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DAVIE ALLAN HITS ROCKIN’ THE FAIR–Our time slot for this Sunday has been changed. We had been moved to 6:00 but I just found out that “Tierra” demands that great slot so look for us at 3:00. Sheesh!

Sunday, September 23rd at?3:00 pm (Art Fair starts at 1:00 P.M.)
Art Fair
Art District-Third and Traction Ave. (Near Al’s Bar)
Downtown LA
Friday, October 5th 11:00 pm
The Garage
4519 Santa Monica Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA

THE SPEECH THE PRESIDENT WISHES HE COULD GIVE–Good evening my fellow Americans.

First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people.

To the people responsible for today’s tragedy, I say this:Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath?

Do you not know who you are fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new targets for our aggression.

Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good ‘ole USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it’s too hard to shoot someone when you’re doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren’t trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn’t stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country.

Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There’s not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that’s going to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses.

God bless America!

–From Stan Sheppard

NURSERY RHYMES THAT DIDN’T MAKE IT– MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB,
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread

THE MARTYR–

“There is sobbing of the strong,
And a pall upon the land;
But the People in their weeping
Bare the iron hand;
Beware the People weeping
When they bare the iron hand.”

– Herman Melville, “The Martyr,” upon the death of Abraham Lincoln.

–from SR

RUN FOR NYC FIRE AND POLICE– I just got a call from Jeff at Rhinebeck Ford a few minutes ago. Jeff sponsors our anual Kids with Cancer and MDA bike runs every year and does a spectacular job. He’s getting together a new project to benefit the families of NYC police and firefighters lost in the line of duty during the disaster here in NY.

It’s CALLED the “PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN FUND”All the proceedes will go directly to the people in need.For a mere $10 tax deductable donation, you can show the world your true colors. He’s giving away with each $10 donation, a custom designed T-Shirt with the American Flag on the front with the wording: 9-11-01 GOD BLESS AMERICA, And on the back; PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN.These shirts are first quality Jersey brand, not some cheap import.To get your shirt and help support a noble cause contact Jeff at ford@ulster.net or send your donation to

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN FUND
c/o RHINEBECK FORD
2224 RT.9G
RHINEBECK, NY 12572

–Teddy Bear

The bike in the photo is a Softail custom I Caribbean Custom Cycles Built with a 180 rear andthe Heartland kit. That’s our everyday shop bike.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Like most of conversations in most places, all IS based in the terroristattack in the USA. Even if we tried, there was (and is) no way of not beinginformed about what’s going on. We forgot the sharks, the Californiapoliticians, the hurricanes, and everything else. Our lives revolve aroundthe rescue mission and inminent war.

Imagine for a second, those planes leaving their airports. An H.A. world meeting wasgoing to take place in California, so most chapters on the East Coast andEurope would be on those planes, suddenly a couple of arab looking dudestried to scare everyone with knives and box cutters, yeah right, they wouldhave gotten the living shit beaten out of them, one by one they would haveeaten those blades, while getting stomped by steel toe engineer boots. All the planes landing safely after the scare, andthe HA’s becoming heroes, being the toast of the town, and getting pardonsfor all their sins.

What about finding asurvivor in this coming days? or a bunch of them inside an underground minimart, just waiting for the rescuers, passing time while eating anddrinking? How about September 11th, never ever happening? I’m sure we have all thought about stuff like that, wishfull thinking, assome may say. Please, I have no intention of being disrespectful whilewriting this above, just a sample of what would have happened if ? I guessthis is just a different way of expresing gratitude for life, for ourliberties, for being able to get up tomorrow, kickstart our chopper andfeel the wind, for not having to worry about living with the Afghans, fornot growing up in places that are in constant war, or have the nerve tokill innocent people in the name of their gods.

No matter how shitty itmight get, we are way fuckin’better than most people. Our lives will go on.Their shit life will get worst, good or bad.We are able to go back and do all the stuff we always do, sure some thingswill live with us, some will be forgotten, but we are able to keep on, andwhy? Because we can, plain and simple.

The Desertores will have a ride the 29th of September, it will be anovernight in the southern town of Poncewith the Holiday Inn mostly blocked for the bikers, seems like there willbe a party and a half. Will get details of the ride in the following weeks.

HOG San Juan, had a pre rally registration meeting at a local bar, hundredsof bikes showed up. This is for the up coming Caribbean Rally in November,seems like there’s a lot of people expecting the ride, which is great. On asour note, seems like the HOG people should be more respectful. The bar islocated about six blocks from my house and we could hear the burnouts,engine revving, and “lookatmee” throttle antics, till early morning . Seemslike this is becoming the norm. It took us years to promote the “image” andrespect of police and citizens alike, and it’s being fucked up by somenewbies in loud billet barges…….

Speaking of newbies, what the fuck’s going on, now anyone that has a bikefor less than a year, bought a bunch of chrome shit and bolted a fewthemselves, think they are custom builders, or opening shops ? They mustbe tripping in their own shit ! And they want to pirate and screw the longtime shop owners ! Beware of the weasels, leeches and rats around yourarea. They will last as long as an aftershock in LA. Talent nor experiencemoney can buy.

The Motociclistas del Sur (motorcyclists of the south) will have theirannual ride-meet- party at the town of Coamo, Oct 5th. Our shop has beeninvited to bring a display of choppers and customs to the show. Will postsome photos of the event here in Bikernet.

So that’s it for this week, tomorrow, have a happy thought, hug the oneswho love you, and do what you always do, we are the lucky ones.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report

OUR RECOVERING NATION–As our nation recovers from Tuesday’s unprecedented assault on key symbolsof U.S. military and financial power, Vote.com invites all Americans toregister your support for our leaders in Washington – and to tell them whatYOU think America should do in response to the attacks.Log on to http://www.vote.com to tell government leaders:

-Whether Congress should declare war on terrorists and the countries thatharbor them

-Whether America should attack Afghanistan for protecting Osama bin Laden

-Whether the U.S. should end the ban on assassinating foreign leaders

When you vote, your opinion will be sent to Congress, President Bush andSecretary of State Colin Powell.

Please forward this message to friends and family so they can participate aswell.

Thank you.
http://www.vote.com

DEAR OSAMA BIN LADEN– Congratulations. You’ve done what our best diplomacy efforts have not been able to do. You’ve united the world. You’ve allowed the worldto put aside its differences and instead made every terrorist group, and anyone helping these groups, enemy number one.

You struck us, you have wounded our country, but all that did was strengthen our resolve for freedom. It united a country and a worldto stand up to anyone who would challenge that freedom. Instead ofbringing out our worst, it brought out our best. Thousands giving blood,helping with the recovery, and standing up to you.

You launched an act of war. A war not against a country, but againstany group that uses terrorism as a mechanism for policy, who attacksthousands of civilians, and who threatens democracy, freedom, and theopportunity for people to govern themselves. Be assured we will respond. We willbe patient, prudent, and relentless in our pursuit. We will not strikeout at citizens as you have done. We will target the persons who committhese acts of terrors.

You may think you won yesterday, but you are so sadly mistaken. Youcan strike a people, but the idea of democracy is bigger than New YorkCity and the Pentagon. It is bigger than a country or a President.Democracy is tougher than terrorism. If you want to see the best of democracythen watch the people of New York. Watch the people of Washington DC.Watch America. Watch the world come together as it never has before. Allfor one reason…to defeat you and every other terrorist who threatensthat freedom.

The only one who should be afraid, Mr. bin Laden, is you.

JON TOWLE IS MORE THAN ALL THE ART ON BIKERNET AND CUSTOM CARICATURES–For years we thought that Jon, the artistic type that he is, was just another devoted single father and a raging alcoholic since he spent entire nights at night clubs. Upon further investigation we discovered on special assignment, Jon playing lead guitar in a heavy metal band at a Long Beach, California lesbian bar. I spent several nights in the corner watching Jon twist the strings of his guitar to make a little extra money.

Towle’s talents don’t stop with computer art, pen and ink or lead guitar. Recently he was invited to play with a blues band, but in a different roll. He was challenged to take on the bass guitar position. Here’s his words:”Last weekend I was invited to sit in with a band consisting of someoutstanding players.I’ve played guitar since 1975 but on this day, I was playing bassguitar.

“Buzzy James, slide guitar god, is in the band “laidlaw” who’s cd isheavily played in the south. Mike Malone, a long time biker, is a heavy on the keys andvocals and has played with alot of big names. Two studio musiciansfilled out the rest. The great Joe Houston, legendary blues sax playerwas the the special guest. If you’ve never heard Mr. Houston on motownor jammin’ with the Stones or on his many albums, then brother, you’reliving on the fucking moon.””Anyway, it was a great thrill and after shooting the shit with Joe afterthe show, I think I got his okay. You see, Joe can be a little rough onwhite guys that play the blues, unless they can produce. the rest of theguys already passed. I think I might have. he said ‘you cool’ or ‘youfool’. I couldn’t tell, he speaks kinda low.

–jontowle-

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE TALL BLONDE–Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

Couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

Can’t work in a pharmacy because the bottles won’t fit into the typewriter.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said “2 to 4 years”.

Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

LIVING PROOF THAT HARDTAIL WAS A MAGAZINE–Yes, it’s true that “HardTail” was a printed magazine for over a year. Then an Angel touched Buck, the creator, on the shoulder and asked him to stop waisting trees. He was so moved by the size of her chest that brushed against his, he volunteered to do anything. Consequently this magazine is now available to be downloaded or delivered on a CD. Check it out.

THAT’S IT–I listened to the President tonight and was impressed with the country’s ability to form a cohesive plan for terrorist destruction without turning people unnecessarily against the U.S. It will only benefit the entire world to be rid of terrorism. It’s going to be rock and roll.

Ain’t life grand, and to be a freedom loving biker the best. Have a helluva weekend.–Bandit

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our website at http://www.aimncom.com

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWSCompiled and Edited byBILL BISH,NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS

AMERICA UNDER ATTACK

?Smoke and ash still billows from the rubble that was once the crown jewels of the New York City skyline, and fire still seers through the heart of America?s military command post, which burns with a fury nearly as hot as most Americans? tempers at the time of this writing.

Like everything else unrelated to the terrorist attacks on American icons, the twin towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, motorcycling news is diminished in importance and relevance as our collective attention is focused on the tragic circumstances surrounding such despicable and reprehensible acts of cowardice.

As Americans we are shocked to discover that our envelope of security has been breached. ?As Americans, we are horrified with the prospect that foreign hostilities can nestle upon our shores, though the perpetrators remain hidden and protected in faraway retreats. ?As a free and open society, Americans are rightfully angry and understandably frightened about the prospect of such attacks on our own soil. ?And our American Pride will not allow us to let terrorist bullies win. ??

But, as Americans, are we willing to alter our way of life and sacrifice our civil rights in exchange for governmental protections that hinder our freedom in order to regain some peace of mind?

By doing so, wouldn?t this allow terrorism to dictate our national policy?

As the ashes settle on a dismayed America, this will be the topic of ongoing debate in the press, within our legislatures and around the water fountains of society. ??????????

As American Bikers, we have always come down on the side of personal choice and responsibility in lieu of the blanket of security offered by our self appointed protectors. ?

In the famous words of one of our founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson; ”Those who would trade essential Liberty for temporary security, deserve neither Liberty or Security.”

As America lays the groundwork for recovery and restitution, we must strengthen our resolve and divert ourselves from the temptations of restructuring our system of democracy and redefining our liberties. ?If we do, we deserve neither.

God Bless America!–Bill Bish

AMERICAN SUPPORT FROM ACROSS THE BIG POND

?Following is a note sent to the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) from Neil Liversidge, National Chairman of the Motorcycle Action Group of the United Kingdom (MAG-UK), on September 11, 2001, regarding the terrorist attacks on the United States of America:

”It is right that our leaders condemn this act of war. ?It is not, however, enough that only they do so. ?The enemies of democracy must know that not only do the political leaders of the free world have the will to resist and defeat terrorism, but that the ordinary people possess that same resolve.

”The perpetrators of this infamous crime should know that they are not merely opposed by a political elite but by hundreds of millions of ordinary and right-thinking people throughout the world. ?At this time, ordinary people everywhere should communicate to the citizens of the United States their solidarity and support, as well as their condolences for the many deaths and tragedies suffered. ?I offer mine. ?

”At the Federation of European Motorcyclists (FEMA) Rally in Belgium, the official MAG-UK presence will fly the star spangled banner of the United States alongside the Union Flag of the United Kingdom. ?By this we will demonstrate our support and solidarity for our American allies who are, like us, citizens of the free world.”

When the chips are down it is good to know who your friends are.

LOUISIANA APPROVES VETERAN?S MOTORCYCLE LICENSE PLATES

?Due to an oversight, R.S. 47:463.18(A) and (C)1 of the Louisiana Vehicle Code did not list motorcycles as a vehicle that was eligible to carry Veteran plates as cars and trucks can. ?At least that was the way things were before a retired Navy veteran motorcyclist tried to get plates for his bike.

”I proudly and honorably served my country for 24 years as a member of the United States Navy,” said Steve Howardell, a Life Member of ABATE of Louisiana. ?”I retired in 1999 having worked my way from enlisted into the officer ranks. ?After my retirement, I was rated by the VA at 50% disabled. ?But yet, with all this service and dedication to my country, I was not allowed to display my service and pride on my motorcycle as I can my truck plates. ?I decided that it was time for a change.”

Howardell contacted his local legislators, Representative Mike Strain of House District 74 and Senator Jerry Thomas of Senate District 12, and requested assistance to get this regulation amended. ?Both were more then willing to help and out of just a couple of e-mails was born House Bill-186 and Senate Bill-110. ?

Now came the waiting game.

”I became a true watcher of the political process as the bills moved from committee, to full House and Senate, and on to the other side of the fence. ?These two bills breezed though all committee and floor votes with one lone dissenter,” explained Howardell.

Finally, on 25 June 2001, both bills were signed into law by Governor Foster and officially became Act 658 (HB-186) and Act 676 (SB-110). ?The only remaining hoop to jump through is for 100 people to sign up for these plates as that is a requirement to get them minted. ?So, get the word out to your riding buddies in the Bayou State and let them know about the new Veterans? license plates.

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH

?Paris Mayor Bertrand Delanoe?s newly introduced anti-car campaign has claimed its first casualty ? his deputy was knocked off his bicycle by a motorcyclist illegally traveling down a new lane reserved for buses, bicycles and taxis.

”The funniest thing is that I had just left a meeting at police headquarters where I said we absolutely had to take measures against motorcycles that use these lanes,” said Yves Contassot, head of the small Greens party in the city?s coalition government after having routine hospital checks for some minor bruises.

The bus lanes, which the city has been marking off with new concrete dividers during the summer, are the latest anti-car step that Socialist Delanoe has taken since being elected last spring on a platform of creating more ”civilized space” in the capital, reported Reuters News Service.

QUOTABLE QUOTE

”We have awakened a sleeping giant and have instilled in him a terrible resolve.”Admiral Yamamoto, after he was overruled by the Emperor of Japan, on the bombing of Pearl Harbor

NOTE: If you would like to subscribe to the AIM/NCOM Motorcycle E-NewsService, simply send a SUBSCRIBE message to aimncom@aimncom.com.

Postcard for the times.

SAN DIEGO, Sept. 4 – A judge dismissed nearly 300 tickets Tuesday issuedto drivers caught by cameras that record motorists running red lights,handing ammunition to opponents of such systems.

JUDGE RONALD STYN of San Diego County Superior Court said the camera evidence was inadmissible because a private corporation’s role in the operation of the system and its per-ticket collection of fees violatedstate law.

The ruling has no direct legal implications for similar red-light traffic systems in roughly 50 other cities in the nation. But lawyers for the motorists said other judges likely will take the ruling under consideration.

“It’s very limited, but his ruling will receive a lot of deference,” said Arthur Tait, one of three lawyers who represented the 292 driverswhose tickets were quashed Tuesday. “It’s the first time that a traffic courthas looked this closely at what is going on.”

The case originated when motorists banded together to fight the camera-issued tickets. The city is expected to appeal, but it has suspended use of the cameras pending a review prompted by complaints about the system’s accuracy.

The San Diego police department continues to support use of the cameras, which officials said have reduced red-light running an average of 45percent at the 19 intersections where they are installed. “I continue to believe that red light photo enforcement increases safety at intersections,” Police Chief David Bejarano said.

San Diego’s system, which snaps a photo of a red-light runner and mails a $271 citation to the registered owner of the vehicle, is thetarget of two civil lawsuits that could end the program and refund money to84,000 people who have received the tickets since 1998.

Affiliated Computer Services Inc. of Dallas has agreed to alter its system to comply with Styn’s ruling Tuesday, spokesman Mark Maddox said. Maddox said alternatives could include charging a flat rate to the city for installing the cameras.

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UNDER ATTACK!–Buds, our country is under attack! What do you all think about this?The twenty-something says “oh, no, I don’t want to go to war, gee, that’s notright.”My mother, at seventy five says ” Rescue and Help first. then find thebastards and bomb them hard. Kill them. We can not tolerate this. It remindsme of Pearl Harbor all over again.” Her voice rose two octaves and she is aliberal conservative.A stunning, sorrowful, and dark day for all of us. We must not allow thescumbags to think they are beating us up. I am stunned and have watched sevendifferent channels all day. Prez is right.”Hunt them down and punish…”I love my country and all of you. Keep up the good work.

–Catts

FLASH INSURANCE REPORT–It has been confirmed that, among others, the following carriers haveoffices in the World TradeCenter buildings: SCOR Reinsurance Co., Partner Reinsurance of U.S.,General Security and Indemnity, Kemper Insurance Companies, CNA Insurance.American International Group headquarters is in the financial district.There are other carriers involved.

Shock waves will echo throughout the global insurance industry as lossesfrom the incident will exceed $25 million and be declared an officialcatastrophe. A CAT number will be assigned shortly.

Some insurance ramifications of the disaster include:

? Property and liability losses sustained by the insurers and reinsurers ofthe airlines;
? Property and liability losses sustained by the insurers and reinsures ofthe World Trade Center and other surrounding buildings;
? Workers’ compensation coverage for injuries sustained by workers in theWorld Trade Center, the Pentagon and other surrounding buildings;
? Auto insurance losses for cars damaged by falling debris and thosedestroyed in underground parking garages;
? Business interruption losses sustained by the insurers of the businessesin the World Trade Center and surrounding buildings;
? Property losses for computers, furniture and other contents sustained bythe insurers of the businesses in the World Trade Center and surroundingbuildings;
? Contingent business interruption insurance for the general “interruptionof commerce” these acts caused other businesses;
? Potential liability exposure for the insurers of the World Trade Centerand surrounding buildings for not promptly evacuating all employees;

The financial impact upon specific carrier’s health cannot yet be accessed.Many of us in the insurance and financial services industry will undoubtedlyknow directly someone involved in this terrorist act. There are not words toexpress the griefthat will be felt, as their names become known. Please pray that our leadersand that eachof us act with a cool head and a focused response.

–DJ Coates
The Small Business Insurance Centeran affiliate of Supple-Merrill & Driscoll, Inc.
P.O. Box 2408 Pasadena, CA 91102-2408
mailto:tsbic@tsbic.com
http://www.tsbic.com
Phone: 800-378-5554 Fax: 626-844-2126
Lic# 0529163

Bikernet Web Master on her way to work.

BIKERNET WEB MASTER JOINS THE FIGHT– At the moment,I’m in shock. Tomorrow, I’ll be seriously pissed.

If I had any idea who we were fighting, I’d be the first in line to sign upto fight. Of course, the cowards who did this probably realize there aremillions of us who feel the same way, so they hide in the shadows like thevermin they are.

-Digital Doll

p.s. – Stay the fuck off me Bandit…….

BIKERNET SPECIAL INVESTIGATION– After months of research we finally got actually photographs of a very special motorcycle. This is the first chopped motorcycle the Art Director of HORSE magazine built in 1970. Here’s a statement from Geno, the creator,”Here’s those pics of my XLH Sporty that I chopped in 1970-it was my first H-D. The fuzzy Polaroid pic of me is right after I bought it and I immediately put 10″ tubes on it and stripped the new lil’ Sporty tank all psycho delik with striping tape.

“The other shots are of the bike after I spent 4 months “choppin it” –I painted it, made the struts, mounted the fender, raked the frame and molded it –all with money I made after school, painting friends and the local 1%’r bikes. Ahh the good ole days.Live to chop!”–Geno

BIKERNET INSECT INVESTIGATION–Stopped at a friends shop the other day and found him stalking around witha fly swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered, “Yeah,3 males and 2 females.”

Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference.He answered, “3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone.”

BIKERNET LITERARY CRITIQUE–Sorry, it’s no exactly a critique, ’cause we don’t have a copy yet. In fact, the dam thing ain’t done. Buck Lovell the editor and publisher of Hardtail CD magazine is in the process of finishing a book of old cop shots. He’s been saving and hunting for shots for 20 years. If you can help, drop us a line. Hang on, the book is rumored to be published by another biker Tim Remus. Should be out shortly.

GUN BATTLE IN CALIFORNIA–Following is a report on the final week of the legislative session. I have a curious thought. We are allowed tools to fix things in our homes in case of emergencies. We are allowed fire extinguishers to put out fires, but they are trying to take guns away. Then we will have no tools if we are attacked. Seems I could sue my legislator if I was attacked and unable to protect my family because of his laws. I believe in education and training and as a young man I could not have a gun until I took the NRA course. Here’s the news–Bandit.

This is final week of the legislative session and gun grabbing politicianswilldo everything they can to get their anti-Constitutional laws passed. Bothofthe licensing bills – AB35 and SB52 – could be heard as early as Monday.Thesebills still place a huge burden on local law enforcement, and the instructorand testing requirements could put smaller gun stores literally out ofbusiness.

SB626 has just been amended to allow City Attorneys to have access to thestatefirearms registry to help them in civil suits against manufacturers,retailers,and potentially owners of firearms. This bill could be heard at any time.

SB 510 – The magazine and safety disconnect bill – mandates unreliable,non-existent technology that could cause firearms manufacturers to abandontheCalifornia marketplace. This bill could be heard at any time.

Contact your Senator, your Assembly Member and Governor Davis today. Writealetter (not an e-mail) and send it out right away.

Contact Information:http://www.liberty-belles.org/contactreps/contactingreps.htm

Bill Information: http://www.liberty-belles.org/legislation/legislation.htm

Senator Ray Haynes’ “Watchlist”http://www.liberty-belles.org/legislation/watchlist.html

–In Freedom,Jennifer and Joe
Liberty Belleshttp://www.liberty-belles.org

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–* Note. These are sad days, it’s almost movie like, the impression of whathas happened, the thousands of souls that have lost their lives, innocentpeople caught amid greed, religion, politics and whatever else goes onthis world. What a glorious shame. This is a vivid image on the fragilityof our world, and a reason to believe in someone above, my deepest sorrowgoes to the people who frequent this forum, and more important to thosewhom might have lost family or friends by this crime. The whole worldmourns with you–Jose.

With all this recent hoopla about the new V-rod and TC 88’s and allthis super modern stuff, high revving, fake motorcycles, closer to the japcounterparts than the Harleys of past, all this futuristic features andavant garde designs, seems that the Company is changing, changing for theworst. Harleys appeal is based on it’s motorcycles, those Knucks, Pans andShovels, the style, the unrefined metals, pure iron. These bikes were notmade to appeal the crowds, these bikes will never be replaced, like hot rodsand muscle cars. Have you seen the new Impala ? The Nova? if you have youmight notice it’s not even a close copy of what those cars used to be.Technology has retarded the appeal of these vehicles. Give me a ’64 Impalaany day, keep the new one for car rentals. There’s nothing like an oldPanhead, (in any of its forms) even the Evo’s with their nostalgic lookswere acceptable. H-D’s mystique was born on those bikes, and now, shazam,the new V-max, oops, rod shatters the image. When I wanted an H-D for thefirst time, I wanted that bulky chunk of iron, the kickstart, the leakingengine, the unique rumble, in short the many things that made a Harley,Harley.

Now are the times of seeing gazillions of Softails, cookie cutter bikeswith tons of tasteless aftermarket parts, but there is something aboutchoppers, old Fl’s and any pre Evo bike that commands attention, thatreally makes them stand out in a sea of chrome barges, and let me tell ya,those are real bikes.

Same as you might drool over the newest of Ferraris,but a ’57 Corvette will make you mortage the house and sell the dogs. Maybeit’s because it’s part of what some people call Americana, of route 66 anddrive in cinemas, things that we like to have, mechanical wonders that haveendured the ages and senses of style, with a character that outlives anyfad, nationality or social status, most of this machines were the statusthen, as they are today. Maybe the company is going the wrong way. To someof us the future is not the answer, that’s the way I see it.

The second WCC chopper is on it’s way, we will post the steps here as werush to have it ready for Biketoberfestlots of long nights (and days ) will follow, will keep everyone posted.

We have heard that Manso’s motorcycle (one of our local shops) is moving toa bigger location a few buildings down from it’s present space, we want tocongratulate everyone there on the new shop.

Also a customer showed up at our shop to tell us that they are getting ready to open a newbar in Daytona. It will be called the Four Aces. On your next trip to theBeach check this place out, tell them the guys from Caribbean Custom Cyclessent you.

Soon we will feature our clothing line Chopper Freak ™ here in Bikernet,shirts and stuff for chopper lovers, more on this as soon as we set thedamn web site.

That’s it for now, back to the T.V. and the news, most of the people herein PR have been glued to CNN and all the latest happenings. Will see yanext week.

–Jose Caribbean Bikernet Report.

TIME TO RIDE–Next week we’ll have a report on the Dallas Shovelhead project. We’ll be rocking and rolling and trying to muster a few more sponsors while the government investigates the War crimes. Then we’ll do anything in our power to see that business is taken care of.

There’s been concern that the economy will suffer, especially the airlines. We’re the United States. We relish situations that challenge our resourcefulness. In our tribute to the ones we’ve lost and to those who have suffered, we will benefit, prosper and grow. Proud to be an American, let’s ride–Bandit.–

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TOTS REPORT FROM A RIDIN’ MARINE– I was shocked and outraged when I read the “Toys for Tots” e-mail beingforwarded around the biker community. Shocked that bikers would be criticalof the Marine Reservist donating countless hours of their time to collectand distribute toys for underprivileged children in their local community,and outraged at the out right lie that these toys were shipped over seas!

For the record, my name is James Watson. I have been the proud owner andenthusiastic rider of Harley-Davidson motorcycles since 1989. And, I evenknow, have ridden with, and partied with quite a few of the people I sawthis e-mail being passed around by.

I am also currently the Commanding Officer of the Marine Corps ReserveUnit in Tampa, Florida, and I can personally testify that none of the toyscollected by the Marine Corps Reserves leaves the local area in which it wascollected. In fact, in Tampa alone last Christmas we collected over 250,000toys, sorted them into stacks categorized by age and gender, andredistributed them to needy families. I’m sure it’s hard for any of you toeven begin to imagine the number of people and hours it took to accomplishthis feat. Especially since I don’t recall any of you busting your ass onyour day off helping us!

Before you criticize others who are doing a good deed perhaps each of youneed to look in the mirror and ask yourself, “when (if ever) was the lasttime I did an unselfish good deed for others in my community.” And no,buying one toy and going for a ride on your bike with your buddies does notqualify!

As for the fight that almost occurred over the toys that you claim to havepurchased to donate to a charity and then attempted to take back. I can onlysay that I am truly disappointed in the Marines for not kicking your ass.Although I must admit it must have taken quite a bit of restraint, and thatis impressive in itself. Personally, if I were leaving the Toys for Totsevent to go to the cancer center I would not be so damn cheap as to try tosteal a few of the toys donated in an effort to avoid spending a couple ofdollars on more toys for the children at the cancer center. Now to address the final issue of the name “Toys for Tots”. I am notfamiliar with the law suite the e-mail addressed; however, I do know thatthe Marine Corps Reserves has created a non-profit organization titled Toysfor Tots for legal/tax reasons to run the program nation wide, and has usedthe name for well over a decade. As for it being generic, you sir areincorrect. All the other biker toy runs, collection points, and events thatuse the name “Toys for Tots” donate the toys they collect from the event orcollection point to the Marine Corps Reserves program. The reason it appearsto have become so generic is because we have done such a fantastic jobcreating so many of these events throughout the county. This would accountfor the phenomenal number of toys we have collected and distributed to theunderprivileged. I have no idea how many toys we collected nation wide lastyear; however, I believe we have well over 300 reserve training centers inthe United States, and if my center collected over 250,000 toys alone…well you do the math!

Oh by the way, how many toys did you say you collected at your event? I donot recall reading a number.

— Yours in service to our great nation,
Major J.L. Watson, USMCR

If you want one, I believe there’s a waiting list !!!–from Down Under Ray

BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE– Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results. The lab tech says to him, “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife’s. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible!”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other > for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your wife.”

“That’s terrible! Can we do the test over?”

“Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do now?”

“The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her.”

BIKETOBERFEST REPORT–If you are going to Biketoberfest in October here’s a little gig for ya to goto.

10th Master’s Custom Bike Show, Friday, October 19, 2001 from 11:00 to 4:00.$500 in prize money. This is one that (Hamster) Tom Anderson puts on. Livemusic, food & drinks, tiki bars, inside & outside pools. It’s helpd at theGrand Seas Resort at 2424 N Atlantic Avenue. The show is on the pool deck. ?This is sponsored by 2 Wheelers (Arlin Fatland), Crystal Motorsports, XtremeCustom Cycles, and ?Hot Leathers.

Call 253-795-5895 for further information.

CORRECTION TO BIKERNET ATTACK STATEMENT–I’m angry, sad and fearful of what the days ahead will bring. Like everyone, I am still in a state of shock and disbelief. Thank you for posting my comments, I hope they were taken in the spirit in which they were written.?

Not to nit-pick on this terrible day, but both Mailman and my son said the reference to the sleeping lion was supposed to be the following quote (in red):

On December 7, 1941, Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto?s plan for attacking Pearl Harbor was put into effect, despite his objections. After the attack, while the other Japanese commanders were celebrating their victory, Yamamoto told a fellow officer, “I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant, and fill it with a desire for vengeance.”

-Helen

SALOON NEWS–A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s up with the jar?”

“Well, you pay ten dollars and, if you pass three tests, you get all the money.”

The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up.”What are the three tests?”

“Pay first,” says the bartender. “Those are the rules.

“So the man give him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

“OK,” the bartender says, “here’s what you need to do. First you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila… the whole thing, all at once… and you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there’s a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You’ve gotta make things right for her.”

The man is stunned. “I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I’m not an idiot! I won’t do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things …”

“Your call,” says the bartender, “but your money stays where it is.

“As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?” He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon, all the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then…. silence. Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large, bloody scratches all over his body.”Now,” he says, “where’s the old woman with the sore tooth?”

–From Geno, HORSE magazine

MOTORCYCLE RIDERS FOUNDATION OFFICE CLOSED–Effective immediately, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation office inWashington, DC will be closed until further notice. In light of thenational emergency that is taking place, and in keeping with thegovernment’s request to keep the phone lines clear, please do not try tocontact the office. Preparations for the upcoming Meeting of the Minds willcontinue, but the DC office will be closed for the time being.Beverly Waters and Tom Wyld are fine. They both made it into the officethis morning, but have since left and, for safety’s sake, will not returnfor an indefinite period of time.Please join us in keeping the family members and friends of the thousandsof victims of this senseless tragedy in your thoughts and prayers.Teri Hobbs, Assistant Director of Communications, MRF

MOTORCYCLE CONFISCATED–well it happened during the Laughlin river run thisyear. It was parked and locked in a casino parkinglot. The metro police from Nevada ran a check throughNCI and it came up stolen according to them. This bikehas been stopped before and the numbers ran and cameup clean. They say the #’s on the frame don’t match. Alawyer was retained and said to go to Vegas and pickit up well the cop that took the bike came roaring uphad him up against the car and accused him of knowingthe bike is stolen.

He said, “The nexttime you see this bike I’ll be riding it,” then added”I was just kidding” (covering his ass). It so happensa lawyer was needed for the motorcycle because that’swho the case is against not the owner. Is that unrealor what? Anyway I’ll have to get back to you with theother details and what’s happening now if anything.

–Rogue

CHROME SPECIALITIES OFFERS LEGEND AIR SHOCKS– Legend Air Ride Suspension System For Softail ModelsAdjustable air ride suspension allows complete control of your bike’s rideheight and load carrying capacity. Now you can have a smooth ride withoutbottoming whether riding solo, or two-up and loaded for touring. Up to 700lbs load capacity with NO bottoming!

The Legends system also allows yourrear fender to have a tire hugging profile when parked or cruising down theboulevard, or raised for suspension travel on rough roads and highways.Legend air suspensions are complete kits and include compressor, gauge withhandlebar mount, switches, installation hardware and instructions. Availablein chrome or black anodized finish. Optional rocker box gauge mount soldseparately.

? Components machined from 6061-T6 aluminum.
? Direct bolt-on replacement for stock style Softail shocks.
? Lowers bike 3″ at the touch of a button.
? Ride height is adjustable on the go.
? Small on-board compressor mounts behind transmission using existing mounting holes.
? Dual Kevlar based air springs.
? Installs in 1 to 1-1/2 hours – no special tools required.
? Fits all Softail models 1989-1999. Kits can be vendor modified to fit 1984-1986 Softail (unit must be sent to vendor after purchase, information included in kits).
? Hardware and Instructions includedNot for 2000-up Softail models.

220500 Black finish Retail $1,595.00

220505 Chrome finish Retail $1,795.00Accessories

220510 Chrome rocker box gauge mountretail $109.99

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–TERRORISTS ATTACK–BIG MISTAKE ON THEIR PART

Continued From Page 1

ATTACK REFLECTIONS FROM A BROTHER– Yesterday was one of the most?devastating days?of my life I can ever remember. We kept working while listening to the reports on the radio. Every now and then we would go up front and watch this tragedy on TV.

I kept working, trying to stay as busy as I could. Fuck, I kept dropping wrenches, forgetting what I was doing, couldn’t find my tools, not putting all the hardware back on right. It was a cluster fuck.

You’ve seen my work area. I know?under the normal “manic mechanic” times?where my shit is. I just couldn’t get my shit in one sock yesterday. I stayed up?last night, couldn’t sleep. I just continued?watching?the TV?in disbelief. This took me back to the JFK, RFK and King assassinations on TV. This is much worse to me now than then.

Many of us have lost brothers, family and friends. We have all grieved over these many things one encounters in a life time. This loss of innocent life and total ?devastation is almost too much?for one to?bare.

Today was a mixed bag of ups and downs. One minute you are talking to buddy and we’re all pissed. Gonna go out and kick butt. The next you are grieving for all those families who are living a terrible nightmare. Then you get patriotic while looking at the service people at the Pentagon?talking with the president. My way of thinking in dealing with these pieces of shit who did this to our country is: We need to look?to the Israeli’s way of dealing with terrorism. They do not mess around when they find out who is at fault when they are attacked by terrorists. In other words, when in doubt, knock them out! This says it all.

Whatever we can all do to help in this American crisis we need to do smartly. I know we will all get through this with each other’s help. It seems to me the changes are happening right now that are needed for the country’s security. It will never be the same as before. The days of our youth are gone. I?now wonder what else is going to happen in my lifetime. We will survive. We are strong. We are Americans. We?will march on. My thoughts continue to go out to the families for their loss.?Also let’s not forget?the rescue workers and all who are working?the long hours in this overwhelming battle.

Bandit, I hope all is well there. I wonder how LA is doing through all this. Keep me posted. I’ve said enough.

— Paul Davis, Charlotte H-D

REFLECTIONS FROM A DRAG RACING CHAMPION–Steve impressed me with the following. –Helen”After coming off of a personal best and record-breaking weekend of racing inWoodburn, Ore., I had intended on coming to the office Tuesday morning to leteveryone know of the good news. After waking up to the tragedies that weregoing on around us on Tuesday morning, it made me realize what was reallyimportant and race results wasn’t one of those things. Our deepest sympathygoes out to the friends and families affected by these tragedies.Our Web site, www.huffmotorsports.com, has been updated with the results oflast weekend for you to review at your convenience.

–Steve Huff

FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES– The new preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject.

After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he harangued for another 20 minutes and repeated his question. This received a response of 80 percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for 15 minutes more and repeated his question.

With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one old gentleman in the rear.

“Mr. McNeese, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?’

“I don’t have any.”

“Mr. McNeese, that is very unusual. How old are you?”

“Eighty-six.”

“Mr. McNeese, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to 86 and not have an enemy in the world.”

The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around.

“It’s easy. I just outlived the sons of bitches.”

–From Chris T.

Click For Larger .pdf View

STRANGEST REPORT OF THE WEEK–We have an odd report on our next project bike from a brother who hasn’t seen it or touched it. In fact, the bike is located in Los Angeles while this report came from the East Coast. Evidently this brother knows his shit.

“Was checking out the FXR you are working on. The swingarm should be 9 1/2 inches wide (pivot tube). The Buell swingarm block with swingarm installed, ready to go into a Buell frame, is also 9 1/2 inches wide! If?you had the Softail tranny all you would have to do is modify a Titan or Daytec “Cradle”. Just the back half where the conventional FXR swingarm pivots. Then you could run a 17 inch/180 rear tire.

You were saying you wanted an FXR (rubbermount) hot rod. Short and compact.?A stock FXR frame looks a lot like a Sportster frame from the side. With the FXR frame you could make a “Big Twin” rubber mounted XLCR style bike. You could use the body work?for an XLCR repo from Airtec. My friend from Illinois that I was telling you about did this with a “08” Shovelhead in the early ’80s. The frame on his bike was?made from 4130 Chrome Moly. It looked?just like an FXR style frame but with the?Shovel?bolted?mounted conventionally. The XLCR body work looked really good. Just?a?thought. It would really?make for a unique Hot Rod Custom.

–Bikernet East Coast Correspondent, P.D.

JUST FRED–A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it. “Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I’m just Fred.”

The officer let him go without even a warning.

–From Robert T.

BANDIT’S HAS HIS CARDS READ–Mr. Bandit, Yah Ta Hey! Ya might want’a listen ta your Ol’Indian/Harleyspiritual guide? I was talkin’ta him tha other nite at tha Roadhouse onthe farside of Big Sur. I couldn’t believe it, but I have ta tell yawhat he saw in his Mojo. It was on the cliff cave; mixed in thespider-webs. Your next ride! A V-Rod, whipped ta tha MAX, for ’round thaWorld Tour 2002 & back ta tha Harley 100. Sometimes we just have ta gowith what’s in our nature, or our spirit.

–Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

POLICE DISREGARD THE LAW–There is a simple, common-sense way for police to handle a situation in which they find somebody growing marijuana who claims to be a patient authorized – as patients with a doctor’s recommendation have been since November 1996 under California law – to possess, use and cultivate cannabis. They can take photographs, take copies of documentation and perhaps a few samples and tell the person something like: We’re going to check this out very carefully, and if you turn out to be a phony we’ll be back to arrest you.

That’s not the way the Santa Ana, Calif., police handled Marvin Chavez, founder of the Orange County Patient Doctor Nurse Support Group, Thursday night when they visited his house in Santa Ana. Mr. Chavez, who suffers from the degenerative spinal disorder ankylosing spondylitis, showed them the letter from his doctor and support group material. All the plants he was growing were identified with signs as being medical marijuana grown legally under Section 11362.5 of the California Health and Safety Code.

The police, according to Mr. Chavez, commented on the signs. They tore out all the plants, ransacked his house and his garage, took his computer, video camera and numerous tapes, disks and records.

Mr. Chavez was not arrested or charged with a crime. The police told him they needed the plants as evidence so the district attorney can decide whether to file charges.

That was completely unnecessary, unprofessional and should be viewed by any decent citizen as unconscionable. Section 11362.5 has been the law in California since November 1996, when the people approved Prop. 215, the Compassionate Use Act. It states: “Section 11357, relating to the possession of marijuana, and Section 11358, relating to the cultivation of marijuana, shall not apply to a patient, or to a patient’s primary caregiver, who possesses or cultivates marijuana for the personal medical purposes for the patient upon the written or oral recommendation or approval of a physician.”

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP REPORT– A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there wasno heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary..Mary…”

“Is that you Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh Fred, you surely must be in Heaven.”

“Not exactly……I’m a rabbit in Kansas

–From Kris B.

DAVIE ALLAN REVIEW– Got my Davie Allan CDs today. There are?some Rigid, jockey shift-gear jammin, diamond plate tire burnin tunes on them CDs let me tell you. Boy howdy?that guy can play! Makes you what to go out?bend some metal, cut,?weld and put something together and get it on down the road.??Sure would like to see him live.

–P.D.

DIXIE RIDER REPORT– This weekend is choked full of events to fill up your leisure time. You’ll find Dixie Rider at many of them.?First is the Trail of Tears ride from Chattanooga Tennessee to Waterloo Alabama. This ride commemorates the “death march” that we forced the Native American, (mostly Cherokee) tribes to endure n a relocation program. Dixie Rider will be at the “official” kick off party at the brand new Thunder Creek Dealership located on Lee Highway. If you need directions call TCHD at 423-892-4888.?

Also the Steel Wheels Expo is being held in Richmond Virginia. This benefits the child of a biker who was lost earlier this year. 804-741-8677 for info Dixie Rider will also be there.

Then there is Bainbridge Bike Fest in Bainbridge Georgia. Held at an abandoned airstrip, this is a party that really rocks! Free primitive camping, first come first serve. for ticket info call 912-246-0505 Look for Dixie Rider at this event. (probably riding around in a golf cart if I know Hoss!)

And then there is the Keys Poker Run. We won’t be set up at any location, we’ve just got a correspondent riding around taking pics and doing a story. Smile for the birdie.

I hope you enjoy yourself and for goodness sakes be careful, o.k.. Usually my e mail is full of humor and brevity, however, with the recent wave of attacks aimed at our fellow citizens, humor seems inappropriate. I hope each of you will take a moment to say a silent prayer for the victims and their families. In addition, if you are able to visit your local Red Cross Blood Bank in the next few days, please do….Lets start a blood drive and tell them you’re donating this as a part of a motorcycle blood drive….Bikers always turn out when we’re needed, and they will need blood. Be safe and take the road less traveled by.

Scott Cochran
Editor, Dixie Rider Motorcycle News

PRO-PHANTOM MIRRORS–Recently introduced by PRO-ONE the new PHANTOM SERIES mirrors provide custom builders and bolt-on enthusiasts with four unique styling choices. Each one-piece unit is machined from solid billet aluminum and finished in PRO-ONE’s legendary show chrome. Available for H-D and Metric Cruiser machines, the PRO-PHANTOM mirrors are supplied with all installation hardware and retail for $69.95.

See your local PRO-ONE dealer or call 800-884-4173. On the web at www.pro-one.com

Continued On Page 3

I don’t have a lot to say that so many other Americans haven’t expressed innumerable times already. I’ve been concerned about a loss of liberty, but I know that we will have to give during war times. We’ll get a renewed liberty returned after the conflict. I truly believe that this act will mark the end of terrorism in the world. Terrorists will no longer exist unless they can set up headquarters on the moon.

Much of what will follow will be associated with the attack, but we’ve attempted to throw in some news, and break up the sorrow with a joke or two.

I want to thank all the cops, firemen, EMTs and rescue workers who are risking their lives to help. Let’s get to the news.

HOW WE ALL CAN HELP–A Tragedy has struck America. As we mourn the deaths of thousands of victims, we need to pray and keep in our hearts the 266 plane passengers, 800-plus Pentagon employees, and the uncounted victims in New York.

We ask that if there is anything that you can do, please help! Visit http://helping.org/promos/cs_wtc.adp.

The United Way of New York and the New York Community Trust have established a fund to help the victims of the attacks and their families. The September Eleventh Fund will provide immediate support to established emergency assistance agencies. Anyone wishing to contribute may send their donations in care of United Way, 2 Park Ave., New York, N.Y., 10016; or call (212) 251-4035.Donations are also being accepted on United Way of New York City’s Web site: http://www.uwnyc.org.

American Red Cross, cash donations:(800) HELP-NOW

Salvation Army, cash donations:(800) SAL-ARMY

All trained medical personnel willing to go into Manhattan to assist victims and emergency workers may call (516) 656-9254 or (516) 656-9252. The City of Glen Cove, N.Y., is coordinated transportation of medical personnel via ferry to Manhattan.

The American Red Cross is in need of blood to replenish the nation’s supply. Call (800) GIVE-LIFE to schedule an appointment near where you live.

Friends and family who wish to check on passengers and flights may call:American Airlines, (800) 245-0999United Airlines, (800) 932-8555

FBI tip Web sitehttp://www.ifccfbi.gov

Report Attacks FBI Hotline(866) 483-5137

ATTACK PRAYER–For the victims of the attack.For the friends and families of the victims.For all the lives lost.For all those helping to rescue, save and treat the trapped and injured.For all of us who sit and watch the attacks on the television and listentoit on the news.

We pray for understanding as to how and why this happened. For thestrength to deal with the loss. For the courage to eventually pick up thepieces and move on with life. For the ability to one day forgive those responsible for this great loss. May God fill our hearts with love. Helptake away the sorrow. Help heal the wounds.

May the laughter of thechildren help us to remember that there is still good in this world. And,may the warmth of the sun, shine down upon us and help us find our smilesagain.

–From Eddie Dyer

MOTORCYCLE SEIZURE LAW–A billto amend section 4549.63 of the Revised Code to modify the guidelinesgoverning seizure of a motor vehicle by a law enforcement officer when theidentity of the vehicle cannot be determined and to establish limited civilliability if the law enforcement officer or agency fails to comply withspecified guidelines.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE STATE OF OHIO:Section 1. That section 4549.63 of the Revised Code be amended to read asfollows:Sec. 4549.63. (A) A law enforcement officer may seize and take possessionof a vehicle or vehicle part if the officer has probable cause to believethat any vehicle identification number or derivative thereof on the vehicleor part has been removed, defaced, covered, altered, or destroyed in such amanner that the identity of the vehicle or part cannot be determined byvisual examination of the number at the site where the manufacturer placedthe number. The seizure shall be pursuant to a warrant, unless thecircumstances are within one of the exceptions to the warrant requirementthat have been established by the supreme court of the United States or ofthe supreme court of this state.

(B) A (1) Except as provided in divisions (B)(2) and (3) of this section, avehicle or vehicle part seized under division (A) of this section shall beheld in custody pursuant to section 2933.41 of the Revised Code or anyapplicable municipal ordinance.

(2) A law enforcement officer or agency that seizes a vehicle or vehiclepart under division (A) of this section shall transport, secure, and storethe vehicle or vehicle part in a manner that protects the vehicle or vehiclepart from damage.

(3) Within thirty days of seizing a vehicle or vehicle part, the lawenforcement officer or agency shall do all of the following:(a) Restore or locate the vehicle identification number if possible anddetermine whether the vehicle or vehicle part is stolen;(b) Make a reasonable effort to identify and locate the lawful owner of thevehicle or vehicle part;(c) Notify the lawful owner of when and where the vehicle or vehicle partmay be reclaimed;(d) Return the vehicle or vehicle part to the lawful owner in accordancewith division (D) of this section.

(C)(1) A law enforcement officer who acts in good faith in the belief thatthe seizure of a vehicle or vehicle part is justified under division (A) ofthis section is immune from any civil or criminal liability for suchseizure.

(2) Notwithstanding division (C)(1) of this section, the state or anypolitical subdivision associated with a law enforcement officer or agencythat seizes a vehicle or vehicle part under this section is liable to itslawful owner in a civil action for any damage to or loss of the use of thevehicle or vehicle part that is approximately caused by either of thefollowing:(a) The failure of the law enforcement officer or agency to transport,secure, and store the vehicle or vehicle part in a manner that protects thevehicle or vehicle part from damage;(b) The failure of the law enforcement officer or agency to comply withdivision (B)(3) of this section.(D) The lawful owner of a vehicle or vehicle part seized under this sectionthat is not needed as evidence and is not subject to forfeiture underdivision (D)(2) of section 4549.62 of the Revised Code may reclaim theproperty by submitting satisfactory proof of ownership to the lawenforcement agency or court holding the property.Section 2. That existing section 4549.63 of the Revised Code is herebyrepealed.

–From Hairy George

HORSE MAGAZINE RELEASES COVER GIRL–Undercover Bikernet correspondents make an effort every issue to capture, question and fondle the latest HORSE cover girl.

This is the December issue, which goes on sale Oct. 30.This issue includes a one-of-a-kind story on chopping a Victory by Bob “The Wizard” Philips. Our agent reports that they will havecomplete coverage of the SMSO and part one of Bandit’s Buell hop-up story. Plus, they are featuring Billy’s latest Lil’ Blue Suicide Machine perimeter long bike and tons more rad chops. It’s a killer issue.

Watch for the new issue on newsstands.

BIKERNET MEMBER RUNNING FOR AMA BOARD–That’s right, the former advertising director and former editor of Quick Throttle Magazine is running for the AMA board of directors. Mike Osborn has been devoted to motorcycle rights for over 20 years and is currently chairman of the ABATE of California political action committee. He is also on the board of directors of ABATE of California.

If you are an AMA member who livesin Southern California, Nevada (below Reno), Wyoming, Utah, Colorado,New Mexico or Arizona, fill out the official nominating ballot onthe stitched-in card between pages 12 and 13 in the October issue of theAMA’s American Motorcyclist magazine, put “Mike Osborn” on thenominating line, and send that puppy in. He’ll do a helluva job.

BIKERNET DRAG RACING REPORT–To sum up Woodburn, it was fast, safe, hot and well attended by both racers and spectators. We saw?some fantastic?200 mph?and 6-second passes and some wobbly runs that made you suck in your breath and clench your fists. These guys keep the throttle twisted no matter what. Steve Huff set a new AHDRA mph record for Pro Drag, replacing Marc Augustine’s. John McMillin won the Pro Drag category on Augustine’s old bike. I’ll have the exact numbers when AHDRA posts them on their Web site at www.AHDRA.com.

We will have extensive coverage of the Woodburn drags next week. Check the Down the Track section for reports and current standings. It’s got it all.

The terrorist attacks have obviously affected deeply, all Americans. I regard the?recess of work as a sign of respect for the dead and the suffering. Its only been three days since the end of the races at Woodburn, but it seems like it is in the distant past.?

I’ll be working well into next week once I get the pictures back, so be sure to check out my Down the Track section periodically. I haven’t heard from AHDRA yet on the scores.??Those on the East Coast?are reeling from the shock, and I’m prepared to be patient on this one. Lacking?words that express my intense anger, sorrow and fear?of what may come,?I’ve borrowed some:

“Diplomacy: the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ till you can find a rock.” – Wynn Catlin

“Don’t be a fool and die for your country. Let the other sonuvabitch die for his.” – George S. Patton

“All wars are popular for the first 30 days.” – Arthur Schlesinger Jr.

–Helen Wolfe

BIKERNET CULTURAL BUZZ–My name is Tokes (Rod Tokely) and I’m an artist working in MelbourneAustralia.I do illustrations for Live to Ride, the Australian biker lifestylemagazine, as well asother hot rod and motorcycle-related art.

I would like to invite you to visit my Web site athttp://www.bhome.com.au/tokes/ It’s a quick-loading folio of some of my artwork.I hope Bikernet will be interested in using some of my existing art orperhaps commissioning pieces specifically for your requirements.

–Tokes

BIKERNET SPECIAL INVESTIGATION–BANDIT THREATENED–After close coordination with the FBI, we have unraveled the following printed threat:”You’re the one that’s going to get beaten, my friend. ?And that JPEG orwhatever the hell it was I sent you, was not meant to be the publishedversion. After working on the 2002 calendar, I know all about that resolutionshit and putting stuff on zip and blah, blah, blah. ?

“Tomorrow is the last, the LAST day before we come after you. ?But it is going to be FINE. ?What you should be worryingabout is that when I come up for air, I will be coming for you.I am an evil, oops, I mean devil girl.And you have been a very bad boy.”

–Your gothic Mistress

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Effective immediately, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation office inWashington, DC will be closed until further notice. In light of thenational emergency that is taking place, and in keeping with thegovernment’s request to keep the phone lines clear, please do not try tocontact the office. Preparations for the upcoming Meeting of the Minds willcontinue, but the DC office will be closed for the time being.Beverly Waters and Tom Wyld are fine. They both made it into the officethis morning, but have since left and, for safety’s sake, will not returnfor an indefinite period of time.Please join us in keeping the family members and friends of the thousandsof victims of this senseless tragedy in your thoughts and prayers.Teri Hobbs, Assistant Director of Communications, MRF

THE FOLLOWING IS A NOTE FROM TOM WYLD REGARDING HIS OBSERVATIONS INWASHINGTON:

Capitol Hill has been evacuated, with Members and their staffs having leftfor home. Stores and restaurants on Pennsylvania Avenue are closed, and Iget the feeling we are on some enormous sound stage for a movie.

Sadly, with 10,000 dead in New York City, this is no movie.

At about 9 this morning, I walked over to Pennsylvania Avenue hoping tocatch a few staffers as I had heard some offices were closing. I heardwrong. Instead, I watched oceans of people pour from federal buildingshere, as the Mayor had declared a state of emergency and the Sergeant atArms had ordered the evacuation of the Congress of the United States. Bynoon, the streets around the Capitol Hill were all but deserted save forreporters and law enforcement officers.

Police cordoned off a one-block area around the House and Senate buildings,the Supreme Court and the Capitol Building. The barricade is one block fromthe MRF office, on East Capitol Street, N.E., and Second Street wheresome12 reporters spent most of the day. There, the reality begins to sinkin when you hear reporters drop the words “Pearl Harbor”

At this time (4 p.m.), there are still about 6 video cameras sitting in themiddle of East Capitol Street, all trained eerily on the dome of theCapitol Building. Still another camera and crew are atop the LutheranChurch of the Reformation, MRF’s neighbor a few doors down, similarlytrained on the dome.Customarily a friendly lot, the Capitol Policestationed at the entrances to the Supreme Court are stern-faced today, allarmed with fully-automatic rifles and short-barrelled pump-action shotguns.

As the networks covered a Pentagon aflame, the billowing smoke was visiblefor miles. One network camera positioned near the White House was trainedacross the river on the smoke from the Pentagon; in the foreground of thatshot was the Eisenhower Executive Office Building where MRF took ABATE ofIllinois to visit the President’s domestic policy staff.Times have changedso radically, so swiftly, it’s difficult to view that building in the sameway.

Perhaps the strangest part of the scene today, though, is sound —particularly the sound of fighter aircraft patrolling the skies above thenation’s capitol. Other than the occasional police chopper, you just don’thear aircraft of any kind in the skies over D.C., as the air space over theWhite House and Capitol Hill is restricted. About 10 a.m. I heard what Ithought was the sound of an explosion that seemed to emanate from the areadown toward the Rayburn House Office Building. Several others on the streetheard it, too; we soon dismissed it as a sonic boom, but it gets youlooking, listening. Anytime a plane was heard somewhere overhead, crews atSecond and East Capitol would hurriedly man their cameras, look through thelenses at the Capitol Building, and wait. Then a cameraman would say, “It’sone of ours,” and the crews would stand down.

Two AP reporters were walking down our street hoping to use someone’sland-line phone to call their office. (The cell phone system in D.C. hasgone crazy, I’m told; landlines are not much better.) I invited them to ouroffice; turns out I had worked for years with one of the reporters while atNRA. While walking around the block to grab lunch from the onlyestablishment on Pennsylvania Avenue that remained opened, she and Ihappened upon several Members of Congress, and she asked for theircomments. Florida’s Curt Weldon was on fire as he said that the first dutyof the Federal Government is the defense of the United States. “Politicianshave been bull-shitting the American people,” he said repeatedly (exactquote). Weldon was sharply critical of the intelligence establishment. Hehad just come from a security briefing by the U.S. Capitol Police,conducted at an undisclosed location. Weldon was outraged that the CapitolPolice received no intelligence heads-up whatsoever. Members of Congress(and the Capitol Police as well) learned that the United States was underattack by watching CNN. “Outrageous,” he said, “and it will not stand.”

The AP reporter also interviewed Senator and Mrs. Grassley of Iowa on 3rdStreet, a few doors down from MRF. The Senator used the phrase “act of war,but it was Mrs. Grassley who provided the reporter her favorite quote. I’llparaphrase: these people think that by killing other people along withthemselves, they will meet God. Today, they will realize they are wrong.

Even if we’ve seen the last of the attacks, things will change radically inWashington. Agendas are being rewritten and debated in the nearby homes ofstaffers and Members. Before Congress returns, every inch of House andSenate office buildings will be thoroughly searched for bombs. New securityprecautions will be instituted.Thus, it will be days before Capitol Hillresumes business as usual. And, judging from what we heard today, businessas usual in Washington is certain to be a thing of the past.

I have several letters going out, hopefully tomorrow, to various officialswithin the Administration urging new action on the issues of EPA, healthcare and traffic safety — issues where there is considerable distancebetween us and the Administration. I expect to close each letter with thesewords: “I hope we can work together to eradicate the distance between us onthese issues. Despite our distance, however, the bikers of America love ournation and support our President in this time of crisis, and we ask thatyou assure him of our prayers as he leads America through this dark hour.”

Tom Wyld

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HAD A HATE-MY-JOB DAY?–On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to thethermometer section. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer madeby “Q-tip.” Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lockyour doors, draw the drapes and disconnect the phone so you will not bedisturbed during your therapy.

Change to very comfortable clothing, suchas a sweat suit, and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove thethermometer.

Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not becomechipped or broken. Take out the written material that accompanies thethermometer and read it. You will notice that in small print there is astatement:”Every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is personally tested.”

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, “I am so glad I donot work in quality control at the Q-tip Company.”

FINAL TOYS FOR TOTS SCUTTLEBUTT–The SFPC actually told the Marine Corp to go fuck itself about six yearsago. We were the Toys for Tots Run (like everyone else). We let the Marinestake the toys to distribute until two things happened: First, at our run we wanted four or five toys to give to a few kids from the CancerCaring Center who attended the event. The Marines would not let us have itand a fight just about broke out. We ended up taking the toys and tellingthe Marines to go fuck themselves and this would be their last year gettingthe bikers’ toys; Second, we found out that all of the toys they collected (at least from ourrun) were sent to foreign countries and no toys went to any local kids….

That was it for them and we got hooked up with the local police agencies andthey distributed the toys to local kids and have been doing so since…

So now we are the Christmas Toys in the Sun Run and that’s our story…. andI’m sticking with it.

–Miami Mike
SFPC Publicity and Public Relations
Publisher Wheels on the Road Magazine

BIKERNET QUIZ–Q. What doesn’t belong on this list:Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob

A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs orwife, but you can’t beat a blowjob.

ALL AMERICAN CYCLE NORTHWEST NATIONALS presented by JOKER MACHINE COMING TOWOODBURN DRAGSTRIP, SEPT. 8-9–

AHDRA welcomes new sponsors for theupcoming Woodburn Ore., event on Sept. 8-9. All American Cycle ofPortland, Ore., has teamed with AHDRA, along with support from Joker Machine ofAzusa, Calif., to bring the thrills and excitement of 200 mph nitro-burning Harleyaction to Woodburn Dragstrip.

All American Cycle, in business since 1994, has been involved inprofessional drag racing with the AHDRA for several years in Pro Gascompetition. Mark Elam, owner of All American Cycle, has joined forces withfriend and 2000 Pro Modified Champion Steve Dorn on a newly built ProDragster bike for the 2001 season. Elam is the crew chief for the new BlackAttack Racing Team, and Steve Dorn serves as the pilot on the nitro burningmachine.

“It’s always been my dream to run a nitro-methane class, and with Steve’shelp, we have made this dream become a reality,” Elam commented. “There isnothing like the explosiveness and power of a fuel machine.” Steve’s veryfirst run on the new bike ended with ear-to-ear grins as he told Mark, “Thatwas awesome, I’ll never get on a gas bike again.” The team recently competedat the Pacific Nationals at Seattle International Raceway, coming away withtheir best time yet, a 7.777 at 170 mph.

Joker Machine has been a long-time supporter of classsponsorships in the AHDRA series. This year Joker Machine lends itssupport to the Pro Modified class and has also come on board for theNorthwest Nationals. Geoff Arnold of Joker Machine also makes time toparticipate in the action on his own Pro Modified bike. The Joker MachinePro Modified class is one of the toughest classes in AHDRA competition, withfull fields of entries at nearly every event.

The activities for the All American Cycle Northwest Nationals presented byJoker Machine will get underway Sept. 6, when All AmericanCycle hosts the official AHDRA Kick-Start party. There will be plenty of funfor racing fans, including drag bike displays and the finals of the “MissAll American Cycle” Bikini Contest. The contest winner will present theaward trophies to race winners at Woodburn Dragstrip.

Other exciting news from the All American Cycle Northwest Nationalspresented by Joker Machine includes a newly formed ride titled,LiverPalooza1. It is a ride designed after the infamous “Love Ride” in LosAngeles and is being headed up by 98.7/KUPL Radio to benefit awareness ofHepatitis C. Susan Barr, morning show host on KUPL, was stricken with thedisease and with help from country singer Naomi Judd’s doctor, who alsosuffers from Hepatitis C, Barr is in remission.

Barr’s morning show co-host, Lee Rogers of KUPL, vowed to put a charityevent together that would bring about awareness and help find a cure thatthreatened the life of his friend and co-worker. On Sept. 8,the ride will begin at Columbia Harley-Davidson in Vancouver, Wash. Thepolice-escorted ride will travel down I-5 to the Woodburn Dragstrip for theNorthwest Nationals. After the AHDRA qualifying session, participants willenjoy a free concert by Monument Records recording star Billy Ray Cyrus.Cyrus will also serve as the ride’s grand marshal. For moreinformation on the LiverPalooza1 Ride, contact Lee Rogers at (503) 497-2364, orColumbia Harley-Davidson at (360) 695-8831.

For more information on the All American Cycle Northwest Nationals presentedby Joker Machine, contact AHDRA at (336) 924-2095, or visit www.ahdra.com.

DISNEY CHARACTER STUDY–Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods whensuddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding aswordto her throat, said, “Red, I’m going to screw your brains out!”

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into herpicnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said,”Noyou’re not! You’re going to eat me, just like it says in the book!”

SONNY BARGER SELLING MOTORCYCLE– Sonny is selling the 2000 Road King that he road across the country for his book signing tour. Check it out on eBay. Actually, not a bad price for the bike either. Should be interesting to see how high the bidding goes.Check It Out Here

–Ted

MORE NEWS ON THE CHIEF–On the news stands now: Rolling Stone magazine (#877, Sept. 13, Britney cover, page 48) finally rolls out the article Herb Gold wrote about Sonny more than a year ago, with old and new photos by Gene Anthony. It should give the youngsters something to wonder about.

The U.S. paperback edition of “Hell’s Angel” will be released in late September. In October, Sonny will appear for book signings in the southeastern states of Tennessee, Kentucky, North Carolina and South Carolina, ending at Daytona for Biketoberfest. Details are still being worked out, and when the itinerary is firm it will be posted and you will be notified by e-mail.

For those who do not think screen savers should be silent, there are new SonnySaver editions with sound. Download and hear some of Sonny’s most memorable quotes:http://sonnybarger.com/scr

BUSTED BUELL REPORT–Are we gonna see pictures of the duct-taped Buell with urinal biscuits taped to your knees? Cable TV sucks, get out of bed….besides, I have pictures of Layla. She’s not gonna want to hang out with a guy with bedsores.

–Flynch

I’ve been running laps ever since I got home. Yes, there will be busted Buell reports coming up, ya nosey bastard.–Bandit

BIKERNET SALOON ANNOUNCEMENT–A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quietrural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender,who comes over immediately. When he arrives, sheseductively signals that he should bring his facecloser to hers. When he does so, she begins to gentlycaress his full beard. “Are you the manager?” sheasks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

“Actually, no,” the man replies.

“Can you get him forme? I need to speak to him,” she says,running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

“I’m afraid I can’t,” breathes the bartender. “Is thereanything I can do?”

“Yes, there is. I need you to givehim a message,” she continues huskily, popping a coupleof fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suckthem gently.

“What should I tell him?” the bartendermanages to say.

“Tell him,” she whispers, “There is notoilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.”

NABISCO PRESENTS BAG GUYS AND CORN NUTS– If you ride a motorcycle, then you just may be keeping some pretty interesting company, at least according to Nabisco and Kraft Foods. Nabisco’s “Corn Gone Wrong” promotion, hoping to give its Cornnuts snacks a new image, shows cartoonish characters in three “hardcore” scenes: as the devil, as criminals in jail, and in one more example of something gone wrong, on motorcycles.

What the hell? If we don’t have a bad image, cagers will be running over us constantly. Let the world know, we’re not to be fucked with.

BIKERNET DRINKING REQUIREMENTSSean got home in the early hours of the morning aftera night at the local pub. He made such a rackethitting the furniture as he weaved his waythrough the house, that he woke up the missus.

“Whaton earth are you doing down there?” she yelled downfrom the bedroom. “Get yourself up here to bed anddon’t wake the neighbors.”

“I’m trying to get abarrel of Guinness up the stairs,” he shouted.

“Leaveit ’till the morning,” she shouted down.”I can’t,” he said. “I’ve drank it!”

–Bikernet Morale Officer

BIKERNET SOCIAL ETIQUETTEHave you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your billsnow? Like bills aren’t distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mailin there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my checkwhen I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels…I write, “Could youthrow this away for me? Thank You.”

I’M OUTTA HERE–I can’t take it. The brothers are waiting in dowtown San Pedro, where all the antique cars and hot rods are lined up. I’ve got two women clamoring around the house and a funeral to attend tomorrow. I need a shot, some fresh air and a break from the computer. Have a helluva weekend.

–Bandit

CRAZYHORSE PROJECT BIKE–Here’s our latest project bike. I’ve attached two shots. Theyare kinda fuzzy (digital camera indoors). The bike will be up for saleright soon.Two killer big customs I’m painting will be done in the next few weeks.

ThenI’m zooming up to my home state of Connecticut for 10 days of visiting and ridingwith friends, hitting all the old haunts and biker bars. I’ll write up areport. I want to hang with Billy Streeter for a day or so and watch themaster work his magic painting skulls. It will bekiller to see all my old bike shops and painter buddies. I’m gonna try to getin a breakfast ride to Vermont. An old friend’s dad and his buds ride toVermont every Sunday morning. The leaves will be starting to changecolor. Spectacular days, chilly nights in leathers on the bike, riding backto the warm camaraderie of old friends. Can’t wait.

–JoAnn

TOY RUN EXPOSE–The country’s largest toy run, which claims to generate participationby tens of thousands of riders who donate tons of toys each yearfor sick and under-privileged children, was recently threatened with legalaction over its name.

There is a phenomenon in the advertising world most marketing professionalscan only dream about. It occurs when a product’s name becomes so well knownand accepted by consumers that it becomes the generic reference for allsimilar and subsequent products of the same type.

A perfect example is Kleenex. Regardless of who may be the actualmanufacturer of a box of “facial tissues,” most people refer to their papersnot rags as Kleenex.

When was the last time you put on a pair of “dungarees?” Regardless ofwhether they’re made by Lee, Dickies, Wrangler, Calvin Klein or some othercompany, chances are that in the minds of most consumers, those denim britches arestill Levi’s.

But when a “brand” name is owned by an arm of the government, you hadbetter damn well get your reference straight or they’ll send in theMarines. In this case, that’s exactly what happened.

In the case of Toys For Tots, you can expect a call from the U.S. MarineCorps ordering you to cease and desist or face the consequences of a legalbattle.

After 20 years of calling its annual event Toys For Tots, the DelawareValley Chapter of ABATE of Pennsylvania was given an ultimatum by the U.S.Marine Corps office at Quantico. Referring to a 1948 copyright, the Marinesfired a legal volley at the country’s most successful toy collection effortand threatened to sue if the name wasn’t changed immediately.

Unfortunately, because of copyright law, any defense against a Marine Corpslawsuit would be a costly, losing battle.

So if your group has unwittingly violated the Marine Corps’ copyright whilehelping the less fortunate kids in your area, we suggest you choose anothername for the event to avoid a call from Quantico. In fact, if your event issuccessful enough to garner any recognition from the media, we suggest youmake a point of noting that the Marines had absolutely nothing to do withit. They don’t deserve the recognition, falsely perceived or otherwise.

KING CLIMBS ON PODIUM TWICE AT SPRINGFIELD– Rich King wrapped up a strong weekend at the Illinois State Fairgrounds during the AMA Progressive Insurance U.S. Flat Track Championships, finishing second Sunday and third Saturday on the famed mile oval. However, with chances to win off the final turn in both races, the podium appearances were tainted with a tinge of disappointment.

“Going into that last turn, on both Saturday and Sunday, I thought we had it,” said King. “We did everything right but win.”

Chris Carr won both races on the mile oval, and claimed the series points championship. With two races remaining, King moved to second in overall points with 222 points, trailed by Joe Kopp with 213.

On Sunday, King began in row three after slight mechanical difficulties in his heat race and rode conservatively through the early laps of the final on his back-up bike. “The strategy was to conserve the tires for most of the race, and then to go for it with a chance to win on the final lap,” said King.

“I came off the final corner with a good run at it,” said King. “But I got a little sideways out of the corner, and Chris was able to nip me at the line. That was disappointing because I thought I had the win.”

On Saturday, King employed similar strategy, and came off the final turn in third, trailing Carr, who had the lead, and Jay Springsteen.

“I had a good draft and a big head of steam, but I thought Jay was going to draft on the right, and I opted to go inside Chris to the left,” said King. “Instead, Jay also went to the inside and I ran right into the back of his exhaust pipes. That caused a tense moment with a high-speed wobble, but we got it back under control.”

On the Fairground’s short track Friday, King placed a Buell Blast-powered dirt track racer on the front row of an AMA main event for the first time. In doing so, he won both his qualifying race and his heat race.

“It was running great and even though the Blast is a 500 going up against 600s, we had a great run,” said King who finished the final in 6th place

King’s next race will be Saturday, Sept. 8, in Vernon, NY. The race will be round 19 of the 20 round AMA’s Progressive Insurance U.S. Flat Track Championship series.

VISITING RELATIVES RULES– My friends…… from Pakistan are camping their way around the States.They have asked me if I know where they might be able to go without spending large amounts of money.

I said I would try my friends and family for accommodations. They travel light and bring all their own camping gear,and only require a small place to set up. I have given them your names and addresses, knowingyou won’t mind. I have enclosed a picture to helpyou identify them when they show up.

Thanks in advance.
Chris Camel

EDITOR OF WOMEN RIDER ESCAPES BANDIT–Bandit, in search of his sixth wife, has harassed Genevieve Schmitt, the editor of Women Rider, for years. She finally discovered the only way for her to escape his unrelenting affections was to get hitched quick.

She has done so and moved as far away from Los Angeles as she could, to Lebanon, Ohio. As the publisher of the first successful bike magazine for women, Ehlert, based in Minnesota, has afforded her the opportunity to work from wherever she lives. Her husband has been informed too many times of Bandit’s women-stalking tendancies, consequently he understands her plight and is supporting her desire to escape the grasp of the wounded Bandit.

Fortunately for the lovely, intelligent and talented journalist, Bandit was hospitalized by a deer on the way to Sturgis while taking a side trip to see his Wyoming sweetheart. That gave Genevieve the opportunity to leave the state undetected.

TOYS FOR TOT’S COMMENTS–?? ????????I read it but I don’t believe it. After all the support Bikers gavethe jarheads all over the country for many years, you’d think the Corpswould’ve been thankful. And look how many Bikers are ex-jarheads too. Itreally pisses me off to find out the toys went overseas. This is some reallypetty shit pulled by the Corps. let’s get our own name to be used by onlybikers and to hell with the Corps, “Semper Fi” my ass…….!!!!!!! ????????

–Pat

LOS ANGELES HAMSTERS RAID SAN PEDRO WITH LOCAL RIDERS–Los Angeles Hamsters are meeting in downtown San Pedro on Sept. 6 for the bars, the restaurants, the livemusic and hot rods.

If you’re up for a ride to somewhere away from traffic and crowds in Los Angeles, every first Thursday in downtown San Pedro is cool. Just take any freeway to the 110 and south to Harbor Boulevard. Hang a right to Sixth Street and hang another right. Ya can’t miss it.

The event is scheduled to rock from 6:30 p.m. until 2 a.m. It’s a goodtime for all.

TOYS FOR TOT’S COMMENT–Maybe Abate needs to have everyone change their toy runs to something likeKrus’in for Kids or something along those lines and have every groupthroughout the country change the toy run name and fuck the jarheads.

These are the things that keep me up at night.

–Jim

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR – SO FAR–A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his?attractive blond femaleneighbor came out of the house?and went straight to the mailbox. She openedit then?slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to?the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut?again and went angrily back into the house.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again,marched to the mail box, opened it and?then slammed it closed harder thanever. Puzzled by?her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

Towhich she replied, “There certainly is!

My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘YOU’VE GOT?MAIL.'”

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