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BIKERNET CARIBBEAN LIVE–Just got back from Biketoberfest, amazing how crowded it was. We expectedless people since, as we all know, the past events had dampened a lot ofactivities, but no, not a Biker event. Actually it was way too crowded,just a bit less than the dreaded Bike Week some are already claiming100,000 , which is a lot more than ever before.

I would dare to say that most bikes sported Florida tags, lots of Georgiaand other southern states, lots of newbies cracking their brand new dragpipes at all hours, and cops had a great time shutting them up.

Jesse James showed up in a Yamaha R-1, (yeap a Jap bike) and had a verycool Chevy 2 in his booth.Bourget’s had the new EX models and was seen riding one of his RetroChoppers, Billy Lane was riding around in his new Knuckle, and chopperswere seen left and right. Arlen Ness has a new shop next door to Carl’swhich displayed a banner saying Arlen Ness Customs.

We had a great time (andmissed Bandit) at The Horse party,all the magazine crew was there, and the best display of choppers inDaytona was at the parking lot, great time was had by all, and finally wewere able to talk to friends without the hussle people trying to takephotos and talk to the “famous” builders. The fun was over and as soon aswe hit the island was back to the bikes, WCC number 2 and number 3 are onthe mock stages, will send photos as the work progresses. Oh well, and nowto the news.

The Horse had a great party at Willy’s Honky Tonk bar, I would dare to sayone of the few bars in Daytona that allow colors. Hammer, Geno and crewwere there to say hi and plan on the future of the already very succesfulmagazine, seems like the plan is to do a party every year, we hope so.

Jesse James and the West Coast guys were camped at the parking lot of thenew bar and grill The Wreck, yes it was always crowded with people tryingto get a glimpse of Jesse and buy some shirts. Some really cool choppersand cars were in display as well as to Jap bikes that were used astransportation. Jesse says he will get the whole parking lot for Bike Week,can’t wait to see what are they up to, something cool , I’m sure.

The unveiling of the V-Rod by our local dealer was a huge success, theytell me it was so crowded that people could not get into , get this, theparking lot! Also there were a bunch of Rubbies at hand trying to buy thebike right there and then.

We spent some time with our friends at Custom Works in Daytona, to me thebest and most complete shop there, plus they keep expanding and will havemore space for bike week to serve you better, if there call them, tell themwe sent you.

Also we took the Road King to Carl’s Speed shop, we needed to remap thePowercomander, this ended up being a quick and thorough job, including afew dyno runs to do it properly, and at a great price. It helped that wedid this before the heavy crowds showed up.

We were looking for a Buell Blast, we think it would be a cool shop bikeand the best bike for Yoly to learn how to do burn outs and wheelies,Daytona Harley had a couple, so we went in to inquire, I asked for thesalesperson wich ended up being a dude called Dave, jeez what an ass, afterbeing extremely rude and basically kicking me out of his office ’cause hewas too busy and “in the middle of a deal” Too bad since I had the crisplettuce burning my pocket, and I did tell him so. Now I know why I keepdoing our own bikes and being glad I don’t have to deal with guys likethat. Thanks again Dave.

While standing in Main Street I found hope in the law enforcement officialsonce more, a very efficient cop was giving verbal warnings and pointing atpeople that were, sort of, breaking the law. I’m sure he could have ticketeda lot of people but chose not to, like a normal cop (not the ones inSturgis). A simple warning seemed to be enough. I’m surely hoping that he isthe one that pulls me over the next time.

Watch The Horse (subscriptions sold on Bikernet), we will be featuring an article every month, new and oldbikes alike, plus a run or two, all from Puerto Rico.It all starts with the2002 issues.

Oh well gotta get out of here, bikes 2 and 3 are waiting for me, plusanother sporty on the works. Maybe by 2005 I will have a life oncemore……and to the Weasels, action speak louder than words.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Agent.

RAY RUSSELL REPORTS FROM AUSTRALIA–Our man Down Under was seen at a race with a famous… Hell, we don’t know. Fill us in.

CONFIRMATION NEEDED–In a classic case of Cheech and Chong redux, two morons from Melborne,halfway down Florida’s East Coast, flew their Piper Cub this week on ameandering course from Pensacola in the Panhandle towards the tiny coastaltown of Crystal River, just north of Tampa.

There they lingered, flying slow, lazy circles above the manatees,canoeists, scenic freshwater springs…and Florida Power Corp.’s CrystalRiver nuclear power station.

Until, that is, two Air Force F-16’s promptly appeared alongside and forcedthem to the local runway. Where they were arrested. And their 65 pounds ofonboard pot, and a shiny new Glock, was confiscated. Bail: $250,000. Lawenforcement’s reaction: priceless.

–John

WE ARE MUCH TOO CIVILIZED TO DO THIS NOW………… TOO BAD ! General John ‘Black Jack’ Pershing – USMA class of’86 (that’s 1886).

He?showed us how to stop Islamic terrorists when he was in command of the?garrison in the Philippines in 1911. There had been numerous Islamic terrorist attacks, so “Black Jack” told his boys to catch some of the terrorists alive.

Having done so, General Pershing intended to teach them a lesson. He forced?the terrorists to dig their own graves and then tied them all toposts,?execution style. Knowing they welcomed the chance to die a martyr for?Allah, General Pershing had several pigs slaughtered in front of the terrorists and instructed his soldiers to dip their bullets in theblood?and?fat of the pigs. Thus, the terrorists were terrorized; they saw that?they?would be contaminated with the blood of pigs, which would mean that they?could not enter Heaven, even though they would die as terroristmartyrs.

All but one was shot, their bodies dumped into the grave, and the hog guts?dumped atop the bodies. The lone survivor was allowed to escape back to?the?terrorist camp and tell his brethren what happened to the others. This?brought a stop to terrorism in the Philippines for the next 50 years.

–Rogue

DIXIE RIDER SCUTTLEBUTT– I just hung up the phone with Scott Goodknight and I’m excited. Not about Scott or anything weird like that….I mean he’s a nice guy and all, but hey, I’m strictly a T & A kinda guy….

Anyway, before I tell you about that, I wanted to remind you that there are still some great events to attend……The Gulf Coast Thunder is going on this weekend in Biloxi Mississippi. If you get the chance, ride over to the Gulf Coast Civic Center right there on the coast highway and tell them I sent ya! Next weekend is the Steel Pony Express?is down the road in Naw’?Leans (New?Orleans for you illiterate folks!) and then it’s home for the holidays. I hope to see you at one or both of these events.

Speaking of events, we’ve finally gotten some pictures of the Labor Day blowout at the Steel Horse Saloon up on our site. Check it out at http://www.dixierider.com/images/septblowout/index.htm

Now about that special deal. Scott Goodknight, the founder of the American Bikers Guide. These are the folks that put out those super rally maps. The ones drawn by Thunder. Thunder draws the “Jaded” cartoon for us every month. Anyhoo, American Bikers Guide has printed a Bikers Atlas that lists hundreds of events in 2002 and a whole bunch of rally maps and maps of major metro areas. There is also a helmet law status map and a rally locator map. In short, it’s a great book to have, or to give as a gift. Seriously. We don’t endorse very much, and this one gets the nod. This book is going to sell for $19.95 from dealers across the country, but for the next?5 days, everyone who responds to this email will?save $ 6.45!. (Your price is $13.50) But, (there’s always a butt, isn’t there?) You have to act BEFORE midnight on Wednesday October 31.? After that, and you’ll have to pay full price, or wait until your dealer gets their shipment. Limit one dozen per customer.

STICKER PROJECT–We’re working on a line of stickers with a down under artist, Tokes. This is a black and white sample before the color is splashed into all the right places. Watch for ’em comin’ up.

If you need stickers, this is the company we’re working with along with Jesse James.

BIKERNET TRAVEL RECOMMENDATIONS–A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big departmentstore looking for a job.

The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.”

Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the storewas locked up, the boss came down.

“How many sales did you make today?”

The kid says, “One.”

The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.

How much was the sale for?”

Kid says, “$101,237.64.”

Boss says, “$101,237.64? What did you sell him?”

Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a mediumfish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a newfishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said downat the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down tothe boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then hesaid he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down tothe automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.”

The boss says, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him aboat and truck?”

Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and Isaid, ‘Well, since your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing!”

–Max

THINK ABOUT THIS–After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six andinjured1,000, President Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S.military personnel, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224and injured 5,000, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunted down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39U.S. sailors, Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunteddown and punished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, an estimated 7,000 people wouldbe alive today.

This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Withoutcasting stones, it is a legitimate question.”There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relativelyinexpensive software used by tens of millions of people and giveshundreds of millions of dollars to charity. The other sponsorsterrorism.That being the case, why is it that the US government has spent moremoney chasing down Bill Gates over the past ten years than Osama binLaden?”

–Dan

CANTINA WINNERS ROCK– If you joint the Cantina and support the Bikernet Crew every 10th winner gets a signed copy of my latest book, Sam “Chopper” Orwell.Here’s the latest list of winners:

Mike Bradshaw
Hot Springs, AR

William Nelson
Greer, SC

John Boaz
Whittier, CA

Thomas Willingham
Oakland, CA 94607

THAT’S IT– We’ve dumped the news on you today, ’cause a crane is coming to the headquarters tomorrow to deliver to small cells to the back yard to imprison writers who can’t make their deadlines or women who try to escape. We’ll have pictures over the weekend.

The Blue Flame was sold to a long time rider who hadn’t been on a bike in a while. Get this, he wanted to slap the cash on Micah McCloskey’s desk recently when his wife talked him out of the radical chop for a new Road King. So he rolled down to Bartels’ on the coast and plucked a new jet black Road King off the floor, but after a week of riding the King he took it to Micah McCloskey’s Custom Motorcycles and told him, “Sell this sucker. It’s not me. I’ve got to have the Blue Flame!”He’s had the bike for a couple of weeks and loves every minute of it. Choppers Rule.

I’m waiting on my visas for the world wide adventure. We’ve got a serious line-up of articles and new plans for the site while I’m away. Each week a bubbly little travel maven calls and throws another date on the table. I was packing my seabag for shipping out the week before the Love Ride then the teletype report came in that the ship’s hold caught fire and it’s stuck for repairs in the Panama Canal. I’m pacing the hardwood decks. I’m going to drag out the ’48 Pan and go for a ride.–Bandit

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THE TRUTH ABOUT AB EXERCISES– A little boy walks into his parents bed room to find his mother ontop of his father riding him. The mother sees her little son and gets of her husband as her son leaves the bedroom. The mother, concerned aboutwhat her son had seen, gets dressed and finds her son in his bedroom.

The son asked his mom, “what were you doing to daddy.”

The mom replies, “do you know that daddy has a big tummy”?

The boy says, “yes, he does have a big tummy.”

Mom says, “Well I have to get on daddy’s tummy and flattenit so it doesn’t stick out that much.” The boy says, “You shouldn’t do it anymore because it won’t work.”

The perplexed mother asks, “how come?”

The boy says to his mother, “because when you go outshopping, the lady across the street gets on her knees and blows daddies stomach back up.

–from Chris T.

Lady Layla, my mug and Bikernet fiction writer Buckshot at the JIMS Vegas drags.

BIKERNET LITERARY DEPARTMENT–C.L. Cake or “Buckshot” has become a recent contributor to the Bikernet through his horrifying fiction tales. This biker is also a successful novelist, and we just put his book up on the site in the Amazon bookstore. Check it out.

SOMETHING ABOUT GUNS– Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the otherday and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you got to love this!!!!

This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing,archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised onthe rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them properrifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violentkillers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended!

–from Robert T.

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP GUIDELINES–? An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”?

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says.”We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “They’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares… Now what do we do for Christmas?”

–from Gene Koch

+++++DRAG RACING UPDATE+++++

Randy Borho lifts both wheels off the ground – frequently – and he doesn’t really mean to! This is a Street Pro bike which means it can technically be ridden on the street.

HELEN WOLFE RETIRES FROM DRAG RACING–Rumor has it that Helen who has attended the entire series of all-Harley Drag Racing for the last several years and was the Bikernet Drag Racing Correspondent, may be hanging up her pit pass. She will continue to shoot for Bikernet is several areas, but she needed to find an area of the industry more supportive of her talents.

She’ll be sorely missed at the track, but support for the drag racing coverage has not been forthcoming and we all have to make a living. Stay tuned to see what happens next.

VENTURA CHAPTER REPORT–A Ventura County judge this week ordered the 25-year-old son of Hells Angels leader George Christie Jr. to remain held in lieu of $1-million bail pending trial on drug sales charges.The ruling came in response to an Oct. 15 state appellate court decision that found the trial court had failed to give specific reasons when setting bail for George Christie III.Christie, who has been jailed for nearly eight months, is charged in a broad drug-and-racketeering case involving alleged drug sales to minors by members of the Ventura chapter of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club. Although Christie has no criminal record, bail was set 10 times higher than the standard bail schedule.

In its opinion, the 2nd District Court of Appeal in Ventura concluded judges must explicitly state their grounds when setting such high bail.In Christie’s case, the appellate court did not recommend a bond amount but sent the matter back to Ventura County Superior Court Judge Art Gutierrez for a rehearing.

That proceeding was held Oct. 19, and Gutierrez issued a written opinion on Tuesday ordering Christie’s bail to remain at $1 million.Gutierrez said his decision was based on information contained in grand jury transcripts and declarations of law enforcement officials.”The court finds the defendant is vice-president of a sophisticated organized criminal street gang commonly called the Hells Angels, and that he is part of a conspiracy to sell drugs to minors,” the judge wrote.

“In fact,” he continued, “he personally furnished drugs to minors at weekly barbecues or parties.”

17th ANNUAL MEETING OF THE MINDS– Patriotism was exemplified by 318 state motorcyclist rights organization members and activists at the 17th Annual Meeting of the Minds barely two weeks after the devastating attacks in New York City and Washington, DC.

The entire report of meetings and the obstacles to motorcycling freedom currently are published in the Bikernet Bikers’ Rights department. Check it out.

WAR SOLUTION–Are you ready to fight for your country? Scary thought!Take all Western women who are within five years of menopause – train usfor a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna .

Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, andlet us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stufflike grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make evenarmed men in turbans tremble.

We’ve had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them andtheir future. We’d like to get away from our husbands, if they haven’t leftalready. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a goodman with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.We have nothing to lose.

We’ve survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, andthe grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across the west and never lost apound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistanwith no food at all!

We’ve spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardwarestores, or sporting events…finding bin Laden in some cave will be noproblem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh,please … we’ve planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extendedfamilies at Christmas dinners for years … we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we’ve divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is forhow they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We knowhow to find that money and we know how to seize it… with or without thegovernment’s help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as wecrawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

–Chris Wright

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I want to allow the military to perform their jobs with our support and be proud and supportive of the manner in which our government is handling these strikes. But the media continues to second guess every move, and question each tactic. Are they questioning the Taliban, interviewing women who have been tortured, or asking the Afghan people about the danger that useless attacks have brought to their lands by Osama? Nope.

Well our ABATE party went well! More to come …–Helen W.

Seems to me that the Taliban have declared war on us and attacked our civilians, not visa versa. Okay, goddamnit let’s get to the parties Halloween night, the naked women, the flickering lights on the porches and the real reasons we fight for freedom and the American way. Let’s get to the news:

HOW WILL YOU TAKE IT?–The Gentleman emerged from the bathroom naked and wasclimbing into bed when his?lady complained, “I have a headache.”

“Perfect”?the Gentleman?said. “I was just in the bathroompowdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orallyor as a suppository,… it’s up to you!” ????????????????????

–from Rogue

THE BUDWEISER REPORT– How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on 11th September, 2001…..

Thought you’d like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield, California.

On September 11th, a Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business tofind two Arabs whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack. It was obvious they were elated with what had happened earlier.

The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told himof the very upsetting event. He didn’t feel he could be in that store with those horrible people.

His boss asked him, “Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item our beverage company sells there? We’ll never deliver to them again.”

The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face.He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again.

–from Rogue

LAS VEGAS GUGGENHEIM NEWS–The Bikernet Undercover Motorcycling Correspondent Helen Wolf talked herself into the Venetian Hotel, Las Vegas Guggenheim motorcycle display. These are just a few of her artistic shots inside the austere display. If you happen to roll into Vegas in the near future, don’t miss it, especially some of the first motorcycles ever made.

Helen’s array of photographs will be on display in the Cantina.

WINO JOE SUMMARY–Mr.YR & Crew, y’all can read what I’ve said’bout The War on Bandit’s click-on “News”; then go to their back issues for thelast 3 or 4 weeks.

Bandit is Keith Ball; he was the main-man under LouKimzey at Easyriders. Even though he was HA, he & I are pals & we workwell together. There are a few “Red & White” I have known for years & wedo respect each other.

I’ll be 60 years old in 4 months, I don’t needany new enemies. The World has to work together on this shit. All Bikersshould communicate with each other. These terrorist could be on yourstreet. Y’all know what ta do with’em. America ain’t perfect, but ourpeople try to help others when we can. But don’t fuck with US. We can beBAD.

I volunteered to open mail at work & will donate blood. I havenever seen this Country be so committed since WWII. Flags fly all over,even at the Mexican taco joint down the street. Please send this to allBikers. “USA Forever”. Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

After The War we can get back’ta fuckin’with each other:) But for now,let’s Ride Together.

FUCKIN’ WITH EACH OTHER NEWS–Hells Angels and Vagos went to blows last weekend at Orange County, California swapmeet. During the peaceful swapmeet approximately 40 Vagos stormed the gate and the Hells Angels’ booth manned by 8 members. A battle commenced and it took 15 minutes for the fight to be halted. Several members of the Vagos were hospitalized.

–Steve B.

The above was reported by someone who witnessed the fight. He is not club affiliated. I confirmed it with him this morning. I have also received reports from other bikers who were there, who do not agree with the above. Out of respect to them their accounts are published in the “Your Shot” area.

THE TRUCK DRIVER REPORT– There was a little boy sitting on the curb in front of hishouse.

In one hand he held a package of M&Ms and in the other a cat. Well,thenosey neighbor across the street noticed him sitting there on thecurb, and wondered what he was doing. Closer observation of the little boy brought shock at the sight.

Little Bobby would put an M&M in hismouth, bitethe cat on the butt, and then scoot down the curb a little bit.

Theneighbor stared with wonder as little Bobby kept doing the same thingover and over again. He would put an M&M in his mouth, then bite the cat on the butt, and proceed to scoot down the curb a little further each time.

The neighbor, now growing more concerned, started to walk towards little Bobby. When the neighbor reached little Bobby he said, “What are you doing there little Bobby?”

Bobby said, with a shrug. “Oh. Just playing Truck Driver.”

“Truck Driver?” asked the neighbor in perplexity.

“Yes,” Bobby answered quite casually. “I’m poppin’ pills, eatin’ pussy, and movin’ on down the road.”

EUROPEAN VACATION WITHOUT THE GRISWOLDS– Jean-Claude Chamaa of Burbank, Calif., was recently named the grand prize winner of the “World on a Harley” contest sponsored by Harley-Davidson Authorized Rentals & Tours. Chamaa will soon feel the rumble of American iron as he and a guest cruise Europe on a Harley-Davidson, as part of their dream European vacation.??

The “World on a Harley” contest helped mark the launch of Harley-Davidson Authorized Rentals & Tours in several European markets. The program is the only motorcycle rentals and tours program backed by the Harley-Davidson Motor Company. Now anyone with a valid motorcycle license and a major credit card who possesses the skills, knowledge and ability to operate a heavyweight motorcycle and meets the minimum age requirements (varies by location) can enjoy the official Harley-Davidson renting or touring experience.

As the grand-prize winner, Chamaa and a guest will receive the use of an official Harley-Davidson Authorized Rental motorcycle during a guided Authorized Tour, including round trip airfare to Europe, accommodations and meals. Two semi-finalists, Robert Van Fleet of Eureka, Calif., and R. Douglas Neal, Jr. of Columbia, SC, will receive the use of a Harley-Davidson Authorized Rental motorcycle for up to three days. ?????

? Tours conducted by Harley-Davidson Authorized Tours operators include the use of a Harley-Davidson Authorized Rental motorcycle, guide service, some meals, lodging and a support vehicle.

Chamaa’s essay was chosen out of nearly 1,000 entries from qualified motorcycling enthusiasts from across the country. Essays literally poured in off the Web site, www.hdrentals.com, non-stop from July until September. The entries received described a number of adventurous European vacations, from roaring through the British Isles to exploring the Swiss Alps. The judge’s panel, consisting of writers from the top motorcycling magazines including American Rider, American Iron and Thunder Press along with representatives from Harley-Davidson reviewed the entries, which were judged on how well they captured the spirit of Harley-Davidson, creativity and style.

So, your essay didn’t win — no problem, renting and touring is easy! Simply log onto www.hdrentals.com to find an authorized operator in the city where you want to ride.

I’m gonna try writing a few things forthe Horse. I’m also gonna try to hookup with Ironworks as they are NC based.

I wrote this Daytona story differently than the last, it’s more adventureoriented than newsy. It was that kinda week, people were just having fun,including me. The craziest thing about the whole week is that two peoplerecognized me as a “writer.” Billy Lane was one and didn’t even know I’m apainter.

Hey by the way, Happy Halloween! And I think you are too hot as a redhead.You know what long hair on a guy does to me.

–JoAnn
Bikernet East Coast Editor

BIN LADEN TARGETS AVAILABLE–Here’s copy of the target. I’m selling the targets for the same price quoted in “your shot”, posted yesterday or Friday. geez, don’t ya read yer own webpages? haahaa.

–Concrete Pete
Cpkidwel@aol.com

A WORD FROM THE CALENDAR MAKER–I’d like to take this moment to tell you about the exciting and highly cost effective sponsorship and advertising opportunities available from FastDates.com.

Calendar Title Sponsorship, $3,000 Annual ($250/mo):? Includes you company name/logo and website featured on the front and back covers, and every page of the calendar of your choice: FastDates, Iron & Lace, Ripped Pavement, Berm Busters, Garage Girls. A product display ad on the credits page of the calendar. Your company’s sponsorship listed in all advertising and marketing related to the calendar. Free banner link ad on the calendar’s sales page on the FastDates.com website – a $150/mo. value. Effectively a $3,000 per month advertising campaign value for a one time annual cost of just $3,000!

Sponsorship is limited to non conflicting companies or products. Sponsorships being secured now for the 2003 calendars premiering July 2002 for 18 months exposure! Complete calendar information is available at http://wwwFastDates.com/CONTENTS.HTM

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Photo from Kyle at Biketoberfest

Life is bananas as we all know, right about this precise moment. If it’s not war, we have the neighbors dog snorting our mail before we open it. If he keels over I’m not going near it. The media drives me mad, yet there were more scooter folk at Biketoberfest than ever before, and we’ll hope that the same applies to the Love Ride 18 this year on the 11th of November in Los Angeles.

Shit is too hectic. I’m getting shots for the undercover cruise around the world today for Hepatitis B, and hooking up a satellite phone to a lap top. My Mac wouldn’t work so a Bikernet brother turned me onto a PC laptop, thanks Richard K. We ordered a GPS so we’d be on track and could find our position on earth anywhere at anytime. Visas are on order and of course my doctor reported to the ship that I had been in an accident, so I had to find a Hamster doctor to straighten them out. Just because I can’t hear, I’m blind in one eye, can’t see straight and one leg drags behind the other I’m still good with a knife if the Taliban try to take over the ship in the Indian ocean. Let’s get to the news:

LOVE RIDE 18–Get ready to rock. It’s comin’ quick, November 11th is the date for the 18th annual largest charity fund raiser in the world. Okay, you know all about it. It’s been covered in every bike mag in the world and will hit them all again this year.

If you need anything call the 24-hour-a-day hotline (800) 246-5618, extension 7 for updated info, or visit the Love Ride on line www.loveride.org. Harley-Davidson of Glendale is located at 3717 San Fernando Road in Glendale between Los Feliz Blvd. and Brand Blvd. Have a great time as always.

RevTech? 6-speed motorcycle transmission assemblies and 6-speedmotorcycle gearsets sold prior to September 12, 2001 have been recalledbecause the 4-6 shift clutch can crack or break during use. This conditioncould cause severe transmission damage. Such damage may occur withoutwarning and can cause vehicle control problems,including locking of the rearwheel.

Owners of motorcycles with RevTech? 6-speed motorcycle transmissionassemblies and 6-speed motorcycle gearsets should bring the equipment to aRevTech? dealer to have the recall service performed without charge.

Owners can call the RevTech? recall line for informationregarding the recall and RevTech? dealer locations:

1-800-815-9762 or 1-408-778-5943

FINEST BILLET PARTS ON THE PLANET–Are available through Joker Machine. I’m not jivin’ if you want quality, check them out. They’ve got a new catalog. See if you can get one through their site.

COURTS REFUSE APPEAL– The U.S. Supreme Court on Oct. 15 refused to hear an appeal in the caseof two Dayton, Ohio men cited for driving without licenses in 1998.

Magus D. Orr and Andre L. Smith were ticketed in June 1998 at randomlocal police roadblocks. The men argued the stops were unconstitutionalbecause police had no particular reason to suspect specific criminalbehavior.

Nonetheless, the Ohio Supreme Court unanimously upheld the roadblocks inMay, and the high court’s refusal to intervene means the convictions nowstand.

“The idea that government agents may seize people at checkpoints withouthaving any suspicion of wrongdoing it very un-American,” lawyers for thetwo men wrote in asking the Supreme Court to hear the appeal.

Dayton police stopped cars according to a prearranged pattern — whetherit be every 10th car or every fourth — after posting a sign 100 yards awaywarning drivers they might be stopped. (In some cases, motorcycle policeare then stationed precisely to stop drivers who make U-turns or otherwiseseek to avoid the roadblocks — their very avoidance being considered”suspicious behavior.”)

In Dayton, police asked for a license, and if the driver had none theofficer ran a computer check. Approximately one in eight Dayton driverswere thus found to have no valid license.

Following the Supreme Court’s decision not to review the case, “We intendto do more checkpoints,” announced Dayton city prosecutor Deirdre Logan.

–From Rogue

OSAMA HEALTH CHECK–Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned abouthis mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date ofhis death.

Closing her eyes and silently reaching into therealm of the future she finds the answer.”You will die on an American holiday.”

“Which one?” Osama bin Laden asks nervously.

“It doesn’t matter,” replied the psychic. Whenever youdie, it will be an American holiday!”

–Catts

WILD SHIT TO THINK ABOUT–After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six andinjured1,000, President Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S.military personnel, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224and injured 5,000, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunted down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39U.S. sailors, Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunteddown and punished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, an estimated 7,000 people wouldbe alive today.

This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Withoutcasting stones, it is a legitimate question.

“There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relativelyinexpensive software used by tens of millions of people and giveshundreds of millions of dollars to charity. The other sponsorsterrorism.That being the case, why is it that the US government has spent moremoney chasing down Bill Gates over the past ten years than Osama binLaden?”

–Dan, from Needles, CA

BIKERTOBERFEST INITIAL REPORT–Hello from sunny Daytona Beach, Fla. I’m having a great time so far. The softail is running like a champ. And you could not ask for better weather. Last night I was minding my own business, locking up my trusty 1200 at the Iron Horse, when I was kidnapped by 4 shady charactors from Ohio. They forced me to show them the secret shortcut to Main St, then force fed me Baileys and Kaluas at Froggys.

Dave Perowitz saw me struggling to get away but acted like he did not recognize me. I ran into Hammer and Geno from HORSE magazine today. They were getting ready to shoot this killer CSI chopper. I’m hitting the Corbin party tonight with Charlene Sparks and the crew from Drag Specialties. Everywhere you look are savage scoots. Sunday will be here before I know it, so I’m making the most of Biketoberfest while I can still stand. Saturday night is the Horse party. That ought to be “interesting.” Yeahha! Oh thanks for the package, got it today.

–CrazyHorse
Bikernet Bike Show Manager

TASTELESS JOKE DEPARTMENT– An airplane was going down & everybody knew they would crash in the open ocean below. A well-dressed rich lady takes out her jewelry box and puts on every diamond and all the gold jewelry she owns!

The passengers all look at her and say what are you doing?

She says, “When we are in the ocean my diamonds & gold will sparkle and I will be the first one they rescue!”

Then another woman takes off her blouse and covers herself with $100dollar bills?

The passengers all look at her, and she says, “When we are in the oceanthe $100 dollar bills will be floating all around me and they will find me first”!!!!!

THEN a black lady tears off all her clothes and just gets butt naked!!!!!

One of the female passengers looks at her and asks —- lady what areyooou doing?

The black lady says…”GIRL!!!!! You know they always look for the black box first!!!!!!!!!!!!!

–Chris T.

PAMELA ANDERSON IN THE BEGINNING–Beautiful Pamela Anderson’s original Fast Dates Calendar shoot!Our never before seen or published photos! It’s the world’s hottestpinup girl and TV star posing on the factory Yoshimua Suzuki “Big Papa”Formula Extreme bike from our first ever 1991 Fast Dates Racebike PinupCalendar shoot taken way back in 1990.

Before Playboy, before implants, before Baywatch, before Barb Wire,before Tommy Lee, before VIP we gave you Pamela first. Now check out anexclusive portfolio of never before published Pam ela Anderson calendarphotos in Members Corner at http://www.FastDates.com

All 2002 FastDates.com Calendars Selling Out Fast. Order Online Now!The 2002 editions of the FastDates.com Calendars are selling out fast.Featuring Iron & Lace cover girl and Penthouse Pet of the Year Zdenka.Go online to order your calendars now before they are gone. We expectto sell out by mid November -that’s just 4 weeks away.http://www.FastDates.comI recieved this email today …It sounds believable I am forwarding it incase someone did see this happen..they ‘d know what to do…Subject: Please take a moment to read this~ unbelieveable!!

BIKETOBERFEST INVESTIGATION–On the weekend of October 20th at Daytona Florida’s annual Biketoberfest avery close friend of mine, his wife and 3 year old daughter. Witnessed ahorrific bike accident. The Motorcyclist was traveling at approximately 50miles per hour when he laid the bike down. The Bike and Rider tumbledsideways for quite a distance. Eventually the rider separated from the bikeand was crumbled in a bloody heap. This occurred in front of a crowd ofonlookers.

My friend who is a highly decorated ex marine, including a purple heartrecipient, in his mid 50’s. Is a former member of Montauk, NY. Ambulancesquad. Did not think twice of racing to render aid to the accident victim.With total disregard for his self he tried to revive the victim who had nopulse and was not breathing. After a few moments he detected a weak pulseand rattling breathing. He drew upon his knowledge both as a combat veteranand ambulance person to save the fragile life before him.

He was relieved to see two officers approach him. Immediately noticing thepatches on their uniforms identifying them as EMT’s (Emergency MedicalTechnicians) . When my friend was asked “What Happened ?” he immediatelygave the two individuals the status of the victim. The whole time he wasreassuring the person that he would be fine. He tried to express to theofficers/EMT’s without alarming the victim that it was very urgent that thecyclist get medical attention or he would not make it.He asked the officers if they had a neck brace. They stated they did, butrefused to get it until they found out what happened! They walked around andasked other people what had happened. Ignoring the fact that this person wasextremely close to death and his fate was in their hands.

The victim began to regain consciousness, gurgling blood, he tried to bringhimself to a crawling position. My friend suspecting he may have a seriousneck injury held him down and reassured him that help was there and he wouldbe alright. He pleaded with the Officer /EMT’s to help stabilize the victimwith a collar and to get him to a Hospital. The officers became arrogant andtold him to leave the victim. He questioned if they were going to help him.He was told not until we find out what happened. My friend explained he wasa former Ambulance squad member and stressed the urgency of the situation.The officer turned to the other officer and said get him out of here.

At that point to the amazement and dismay of his wife and 3 year olddaughter, the other police officer forcibly handcuffed and screamed for helpfrom other officers. He was taken to jail where he was detained for Sixhours and charged with several Felonies. (Resisting arrest, interfering witha police scene, assaulting an officer, etc.)None of which is true.

In writing this I ask that you forward this to anyone you know. I am lookingfor witnesses that can help shed light on this story. Even if you don’t rideMotorcycles someone you know may know someone. People travel from all overthe United States to attend this event. If anyone witnessed this Pleasecontact me:

–Casey Cass
C/O : Montauk Boat Works
P.O. Box 1222
Montauk , NY 11954
or call Toll free 877-668-BOAT
Fax: 631-668-3996
Email : MontaukBoatWorks@AOL.COM

BIKERNET SERVICE OPPORTUNITIES WEEKLY SUMMARY– 1) People in N.Y. and D.C. are going to hit the food banks in their area this winter. Here is an easy way for us to help – Campbells is donating a can of soup to area food banks when people click on a football helmet at their website. It’s quick, easy and can be done once a day.

Go to www.chunky.com/click_for_cans.asp then click on your favorite team’s helmet and Campbell’s will donate a can of soup. That’s it! Please pass this on to your friends.

2) www.thehungersite.com – you can click once a day and the site will donate free food to charities around the world. You can also access the Breast Cancer site from there – again a click to help pay the cost of a mammogram for women who could not otherwise afford it.

–from Robin Norell

CRAZYHORSE FINAL BIKETOBERFEST REPORT– I wasn’t sure what to expect at Biketoberfest this year, but I wasn’texpecting things to go the way they did. This event just keeps growing. Notmany bikes in the shows. Everyone was out riding, taking advantage of theunreal weather. It was so warm I was wearing a tank top for night timeriding. The crowds were thick.

American flags were everywhere. Flying offthe backs of bikes, posted in windows, and stretched across double Ds. Theage of the billet barge is gone. Choppers were everywhere. Hot days andcrazy nights. I didn’t get in until after 5am most nights. I tried to stayout of trouble but it kept finding me. As soon as I get the rest of thepictures, I’m gonna pour myself a cocktail, sit at the keyboard, and try toget the whole crazy week down in writing. From the Corbin party to the nightI got kidnapped and everything in between.

A separate report on the HorseBack Street Choppers magazine party willfollow. That party needs it’s own pages. It was the strangest and mostintense night I have had in years. And after this past summer, that’s sayingsomething.

— Crazy Horse

TV GUIDE–AFGHAN EDITION–Fall Primetime Show Lineup (where available)

MONDAYS:
8:00 – “Husseinfeld”
8:30 – “Mad About Everything”
9:00 – “Suddenly Sanctions”
10:00 – “Allah McBeal”

TUESDAYS:
8:00 – “Wheel of Torture”
8:30 – “The Price Isn’t Right”
9:30 – “Afghanistan’s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers”
10:00 – “Buffoon, The Infidel Slayer”

WEDNESDAYS:
8:30 – “When Northern Alliances Attack”
9:00 – “Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pitta Bread”
9:30 – “Just Shoot Everyone”
10:00 – “Veilwatch”

THURSDAYS:
8:00 – “Matima Loves Chachi”
8:30 – “M*U*S*T*A*S*H”
9:30 – “My Two Baghdad’s”
10:00 – “Diagnosis: Heresy”

FRIDAYS:
8:00 – “Judge Laden”
8:30 – “Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things”
9:00 – “Tic, Tac, Taliban”
10:00 – “No-witness News”

SATURDAYS
8:00 – “All In Allah’s Family”
8:30 – “Everybody Loves Osama”
9:30 – “Flintstones” (Sci-Fi Channel)
10:00 – “60 Minutes Of Public Executions”

SUNDAYS
8:00 – “Omar’s Jeopardy”
8:30 – “Name That Explosion”
9:30 – “Bowling For Bread”
10:00 – “CNN”

IF IN AN ACCIDENT CALL (800) ON-A-BIKE– AIM and Richard Lester the main entity behind the National Coalition of Motorcyclists has one mantra, to help bikes stay free and stand by them if in accidents.

Recently a husband and wife were traveling in Valley, Alabama, on their 1998 Harley when an automobile driven by a 67 year old retired physician attempted to make a left hand directly into their lane of travel. The only two eyewitnesses to the collision initially stated that the automobile failed to yield the right-of-way, turning directly in front of the bikers. The results for the couple was that an AIM attorney was able to $893,000. So call these guys, if you or a friend are in an accident.

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We are introducing the FIRST B.Y.O.B. kit that was created as anintegrated concept by one of the world?s greatest custom designers…. PaulYaffe. The whole definitely exceeds the sum of it?s parts. Call it ?synergy? if you want. We call it gorgeous… and the next level in buildit yourself customs!

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More shots of Biketoberfest from Rogue.

LET’S HIT THE ROAD–I hate negative bullshit that prevents us from chasing women, building bikes and riding. We only have so much time to enjoy our lives, so I try to deal with the bullshit with pride and integrity and move on. I’m sure many others dealing with this terrorist feel the same.

The bottom line, do what you can to support those who fight and those who lost relatives, then party and ride.–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

SEA FARING ADVICE–Sounds like you’re doin’ it! Right up there with Jack London, butyou will be “The Sailor On Motorcycle.” Hop’a freighter outta Houston andhitch-hike ’round tha world. KOOL! Rent’a bike as ya go? Or take THEIRV-Rod?

Will ya go as a “gunner’s mate,” or will they hand ya a paint”chipper”:) Tell’em I said, “he can handle any job.” Ride On!

–Wino Joe

LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOMWEEK–
1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP
2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER
4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
5. DON’T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER
6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG
7. IF YOU’RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACKIT.
8. IF U THINK SHE’S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE
10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER
11. SHE WON’T GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK
12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
13. WHLE YER UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS
14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE
15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER
16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
17. DON’T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL
18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION
19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL
20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER
21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

BIKERNET UGLY FINDINGS–The correspondents at Bikernet don’t just shuffle through press releases. They also dig into the lives of bikers and club members nationwide. Here’s a report from Carlo, a member of the Uglies, who with his wife, Emma, owned Auburn Harley-Davidson and are avid drag racers. Emma, a delightful woman, crashed recently. Here’s the inside story from husband and riding partner Carlo:

Some of you have been told that Emma was in an accident. She isrecovering well. We were on our way to her mother’s house to take themout for lunch. They live in West Point, Calif., which is north of Jackson, Calif., inthe mountain area. We were traveling down the last canyon before their house and came into a double turn. The first turn was asemi-blind turn and there was a big rig towing dump trailers on theyellow line. These roads are not very wide to begin with, so I movedover to clear the truck and cut off Emma so she couldn’t see the massive vehicle.

I was watching in the mirror as shewas on the edge of the pavement and just could not hold it. She rodethe shoulder in the gravel and rocks and was doing very well. She wasgetting the front wheel back on the pavement when the rear wheel caughta rut and started a slide. It appeared to catch and high side,slamming her hard. We are not sure if she hit the rocks with her faceor what happened, but her upper lip was split from the bottom of her nosedown and several teeth were knocked out.Of course I did the right thing and rode to the nearest bar for a drink. I won’t go into the gory details here. Other damages include a fractured left arm at the ball atthe shoulder socket, a couple compressed discs in the upper back,road rash and bruises. Her FLHTC has not been to the hospital atthis time. We are hoping for a full recovery for both, especially the motorcycle.

–Ugly Carlo

SPEAKING OF CRASHES–Is Your Motorcycle Bodywork Broken, Scratched Or Cracked?

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EXCLUSIVE BIKERNET PHOTO–TALIBAN MISSILE–I just got this picture forwarded to me from a friend at CBS News of the damage that occurred from the first Afghan missile that just hit the USA.

–Markus Cuff
Bikernet Overseas Photog

CNN NEWS BULLETIN– At a hastily called press conference this morning, Taliban Minister of Emigration Mohammed Omar warned the United States that if any military action was taken against Afghanistan, Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America’s supply of convenience store managers.

–Kyle

TWISTGEAR AND WIDEGEAR TRAPDOOR ASSEMBLIES–In response to repeated requests from builders and consumers for aless labor intensive installation, Johnson Engineering, the new leader inengineered drive train components for American V-Twins, announces theavailability of their helical transmission gearing in fully assembledtrapdoor sets.

Both the WideGear 30mm extension, as well as the original TwistGear, can beinstalled right out of the box in 1991 and up Softails, as well as otheraftermarket five-speeds using trapdoor transmission access.

Incorporating their breakthrough helical fifth-gear, the assemblies includeJohnson Engineering’s unique four-point bearings on both the counter andoutput shafts for unrivaled strength and reliability.

WideGear’s 30mm extension allows rear tire fitment of up to 230mm withoutoffsetting the wheel, engine, or transmission. Total additonal tire widthis a huge100mm when used with a chain final drive, or 60mm with a stockinch and a half rear belt.

The assemblies, featuring the superiority of a one-piece countershaft,install easily without removing the engine or transmission and should savethe average rebuilder at least two hours of labor, with the added benefitof precision factory adjustment.

Trapdoor sets include JE’s exclusive triple lip transmission oil seal andchamfered transmission spacer – guaranteed labor savers that drasticallyreduce the need for constant seal replacement.

WideGear assemblies include an extended clutch pushrod, compensatorsprocket and nut, engine and transmission spacers, a starter coupler, andan end support bearing in the compensator nut for use with a suitable outerprimary.

Softail assemblies are available immediately, while Dyna and FLapplications (call for specific model information) are built to order at aslight additional cost. Options include choice of trapdoor, finish, andfirst gear ratios.

Prices for TwistGear begin at $1,750, depending on application.

Contact Johnson Engineering for ordering information.

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’–by a KeepAndBearArms.com LA correspondent

If you ever wondered if California was really La-la Land, really the ultimate PC state, wonder no more.California Gov. Gray Davis is so politically correct he apparently doesn’t believe in arming the very people he sends in harm’s way to defend the citizens of his state.

If you look at the photo from last Saturday’s Los Angeles Times (click for enlargement), first brought to our attention by Citizens Of America creative director Jim Houck, you can see that the guardsman is holding a rifle with no ammunition magazine. At most, this rifle has one cartridge in the chamber, but that is extremely doubtful. The message this photo sends to terrorists and copy-cat lunatics: This California airport is NOT protected by armed Guardsmen.

BIKERNET DAYTONA CORRESPONDENT REPORTS–Will be in and out of Daytona next week. Shit, it’s only a little over an hourride. I will get you some shots. Waiting to see what happens and what effect thecurrent world situation has on it.

Two reports so far: One guy said Main Street was dead and the stores won’topen until Wednesday; the other said the campgrounds were jammin’. Well I guess we will find out. Will try to get you an early story in.

–ROGUE

CHECK CUSTOM CHROME DEPARTMENT–We are working with Custom Chrome and expanding their department with a series of wide tire-related components from their catalog. We’ll be installing a Twin Cam wide tire kit in the near future and perhaps building a bike-in-a-box kit on Bikernet. Stay tuned.

SHORT TIMER–Since we’re packing for the desert run, we’ve got to get moving. Besides, she’s naked in the bedroom.

I’m looking forward to this weekend, to seeing lots of the bros and meeting hard-working Helen Wolfe for the first time. Sure, I’ll be glad to see the girls of Vegas, but when we return time is running out before the ship pulls out of Houston.

Next week we’ll be hooking up the satellite phone, so I’ll be online even in Hong Kong. That’s right, Bikernet doesn’t slow down just because I’m fooling with Oriental girls, although Sin Wu will be jealous as hell. Have a great weekend. –Bandit

Quiz Answer: It’s the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!

Click For Larger .pdf View

The above design came from a rider, Rick, who I featured in ER years ago. Here’s a shot from that feature. Thanks, Rick, it was good to hear from you. Let’s get to the news. I’ve got duties to perform for the JIMS run to Vegas. We’re burnin’ daylight!

BIKERNET CAMPING ADVICE– One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had noidea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, “Please God,give methe strength to cross this river.

” Poof! God gave him big arms andstrong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours,after almost drowning a couple times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, “Please God,give me the strength and the tools to cross this river.”

Poof! God gave hima rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almostcapsizing the boat a couple times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so healso prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength and the tools…and the intelligence… to cross this river.”

And poof! Godturned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.

NCOM COAST-TO-COAST BIKER NEWS–Compiled and edited by Bill Bish,National Coalition of Motorcyclists

BIKERS SUPPORT 9-11 VICTIMS ?In the weeks following the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, bikers across the country have come together to offer support and assistance to the victims? families. ?From poker runs to rallies to passing the hat, motorcyclists have raised funds and awareness.

Four bikers from South Carolina?s Hells Angels Motorcycle Club braved two days of harsh weather while riding to New York City to present a $10,000 check to Engine Co. 33/Ladder 9, which lost 10 men in the World Trade Center attacks. ?Joining them at the station house were members of the New York City Hells Angels, who gave a $5,000 check of their own.

”The Fire Department and EMS are always there for us. ?It?s time we did for them,” said Ken Hanneman, 45, who orchestrated the fund-raising at The Kickin? Horse, a South Carolina saloon he co-owns. ?

The money was presented to Battalion 6 Chief Rich Burban outside the station house on Great Jones Street. ”It?s overwhelming. The support just doesn?t stop,” Burban said.

Indeed, from independent riders to outlaws, and from organized charity rides to donation jars at bike shops, motorcycle riders have poured out their hearts and their wallets to help the less fortunate during these trying times.NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS (NCOM)

EPA SHIFTS FOCUS TO STREET MOTORCYCLES ?According to Reuters News Service, on Sept. 19, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency proposed to curb emissions from snowmobiles, diesel-powered boats, off-road motorcycles and all-terrain vehicles to help reduce pollution, especially in national parks. ?New limits will be established for carbon monoxide and nitrogen oxides emitted by the engines, the EPA said.

Currently, off-highway motorcycles and all-terrain vehicles aren?t regulated by any federal emissions standards, but owners will now be ”encouraged” to switch from two-stroke engines to four-stroke engines in 2006. ?In addition, all-terrain vehicles would also need to meet a stricter limit beginning in 2009.

For the full story and more legislative news check Bikers Right News on Bikernet, sponsored by AIM. And don’t forget, if you know of anyone who had an accident, call (800) ON-A-BIKE for prompt legal assistance.

CAROLINA H-D SPY ON PROJECTS REPORT–I stopped by Carolina H-D today. Took a few pics in the fab shop. The lifts are full with hardtails. The seat came for the Softail today. I’m all packed up and ready for Biketoberfest. I don’t know what adventures lie ahead. All I know is that if you post these shots I gotta get outta town.

–Crazy Horse

GEE LOOK, ANTI-TERRORISM HUMOR– (or maybe not). Could thisactually work? Would the American public acquiesce to riding on a planewith animals? Would a pig be the only reason the terrorist scum go tohell? Hmmmmm…is it worth considering?…….

An Israeli friend recently informed me (actually, a friend of friend ofa friend, etc…)that the UK fought the Islamic attacks by burying dead terrorists with apig. Apparently Muslims believe that if ones’ body is buried with a pig (because they areconsidered unclean), their soul will go to hell.

I did a little research into this subject matter and found it tobe true. This got me thinking. If we put a baby pig on every airlineflight, then all suicide bombers would abort their missions, as they would notwant their souls to go to hell. Additionally, if we drop-shipped, ohsay, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan, think our recon and assault effortsmay be more successful? ?Apparently Muslims dislike the very sight ofpigs. They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spiketheir water supply with a few thousands gallons of Jim Beam, get themshit-faced drunk and turn the pigs loose. The warwould be over in a weekend . .. . . Just a thought.

–Kris B

–Helen W.
Bikernet Drag Racing Correspondent

From Bob T.

BIKERNET DETECTIVE QUIZ– Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Mariners baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels into the game. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves drinking Jack Daniels mixed with soft drinks.

Soon they realize that the bottle of Jack Daniels is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.

Using the clues given, what inning is the game in and what is the status of the game?

Think! (ANSWER: at end of news)

BIKERNET STICKER MANUFACTURER INVESTIGATED–A biker from Hawaii, who owns the above company, makes our hot little stickers. We thought he was nuts so we investigated his company and why this So Ccal boy would go to the island and sniff sticker glue. It’ll be posted next week along with guidelines on ordering stickers for your club, biz or organization.

BIKERNET SURVEILLANCE PICKS UP OFFICIAL PHONE CALL–Osama bin Laden phoned President George W. Bush

“I had a dream about the United States,” he said.”I could see the whole country, and over everybuilding and home was a banner,” said bin Laden.

“What was on the banner?” asked Mr. Bush.

“LONG LIVE OSAMA!” answered the terrorist.

“I’m so glad that you called,” said President Bush,”because I too had a dream. ?In my dream, I sawAfghanistan and it was more beautiful than ever;totally rebuilt with many tall, gleaming officebuildings, large residential subdivisions withswimming pools full of men and women; and overevery building and home was a big, beautifulbanner.”

“What did the banner say?” asked Osama.

“I don’t know,” answered President Bush,

“I can’t READ HEBREW.”

Continued on Page 2

Compiled and Edited by BILL BISH,NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS

OHIO CONSIDERS BIKER ANTI-DISCRIMINATION BILL As Fall comes into full swing, the legislative staff of the Ohio Motorcyclists Coalition has been hard at work through the Summer advancing the cause of Equal Access for all motorcyclists. House Bill 238, which seeks to outlaw discrimination against motorcyclists, now has the support of at least 24 Ohio Representatives, and it has passed its first Sponsor’s Hearing.

Sponsored by Ohio Rep. Sylvester Patton (D64), HB 238 would prohibit the denial of access to public accommodations to persons because they ride motorcycles or wear clothing that displays the name of a motorcycle-related organization. So while most riders were enjoying a Summer ride, the OMC lobbying team of Ralph Buss, Michael Stanley and Michael Warren accompanied OMC Lobbyist Ed Hogan to a face to face meeting with Ohio’s Attorney General, Betty Montgomery, to discuss the need for statutory protections for bikers.

Ralph Buss, the Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) Attorney for Ohio, Kentucky and West Virginia, initiated the first Biker Anti-Discrimination Bill in the country in 1994 when it was introduced in the Ohio Legislature. Since that time, at least 19 states have considered such legislation, with Minnesota becoming the first state to enact Equal Access Legislation in 1998. Earlier this year, Texas overwhelmingly passed an Equal Access bill through their legislature, only to have it vetoed at the last minute by their governor.

U.S. SUPREME COURT APPROVES ROADBLOCKS The U.S. Supreme Court concluded it is constitutional for law enforcement officers to set up roadblocks to randomly check motorists and other road users for proper driver’s licenses.

Without comment, the justices declined to hear — and thus let stand — an Ohio Supreme Court ruling that concluded roadblocks established by Dayton police did not violate the U. S. Constitution’s ban on unreasonable search and seizure.

The justices handed a victory to Dayton police who set up roadblocks to catch unlicensed drivers. Dayton officials argued that the checks took only a matter of moments and that the city had a compelling reason to determine whether operators were legally licensed to drive.

With its decision not to hear the case, the justices expanded the reach of two of their earlier decisions that provided police with broader powers to establish checkpoints without first obtaining a warrant.

This news should be of particular interest to motorcyclists, who typically are vociferously opposed to unwarranted stop, question and search methods as a means of profiling bikers, though such roadblocks would certainly improve on the high percentage of riders who are unlicensed

SMILE, IT’S BIG BROTHER According to the Associated Press, a judge in San Diego dismissed 290 Red Light camera tickets on September 3rd saying the camera evidence was inadmissible because of the “private corporation’s role in operation of the system and its per-ticket collection of fees violated state law.”

The National Motorists Association and other organizations have long questioned the effectiveness of these cameras and instead have campaigned for increasing the yellow time which has been effective in nearly eliminating tickets from locations where the red-light cameras have been installed. You can visit the NMA at www.motorists.org.BIKER MAGAZINE

TARGET PRACTICE A good story deserves a good airing. What follows was spotted in BIKER magazine, which had spotted it in PILOT magazine. Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were recently having a pleasant time out on the Scottish moors, trapping speeding motorists with a radar gun. Suddenly their equipment went crazy, registering a speed of over 300 miles per hour. It then locked up completely. Seconds later the startled boys in blue understood why, as a low-flying Harrier jet screamed over their heads.

Upset that their radar gun had been broken, the policemen put in a complaint to the Royal Air Force-only to discover that the damage could easily have been much worse. The RAF informed them that the Harrier’s target-seeker had locked on to what it had interpreted as enemy radar. This immediately triggered an automatic air-to-surface missile attack. Fortunately for the two policemen, the Harrier was operating unarmed.

S.C. SUPREME COURT HEARS TATTOO CASE South Carolina’s highest court heard a challenge to the state’s tattooing ban, focusing on whether the practice is an issue of free speech or public health, reports the ASSOCIATED PRESS.

Ronald White, who was sentenced to five years of probation for illegal tattooing, says a South Carolina law that allows tattooing only by physicians violates his First Amendment right of free expression. Oklahoma is the only other state with a similar law banning tattooing.

“We all have a right to look at a painting, but this law would ban the artist from painting it,” White’s lawyer, Jared Newman, told the South Carolina Supreme Court on Wednesday, November 14.

But Charles Richardson of the state attorney general’s office said the law was “not a banning of ideas, but the medium utilized. … the human body.”

“Isn’t tattooing a form of artwork?” Chief Justice Jean Toal asked. She said tattooing was mentioned in literature and throughout history as a form of expression and that courts have held that activities such as nude dancing were forms of expression.”

Newman said the state allows other forms of so-called body art, such as piercing. In that case, practitioners must be licensed and regulated, restrictions that would also eliminate the public health concerns surrounding tattoos.

State Sen. William Mescher has been trying since 1994 to legalize and regulate tattooing. His chief opponent has been Rep. Jake Knotts, who has said that “if the Lord wanted you to have a tattoo, he would have put it on you.”

White, 32, contends that tattooing is older than most of today’s religions and said he has given many illegal tattoos in South Carolina, though he has stopped tattooing here because it would be a violation of his probation.

As he and other tattoo aficionados await the court’s decision, White said he was encouraged by the justices’ line of questioning. “I think they were educated questions and (the justices) realize they are dealing with an art form.”

Last fall, a Massachusetts trial judge ruled that state’s law banning tattooing violated free speech rights. Another judge kept the ban in effect for several months so the state could create industry regulations, and tattoo parlors began operating there legally in February.PAGE IVEY, AP Writer

BIKER FOOTBALL Berlin’s “Dynamo” football team was recently purchased by the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club in Germany, reports the German newspaper “BILD”. The football club was prepared to file for bankruptcy, but has been rescued by the local bikers.

The team dominated East German football under the Communists, and went down-hill dramatically after the fall of the Berlin Wall. It is currently facing relegation to Germany’s fifth division.

With debts of $3.5 million, Dynamo Berlin was all set to register its bankruptcy prior to the bikers’ bailout of the team.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD: POLICE BAN KNIGHT FROM HIS IRON HORSE A Dutch man dressed as a knight in shining armor riding on a motorcycle made to look like a horse has been ordered off the road. Police in Zwijndrecht say the 41-year-old frightened members of the public every time he went shopping.

He dresses as a medieval knight complete with aluminum armor. His motorcycle has been rebuilt with steel plates in the shape of a horse.

Police have seized the iron steed on the grounds that it is not road worthy and could be dangerous to other road users.

The ‘knight’ has now got a warrant to get his ‘horse’ back but must rebuild it to its original form.

It is not known why he went shopping disguised as a knight, reports the Dutch press agency ANP.

FREE ITALIAN PIZZA FOR HELMET WEARERS A southern Italian council is offering a complimentary pizza to young motorcyclists who wear a helmet.

Traffic wardens in Acerra have been told to give vouchers to those seen wearing helmets entitling them to a free restaurant feed.

Mayor Michelangelo Riemma says he decided on the move to improve road safety among young motorcyclists.

Although wearing helmets while riding is compulsory in Italy, the rule is not observed by some people.

TGCOM website reports that Mr Riemma said: “I’ve had an accident earlier this year on my Vespa and the helmet saved my life. That is why I’m trying to do everything I can to get my fellow young citizens wearing a helmet as well.”

QUOTABLE QUOTES: “Don’t be disquieted in time of adversity. Be firm with dignity and self-reliant with vigor.”CHIANG KAI-SHEK(1886-1975) Chinese soldier, statesman

Police State By Kelly Patricia O’Meara

If the United States is at war against terrorism to preserve freedom,a new coalition of conservatives and liberals is asking, why is it doing soby wholesale abrogation of civil liberties? They cite the Halloween-weekpassage of the antiterrorism bill – a new law that carries the almostpreposterously gimmicky title: “Uniting and Strengthening America byProviding Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct TerrorismAct” (USA PATRIOT Act). Critics both left and right are saying it not onlystrips Americans of fundamental rights but does little or nothing to securethe nation from terrorist attacks.

Rep. Ron Paul of Texas, one of only three Republican lawmakers tobuckthe House leadership and the Bush administration to vote against thislegislation, is outraged not only by what is contained in the antiterrorismbill but also by the effort to stigmatize opponents. Paul tells Insight,”The insult is to call this a ‘patriot bill’ and suggest I’m not patrioticbecause I insisted upon finding out what is in it and voting no. I thoughtit was undermining the Constitution, so I didn’t vote for it – and thereforeI’m somehow not a patriot. That’s insulting.”

Paul confirms rumors circulating in Washington that this sweeping newlaw, with serious implications for each and every American, was not madeavailable to members of Congress for review before the vote. “It’s myunderstanding the bill wasn’t printed before the vote – at least I couldn’tget it. They played all kinds of games, kept the House in session all night,and it was a very complicated bill. Maybe a handful of staffers actuallyread it, but the bill definitely was not available to members before thevote.”

And why would that be? “This is a very bad bill,” explains Paul, “andI think the people who voted for it knew it and that’s why they said, ‘Well,we know it’s bad, but we need it under these conditions.'” Meanwhile,efforts to obtain copies of the new law were stonewalled even by thecommittee that wrote it. Kelly Patricia O’Meara is an investigative reporter for Insight.

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com

NOTE: The tragic events of September 11th took place right after I wrote last month’s Gunny’s Sack, so I didn’t have the opportunity to make a comment at that time. ?Nevertheless, be assured that I’m appalled and dismayed at the massive criminal acts that took place in the name of any religion. ?These people will, by whatever means needed, be brought to swift justice, and I fully support our government and all others that are involved in this task.

Here is the Sack for November. ?
-SEMPER FI, Gunny

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

NYC, NY: All right folks, the world situation has hit the fan, and it’s hard for this old biker to keep his trap shut about it, even in this column that’s by, for, and about bikers. ?That’s because being a biker is also about brotherhood, sisterhood, and living and doing what’s right. ?I hope by the time this Sack hits your mailbox, we’ll be done with our job overseas, and pray we’re not hit again at home.

Our Oregon A.I.M. Attorney, Sam Hochberg, grew up in the Bronx, in New York City, and he told me a horror story or two. ?His nephew was 4 blocks from the World Trade Center when it was hit, and that boy had to skeedaddle pretty quick. ?This is the time we all need to get behind our President, and support our young men and women in uniform. ?Semper Fi from the Gunny to you all.

NEW YORK, NY: There is SOME news from NYC that isn’t about the WTC: Patch holders there won another battle. ?An agreement says the NYC Police will pay 14 Hells Angels nearly $200,000.00 plus attorney fees and other costs, and in return the Angels will drop their legal action.

All this stemmed from the alleged illegal forced entry into the clubhouse and apartments searching for suspects in another matter without a search warrant by New York police. ?New York already has paid this club $565,000.00 for raiding them once before and ignoring warrant instructions. ?This time I guess they didn’t even bother with a warrant.

Now I just KNOW, based on recent events in NYC, that New York’s finest is made of better stuff than that. ?Maybe they just don’t learn very well when it comes to bikers.

KANSAS CITY, MO: Harley-Davidson is moving their Dyna assembly line on out to Kansas City, Missouri. ?They already are doing some fabrication and painting there. ?Guess this move will make manufacture of the Dyna bikes more cost effective. ?Wonder if they will reflect that in purchase prices? ?They are building the ”Sportster” line there now, and they expect to build the new V-Rod bike there too.

GILROY, CA: Indian Motorcycle Co is on the mend with new top leadership joining ranks to pull the company together with a new influx of dough. ?”The strength of the Indian brand is unquestionable,” said Frank O’Connell, CEO. ?”With [new] financial backing…..and a dedicated, enthusiastic management team, we are well prepared to allow Indian Motorcycle to live up to the public’s high expectations.”

Now lets wait and see what happens. ?I wish Indian all the best. ?Years ago it was a fine scoot, and I was lucky enough to own one.

NIGERIA: ?There’s a place in Nigeria fighting poverty with motorcycles! ?Now, I’ve heard about all sorts of government handouts that I didn’t care for much over the years, but HERE’S one I’ll support: In the state of Imo, in Nigeria, they started this motorcycle loan program — they picked 54 poor but deserving people from around the state to get a motorcycle, just to help stimulate their economy. ?They’ll give out 100 when it’s all done. ?They will have to pay it back eventually. ?Man, what a deal. ?I’m moving there, so I can get my next bike! ?Oops. I’m not broke enough.

PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC: From the ”Czech A.M.” news folks comes this happy news: Bike sales in the Czech Republic are up 23% through August this year. ?That amounts to about 8,000 new bikes sold there. ?I’ve heard tell Prague is a beautiful city. ?Maybe I’ll get my old butt over there someday. ?Probably not, but I can dream can’t I?

TULSA, OK: Williams Travel Center Co Employees from all over North America will return to Tulsa after riding their motorcycles more than 2,000 miles, approximately 200 miles per day, to raise money and awareness for local United Way agencies. ?Forty-four riders departed Tulsa on Sept. 11 and were scheduled to return to Tulsa in time for a parade. ?I took a peek at their website, and it turns out they went forward with the ride, in spite of what ELSE happened that day!

Jamie McMurray, in the No. 27 Williams Travel Center NASCAR race car, was scheduled to lead the return parade, along with high school bands, Tulsa firefighters, and local dignitaries.

Two Williams employees started this fund-raiser, known as Riding the Line, in 1999 as a way to ride their bicycles to raise money for the United Way. ?Last year, 80 Williams employees raised $16 million. ?Because of that success, a motorcycle ride was added this year and the bicycle tour expanded.

Williams will match all new contributions dollar-for-dollar. ?For additional information about Riding the Line or to make a donation, visit the official ride Internet site, accessible from www.williams.com. ?If you click on the ”motorcycle ride” section, turn on your speakers for continuous loud pipes!

BOLOGNA, ITALY: Ducati ?is introducing their Multistrada1000, a ?new generation sport bike with some hot performance, at least as long as there is pavement. ?The Multistrada is a high-spec bike with Superbike goodies, but that still offers some of the conveniences, flexibility, ?and storage of the big enduros.

This thing sounds like the ultimate sport bike that will run the twisties, but still carry saddlebags for old farts like me. ?I like to take junk on trips and still be comfortable after a long day. ?Might have to look this critter over.

PARIS, FRANCE: According to the British news service, PA News, the first organized motorcycle race wasn’t in the USA, and it wasn’t in Germany: It happened in France, in 1896! ?It was just eight riders on a 476-mile course from Paris to Nantes and back. ?I guess the Americans had to play catch-up back then. ?And we Americans think we’re so smart.

MIDDLETOWN, PA: A seventy-three year old Pennsylvania resident won herself a brand new Harley ”1200 Sportster” in a second chance drawing.

Pauline Gutshall recently won her prize through the Lottery’s HARLEY-DAVIDSON instant ticket second-chance promotion. ?Pauline gets her motorcycle during a special presentation at Susquehanna Valley Harley-Davidson/Buell, in Harrisburg.

”I never dreamed I’d ever win a motorcycle she said. ?I don’t expect I’ll ride it but I’ve got some two sons and some grandchildren that probably will.” ?Hey, do you want another grandkid, Pauline?

GUNNY AGAIN: Our Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) attorneys across the country take very good care of us, even when we don’t. ?If you have an accident please do yourself a favor and call your nearest A.I.M. Attorney. ?They will talk to you free, and if you hire them, they don’t get paid if you don’t. ?That’s real incentive to work extra hard in your behalf. ?Not to mention they network with each other all across the nation so yer gettin’ lots of brain power. ?You can reach them nationwide at 1-800 ON-A-BIKE. ?Sam Hochberg here in Oregon is available at 1-800-347-1106 or if its a local call 503/224-1106.

Next month, I’ll have a report on the NCOM West Coast Regional Meeting, up in Federal Way, Washington. ?Remember that the NCOM (NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS) International Convention is in New Orleans the 9th thru the 11th of May 2002. ?This will be the biggest and the best yet. ?I’ll be there, so don’t miss it. ?I’ll buy you a drink if you mention the SACK to me when we talk. ?Details coming.

Keep the round side on the bottom.
Gunny, Oregon A.I.M. Chief of Staff

Continued From Page 3

WANT TO ACHIEVE MORE THAN 100 PERCENT–

We have all been to those meetings wheresomeone wants more than 100 percent. Well, here’s how you do that.Here’s how you can achieve 103 percent.

First of all, here’s a little math that mightprove helpful in the future.How does one achieve 100 percent?Begin by noting the following:

IF:
A = 1
B = 2
C = 3
D = 4
E = 5
F = 6
G = 7
H = 8
I = 9
J = 10
K = 11
L = 12
M = 13
N = 14
O = 15
P = 16
Q =17
R = 18
S =19
T = 20
U = 21
V = 22
W = 23
X = 24
Y = 25
Z = 26

Then:H A R D W O R K =8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = Only 98 percent

Similarly,K N O W L E D G E =11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = Only 96 percent

But interestingly,A T T I T U D E =1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 percent … This is howyou achieve 100 percent in LIFE.

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO NOTE (orREALIZE), isB U L L S H I T =2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103 percent

So now you know what all those high-pricedconsultants, upper management and motivational speakers really mean when they want to exceed 100 percent!

–Gunracer

A MESSAGE FOR BIN LADEN–Osama bin Laden, your time is short;
We’d rather you die than come to court.

Why are you hiding if it was in God’s name?
You’re just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame.

I have a question about your theory and laws;
“How come you never die for the cause?”

Is it because you’re a coward who counts on others?
Well, here in America, we stand by our brothers.

AIM/NCOM NEWS–This is a taste of the legislative news pasted in the Bikers’ Rights section. This news is courtesy of AIM. Click on their banner and sign up for their free service. If you’re ever (hopefully never) in an accident, they’ll back your play and see that you are taken care of.

PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC: From the ”Czech A.M.” news folks comes this happy news: Bike sales in the Czech Republic are up 23 percent through August this year. ?That amounts to about 8,000 new bikes sold there. ?I’ve heard tell Prague is a beautiful city. ?Maybe I’ll get my old butt over there someday. ?Probably not, but I can dream can’t I?

TULSA, OK: Williams Travel Center Co. employees from all over North America will return to Tulsa after riding their motorcycles more than 2,000 miles, approximately 200 miles per day, to raise money and awareness for local United Way agencies. ?Forty-four riders departed Tulsa on Sept. 11 and were scheduled to return to Tulsa in time for a parade. ?I took a peek at their Web site, and it turns out they went forward with the ride, in spite of what ELSE happened that day!

Jamie McMurray, in the No. 27 Williams Travel Center NASCAR race car, was scheduled to lead the return parade, along with high school bands, Tulsa firefighters and local dignitaries.

Two Williams employees started this fundraiser, known as Riding the Line, in 1999 as a way to ride their bicycles to raise money for the United Way. ?Last year, 80 Williams employees raised $16 million. ?Because of that success, a motorcycle ride was added this year and the bicycle tour expanded.

Williams will match all new contributions dollar-for-dollar. ?For additional information about Riding the Line or to make a donation, visit the official ride Internet site, accessible from www.williams.com. ?If you click on the ”motorcycle ride” section, turn on your speakers for continuous loud pipes!

BUILDER’S KNUCK FOR SALE–Hey Keith, I’m WAY too busy to do anything to my Knuck, so if you knowanyone looking for a project, please let ’em know! I got 15 grand in itas it sits, not including paint labor for the wheels. – Timhttp://www.armageddontopfuel.com/extra%20pages/hellbilly.html.

It’s gonna be a “Bobber” style Knuckle, all black except for the 8-inch-wide back rim, which is Harley “Birch white” with big black checkers. That’s a 5-speed with a kicker, open belt, linked to an 88-inch S&S late lower end. The cylinders and heads are the unbelievable repops from Anders Nygren out of Sweden, Norway or Denmark (sorry Anders). A Moon “chopper” oil tank, an SJP reproduction Knucklehead frame that’s set up to take the 230 back tire and a new V-Twin springer.

Dual carbs, dual magneto, suicide clutch, jockey shift, open belt, no front brake and kick only….I was gonna finish it, then sell it to reinvest into A.T.F. but…. with this combination I’d just be askin’ for trouble. Besides, somebody would probably get killed on it. So I guess I’m STUCK WITH IT. Good for me………up in the rafters she goes.

–“Tim Conder”

If you’re looking for something with class, Tim is a world class builder and artist. Check it out.

IT IS THE YEAR 2032 It is the year 2032, and a father and his son walk the streets oflower Manhattan. Approaching the site where the WTC used to be in the endof the 20th century, the father sighs and comments, “to think that righthere used to be the Twin Towers…”

The son, not understanding, asks his father: “What are the TwinTowers?” The father smiles and looks at the son, and explains, “The Twin Towers were two huge buildings that used to be here until 2001, when the terrorist destroyed them.”

The son looks up to his father, and asks, “And what are the terrorists?”

NEW SPRINGERS FROM CHROME SPECIALTIES–This Springer design steps up to the next level in design and performance!Fork tubes are made from seamless drawn over mandrel tubing for acombination of smooth finish and strength.100 percent TIG welded, the welds are polished, filled with copper, and then triplechrome plated so the welds virtually disappear. All other components areC.N.C. machined from billet steel and hollowed-out underneath to reduceweight. The bolts on the trees, rockers and axle are made from heat-treatedstainless steel, polished and flush mounted.Rebuildable oil and piston driven gas shocks are used in springs to dampentravel.

? 4-inch over stock Springer length with 0 degree rake triple trees (not forstock replacement)

? Recommended for custom frames with at least 38degrees neck rake.

? Bottom tree has machined groove that works in conjunction with RollingThunder frames as an internal fork stop (no provision for fork stops onstock-style frames)

? Springer assembly is lighter than stock.

? Accepts stock style Springer wheel and brake assemblies

? Headlight mounting hole on top of Springer treeaccepts stock headlight

? Stock style fender mounting

? Ships assembled – ready to install 160350 4-inch over stock Springer front end Retail $2,495.

You can even buy it here at Parts Direct!

BANDIT’S VL FOR SALE–Completely restored by master restoration genius Mike Egan, this motorcycle is for sale for $42,000. Before I had it, it was owned by Lou Kimzey, the man who created Easyriders magazine. An unrestored sidecar is available if interested. E-mail me at Bandit@bikernet.com.

WINO JOE SCUTTLEBUTT–Crew, at this time, it’s “USA Forever”! Now we dig in and fight together andput aside ol’ bitches. What’tha hey, after this shit is over, we can getback’ta checkin’chests, or real gang wars.

For now, “get over it!” Thereis a real enemy and they might be on “YOUR” street. Find’em and you knowwhat to do with ’em. Communicate with each other. Know your pals!If you are an independent, Rich Urban Biker, hire any biker that hasjust lost a job. This is a good time to pull together asan all American family and fly the flag! Me and The Redhead(half Dago/partCherokee) will eat spaghetti/fry-bread and clean our guns. 500 years ofterror; the American way of life. After this, all that’ll beleft, will be PALS; real “Americans”: Red; White; Black; Brown; and therest of the crew that was stand-up thur this shit. Bikers Can Win!

–Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

BIKERNET GETS A PAT–We asked Cyril Huze what happened to his project bike and discovered that through Bikernet, he sold it and another rolling chassis at the same time. We’d like to take the credit, but it was actually Cyril’s bike building abilities that drew the attention. You can see the beginning stages of the project in the Bikernet Garage: Here’s what Cyril had to say: “I contacted the guy who bought the chassis, but he is not done yet with the bike. No pictures.

One other guy followed the story on your site and building an exact replica. I guide him through email because he is buying my accessories. What he is doing is top. He will send pictures.

So, sooner or later I will get pics of these bikes.

I am working on a rigid called …..”America”. When finished?(mid December), I can begin to send you the full story, step by step.

–Cyril
Cyril Huze CustomTel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET SPORTS SUMMARY–Three football fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a footsticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped anddiscovered a nude female, dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, ?theBronco fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. TheChargerfan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Followingtheirlead, the Raider fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted hisinspection. First, he lifted up the Bronco cap, replaced it and wrotedownsome notes. Next, he lifted the Charger cap, replaced it and wrote downsomemore notes. The officer then lifted the Raiders cap, replaced it, thenlifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced itonelast time.

The Bronco fan was getting upset and finally asked, “What are you, apervertor something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?”

Well,” said the officer. “I am surprised. Normally when I look under aRaider hat, I find an asshole”. John Stuart Mill

SLOGAN OF THE WEEK– “War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. What’s worse are the decayed and degraded state of morale and patriotic feelings, and thinking that nothing is worth war. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing he cares about more than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions and blood of better men than himself.”

-John Stuart Mill

BIKERNET FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT–Recently it was reported that the photograph of our correspondent positioned on the top of the World Trade Center was a fraud. Actually he is our oldest correspondent as evidenced by the above photos.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS BRIEF– Three men, a Canadian, Osama bin Laden and President Bush are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you one wish, that’s three wishes total,” says the Genie.

The Canadian says, “I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.

“With a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels can come into our precious state.

” Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

“President Bush, asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”

The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out—virtually impenetrable.”

“President Bush ” says, “Very impressive. Fill it with water.”

TEAM VESCO RACING ONCE AGAIN– On Oct. 17, beginning at 10 a.m. (MST), land speed racer Don Vesco, driving the Turbinator streamliner, will attempt to break the wheel-driven world land speed record.

The current mark is 403 mph, set by England’s Donald Campbell, in 1964 at Lake Eyre, Australia. Vesco already holds the national record at 427 mph, set in 1999 at the Bonneville Salt Flats.

Earlier this year in August, during BN’s Speedweek, Vesco and the Turbinator snagged the event’s coveted “Top Time” trophy while making a test run. More importantly, the streamliner posted the fastest speed — 459 mph — ever recorded in wheel driven automotive history. This test run sets the stage for the upcoming World Record attempt, Oct. 17 through 21 at the BNI World Finals time trials speed event. Check out our Web site http://www.teamvesco.com

WISE WORDS– “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

—Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

I’m nuts, but what do you think about this? I dislike the anti-smoking alligator ads professing that smoking is a profitable legal business, but it kills people (2 outta 3 ain’t bad). I dislike it because they’re on a campaign against freedom. The same ad could be applied to automobiles, eating sweets, any number of freedoms they could attack next.

NEED INSURANCE OR ROAD SERVICE–This is just a reminder that the Bros Club is the AAA for motorcyclists. If you break down they’ll take care of you, and triple A won’t if you’re on a motorcycle. They will also give you quote on any kind of insurance you may need, from health to antique bike.

LET’S MOVE–I’m sorry guys. I’ve got so much to report and do over the next couple weeks before I load my steamer trunk and sea bag and head to Houston to catch a ship bound for around the world, I’m running crazy. I’ll be online during the trip with a satellite phone and a laptop. While I’m gone, the crew will still be building bikes, covering the drags and running new stories. In fact, we have a line on two new books to be published in the Cantina. I hope to finish the first Chance Hogan novel and write another based on the sea voyage.