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BIKERNET PARTY RESEARCH REPORT–This is the beauty of science, the ability to explain a naturalphenomenon…

I have not seen anyone explain this as well as Cliff Clavin on thesitcom “Cheers.” One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining theBuffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. And here’s how it went:

“Well ya see Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only moveas fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it isthe slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. Thisnatural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because thegeneral speed and health of the whole group keeps improving bythe regular killing of the weakest members.”

“In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fastas the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we allknow, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest andweakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beereliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster andmore efficient machine.”

“That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

–from Geno, HORSE magazine

HOG WEBSITE SUMMARY–Efforts are under way to create a Web site that lists some of thebest bike runs in several areas of the U.S.

Your input will make this one of the foremost sources for rideideas that can be shared by all who enjoy our enthusiasm for aride on a Big Twin! WE HAVE NO RUNS IN YOUR AREA!

Simply think about your best run of the season and give us a setof directions that will take others through the twists and turnsof the run you recommend. We’ll name it after you or keep itanonymous, whatever you prefer. PASS THIS E-MAIL ALONG TO A FRIEND!

Here is an entry form to send your ideas!http://www.shipyourbike.com/Submit_Ride.htm

After we have collected a good number of these we will post themall at http://www.GreatBikeRuns.com

It’s a FREE site for all bikers to use. There are some rides posted already if you want to take apeak.

Lovely Lady In The NewsLaurie Sumrall, last year?s Love Ride winner of the 2001 Harley Ford Truck.Check out how a ?queen for a day? spent her Love Ride 2001 weekend.

We all stayed at the Glendale Hilton. Friday we did a private thing at theLA Zoo with the 2002 trucks, then at 3 p.m. the limos picked us up and took us to the Jay Leno show.

From there we went to City Walk to Buca something-Italian food, last thing we did was BB King’s place. Saturday we had anunofficial reunion ride. It was the same run we did in the summer with thetrucks; they wanted to do it backwards on bikes. They had Road Captainscome down from Ventura H-D and help us out.

We started at the hotel, fromthere Malibu Inn for breakfast, we rode the canyons for about an hour,stopped at Neptune’s Net, headed to Ventura H-D, then back to the hotel toget clean, warm and party. woooo hoo.

Sunday was totally cool too. We had to be out front of the hotel by 7, thepolice escort led us to Glendale H-D and parked us. From Glendale the escortled us all the way to the lake and we parked in the VIP section, soakingwet of course, and my bike wanted to die halfway there, but it came back toits senses. We had to ring ourselves out, then headed for food and beer.We kinda all hung out, all day, all over!

You know who else was with us? Frank and Ivonne, the ones who purchased the Jay LenoH-D truck and his bike that all the stars signed. Very nice, down-to-earth people.

Oh! I almost forgot, George took me on stage and introduced me as last year’s winner. Funny, huh?

STOP THE PRESSES–In fact shut the bastards off and go for a ride. Nuttboy and I finally solved all the problems with the Cantina drama, and if he remembers the clues through the weekend, we’ll be blessed. We also stumbled on a notion for the second Chance Hogan book based on the tramp freighter cruise I’m taking. Check this out and let me know what you think.

There are some 12 chapters of the first Chance Hogan book in the Cantina. Keep in mind that it’s still a work-in-progress and may change drastically before it’s published. Generally I feel that it’s coming together and plan to finish it within the first month or so on the high seas, but there’s got to be another Chance saga developed during the world-over tour.

Ya see, Chance is a biker who’s trying to find his way as a lover and a non-stop rider. He hasn’t much ambition but a lot of heart. All he has to his name is his motorcycle and an unstoppable drive to find the right woman. San Pedro and women almost kill him in the first book. Perhaps as the second book opens he finds himself hooked up with a girl much like this.

A woman who can tear his heart strings from his chest and tie them into knots. He follows her to the dark side of the harbor where she’s kidnapped aboard a freighter. He has no choice but to load his scooter on the next ship bound for Europe and try to find her.

Do you think that will fly? Have a helluva weekend and a fantastic Thanksgiving. And for all the brothers and sisters involved in the terrorist war, whether it’s pushing papers and ordering supplies here or fighting on the sands of Afghanistan, many thanks. The free world respects everything you do.–Bandit

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BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–We took the weekend to “organize” the shop; large plastic bins were filledwith parts and more parts, lots of stuff for Pans and Shovels as well asEvos. Amazing what you can gather in years of work, saving most of itfor the day you might need it. I have learned the lesson: throw somethingaway and you will need it the following day, so we keep saving stuff. Thisgave us an idea: build a chopper with the stuff we had lying around,except motor, tranny and frame.Let’s see how inexpensive the end product will be. We will post it here assoon as we have something to photograph.

And now to the news:This past Sunday there was a ride against cancer, yep the Big C. Reportsclaim over 300 motorcycles showed up (all brands) and ended up in theeastern town of Fajardo.

Today the Caribbean HOG rally starts. I will get the report of the ride atnight. The event started yesterday with a welcome party andinscriptions, sure we missed it, we were pretty busy at the shop.

We heard a rumor that Ron Simms will not be at the Camel booth this year,too bad, but we bet Billy Lane and Choppers Inc., will be called to take hisplace.

As I write this (at 1 a.m.) I can hear the rumble of straight pipes from myhouse. It’s obvious that the rally is here and guys are looking for thingsto do. Who knows if they will make the 9 a.m. start.

The Custom Bike Show was canceled due to rain and the drop of the mainsponsor. They will reschedule and we will try to cover it.

That’s it for now. We have been working 12- and 15-hour days, the jobs keepshowing up. Expect a cool FXR and a changed Sportster pretty soon. Also WCCchopper No. 2, it’s down to the reassembly, will post as soon as it’s done.

Guys, drop a note at Your Shot. We make the effort to do this every weekand would like to know if it’s been enjoyed or if we are doing a shit job.

And to the Weasels: Stop giving flashy business cards, show us the bikesyou build.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Agent

CLASSIC TRIUMPH CHOP–The light is off a ’30s vintage teasipper. I fabbed the mount and license platebracket along with many other of the bike’s pieces.

It started as a build for a guy who got in and then lost his job half way intothe build. It would seem that his six-figure income still had him living weekto week so when he demanded I sell it before I was finished……. I simplytold him “no way” and I’d finish it to fit myself. We negotiated terms andcontrols were made for my feet instead of his size 15s. The bike had waytoo much work to let anyone else finish it.

We will feature this bike on the site in the next week. For more information contact Hackasaw atwww.hackasaw.com.–Bandit

SURFACE ANALYSIS DEPARTMENT– In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed throughstupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sear’s hairdryer: “Do not use while sleeping.” (Gee that’s the onlytime I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Detailsinside.” (The shoplifter special)

On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (And that wouldbe how …?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (But it’s”just” a suggestion.)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.”(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (Asnight follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (Butwouldn’t this save me more time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machineryafter taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate ofconstruction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds withhead-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (Asopposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.” (I gottaadmit, I’m curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eatnuts.” (Step 3: Fly Delta.)

On a child’s Superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable youto fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands orgenitals.” (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My gosh!)

BIKERNET THANKSGIVING WISH–As Thanksgiving is soon approaching, let’s all be thankful that we are Americans. And remember the fun that we had last year during the Sturgis Rally. Thought I would share a few more pictures just to keep you warm.

Ride safe and keep it between the lines,

–Rodger

YOUR help is needed on this issue NOW! Please complete the ONLINE survey now for each motorcycle you own, then do 2 other things to help:

Pass this newsletter on to other motorcyclists you know (whether or not they are ABATE members) who are online, and; Print out a copy of the questionnaire, copy it and pass it on to motorcyclists you know (whether or not they are ABATE members) who don’t have an internet connection. Have them fill it out and mail it to the address below to help stop the EPA from interfering with your right to ride AND the already fragile U.S. economy!Here’s the rest of the story about this important survey:

After an impromptu meeting down in Washington DC this week, certain information has been requested from motorcyclists in order to support and explain our opposition to EPA’s rule on motorcycle emission standards.

As always, our ability to provide honest, accurate, and factual information insupport of our positions remains a virtue that has enhanced our credibility both at the State House and on Capitol Hill.

Because of this meeting, we find ourselves in a position of needing information that only YOU can supply. We need ALL MOTORCYCLISTS to fill out the following survey and return it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! You need not be a member of ABATE of Ohio, Inc., the ONLY requirement is that you own a street bike.

We cannot over emphasize the importance of your participation in this survey. The successes we continue to see are a direct result of your grass roots involvement in our ongoing battle with the EPA. Be truthful and thorough. All personal information such as names, addresses and emails will be kept, as is our policy, confidential.

You can take the survey online (by clicking on the highlighted link) or you can print out however many copies you need and return them to:

ABATE of Ohio, Inc.
Legislative Office
PO Box 29246
Columbus OH 43229

Please fill out only ONE survey for every STREETBIKE you own!! Chapter and mass mailings are encouraged! If you have any questions e-mail Hairy George at: mcrightsoh@neo.rr.com

Don’t Forget the JUNE JAM Survey!

Just in case you haven’t visited the ABATE.com web site lately, we would also like to have YOUR opinion about the June Jam, our annual state biker bash!

We are thinking ahead to the 2002 edition of the party, and we need your input to help us plan the event. We want to make the coming year’s June Jam bigger and better than ever before, and your answers to the questions we have included in the survey will help us shape our plans!

Whether you have been to June Jam or not, we want your participation, and that of ALL of our online friends to make “The Jam” a biker event that’s a “MUST DO” on your calendar!

Just go to the home page at: http://www.abate.com, scroll down to the flashing “Take the June Jam Survey” link, and complete the multiple choice survey.~ It takes less than 5 minutes to complete, so GET CLICKIN’! (After you’re done, pass the link on to other motorcyclists for their participation too!)

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SIDECAR RIG FOR SALE– I’m selling my sidecar rig and trailer. I would appreciate any help you can provide.

This is such a specialized type of rig. Please pass the info on to anyone you know.

Anna Hersey
Home E-Mail: adhersey@yahoo.com
Home Phone: (425) 827-8274
Home/Cell Phone: (206) 715-0538

COWBOY REPORT– One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex.

The new bride asks, “What are them cows up to honey?”

The husband, a bit flustered, answers, “Why can’t you see? Them cows, they’re roping!”

She replies, “Oh, I see!” After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses having sex.Again the bride asks, “What are them horses doing honey?”

The husband answers again, “Them horses, they’re roping!”

She replies, “Oh, I see!” Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they start to explore each other’s bodies.

Things are going along fine until the bride discovers her husband’s penis. “Oh my!” she cries: “What is that?”

Well, darlin’,” he says, “That’s ma’rope!”

She slides her hands down further and gasps, “Oh my goodness! What are those?” she asks.

“Honey, those’re my knots!” he answers.

Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes the bride says, “Stop honey, wait a minute!”

Her husband, panting a little, asks: “What’s the matter honey, am I hurting you?”

“No,” the bride replies, “undo them damn knots, I need more rope!”

–from Chris T. the sticker maker

ED NETTERBERG DOWN–Just an FYI in the form of not so good news. Ed Netterberg, the long time motorcyclists rights advocate and curator of the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum, passed awayyesterday. As you probably know he had been ill for some time. The funeralis on Thursday. Will let you know details.

–Pepper

SURGICAL STEEDS MOTORCYCLE INDUCTED INTO HALL OF FAME–I wanted to be the first to congratulate you (John Covington) and Surgical Steeds for havingthe Steed Cobra as our first inducted Custom/Famous Bike Champion to theChampions of Show and Go Hall of Fame on MotorcycleIndustry.com.

The MotorcycleIndustry.com Advisory Group just voted in the Steed Cobra toour Hall of Fame. The competition was amazing. The Cobra was on the ballotwith the Captain America Chopper and Smooth Ness. All of which are verydeserving of the honor.

We will be linking the Hall of Fame viewing center for the Steed Cobra tothe interview that you did for us prior. It has some good information onthe Cobra and I am sure that the fans will love to read up about it.

Again, thank you and congratulations on the induction.

Brian Boston
President
Industry Pages, Inc.
www.motorcycleindustry.com

ANOTHER AWARD WINNER– Longtime publisher and broadcaster Chris Economaki receivedthe Lifetime Achievement Award at the 2001 MINI-USA/SEMA InternationalAutomotive Media Awards (IAMAs) held in Las Vegas, Nev., Oct. 30.

Economaki, best known for his role as editor/publisher of National SpeedSport News and a TV auto racing commentator for ABC and later CBS networks,joins previous winners Automobile Magazine publisher David E. Davis, Jr.,AutoWeek publisher Leon Mandel and automobile writer/columnist DeniseMcCluggage as a distinguished honoree during the conference held inconjunction with the Speciality Equipment Market Association (SEMA) show atthe Las Vegas Convention Center.

Chris, 81, resided for most of his life in New Jersey, but had recentlymoved to North Carolina, where his daughter, Corrine, publishes hisnewspaper. He has been deeply involved in auto racing since he saw hisfirst race at the Atlantic City, N.J., board track when he was 9 years old.He sold programs and racing publications until, at 14, he had become afixture in the racing world. He also served as track announcer many times.

Economaki took over National Speed Sport News in 1950, producing it for theRidgefield, N.J., newspaper and finally purchasing it in the 1980s. He wasthe first expert commentator hired by ABC’s Wide World of Sports, makinghis debut at the Firecracker 400 in Daytona Beach, Fla., in 1961. After 23years with ABC, he moved to CBS-TV for another 10-1/2 years.

REV TECH PANHEAD–Check the Custom Chrome Department on Bikernet for new products. There’s several and worth checking out.

OPEN LETTER FROM CRASH VICTIM–Emma Lujan who was once the part owner of Auburn Harley-Davidson. She was in a serious bike accident recently and wrote the follow to all those who thought of her during her crisis:

This made me think of how LUCKY I have been in my life. I wanted topass this on. In my recent little BUMP in the road, I was moved to tearsoften by the calls, cards and the beautiful flowers & plants sent byeveryone, each day (several times) my sprits were lifted with yourthoughtfulness. I hope I am good to you as you have been to me. I amdoing better each day.

Today I go to the DDS to start the process. Iwill again able to smile without laughing at myself. Funny how theGreat Sprit in the sky humbles us. I am so very grateful for how thingsturned out…

Today give someone you care about a call, a hug or just asmile. Let them know how much they have meant in your life. Again THANKYOU for all you all did for me.

–Sincerely, Love Emma

BIKERNET FUTURE TECHS– I am going to keep a pic. record of the new “Flow Bench” construction. It is fairly involved. I will?keep a journal of some sort also.?There?will be some parts that will be custom made. They are the heart of this project. These will be available to a person who wants to build a “Suck/Blow” machine and who for what ever reason wants to get into this “Black Art”.

–Paul Davis, Charlotte H-D

We don’t generally show nudity on Bikernet, but this shot was taken at a World Series game and we couldn’t resist.

SHE CAN’T WIN–A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.

“Damn, that was stupid,” she thought as she fell. “What a way to die.”As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.

While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, “Do you suck?”

“No!” she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her.As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her.

“Do you screw?” he asked.

“Of course not!” she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

He dropped her, too.

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. “I suck! I screw!” she screamed in panic.

“Slut!” he said, and dropped her. ??

STAN SHEPPARD RUMOR–The tea leaves have it that master drag racing champion and recent recipient of a sponsorship from Bud Lite, Stan Sheppard will soon contribute articles to Bikernet. He’s going to build a new racer for the next season and we will show you the bike coming together on Bikernet. That is, if the rumor is true?

Deal Of The Week

This is Custom Chrome part # 95-144. Retail price in the new catalog is $14,375!!! This is the ultimate Hard Core Kit, it features a FULL SHOW POLISHED 100″ RevTech Motor, Six Speed Tranny, and BDL 3″ Open belt drive!!! Those pieces alone are worth near $10,000…

Some of the other features are: 2″ over FXST style front end, Santee Wide Rigid frame, 200 series rear tire with belt-drive, 40 spoke chrome wheels, Upswept drag pipes, 12″ Apehanger bars, OEM style ’84-’99 brakes front and rear, Steel braided brake lines, Polished 3″ BDL open belt-drive, 5 gallon Fat Bob fuel tanks, Cast dash and FL style speedo, and Chrome steel forward controls.

This is a COMPLETE custom bike, all you need to do is assemble it and paint it (if you want?!?) and ride like hell! It comes BRAND NEW in the box (a great big one), with all factory warranties.

Check it out through Custom Chrome on the Bikernet Home Page.

These are very hard?enough to get with the standard drivetrain package, let alone a POLISHED one, they have been on back order for some time now. This one is still in the crate and ready to ship! Shipping will probably be around $500…depending where it is going. I will accept bank checks, wire transfers, we can try and work something out if you want it.?$12,000 or best offer!!!!! MONEY TALKS!!!!! I have several motors and trannies,?and wheels?available dirt cheap too, I need to move them all!!

–Aric Heckman
Heckman Customs
812-569-4876
raheckman@cunn.com

AIM Membership

You can now join AIM right here on Bikernet. Doesn’t cost a dime. AIM is basically the legal firm of Richard Lester the supporter and founder of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists and the Confederation of Clubs. He puts a ton of money into each one to keep bikers riding free and club members our of jail. If you join AIM and have an accident or know someone who does, call (800) ON-A-BIKE and you will be immediately legally covered.

Dan Wright just joined and here’s his Comments: I HAVE A 93 FAT BOY AND HAVE BEEN RIDING HARLEYS FOR APROX 14 YEARS, IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE THE EXTRA SECURITY OF HAVING A CARD WITH A NUMBER TO CALL IF SOMETHING SHOULD EVER GO WRONG. THANKS.– DAN

OKAY, THAT’S IT–We’re having a Pre-Love Ride party tomorrow night to welcome some of the guys from Compu-Fire, the journalistic crew from Japan and Harold Ponteralli from H-D Performance into town for the Love Ride. Then we’ll slip out of town for Long Beach and the Blue Cafe for a night with the Night Hawk’s Blues band and full sized pool tables upstairs. More parties are scheduled for Friday. There’s rides scheduled for Saturday, parties Saturday night and the Love Ride Fills Sunday.

Sure, I’m going to disappear from site around here, but I’ll finish the first Chance Hogan novel and try to write another based on the creaking ship cruise. I’ll still be handling the majority of the news except when the women take over.

From Eqypt we’ll duck Pakistan, hit India then Thailand for some sticks, breeze through Vietnam which should be an experience, then Hong Kong for the girls and opium dens. Unfortunately we’ll be pulling into Korea. I wasn’t pleased with Pusan during the Vietnam era, but we’ll check it out for positive changes, then slip into Japan for sushi, and to Taiwan for stereo equipment and the wonderful chow. Finally we’ll be docking in Manila in the Philippines, if they’re still speaking to us, before cruising to Singapore, then Jakarta and back to Hawaii. Then it’s a quick stop in Mexico before hitting the Panama Canal for Houston.I’ll be reporting every goddamn thing that happens from the cold Atlantic to hurricane season outside the port of Hong Kong. The lovely Cindy from Century Motors, San Pedro’s antique bike shop is trying to convince me to load Red Ball, my touring chopper into a container for the cuise. Have a beer and head out to the garage.–Bandit

BIKERNET EXPANDS HEADQUARTERS–Yes, that’s correct. We’re making so much fucking money we nearly doubled the size of the Bikernet Garage. Here’s evidence of our ongoing growth and accomplishments. Wait until we post shots of our new jail cell for slow contributors and women who try to escape, uh, actually we’re building a new foyer to the bikernet compound. Well, not exactly. Oh fuck it. We’ll at least have a tad more space for parts.

CROSSROADS MAGAZINE–I’m sad to report that my lovely connection on the east coast of Florida has decided to marry another man. Can you imagine? I’m heart-broken, but I must muscle up the pride to go on. Katmandu decided to marry Commander Randolph Lee Palmer on November the 10th. We here at Bikernet wish her and the Commander the best of love and safe roads into their future. Personally, I think she went through with this bad move because he’s a Commander and I’m only a Lieutentant in the Hamsters. Pissed me off. Recently she has been contributing to various magazines and building her freelance portfolio. She send us copies of the July/August and September/ October issues of this new slick bike magazine call Crossroads, with her coverage of her ride through England. The magazine is based out of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and if you need info or want to see a copy call (954) 202-5985 or e-mail them at contos1@mediaone.net. It’s a sharp looking rag.

LOVE RIDE WEEKEND–That’s right, this here is da Love Ride Weekend with parties every minute, starting tonight. Joe Walsh, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Vanilla Fudge, and Billy Ray Cyrus will headline Love Ride 18 on Sunday, November 11th. Jay Leno will be leading the pack once again. Sign-ups begins at 6:00 a.m. on Sunday at Glendale Harley-Davidson. The shop is located 3717 San Fernando Road between Los Feliz and Brand Blvd in Glendale, California.

It’s $50 buck a pop minimum for this, the largest motorcycle charity event in the fuckin’ world. But the action for the day is non stop with the ride out to the Lake from the dealership, a Motorcycle Trade Show, barbecue chow from Tony Roma’s. Myke Schwartz Skydiving Team, Victor McLaglen Motorcorps and Rhett Rotten’s Wall of Death will entertain the crowds. Plus there will be Prizes awarded to all participants including Love Ride Pins, Bandanas, T-shirts for the more money you raise. Up to Base ball caps, jackets and the grand prizes include a 2002 Ford Harley-Davidson F-150 SuperCrew pickup and a 2002 H-D FXST Softail. For more information about the prizes and the event check www.loveride.org.

BIG DOG IS ALIVE AND WELL–Here’s news from the only limited edition custom bike builder in the country that’s still growing strong in the market:

From rigids to rubber-mounts, Big Dog Motorcycles has been producing premium American cruisers for seven years, and are now shipping their 2002 model line-up. For 2002, Big Dog developed a more aggressive line of bikes that features cutting edge design such as one-piece tanks, contoured fenders and new machined aluminum wheels.

These new models show off Big Dog’s commitment to aggressive custom style while still providing some of the best riding premium cruisers in the business. In addition, Big Dog has announced the introduction of two totally redesigned models featuring the popular “Super-Fat” rear tire. The launch of the Big Dog Motorcycles’ “Super Fats” series (Bulldog, Mastiff, Pitbull) coincides with the unprecedented success of last year’s Mastiff. The Mastiff was Big Dog Motorcycles top selling bike for 2001.

“The 2002 bikes have a lot of attitude. We went from bike to bike looking for ways to significantly improve each model. We developed a stable of three fat-tire bikes for the main street cruiser, including the new Pitbull, a “Super-Fat” rigid frame. On the other end of the spectrum we developed the ProSport, a rubber mount, 6-speed bike that gives riders maximum comfort and performance,” said Big Dog Motorcycles President, Nick Messer.

This was on the rear fender of Allen Herzog’s Super Gas bike 28 at Vegas. –Helen W.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Another week goes by, the work orders keep racking up, and it’s rainingcats and dogs. We got a call from Geno at The Horse for a super tight photoshoot, as soon as we saw a couple rays of sun we hurried some photos of theorange WCC. There’s a few rides planned for this weekend , it seems theywill be wet ones. We are totally swamped with work at both shops, yeah sowhat else is new. Man and we can’t make it to the Love Ride and No loveparty, that sucks.Oh well ,why complain, life is good. And here’s the news.

The super cool No Love party will take place at WCC shop in Long Beach thisSaturday, man we will miss it.

In the Dec issue of Hot Bike, they chose the best 6 bikes of 2001, we areproud to say that we are distributors for BMC and Bourget’s, both in thelist.

The Desertores will have a two ride weekend, one Saturday , one Sunday.They will have an early , very early Toy Run, and a ride to the East sideof Puerto Rico.

The HOG Caribbean Rally is near, seems like visitors incriptions are down,but the locals will be present. They have done to activities so far forincriptions.

The first Custom Bike show will take place this Sunday 11th in the mountaintown of Cayey, as far as we know, and if the rain allows it. We are one ofthe sponsors and await for the go ahead.

Watch for upcoming issues of the Horse magazine (subs here in Bikernet)we will be featuring a cool bike from Puerto Rico, and sometimes a goodlooking local girl. We are working on a full article just about our shopCaribbean Custom Cycles.

We have the first two Bourget’s EX choppers, they are an economic versionof the famous BBW bikes. The choppers are very similar to higher end BBW’sbut with an 80 cu in motor and 5 spd tranny ,both from Harley, the pricerange is from $22,000 to $23,000 We will feature both bikes here inBikernet soon, for more info call your dealer or us.

Im going to add some bikes for sale during the weeks, off and on, pleasecall us at the shop (787) 721-0633 for more info:
2001 HD Xl sport 4 plug, black 2,000 miles $12,500
2000 HD Road King Classic, lots of stuff 2,100 miles burnt orange $24,000
2000 Caribbean Chopper 80 cubes daytec rigid $16,000 NEW !
1999 HD Dyna Wide custom color , 1,200 miles $23,000
2001 BBW Kruzer 113 SS motor yellow $22,500 (super deal)
1999 BBW Chopper black 96 SS motor $24,500
Oh well, Bandit’s about to leave, we are “under water” and lots of workmust be done before the HOG rally. We intend to show up at the openingparty with at least a dozen noisy choppers, create some mayhem is our goal.We will let you know when this happens.

And to the Weasels, there’s no such thing as a $12,000 front end or an overnight custom bike builder.Take it easy, but take it !

–Jose Caribbean Bikernet, drowning, agent.

WEED NEWS LETTER–On October 25, with our nation still focused on the war againstterrorism, 30 DEA agents raided the Los Angeles Cannabis ResourceCenter, which distributed medical marijuana to nearly 1,000 seriouslyill people, most of whom have AIDS.

The DEA seized all of the center’s computers, files, bank account,plants, and medicine. The clinic, which had been the largest and mostwell run medical marijuana distribution center in southern California,is now out of business, and its patients are now combing the streetsto buy marijuana from street dealers.

In response to the raid, a U.S. Justice Department spokesperson said,”The recent enforcement is indicative that we have not lost ourpriorities in other areas since Sept. 11,” according to The New YorkTimes on October 31.

This is an outrageous statement, and it’s time for us to fight back.Please visit http://www.mpp.org/USA to send a pre-written letter ofprotest to your U.S. representative. H.R. 2592, the states’ rightsmedical marijuana bill currently pending in the U.S. House ofRepresentatives, would change federal law so that the DEA would nolonger be able to prosecute patients in states that authorize medicalmarijuana.

MPP’s Web site will determine whether your U.S. representative (1) hasnever taken action to change federal medical marijuana policy, (2) haspreviously supported medical marijuana in Congress but has not yet co-sponsored H.R. 2592, or (3) is already a co-sponsor of H.R. 2592.

Regardless of how supportive or hostile your U.S. representative is,MPP has developed a series of pre-written letters that you can choosefrom, with different letters tailored to each of the three groups ofHouse members mentioned above.

Please visit http://www.mpp.org/USA to send a pre-written letter.THE WHOLE PROCESS TAKES LESS THAN TWO MINUTES.

Continued On Page 2

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BIKERNET CARIBBEAN LIVE–Just got back from Biketoberfest, amazing how crowded it was. We expectedless people since, as we all know, the past events had dampened a lot ofactivities, but no, not a Biker event. Actually it was way too crowded,just a bit less than the dreaded Bike Week some are already claiming100,000 , which is a lot more than ever before.

I would dare to say that most bikes sported Florida tags, lots of Georgiaand other southern states, lots of newbies cracking their brand new dragpipes at all hours, and cops had a great time shutting them up.

Jesse James showed up in a Yamaha R-1, (yeap a Jap bike) and had a verycool Chevy 2 in his booth.Bourget’s had the new EX models and was seen riding one of his RetroChoppers, Billy Lane was riding around in his new Knuckle, and chopperswere seen left and right. Arlen Ness has a new shop next door to Carl’swhich displayed a banner saying Arlen Ness Customs.

We had a great time (andmissed Bandit) at The Horse party,all the magazine crew was there, and the best display of choppers inDaytona was at the parking lot, great time was had by all, and finally wewere able to talk to friends without the hussle people trying to takephotos and talk to the “famous” builders. The fun was over and as soon aswe hit the island was back to the bikes, WCC number 2 and number 3 are onthe mock stages, will send photos as the work progresses. Oh well, and nowto the news.

The Horse had a great party at Willy’s Honky Tonk bar, I would dare to sayone of the few bars in Daytona that allow colors. Hammer, Geno and crewwere there to say hi and plan on the future of the already very succesfulmagazine, seems like the plan is to do a party every year, we hope so.

Jesse James and the West Coast guys were camped at the parking lot of thenew bar and grill The Wreck, yes it was always crowded with people tryingto get a glimpse of Jesse and buy some shirts. Some really cool choppersand cars were in display as well as to Jap bikes that were used astransportation. Jesse says he will get the whole parking lot for Bike Week,can’t wait to see what are they up to, something cool , I’m sure.

The unveiling of the V-Rod by our local dealer was a huge success, theytell me it was so crowded that people could not get into , get this, theparking lot! Also there were a bunch of Rubbies at hand trying to buy thebike right there and then.

We spent some time with our friends at Custom Works in Daytona, to me thebest and most complete shop there, plus they keep expanding and will havemore space for bike week to serve you better, if there call them, tell themwe sent you.

Also we took the Road King to Carl’s Speed shop, we needed to remap thePowercomander, this ended up being a quick and thorough job, including afew dyno runs to do it properly, and at a great price. It helped that wedid this before the heavy crowds showed up.

We were looking for a Buell Blast, we think it would be a cool shop bikeand the best bike for Yoly to learn how to do burn outs and wheelies,Daytona Harley had a couple, so we went in to inquire, I asked for thesalesperson wich ended up being a dude called Dave, jeez what an ass, afterbeing extremely rude and basically kicking me out of his office ’cause hewas too busy and “in the middle of a deal” Too bad since I had the crisplettuce burning my pocket, and I did tell him so. Now I know why I keepdoing our own bikes and being glad I don’t have to deal with guys likethat. Thanks again Dave.

While standing in Main Street I found hope in the law enforcement officialsonce more, a very efficient cop was giving verbal warnings and pointing atpeople that were, sort of, breaking the law. I’m sure he could have ticketeda lot of people but chose not to, like a normal cop (not the ones inSturgis). A simple warning seemed to be enough. I’m surely hoping that he isthe one that pulls me over the next time.

Watch The Horse (subscriptions sold on Bikernet), we will be featuring an article every month, new and oldbikes alike, plus a run or two, all from Puerto Rico.It all starts with the2002 issues.

Oh well gotta get out of here, bikes 2 and 3 are waiting for me, plusanother sporty on the works. Maybe by 2005 I will have a life oncemore……and to the Weasels, action speak louder than words.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Agent.

RAY RUSSELL REPORTS FROM AUSTRALIA–Our man Down Under was seen at a race with a famous… Hell, we don’t know. Fill us in.

CONFIRMATION NEEDED–In a classic case of Cheech and Chong redux, two morons from Melborne,halfway down Florida’s East Coast, flew their Piper Cub this week on ameandering course from Pensacola in the Panhandle towards the tiny coastaltown of Crystal River, just north of Tampa.

There they lingered, flying slow, lazy circles above the manatees,canoeists, scenic freshwater springs…and Florida Power Corp.’s CrystalRiver nuclear power station.

Until, that is, two Air Force F-16’s promptly appeared alongside and forcedthem to the local runway. Where they were arrested. And their 65 pounds ofonboard pot, and a shiny new Glock, was confiscated. Bail: $250,000. Lawenforcement’s reaction: priceless.

–John

WE ARE MUCH TOO CIVILIZED TO DO THIS NOW………… TOO BAD ! General John ‘Black Jack’ Pershing – USMA class of’86 (that’s 1886).

He?showed us how to stop Islamic terrorists when he was in command of the?garrison in the Philippines in 1911. There had been numerous Islamic terrorist attacks, so “Black Jack” told his boys to catch some of the terrorists alive.

Having done so, General Pershing intended to teach them a lesson. He forced?the terrorists to dig their own graves and then tied them all toposts,?execution style. Knowing they welcomed the chance to die a martyr for?Allah, General Pershing had several pigs slaughtered in front of the terrorists and instructed his soldiers to dip their bullets in theblood?and?fat of the pigs. Thus, the terrorists were terrorized; they saw that?they?would be contaminated with the blood of pigs, which would mean that they?could not enter Heaven, even though they would die as terroristmartyrs.

All but one was shot, their bodies dumped into the grave, and the hog guts?dumped atop the bodies. The lone survivor was allowed to escape back to?the?terrorist camp and tell his brethren what happened to the others. This?brought a stop to terrorism in the Philippines for the next 50 years.

–Rogue

DIXIE RIDER SCUTTLEBUTT– I just hung up the phone with Scott Goodknight and I’m excited. Not about Scott or anything weird like that….I mean he’s a nice guy and all, but hey, I’m strictly a T & A kinda guy….

Anyway, before I tell you about that, I wanted to remind you that there are still some great events to attend……The Gulf Coast Thunder is going on this weekend in Biloxi Mississippi. If you get the chance, ride over to the Gulf Coast Civic Center right there on the coast highway and tell them I sent ya! Next weekend is the Steel Pony Express?is down the road in Naw’?Leans (New?Orleans for you illiterate folks!) and then it’s home for the holidays. I hope to see you at one or both of these events.

Speaking of events, we’ve finally gotten some pictures of the Labor Day blowout at the Steel Horse Saloon up on our site. Check it out at http://www.dixierider.com/images/septblowout/index.htm

Now about that special deal. Scott Goodknight, the founder of the American Bikers Guide. These are the folks that put out those super rally maps. The ones drawn by Thunder. Thunder draws the “Jaded” cartoon for us every month. Anyhoo, American Bikers Guide has printed a Bikers Atlas that lists hundreds of events in 2002 and a whole bunch of rally maps and maps of major metro areas. There is also a helmet law status map and a rally locator map. In short, it’s a great book to have, or to give as a gift. Seriously. We don’t endorse very much, and this one gets the nod. This book is going to sell for $19.95 from dealers across the country, but for the next?5 days, everyone who responds to this email will?save $ 6.45!. (Your price is $13.50) But, (there’s always a butt, isn’t there?) You have to act BEFORE midnight on Wednesday October 31.? After that, and you’ll have to pay full price, or wait until your dealer gets their shipment. Limit one dozen per customer.

STICKER PROJECT–We’re working on a line of stickers with a down under artist, Tokes. This is a black and white sample before the color is splashed into all the right places. Watch for ’em comin’ up.

If you need stickers, this is the company we’re working with along with Jesse James.

BIKERNET TRAVEL RECOMMENDATIONS–A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big departmentstore looking for a job.

The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.”

Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the storewas locked up, the boss came down.

“How many sales did you make today?”

The kid says, “One.”

The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.

How much was the sale for?”

Kid says, “$101,237.64.”

Boss says, “$101,237.64? What did you sell him?”

Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a mediumfish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a newfishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said downat the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down tothe boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then hesaid he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down tothe automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.”

The boss says, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him aboat and truck?”

Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and Isaid, ‘Well, since your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing!”

–Max

THINK ABOUT THIS–After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six andinjured1,000, President Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S.military personnel, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224and injured 5,000, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunted down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39U.S. sailors, Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunteddown and punished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, an estimated 7,000 people wouldbe alive today.

This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Withoutcasting stones, it is a legitimate question.”There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relativelyinexpensive software used by tens of millions of people and giveshundreds of millions of dollars to charity. The other sponsorsterrorism.That being the case, why is it that the US government has spent moremoney chasing down Bill Gates over the past ten years than Osama binLaden?”

–Dan

CANTINA WINNERS ROCK– If you joint the Cantina and support the Bikernet Crew every 10th winner gets a signed copy of my latest book, Sam “Chopper” Orwell.Here’s the latest list of winners:

Mike Bradshaw
Hot Springs, AR

William Nelson
Greer, SC

John Boaz
Whittier, CA

Thomas Willingham
Oakland, CA 94607

THAT’S IT– We’ve dumped the news on you today, ’cause a crane is coming to the headquarters tomorrow to deliver to small cells to the back yard to imprison writers who can’t make their deadlines or women who try to escape. We’ll have pictures over the weekend.

The Blue Flame was sold to a long time rider who hadn’t been on a bike in a while. Get this, he wanted to slap the cash on Micah McCloskey’s desk recently when his wife talked him out of the radical chop for a new Road King. So he rolled down to Bartels’ on the coast and plucked a new jet black Road King off the floor, but after a week of riding the King he took it to Micah McCloskey’s Custom Motorcycles and told him, “Sell this sucker. It’s not me. I’ve got to have the Blue Flame!”He’s had the bike for a couple of weeks and loves every minute of it. Choppers Rule.

I’m waiting on my visas for the world wide adventure. We’ve got a serious line-up of articles and new plans for the site while I’m away. Each week a bubbly little travel maven calls and throws another date on the table. I was packing my seabag for shipping out the week before the Love Ride then the teletype report came in that the ship’s hold caught fire and it’s stuck for repairs in the Panama Canal. I’m pacing the hardwood decks. I’m going to drag out the ’48 Pan and go for a ride.–Bandit

Continued from Page 1

THE TRUTH ABOUT AB EXERCISES– A little boy walks into his parents bed room to find his mother ontop of his father riding him. The mother sees her little son and gets of her husband as her son leaves the bedroom. The mother, concerned aboutwhat her son had seen, gets dressed and finds her son in his bedroom.

The son asked his mom, “what were you doing to daddy.”

The mom replies, “do you know that daddy has a big tummy”?

The boy says, “yes, he does have a big tummy.”

Mom says, “Well I have to get on daddy’s tummy and flattenit so it doesn’t stick out that much.” The boy says, “You shouldn’t do it anymore because it won’t work.”

The perplexed mother asks, “how come?”

The boy says to his mother, “because when you go outshopping, the lady across the street gets on her knees and blows daddies stomach back up.

–from Chris T.

Lady Layla, my mug and Bikernet fiction writer Buckshot at the JIMS Vegas drags.

BIKERNET LITERARY DEPARTMENT–C.L. Cake or “Buckshot” has become a recent contributor to the Bikernet through his horrifying fiction tales. This biker is also a successful novelist, and we just put his book up on the site in the Amazon bookstore. Check it out.

SOMETHING ABOUT GUNS– Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the otherday and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you got to love this!!!!

This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing,archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised onthe rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them properrifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violentkillers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended!

–from Robert T.

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP GUIDELINES–? An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”?

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says.”We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “They’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares… Now what do we do for Christmas?”

–from Gene Koch

+++++DRAG RACING UPDATE+++++

Randy Borho lifts both wheels off the ground – frequently – and he doesn’t really mean to! This is a Street Pro bike which means it can technically be ridden on the street.

HELEN WOLFE RETIRES FROM DRAG RACING–Rumor has it that Helen who has attended the entire series of all-Harley Drag Racing for the last several years and was the Bikernet Drag Racing Correspondent, may be hanging up her pit pass. She will continue to shoot for Bikernet is several areas, but she needed to find an area of the industry more supportive of her talents.

She’ll be sorely missed at the track, but support for the drag racing coverage has not been forthcoming and we all have to make a living. Stay tuned to see what happens next.

VENTURA CHAPTER REPORT–A Ventura County judge this week ordered the 25-year-old son of Hells Angels leader George Christie Jr. to remain held in lieu of $1-million bail pending trial on drug sales charges.The ruling came in response to an Oct. 15 state appellate court decision that found the trial court had failed to give specific reasons when setting bail for George Christie III.Christie, who has been jailed for nearly eight months, is charged in a broad drug-and-racketeering case involving alleged drug sales to minors by members of the Ventura chapter of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club. Although Christie has no criminal record, bail was set 10 times higher than the standard bail schedule.

In its opinion, the 2nd District Court of Appeal in Ventura concluded judges must explicitly state their grounds when setting such high bail.In Christie’s case, the appellate court did not recommend a bond amount but sent the matter back to Ventura County Superior Court Judge Art Gutierrez for a rehearing.

That proceeding was held Oct. 19, and Gutierrez issued a written opinion on Tuesday ordering Christie’s bail to remain at $1 million.Gutierrez said his decision was based on information contained in grand jury transcripts and declarations of law enforcement officials.”The court finds the defendant is vice-president of a sophisticated organized criminal street gang commonly called the Hells Angels, and that he is part of a conspiracy to sell drugs to minors,” the judge wrote.

“In fact,” he continued, “he personally furnished drugs to minors at weekly barbecues or parties.”

17th ANNUAL MEETING OF THE MINDS– Patriotism was exemplified by 318 state motorcyclist rights organization members and activists at the 17th Annual Meeting of the Minds barely two weeks after the devastating attacks in New York City and Washington, DC.

The entire report of meetings and the obstacles to motorcycling freedom currently are published in the Bikernet Bikers’ Rights department. Check it out.

WAR SOLUTION–Are you ready to fight for your country? Scary thought!Take all Western women who are within five years of menopause – train usfor a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna .

Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, andlet us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stufflike grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make evenarmed men in turbans tremble.

We’ve had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them andtheir future. We’d like to get away from our husbands, if they haven’t leftalready. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a goodman with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.We have nothing to lose.

We’ve survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, andthe grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across the west and never lost apound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistanwith no food at all!

We’ve spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardwarestores, or sporting events…finding bin Laden in some cave will be noproblem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh,please … we’ve planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extendedfamilies at Christmas dinners for years … we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we’ve divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is forhow they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We knowhow to find that money and we know how to seize it… with or without thegovernment’s help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as wecrawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

–Chris Wright

Continued on Page 3

I want to allow the military to perform their jobs with our support and be proud and supportive of the manner in which our government is handling these strikes. But the media continues to second guess every move, and question each tactic. Are they questioning the Taliban, interviewing women who have been tortured, or asking the Afghan people about the danger that useless attacks have brought to their lands by Osama? Nope.

Well our ABATE party went well! More to come …–Helen W.

Seems to me that the Taliban have declared war on us and attacked our civilians, not visa versa. Okay, goddamnit let’s get to the parties Halloween night, the naked women, the flickering lights on the porches and the real reasons we fight for freedom and the American way. Let’s get to the news:

HOW WILL YOU TAKE IT?–The Gentleman emerged from the bathroom naked and wasclimbing into bed when his?lady complained, “I have a headache.”

“Perfect”?the Gentleman?said. “I was just in the bathroompowdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orallyor as a suppository,… it’s up to you!” ????????????????????

–from Rogue

THE BUDWEISER REPORT– How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on 11th September, 2001…..

Thought you’d like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield, California.

On September 11th, a Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business tofind two Arabs whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack. It was obvious they were elated with what had happened earlier.

The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told himof the very upsetting event. He didn’t feel he could be in that store with those horrible people.

His boss asked him, “Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item our beverage company sells there? We’ll never deliver to them again.”

The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face.He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again.

–from Rogue

LAS VEGAS GUGGENHEIM NEWS–The Bikernet Undercover Motorcycling Correspondent Helen Wolf talked herself into the Venetian Hotel, Las Vegas Guggenheim motorcycle display. These are just a few of her artistic shots inside the austere display. If you happen to roll into Vegas in the near future, don’t miss it, especially some of the first motorcycles ever made.

Helen’s array of photographs will be on display in the Cantina.

WINO JOE SUMMARY–Mr.YR & Crew, y’all can read what I’ve said’bout The War on Bandit’s click-on “News”; then go to their back issues for thelast 3 or 4 weeks.

Bandit is Keith Ball; he was the main-man under LouKimzey at Easyriders. Even though he was HA, he & I are pals & we workwell together. There are a few “Red & White” I have known for years & wedo respect each other.

I’ll be 60 years old in 4 months, I don’t needany new enemies. The World has to work together on this shit. All Bikersshould communicate with each other. These terrorist could be on yourstreet. Y’all know what ta do with’em. America ain’t perfect, but ourpeople try to help others when we can. But don’t fuck with US. We can beBAD.

I volunteered to open mail at work & will donate blood. I havenever seen this Country be so committed since WWII. Flags fly all over,even at the Mexican taco joint down the street. Please send this to allBikers. “USA Forever”. Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

After The War we can get back’ta fuckin’with each other:) But for now,let’s Ride Together.

FUCKIN’ WITH EACH OTHER NEWS–Hells Angels and Vagos went to blows last weekend at Orange County, California swapmeet. During the peaceful swapmeet approximately 40 Vagos stormed the gate and the Hells Angels’ booth manned by 8 members. A battle commenced and it took 15 minutes for the fight to be halted. Several members of the Vagos were hospitalized.

–Steve B.

The above was reported by someone who witnessed the fight. He is not club affiliated. I confirmed it with him this morning. I have also received reports from other bikers who were there, who do not agree with the above. Out of respect to them their accounts are published in the “Your Shot” area.

THE TRUCK DRIVER REPORT– There was a little boy sitting on the curb in front of hishouse.

In one hand he held a package of M&Ms and in the other a cat. Well,thenosey neighbor across the street noticed him sitting there on thecurb, and wondered what he was doing. Closer observation of the little boy brought shock at the sight.

Little Bobby would put an M&M in hismouth, bitethe cat on the butt, and then scoot down the curb a little bit.

Theneighbor stared with wonder as little Bobby kept doing the same thingover and over again. He would put an M&M in his mouth, then bite the cat on the butt, and proceed to scoot down the curb a little further each time.

The neighbor, now growing more concerned, started to walk towards little Bobby. When the neighbor reached little Bobby he said, “What are you doing there little Bobby?”

Bobby said, with a shrug. “Oh. Just playing Truck Driver.”

“Truck Driver?” asked the neighbor in perplexity.

“Yes,” Bobby answered quite casually. “I’m poppin’ pills, eatin’ pussy, and movin’ on down the road.”

EUROPEAN VACATION WITHOUT THE GRISWOLDS– Jean-Claude Chamaa of Burbank, Calif., was recently named the grand prize winner of the “World on a Harley” contest sponsored by Harley-Davidson Authorized Rentals & Tours. Chamaa will soon feel the rumble of American iron as he and a guest cruise Europe on a Harley-Davidson, as part of their dream European vacation.??

The “World on a Harley” contest helped mark the launch of Harley-Davidson Authorized Rentals & Tours in several European markets. The program is the only motorcycle rentals and tours program backed by the Harley-Davidson Motor Company. Now anyone with a valid motorcycle license and a major credit card who possesses the skills, knowledge and ability to operate a heavyweight motorcycle and meets the minimum age requirements (varies by location) can enjoy the official Harley-Davidson renting or touring experience.

As the grand-prize winner, Chamaa and a guest will receive the use of an official Harley-Davidson Authorized Rental motorcycle during a guided Authorized Tour, including round trip airfare to Europe, accommodations and meals. Two semi-finalists, Robert Van Fleet of Eureka, Calif., and R. Douglas Neal, Jr. of Columbia, SC, will receive the use of a Harley-Davidson Authorized Rental motorcycle for up to three days. ?????

? Tours conducted by Harley-Davidson Authorized Tours operators include the use of a Harley-Davidson Authorized Rental motorcycle, guide service, some meals, lodging and a support vehicle.

Chamaa’s essay was chosen out of nearly 1,000 entries from qualified motorcycling enthusiasts from across the country. Essays literally poured in off the Web site, www.hdrentals.com, non-stop from July until September. The entries received described a number of adventurous European vacations, from roaring through the British Isles to exploring the Swiss Alps. The judge’s panel, consisting of writers from the top motorcycling magazines including American Rider, American Iron and Thunder Press along with representatives from Harley-Davidson reviewed the entries, which were judged on how well they captured the spirit of Harley-Davidson, creativity and style.

So, your essay didn’t win — no problem, renting and touring is easy! Simply log onto www.hdrentals.com to find an authorized operator in the city where you want to ride.

I’m gonna try writing a few things forthe Horse. I’m also gonna try to hookup with Ironworks as they are NC based.

I wrote this Daytona story differently than the last, it’s more adventureoriented than newsy. It was that kinda week, people were just having fun,including me. The craziest thing about the whole week is that two peoplerecognized me as a “writer.” Billy Lane was one and didn’t even know I’m apainter.

Hey by the way, Happy Halloween! And I think you are too hot as a redhead.You know what long hair on a guy does to me.

–JoAnn
Bikernet East Coast Editor

BIN LADEN TARGETS AVAILABLE–Here’s copy of the target. I’m selling the targets for the same price quoted in “your shot”, posted yesterday or Friday. geez, don’t ya read yer own webpages? haahaa.

–Concrete Pete
Cpkidwel@aol.com

A WORD FROM THE CALENDAR MAKER–I’d like to take this moment to tell you about the exciting and highly cost effective sponsorship and advertising opportunities available from FastDates.com.

Calendar Title Sponsorship, $3,000 Annual ($250/mo):? Includes you company name/logo and website featured on the front and back covers, and every page of the calendar of your choice: FastDates, Iron & Lace, Ripped Pavement, Berm Busters, Garage Girls. A product display ad on the credits page of the calendar. Your company’s sponsorship listed in all advertising and marketing related to the calendar. Free banner link ad on the calendar’s sales page on the FastDates.com website – a $150/mo. value. Effectively a $3,000 per month advertising campaign value for a one time annual cost of just $3,000!

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Continued on Page 2

Photo from Kyle at Biketoberfest

Life is bananas as we all know, right about this precise moment. If it’s not war, we have the neighbors dog snorting our mail before we open it. If he keels over I’m not going near it. The media drives me mad, yet there were more scooter folk at Biketoberfest than ever before, and we’ll hope that the same applies to the Love Ride 18 this year on the 11th of November in Los Angeles.

Shit is too hectic. I’m getting shots for the undercover cruise around the world today for Hepatitis B, and hooking up a satellite phone to a lap top. My Mac wouldn’t work so a Bikernet brother turned me onto a PC laptop, thanks Richard K. We ordered a GPS so we’d be on track and could find our position on earth anywhere at anytime. Visas are on order and of course my doctor reported to the ship that I had been in an accident, so I had to find a Hamster doctor to straighten them out. Just because I can’t hear, I’m blind in one eye, can’t see straight and one leg drags behind the other I’m still good with a knife if the Taliban try to take over the ship in the Indian ocean. Let’s get to the news:

LOVE RIDE 18–Get ready to rock. It’s comin’ quick, November 11th is the date for the 18th annual largest charity fund raiser in the world. Okay, you know all about it. It’s been covered in every bike mag in the world and will hit them all again this year.

If you need anything call the 24-hour-a-day hotline (800) 246-5618, extension 7 for updated info, or visit the Love Ride on line www.loveride.org. Harley-Davidson of Glendale is located at 3717 San Fernando Road in Glendale between Los Feliz Blvd. and Brand Blvd. Have a great time as always.

RevTech? 6-speed motorcycle transmission assemblies and 6-speedmotorcycle gearsets sold prior to September 12, 2001 have been recalledbecause the 4-6 shift clutch can crack or break during use. This conditioncould cause severe transmission damage. Such damage may occur withoutwarning and can cause vehicle control problems,including locking of the rearwheel.

Owners of motorcycles with RevTech? 6-speed motorcycle transmissionassemblies and 6-speed motorcycle gearsets should bring the equipment to aRevTech? dealer to have the recall service performed without charge.

Owners can call the RevTech? recall line for informationregarding the recall and RevTech? dealer locations:

1-800-815-9762 or 1-408-778-5943

FINEST BILLET PARTS ON THE PLANET–Are available through Joker Machine. I’m not jivin’ if you want quality, check them out. They’ve got a new catalog. See if you can get one through their site.

COURTS REFUSE APPEAL– The U.S. Supreme Court on Oct. 15 refused to hear an appeal in the caseof two Dayton, Ohio men cited for driving without licenses in 1998.

Magus D. Orr and Andre L. Smith were ticketed in June 1998 at randomlocal police roadblocks. The men argued the stops were unconstitutionalbecause police had no particular reason to suspect specific criminalbehavior.

Nonetheless, the Ohio Supreme Court unanimously upheld the roadblocks inMay, and the high court’s refusal to intervene means the convictions nowstand.

“The idea that government agents may seize people at checkpoints withouthaving any suspicion of wrongdoing it very un-American,” lawyers for thetwo men wrote in asking the Supreme Court to hear the appeal.

Dayton police stopped cars according to a prearranged pattern — whetherit be every 10th car or every fourth — after posting a sign 100 yards awaywarning drivers they might be stopped. (In some cases, motorcycle policeare then stationed precisely to stop drivers who make U-turns or otherwiseseek to avoid the roadblocks — their very avoidance being considered”suspicious behavior.”)

In Dayton, police asked for a license, and if the driver had none theofficer ran a computer check. Approximately one in eight Dayton driverswere thus found to have no valid license.

Following the Supreme Court’s decision not to review the case, “We intendto do more checkpoints,” announced Dayton city prosecutor Deirdre Logan.

–From Rogue

OSAMA HEALTH CHECK–Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned abouthis mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date ofhis death.

Closing her eyes and silently reaching into therealm of the future she finds the answer.”You will die on an American holiday.”

“Which one?” Osama bin Laden asks nervously.

“It doesn’t matter,” replied the psychic. Whenever youdie, it will be an American holiday!”

–Catts

WILD SHIT TO THINK ABOUT–After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six andinjured1,000, President Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S.military personnel, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunteddown and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224and injured 5,000, Clinton promised that those responsible would behunted down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39U.S. sailors, Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunteddown and punished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, an estimated 7,000 people wouldbe alive today.

This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Withoutcasting stones, it is a legitimate question.

“There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relativelyinexpensive software used by tens of millions of people and giveshundreds of millions of dollars to charity. The other sponsorsterrorism.That being the case, why is it that the US government has spent moremoney chasing down Bill Gates over the past ten years than Osama binLaden?”

–Dan, from Needles, CA

BIKERTOBERFEST INITIAL REPORT–Hello from sunny Daytona Beach, Fla. I’m having a great time so far. The softail is running like a champ. And you could not ask for better weather. Last night I was minding my own business, locking up my trusty 1200 at the Iron Horse, when I was kidnapped by 4 shady charactors from Ohio. They forced me to show them the secret shortcut to Main St, then force fed me Baileys and Kaluas at Froggys.

Dave Perowitz saw me struggling to get away but acted like he did not recognize me. I ran into Hammer and Geno from HORSE magazine today. They were getting ready to shoot this killer CSI chopper. I’m hitting the Corbin party tonight with Charlene Sparks and the crew from Drag Specialties. Everywhere you look are savage scoots. Sunday will be here before I know it, so I’m making the most of Biketoberfest while I can still stand. Saturday night is the Horse party. That ought to be “interesting.” Yeahha! Oh thanks for the package, got it today.

–CrazyHorse
Bikernet Bike Show Manager

TASTELESS JOKE DEPARTMENT– An airplane was going down & everybody knew they would crash in the open ocean below. A well-dressed rich lady takes out her jewelry box and puts on every diamond and all the gold jewelry she owns!

The passengers all look at her and say what are you doing?

She says, “When we are in the ocean my diamonds & gold will sparkle and I will be the first one they rescue!”

Then another woman takes off her blouse and covers herself with $100dollar bills?

The passengers all look at her, and she says, “When we are in the oceanthe $100 dollar bills will be floating all around me and they will find me first”!!!!!

THEN a black lady tears off all her clothes and just gets butt naked!!!!!

One of the female passengers looks at her and asks —- lady what areyooou doing?

The black lady says…”GIRL!!!!! You know they always look for the black box first!!!!!!!!!!!!!

–Chris T.

PAMELA ANDERSON IN THE BEGINNING–Beautiful Pamela Anderson’s original Fast Dates Calendar shoot!Our never before seen or published photos! It’s the world’s hottestpinup girl and TV star posing on the factory Yoshimua Suzuki “Big Papa”Formula Extreme bike from our first ever 1991 Fast Dates Racebike PinupCalendar shoot taken way back in 1990.

Before Playboy, before implants, before Baywatch, before Barb Wire,before Tommy Lee, before VIP we gave you Pamela first. Now check out anexclusive portfolio of never before published Pam ela Anderson calendarphotos in Members Corner at http://www.FastDates.com

All 2002 FastDates.com Calendars Selling Out Fast. Order Online Now!The 2002 editions of the FastDates.com Calendars are selling out fast.Featuring Iron & Lace cover girl and Penthouse Pet of the Year Zdenka.Go online to order your calendars now before they are gone. We expectto sell out by mid November -that’s just 4 weeks away.http://www.FastDates.comI recieved this email today …It sounds believable I am forwarding it incase someone did see this happen..they ‘d know what to do…Subject: Please take a moment to read this~ unbelieveable!!

BIKETOBERFEST INVESTIGATION–On the weekend of October 20th at Daytona Florida’s annual Biketoberfest avery close friend of mine, his wife and 3 year old daughter. Witnessed ahorrific bike accident. The Motorcyclist was traveling at approximately 50miles per hour when he laid the bike down. The Bike and Rider tumbledsideways for quite a distance. Eventually the rider separated from the bikeand was crumbled in a bloody heap. This occurred in front of a crowd ofonlookers.

My friend who is a highly decorated ex marine, including a purple heartrecipient, in his mid 50’s. Is a former member of Montauk, NY. Ambulancesquad. Did not think twice of racing to render aid to the accident victim.With total disregard for his self he tried to revive the victim who had nopulse and was not breathing. After a few moments he detected a weak pulseand rattling breathing. He drew upon his knowledge both as a combat veteranand ambulance person to save the fragile life before him.

He was relieved to see two officers approach him. Immediately noticing thepatches on their uniforms identifying them as EMT’s (Emergency MedicalTechnicians) . When my friend was asked “What Happened ?” he immediatelygave the two individuals the status of the victim. The whole time he wasreassuring the person that he would be fine. He tried to express to theofficers/EMT’s without alarming the victim that it was very urgent that thecyclist get medical attention or he would not make it.He asked the officers if they had a neck brace. They stated they did, butrefused to get it until they found out what happened! They walked around andasked other people what had happened. Ignoring the fact that this person wasextremely close to death and his fate was in their hands.

The victim began to regain consciousness, gurgling blood, he tried to bringhimself to a crawling position. My friend suspecting he may have a seriousneck injury held him down and reassured him that help was there and he wouldbe alright. He pleaded with the Officer /EMT’s to help stabilize the victimwith a collar and to get him to a Hospital. The officers became arrogant andtold him to leave the victim. He questioned if they were going to help him.He was told not until we find out what happened. My friend explained he wasa former Ambulance squad member and stressed the urgency of the situation.The officer turned to the other officer and said get him out of here.

At that point to the amazement and dismay of his wife and 3 year olddaughter, the other police officer forcibly handcuffed and screamed for helpfrom other officers. He was taken to jail where he was detained for Sixhours and charged with several Felonies. (Resisting arrest, interfering witha police scene, assaulting an officer, etc.)None of which is true.

In writing this I ask that you forward this to anyone you know. I am lookingfor witnesses that can help shed light on this story. Even if you don’t rideMotorcycles someone you know may know someone. People travel from all overthe United States to attend this event. If anyone witnessed this Pleasecontact me:

–Casey Cass
C/O : Montauk Boat Works
P.O. Box 1222
Montauk , NY 11954
or call Toll free 877-668-BOAT
Fax: 631-668-3996
Email : MontaukBoatWorks@AOL.COM

BIKERNET SERVICE OPPORTUNITIES WEEKLY SUMMARY– 1) People in N.Y. and D.C. are going to hit the food banks in their area this winter. Here is an easy way for us to help – Campbells is donating a can of soup to area food banks when people click on a football helmet at their website. It’s quick, easy and can be done once a day.

Go to www.chunky.com/click_for_cans.asp then click on your favorite team’s helmet and Campbell’s will donate a can of soup. That’s it! Please pass this on to your friends.

2) www.thehungersite.com – you can click once a day and the site will donate free food to charities around the world. You can also access the Breast Cancer site from there – again a click to help pay the cost of a mammogram for women who could not otherwise afford it.

–from Robin Norell

CRAZYHORSE FINAL BIKETOBERFEST REPORT– I wasn’t sure what to expect at Biketoberfest this year, but I wasn’texpecting things to go the way they did. This event just keeps growing. Notmany bikes in the shows. Everyone was out riding, taking advantage of theunreal weather. It was so warm I was wearing a tank top for night timeriding. The crowds were thick.

American flags were everywhere. Flying offthe backs of bikes, posted in windows, and stretched across double Ds. Theage of the billet barge is gone. Choppers were everywhere. Hot days andcrazy nights. I didn’t get in until after 5am most nights. I tried to stayout of trouble but it kept finding me. As soon as I get the rest of thepictures, I’m gonna pour myself a cocktail, sit at the keyboard, and try toget the whole crazy week down in writing. From the Corbin party to the nightI got kidnapped and everything in between.

A separate report on the HorseBack Street Choppers magazine party willfollow. That party needs it’s own pages. It was the strangest and mostintense night I have had in years. And after this past summer, that’s sayingsomething.

— Crazy Horse

TV GUIDE–AFGHAN EDITION–Fall Primetime Show Lineup (where available)

MONDAYS:
8:00 – “Husseinfeld”
8:30 – “Mad About Everything”
9:00 – “Suddenly Sanctions”
10:00 – “Allah McBeal”

TUESDAYS:
8:00 – “Wheel of Torture”
8:30 – “The Price Isn’t Right”
9:30 – “Afghanistan’s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers”
10:00 – “Buffoon, The Infidel Slayer”

WEDNESDAYS:
8:30 – “When Northern Alliances Attack”
9:00 – “Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pitta Bread”
9:30 – “Just Shoot Everyone”
10:00 – “Veilwatch”

THURSDAYS:
8:00 – “Matima Loves Chachi”
8:30 – “M*U*S*T*A*S*H”
9:30 – “My Two Baghdad’s”
10:00 – “Diagnosis: Heresy”

FRIDAYS:
8:00 – “Judge Laden”
8:30 – “Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things”
9:00 – “Tic, Tac, Taliban”
10:00 – “No-witness News”

SATURDAYS
8:00 – “All In Allah’s Family”
8:30 – “Everybody Loves Osama”
9:30 – “Flintstones” (Sci-Fi Channel)
10:00 – “60 Minutes Of Public Executions”

SUNDAYS
8:00 – “Omar’s Jeopardy”
8:30 – “Name That Explosion”
9:30 – “Bowling For Bread”
10:00 – “CNN”

IF IN AN ACCIDENT CALL (800) ON-A-BIKE– AIM and Richard Lester the main entity behind the National Coalition of Motorcyclists has one mantra, to help bikes stay free and stand by them if in accidents.

Recently a husband and wife were traveling in Valley, Alabama, on their 1998 Harley when an automobile driven by a 67 year old retired physician attempted to make a left hand directly into their lane of travel. The only two eyewitnesses to the collision initially stated that the automobile failed to yield the right-of-way, turning directly in front of the bikers. The results for the couple was that an AIM attorney was able to $893,000. So call these guys, if you or a friend are in an accident.

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More shots of Biketoberfest from Rogue.

LET’S HIT THE ROAD–I hate negative bullshit that prevents us from chasing women, building bikes and riding. We only have so much time to enjoy our lives, so I try to deal with the bullshit with pride and integrity and move on. I’m sure many others dealing with this terrorist feel the same.

The bottom line, do what you can to support those who fight and those who lost relatives, then party and ride.–Bandit