navigation with a new parts classification, an easier decision process with each accessory linked to the descriptions and images of related components. Buyers have the ability to create an account with password, to keep personal information on a secure encrypted server for future shopping and the ability to buy with a credit card, by check or money order. After purchasing an accessory, a client can also go back online at any time to check the status of his order from shipping to delivery.
The site was designed by Damien Huze of Huze Solutions (http://www.huzesolutions.com) with the assistance of Steve Wilding for all back end administration programming. The new online store can be accessed directly at http://store.cyrilhuze.com or from Cyril Huze Website at http://www.cyrilhuze.com.
01NR22 – NHTSA MOTORCYCLE SAFETY PLAN REQUIRES YOUR ACTION–Washington, D.C. — Within days of a pro-helmet-law physician being named as its new leader, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration launched a poorly veiled attack on motorcyclists in the form of a plan to enhance motorcycle safety.
?[R]iding a motorcycle continues to be a risky endeavor,? warns the Motorcycle Safety Improvement Plan, published in the June 25, 2001, edition of the Federal Register. ?It is in fact the most hazardous means of travel in the United States.? Now open for public comment, the plan seeks to reduce motorcycle-related fatalities by 5 percent by 2005 ?by making progress in these areas:
?Improved rider and passenger safety
?Safer motorcycles
?Improved motorcycle crash data and analysis
?Safer riding environment.?
The plan reflects the imbalance that has governed thinking in the agency throughout must of its 35-year history, with training taking a back seat to vehicle improvements, more research and more analysis. (See the June 8 MRF MRF RIDERS? ALERT 01NR20 that discusses the revelations in the June 11, 2001, NEW YORKER article). Meanwhile, State Motorcyclists? Rights Organizations (SMROs) and the MRF are in their fifth month of advocating to Congress an aggressive, straight-forward approach to motorcycle safety, including a no-strings resource injection to state-run rider training programs and a national program of enhancing motorist awareness of motorcycles. Throughout the USA, the waiting period for vital safety training often reaches 10 months and more. And, year after year, 6 out of 10 fatalities involving a motorcycle and a car is the fault of the motorist, not the motorcyclist.
SMROs are way ahead of the federal agency in this regard, with motorist awareness training advancing in states like Massachusetts led by the Modified Motorcycle Association of Massachusetts (MMA of Mass.) and a ?Vehicular Assault? statute in Washington state. Championed by a host of groups including the Washington Road Riders Association, the new law prescribes felony penalties for negligent or reckless drivers whose misconduct causes injury. The MMA has filed a lawsuit against the Commonwealth of Massachusetts that, among other issues, seeks Court action to enjoin its Governor’s Highway Safety Bureau from squandering pending public money (its Motorcycle Safety Fund) on such brochures as “How to tell an Unsafe Helmet.” MMA?s goal is to put the money where it belongs by directing the $2 each of the more than 116,000 annual motorcycle registrations into rider education and the promotion and advertising of motorcyclist safety and motorist awareness.
Lobbying for helmet laws tops NHTSA?s list. ?Wearing a helmet that meets the federal safety requirement will save the lives of motorcycle riders,? NHTSA proclaims flatly, citing a study of Texas and Arkansas soundly debunked by ABATE of Massachusetts. ?As NHTSA tracks motorcycle crash experiences in states which repeal their helmet laws, the agency will use the results of Texas and Arkansas studies to publicize the protective value of helmet use. This will position NHTSA to implement similar studies in Kentucky, Louisiana, Florida and other states that may repeal mandatory helmet use laws.?
The agency is also considering revising the federal helmet standard ?to strengthen the standard?s enforcement effectiveness (e.g., to distinguish ?fake? helmets from legitimate helmets).? Mandatory helmet laws and so-called ?standards? for ?enforcement effectiveness? have led directly to widespread abuse of riders? civil rights, as documented forcefully all year by ABATE of Massachusetts.
Is attire control next? The agency announced it will ?partner with appropriate organizations? and embark on a ?five-year protective gear promotion campaign.?
Regarding ?safer motorcycles,? the agency announced intention to study braking technology and ?hopes to use the test data to support its motorcycle brake harmonization proposals? (e.g., linked brakes and anti-lock braking systems).Motorcyclists nationwide must read this document and make their voices heard. This is a draft of the U.S. Government?s plan for your safety. And agree or disagree, in whole or in part you must let this agency and your U.S. Congressman know where you stand. Act today.
Here?s what to do:
1.Read the plan. http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/people/injury/pedbimot/motorcycle/motorcycleimprovement.html
2.Submit written comments not later than August 9, 2001. You must refer to ?Docket Number NHTSA-2001-9595? in your letter:
?via mail (two copies) to Docket Management System, U.S. Department of Transportation, PL401, 400 Seventh Street, S.W., Washington, D.C. 20590-0001.
?Via e-mail by logging on to http://dms.dot.gov. Click on ?help & Information.
GUN OWNERS ALLIANCE !!ALERT!!–H.R. 74 (Jackson-Lee): This bill would amend the Hate Crimes Law to imposea ten-year prison sentence (life imprisonment for serious offenses) forusinga firearm to cause or attempt to cause bodily injury on the basis of, amongother things, the sexual orientation of the victim. In addition, it wouldauthorize increased funding for grants and enforcement.
H.R. 75 (Jackson-Lee): This bill would authorize $100,000,000 a year formentalhealth services for children.
For more info, contact: Chris W. Stark – Director
P.O. Box 1924
Crosby, Texas 77532-1924
Ph. 1-713-202-9548 Fax 1-810-283-7459
http://www.GOA-Texas.org
email: Director@GOA-Texas.org
DEAR ABBY–Dear AbbyMy husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issues. He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught he first denies it all, then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don’t know what to do.
Signed: Frustrated
Dear Frustrated:
Why don’t you move to New York and run for the Senate?
–Kris B.
ODD FACTS– In Scotland, a new game was invented. It wasentitled Gentlemen –Only Ladies Forbidden … and thus the word GOLFentered into the English language.
THAT’S IT–Actually that’s not it, but after last night, that’s all my brain cells can handle. I picked up a new truck yesterday and need to alter it before anyone sees me in a stock truck. It’s actually raining here, the gods must have lost their way. This is the summer, goddamnit.
Sturgis is just around the corner and a new Samson exhaust system just arrived for my riding partner. It’s going to be busy for the next couple of weeks.–Let’s ride–Bandit.
Oz’s Garage Build (Continued)
By Bandit |
Remember to remove the spacers at the rear of the clutch basket before installing the new clutch.
Always lube the plates and friction disks with Primary oil before inserting them into the clutch hub.Finish up with the rest of the drive, according to the manual.
Bolt the outer primary in place, also following the torque pattern, but after installing the tranny top cover and replacing the starter, and this side’s done.
The oil tank can now be replaced. We also went with H-D’s braided oil lines, they fit perfectly and looked very cool.
The cam cover, rocker boxes, and tappet covers go on next.These are very straightforward operations, and, as long as you’recareful and clean, you should have no problems.
We now installed the SE Holley kit.
This operation is covered in the BikernetGarage section in detail, so we won’t go into a step-by-step here. Needless to say, the kit and instructionsmade this job a breeze. At this time, we changed out the ignition module and coil, also covered in the Garage section.
We wanted to lower this ride so we installed H-D’s Low Profile Rear Suspension.This operation, too, is detailed in the Bikernet Garage.
As we told you at the beginning of this story we took the Softail out and put it through its paces.The Holley performed flawlessly and the bike ran hard.
When we got home we rolled it out to take a few shots so that you all could see the before and after.Low, fast and pretty. I’d say that’s a pretty good start.
Now let’s ride. Oz
Back to Oz’s Garage Build Up – We Start Here….
Back to Harley-Davidson on Bikernet….
The Cyril Huze Project
By Cyril Huze |
FLASHBACK
On the night of Jan. 10, 2001, Arlen Ness, Jesse James, Paul Yaffe and I were on different planes to the same destination: the Italian Chopper Custom Bike Show of Padova, near Milan, one of Europe’s most important motorcycle events. I cross the Atlantic a couple times a year, but it had been five years since I walked the streets of Rome, Milan or Firenze. The night flying from one continent to the other is very short because of the six-hour time difference. So when I fly west to east, I never sleep. I am excited like a kid because I love Italy so much. It is the birthplace of so many talented artists who influenced the world with their architecture, fashion and automotive designs. I spend the night drinking too much coffee and chewing peanuts (because I can’t smoke) and reflecting on what my shop has produced during these last months and on what I would like to build the next season. In the U.S., everybody and his brother (plus me!) are building choppers. In Europe, the craze is called bobbers (I would like to make one, too!). But what else to build? I am not supposed to follow trends. I have to surf on them. It’s what people expect from me. Thinking of new projects has always been for me like a sweet torture. So, I torture myself all night.
ESPRESSO ANYONE?
It’s time for breakfast before landing in Milan. “Espresso anyone?” asks the too-sexy Italian-American flight attendant. Espresso at breakfast? Did she say espresso with an S? Or expresso with an X? She said eSpresso. I am thinking eXpresso, like …so Express. That’s it! I’ve got a bike theme. I request my eXpresso, she gives me an eSpresso plus a cool theme for a fast-looking bike. If I weren’t seat belted in because of turbulence, I would jump to kiss her. Hey, of course, it will not be an ode to coffee (although hot java has always been a very good friend when building bikes). A bike with a chopper attitude and a street racer stance. A chopper to race? Attitude and speed would have to be mixed together. Is it possible?
BEFORE DAYTONA – DAYTONA – AFTER DAYTONA.
The time from before to after Daytona is a custom builder’s nightmare. There is too much to do, too much to fix at the last minute, too many people to see at the same time. Expresso is buried in the left side of my brain. The only decision I am able to make is the choice of the frame. It’s an easy choice. Since October, I’ve been teamed up with Peter Penz to market a Softail frame that I named “Kool Kat.”
I sold a lot of frames and rolling chassis, but there’s been no time to produce my full-blown “Kool Kat” custom.
The frame accepts the new Avon 250 mm rear tire with a stock belt. That’s very important when you run a big mill because 1 1/8 belts are a third less strong than 1 ½ inch belts.
The absence of the middle post and the battery relocated in the swingarm gives a lot of room in the rear, making the bike built on this frame look very agile, exactly what I am looking for. I offer this frame in many different geometries (rake from 36 to 44, stretch from 3 to 6 inches, front leg from minus 2 to plus 6 inches). And if that’s not enough, you can add one of our raked triple trees (3-5-7-degree) and you have your own ultra-custom frame. In my shop, I pick one with a 5-inch stretch and 42-degree rake.
EXPRESSO FIRST SKETCHES
The frame high neck gives Expresso the stance I need to mean attitude. Now I need to express(o) speed. It jumps to my mind that it can come from the swingarm. This part of the bike has long been neglected even on sharp customs. Only during the last few years has the swingarm evolved. A lot of custom builders are now going to the single sided swingarm, which looks very cool. But I want something different. Instead of focusing first on the overall shape of the bike, I try to imagine my “speedy” swingarm. I see it pointed in the rear, reaching far behind the axle, with stepping all along. I love computers but I hate to use CAD programs because the learning curve is very steep and usually it’s much easier and faster for me to use a pen and paper to jot down my ideas. But I know in advance that Bob, my master fabricator, is going to turn me down if I don’t bring him a sketch perfectly scaled (hey, he knows how to protect himself). The swingarm is all drawn in my mind but in a few days my briefing will have to be “engineered” as much as possible. I must CAD design this swingarm. Loading the CAD program on my computer gives me the same chill as filling out my tax return…but I have no choice. I spend about eight hours struggling with the keyboard and designing the Expresso swingarm. It’s not perfect, but in line with what I am looking for. From there I go back to paper and pen to make a first sketch of the bike.
INTERNAL AFFAIRS
I am always somewhat nervous when I present my ideas to my crew. Building bikes is not an exact science. Will they be excited? If not, I know it’s going to be a so-so bike. So, evidently, I will not build it. If they are as excited as I am, it’s going to be a great bike. Keeping the excitement alive from the first day to the time the bike is ridden for the first time is part of my job. Custom shops are horizontal structures. Everybody needs everybody. It’s a team effort. Passion is the cement holding us together for ventures lasting many months. I am the composer. My melodies have to first be approved. Then I will write the orchestration and will transform myself into music director. But that is another story.
Thursday is D-day. The crew in charge of this custom project (Bob, Sean, Brigitte) invades my office. I talk for half an hour, show the sketches, suggest a light …… paint job. (No I will not tell you the color right now because I reserve the right to change my mind, my special privilege. Then they give me the magic words: “Nobody’s done it before. That’s cool. We can do it. Let’s do it. When do we start it?”
Monday, of course. We always start on Monday because weekends are made to go somewhere. And it’s always somewhere out of the office that I find new ideas. And I still need a ton of new ideas to make Expresso a great custom. What I gave them is just the first draft.
“Hey, to relax, Sunday let’s ride to South Beach, Miami…” The boys always agree to this one.
Expresso Swingarm
When we start a new custom, there is a tradition that we respect religiously: We always start with what seems to us the most difficult part to fabricate. So, on this Monday morning, the swingarm is the first part of the bike that we lay down on the fabrication table. (a.k.a. the surgery table) The first decisions to make are:
1. The number of steps inside the swingarm.
2. The thickness of each step and which one is thicker (top or bottom?).
3. How the swingarm must look from inside.
It’s my job and responsibility to make these decisions, but I would never obligate my fabricator to do anything without first convincing him, if necessary. Bob is in charge. He agrees immediately with me on the fact that: Steps always look better in odd numbers, so we keep the three steps as they appear on my sketch; The step on top will be higher. Each step must be about half the size of the one just above (to give fluidity to the lines), but the thickness of each step must look the same (as a matter of fact, they have to be a different thickness because they’re welded to the same back plate); Seen from inside the swingarm, no step will be visible because it would visually interfere with the wheel and brake designs.
Our “stock” swingarm is thick. It takes almost an hour for Bob to cut the pieces joining the main tubes of the swingarm — just the time I need to cut cardboard templates of the steps. It’s from these cardboard pieces that Bob cuts three metal pieces that he will adjust inside the swingarm. Then he will duplicate (reversed) these three metal steps for the other side of the swingarm. It’s already 80 degrees at 10 a.m. Bob has a lot of cutting and welding to do and he is already sweating. We close the bay and set the air conditioner at 75. I leave the fabrication room to work on a new chopper that I have to get started. But that’s another story… Bob and I have an agreement: I never come to check what he does. If he is stuck with a problem, he calls me immediately to decide a remedy. But if everything goes fine, he calls me only when the job is done and looks perfect to him. I estimate that the swingarm fabrication is a two-day job, including the cutting, trimming, welding and polishing. Good news — I won’t hear from Bob during these two days, and will resist to the temptation to check the work in progress (which is, for me, very difficult).
Two Days Later
Expresso gets its racy swingarm. We prime it because I hate to see a bike rusting during the fabrication and mockup process. To be sure it’s perfect, we attach it to the frame using Progressive suspension shocks. I immediately see a small imperfection that nobody saw before — a small bump on the lower part of the swingarm, just behind the rear axle. We correct it with a grinder and make a primer touchup. I already dream of mass producing this swingarm in steel or maybe billet aluminum. There’s a typical builder’s dilemma, however: How many need to be CNC machined to make it affordable to the public? How much money can I invest? Low cash flow has always been a custom builder’s main problem…
Expresso Juice
I have always been a fan of small, dry cell batteries. I use them on all my bikes. They can be easily hidden, placed in any position, and in a small package, their cranking power is double that of most standard wet acid batteries. They start big motors when the appropriate starter is used. Most times, I use small Odyssey batteries with 500 CCA and measuring only 6.69 inches long by 7.05 inches wide and 5.04 inches high..
The frame kit that we sell includes a battery bottom plate bolted to the swingarm, and a top cover with slots to make the battery connections accessible. Rubber or metallic straps are enough to hold the battery securely in place inside the swingarm. But the battery still remains visible. Customizing is about hiding what doesn’t deserve to be seen. So, I must make this battery “disappear” as much as possible. I want to conceive a simple system that the motorcycle dealer or individual builder in his garage could easily fabricate.
It doesn’t take more than five minutes to agree with the boys on the kind of battery box to fabricate. Sean volunteers to make it and is already busy measuring the battery again to cut the six steel plates to be used to conceal it from view.
It’s very simple. Instead of using the base plate provided with the frame, the entire box will be bolted to the swingarm. A box is fabricated in such a way that it slides forward. Two small, flat screws will hold it in place. The front plate is conceived in such a way that the connections are not visible. Two holes are made for the battery cables to exit the box. A battery must be charged from time to time, but we don’t need access to the connections to do it. We will charge directly at the starter, which is easier and faster than unbolting the box.
Suddenly I realize that the box must stand perfectly vertical to the ground when the swingarm is in its definitive position with the engine, transmission and primary installed. It means that the portion of the swingarm where the battery box sits must be adjusted to correct the swingarm angle when the bike is on its weight. We postpone this job until we set up the definitive geometry of the frame, which is our next step. We just prime the battery box to keep it rust free.
Hiding the Oil Tank
The Kool Kat frame is sold with a custom stainless steel oil tank, small in size but big in capacity (4 quarts because it doesn’t contain the battery).
Four steel plates are also provided. They have to be welded inside the two openings on each side of the frame, making the oil tank disappear from view when the bike is looked at from profile. These side plates are not identical for each side because of the left kick-out of the frame to accept a 250 mm tire on an 18-by-9 rear wheel.
Frame Geometry
The most frequent questions (at least 15 a day) we receive through e-mail and over the phone, are:
1- I have a frame with such stretch, such rake. How long should my tubes be?
2- I lowered the rear of my bike 2 inches. How much should I rake to keep the bike horizontal?
3- I saw a bike in a magazine with a 10-inch over. I want the same look. How much should I rake my bike?
4- Etc…
The answer is: it depends!
Not all frames are born equal. A 5-inch backbone stretch doesn’t mean the same length on the top tube from one brand to the other. (Don’t ask me why.) The neck of different frames doesn’t stand at the same distance from the ground. Front leg stretch, lowered shocks or adjustable air shocks on a Softail are examples of other parameters that affect the geometry of a frame, its distance from the ground, and the overall look of the bike. When people require a 10-inch over front end, it means 10 inches over stock. But stock Harley bikes, depending on the model, have different front end lengths!
So, here’s how I set up the geometry of Expresso. I like my bikes to be a compromise between look and function. It means high enough to be rideable, and low enough to look good. I like them when they sit at 4 3/4 inches from the ground (meaning from the ground to the lower portion of the lower tube of the frame). It’s the distance I want when the bike carries all its components, with a biker of average weight seated on it. When the bike I customize is a dresser with floorboards, I increase this distance to 5 inches minimum. Same when it’s a two-seater.
On this project, I use Progressive Suspension shocks. I attach the swingarm to the frame and bolt the shocks to the frame and swingarm. I install the 18-by-9 rear wheel equipped with an Avon 250-by-40-by-18. (At this stage I am not preoccupied by the fact that the wheel is or is not perfectly centered in the frame) We mock up the bike with cases (our engine is not ready yet), a transmission, a starter, an inner primary and all the main components available in the shop to be close to the weight that the bike will have to carry. I take measurements and I realize that the Kool Kat frame with stock height shocks sits 5 inches from the ground. I know because the lower tube of the frame is parallel to the lift table when we put two pieces of wood, 4-by-4 plus 4-by-1, on the front and back of the frame.
Now we have to figure out the tube length to keep the bike parallel to the ground. First, Sean installs a triple tree. Then we lock a 21-inch wheel in the vise of the lift (with a piece of wood covered with carpet on each side of the tire to avoid scratching the rim). We run one neon tube through one of the holes of the triple tree, and move the frame on the table until the tube crosses the center of the axle of the front wheel (the opposite can be done, not moving the frame, by moving the front wheel back and forth, but it’s difficult to keep the front wheel from moving while taking measurements). Now I measure the total front end required. It’s the distance from the top of the triple tree to the center of the front axle. It’s exactly 34 inches. Now it’s easy to figure out the tube length I need. Because tubes sit about 7 ¾ inches from the bottom of the lower legs, I need tubes 26 1/4 inches long (Front end 34 inches – 7 3/4 inches).
At the shop, we always keep tubes in different lengths. All have internals (springs, seals, etc., pre-installed so that we don’t lose time when mocking up a bike). For information, 26 ¼ inch-long tubes are 2 inches over FXDWG stock tubes (24 ¼ inches).
I install the tubes in the lower legs, slide the front end in the triple tree and lock it. We tie down the bike in front (not under heavy pressure because we need to lift the bike to remove the pieces of wood under the frame). Our last exercise of the day is to jump on the bike to unfreeze the swingarm, and then to “ride” the bike on the lift to check again the distance from the ground. Sean is 195 pounds, quite a few pounds heavier than me. So, he “test rides” the bike while I take measurements. I am all smiles when I realize that the bike sits perfectly at 4.75 inches from the table, front and rear.
It’s 7 p.m. Sean proposes to celebrate with a cup of coffee at Starbucks, not far away from the shop. I know why. It’s this time of the day when pretty secretaries must do last minute photocopies at Kinko’s. And Kinko’s are always located next door to Starbucks. Or the opposite. Whatever. Sean is single again. Let’s make Sean happy. I’m gonna drink my eighth cup of coffee of the day, and probably go back to the shop to read my e-mails. Any questions?
Expresso Rear Fender
It seems that pointed rear fenders became my trademark. Not that I don’t like round fenders, short or long. We fabricate a lot of them, too. But my most recent bikes “Dreamliner” & “High Octane” had pointed fenders that were “imposed” by their themes. Since these 2 bikes are well known, everybody’s thinking: pointed fender = Cyril Huze.
When I think of “Expresso” it’s difficult for me to imagine something else than a sharp fender matching our already fabricated pointed swingarm. So, I guess that when the bike will be finished, I am going to reinforce my stereotype. It’s Ok with me because my next project is going to be very, very different. I like change. The boys too.
Anyone showing a bike with a pointed fender will tell you the same thing. Everybody, and I repeat everybody, is going to check: 1- if the pointe is centered on the tire 2- Move the fender right and left to see if the fender is strong enough to not vibrate. No way you can cheat with this kind of fender: 1- symmetry must be perfect 2- fender need to be “boxed” not to vibrate and crack the paint.
Before starting fabricating any fender, the most important step, the one conditioning success or failure, is to mock up the bike the way it’s going to ride: with 2 wheels aligned and perfectly centered in the frame. For the rear fender, we must mock up the bike with an engine (fake or not), a primary, a transmission, a rear wheel perfectly centered in the frame, and a belt adjusted at the right tension. Usually it’s the step of bike building when things begin to get scratched. Tape being less expensive than chrome, we tape, tape, and tape again all what is called chrome & polished aluminum. I recommend you do the same. You can trust us about this one.
First, we estimate what is the position of the wheel to be centered in the frame. For this, we mark the center of the 250 mm tire. Then, we run a thin blue (for visibility) painter masking tape along the frame backbone to the center of the tire. Any slight bend, and you know that the wheel is off center, and or turning right or left. When our eyes tell us we are close to the truth (for now it’s only an estimation), we lock the wheel in place and cut a right spacer.
Because we are going to use a drive side pulley rotor by RC Components (where pulley is also the rotor), we bolt it on the wheel, wrap the belt around the pulley, find the right tension of the belt, and lock the wheel in place. We measure the distance from the swingarm pivot to the center of the rear axle. Of course, distance must be the same for both sides (don’t rely on the position of the axle in right and left slot of the swingarm, because some frames can have these slots incorrectly machined and not the same size on both sides). On the left side, we measure the spacing to the pulley/rotor and from the pulley rotor to the wheel. We cut 2 spacers and install again the wheel with its brake drive system. (Later a custom pulley spacer will replace the spacer from pulley to wheel). We reinstall the wheel and pulley brake system, adjust again the belt tension, and measure again the distance from swingarm pivot to rear axle center, on right & left side. Our wheel seems centered. We check again running 2 steel plates on each side on the tire going forward. After being sure that these 2 plates run parallel, using vertical plates against the frame, we measure the distance to the frame, right and left side.
Since we had to mock up the rear of the bike to know the exact position of the wheel before fabricating the rear fender, we take advantage of this mock up to check if our pulley spacing is correct. We lift the rear of the bike with 2 4×4 pieces of wood under the frame, and give the wheel several rotations forward and backward. We observe the belt running on the pulley. It doesn’t want to go off the pulley. Of course, the belt (1 ½ inch) clears the tire on 1 side and the frame left side plate on the other side. Our wheel is perfectly in place. We lock tightly the wheel. (You don’t want it to move during the fabrication process, or be ready for bad surprises: tire too close or too far away from fender, fender not following curve of tire, etc…). Yes, it happens. Trust us again about this one. Now, we can start the rear fender fabrication.
Even when we build a solo seat bike, we make our rear fenders strong enough to carry a passenger. We are very understanding of our clients: we know that may leave alone, then need to ride back with a passenger…Anything wrong with fabricating a fender stronger that it should be for a solo rider. It’s the reason why all our fenders have internal struts. These struts are quite difficult to make for a pointed fender. As starting point, we want to use the slots in the frame where classic parallel struts are supposed to slide in.
But I immediately realize that a curve starting from this position will not follow perfectly the curve of the tire. So, I cut a piece of cardboard extending rearward the frame sideplate. Using a flexible steel rod, and using the tire as a reference, I draw a curve and cut the cardboard to know the extra piece we have to add to the frame side plates. From there, 2 thick rods will be welded and will join each other where I want the rear fender to end: 1 inch behind a vertical line going through the end of the swingarm.
No English wheel to fabricate this fender. No aftermarket fender to start from. Just 2 sheets (because this fender is going to be “double wall”) of 14 gauge steel hammered and hammered during half a day until Sean gets the shape I want.
Not only our fender is very thick, but also Sean reinforces it with 2 steel lips. “Boxed” this way, no chance the fender will ever vibrate or crack the paint. Sean, who was 195 pounds before hammering it, and 190 pounds after, is finally authorized to sit on it. As strong as stone can be. I joke that we are very safe because nobody with such a bike is going to go back home with a girl his weight.
Time for spraying cheap primer. Because as everybody knows: I hate rust.
Pet owners look like their favorite pets. I guess my bikes look like me. A projection of my personality (many sides, meaning many bikes), plus the client input. Expresso is a spec bike. So I can do what I want!
The motorcycle trend is toward FAT. Fat everything: tires, wheels, front ends and gas tanks. But I don’t like fat gas tanks. They make the bike look heavy and destroy the speed effect that everybody is looking for when stretching the bike. I love rear ends muscled by fat wheels & tires, but I think it looks better when the gas tank is slim and stretched to the extreme. Fuel capacity is not my main preoccupation either. So, we are going to fabricate a one-off gas tank narrow, with a lot of arch, stretched as much as we can.
At CHC, we custom make gas tanks in 3 & 5-inch stretch for cruisers and choppers. In the fabrication room, they are laid down upside down on a bench waiting for the last cosmetic welds before being shipped to our clients. Vision of steel seagulls! We pick one in 5 inch stretch and check on the bike to see how much stretch we can add: 1 inch.
Our extension is going to be a “dry” extension, meaning no gas will be in this part of the gas tank. It would be of no interest to make it a “wet” extension because no fuel valve can be installed at such a low place: the petcock would interfere with the rear rocker box!
A Hot Match pop up gas cap is welded and then we do a fast priming of the new gas tank
A 16-gauge piece of steel is folded around the lower part of our existing tank, and then formed around the frame top tube, and then tig welded.
Another 16-gauge sheet of steel is U shaped on the top tube to create a 1-piece bracket with a 4-point mount system. A cardboard template is used to match the curve of the bracket with the lower curve of the gas tank.
After checking the definitive position of the gas tank (I like to keep a big open space between the front of the gas tank and the frame neck), 2 holes are tapped on the top of the frame backbone and the bracket is bolted on. The bracket mounting holes are equipped with stock factory rubber grommets.
Most gas tanks look like an added piece on the frame. This is evident when you look at the gas tank from the front. We need to fill the gap between the 2 halves of the tank. A steel piece is cut to fill the gap, then curved and welded to the backbone.
A slight gap is kept between the plate and each side of the tank. Making it perfectly flush at this time would create big problems later when the bike is painted & cleared. Later, at molding time, a perfect fit will be done. Now our custom gas tank looks like it belongs to the bike.
It’s time to compare the bike in progress and the initial sketch. We are on our way…
Seat Pan
One thing I learned when I was head judge in the Rat’s Hole Show in Daytona and Sturgis is that a seat is often the weakest part of many very well built motorcycles. I am not talking about the color used or even the material employed. I am talking about the seat not fitting perfectly to the frame, not being symmetric or being afflicted with wrinkles because of poor seat pan preparation.
Some upholstery shops do seat pans. Others refuse and will do only the pure upholstery job. My opinion is that the bike builder should prepare a pan for a custom seat. A seat pan being “part” of the frame, it’s our responsibility to make it right. Steel pan or fiberglass? It’s very controversial. We do both and each has advantages and disadvantages. Steel pans require metal fabrication skills to make them fit perfectly to the rear fender. The pan must be very smooth when doing thin seats, like on most top custom motorcycles. If not, all imperfections, sooner or later, are going to push the foam (even high-density foam) and create weird wrinkles and crooked stitching lines. Fiberglass seat pans don’t require any particular skills and can be built by any builder working in his garage. Fiberglass can easily be smoothed out to create a perfect base and sanded for perfect adjustments. The danger is that fiberglass seat pans have a tendency to retract when curing (usually the first 48 hours), creating an imperfect fit to the rear fender (back of the seat pan retracting). But there are several ways to avoid or correct this problem. Because this story is about helping the largest number of non-professional builders, we decided to show a fiberglass seat pan fabrication.
To get started, buy 2 gallons of fiberglass at the closest auto store, find two paint brushes (no, you will not be able to reuse them) and a roll of foil. Cut a piece of thin cardboard for the sitting part. Cover it with foil and continue up the fender (no cardboard is used on the fender part of the seat because cardboard will never fit perfectly to a curved shape). Be generous with the foil, covering more than the seat area. Cut pieces of fiberglass cloth to imitate the shape of the seat. Then, using a brush, soak the fiberglass cloth with resin. Let it dry 24 hours. The day after, do a second coat of resin using extra hardener for fast curing. Wait 24 hours more. Then with a thin felt pen, you can draw your seat. To trace a perfect curve for the back seat, I use …my welding rod.
Remove the pan and give it its definitive shape by cutting it with a small cutting wheel. To be certain that the back seat has a perfect symmetry, we cut a piece of paper imitating the back seat. We fold it in half. Right away, we know where the cutting wheel has to work again against the fiberglass. Sand the top of the pan for a smooth finish.
To hold the seat in place, it’s very simple. The pan being installed on the frame, drill two holes in the front at the place where the front tube extends to the seat. Drill through the fiberglass. We drill only one hole through the fiberglass in the back fender. Then we fiberglass three button head bolts into the three holes. Your seat can now be dropped into place. It will never move while riding and it will not need any tool to be removed. Our seat pan fits like a glove.
Each step of the building process is important, but one of the most critical is the frame preparation before the paint job. At this stage, we must check that all parts are fitting together and make any brackets or holes in the frame. Because when the paint is dry, it’s too late to make any modifications. Or it’s going to be very, very costly.
First, we need to make two slots in front of the rear fender to be able to bolt and unbolt the custom oil tank.
I don’t intend to do extra fabrication on the front tubes to hide the voltage regulator. Because I don’t like regulators held on a bracket in front of the engine mount, I decide that it should be “buried” somewhere else.
The best hiding place is in front of the custom battery box that we fabricated. Because the box we made fit the dry cell battery very tightly, we cannot bolt the regulator from inside the box. So we weld a block of steel, tap two holes in it and bolt on the regulator from outside.
It means that we will have to route the regulator wiring through the left lower frame tube, up to the engine. For this, we drill two holes, one to enter in the frame, one near where the alternator will be plugged to the engine.
Usually I like rear brakes to be placed in a 12, 3, 6, or 9 PM position around the rotor. Because of the unusual shape of our swingarm, it seems that none of these positions works properly. The rear brake seems to “compete” visually with the flowing lines of the swingarm. After many tries, it seems to me that the 5 PM position is the best. The boys approve. So we custom make an anchor rod running parallel to the belt. A hole is tapped inside the swingarm to connect the brake to the frame.
We always custom make our brake and clutch lines; we buy bulk lines and install the fittings ourselves. This is something we will do at final bike assembly. We just need to know in advance how we are going to route these lines. We will have a hydraulic clutch control, so we can route the line through the frame tubes without fearing bends like with a cable clutch. A hole is made in the left front tube for the clutch line to enter. Another hole is made at the exit of the line, just under the side transmission fitting.
For the rear brake line, a hole is made near the master cylinder with the line jumping to the left side through the frame cross section and back to the rear brake.
Because the bike will have no turn signals, only a headlight and my new L.E.D side mount tag with a run/brake light (picture of the 1st prototype), the electrical system is quite simple.
The ignition/kill switch will be on the left side incorporated in a coil bracket, and the bike will be started with a switch from Cycle Engineering installed directly on the starter.
It’s almost time to have the frame molded and prepared for paint. I review the frame in detail, writing all instructions directly on the frame: welds to be grinded, sections to be reworked with filler, shapes to be molded, etc…
For the first time in eight weeks, Expresso is going to leave the shop for a one-week beauty treatment.
Oz’s Garage Build
By Bandit |
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 I was sittin’ around listening to Bandit and Zebra go at each other again, over some b-s detail, and thinking’ that I’d probably be doin’ the world a favor to just blow both of them away, when it hit me. We’ve all read about the Bikernet West versus Bikernet East build up. We heard about how much trouble Zebra had getting his ride over to Eddie Trotta’s, and Bandit gettin’ the Blue Flame over to Joker machine for a little tweak. I couldn’t help but think, “What’s the guy do whose only got his garage and hand tools?” Whatta ya do when you’re snowed in up in Maine, or there isn’t a high line custom shop within a days ride? I started to get steamed, “Bikernet’s for the rider, dammit!” “We need to show our folks a way to build a cool lookin’ ride when they don’t live close to a famous custom builder.” “Yea, right,” said Zebra, “how’re you gonna manage that?” I jumped to my feet, threw my Pepsi can against the wall, watched it bounce off Snake’s head, and announced, “I can build a hot custom using nothing more than Harley-Davidson’s accessory catalog and my credit card!” Every eye in the garage shifted my way, quiet laid over the shop like a blanket, Bandit fixed me with a cool gaze, “You’re on.” “Oh, crap,” I thought, “now what?” Luckily, I had just made the deal of the century on a 2000 FXST.
 That will be the starting point for what’ll be called Oz’s Garage Build-up. What we’ll attempt to do here is create a custom that anybody would be proud to ride and own, but we’ll do it as if we were living in some remote corner of the country. With no access to anything other than the H-D Accessories and Motor Parts Catalog and the main line shipping companies.
 We’re going to build this thing completely in my garage, no mills, no paint shops, no welders, and see what we can come up with. Wish us luck, if I screw this up I may end up living in Maine!
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Phase one is together and on the road, which is a minor miracle considering the near-flood conditions that have been plaguing us lately. You know, when I started this project, the premise was that we wanted to do a build-up that attempted to duplicate the plight of our brothers and sisters that didn’t live in the custom bike mecca of Southern California, and were forced, either by geography or weather, to do all their work in their garages. Little did I know, when I started, that the weather gods would provide SoCal with a first hand glimpse of what it was like to live in a less hospitable climate, and make my theoretical project into a real life experience. Yesterday was our first day of sunshine in a month, and, as soon as I saw it, I shoved the Softail out of the garage and hit the road for the shakedown run. It ran like a charm, then back to the garage for a few minor adjustments, and down the highway we went. I gotta tell you, I’ve got a new appreciation for you folks that live in rain and snow country, but now let’s get to the build-up. With this first phase we’ve concentrated on basic performance and appearance. We’ve all heard the old saw about “chrome won’t get you home,” but if you’re building a custom it’s hard to get around the fact that shiny stuff makes things look better.
 We replaced the inner and outer primaries, rocker boxes and cam cover and trans top and side covers. As you can see the quality is perfect, and, being from the Motor Company, the fit was exact.
 As far as our initial performance work, we chose the 1450 Stage 1 kit. The kit includes the Screaming Eagle Holley Performance Induction kit, the SE 6200 RPM Ignition, and the SE-II Mufflers. We’re still waiting for the mufflers to arrive, but they’re due in the next few days. We’re planning on doing a more aggressive performance package in the future, so we chose to also install a Screaming Eagle clutch kit at this time.
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We started with the primary first. This operation requires the most work so it made the most sense to begin here. One of the things that will dress up a ride in a hurry is a chrome inner and outer primary. Obviously, first you gotta get the old one off. Remove the outer primary, and the primary chain assembly, clutch and basket.
 This is a little more trouble with a Softail since it’s necessary to remove the oil tank.
 This is the only way to get the starter loose. Moving the starter out of the way will also help when installing the tranny top cover. Bolt the inner primary in place, following the torque pattern in your service manual, and re-assemble the primary drive.
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Remember to remove the spacers at the rear of the clutch basket before installing the new clutch.
Always lube the plates and friction disks with Primary oil before inserting them into the clutch hub. Finish up with the rest of the drive, according to the manual.
Bolt the outer primary in place, also following the torque pattern, but after installing the tranny top cover and replacing the starter, and this side’s done.
The oil tank can now be replaced. We also went with H-D’s braided oil lines, they fit perfectly and looked very cool.
The cam cover, rocker boxes, and tappet covers go on next. These are very straightforward operations, and, as long as you’re careful and clean, you should have no problems.
We now installed the SE Holley kit.
This operation is covered in the Bikernet Garage section in detail, so we won’t go into a step-by-step here. Needless to say, the kit and instructions made this job a breeze. At this time, we changed out the ignition module and coil, also covered in the Garage section.
We wanted to lower this ride so we installed H-D’s Low Profile Rear Suspension. This operation, too, is detailed in the Bikernet Garage.
As we told you at the beginning of this story we took the Softail out and put it through its paces. The Holley performed flawlessly and the bike ran hard.
When we got home we rolled it out to take a few shots so that you all could see the before and after. Low, fast and pretty. I’d say that’s a pretty good start.
Now let’s ride. Oz
May 31, 2001 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued from Page 1
BROTHER ATTENDED MEMORIAL DAY CELEBRATION IN ARLINGTON– I was fortunate enough to be able to observe the laying of the wreath at the National Memorial Cemetery in Arlington, Va., on Memorial Day, and I’ll tell all of you that there were not too many dry eyes in the crowd (including mine). It was a great day for me. After coming home and reading this, I knew I had to share it with all my friends.
Friend and Shipmate,
Dan
TAPS– We have all heard the haunting song, “Taps.” It’s the song that gives us that lump in our throats and usually creates tears in our eyes. But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you will be pleased to find out about its humble beginnings.
Reportedly, it all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was with his men near Harrison’s Landing in Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land. During the night, Capt. Ellicombe heard the moans of a soldier who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the captain decided to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the captain reached the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment. When the captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead. The captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his own son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war broke out. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate Army. The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial despite his enemy status.
His request was only partially granted. The captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. But, out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him only one musician. The captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth’s uniform. This wish was granted. The haunting melody we now know as “Taps”, used at military funerals, wasborn.
BROS CLUBS JOINS BIKERNET– We now have roadside service and insurance programs at your fingertips on Bikernet. I’m in the process of having all my insurance re-quoted from Bros Club. If they do a better job, they’ll have all my business.
Regarding the roadside service, check it out. We all break down from time to time or need some help. AAA will not pick up bikes and I’ve been a member for 20 years, so fuck them.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON SUPPORTS VIETNAM VETERAN INITIATIVES WITH $100,000 DONATION–Harley-Davidson Motor Co. announced support of two Vietnam veteran initiatives with a $100,000 donation made at the culmination of the Rolling Thunder XIV motorcycle rally in Washington, D.C., on Sunday.
A $50,000 contribution was made to the American Battle Monuments Commission to help fund a congressionally authorized memorial plaque at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., honoring veterans who died after their service in the Vietnam War, but as a direct result of that service.
Another $50,000 contribution was made to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund to help support the Traveling Wall, a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and The Wall That Heals, Traveling Museum and Information Center, which visits communities throughout the U.S.
“On behalf of Harley-Davidson and our many employees, dealers and customers, we are proud to support these noble efforts honoring the service of Vietnam veterans,” said Jim McCaslin, president of Harley-Davidson Motor Co.
Harley-Davidson has a long history as a U.S. military supplier. The company’s motorcycles were first used for dispatching and scouting during border skirmishes on the Mexican frontier in 1916. During the first year of U.S. military involvement in World War I, approximately half of all the company’s motorcycle production went to the military. During World War II, Harley-Davidson produced approximately 90,000 military motorcycles.
More than 14 percent of Harley-Davidson’s U.S. employees are veterans of the U.S. military, and many of Harley-Davidson’s dealers and customers have also served.
Harley-Davidson salutes the nation’s veterans every year on Veteran’s Day, Nov. 11, by hosting special events at its Kansas City, Milwaukee, and York, Pa., facilities.
HORSEPOWER REPORT FROM AUSTRALIA–Sent you a couple of e-mails in the past. Heaven sent ’47 Knuckle, 200 tyrein a stock Twin Cam swingarm, 12.9s from an ’88 Twin Cam for $1,000, etc.Live in a place called Alligator Creek, Queensland, Australia. It is around15 miles from Mackay, Queensland. This district has the largest number ofHarleys per capita. Only 100,000 people in the district and the localHarley shop, Mackay Motorcycles, has sold over 500 Harleys.
The dyno belongs to Steve Gay, Cylinder Head Development, phone 0749521611. It is a 1200 hp 1200lb ft Baker Bros engine dyno with D Pak dataaquisition gear. The shop normally does drag race engines for cars andoffshore marine racing engines. The bike owner had his car engine built atthe shop and was so impressed he asked them to do his new twin cam heads.The story was published in issue 224 of Oz Bike. Second part of the storywas never published when the bike went 12.0’s with a 95 kit, ported stockvalve original TC heads, Zippers red shift cam but still with the standardCV carb. For Stage 3, the twin cam has since been fitted with big Manleyintake valves, ported extensively, fitted with a home made webber set upand is now making 133 hp at 6300 rpm and 125 lb ft at 4800 rpm. Beforebeing dynoed it ran 11.66 at 114.5 mph with the webber so far out of tunethat it turned a brand new set of plugs dark brown in one run and cut outcoming down the return road. It was making around 110 hp at the back wheel.
The twin cam owner, Gavin Cass, was aware of my computer modellingprograms. He asked what I could do regarding the Harley. Gave him a recipefor 137 hp at 6500 rpm. Told him the size of the valves needed, the airflowat .500″ lift, the cam specs, the compression, etc. required. To dyno theengine, Gavin used a chev bellhousing and adaptor plate to mount to Steve’sstrainer. Inside the bellhousing is a custom made flywheel with a clutchplate and ring gear.
In nearly all cases where one of my computer matched combos is duplicatedmore horsepower than predicted is found. Eg a 480 hp recipe makes 505hp.By rights if the program predicts 137 hp, would expect 140 hp to beachievable. The computer doesn’t know what brand is on the tappet cover orif the motors a single cylinder or V12. If you put accurate info in, itspits out reliable details to build by. Let me know when you want a choosea cam that’s perfect for your bike?
–Bob “Secret Squirrel” Kotmel
Biker horseshoes–must piss off the ladies
HOLLISTER REPORT– More than just the weekend! Bolado Park will be open Fourthof July. Go to
FACTS FROM THE BIKERNET ARCHIVES OF HIGHER LEARNING– Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had awhistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When theyneeded a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle,” is the phraseinspired by this practice.
–Jerry Heller
SHOVELHEAD SAVES MAN’S LIFE–Read the story “Return” by Jim Hubbard and find out how one motorcycle pulled this brother back together.
ULTRA MOTORCYCLE COMPANY FILES CHAPTER 11– Ultra filed a petition for relief under Chapter 11 bankruptcyon May 21, 2001. The filing was necessitated by the threat of a foreclosuresale scheduled later that day by the company’s secured creditor. UMC statesit is continuing all normal business operations and will continueuninterrupted services to its dealers and customers….
JULY 9 IS GUN BURNING DAY AT UN–It is “Small Arms Destruction Day” on July 9, 2001. Plans are underway for government agents to ignite huge bonfires of handguns, rifles and other firearms in major population centers worldwide.
No joke. The United Nations Conference on Small Weapons is sponsoring massive gun burnings on July 9 to mark the openingin New York of the UN Conference on Illicit Trade in Small Arms and Light Weapons. Organizers of the conference say “thepublic destruction of weapons” is good because it “is one of the best ways to attract attention” to global civilian disarmament.
Whose guns will be burned? Privately held weapons that have been captured or confiscated by governments, of course. But certainly not the guns held by governments and their armies, police forces and death squads.
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Hey, another week goes by and it’s still raining down in the Caribbean. Summershowers are a bitch, but they will plenish our water supply for thecoming months.Funny how things are, I’m reading the 30th anniversary EasyRiders and happento see a photo of a chopper, so happens we own that litlle chopper, with afew changes that we have done in the past years, but the same bike. Webought it from a trade in that Bourget’s got a few years ago. Nice oldschool chopper, in the magazine it was called Fatal Attraction. I checkedmy old magazines and found the whole shoot for it, so I went and took somephotos, here they are.
The annual Jack Daniels BBQ competition will take place the 24th of June,in Parque Luis Mu?oz Marin, as for the past six years this will be an eventthat all bike riders participate in. Give us a call at the shop if youhappen to be arounf PR or just for info.
Next weekend the HOG South ride will take place. It’s an overnight rideinto the mountains and then to the southern town of Ponce for the party. Sunday we ride back to San Juan.
Talked to my buddy, Mike Maldonado, he’s back and stronger than ever, evenhas his own Web site www.heavycyclecustoms.com, its still under constructionbut some photos of his super cool bikes are already there.
Plans are already rolling for the next Caribbean Rally, in November. Therally starts on a Thursday and it’s over by Saturday night. Caribbean CustomCycles and Harley-Davidson of San Juan (Motorsport) are planning to do theFirst Caribbean Bike Show Sunday, all day…. Any info e-mail us.
Oh well,,,,,, back to work, get some progress on the choppers and get thattrailer ready for Sturgis……Take care.
–Jose
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley when hespotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop.The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a lookat his bike.The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey doc, can I ask you a question?”
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanicworking on the motorcycle.The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So doc,look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix ’em, putin new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one.So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you andI are doing basically the same work?”
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to themechanic….. “Try doing it with the engine running!”
MIKE LICHTER PHOTO EXHIBITION IN STURGIS–The Journey Museum in Rapid City, S.D., will host a photography exhibition by Michael Lichter titled “Biker Generation.” The images, which include many of Michael’s best-known works from 20 years of photographing the biker lifestyle, will be on display from Aug. 4 through Sept. 3, 2001. Thirteen of the finest custom motorcycles by some of the most famous bike builders in the world will be on display with the photographs in the gallery as well as in the museum atrium from Aug. 4-11, 2001.
An opening reception with Michael Lichter and most of the participating builders is scheduled for Aug. 7 from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. The builders include Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James, Fred Kodlin, Billy Lane, Bob McKay, Jim Nasi, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Ron Simms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffe. This reception will be free and open to the public.”Biker Generation” is timed to coincide with the 61st annual Bike Week in Sturgis during which more than 500,000 bikers congregate in the Black Hills. This is The Journey Museum’s first exhibition with a motorcycle theme. Given that motorcycling is integrally tied with the history of the Black Hills and that the Journey’s mission states that the museum will “serve as a forum to preserve and explore the heritage of the cultures of the Black Hills region,” the show was considered a perfect fit.
The Journey Museum is open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily; Aug. 4-11, the museum will remain open until 6 p.m. The museum is located at 222 New York St., two blocks east of the Rushmore Plaza Holiday Inn and the Civic Center where Harley-Davidson is headquartered. The normal museum admission of $6 has been reduced to $5 (kids 10 and under are free) during Bike Week; it includes admission to the entire museum and this special exhibition.
A WIFE AND HER HUSBAND– were having a dinner party for all the highsociety people in town. To show how classy they were, she decided atthe very last minute that snails should be served, but all the storeswere closed. So, she asked her husband to run down to the beach withthe bucket she was handing him to gather some snails. Very grudginglyhe agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps,and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed abeautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little furtherdown the beach. He kept thinking to himself, “Wouldn’t it be great ifshe would come down and talk to me.”
He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up,and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got totalking, and she invited him back to her apartment a little ways downthe beach. When they got there, they started fooling around. It gotso hot and heavy that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out.
At 6:30 the next morning, he woke up and yelled, “Oh my gosh! Mywife’s dinner party! She’ll kill me!!” He gathered all his clothes,put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket of snails and ran out thedoor.
He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. As he startedrunning up the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. Snails wentflying and were all over the stairs. Just then the door opened andhis angry wife was standing there wondering where he’d been allthis time.
He looked at the snails scattered on the steps, then looked at her,then back at the snails and said, “Come on little guys, we’re almostthere!”Las Vegas sign
JIMS NATIONAL DUE TO ROCK LAS VEGAS–The dates for the races are Oct. 19-21. Hordes of bikers will be riding out from Los Angeles to the meet. Racers from all over the country will be competing. From all accounts, it’s a first class event. We’ll keep you posted as we get closer.
THE SMOKEY MOUNTAIN SMOKE-OUT– is planned for July 13-15 inCherokee, N.C. Yes, that is Friday the 13th – so break out the green Krylonpaint, spray your choppa and head out.
The Horse staff will be having dinner at the Harrah’s Cherokee Casinoall-you-eat buffet at 7 p.m. Friday. There is special “motorcycleonly” parking in front of the casino so that we don’t have to walk a longway, like the less fortunate, little people who don’t ride a chopper. GOTO THE BUS ENTRANCE where THE HORSE will have a table set up to give HORSEreaders a break on dinner and some gambling tokens. Check –Edge I’M OUTTA HERE–The Buell is in pieces in preparation for the run to Sturgis. We’ve stripped off some of the linkage and headlight brackets for chroming. We may end up taking the tripe-trees off for plating or powder. We have an assortment of Joker Machine accessories ready to install. Phil Stadden is already working on the plastic-metal paint and we’re arguing over the color scheme. The Buell makes it easy to look forward to the ride. Goddamnit, it’s already June and half the year is gone. Hang on, it only speeds up from here.As of tomorrow, some time everyday will be dedicated to writing my next book, that is, unless a woman gets in the way. Let’s ride–Bandit