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July 4, 2002 Part 3

TWO CLUB PROSPECTS SHOT

Continued From Page 2

SAN DIEGO’S CYCLE VISIONS POKER RUN–Cycle Visions 2nd annual donor awareness poker run is scheduled for Sunday, July 7th… $25.00 donation to benefit Childrens Hospital ($20.00 to Childrens – $5.00 winnings) *Food * Prizes * Refreshments* There will also be a judged bike show, live music donated by the Ravens. 1st place $500, and 2nd place $250.00 ($25 show entry)…. We will also be having other raffles…the grand prize is a pool table donated by Olhausen pool tables and a Harley Davidson jacket donated by Cycle Visions. Sign in is between 9:30 – 10:30….Cycle Visions, 4263 Taylor Street, San Diego, CA 92110 (619) 295.7800

On July 7, 2002 Cycle Visions is holding a fundraiser benefiting Children’s Hospital and Health Center. The day will start with a Poker Run and conclude at Cycle Visions in Old Town with a judged bike show, live music donated by the Ravens, food and drink. The grand prize is a pool table donated by Olhausen Pool Tables and a Harley Davidson jacket donated by Cycle Visions.

This event started out about two years ago as a donor awareness ride to bring attention to one of our customer’s need for a kidney/pancreas transplant. Dawn lost her sight at the age of 21 due to diabetes and was on dialysis for 13 months. That didn’t stop her from enjoying more than 32,000 miles on the back of her friend Ken Padilla’s motorcycle. Incidentally she went into the hospital for the operation the same day of the Donor Awareness Run. Today she serves as the spokesperson for this event.

Sign-up for the poker run will be between 9:30 and 10:30 at Cycle Visions. The suggested donation for the poker hand is $25. Another $25 will enter a bike in the show with a chance to win $500 for first prize and $250 for second. All makes of motorcycles are welcome.

CRUISING RIDER REPORT–Just got advance copy. GREAT editorial column (Gunplay). I have to admit,the one-two punch of you and “Bandit” Ball is the best commentary of any EPGtitle in my humble opinion. I thoroughly enjoy readingKickin It and Uneasy Rider every issue!

ICE CREAM MAN FROM HELL–I’m the WebBastard for the Ice Cream Man From Hell and Crippled Old Biker Bastards, among others. Jim, the I.C.M.F.H. wanted me to contact you regarding linking up with Bikernet.

He also would like to get in phone contact with you. Please let me know how we can link up and if you would forward a phone number for Jim to give you a call that would be appreciated. The C.O.B.B. site was just launched last week so it’s in it’s infancy stage right now, the site that is, the C.O.B.B. Society is growing in leaps and bounds! A link page has to be established yet as well as more member pictures, stories and what-not.

Thanks for your attention.?

C.O.B.B. 4-ever,

Scott Free
PA State COBBinet Representative
WebBastard @ www.icmfh.com &
www.cobbsociety.com

HOLLISTER REPORT–Mr.5 Ball. Thanks for your support. Hollister is a community event. Itreally helps the KIDS. Sometimes I get down on all of us bad-ass bikershelpin’out. But, this is my homeCamp.

Flash this one. Check outHOLLISTER FOREVER Click-on “Clubhouse” for moreinfo/leave a post on tha “wall”. Or check tha links.

FTW has you.

LATEST DEADWOOD REPORT–I’ve attached a link to the story in today’s Spearfish newspaper.Deadwood residents can begin returning home this evening beginning at8:00 P.M. The fire is along and south of Boulder Canyon now which isthe road between Sturgis and Deadwood. It is believed it will becontained in that area.

Guy Edwards
Sturgis

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=4616648&BRD=1300&PAG=461&dept_id=156925&rfi=6

GAMBLER’S REMORSE–A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail.

The cabbie said, “If you don’t have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!” So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, “How much for a ride to the airport,” he asked?

“Fifteen bucks,”came the reply.

“And how much for you to perform oral sex on me on the way?”

“What?! Get the hell out of my cab.”

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked ” How much for a ride to the airport? “The cabby replied “fifteen bucks. ”

The businessman said “ok” and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers….

TWO HELL’S ANGELS PROSPECTS WOUNDED–By DAVID TIRRELL-WYSOCKI.c The Associated Press.

Two prospective members of the Hell’s Angels motorcycleclub were shot and wounded Saturday in what police said appeared to be acontinuation of gang rivalry.

The shootings came less than two weeks after thousands of bikers from aroundNorth America left the area after their annual Motorcycle Week, which hadbrought police warnings of potential violence.

“It appears to be part of the ongoing cycle of violence between themotorcycle gang rivals,” said Sgt. John MacLellan.

In May, nine members of the Pagans motorcycle gang pleaded guilty to assaultcharges from a fight in which one man was killed at a Hells Angels motorcyclerally and tattoo expo at Plainview, N.Y. Authorities said the battle, whichalso injured at least 10 people, arose from turf disputes between the twoclubs.

MacLellan said Saturday’s shooting happened along a highway somewhere betweenLoudon and Laconia, north of Concord in central New Hampshire. The bikers,who weren’t identified, were treated at Lakes Region General Hospital forgunshot wounds and were released.

MacLellan said details of the shooting were sketchy because the two men, bothNew Hampshire residents, wouldn’t say much to police.

Laconia Chief Bill Baker said the shootings were what police had tried toprevent during Motorcycle Week. Some businesspeople and local politicians had criticized Baker for hiswarnings of potential violence at the event, accusing him of being analarmist and of working to harm the lucrative annual event.

City officials denied vending permits for Hells Angels to sell memorabiliaduring Motorcycle Week, but were overruled by the state Supreme Court.

CHILDREN’S CHARITY EVENT MOVED DUE TO CLUB WARS–All motorcycle related events in Ventura County, California have been canceled due to the disputes between clubs. This decision included the Exceptional Children’s Society Annual Beach Ride. The charity still needs the support so a special concert was schedule in Ventura. Try to make it and support the kids.

BIKERNET QUOTE OF THE WEEK–I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. –Frank Sinatra

JAMES BOND ON BIKERNET–A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The women notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, ” It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”

–from Chris T.

Tattoo Of The Week–

I am sending you two photos. Photo #1 was how it started . I sent youthis photo back in February of this year .Now my tattoo is finished andI would like to share it with you . I am very proud of my artwork . Mytattoo work was done by a man who lives and runs a tattoo shop in mysmall town , his name is Mack McKnight .

I told Mack what I wanted,Roses, because my husband was the first man to ever give me a rose. AScorpion because my brother (whom I miss very much) who died a coupleof years ago got bitten by one when we were kids, and wore a 14kt goldone around his neck after we grew up. Tribal because my husband has sometribal. A Mask because I collect mask. The smoke and barbwire was Mack’sideal. Ninety five percent of my tattoo was done freehand. It tookaround 12 hours to complete over about a 12 – 14 week period. If you areever in Calhoun , Georgia look Mack up. He is not hard to find, just askanyone in town with a tattoo , they can tell you where his shop is.

Debra Davis , Calhoun , GA

PS : My husband told me if I wasgoing to get a tattoo not to be a pussy get me a big tattoo I could beproud of ! So what do you think ?

Thanks for sharing Debra. Your tattoo looks great! I’m still waitingfor others to submit their tattoos. Don’t be shy, get your fifteen minutesof fame here on Bikernet.com!

Sin

BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT–Damn, it’s 1600 and I’m still chained to this goddamn keyboard. I’m outta here. Have a great holiday and becareful, goddamnit.–Bandit

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July 4, 2002 Part 2

SAMSON MANUFACTURERS WALLPAPER

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT FOR THE 4TH– First and foremost, Happy fourth of July to all, it’s great when you areable to celebrate your independence, I guess in more ways than one. Don’tlet those freedoms that were set by the efforts of others go to waste.

It’s great that we have been receiving more and more e-mails from Bikernetreaders, we are glad that we can help with the questions and builds. Alsowe have received several messages asking for the Chopper Freak ™ shirts,and even better some messages with the finished projects after months ofe-mailing back and forth with questions and answers. All of this is verycool to me. Part of this web-site is based in helping anyone with theirprojects or whatever needs (finding girls and stuff like that need notapply). I’m sure there’s a few decades of bike building knowledge amongstthe staff at Bikernet, so use the tools you have !

You have the power to post questions in “It’s your shot” or e-mail any ofus directly, for sure stuff that someone does not know, someone else will.A few years ago I used to help out on a Compuserve forum by American Iron,it was a great venue for helping each other out, meeting people and havinga bit of fun, even though it was a small forum (by Bikernet standards) weare still friends and e-mail each other from time to time. I guess what I’mtrying to say is, don’t just use Bikernet to read stuff, participate andask,we have the technology. And when those bikes are done, send the photosover, I would love to see them.

Caribbean Report
Our web site, ChopperFreak.com will be up and running pretty soon, (we hopebefore Sturgis) so pay us a visit, nope don’t worry, we won’t leaveBikernet, au contraire, we will have a new venue for some more wacky stuff,all our bikes, stuff to buy and photos of Puerto Rico. This is all a bigass (nope we don’t have big asses) family, Us, the Horse and Bikernet (plusChoppers Inc, etc,etc, etc) and it will stay like such….Will let everyoneknow when its running for sure)

Like I said before, here’s two shots of Bikernet readers rides, the coolass rigid 57′ Panhead belongs to Kevin from sunny (and fuckin’ humidFlorida) and that sweet black Evo belongs to Rob from California, enjoythe bikes folks.

Caribbean report-bike

On the Jack Daniels BBQ news, Guti and Ramon, got a couple trophies, it’sbeen 5 outa 6 years winning awards, congrats.Also thanks to all the guys that helped us out, you know who you are. MaybeFerlin the blind photographer will send me the BBQ photos one of thesedays….Nope, not holding my breath.

We are working on a new series of Caribbean Choppers, our design, ourstyle, we are aiming for Biketoberfest and you will see them here first.The ideas and components are on paper right now, but let’s say you willsave some money on shocks and front fenders… and no posers, there will beloud and kick only.

Oh well, time flies when you are rushing a bike for Sturgis, while youparty tomorrow have a cold one on me, we will be on a mad scramble to putthe chopper together since everything has to be on the ship by nextThrusday…Let’s see what happens…

See ya in the Black Hills….

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet report.

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT– Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border San Antonio, Texas (Rooters) Unwilling to wait for their eventualindictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketingexpense.

“They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-bookedthe revenues,” said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso”Right in front of my daughters.”

Calling themselves the CEOnistas, the chief executives were firstspotted last night along the Rio Grande River near Quemado, where they boughteach of the town’s 320 residents by borrowing against pension fund gains. Bylate this morning, the CEOnistas had arbitrarily inflated Quemado’spopulation to 960, and declared a 200 percent profit for the fiscal second quarter.

This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its underperforming areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5 billion.

Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably frustrated.

“First of all, they’re very hard to find because they always standbehind their numbers, and the numbers keep shifting,” said posse spokesman Dean Levitt. “And every time we yell ‘Stop in the name of the shareholders!’, they refer us to investor relations. I’ve been on the phone all damn morning.”

“YOU’LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!” The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common executive weakness. “Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as a CNBC anchor,” said U.S.Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis. “It was like moths to a flame.”

–from Josh

SAMSON MANUFACTURES WALLPAPER–We hard a hard time believing this report until we captured a sample of the new Samson pipe hauling truck. Check the Samson site or the department on Bikernet for free samples.

Samson

NEWS FROM WHITEHORSE PRESS–Just Published! MOTORCYCLE DETAILING MADE EASY: THE SECRETS FOR MAKING ANYBIKE LOOK ITS BEST, by David H. Jacobs, Jr., 143 pages, $19.95.

If you think you know how to keep your motorcycle clean and shiny, thinkagain! In this practical new book, author Dave Jacobs will teach you thingsyou didn’t even know you didn’t know. With lots of clear photos toillustrate every procedure, you can learn all the tricks for making the mostof your cleaning and care sessions. By evaluating what sort of work isneeded for each part of the bike and beginning with the mildest methods forthe given material, you can revitalize an old machine and keep a new onelooking showroom sharp.

To order a copy of MOTORCYCLE DETAILING MADE EASY, click onhttp://www.WhitehorsePress.com/Email.asp?CN=50245&EN=en0206&ID=MDME

IRA

I RIDE ALONE —is a new 35mm feature film being produced by NELSON MADISON FILMS for release in Fall 2003 with it’s premiere slated to be held in Sturgis during Harley’s 100th Birthday Bash. This film is an action packed, fictional drama featuring riders and their bikes as they cruise the open highway experiencing life and all it has to offer. It is a tale of personal freedom, commraderie, mis-adventures, tragic humor, great bikes and great characters. An ensemble cast of actors and the bikes that they ride is sure to make this film a favorite with everyone that feels the call of the open road. Check back often to see how production is going.

The cast, which is expected to include a host of memorable actors that ride for real will be announced here soon.

To check out the culture, visit http://www.bikernet.com Keith “Bandit” Ball, author, editor and host of bikernet, will be posting regular updates on the film production, including “dailies” and sneak previews of the script. Watch for cool merchandise and contests coming soon.

To check out some awesome bikes, visit http://www.paulyaffeoriginals.com Paul Yaffee, creator of some of the most awesome machines on the planet will be building four custom bikes that will be featured in the film and later auctioned off for a soon to be announced charity. Watch for sketches and pictures from the shop, as they get built.

If you’d like to get involved and be a part of film history in the making, send us an e-mail and we’ll send you more information on sponsorship, investment (accredited investors only), media, or anything else you want to know about. Send e-mail to: info@nelsonmadisonfilms.com

Buell Chop

RARE BUELL CHOPPER CAPTURED–Bandit, I hear you have a fondness for the Buell…I ran into a group on NYS Troopers ( Wild Pigs) at a party this weekend.One of the guys was running the snot out of this. He put it together himself and it was looking sweeeeet. It’s a Buell in a softail H-D frame with a crap load of home made parts. It’s not quite show finished yet, He’s having too much fun riding it to finish it up just yet.

I’m gonna submit it to the Bikernet Cyber Bike Show for him soon. I’ll get a shot of him in uniform on it for a feature on the site.

Just thought you’d appreciate the work in it and the inventiveness.

–TBear

CICCOTTO TAKES FOURTH BUELL PRO THUNDER PODIUMBuell Firebolt Rider Second at Brainerd Event.

Mike Ciccotto of Sebastian, Fla. rode a Hal?s Performance Advantage Buell Firebolt XB9R in its fourth consecutive podium finish, placing second in the Buell Pro Thunder Series event at The Colonel?s Brainerd International Raceway here today. The strong finish helped Ciccotto maintain his second position in the Buell Pro Thunder Series points standings.

The race was not without some drama for Ciccotto, who was running in the draft of Kirk McCarthy down Brainerd?s long front straight when a gust of wind almost blew him off the track. ?I was just coming into Turn One really hot at about 150 mph when the wind caught me and I lost the front end,? said Ciccotto. ?The bike slid right to the edge of the track before I caught it. It was a little unnerving.?Ciccotto recovered from the slide, but was unable to catch Buell Pro Thunder Series points leader McCarthy, who won the race aboard a Ducati 748. Thomas Montano of Berkeley, Calf. was third, also aboard Ducati. David Estock of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., rode a Buell Firebolt XB9R entered by Tilly?s Harley-Davidson to fourth place.The fifth and final event on the Buell Pro Thunder Series is July 13, 2002 at Laguna Seca Raceway, Monterey, Calif., and Ciccotto thinks a season of hard work will pay off at that event.

ray joke

–from Ray R.

NORTH TEXAS CHAMPIONSHIPS JULY 6TH– The Texas Scooter Times “Home of the Texas Style Party Drags” would like to remind everyone about the North Texas Championships July 6th (This Saturday) at Texas Raceway in Ft. Worth, Texas.Featuring Nitro Harleys with 28 Sportsman Classes for ANY Type of Harley!Live Band – Vendor Midway – Burn Out Contests- “Saturday Nite Under the Lites!” – Don’t Miss It!Gates open at 4pm – Time Trials Start at 5pm – Eliminations Start at 8pm.for more information visit www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066

Track Location: Take Business 287 exit off I-20 in South Ft. Worth. Go South about 2 miles and turn right at the top of the hill on New Hope Rd. Track is 1 mile down on the Right.

Also we would like to Remind everyone about the Conroe Swap Meet July 14th at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds. Our first show at this new location was a huge success and this ones shaping up to be better!Live Band – Doorprises – Discounted Parts – Swap Meet Bargains – Don’t Miss It !

Continued On Page 3

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July 4, 2002 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EASYRIDERS STORES BECOME HOTBIKE STORES

Happy 4th of July. Celebrate the freedom too many folks take for granted. I’m sure as bikers you’re aware that riders throughout the country fight for our rights to ride free on a daily basis. If you would like to know more check out our rights page and join the motorcycle rights organization in your area.

Let’s get to the holiday news quick. I need to get out of the headquarters and into the party mode:

EASYRIDERS STORES TURN HOTBIKE–Rumor from the streets is that Easyriders has demanded more from their licensed stores. They’ve threatened to put the stores back into the franchise mode or pull the name. According to a number of store owners the name isn’t holding its own anymore. Stockholders are upset.

Seems HotBike has offered the stores a better deal so the stores once called ER of Alburque, etc. may become HotBike of Alburque. More news will be forthcoming.

Custom Chrome Banner

Dual Disc Front End Kits for FL Softail(r) Models From CustomChrome–The perfect solution for custom bikes or converting an FX Softail(r) to aHeritage-style front end Features caliper lugs on both lower legs for dualfront discs offering vastly improved stopping power. Complete kit withchrome triple trees, fork tubes, fork sliders, slider covers (cowbells),bearing dustcovers, Timken bearings, and all necessary hardware. Availablewith chrome or polished lower legs.

Requires two stock or aftermarket 1984 thru 1999 front calipers androtors, 11/16″-bore master cylinder, special speedometer drive, axle spacersand dual flange front wheel.

09-351Kit with chrome lower legs
09-353Kit with polished lower legs
19-79916″ x 3″ 40-spoke dual flange front wheel
09-653Speedometer drive unit
92-365Axle spacer conversion set

fire

FIRES BURN CLOSE TO STURGIS–The page below when you bring it up will show some of the pictures ofthe fire near Deadwood. Deadwood still remains evacuated. Hot windsare making the fire hard to hold, but it sounds like the worst of thedanger has passed.http://www.rapidcityjournal.com/wildfire2.html

An aerial photo looks down on Deadwood early Saturday evening as fire ranges around the town. Deadwood Gulch Resort is at right and Lower Deadwood at left.(Photo courtesy of Tom Warner)A smoke plume from the Grizzly Gulch Fire could be seen for more than 100 miles and was moving over Bear Butte and Sturgis in this aerial photo taken about 8 p.m. Saturday.(Courtesy photo by Tom Warner)

A smoke plume from the Grizzly Gulch Fire could be seen for more than 100 miles and was moving over Bear Butte and Sturgis in this photo. (Photo courtesy of Tom Warner)This aerial photo was taken at 3:45 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 8, 1959, three hours after the Deadwood fire started west of the city. Deadwood is in right center of the photo, and Lead is at lower left. The 1959 fire started along the Central City-Deadwood highway at left center. (Journal file photo )

In this view from U.S. Highway 85 at sundown, the fire can be seen cresting a hilltop overlooking the town of Deadwood.(Journal photo by Dick Kettlewell)The observation deck on Terry Peak, five miles west of the Grizzly Gulch Fire, offered a panoramic view for dozens of onlookers, including, from left: Ryan Huck, 15, of Lead; Brady Maynard, 17, Deadwood: Dylan Laskowski, 15, Lead; and Casey Davis, 18, Lead. (Journal photo by Bill Harlan).

Cryil Huze

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR ROLLS INTO NEXT STAGE–We received fenders from Cyril Huze Customs this week and began the plan for shrinking the swingarm. We have also decided to attach the fender to the swingarm so it cups the tire in the old school approach. We also ordered a Huze tank to continuing the styling of the Cyril swoop.

We also bought a new welder for the headquarters, a Millermatic. We are now up to date with welding equipment for widening the front fender, modifications to the frame and gas tank. The hardwork is ahead, but we’re all over it. Watch for the shortened swingarm next week.

ATLANTA HARLEY-DAVIDSON OPEN ROAD TOUR–AtlantaHarley-Davidson 100th Anniversary Open RoadAtlanta, GA, will be held at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, 1500 Highways 19 & 41 South Hampton, GA 30228.July 19, 2002 – 19th Annual Harley Owners Group Annual RallyJuly 20-21, 2002 Open Road Tour takes place.It’s open to public 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. daily.

Atlanta Motor Speedway is approximately 30 miles south of downtown Atlanta Traveling South on 1-75, take Exit #235 (15 miles south of downtown Atlanta) to U.S. Highway 19 & 41 South and continue for 15 miles. Traveling North on 1-75, take Exit #205 (Ga. 16) and proceed west through Griffin to U.S. Highway 19 & 41 north to Hampton.

4TH OF JULY THOUGHTS–Remembering what today celebrates. I think of those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we remain free.HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE DAY.take a minute to remember that today is not just about BBQ,s and beaches.Now, back to the party…

–TBear

SONNY BARGER REPORT–Across this great country, we each express the American spirit and pride in our own way. Sonny celebrates the Fourth of July by riding to the Hollister Independence Rally.

Next week, join him and other riders in Sierra Vista, Arizona. Get all the info including maps and weather forecasts on the Meet Sonny page, which now also shows his radio and television appearances:http://sonnybarger.com/meet

His latest book, Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free, has been well received on both sides of the Atlantic. See the reviews from USA Today and the London Daily Telegraph:http://sonnybarger.com/home

You can listen to an online clip from the audio version of the book:http://sonnybarger.com/book

And there is a new t-shirt with Sonny’s picture from the book jacket:http://sonnybarger.com/store

Sonny Barger Premium Lager is on sale in Minnesota, and in South Dakota in time for the Black Hills Rally. The web site will guide you to “Where’s the Beer?” as more locations carry it. Learn more, sign up for free stuff and give us tips for retailers and distributors in your area:http://sonnybarger.com/beer

More photos of Sonny with fans and friends have been added:http://sonnybarger.com/fotoComing later this month: Sonny Barger Hellfire hot sauces and salsa, and the Sonny Barger Emergency Roadside Motorcycle Repair Kit.

THE BLOND ON A HORSE, NO NOT HORSE MAGAZINE–A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had nolessonsor prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horseimmediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde beginstoslipfrom the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, butcannotseemto get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’sneck,butshe slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally,giving up her frail grip the blonde attempts to leap away from thehorseandthrow herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot had become entangledinthestirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves asherheadis struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments awayfromunconsciousness when to her great fortune …..Bill, the WalMart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

–from Barry C.

Continued On Page 2

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June 27, 2002 Part 4

REVEALING LOVELY BRENDA CALENDAR SHOW HOST

Continued From Page 3

Puss and boots

This is a new illustration from the master Jon Towle for Bandit’s Cantina. It’s Puss In Boots, one of our sexual advice columnists.

JON TOWLE GUARDS NICK THE DICK–The master illustration of the majority of the art on Bikernet is Jon Towle. He is also the angry creator of the loser Nick The Dick cartoon series featured in the Laugh Room of Bikernet. Here’s his story:”Do you remember me telling you a few weeks back, that I was doing asearch on “google” search engine, looking to see what was out thereunder the nick the dick name, and there was some faggot dick suckingsite with the same name? Well, I wrote them with some nice attitudeconcerns at first, and they got a little pissy with me. I then made somereal time threats (’cause nick is my baby), and I just found out theytook off their site listing from google.

This makes me happy because their site will not confuse nick fans with afag-ass location. I don’t need to go into what I told them I would do,but the good thing is, it worked, as it should.

Yeah for me, and us!have a nice goddamn day.

Jon-

International Harley-Davidson MEETUP Day is Wednesday, July 24 @ 7:00PM!You’re leaders in the online Harley-Davidson community, and we’re hoping you can help spread the word to Harley Fanatics everywhere — up to 540 cities worldwide. On Wednesday, July 24 @ 7:00PM, they can meet face to face with other Harley Fanatics in their town.

See the Harley-Davidson MEETUP page:http://harley.meetup.com

Link to us to help spread the word:http://harley.meetup.com/link.jsp

MEETUPs are informal local, face-to-face gatherings – we want to create an opportunity for people who share an interest or passion to get together and talk, debate, gossip or plan something cool. They happen monthly in over 500 cities worldwide and we’ve tried to make it easy by picking some good MEETUP spots for these events, including local cafes, bars, and restaurants.

Questions, ideas or comments? Write to me – Really, I do want to hear from you:mailto:topic_czar@meetup.com

–Jen

PERFUME TERROR– Seven women have died after inhaling a free perfume sample that was mailed to them. The product was poisonous. If you receive free samples inthe mail such as lotions, perfumes, etc., throw them away.

The government is afraid that this might be another terrorist act.They will not announce it on the news because they do not want to create panicor give the terrorists new ideas.

–Kris B.

bros club banner

BROS CLUB SPORTS NEW LOGO–We support the bros club for several reasons. Their road service is designed for riders and if you need help, you be assisted by people who know how to work with motorcycles. They are also available for insurance needs.

We have also contacted a well know motorcycle journalist Dave Aldridge who will send assistance “Stories from the Road” beginning next week. For more information contact:

Liz Holt, Member Services
BROS Club North America
Emergency Roadside Assistance – Cycle Insurance
P.O. Box 3238
South Pasadena, CA 91031-6238
626-403-8104 800-547-2767(option 2) FAX 626-441-3975
mailto:info@brosclub.org
http://www.brosclub.org
AFFORDABLE ROAD SERVICE FOR RIDERSNEVER BE STRANDED AGAIN

FROM THE ANTI-MALE FILE–How does a man show he’s planning for the Future?He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

?

Hot Bike presents the White BrothersLos Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show Sponsored By Bikernet.Com– Exciting 2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set forJuly 20 -21st at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach.

The 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show set for July 20-21st at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA, is really coming together with 130 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, and featured on the Speed Channel’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets. http://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM

Exciting features at this year’s Show include an added celebrity host, legendary biker journalist Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

Brenda Calendar show

The lovely Brenda Fox.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by LA’s hottest new performance show band Powder with lead singer Ninette. If you like the well known band No Doubt with lead singer Gwen Stefani, then the talents of Powder will blow you away even further with their electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

And of course, the Calendar Bike Show Show features the most competitive Bike Contest on the West Coast with it?s prestigious new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance.

Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, the Bike Contest and all the available weekend activities online at www.FastDates.com.

See you at the Show!
Best wishes,
Jim Gianatsis

CLOSE THE BOOK ON THE NEWS–It’s time to hit the road. I hold off downing a Jack until the news is complete, since I’d never finish ranting and raving after my third drink.

We’ve got it made, being bikers, but we’ve got to be diligent and protective of our freedoms and this joint we call home. Interesting times.

Watch the site for more updates and if you can’t get enough, there’s another news column every Sunday (unless margaritas get the best of me), in the Cantina. Motorcycle Online an-all model, road test site just went subscription based due to a lack of advertising dollars. Hang in their guys.

Have a helluva weekend and ride safe, goddamnit. I don’t want anyone to become a statistic, or make a girl cry. My Afghan fighting brother thinks I’m going soft. The martial arts master thinks I hit too hard. Who the fuck knows. Ride forever–Bandit.

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June 27,2002 Part 3

DISCOVERY CHANNEL TO COVER HORSE SMOKE-OUT

Continued From Page 2

Joke

BIKERNET MEDICAL STUDIES– ? In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex.

After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex.

The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with these findings, spent $13.27 (for a Playboy, Penthouse, and a case of Old Milwaukee) and concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

–from Ray R.

Chrome Regency(tm) 58mm Performance Inverted Cartridge Fork Kits From Custom Chrome–The finest ride you ever tried!These aren’t just another gorgeous face. We call them performance forks andwe mean it! A classic case of form following function, employing the latestincartridge damping technology.

Unlike conventionalfactory forks with out-dated, rough riding damperrods as the only thing between you and a kidney belt, cartridge dampingoffers superior ride quality and adjustability to suit the load and theroad. Regency forks keep you comfortably in contact with the road like noothers!

Cartridge damping is the same technology used by World Superbike andGP Road Race Teams.They look as good as they work! Chrome forged aluminum lower forksliders have integral fender and brake mounts which eliminates the need foradd-on brackets.

Forged aluminum sliders allow for a greater chromeplating quality, and an increase in strength. The forks are designed toemulate the mounting positions of OEM sliders so all stock fenders, brakeswheels and axles bolt on with no modifications. Super huge 58mm tubes allowtremendous strength and eliminate flex associated with smaller diameterforks.

Here’s some detail features, click on the CCI banner for more information or the dealer near you:

* Flush Brake Tee and Brake Line
* Smooth Top Tree with Easy Rebound Adjustments
* Hidden Pinch Bolts
* Design by John Reed

Custom Chrome Banner

DISCOVERY CHANNEL TO COVER SMOKE OUT– Discovery Channel “officially” confirmed they will be there. The film crew will be following Billy Lane from Choppers Inc. to the event. They may also be shooting Roger Borget’s Mania bike. Don’t miss this event produced by Edge and sponsored by Custom Chrome, Inc., HORSE and Bikernet.

horse

IMPOTENT FARMER–??An impotent farmer was having trouble in bed for close to a year now andhe?just didn’t know what to do. He ate Viagra like M&M’s but it never seemedto?help.

The farmer had a couple cows that he wanted to breed,and?he went down to his neighbor farmer to ask to borrow a bull for a day.

The neighbor farmer said yes, and the impotent farmer loaded the bull into thebox of his pickup.

When he got back home he put the bull in with the cows. The cows were sureinterested in the bull, but the bull would not?go near them for some odd reason.

The impotent farmer went back to his neighbors and asked why the bull wouldn’t screw his cows.

The other farmer said “Oh sorry bout dat he gets like that sometimes, what you otta do isstick your finger there in one uh yah?cows pussy’s and rub it on hisnose.” The impotent farmer went home and tried it on the bull, and sureenough the bull got all three cows and went back for more about fiveminutes?later.

The impotent farmer was totally shocked. He went home that nightafter a hard days work in the field, and climbed into bed. His wife wasasleep next to him and he got an idea. He figured if it worked on the cowit?might work on him. So he pulled down his sleeping wife’s panties and stuckhis finger down there and rubbed it on his nose. Sure enough he was hardin?an instant. The farmer was so happy about this he just had to show hiswife.?”Honey wake up honey, turn on the light and take a look at this.”

His wifewakes up turns on the light and says “You woke me up just to show me youhad?a bloody nose.”

–from Ray R.

CHOPPERS FOREVER BIKE SHOW–After the first date was cancelled because of rain, the Choppers Forever Bike show was held at the world famous C&L Hog shop in Ft.Pierce. The weather finally held out and it turned into a decent day for a couple hundred hard core old timers bringing the special editions to the front lines for the rest of us to see.

Lou has been slicing and dicing bikes longer than any of these new whipper-snappers and I for one wanted to acknowledge this. When I approached him about having a party, he kinda like the idea, pausing a moment to consider the downside. We agreed to our tasks and who would do what. As it turns out, the damn port-a-potties were the most hassle. Remember we got rained out the first weekend and they didn’t want to give Lou his money back.Well, he succeeded somehow to not only get his money back but also a return visit with the portable toilet on the rain date.

The Christian Motorcycle Association and the Alternatives MC did a phenomenal job in helping set up, clean up and cook the burgers. Wings of Gold MC stepped up to donate the trophies and sell the cooked burgers, along with lots and lots of bottled ice water and beer. Help came from all different places, and individuals that let Lou know he was still highly thought of in our motorcycle community.

The bikes in the show were magnificent creatures. These choppers came in all shapes and motor variables; the Panheads were the hardest to judge. A pearl white ’63 up against a brilliant red ’49 in jamming hardtail frames with incredible chrome.

The People’s choice award went to the Chopfather himself, Gypsy Mike with his ever-popular ’76 Flashback shovelhead. The rainbow of steel and dreams is Mike’s baby and it’s been in heavy competition since he completed it back in ’99. He was thrilled to get that award!

Best of show was humbly accepted by Melbourne’s own, Billy Lane. Billy came riding down with twenty of his closest buds and wowed the crowds with his extremely unusual hubless “Peterbuilt” chopper. Last I heard they were heading to Archie’s Sea Breeze after the show to spend his prize money.

–Katmandu

ONLY THE BEACH RIDE WAS CANCELED, NOT THE CONCERT–In place of Beach Ride 11, FOR THE YEAR 2002 ONLY, we will be having a concert at Majestic Ventura Theater, 26 S. Chestnut Street, Ventura, California. Please see the flyer below for details. See you there!!!

All of us at the Exceptional Children’s Foundation are devastated and disappointed that the San Buenaventura State Beach in Ventura decided not to issue a permit for our largest fund raising event, the ECF Beach Ride on Sunday, July 14. Our volunteer Beach Ride Organizing Committee, ECF staff and volunteers have done everything possible to negotiate and ask for a reconsideration of the decision.

For 10 years, the motorcycle community has supported the ECF Beach Ride. Funds raised help nearly 2,000 disabled children and their families every year. Our children with developmental disabilities and acquired brain injuries have received the special care they deserve and parents got the support they needed for their disabled children. We cannot thank the motorcycle community enough for their commitment, their donation of time and money. Beach Ride helps ensure that the kids get the special care and attention they need to really thrive.

Many thanks for your support in the past and we hope you will join us in our plans for next year?s event. There will be updates on our web site at www.beachride.com. Please feel free to call us at (310) 845-8062 or (800) 696-3727 if you need additional information.

STOLEN MOTORCYCLE PARTS INVESTIGATIONThere is somebody out there I want to see rot in Hell!!!!! Sunday June 23rdat night these%^$#%^#%^$# stole the Kiljay Race Trailer, Progas Bike, PitVehicles and Tools from in front of Broke Biker in Fremont, California.

Below are the details on the parts they may be trying to sell on theinternet. Delkron 4-cam race case with 1-1/2″ raised deck, proflow oil pump,2-10 lb nos tanks 2-5lb nos tanks, PRP heads set up for right & leftcarburators, (4) super “D” carburators with three thunder jets each, B&J3-speed transmission, 10″ Goodyear slick on a carbon fibre wheel. Dyna 4000race ignition, NOS cheater solinoids, slipper clutch W/ hat, thunder crankwheels & crank pin, Jims roller rockers, 3-rail Nungesser frame, Wacker 6000watt generator, off road Go-Ped, 250 cc Honda 4 wheel ATV, Jet 1-1/2 hp aircompressor and 27 ft Black fully enclosed race trailer.

Reward on recovery!!

Stan Sheppard
650 837-8401

T-bear derby

ONE OF A KIND– I hate to be like a new father showin off pix of my kid, but CJ sure came through for me on this one!Jon Towle did the drawing for me, Big Paulie did the tattoo, Ripper did a sweet helmet airbrush job and CJ Allan just sent me this shot of what’s going out in the mail to me.

Now all I gotta do is unscrew my prosthetic leg and carve me a peg.Hmmm, now I gotta switch the panhead back from a rocker clutch back to a suicide! No, this bitch is gonna be bolted on my Road Apple. Now I gotta get another done for the old Pan or she’ll be jealous.

–TBear

Lepera Banner

MORE UPOLSTERY RECOMMENDATIONS–We used to go to TJ (Tijuana, Mexico) years ago and took our OWN THREAD since their’s is notoriously poor. Also neverleave the vehicle since they have a tendancy to stuff weeds and animal excreations under the leather.

Dealing directly with Bob LaPera or Andy Amador youwill get a uniquely designed gel sel seat made to conform to your body.

Mention my name and you’ll geta righteous price. You rid eyour D with pride and youneed an automically designed seat to make your ride that much more pleasant.

“Sometimes cheap is too expensive”!

Danny Gray made my current seat using Rolls RoyceConnoly Leather…you really don’t want to know the cost!

In The Wind
John

LOOKING FOR A DURFEE GIRDER?–If you are still looking for a Durfee girder, or know someone who is, please contact me.

–Beachesandsun@aol.com

Continued On Page 4

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June 27, 2002 Part 2

BOB KAY LEAVES BIKER’S CHOICE

Continued From Page 1

Joke

WINO JOE DA POET–RHGang, let’s all get along; I want’a live ta see this work. ZThis is my “Hi Kool” poem:

Tha pain in my knee, only hurts when I sit.
Tha poundin’in my heart,
let’s me know I’m alive.
A biker warrior
rides ta live.
A real warrior knows he has won tha war,
when he sees tha smiles of tha children.

Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

BOB KAY LEAVES BIKER’S CHOICE FOR AMERICAN IRONHORSEBob Kay will be leaving Tucker Rocky and Bikers Choice effective July 12, 2002. Bob has accepted an opportunity to become the COO of American Ironhorse. American Ironhorse, based in Ft. Worth, is a major manufacturer and assembler of custom V-Twin Cruisers. This is a great opportunity for Bob to leverage all of his knowledge and expertise.

Bob has been associated with Biker’s Choice, formerly NEMPCO, for 20 years and is an icon in our industry.

We wish Bob continued success in our great industry and, specifically, in his new leadership role with American Ironhorse.

LUNCH BREAKWhen I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park benchsobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, “Ihave a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning andthen gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly groundcoffee.”

I said, “Well, then why are you crying?”

She said, “He makes mehomemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to mefor half the afternoon.”

I said, “Well, why are you crying?” She said,”For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert andthen makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.

I said, “Well, why in the world wouldyou be crying?”

She said, “I can’t remember where I live!”

–from Bob T.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–My guess is that some of us watched Monster Garage this week, I know, Iknow, there’s some lame ass things and to some it might have looked like asales ad for WCC shirts, but in reality it’s pretty cool. I know most bikebuilders also have a car projects lying around the shop, even if it is theirdaily transport, or some crazy Hot Rod, but let’s face it, chopper guys arecar guys too.

Jesse has a few cool cars in his shop , and some of us might want to beable to show our four wheeled projects too, because they are part of whatwe are, kinda sick people that can’t leave anything alone, nor stock.

Mostof us are always looking for a project, and most times find one evenwithout looking for it or being able to afford it, we see a VW Beetle andsee a chopped top, califa windows, chrome wheels and flames, that’s the natureof a “gear head”. While reading some VW magazines (yep, I admit it, I likethose little Bugs) I noticed a couple cars built with the same ideas aschoppers, flat black, simple, flames, and lots of manual labor.After looking at the prices of stuff for those “never die” cages, more orless the whole job would cost the same as an Evo motor,got bit by the, pardon the pun, bug.

I’m going to build a chopper bug as soon as I find a cheap one, my budgetmight not be like the three thou that Monster Garage has but I don’t need thatmuch anyway….Will follow up on that one…

Without getting way off track…. Good or lame, it’s good for all of usthat motorcycle people are getting exposure on TV, even if they are doing a5.0 mustang into a lawn mower, Wink, Billy Lane, God Bill and a few othersrepresent our side of the story. Turn Yugo’s into frogs for all I care,it’s good for all of us. I would pray to see a Motorcycle Mania thing everymonth, no matter who it features…We will see in the long run.

Caribbean t-shirt

The Jack Daniels BBQ was a total success, over 300 motorcycles showed up toenjoy the free, yeap gratis, chow and to look at some cool choppers andcustoms. This event is based on a BBQ competition between several pro’s andamateurs and the public gets to taste all of the competitors cooking. Wehad a pretty big compound with several of our customers and friends showingup on their bikes. I will have some photos posted next week.

The Horse Magazine

It’s official, Discovery Channel will be filming the Horse magazine SMSO inNorth Carolina, so clean up well, and wash those bikes, who knows if youwill end up in national TV….Like I said, it’s great that The Horse isgetting the exposure….

And you heard it here first, Bourget’s is getting a Discovery bikeready….they are being filmed as we speak. There’s more stuff but can’t bereleased yet….Will keep posting when I’m 100 % sure it’s happening.

Caribbean t-shirt

With my blatant plug of this week, we have stock of our new line ChopperFreak ™ shirts and Bikernet is helping us out.It’s simple, call Caribbean Custom Cycles at 787-721-0633 or e-mail atJose@ Chopper Freak.com for your shirts, med-lg-xlthey are $20.00 each and include shipping, you can also send a money orderor check to 801 Fernandez Juncos, San Juan PR 00907. Get them beforethey become hot item tickets on TV ! But wait ….There’s more! Get afree key chain and sticker with your purchase , this offer ends by the timewe leave for Sturgis, they will be available at the Horse soon, ChoppersInc and at the SMSO.

Caribbean t-shirt

Get them thru Bikernet first……we will give 10% of each sale to MikePullin’s run for breath….How about that !!!!!(BTW I’m being totally serious)

Caribbean

Second blatant plug of the week: I have the Orange CFL that is featuredhere in Bikernet, the buyer backed out and I want to sell it.Make an offer around 30 thou and the bike could be yours, or wait 5 yearsand spend 60 grand on a bike by Jesse. I will ship it to the US and it’salready registered here, no special construction, if interested e-mail orcall at the number above. Thanks again.

Time to go, I feel like those infomercial dudes, but since I have the powerto do it…..The 4th CFL is already painted and waiting at the lift, the bikes will beheading to the docks in a week so I have to hurry the fuck up, the crew forSturgis is already set and our plans for the SMSO are rocking….Now if Icould find an old Pan or Shovel and that Bug…yeap I’ll have stuff to dountil we head over to the States……See ya next week…

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report and TV gossip extraordinaire.

PS: Brazil vs Germany Sunday morning………can’t miss the biggest soccermatch in the world !

BIKERNET LEGAL COUNSEL– Subject: Alligators & Lawyers

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp.The small one turns to the big one and says,I don’t understand how you can be so much biggerthan me. We’re the same age, we were the same sizeas kids… I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” says the big alligator, “what have you been eating?”

“Lawyers, same as you,” replies the small alligator.

“Hm. Well, where do you catch’em?”

“Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp.”

“Same here. Hm. How do you catch’em?”

“Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someoneto unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite’em,shake the shit out of’em, and eat’em!”

“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see yourproblem. See, by the time you get done shakin’the shit out of a lawyer, there’s nothin’ left butlips and a briefcase…”

–from Bob T

LOS ANGELES LEG OF 100TH ROAD TOUR–Harley-Davidson representatives including Bill Davidson, motorcycle-enthusiasts and some surprise legendary musical guests will announce the Los Angeles leg of the 100th Anniversary Open Road Tour during a special press conference today in Los Angeles. The Open Road Tour event in Los Angeles is scheduled to be hosted at the California Speedway, September 6-8.

They’ll be rockin’ the House of Blues on the Sunset StripTo RSVP for the event or for more information, contact Ryan Eichler at 312-988-2208 or reichler@webershandwick.com

Continued On Page 3

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June 27, 2002 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–TRIUMPH CELEBRATES 100 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Run For Breath Billboard
The news is hot today, the girls are sizzling, and the project bike is rolling. Due to a couple of Bikernet Readers the starving, angry artist Jon Towle has a Sportster again.

The stock market is in the pot, the world is firing into a global religious war and the bike industry is rocking as if bars are serving free beer to anyone on two wheels. I watched BlackHawk Down this week and wondered if we ever learn anything from conflict. Life is bananas. Let’s get to the news.

TRIUMPH CELEBRATES 100 YEARS–I’m not sure how they are counting the years, but congratulations just the same. They are wrapping up a cross-country run from the east coast to Pasadena Elk Lodge Parking Lot Sunday June 30th. There will be Triumph Celebrities, cake, bands and a concourse of classic motorcycles.

Cyril fenders

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR REPORT–The headquarters crew has decided on a new welder to improve the garage capabilities and weld the hell out of the FXR. We decided on a Millermatic 175. First goal is to slice and shorten the swingarm.

We have ordered finders and a tank from the ultimate designer Cyril Huze. This will not be a bold on procedure because we’ve screwed up every move we make. Now one makes fenders for little tires so we’ll need to narrow the rear fender and widen and reshape the front for the 18-inch wheel. Then we’ll need to shorten the tank because we went against the code and instead of stretching a frame we shrunk it. We traded the perfectly good chromed swingarm for a stock swingarm and it’s at the sandblasters today being stripped for the work to come. Hang on.


DEATH TOLL UP–According to some health magazine the old farts on motorcycles have driven the death statistics up. According to the article new studies show bike fatalities up 35 percent in last three years (what ever that means). Of course they blame the deaths on speeding, drinking and helmet use. We’ll look into this further.

Texas Cop

Carla sent us a shot of a Texas Ranger on duty.

LOS ANGELES TIMES CLUB REPORT–This is one of the most disturbing aspects of the Code of the West. The first rule is “I shall not snitch.” So what did we see in the Times the other day, but a member of a club decided he didn’t like the life, so instead of gracefully going about his business, he turned snitch. “Federal and state authorities capped a two-year investigation into an international motorcycle club Tuesday by arresting 12 people in four counts on suspicion of drug and weapons charges, officials said. The investigation centered on a member of the Vagos motorcycle club who secretly cooperated with authorities, using government money to buy illegal firearms and drugs, said Jeffrey Ferguson, an Orange County Deputy district attorney.”

V-ROD TOURING PACKAGENext year you’ll see a variety of V-Rod models and even more parts and accessories. This is the new detachable Touring Windshield for the VRSCA V-Rod, which allows you to tour the open road with plenty of wind protection and minutes later, cruise town without it.

For more information about V-Rod Accessories check their web site.

BAD KIDS MC–Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.His birthday was coming up and he thought this was agood time to tell his mother what he wanted. “Mom, I want abike for my birthday.” Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker.He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Leroy’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get abike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy’smother, being a Christian woman, wanted Leroy toreflect on his behavior over the last year. “Go to your room,Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for yourbirthday.” Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat downto write God a letter.

Letter 1:Dear God:I have been a very good boy this year and I would like abike for my birthday. I want a red one.Your friend, Leroy

Leroy knew that wasn’t true. He had not been a very goodboy this year so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2:Dear God, I have been an “OK” boy this year. I still wouldreally like a bike for my birthday.Leroy

Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So he wrote athird letter.

Letter 3:God, I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am verysorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for mybirthday. Please! Thank you, Leroy

Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going toget him a bike. By now Leroy was very upset. He wentdownstairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Leroy’smother thought her plan had worked as Leroy lookedvery sad. “Just be home in time for dinner,” Leroy’s mother toldhim.

Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner. He up to the altar. He looked aroundto see if anyone was there. Leroy bent down and picked up astatue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran outof the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his roomand sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy beganto write his letter to God.

Letter 4:God,I’VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN,SEND THE BIKE.

Signed,YOU KNOW WHO

–from Redhorse

Pictured in photo are l – r Harry B. show coordinator, Kenny S. owner,Harlan B. driver and J.R. sales

THE KING OF BAD ASS RIGS JUST HIT THE ROAD!–Almost 80 feet and 80,000lbs of Mean Steel and Wheels from SAMSON are Here!

Move over rover, the days of mellow roads are over! Brand new and state ofthe art PETERBUILT, Samson Exhaust has just unleashed its new show and tourrig for 2002. This evil, red and black baby is going to conquer wherever ittravels. Sturgis, Daytona, Indy and any town where bikers chill better poursome more concrete on their bad streets for this SAMSON truck and MotleyCrue of SAMSON crew.

Please visit www.SamsonUSA.com for the ultimate Internet experience.Samson Motorcycle Products, Inc.3818 E. Coronado St. Anaheim, CA 92807(800) 373-4217

Samson

H-D AND EBAY AGAINST TOM–I just received an email from Harley Davidson concerning an ebay auction Ihave been running. While I can certainly appreciate a Corporation protecting it’scopyrights and logo’s from other businesses, this is a little overboard.I’m not quite sure what the threat to them is….I thought this was America.I didn’t realize it was illegal for me to use the term “Fatboy” to describemy motorcycle.

Tom

Dear eBay Seller:

The motorcycle which is the subject of this auction is neither a HARLEY-DAVIDSON nor a FAT BOY motorcycle. Consequently, it may not beoffered to the public using those terms.

In order for any motorcycle to be referred to or represented as aHARLEY-DAVIDSON (or FAT BOY) motorcycle, it must fulfill both of thefollowing conditions:

1. It must have been initially assembled in its entirety byHarley-Davidson Motor Company; and

2. It must be equipped with three critical components installed byHarley-Davidson during the motorcycle’s original manufacture (or withgenuine HARLEY-DAVIDSON replacement parts for such components): theframe,the crankcases, and the transmission.As you are aware, your motorcycle was assembled in its entirety bysomeoneother than Harley-Davidson, using a frame also made by someone other thanHarley-Davidson. Consequently, while you may make reference toHarley-Davidson in the description of the auction with respect to anyspecific part or parts (if any) which actually originated withHarley-Davidson, you may not refer to the overall motorcycle by either ofthe terms “Harley-Davidson” or “Fat Boy.”

You are required to remove all references to Harley-Davidson and Fat Boyfrom the title and subtitle of this auction, and from the descriptionexcept as described above. In order to effect these changes, it will benecessary for you to withdraw your auction and relist it in the “Custom”category. You should be aware that merely listing a motorcycle in the

“Harley-Davidson” category on eBay automatically inserts”Harley-Davidson”into the title.

Please note that if you do not make the required changes voluntarily, itwill be necessary for Harley-Davidson to ask eBay to terminate theauctioninvoluntarily, which could affect your ability to trade on eBay.Please notify me when the required changes have been made.

Judy Henslee
Trademark Manager
Harley-Davidson Motor Company

Continued On Page 2

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June 24, 2002

The GUNNY’S SACK–Suzuki Made In America

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE, orvisit us on our website at

The GUNNY’S SACK

I gotta tell ya about the National Coalition Of Motorcyclists (NCOM) Convention in NewOrleans this May. It was one of the best ever, especially for me.

I was a recipient of one of the “Silver Spoke” awards given to various people each yearfor their contributions to the motorcycle world over the years. I was, and am, honoredand still in disbelief. I may be the recipient, but you folks are the reason ithappened. There is no way for me to describe what it does to a person when their peersfeel they have done good works and tell you how they feel. Thank you all.

There were a near-record 1,100 attendees from all over the biking world. We had seminarswhich included information about some of the lawsuits and other actions our A.I.M.Attorneys are involved in around the country, all for the benefit of bikers. We had arepeat performance of something we did last year: A mock-legislative session, to teach ushow to work a bill through a state legislature. We were also updated on issues coming atus from across the big pond.

There are many more things coming at us even here in this country that are of far moreconcern to us than the laws that require us to wear a hat when we ride. Mandatory “endof life” for vehicles, and emission standards and controls that will eventually do awaywith the air-cooled motorcycle engines many of us enjoy today. Can anyone name a popularbike manufacturer known for their air-cooled motors, and who just released aliquid-cooled version of their future platform bike?

Standardization of motorcycle attire from one end of the world to another is anotherbright idea some person has come up with. And the idea of some sort of air-bagprotection still is rearing its ugly head. One such device is on the market now. And wein the states still worry about helmets. WOW! The idea of maybe having to wear anair-bag scares the hell out of me a lot worse than a stupid helmet.

For more on the NCOM Convention, go to

Here in Oregon, we still have ?Dr. Tax? as governor for a short while longer. He is nowdoing his level best to panic our people into voting for higher income taxes and at leastfifty cents more tax on cigarettes. He can’t balance the budget and we already pay someof the highest taxes in the nation. If I ran business the way he does, I’d be bankrupt.And fired.

Please folks, get out and vote. We only had a 40% turn out for this past (May) electioncountry wide. I like to think at least bikers voted in higher proportions, but I don’tknow. In Oregon there are enough RIDER ENDORSED people that had we all voted we couldhave had anything we wanted on the ballot. Think about it! EVERY VOTE COUNTS,especially when the rest of our population doesn’t bother. NUFF SAID!

NEWS BITS’N PIECES:

ROME, GA: Suzuki Motor Corp is now a bona fide made-in-America manufacturer with theopening of a $30 million factory in Georgia. They promise on time delivery of all theirvehicles. They expect to employ 150 workers full time.

WINNIPEG, MANITOBA, CANADA: The Regina Leader Post tells us that Canada now has ananti-gang law aimed at motorcycle clubs that have clubhouses in and around towns. It’scalled: Manitoba’s Fortified Buildings Act, known around the area as the “Biker BunkerLaw.” It gives the police the power to shut down clubhouses because the police decidethey are a danger to the community. Talk about NAZI’s.

HARRISBURG, PA: From the PR Newswire comes these stats: In Pennsylvania there were 20people killed in Memorial Day crashes according to the State Police investigating theincidents. In addition, there were 327 injured and 724 wrecks. All this in 4 days. ONEof the dead was riding a motorcycle. There were 5,831 speeding tickets and 268 werecharged with driving under the influence. These were just the things that the StatePolice investigated, not the whole picture. What about the city cops and sheriffs? Thisis just from one state, folks. We need to be more vigilant. We are killing our peopleon the highways faster than we can with wars.

NEW HAMPSHIRE: Officials here are considering the implementation of rider courses inorder to get or retain the right to ride a motorcycle. Driving courses are required forcars and boats, but at present bikers don’t have to. 38 other states require rider edcourses now for young novice riders, but none of them require adults to pass a coursebefore getting a license. New Hampshire is trying to make sure they will be able tooffer the courses to all 65,000 who need them before making the courses mandatory.

RICHMOND, B.C., CANADA: WOW! This just might be the tool we’ve been looking for: SaltireSystems Inc., a developer of tire pressure and temperature monitoring technology, isshowcasing a tire monitoring system for motorcycles at Refine 2002 in mid-June, in Essen,Germany. This gizmo is made for bikes, and it’s designed to warn us of sudden changes intire pressure, so we can get set for the dreaded blowout on our scooters at speed.This thing is scheduled to go on sale in the USA by the end of 2002, and be compatiblewith all rides. This here kid will be looking at that there doodad very closely.

DEARBORN, MI: AAA is at it again. They are saying the repeal of the helmet law here willincrease deaths and injuries in motorcycle accidents. Never mind that the accidents aremostly caused by fools driving cages. Never mind that car drivers will never wearhelmets, although if the AAA were right, it would save many more head injuries in caraccidents.

House Bill 4823, sponsored by Rep. Gene Dearest (R-Manchester), would remove themandatory helmet requirement for all riders and passengers 21 years of age or older, butdoes not require motorcycle riders to carry Personal Injury Protection (PIP) insurancecoverage. I hope the legislators keep their wits about them and pass this bill.

MIAMI, FL.: Well now! Seems the fight against terrorism has taken the FBI away from thebusiness of supporting the local police in their harassment wars against motorcycleclubs. Now that the FBI is going to be focused on its core mission of terrorism, I’mwondering how our state and local agencies are going to deal with motorcycle gangs,narcotics trafficking and white- collar crime? Washington State Patrol Chief Renal Serassaid. “White collar crimes don’t usually occur in just one city or one county … andthe FBI has been really helpful with that over the years.” Smaller agencies may feel more of a pinch. In Peoria County, IL, Sheriff Chuck Scaffoldsaid the FBI provides crucial support for fighting “gang” activity. The local cops arenow faced with the terrible task of keeping tabs on scooter people all by themselves.

My! If they spent more time on legitimate vehicle stops and the pursuit of realcriminals, they’d save money and do us all a lot more good.

The Horse Magazine

ATHENS, GREECE: Seems there’s a new riding hazard we can worry about: Flying spiders!According to the Associated Press (AP), a 33 year-old woman was riding her scoot when aspider got blown into her ear. Started to hurt after awhile, so the doc took a peek, andthere it was! He videotaped the little bugger inside her ear, just in case people calledhim a liar. According to the doc, the temperature inside your ear is comfy for spiders.

Let’s not let that rumor out to the Spider world!

GUNNY AGAIN: That does it for this month folks. Remember the riding season is in fullswing now and rider courses are filling up fast. Hope you can get in on one. These pearls of wisdom are part of the nationwide network of A.I.M. Attorneys and as suchare part of the protection and information they provide us. If, God forbid, you have anincident on your scoot or car, get a hold of your nearest A.I.M. Attorney for free adviceor representation. Call nationwide at 1-800-531-2424, or 1-800-ON-A-BIKE, any time 24hours a day, seven days a week.

Sam Hochberg, our local Oregon A.I.M. Attorney, can befound at 1-800-347-1106, or in the Portland area at 503-224-1106. Sam will be glad togive free advice on any motorcycle-related issue, as will any of our A.I.M. Attorneysthroughout the country. And I’ll see YOU all at the runs in the Northwest!

Keep the round side on the bottom,GUNNY, Oregon A.I.M. Chief Of Staff

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June 21, 2002 Part 4

BIKERNET REPORTER RECEIVES BOOK CONTRACT–

Continued From Page 3

Sasha completed final negotiations with Kensington Books for a March 2003 launch date: Our New York correspondent has landed a contract to produce a coffee table book on women who ride. She is an incredible writer and we look forward to it.

Bikerlady
Sexy Powerful Free
and in control of her destiny. . .
on the road and in life

A celebration of women motorcyclists worldwide! www.bikerlady.com/bookCheck out the website for more info.

BUELL FIREBOLT SCORES FIRST NATIONAL ROADRACE VICTORY–Eric Wood Tops Formula USA Sportbike Field at 79th Annual Loudon Classic.

Loudon, NH (June 16, 2002) – Eric Wood rode the new Buell Firebolt XB9R to its first national roadrace victory in the Formula USA Honda Pro Oils Sportbike final held at New Hampshire International Speedway. The race was Wood?s first outing aboard the Kosco Buell/Innovative Motorcycle Research Firebolt, and the first appearance of the team in the highly competitive horsepower and weight restricted class.

?This was a great start for the Firebolt,? said Wood, of Mansfield, Mass. ?We just got this bike two weeks ago and ran a club race last weekend to warm it up. The Firebolt has a lot of potential and we?re only going to get stronger as the season goes on.?

Facing a 45-bike field filled with Suzuki, Honda, Yamaha and Kawasaki riders, Wood was running a strong second when race leader Scott Greenwood (Suzuki) faltered on lap 19 of the 20-lap feature. Wood stormed into the lead and beat Suzuki riders Michael Barnes and Larry Pegram to the checkered flag.

?The Buell?s tractability and drive off the corners really worked for me at Loudon,? said Wood. ?In some turns I was able to put the Buell in places where the four-cylinder bikes couldn’t go. The Firebolt has the chassis dynamics of a Grand Prix bike, and the smooth power delivery of the V-Twin engine was really easy on the back tire. As the race worn on, I think my tire was holding up better and I was able to pull away from the field.?

BIKERNET MARRIAGE COUNSELING A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend a fortune.

“Well,” said the clerk, “I have a very large bullfrog. They say it’s been trained to give blowjobs!”

“Blowjobs!” the woman replied.

“It hasn’t been proven but we’ve sold 30 of them this month,” he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it’s true…no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy’s ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

“What are you two doing at this hour?” she asked. The husband replied, “If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone.

–from Nuttboy

FLAT TRACK CHAMPIONSHIPS–On the night of the 27th of July. AMA & Progressive Insurance are putting on the U.S. Flat Track Championships. This is a half mile event. It will at Lowes Motor Speedway’s half mile dirt track.

–Paul

AAA IS AT IT AGAIN, SUPPORTING HELMET LAWS IN MICHIGAN– They are saying the repeal of the helmet law here willincrease deaths and injuries in motorcycle accidents. Never mind that the accidents aremostly caused by fools driving cages. Never mind that car drivers will never wearhelmets, although if the AAA were right, it would save many more head injuries in caraccidents.

House Bill 4823, sponsored by Rep. Gene Dearest (R-Manchester), would remove themandatory helmet requirement for all riders and passengers 21 years of age or older, butdoes not require motorcycle riders to carry Personal Injury Protection (PIP) insurancecoverage. I hope the legislators keep their wits about them and pass this bill.

That’s one reason we support the Bros Club.

weers beach

CRAZY HORSE DOES LACONIA–One of the wonderful aspects of the web is that we’re not confined when it comes to space. We can bring you more than one report on any given subject or event. Rogue’s Laconia report is up, here’s the Crazy Horse saga and shortly we’ll post T-bear’s sharp shots and his excuse of a story. You get three views on the third largest bike event in the country.–Bandit

I’m back. It was a wild and definately weird 11 days that involved 3 crazywomen ( 2 are me and Angie) ex boyfriends, new boyfriends, a vicious motherand daughter battle in Hershey Park, rainstorms, mud, drunks of all kinds,tons of bikes and cops, tumbling motorcycles, more mud, twisted goings on inthe no-tell motel, helicopers, new friends, old friends, court battles ofall kinds, more drunks, a broken heart (mine, my ’66 mustang was officallydeclared dead) and many, many miles of riding.

I was so sore from riding. I swear it was the riding that did it. Actually I was walking kinda funny. I’ve skied in Colorado 10days and didn’t get that sore. I can’t wait to count the gas slips so I cansee how many miles we rode ( speedo not working). Rode the Katamagus highwaytwice. Angie’s new boyfriend is a riding mutherfucker. He rode up to Laconiain a downpour and rode back in a rainstorm. We were a motley crew. I can’twait to see the pictures.

The cops left me alone, but they harassed nearly everyone else. Thehelicoper surveillance was a bit much. The Christmas Island Resort where westayed was the best. Burnouts and parties out front all night long, pristinelake and privacy out back.

I’ve got about a million e-mails to slog through, customers have put mypicture on their dartboards, the dog is fat as hell and needs walking, myhead is still fuzzy, and this place is a mess!! I need a vacation.

–Crazy Horse

URBAN LEGEND OR WAKE-UP CALL– ?This could be nothing more than an urban legend, but…Bob Renkes of Petroleum Equipment Institute is working on acampaign to try and make people aware of fires as a resultof “static” at gas pumps. ?His company has researched 150cases of these fires. ?His results were very surprising:

1) Out of 150 cases, almost all of them were women.

2) Almost all cases involved the person getting back intheir vehicle while the nozzle was still pumping gas, whenfinished and they went back to pull the nozzle out the firestarted, as a result of static.

3) Most had on rubber-soled shoes.

4) Most men never get back in their vehicle untilcompletely finished. This is why they are seldom involved inthese types of fires.

5) Don’t ever use cell phones when pumping gas.

6) It is the vapors that come out of the gas that causethe fire, when connected with static charges.

7) There were 29 fires where the vehicle was reenteredand the nozzle was touched during refueling from avariety of makes and models. ?Some resulting in extensivedamage to the vehicle, to the station, and to the customer.

8) Seventeen fires that occurred before, during orimmediately after the gas cap was removed and before fuelingbegan.

Mr. Renkes stresses to NEVER get back into your vehiclewhile filling it with gas. If you absolutely HAVE to get inyour vehicle while the gas is pumping, make sure you getout, close the door TOUCHING THE METAL, before you ever pullthe nozzle out. ?This way the static from your body willbe discharged before you ever remove the nozzle.

As I mentioned earlier, The Petroleum EquipmentInstitute, along with several other companies now, arereally trying to make the public aware of this danger. ?Youcan find out more information by going to. ?Once here, click in the center of thescreen where it says “Stop Static”.

MANDATORY RIDER TRAINING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE– Officials here are considering the implementation of rider courses inorder to get or retain the right to ride a motorcycle. Driving courses are required forcars and boats, but at present bikers don’t have to. 38 other states require rider edcourses now for young novice riders, but none of them require adults to pass a coursebefore getting a license.

New Hampshire is trying to make sure they will be able tooffer the courses to all 65,000 who need them before making the courses mandatory.

For more on motorcyclist rights and legislative news go to the Bikernet Rights Page.

FRIDAY MORNING APOLOGY– I blasted back to the headquarters after my crash course in fuel injection mods and feebly attempted to complete the news to no avail. I was toast and Layla and this nasty blond were buzzing around me as if I had abandoned them for a week. I ordered a jack on the rocks and a burrito for dinner. I got the Jack but with stale Chinese food. I couldn’t seem to muster the energy to buckle down and finish the news, so here it is. Don’t ask me what I did last night.

I’ll work on a Springer technology piece that involves rake and trail today. We should launch another Amazing Shrunken FXR piece today and a fresh Digital Discover piece in the Cantina. Then I’ll sneak out to the garage and fix the master cylinder on the Touring Chopper. It’s a Hurst unit and has a Teflon piston. I suspect that the DOT 5 fluid makes it swell and begin to bind in the master cylinder body. This is the second or third time that I’ve been forced to trim it with wet and dry, replace the o-ring and peel out. Have a helluva weekend and don’t forget sex. Where’s Sin? I love to celebrate another completed deadline.–Bandit

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June 21, 2002 Part 3

LEARNING FUEL INJECTION–

Continued From Page 2

Custom Chrome Banner

I’m daft when it comes to fuel injection and even moreso after listening to Mark, the man who developed the Dyno-Jet Dyno and has now developed the DFO, Digital Fuel Optimizer for RevTech. This particular unit varies the the pulse length of the injectors and does not fool with the timing. Over 4,000 of these units are on the market now and will allow each owner the flexibility to massage as you make more changes or modification to your bike’s performance package.

According to Mark they will work equally well on the ’97 to ’99 Morali units and fuel injection systems on later model bikes.

AMERICASRIDE–Bandit, I met with the chairman of this last night. They are really goingto make this happen and have some serious players coming to the table tosupport the cause. This is the charity that this ridebenefits: www.wtcmf.org – the World Trade Center Miracles Foundation.Mitch is extremely well connected and a giant biker teddy bear of a person.

There’s a bunch of Harley dealers involved now and the interest is explodingall over the country. The media is swarming all over it too, but this guyMitch is so cool he ain’t about being a hound, ya know. He’s in check withtheir requests and refuses to speak from a political POV because since he issupporting the workers and victims directly with no middle man, you canimagine the media is all over this, especially since he’s created a fund tohelp the folks that have gotten deathly sick from inhaling the toxins. Man,he’s paying these people’s rent because they can’t get government $$…www.americasride2002.com.

I’m going on the run. It’s such an amazing cause. I’ll tell you moreabout my visit to Ground Zero the other day…do you know that 2/3 of theworkers from Ground Zero ride motorcycles. There are Harley stickers andt-shirts everywhere down there.Check it out..

–Sasha

SIR GALAHAD–King Arthur was in Merlin’s laboratory where the good wizard was showinghim his latest invention. It was a chastity belt, except it had arather large hole in the most obvious place. “This is no good, Merlin!”the king exclaimed, “Look at this opening. How is this supposed toprotect m’lady, the Queen?”

“Ah, sire, just observe,” said Merlin. He then selected his most wornout wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it inthe gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotineblade came down and cut it neatly in two.

“Merlin, you are a genius!” said the grateful monarch. “Now I canleave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.”

After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon hisQuest.

Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately heassembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop theirtrousers for an informal ‘short arm’ inspection. Sure enough, each andevery one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All ofthem, except Sir Galahad.

“Sir Galahad,” exclaimed King Arthur. “My one and only true knight!Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in mypower to grant you? Name it and it is yours!”

But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless

–from Ray R.

BARNES DOMINATES BUELL LIGHTNING SERIES RACE AT LOUDON–Florida Racer Scores Third Consecutive Victory in Buell Spec Series

Loudon, NH (June 16, 2002) – Michael Barnes rode his Kosco Harley-Davidson/Buell-Innovative Motorcycle Research Buell Lightning X1 to an easy win at the Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories, event at New Hampshire International Speedway. The victory gives Barnes a three-race sweep of the eight-race series so far this season.

?We?ve had a great set-up on the Buell that we developed at Loudon last year, and we?ve hardly touched it since then,? said Barnes. ?This is a real rider?s track and I was just able to attack it really hard. (Team owner) Rich Cronrath gives me a great bike.?

Barnes and his fuel-injected Lightning X1 dominated all weekend. In qualifying on June 15, Barnes set the pace in pouring rain with a best lap of 1:28.406 seconds over runner-up Harley-Davidson/Buell of Frederick rider Bryan Bemisderfer of Greencastle, Pa., who recorded a best lap of 1:30.551 around the bumpy, technical road course.

THE REDNECK– A redneck walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Budweiser andsits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the barand orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a mug goes flat after Idraw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The redneck replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is inAustralia, the other is in Dublin, and I’m here in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way toremember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The redneck becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders just two mugs. All the regulars takenotice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “Idon’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”

The redneck looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just thatmy wife had us join the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking…Hasn’t affected my brothers though.

–from Chris T.

??? Hot Bike presents the White BrothersLos Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show Sponsored by Bikernet.com Exciting 2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set forJuly 20 -21st at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach.There’s lot’s of exciting new things happening for the rapidly approaching 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show produced by Gianatsis Design and set for July 20-21st weekend at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA. The Show is really coming together with 120 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets.

Show producer Jim Gianatsis is excited to announce that sponsor Performance Machine, the world’s leading manufacturer of motorcycle braking, control and wheel systems, is providing the exciting new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy for the Calendar Bike Contest featuring and engraved brake caliper and disc mounted in a billet machined alloy base stand. This annual trophy is destined to become the premier award in the industry to strive for by America’s top bike builders.

And of course, the Calendar Bike Show Show features the most competitive Bike Contest on the West Coast with it?s prestigious new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance.

Nicki

And one of the models will be Miss Great Britain Nicki Lane, who the weekend before will be one of our official SBK FastDates.com Girls at Laguna Seca World Superbike. Other models scheduled to appear include beautiful Bonnie-Jill Laflin featured in a the current July 2002 issue of FHM magazine in a 5 page pictorial, and FastDates.com Calendar girl and Perfect 10 magazine model Taylor McKegney.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning. Show activities all weekend will be hosted by motoscribe Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by LA’s hottest new performance show band Powder who will blow you away with their electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

The Art Exhibit— A couple is attending an art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.

As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, “Can I help you with this painting? I’m the artist who painted it.”

The man says “Well, we like the painting but don’t understand why you have 3 African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have a black penis.”

The Irish artist says, “Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They’re not African men, they are Irish coal miners, and the one in the middle went home for lunch”.

–from Nuttboy

Continued On Page 4

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