BIKERNET NEWS–HARLEY-DAVIDSON JUMPS OUT OF THE SUPERBIKE RACESI was knocked out by the news that Harley-Davidson has jumped out of the Superbikes races, but you know that they always have a plan. I was surprised since they just launched the V-Rod. Rumor has it that they are working on an even faster engine, and it is also suspected that they may use the VR-1000 in drag racing because they are taking a harder look at what they can do for the drag racing fans. Like I said last week, we’re in this business because we love it and the lifestyle. If we didn’t, we’d build compact cars, hand-held computers and magazines for tattooed brides. In the news this week, we have announcements on the Love Ride, new art and old musicians in the biker industry. Behind the news is the rumors about Prime Media (Hot Bike) buying and changing E-map (Hot Rod Bikes). Rumors are still flying about Easyriders, and word has it that a gentleman in Florida just bought Titan and they’re having sales at the factory in Phoenix. About the time four naysayers come out of their dank closets and throw bad vibes at some companies, another group of highly wealthy entreprenuers step up to the plate and put millions into the industry. The bottom line: A couple of years from now we’ll still be riding, creating new bikes and parts and loving every minute of it. Let’s get to the news:

HARLEY-DAVIDSON ENDS FACTORY SUPERBIKE RACING PROGRAM– Harley-Davidson announced two days ago that the company has chosen to end its factory VR 1000 Superbike racing program and retire from the American Motorcycle Association (AMA) Superbike series after the final round of the 2001 season at Virginia International Raceway on Sept. 28-30.

“Our development team took a hard look at rebuilding the program this year, and what it would take to bring the VR 1000 to a competitive level and replace it with a new design. Harley-Davidson has determined the resources required to do that are simply too costly to pursue given our other business priorities,” the company said.

The VR 1000 Superbike racing program helped Harley-Davidson develop and refine technologies such as liquid-cooling and electronic fuel injection. The program also led to the development Harley-Davidson’s first production liquid-cooled motorcycle, the VRSCA V-Rod, which was introduced this summer.

Despite memorable performances in the eight-year history of Harley-Davidson’s Superbike racing program, including a pole position in 1996 and podium finishes by Pascal Picotte as recently as 1999, Harley-Davidson has concluded the VR 1000 is at the end of its development cycle and is no longer competitive in the AMA Superbike series.

“I’m thankful and proud of the dedicated efforts of our racers, Gemini Racing Technologies, the Harley-Davidson development team and external partners,” said Director of Racing John Baker. “Hundreds of talented people worked on the VR 1000 Superbike program from its inception. They gave thousands of Harley fans a thrill at racetracks around the country, while teaching the company a great deal about high performance technology.”

Harley-Davidson has competed in various forms of motorcycle racing since 1914, winning countless races and championships at the national and world level. The company will continue to field a factory team in U.S. National Dirt Track events. Harley-Davidson also plans to enter the National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) drag racing series with a new effort, the Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines Pro Stock team, which is currently developing a new highly modified race motorcycle for competition.

WANNA SELL OR BUY SOMETHING–There are a couple places to go. Check the Bikernet Classifieds or go to the new site, EHarleyauction.com. I’m going give them a shot with the Blue Flame. See it auctioned this week.

A SIGN OF REVELATIONS– A Little Rock woman waskilled yesterdayafter leaping through her moving car’s sun roofduring anincident best described as “a mistaken rapture” bydozens of eyewitnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a20-car pileupresulted from people trying to avoid hitting thewoman who wasapparently convinced that the rapture was occurringwhen she saw12 people floating up into the air, and thenpassed a man onthe side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

“She started screaming ‘He’s back, He’s back,’ andclimbed rightout of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of thecar,” saidEveret Williams, husband of 28-year-old GeorgannWilliams, whowas pronounced dead at the scene.

“I was slowing down but she wouldn’t wait till Istopped,”Williams said.

She thought the rapture was happening and wasconvinced thatJesus was gonna lift her up into the sky,” he wenton to say.

“This is the strangest thing I’ve seen since I’vebeen on theforce,” said Paul Madison, first officer on thescene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesusand discoveredthat he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his wayto a togacostume party when the tarp covering the bed of hispickup truckcame loose and released twelve blow up sex dollsfilled withhelium that floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who’s been toldby several ofhis friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled overand lifted hisarms into the air in frustration, and said, “Comeback here,”just as the Williams’ car passed him, and Mrs.Williams was surethat it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky asthey passedby him, according to her husband, who says his wifelovedJesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the 12 sex dolls,Jenkinsreplied, “This is all just too weird for me. I neverexpectedanything like this to happen.”

AUG. 26 RUN FOR THE GRIZZLIES 2001-HOG INLAND CHAPTER–This was a poker run at Big Bear Lake, Calif.to benefit the Big Bear Zoo.They are moving their facility from the Moonridge areato the North Shore. And of course they need donationsto do this, so all local bikers and Hog members are the firstin line to help. Sign-in started at 7:3O a.m., so I, living in the desert, left at 6 a.m., blasting across Highway 247 at 70 to 80, plus keeping a sharp eye out forcoyotes. I didn’t want to do what my good friend Bandit did and hit something. Surprisingly the temperature was a little nippyin only a T-shirt and vest, wished I had my HA leather shirt with me. Got to Chad’s, a local bar, for the sign-in andit was 54 degrees — cool for an old desert rat but it did warm up tothe high 80s. Good turn out, saw a lot of bros I haven’t seen for awhile.

The parking lot of Chad’s was packed with lots of good peopleto help the cause. Left mid-afternoon down the back side of BigBear to the desert highway. It was 110 degrees, so hot I thought I was riding in HELL. Not a soul in sight. The day’s end was refreshed with a cold shower and a cold brew.

–Bob T

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN POSTS STURGIS REPORT– Reading about Bandit’s trip to Sturgis, I had some envy of sorts.While he was riding through amazing land, we had to drive our truck and trailerup to the Hills, hours and hours of non-stop boring interstate scenery.Stop, gas ,piss, eat, go! That was our routine for 36 hours, Jacksonville toSturgis. I have been planning with Roger (Bourget) to do the ride fromPhoenix for the past few years, but our duties won’t allow it. Someday wemight ride. Funny though, all the trailered dressers and Road Kings fromnearby states. (I guess I’m allowed to tow 12 choppers from PR ?) Saw less bikes on the road this year than ever.

Thehundreds of bikes screaming down I-90 were not seen this year, but alas, wealways get there earlier and earlier. I would not dare to put down peoplewho trailer, since we do, but then again, we have to. I guess timeis getting more precious, spending the money there and not on the road is avalid concern. Still we got to ride around a thousand miles while in the Black Hills, which is equivalent to crossing Puerto Rico from coast to coastfor 10 days straight. Yes, we would love to be able to ride there someday,meanwhile we have a lot going on and it’s a miracle we can make it everyyear. (You have read before how much of a pain it is to ship everything.)Oh well…..here’s the news.

Sept. 2 is the annual HOG MDA ride. They meet early and have ashort ride before showing up at the events door to donate money for MDA. Then kids get to ride on a bike around the parking lot, or just sit in forphoto ops, any which way, they love it.

Sept. 2 is also the first Ticket Ride. They will end with a bikeshow and all money will be donated to children’s charity. Good event, baddate.

On Sept. 3, there will be a ride to raise funds for Cucho (our friendwho had the accident in Oklahoma).The Desertores organized this run. Cucho is in Jacksonville, Fla.,receiving therapy and is on the long road to recuperation.

We just received some news that a rider from Puerto Rico was involved in anaccident in the Black Hills (we did not know he was there). Apparently anovice rider lost control and invaded his lane, hitting him on the leg, fullforce, with his bike. We don’t know how he is doing, but will find out. Hisson was behind him and is OK.

We received this photo of a guy on a rigid chopper who rode all the way fromMassachusetts. We met them at Devil’s Tower and shot the shit for a bit. Nice bikeand made it in one piece. We hope he made it back.

A friend of ours from Lynn, Mass., saw the WCC bike here on Bikernet, met withus in Sturgis and gave us the sheet metal to repaint his bike. Will postphotos as we get to it. Also for those of you who have followed the WCCstory, the bike will take its maiden voyage in less than a week. We willkeep you posted. Another CFL has already been commissioned.

Well, that’s it for this week. It’s been raining everyday here inparadise and all eyes are glued to the weather channel for storms. Ohwell, just a couple weeks more……

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet News, Caribbean Custom Cycles

DEGENERATE JIM RETURNS– ?????Here’s one that might make you grin. While rummaging through mypersonal stash for the BOB BITCHIN scan, I found a note from Degenerate JimPisaretz. (Jim was associate editor-head drunk for B.L. during that era.)After the takeover in 1988, Jim ran the magazine (briefly) and then followedBB into oblivion.

?????Anyway, his note simply read “Keep up the good work – love thosestories.” (I remember that he used a photo of himself posing by a tower ofBudweiser cans with each column… ) The note is from 1984. I moved at leastsix times while writing for Bob, so it’s amazing any of this survived. ?????Ride on!

–Rod Ice

BARTELS’ SCUTTLEBUTT–Bartel’s in Marina del Rey, Calif., is throwing an open house on Sept. 8 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. to celebrate the arrival of the 2002 Harleys and Buells. There will be blowout specials on back to school goods, kids’ clothing and halloween collectibles.

They are also planning a Halloween trick or treat special Oct. 27-31. You may not be near Bartel’s, but check at your dealership. They too will be celebrating the evil holiday. If you have questions call (310) 832-1112.

CINDERELLA–Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmotherwon’t let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmotherappears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to gotothe ball, but only on two conditions. “First, you must wear a diaphragm.”

Cinderella agrees.”What’s the second condition?”

“You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into apumpkin.”

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comesandgoes, and Cinderella doesn’t show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella showsup,looking love-struck and very satisfied.

“Where have you been?” demands the fairy godmother.”Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!”

“I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.”

“I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!”

“I can’t remember, exactly …Peter Peter, something or other….”

PRINTS FROM C. KALLAS–Under Bikernet Special Reports we have a feature on a little known lifetime biker/ fine artist. Check it out if you’re into the art of motorcycling as much as I am. Just yesterday we convinced Chris to make available his signed, limited-edition prints to the Bikernet clan.

The spirit and freedom of riding is portrayed in ‘Outwest’ and ‘Desert Chopper’.These quality color lithograph prints are produced on 80# acid free cover stock. ‘Outwest’ is 16-by-20 inches (image size 10-by-12) and ‘Desert Chopper’ is 16-by-24 inches (image size 9-by17).

These beautiful prints are $39.95 for a signed limited edition of 300, or $19.95 unsigned, plus $4.95 for shipping.To place an order, call C. Kallas Fine Art/Illustration at (310) 316-2790, or read the entire saga of the artist’s life and see more about the prints in the Special Reports section.

DAVIE ALLAN UPDATE–Attached is the only CD scan I haven’t sent you, “The Arrow-DynamicSounds of Davie Allan.” His lastest disc was “Live Run,” which you used to startoff the Bikernet feature. (They’re all packed with full-throttle tunes.) Hementioned a show coming up sometime in October… details are always on hissite. (www.davieallan.com) His discs are available there as well, and theycome autographed when you buy them direct. (The prices are cheap, too!) Myfriendship with Davie began because I ordered some of those discs. Heincluded a personal letter with my recordings… and I wrote about that forthe newspaper here. The rest (as they say) is history.

THE FASTEST AND QUICKEST TOP FUEL BIKE IN COLORADO IS FOR SALE!– TONY DREXLER’S TOP FUEL BIKE IS FOR SALE FOR 35K…..WITH LOTS O’ EXTRAS!

CONTACT TONY DREXLER AT HIS TOP FUEL SHOP FOR DETAILS……(303)238-0416.

BIKERNET WEEKLY POLITICAL LESSONS–

? A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

? A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

? A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

? A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow at five times the market price cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

? A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with sour soy milk.

? A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.

BASSANI–DYNO-PRO–Bassani’s trend-setting line of Pro Street headers is now available for Harley Dyna models from ’96 to present. These unique pipes feature aggressive Hot Rod styling with an exhaust note to match.

Designed for both mid and forward control models, each pipe is hand fabricated using a stepped head pipe process tapering from 1 3/4-inch to 2-inch and exiting through a massive 2 1/2-inch diameter pipe. Its ease of installation is reflected through its 16-gauge steel system plated to a flawless show chrome finish. They’re available exclusively from North County Customs Dyna-Pro headers retail for $349. NCC also offers matching heat shields for all models–www.northcountycustoms.com.

AHDRA SPONSORSHIP ROUND-UP–?????The AHDRA proudly announces sponsors for the 2001 season. The AHDRA proudly announces the sponsors on board that make our race season possible. Please join us in thanking the 2001 sponsors.

JIMS returns to support the Nitro Screaming Machines of Top Fuel! Welcome back Jim Theissen, Paul Platts and the fine staff at JIMS.Catch the 200 mph Harleys of JIMS Top Fuel in action during the 2001 AHDRA season!

Joker Machine is back on board this year, taking on the highly competitive Modified Class! Look for some of the largest bike fields ever in modified competition this year in Joker Machine Modified!

Carolina Kenworth joins the AHDRA as the 2001 sponsor of the Pro Drag series. Ted Smith and the staff of Carolina Kenworth teamed up with AHDRA in 2000 and we are honored to have them support this year*s Carolina Kenworth Pro Dragster competition.

A brand new addition to the AHDRA sanction. Dynajet, this year*s sponsor of the Street Pro Class! Thanks to Paul Langley and the staff at Dynojet, and be sure to follow the competition in Dynojet Street Pro!

Andrew*s Products is back in full support of the ET series. Welcome back John Andrews, Carolyn Goss and the staff of Andrew*s Products!?

AHDRA is proud to have Vanson Leathers on board as an AHDRA Associate Sponsor and Contingency sponsor. Thanks and Welcome to Alan Slavin and the staff of Vanson Leathers!?

Rivera Engineering/Primo Belt Drives are back for contingency support and this year*s sponsor of the 2nd stop on the AHDRA tour in Phoenix, AZ. Thanks to Mel Magnet and his staff, sponsor of this year*s Rivera/Primo Arizona Bike Week Nationals!

The AHDRA is proud to have PRP Elite Nitro join in supporting the AHDRA contingency program. Romine Racing distributes PRP Elite Nitro products.with the largest inventory of PRP Products in North America. Thanks to Dennis Paul and PRP Elite Nitro for your support!

Contingency Sponsors back to support the AHDRA 2001 season include:

Autometer,Cycle Performance Products,Diamond Engineering and Saddlemen

Also returning for another season of racing. Comp Cams, Dixie Frames, Nitrous Oxide Systems, Performance Machine, PMFR, VP Racing Fuels. Our sincere thanks to all of these loyal sponsors returning for another season of racing with the AHDRA!

Eaglestar Photography is back to assist with your photography needs and available on site at AHDRA events throughout the season.

Thanks to all of this year’s 2001 sponsors of the AHDRA series. Stay tuned as many more are on tap to be announed!

Look for more exciting news regarding sponsor support right here on www.ahdra.com!

–Thanks to our 2001 Sponsors

Continued On Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BIKERNET BILLBOARDS STOLEN

Continued from Page 1

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PRESIDENTS CAUGHT IN TORNADOS–The last four presidents get caught in a tornado and go spinning off to Oz.They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the GreatWizard.

WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I’ve come for some courage.”

“NO PROBLEM” says the Wizard. “WHO IS NEXT?”

Ronald Reagan steps forward. “Well…, I…think I need a brain.”

“DONE” says the Wizard.

WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?”

Up steps George Bush sadly, “I’m told by the American people that I needa heart.”

“I’VE HEARD IT’S TRUE” says the Wizard. “CONSIDER IT DONE.”

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standingthere looking around, but doesn’t say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

Is Dorothy here???”

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– As you all know, we were in the Black Hills for the past couple weeks. You would not believe the time, money and effort it requires to make ouryearly trip to Sturgis. Thisyear is one of those that we could have stayed home. Most people (vendors, campgrounds, etc.) claimed that attendance was down by 50 percent. The heat waveof 115 degrees was a royal pain in everyone’s ass (Ididn’t see a single bike cruising down Main Street on Wednesday.) People took coverin the bars or what little shade they could find. Police were outin full force, tickets and rights-violating searches left and right. Ourgroup of 12 people got pulled over at least five times. Three of those becamesearches, I guess just for having PR plates on our bikes. Police were goingbike by bike at parking lots checking serial numbers. I guess the lack ofattendance made them hungry for their assigned quotas and everybody hadto pay the price.

Aug. 5, the local San Juan HOG chapter did a ride to raise funds for ourfriend Cucho. We raised about $10,000 for his hospital bills, and theOrlando guys raised another $12,000 or so. He was moved to a rehabilitationcenter in Jacksonville to get him on the long road to wellness.

We had a close encounter with the new H-D V-rod as soon as we got toSturgis. A friend had had the bike for a couple days and took it by our houseso we could check it out and snap some photos while we tore the bike apart.I’m not going to say anything about the bike, good or bad, but gimme 10V-rods for my chopper and I would say “no way.” If anyone is interested indetails, let me know, I can easily give my two cents worth.

We received our new BMC chopper and quickly raked 900 and so miles in it. It’s anawesome chopper for the $20,000 suggested retail. We also got a preview ofthe new Softail model, which will retail for about $23,000. I noticed a fewof the big guys with some BMCs in their booths. Here’s a photo of theNotorious 918 model, hope you guys like it.

Rudy and Heather from Frisco Choppers and Crime Inc. were present atSturgis. Their line of apparel is selling like hotcakes. They are the coolestpeople and their shirts rock (besides being a sponsor here) check theirstuff out, tell them Jose sent you.

Two of our bikes were shot for American Iron Magazine and will be featuredin upcoming issues. Keep an eye out for them and let me know what you think.

Jesse James rode from Long Beach with Indian Larry. He told us the heat nearVegas was up to 126 degrees, which fried three batteries and two voltregulators. Seems like the trip was not something to write home about. Let’sfind out what went on when the new show comes out in September.

That’s it for this week. If you would like to get the completeSturgis story, let me know (in Your Shot). We missed Bandit and found out thereason when we got back. I’m glad he was able to sort of walk away after the accident. It’s a really nasty feeling when your friends crossthat safety line. It’s really sad to hear those sirens up in the BlackHills and know another biker went down. No matter what happens, what’s important is that we are able to get on the bike once more. Plastic, chrome and metal can be replaced, friends cannot.Bandit, we are very glad you are OK. Our best wishes for a prompt recoup.Bandit 1- Bambi 0.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report

DEER UNION SENDS VOODOO CURSE–Someone has sent you a voodoo curse through PinStruck.com. To view yourpersonalized curse, click the link at the bottom of this e-mail. Beforeyou do, make sure to read the following warning:

WARNING:If you are sensitive, paranoid or superstitious in nature, viewing yourvoodoo curse may be upsetting to you. Curses are not suitable for viewingby people under the age of 18.

If you fall into any of these categories it would probably be best todelete this e-mail and forget about the whole thing.Remember, revenge is always an option.

RELATIONSHIP SCUTTLEBUTT– A man and his wife are out on San Francisco Bay when a wave hits them and the wife falls overboard. He searches and searches for her butfinally gives up and calls the Coast Guard. They call out the Harbor Police and everyone spends many hours searching the bay for her.

The next morning, two grim-faced policemen appear at his door. “We’resorry to bring you sad news, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information aboutyour wife.”

“Oh!” says the man, “Quick! Tell me! Have you found her?”

One of the policemen says, “Well, we are going to break this to you as gently as possible. We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens says, “Give me the bad news first.” So the policeman says, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay. She appears to have drowned.”

“Oh, my God!” cries Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asks, “What in the world could be the ‘good news’?”

“Well,” says the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crabs on her.”

“If that’s the good news, then what’s the ‘great news’?!” Mr. Wilkens demands.

The policeman says, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”

CAMPING GEAR REPORT AND BARGAIN–On to this month’s free gear winner, which is Norwood D. of Wilmington, N.C.Congratulations Norwood, you will be receiving an assortment of great little travel items, including Pro15 Sunsreen, Cat Crap lenses protector, a camp towel and Redline water bottle.

Now for this month’s specials: I have decided Eureka Tents will be our focus. For this month only, our Cobra (two-person), normally $159.99, is on special to you for only $119.99. Our Solitaire (one-person), which is priced at $79.99, is out of here for $67.99.Eureka is discontinuing the VCS (Variable Component Shelter) in 2002, and we will too as soon as we run out?and can no longer order more. But in the mean time I will sell the only portable screen house made for $169.99 (normally $209.99) and the Poly Wall version for $189.99 (normally $239.99). Finally, I will give you $20 off on any other tent we carry in case these don’t happen to be what you were looking at.

Rick Thomas
Redline Compact Camping and Travel Gear
P.O. Box 1113
Lakeville, Minn. 55044
http://www.redlinegear.com

PAVEL HANZLIK, EUROPEAN STUNT CHAMPION– (www.pavelhanzlik.com) will perform at the SRA track day Aug. 25 at the Streets of Willow, Rosamond, Calif. ?Want to see a world class stunt man? ?

This is your chance. ?The only cost to see Pavel is the $10 entrance fee that is charged by the track. ?There is no cost imposed by the SRA. ?This might be a good time to check out what a track day is all about, too. ?The SRA runs a limited entry track day that rotates two groups every 20 minutes from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Pavel will be practicing in the morning and performing during the noon lunch break. ?Come see a true professional stunt man perform stunts that are better than Rothwell’s!

Pavel will be available for shows for a limited time in the U.S. ?Interested in knowing more about Pavel…. just call the SRA at (888) 837-2453 or e-mail Pavel@sportbikes.com

Want to know more about the nation’s largest sportbike organization? Just stop by our Web site at www.sportbikes.com. ?The SRA is a grassroots organization that provides members with negotiated discounts from manufacturers and vendors of sportbike parts, accessories and apparel.

KING CLIMPS BACK ON PODIUM AT PEORIA– Harley-Davidson Factory Racer Rich King landed on the podium Sunday night at Peoria Raceway Park, taking second place in the Progressive Insurance U.S. Flat Track Championship main event. Chris Carr held on for the victory, recording his 13th career win at Peoria.

“We’ve struggled a little in chassis setup this year, but we’re getting dialed in and I’m looking forward to the rest of the year at tracks such as Sedalia, Vernon Downs and Springfield, where I’ve won in the past,” said King, who recorded his first victory of the year in July at the DuQuoin (Ill.) State Fairgrounds.

The second place finish gives him 155 series points, behind Will Davis (161), Joe Kopp (210) and Carr (221).”Rich is definitely getting back in the groove,” said Harley-Davidson Director of Marketing Art Gompper. “He was the only rider challenging Carr, who is nearly always near the top at Peoria.”

King was strong throughout the race, which included two restarts following crashes by Gary Rogers and Nicky Hayden. Shortly after the second restart, King passed Mike Hacker for second heading into turn one and then set his sights on Carr.

“My Harley-Davidson was running strong, and I could keep Chris in sight and keep him honest, but I could never get close enough to stick a wheel in there or anything,” said King. “There were a couple laps that I went faster than him and I thought I had a chance, but I’d make a mistake or get held up by a lapper and he’d get away.”

Following Carr and King, Kopp edged Hacker for third place.King will next race Aug. 25 at the State Fair Speedway in Sedalia, MO. The race will be round 15 out of the scheduled 20 races on the AMA’s Progressive Insurance U.S. Flat Track Championship.

A?BEDTIME STORY–A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People. We’ll consider the nanny as the Working Class, he went on. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.”

So the little boy goes to bed thinking about what dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back tobed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit!

President Bush with Jorge Hidalgo, general manager of Pilgrim Road Powertrain Operations.

PRESIDENT BUSH ATTENDS THE HEART OF AMERICA–Harley-Davidson?was honored to have President of the United States George W. Bush?visit its Pilgrim Road?Powertrain Operations facility in Menomonee Falls, Wis.,?today.

Pilgrim Road manufactures Twin Cam 88 engines and transmissions for H-D’s York, Penn., assembly plant and Milwaukee parts and accessories divison.

Harley-Davidson CEO Jeff Bleustein has worked with the president and the Department of Labor on the president?s Workforce of the 21st Century Initiative. Following a recent presentation during a summit on the 21st century workforce, Bleustein met privately with the president to discuss labor-related issues. During that meeting, Bleustein invited the president to visit Harley-Davidson the next time he was in Milwaukee. The president decided to take Jeff up on the offer while he was in town speaking at?a VFW convention.?

HARLEY-DAVIDSON’S SUGGESTIONS FOR SPENDING YOUR INCOME TAX REBATE–For $600, make a 10 percent down payment on a new Harley-Davidson?XL 883 Sportster?motorcycle.

For $450, make a 10 percent down payment on a new Buell Blast motorcycle.

For less than $300, learn to ride a motorcycle at Rider?s Edge, the Harley-Davidson Academy of Motorcycling.

For less than $200, buy a Harley-Davidson black leather jacket.

For about $100, rent a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?from your local dealer for a day.

For $38, buy a Harley-Davidson denim shirt.

For about $20, buy a Harley-Davidson T-shirt or baseball cap.

For less than $8, buy a full tank of gas for your Harley-Davidson motorcycle and get 40 to 50 miles per gallon while fulfilling your dreams of freedom, exhilaration and?exploration of the great?open roads?of the U.S.?

MOTORCYCLING CODE OF THE WEST LESSON–

A 10-year-old boy was walking down the street when a big man on ablack motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, “Hey kid, wanna go for aride?”

“No!”, said the boy, and he kept on walking.

The motorcyclist pullsup to him again and says, “Hey kid, I’ll give you $10 if you hop on theback.”

“NO!” said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker.

The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, “OK kid, I’llgive you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride.”

At this point the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, “LookDad, YOU bought the Kawasaki, so YOU ride it!!

–Rogue

MORE ON THE CODE–We’re bikers. If tomorrow the sun still shines, we ride. If it rains, we work on bikes. If the stock market continues to slope, we make parts instead of buy them. It’s our life, it’s in our blood. I may be busted up and unable ride for a couple more weeks, but that doesn’t mean I’m not checking out how to fix the Buell when I roll out to Phoenix to pick it up. I’m planning on parts and design for our morale officer’s Pro Street, and still chasing Sin Wu around the headquarters (only slowly).

When we can’t ride, we just plan for the next one, ’cause, goddamnit, we’re burnin’ daylight.–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BIKERNET BILLBOARDS STOLEN

In July, the Hit counter struck above 1.5 million hits on the site, and our master artist John Siebenthaler-created billboard in Laughlin was so well received that someone stole the bastard. The Brenda Sturgis Billboard received rave reviews. Our board of directors was completely perplexed to the point that it moved the quartely meeting to the saloon up the street. After a three-day binge I returned to the headquarters to finish my Sturgis saga and hammer out the news.

A recent TIME magazine report on the new Harley-Davidson V-Rod tried to make negative comparisons between Harley and Honda. Others are speculating on the future of Easyriders and the return of Titan. There’s one point that the negative business freaks constantly miss: We’re not in this business to make money. We’re here to have a good time and to create what we dream of.

Sure, if we’re lucky we’ll make more money than we did last quarter, but that’s not the point. The point is to continue to do what we love and have a helluva good time doing it. Let’s get to the news.

BIKERNET WOMEN RIDERS SUMMARY–

My “Shadow”
Shadow e-mailed us a while back wanting a link on Bikernet. As withall who inquire, I looked up her site to see what it was all about. Although she doesn’t offer any products or services, she did have afascinating story of herself.

I liked her site, and read it from top tobottom. She’s just a lady with a passion for life, bikes included.

So, if you have some time, go check out Shadow’s Web site and just sayhello.
shadows.itgo.com

Here’s a little of what you’ll find;

Growing up for me, I think, was normal, I guess until the age of 14,when I joined the Naval Cadets, met new people, went on excursions tovarious Naval bases. I soon realized that I had a natural “flair” withrifles, being very competent in all aspects, even to the extent where I wasoffered a post in the Guard, the first female ever at that time. My passiongrew from there.

Then at the age of about 17, I decided to join the Royal AustralianArmy. Wow! Was that an eye opener! But looking back now, was a pretty goodexperience for me. Don’t get me wrong, I was never the boisterous type, infact, quite the opposite. That is, I guess, where I changed completely.

Take care, Sin

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY–When NASA first started sending up astronauts, it quickly discovered thatballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASAscientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes inzero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface, includingglass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 Celsius.

The Russians used a pencil.

NEW KNUCKLES AVAILABLE–We have found the manufacturer of new production Knuckleads. We’ll have the entire scoop on Bikernet when the units are complete, along with an article on new Indian engines being built. Hold on.

These puppies will be released to the public at the Del Mar Antique Meet in October.

CALLING HOME ADVICE–A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey I have been asked to go on a fishing trip at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several ofhis friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for meto get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack meenough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box? We’releaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my thingsup. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas.” ??

??? The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend hecomes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. “Yes,” he says, “Lots of walleye, some bluegill and a few pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?”

The wife replies. “I did, they were in your tackle box……….”

So how do they pronounce the name of this restaurant?

A HUNTER’S SORRY SAGA– A couple of West Virginia hunters are out in the woods when one of themfalls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back inhis head.The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he’s dead.”

… There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

NEW HARLEY AUCTION SITE–I have started my own Harley auction site.www.eharleyauction.comIt has most of the features that ebay has except I set it up just for Harley-Davidson related stuff.

–Steve Makarits
www.eharleyauction.com

The ultimate safe sex.

MONTANA DEER REPORT–Just happy to see you’re alive. I stopped in Igomar, Montana. Watchingprofesional bull riding with the boys in the JerseyLilly Saloon there. Was on reserve when I found them.After I had dinner and a few beers, the guy says, “You’renot riding further.”

“Yeah, I had to make whateverI had to make,” I said.

He tells me to watch out for the deer. Isays, “We have a lot of deer in Wisconsin.”

“No, takeit easy, OK?” he said.

I ride out and a half-hour down the road Icross the path of 30 deer. I’m sorry you hit them.

Next day, he wakes me up as he drives past in his 18wheeler, “So, do we have a lot of deer in Montana?””Yes you do.” I’m sorry it was you and not me.

–Party Jay

Some of us survive deer attacks, others don’t–Bandit.

HEY DIXIE RIDERS– I’ve got some exciting news that I know you’ll want to hear. But first a commercial. (Don’t you just hate that?)

Dixie Rider is again sponsoring the meeting tent at Myrtle Beach. If your club needs a convenient place to start a poker run from, or if you just want to designate a spot for everyone you know to meet at a certain time during the upcoming fall rally, call Sonny at (336) 643-1367 and reserve your time. Located in Murells Inlet….near SBB (suck, bang, blow)

OK….here’s the news…In honor of the big $300 million Powerball Lottery, we decided to offer our own exciting “Power” play…….We have teamed with Street Eagle of North Georgia, Iron Works Motorcycle Co. and Oldies 102 (In Gainesville, Ga.) to give away the chance to win a new custom built IronRide bike.

Most folks will qualify for this drawing only one way, and that’s by listening to the radio station or going by certain locations to sign up..BUT…you can sign up yourself by visiting www.dixierider.com The catch is that there’s only one entry per address…if you cheat and sign up twice, we’ll throw out all your entries…(and probably come over and kidnap your cat, and neuter your dog…..not to mention that Scabby will probably whiz in your houseplants too.)

*Actually, the only way to register twice is by taking out a subscription (if you don’t already have one), since every new subscription between now and the Sept. 10 deadline will also be entered.

While you’re at the site, click on the jade cartoon and give us your funniest caption…if we print yours you’ll win a “I’m not spoiled, just Jaded” T-shirt.?

Our Web site gets almost 500,000 hits per month, mostly from readers like you who are checking out the babes, checking on rides and events in our huge online calendar, and entering silly contests like this.

Anyway, good luck in the contest and if you win, I’ll expect a substantial reward…say…a six pack?

–Scott Cochran, editor

CHROME SPECIALTIES NEW ROLLING CHASSIS KIT–“Rack ?Em Up? is what a chopper should be! No frills, no billet doo-dads,just a clean, no-nonsense ride with classic lines. Buy the complete Rack?Em Up bike kit, which includes our 88 cubic inch Pan demonium engine andRevtech 4-speed kicker tranny, and you?re right back in the’70s…………way cool man, way cool!

Rack ?em Up is also availableless engine and tranny as a rolling chassis kit.

?Rack ?em Up? Bike Kit includes:

* 88 cubic inch “Pan” demonium engine and motor mounts. Complete with S&S Super?E? carb and Mallory Unilite distributor.(see page 10 for complete details).
* RevTech 4-Speed kickstart tranny.
* Straight leg style rigid frame for chain rear drive. 6-inch stretch indown-tubes and 38-degree rake. (includes frame cups and heavy-dutybearings)
* Chromed 41mm billet triple trees with 7-degree rake.
* Bottom mount 12V headlight assembly.
* 6 inch over chromed fork tubes and dual disc lower leg assembly. (includeschrome fork boot covers)
* 16-inch apehanger handlebars, riser assembly andheavy-duty bushing kit.
* 21-inch chromed 40-spoke front wheel (dual flange) with 3.00-by-21 inch AvonSpeedmaster tire, rim strip, tube and axle kit.
* 16-inch chromed 40-spoke rear wheel (dual flange) with 5.10-by-16 AvonRoad RunnerAM 21 tire, rim strip, tube and axle kit.
* Chromed 3-1/2 quart side-fill horseshoe oil tank.
* 3.3-gallon double cap Mustang style gas tank.
* 6-inch flat rear fender with chromed tall sissybar and bullet styletaillight.
* Chromed forward control kit with heavy-duty kickstand and bracket.
* Assorted hardware.

171024 Rack ?em Up bike kit Retail $11,995

171020 Rack ?em Up rolling chassis kit (Same as above less engine and tranny) Retail $3,995

NEW CORBIN HOT ROD–Here’s a taste of what the Corbin creative minds have come up with of late. For more information check the Corbin site: http://www.corbin.com/corbinmotors/>http://www.corbin.com/corbinmotors/

BIKERNET RIGID FRAME CONNECTION–Check out the HardTail connection on Bikernet. A section and a CD ROM- connected magazine that is devoted to rigids and choppers. Check it out.

Continued On Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DEER HUNTERS PAID PREMIUM SALARIES

Continued from Page 2

ALL NEW BIKERNET MEDICAL STAFF ADVICE COLUMN–Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and that’s it. Everythingwears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.Want to live longer? Take a nap.

RAY PROCE RUNS ALL 200 MPH PASSES-FINALS RESCHEDULED FOR NORWALK– NC’s Harley-Davidson dealer qualified thirdat the CarQuest Northern Nationals, Mid Michigan Motorplex, Stanton, Mich. In afield where the top seven teams ran in excess of 200 is significant but Price’sconsistency was just dazzling. ?All Price passes were in excess of 200,another feather in the cap of the Hall of Fame inductee.

“The team really worked hard and really hung together. We were the mostconsistent bike on the track all weekend.” (202.45, 205.13, 207.46, 208.49,211.63, and 214.45 mph) “We scuffed a piston and have minimal work to dobefore the next race,” said Price.

Price had left Raleigh feeling good about his team and his Screamin’ EagleNitro Harley-Davidson and was well prepared for the next two weeks of racingbut after making it too the final round, he’ll have to wait for the finalpass at Stanton. ?IHRA officials deemed the shutdown to be unsafe for thenitro two-wheelers and the CarQuest Northern National final between Price andSteve Stordeau will be postponed until Norwalk, Ohio, Aug. 23-26. ?

Ray Price Racing is supported by Ray Price Harley Davidson, Raleigh HOG, S &S Cycle, Cintas, Power Arc Ignition Co., Ultra Pro Machining, JIMS, RoyalPurple Synthetic Motor Oil, Shumaker Racing, Performance Machine, BarnettTool & Engineering, Vanson’s, Carolina Cobras, and Wilder’s Inc

ESTOK DOMINATES BUELL PRO THUNDER AT BRAINERD– If ever there was the perfect setup, TilleyH-D/Buell’s David Estok had it as he lead from start to finish on Sunday toclaim his second victory of the year in the Buell Pro Thunder Series at theColonel’s Brainerd International Raceway.

“The bike ran perfect all weekend,” said Estok, who continued Buell’s streakof six straight Pro Thunder podium finishes. “We made one suspension change,and that was all it needed. The only other change was putting on new tiresfor the race.”After earning the pole with a dominant heat race performance Saturday, Estoksurged from the start down Brainerd’s mile-long straight away.

“I got a great start and then held it wide open through turn one,” saidEstok. “The others couldn’t hold it wide open in the first turn because theyweren’t sure what those in front of them would do. That was a bigadvantage.”Estok, who became the first two-time winner of the season with the win, wasnever challenged. He is currently fourth in overall series points.

“It was a great win for Dave,” said Buell Race Manager Henry Duga. “He wasdominant all weekend. He was the fastest in practice, the fastest in theheats and the fastest in the race.”

Jeffrey Nash finished second and series points-leader Thomas Montano placedthird, both aboard DucatisTilley H-D/Buell’s Tripp Nobles had a poor start, but battled back to secondbefore a mechanical forced his exit with just a couple laps remaining.

“It’s disappointing, because we had a good bike and I thought I was evengaining on Dave,” said Nobles.Hal’s H-D/Buell rider Mike Ciccotto, riding with a broken finger and afractured wrist, overcame a pit stop to replace a plug wire, and finishedseventh. He is currently second in overall series points.The Buell squad will return to action next weekend, Aug. 3-5, in the BuellPro Thunder Series at Summit Point Raceway in Summit Point, WV (WERANational).?

WHY– are Jewish men circumcised?Because Jewish women won’t touch anything unless it is 20 percent off.

PICOTTE TAKES 11TH, SMITH 12TH AT PRAINERD–Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Superbike racerPascal Picotte finished 11th while teammate Mike Smith took 12th Sunday atthe Colonel’s Brainerd International Raceway in the 11th round of the AMASuperbike Series.According to Harley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker, the VR 1000’shorsepower shortage was evident on Brainerd’s mile-long straight. However,Baker said, expected horsepower improvements should be seen in the nearfuture.

“The development team has been hard at work in developing improved power andengine performance,” said Baker. “Those changes are currently being testedand evaluated. Based on those tests, we expect to see gains on the tracksoon.”

Picotte and Smith battled each other throughout Sunday’s race, swappingpositions numerous times during the 21-lap event.”He would get me in one corner and then I would draft and get by him – wehad some fun,” said Smith. “He had a little better set up off the cornersand once he got a lapped rider between us later in the race, I couldn’t doanything about that.”

Honda’s Nicky Hayden took first at Brainerd, edging teammates Kurtis Robertsand Miguel Duhamel, who took second and third respectively.The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Team will next race Aug. 24-26 in the AMASuperbike Series at Pikes Peak International Raceway in Fountain, CO.

BIKERNET GOLF REPORT–A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.” The doctor told him, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week”. So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together…an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.

She said, “You’re the first, no one has ever touched these breasts.” He immediately drops his pants and replies, “Look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!”

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET GUN REPORT–The Chicago Police Department and the Illinois State Police have teamed upto make good on Mayor Daley’s pledge that, if it were up to him, nobodywould have a gun. Daley and his elite “CAGE” unit are apparently takingadvantage of gun privacy loopholes to pinpoint certain individuals forinclusion in the confiscation program.

The ISRA is following up on leads in one case that has distrubingimplications.An elderly first-generation Chicago resident was recently paid a visit byan Illinois State Police trooper. After asking to come inside the man’shome, the trooper asked if the man owned a gun – to which he replied yes.The trooper then directed the individual to surrender the firearm. The mancomplied with the officer’s demand and the trooper left with the gun.

And the story gets better… The gun in question was purchased legally bythe man in the 1970s shortly after he became a U.S. citizen. When Chicago’sinfamous gun registration scheme went into effect in the early 1980s, theman registered the firearm as per the requirement. However, over the years,the fellow apparenlty forgot to re-register the firearm, and forgot torenew his Illinois FOID Card. So…what does this all mean?

In the last edition of The Illinois Shooter, we reported on the activitiesof a shady taskforce known as the Chicago Anti Gun Efforcement (CAGE) unit.This elite squad, operated jointly by the Illinois State Police, theChicago Police Department, and the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office,supposedly exists to identify illegal gunrunners. However, informationgained by the ISRA makes it clear that the CAGE unit is targeting law-abiding citizens, not criminal gunrunners. Thanks to a ruling by a liberalfederal judge, the CAGE unit now has the name of every single person in theUnited States who, since 1992, lawfully purchased more than one handgun inthe period of a week. The CAGE unit also has all the makes, models andserial numbers of those guns. In essence, the Chicago Police Department isnow registering guns and gun owners nationwide.

SUPER-VEE REPORT– Here is a photo of me and the Vee camping at O’Keefe historic ranch during the vintage flat tracking. Nice pastoral scene, and it started 2nd kick after sitting out all night. Wonder if anyone had a fit over you running that bit about my Vee? Allan.

FIRE FIGHTER REPORT II–A fire fighter is cleaning the truck outside the station when henoticesthe little boy next door with a little red wagon with little laddershung on the side. The boy is wearing a fire fighter’s helmet and hasthe wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter says, “Hey little partner, what are you doing?” The little boy says, “I’m pretending to be a fireman, and this ismy fire truck.”

The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. “That’s surea nicefiretruck,” he says with admiration. He looks closer and notices theboy has tied the wagon to the dog’s collar, and to the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner,” the fire fighter says, “I don’t want to tellyou how torig your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around thecat’s collar,I think you could go faster.”

The boy says, “You’re probably right, mister, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

–From Kris B.

BIKERNET TAHITI RIDERS REPORT– I’m trying to hook up a network for the Tahiti Harley Riders club.These are the most righteous guys I’ve ever met. They do extensive workfor the disabled kids in French Polynesia. There is a high birth defectrate there and the French Gov’t doesn’t do enough for the kids there.

They raise whatever money they can for them but it never seems to beenough. When it comes to their getting parts for their bikes, they saveup all year and send one of the members to Bartel’s in L.A. to hook up.They have never heard of V-Twin, Midwest or Jammer…Also they have topay a 100% duty on all new parts they bring back to Tahiti.

I contacted some companies on their behalf as well as a few local NYshops that I know and have arranged for them to be able to get parts fortheir scoots at dealer cost through Skip’s cycle center in Kingston NYand Twin-Tech in Catskill. I’m gonna donate the shipping costspersonally.

This morning I cleaned out my garage of all my oldparts and forked over $300 to ship them to them. The P.O wanted another$150 to ship the catalouges…I contacted Meloney at V-Twin and Gary atMid-West and they are going to send the catalogues to Tahiti for me. These guys are good people.

–Teddy Bear
tbear@mhcable.com

BIKERNET SENIORS SUMMARY–Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a senior citizen’s residence.They ?met one day in the social center, and discovered over time that theyenjoyed each other’s company. After several weeks of meeting forcoffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and she accepted. They had alovely evening and afterward Claude asked Maude to join him at his ?placefor an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural courseand, age being no inhibitor, ?Maude soon joined Claude for a mostenjoyable roll in the feathers. As ?they were basking in the glow of themagic moments they’d shared, each ?was lost for a time in their ownthoughts. ?

Claude was thinking: “If I’d known she was a virgin, I’dhave been more gentle.” ?

Maude was thinking: “If I’d known he couldstill get it up, I’d have ?taken off my panty hose!”

Latest big-tire scooter.

BIKERNET LAWSUIT ADVICE COLUMN–A Charlotte NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive ?cigars then insured them against fire among other things. ?? ?

??Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great ?cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires.” ?? ?

??The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: ?that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. ?? ??

?The lawyer sued….and won! ??

???In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company ??that the claim was frivolous. The Judge ???stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company ?in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that ??it would insure them against fire, without defining what is ???considered to be “unacceptable fire,” and was obligated to pay the claim. ? ?? ??

?Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance ??company accepted the ruling and paid ???$15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the “fires.” ?? ?

??NOW FOR THE BEST PART… ?? ???After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him ?arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! ???With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case ?being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his ????insured property and sentenced him to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine. ?? ???

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent ?Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

–From Gene Koch

WHY MEN ARE NOT SECRETARIES– ? ? Husband’s note on the refrigerator to his wife: ? Doctor’s office called; said “Pabst beer is normal”. ? ?

–From Kris B.

Blonde with cute pussy.

SONNY BARGER DIGEST–Sonny is visiting club brothers in Europe, appearing and signing booksin Germany for the next four days in L?beck, Wiesbaden, Frankfurt,Stuttgart and Mullfingen/Buchenbach. Then he makes one stop inSweden (Gothenburg) and another in Norway (Trondheim).Details for this tour are posted here:http://sonnybarger.com/meet

The new Sonny Barger screen saver for Windows is now available.Download and try it on your computer today:http://sonnybarger.com/scr

Maybe some people were bragging but we are impressed with the resultsof the last poll (sex on a motorcycle). See for yourself, and vote in thecurrent poll about where you go after death:http://sonnybarger.com/pollBut don’t get stuck in front of that computer all the time — get out andenjoy yourself in the wind!

BIKERNET THUNDER OVER DIXIE BROADCAST–Listed below are the various levels of participation in Thunder Over Dixie. Participation levels are linked with a donation to the Muscular Dystrophy Association, and all levels of participation include all-access to celebrity riders and all the festivities, and a membership to Motorcycle Touring Service (emergency roadside service and towing) for the length of the ride. Please note when reading below that passengers are NOT required to pay a fee to ride along. Rooms along the route are procured by the participant.

WHAT YOU GET

RidersHARDCORE($320. INCLUDED in this amount is a $100 donation to MDA. Official Thunder Jacket, T-Shirt, Hat, Pin, Roadside Emergency Insurance, Map, Dinner at each stop, Ride Sticker.

VIP($200INCLUDED in this amount is a $50 donation to MDA.Sweatshirt, T-Shirt , Pin, Roadside Emergency Insurance, Map, Dinner at each stop, Ride Sticker.

REBEL($120INCLUDED in this amount is a $25 donation to MDA. T-Shirt, Pin, Hat, Insurance, Meals, Ride Sticker

PassengersHARDCORE($300INCLUDED in this amount is a $100 donation to MDA. Official Thunder Jacket, T-Shirt, Hat, Pin, Map, Dinner at each stop.

VIP($180INCLUDED in this amount is a $50 donation to MDA.Sweatshirt, T-Shirt, Pin, Map, Dinner at each stop

REBEL($100INCLUDED in this amount is a $25 donation to MDA.T-Shirt, Pin, Hat, Dinner at each stop.

SPECIAL ARTIST’S REPORT–We were fortunate enough to run into a very special bike artist at the Beach Ride Recently. Just before the run to Sturgis Chris Kallas and his lovely wife Nancy came to the Bikernet Headquarters for an interview. After the accident the notes were burnt in the Buell blaze, Bandit’s memory was slammed against the Wyoming pavement so the scattered story had to be rewritten several times before we could release it. Check it out, but don’t blame me if it doesn’t make sense. He’s a helluva artist, though.

–Renegade

BIKERNET NEWS ENDING–We are just about to release a feature on the new Kiwi Indian flathead engines. That’s it. I’m hammered, although I know there has got to be more to report on. Gimme a pain pill and a naked nurse. That’s all I can handle, although I promise to finish the Sturgis saga in the next couple days. Rumor has it that there were over 400,000 riders in Sturgis last year and less than 300,000 this round. More reports will be forthcoming. Rest and be kind, you have not a goddamn thing to prove–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DEER HUNTERS PAID PREMIUM SALARIES

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LOS ANGELES CALENDAR BIKE SHOW REPORT–While past LA Calendar Bike Shows are usually just regular American Thunder features throughout the year, the 2001 LA Calendar Motorcycle Show’s scheduled appearance this last August 14th, just three weeks after the event, indicates the show’s continued growth in importance in the industry and among fans.

From the premier of the hottest new custom bike creations from America’s top builders to the first public appearance of Harley-Davidson’s new milestone V-Rod performance cruiser, Speedvision’s timely broadcast of the Hot Bike Presents The White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show event confirms it as one of the most popular and important streetbike shows in America!

Look for additional coverage of this year’s show on other Speedvision programing, and on ESPN2’s Motorcycle Week.And stop by our Web site to read our official story of the 2001 show, to see the bike contest and Dyno Shootout results, and to see a great selection of pictures.http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow2001/BIKESHOW2001.HTM

BANDIT VS. BAMBI SCORES–Score: Animals 1, Go Fast Bikers On Shiny Buells, 0

Doe: A deer, a female deer
Ray: A pocketful of sun
Me: A name I – Goddamnit, that looks like a…!!?!!

Get well. And remember…a journey of a thousand miles can be stopped deadin its tracks by one dumber than a box of rocks Bambi.

–JS

P.S. We’re enjoying the last hunk of venison summer sausage put up by aNatchez friend of ours. Ground and cured from the largest buck ever takenin the county, one he shot in his back yard with a bow from the back porch,and well within the city limits. That’s my Zen for the day.

INTERESTING QUOTES– “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” —Mariah Carey

WORLD BIKERS ARRIVE IN VANCOUVER–Around-the-world motorcyclist arrived in Vancouver on Aug. 7.Simon Milward, a 36-year-old Briton, arrived by ferry from PrinceRupertbecause his engine was about to blow up. BC Ferries sponsored the ridetosave him a few thousand km. He recently crossed to Anchorage AlaskafromMagadan in Russia’s extreme NorthEast.

Milward left England on Jan. 1, 2000, and Canada is the 29th country on his global adventure.He has ridden 76,000 km through Europe, the MiddleEast, South Asia, Indonesia, Australia, Southeast Asia,Japan and Russia.

Some memorable experiences en route include amarriage proposal at Cairo’s pyramids, meeting theDalai Lama in India, escaping marauding militants inTimor, serious accidents in Saudi Arabia, Nepal andthe Australian Outback, riding through the front linesof a civil war in Laos and, most recently, nearlydrowning on Russia’s flooded Road of Bones.

There is a serious side to Milward’s trip of a lifetime.He aims to raise $100,000 (U.S.) for two medical aid charities.One is Doctors Without Borders, which recently wonthe Nobel Peace Prize. The other is Health for All, specializing inhealthcare delivery to out-of-reachAsian regions by economical motorcycle. His primary aim in NorthAmericais to find sponsorship for 12motorcycles for use in a new project in Indonesian Flores. Thisintroducesa proven African idea to Asia.Yamaha has kindly offered a 30 percent discount at $1,000 per motorcycle. Thevalue of medical aid sponsorship he has raised so far is nearly$26,000.

Milward’s motorcycle, the John T. Overlander, was handmade in the UK in1999 from 90 percent donated parts and equipment. It uses a 600cc singlecylinderengine from Austria, a huge, 45-liter Italian fuel tank, and aFrench Internet tracking system.

As former general secretary of the Federation of European MotorcyclistsAssociations, Milward has beeninvited to address several North American conferences on the subjectof global motorcyclists’ rights.Companies and organizations donating sums larger than $100 are entitledtoa sticker on the bike and a linkon the Internet. Individuals donating $30 receive a special pin badge and regular en route e-mail updates.

Donations can be made via www.millennium-ride.com, or if you see astrangelooking bike on the continent’s highways, flag him down, thrust somedollars in his face and demand a badge.

North American sponsors so far include the South Suburban Chapter ofABATEof Illinois, American Motorcyclist Association, Canadian MotorcycleAssociation, North American Motorcycle Union, Harley-Davidson and Tesoro, the petrol distributor.

SOMETHING ABOUT FRIENDS– A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it,he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?” “This is Heaven, sir,” the man answered.

“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.

“Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.” The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” the traveler asked.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,leaning against a tree and reading a book.

“Excuse me!” he called to the reader. “Do you have any water?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there” The man pointed to a place that couldn’t be seen from outside the gate. “Come on in.”

“How about my friend here?” the traveler gestured to the dog.

“There should be a bowl by the pump.”

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

“What do you call this place?” the traveler asked.

“This is Heaven,” was the answer.

“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveler said. “The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.”

“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s Hell.”

“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”

“No. I can see how you might think so, but we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who’ll leave their best friends behind.”

FIRE DEPARTMENT NEWS–A man who worked for the fire department came home from work one day and told his wife, “We really have a wonderful system at the fire depaartment.

Bell 1 rings, we all put on our coats.
Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole.
Bell 3 rings and we are on the truck ready to go.

“From now on we are going to run this house the same way. When I say:
Bell 1, you strip naked.
Bell 2, you jump into bed.
Bell 3, we are going to make love all night.”
The next night when he came home from work and yelled:
Bell 1, she took off her clothes.
Bell 2, she jumped into bed.
Bell 3, they began to make love.

After a few minutes she yelled “Bell 4.”

He said, “What the hell is Bell 4?”

“MORE HOSE” she responded, “YOU AIN’T NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.”

HOT OFF THE PRESS–?The 2000-2001 Darwin Awards Are Here! ?The DarwinAwards, for those not familiar, are for those individuals who contribute tothe survival of the fittest by eliminating themselves from the gene poolbefore they have a chance to breed.

?A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. ?Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into thefireplace in his house. ?This resulting explosion and fire burned his housedown, killing both him and his sister.

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS–Compiled and Edited byBILL BISH,NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS

BIKERS? DRESS CODE CASE GOES TO HIGHER COURT Trial dates have beenpostponed for 12 bikers challenging Carson City, Nevada’s courthouse dresscode which bans biker attire while lawyers argue about the constitutionalityof the policy in a higher court, reported the July 24, 2001, edition of TheReno Gazette-Journal.

The bikers were to go to trial in Carson City Justice Court onmisdemeanor trespass charges after they refused to leave the public buildingbecause of their leather jackets and biker vests, some of which sportedpatches featuring the swastika symbol.

Dating winner.

AS BICYCLE HELMET USE INCREASES, SO DO HEAD INJURIES While millions ofparents take it as an article of faith that putting a bicycle helmet on theirchildren or themselves will help keep them out of harm’s way, new data onbicycle accidents raises questions about how safe helmets really are.

According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the number of headinjuries has increased 10 percent since 1991, even though bicycle helmet usehas risen sharply, and in many cases is required by law. But given thatridership has declined over the same period, the rate of head injuries peractive cyclist has increased 51 percent just as bicycle helmets have becomewidespread.

So, what is going on here? asked writer Julian E. Barnes in a July 29article in The San Diego Union-Tribune. Almost none of the safetyadvocates interviewed for the story suggested that riders should stop wearinghelmets, which researchers say can reduce the severity of brain injuries byas much as 88 percent, but still, with fewer people riding bicycles, expertsare mystified as to why injuries are on the rise.

”It’s puzzling to me that we can’t find the benefit of bike helmetshere,” said Ronald L. Medford, the assistant executive director of thesafety commission’s hazard identification office. They believe that the increased use of bike helmets may have had anunintended consequence: riders may feel an inflated sense of security andtake more risks.

Helmets may create a sort of daredevil effect, making cyclists feel sosafe that they ride faster and take more chances, said Mayer Hillman, asenior fellow emeritus at the Policy Studies Institute in London.

BIKER JUDGE CHASES FLEEING DRIVER?Santa Clara County Superior CourtJudge Robert “Bud” Ambrose was breaking in his new Harley-DavidsonDeuce recently when he saw an odd sight ? a damaged car driving by withonly three functioning tires.?

Ambrose didn’t realize the driver of that car was a suspect in a recenthit-and-run accident.? But when the driver, a 52-year-old woman, pulled upbehind some cars stopped at a red light, then looped around them intooncoming traffic, Ambrose felt he had to do something.

The judge-in-leathers revved his 2-week-old blue bike and chased thedriver for several miles. He pursued close behind as she raced through the streets of San Jose,Calif., weaving in and out of traffic at speeds from 30 to 60 mph.

The woman, who later told an officer she was on medication, collidedwith five drivers before and during the chase, according to the San JoseMercury News.?Two people were injured and a host of other drivers andpedestrians were sent scrambling for safety.

STURGIS MOTORCYCLE MUSEUM HONORS HALL OF FAMERS On Aug. 8, theSturgis Motorcycle Museum and Hall of Fame hosted its first annual inductionbreakfast during Sturgis Bike Week to honor 13 men and women who willbe inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2001.

Among those who have contributed so much to our sport and lifestyle arethree members of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists, including UnitedStates Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell and South Dakota State Sen. JimPutnam, who are both members of the NCOM Legislative Task Force, and FrankErnst, a member of the NCOM board of directors and state director of ABATE ofMinnesota.

Other inductees are South Dakota Gov. William Janklow, Jim Betlach,David Perewitz, Neil Hultman, Eddie Miller and family, Penny Walker, Tom Rudd,Woody Carson, Genevieve Schmitt and Indian Jeff.

The Sturgis Museum also announced that it will establish a permanentregister in the museum titled “Outstanding Freedom Fighters of our Time.” According to museum director Bob Illingworth, “The mission of theSturgis Motorcycle Museum and Hall of Fame is to preserve the great historyof motorcycling and to honor the men and women who have made motorcyclingwhat it is today. There is a group of people however that have been somewhatoverlooked when the honors and accolades are handed out, and it is our goalto rectify this situation and recognize the contributions and sacrificesthose outstanding individuals made in the course of protecting the rights andfreedoms of motorcyclists everywhere.”

Procedures and rules for the Freedom Fighters Wall will be announced inthe near future on the museum?s Web site,www.sturgismotorcyclemuseum.org.???????

“SURVIVOR” FINALIST GETS NEW HARLEY — Tina Wesson got her $1 million,Colby Donaldson is picking out a new Harley-Davidson motorcycle, which Tinais buying for him, and CBS has 36.4 million reasons to be thankful for the”Survivor” reality series. That?s how many people tuned in for the finalepisode of the Outback “Survivor,” according to Nielsen Media Research.

Wesson, a 40-year-old nurse from Knoxville, Tenn., won the bigprize by being the ultimate survivor, but had secretly made a priorarrangement with Colby that whoever won would buy the other a motorcycle. Inaddition to the new scoot, the 39-year-old Texan also won $100,000 and asport utility vehicle for winning the final reward challenge.

MAN STABBED TO PREVENT DRUNK RIDING– A Georgia man took the “FriendsDon?t Let Friends Drive Drunk” credo a bit too far recently when hereportedly stabbed his drunken friend in the back to stop him from ridinghome on his motorcycle.

Sheriff’s deputies in Aiken County, Georgia, say Benjamin Sharpe willbe charged with assault and battery with intent to kill.

Officers say the 47-year-old told them he didn’t want his friend to ridehis motorcycle while under the influence. Robert Wheeler, 39, is recovering in the Medical College of GeorgiaHospital, reports the Augusta Chronicle.

QUOTABLE QUOTES– ”The establishment is made up of little men, veryfrightened.”Lawyer, Former Congresswoman Bella Abzug

EXECUTIVE QUANTRY–An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. Hehad ?narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both didexcellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.

Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung over after partying all night.She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and theexecutive approached her and said: “Debra, I’ve never done this before, but I haveto lay you or Jack off.”

Debra replied, “Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache.”

BANDIT’S CANTINA GIRLS–The crew of the cantina is trying to find an odd selection of artistic females to dance the night away. There’s some already in the Cantina, along with an assortment of strange and unusual articles.

TNN TO AIR IHRA DRAG RACING SATURDAY AFTERNOONS TODRIVE RATINGS– President Bill Bader has announcedTNN, The National Network will air the 2001 IHRASummit Drag Racing Series Saturday afternoons,beginning Aug. 11.In 2000, the Summit Drag Racing Series aired on TNNlate Sunday nights and moves to a heavily promotedmotorsports block on Saturday afternoon.

“TNN and IHRA are improving coverage and drivingratings of the Summit Drag Racing Series by moving ourraces to Saturday afternoons,” Bader said. “Wesaw research that showed any programming running past11 p.m. loses viewers and the ratings drop off. Bypackaging IHRA with other popular motorsportsprogramming, such as “Horsepower TV” on Saturdayafternoon, the enthusiast will be able to make IHRAdestination television. The shows air on the hour,from 2 p.m. until 3 p.m., making it easier to attractand maintain viewers.”

The 2001 IHRA Summit Drag Racing Schedule on TNN is asfollows. All shows air from 2 p.m.-3 p.m. (EST).

Holley Spring Nationals,
Rockingham, N.C. Aug. 11

AC Delco Nationals, presented by
Chevrolet, Richmond, Va. Aug. 18

Mopar Parts Canadian Nationals
Grand Bend, Ontario Aug. 25

Amalie Oil Summer Nationals
Cordova, Ill. Sept. 1

CARQUEST Empire Nationals
Leicester, N.Y. Sept. 8

CARQUEST Northern Nationals
Stanton, Mich. Sept. 15

Mopar Parts World Nationals
Norwalk, Ohio Sept. 22

Amalie Oil North American Nats.
Epping, N.H. Sept. 29

CARQUEST President’s Cup
Budds Creek, Md. Oct. 6

CARQUEST Autumn Nationals
Rockingham, N.C. Oct. 13

Mopar Parts World Finals
Shreveport, La. Oct 20

Shootout Specials
Shreveport, La. Oct. 27

Contact: Jim Marchyshyn, director of communications(419) 663-6666, ext. 224jmarchy@ihra.com

See you at the CARQUEST Northern Nationals at MidMichigan Motorplex, July 27-29

Continued on Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DEER HUNTERS PAID PREMIUM SALARIES

Watch next week for a complete report on the 2001 Sturgis saga. It will be packed with surprises from women from California to Wyoming. There’s also surprising news from the Buell front.

If we have any more astonishments, we won’t know what to make of them, or her. Let’s get to the news:

CHECK OUT OLDCOOTSONSCOOTS.COM–Then go to Aug. 9. My ole buddy Montana Red’s shop is in some of the pictures. He has a Flathead Hog. These were some of his customers from Hawaii passing through on the way to Sturgis. He told me the things with the horns are Elk, not deer. You see, I’m a flatander.Later, Paul

EUROPEAN MONSTER WIDE TIRE KITS–We are doing good in Old Europe, hope the same for you.Sent you pictures from the kit and from a complete bike.The kit is made to use Performance Machine wheels and brakes. We suggest ordering the wheels and brakes direct from PM. (It makes no sense to ship themto Europe and back).We will serve every buyer with correct PM and Ness part numbers in the U.S.

The rear fender is sold separatly and works on TC and Evo stock frames.In Europe we sell a Deluxkit with everything included.

If someone likes to have other wheels, such as Speed Point, (we can alsodeliver) small modifications on the axle spacers have to be done.Otherwise it really is a bolt-on kit. (sounds great!)

Suggested retail price for the TC base kit is $2,690.-
for the Evo base kit $1,490.-
for the Rearfender Evo or TC $999.-

The TC kit is approximately 16 hours work on a bike and it comes with a detailedinstruction manual.THE KITS ARE IN STOCK NOW!

Dealers are welcome.We are working now on a complete Driveside kit for Stockframes TC. It will again be bolt-on.Tow pics are from this kit. It will be available in December 2001 and willonly work with PM Driveside wheels, brakes and pulley.If you have any questions, please contact me at chris@parts-world.ch

CHILLICOTHE RODEO TIME–It’s Easy-Chillicothe Rodeo time again. I know. I try to talk you into coming every year.Myself and several others would also like to thank you for the booze last year.

You are saying duh? Let me explain.Sunday night, as the rodeo was winding down, some good old boys and girls and I were winding down in style, and ran out of booze.

I remembered that I had a fresh bottle of Black Jack in the tent that I had brought on the chance that you would make it. So I said, “I have another bottle in the tent that doesn’t exactly belong to me, but I think the owner won’t mind.”

“Who does it belong to?” someone asked.

“Bandit Ball,” I replied.

“Is he here?”

“I don’t think so, or maybe I just haven’t found him, but in any case, I don’t think he’ll mind if we drink it.”

All I can say is, your reputation and booze preceded you last year.So if you run into someone who thanks you for getting them drunk in Ohio, just smile and say “No problem.”

If you make it this year, look for a 24-foot camper with a blacked-out, older Lowrider parked near by in the Bros Club camping area.

I’ll have another bottle of Black Jack for you, but it may suffer the same fate as your last bottle if you don’t find me before the liquor stores close on Sunday night.

Keep the shiny side up!

–Aiwaf

FLAMED PIPES ALERT– I was up at the Saratoga Race Track in N.Y,, loosing my ass as usual.I left in disgust after the seventh race. Parked next to me in the lot wasa Road King with the sweetest set of pipes I’ve ever seen. I hung aroundtill after the ninth race to find out where the guy scored them. When theguy showed up, he told me he makes them himself, by hand, in his garage. Ijust had to have a set, so I followed him back to his shop. When we gotthere he unveiled a bevy of beauties. Not only the chromed flamedexhaust set that dazzeled me for my Road King, but Louie Louieflamepipes that spin when you rev the engine! He makes pipes and endcaps for whatever vehicle, bike or car you can name. Even pipesfor Limeys and Jappers, and damn reasonably priced compared to factoryaftermarket pipes.

He just got his Web site up and running, so if you’re looking for thatperfect finishing touch for that flame job chopper or just want tomake your ride shine a little bit brighter, check ’em out atwww.flamepipes.com. And tell ’em Teddy Bear sent you.

STEVE HUFF RACE REPORT–Steve Huff and the Huff Motorsports team take the win at the AHDRA Thunder in the Valley Nationals in Bristol Tenn. The Pro Dragster was running perfectly and the track was in great shape, which allowed our team to win each round of competition in the 16-bike Pro Dragster class and take the win. The bike was running 7.6s at over 178 mph. This win puts our team in a close battle for the national No. 1 points championship. Other great achievements were made on the new Top Fuel bike also. We qualified No. 8 out of 22 bikes with a 7.1 at over 199 mph, and we won round one of competition with our first 6-second pass, a 6.94, before losing in the quarter-finals to Mark Cox.

I owe so much to Jim and Phyllis McClure. They made the trip to Bristol to help me, and boy did they. Thanks again Jim and Phyllis, I had the best weekend of my career. For complete results, click on this link: http://www.ahdra.net/whatsnew.html???Now we are off to New Jersey to repeat next weekend.

–Steve Huff, Huff Motorsports

JON ANDRES DOWNED–On a sad note,?a?Pro Fuel (No. 77) and Top Fuel?rider and competitor, Jon Andres from JARZ Performance of Abbotsford, B.C., lost his life Saturday during a qualifying pass in Spokane, Wash., at the AHRA Finals. Jon was a friend of ours and a great, talented guy. I can’t begin to say enough good things about him. There are trust funds to contribute to in the States and Canada to help his family.?Jon will be missed by all. We send our condolences to his family and friends. God bless, you will be missed.

Steve Huff
Pro Drag 10 – AHDRA
Photos?from Helen Wolfe

Brenda Fox, Star of Bikernet Billboard and MC at LA Calendar Bike show.

BIKERNET BILLBOARD REPORT–Please tell Brenda that she got all the attention you had hoped for inputting up that billboard. You would have been amazed at the number ofbikes stopping in front of the billboard to take a picture of it….yep, metoo! Brenda, you are one hottie, lady!Please let me know when the pics are available. Forget postcards, posters,posters! Autographed posters!

–Brian,
Houston, Texas

Postcard of Brenda on Blue Flame (which is for sale) will be available shortly.

INTERESTING QUOTES– “If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” ………….. George Carlin

“When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.” ……. Author Unknown

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.” ……….Dave Barry

HAWGSBREATH PRODUCT LAUNCH– I have a product that I designed last yearm called Hawgsbreath High Performance Breather Vents. They are similar to the Doherty Power Vents but much better. I work at GIANTC in Denver. We sell the Doherty Power Vents but everyone who buys them calls back and says, “What am I supposed to do with these ugly hoses hanging in front of my engine?

So after years of hearing this, I designed and patented my own breather vents. My vents are much nicer looking and they have a removable filter to catch the oil mist. I have a Web site, but it needs work. It is www.hawgsbreath.com.

I also have an air intake system that is not yet pictured on the Web site. If you give me your e-mail, I can send a picture to you. Most of the bike shops in Denver sell my stuff but I cannot afford to advertise ationally. Maybe if you review my stuff, people will see it.

GET WELL GIFT– really had your “get well” gift ready whipped and everything; even acherry in the right spot. But she looked so good, I ate her myself.What the fuck, you’re too broke up to DO her anyway. (At least I wasthinkin ’bout ya.) Everybody wants to know, did they let you keep the meatand when’s the BBQ? You know, roadkill is a big part of our diet out in thehills. Hope ya get back on that iron pile and in shape soon.

–Wino Joe

Yer stealing my women and you want me to invite you to the barbeque? Fat chance–Bandit.

DEER WARNING–glad to see you survived the deer killing to tell another tale of riding and living on the edge. In July of ’98, one of my bros hit a fucking deer while on my FXR. He fucked up his left leg and knee pretty badly, but he was lucky. He was jamming over 80 mph, leading a pack of brothers. He didn’t go down and was able to stop the bike and put the kick stand down by hand. Anyway, good luck in your recovery bro, and good luck repairing the Buell.

–L&R BIG JOHN WFFW
WARLOCKS MC
FUCKING FLORIDA

KITTEN AND THE PREACHER– The kitten: Whoever said the Creator doesn’t have a sense of humor? Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor ofhis church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk,etc. The kitty would not come down.

The tree was not sturdy enough toclimb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away sothat the tree bent down, he could then reach up and take down the kitten. He did all this, checking his progress in the car frequently, thenfigured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would bendsufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a little further forward,the rope broke. The tree went boing! And the kitten sailed through the air, out of sight. The pastorfelt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they’dseen a little kitten.

No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed,”Lord, I just committed this kitten to your keeping,” and went on about hisbusiness. A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart andwas amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it,so he asked her, “Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?”

She replied, “You won’t believe this,” and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing.She told her little girl, “Well if God gives you a cat, I’ll let you keep it.”

She told the pastor, “I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, pastor, youwon’t believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly cameflying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right infront of her.”

Never underestimate the power of God!

I’M AFRAID THE DEER WON–BanditThis wouldn’t have happened if you’d listened to me and put on the brushguard like I told you to.

-JS

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS–Did you know that it costs $40,000 a year to house eachprisoner? Geez, for $40,000 a piece, I’ll take a fewprisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on thewindows. I don’t think we should give free room and board to criminals. Ithinkthey should have to run 12 hours a day on a treadmill and generateelectricity. And if they don’t want to run they can rest in the chairthat’s hooked up to the generator.

RUMOR HAS IT THAT BANDIT IS STILL ALIVE–Glad you are still alive! Great to read your prose after the fact. Sounds like you are back to your old self.Please keep the rubber side down in the future and damn it, consider a full face helmet. Your brain is your greatest asset, despite what the ladies tell you. And you already said you don’t care what others think about you or what you are riding, otherwise you wouldn’t have been on the Buell. Brother Bandit, you have no idea how relieved I am that you are alright.

–Anson

P.S. Attached is a photo of my son, Eric, with his big catch this weekend. If you ever need some time away from San Pedro to chill out, come on over and we will be happy toput you up and whip some New Orleans hospitality on ya.

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