My life is usually peaceful. I tweak on the bikes at Bikernet, tweak on my own, drink a little beer and watch television. Ever since Bandit broke up with his last wife, I decided to avoid the pitfalls of life and stick to myself. This particular day at the Bikernet headquarters was a perfect example of why my selfish decision was justified. Bandit volunteered to install the new Holly carburetor from Screamin’ Eagle on Brenda Fox’s new Deuce. Ms. Fox works at Bartels’ Harley-Davidson in Marina del Rey when she’s not modeling or performing promotional miracles for various companies. I’ve seen Bandit ride with her and there aren’t many people who care to keep up with the big bastard, but Brenda does. Anyway, she’s determined to make this sucker into the sleek chopper she’s always wanted. For those who think only rich cats can afford new H-D’s well, check this: She shares an apartment, pays a lot of doctor bills, has a junk car and is just a working chick in a dealership. This bike is her baby, her life. Sure, she scored a deal, but she’s still a workin’ chick who managed to afford a new scoot. Now, back to my example of how downright distracting, disturbing and tumultuous Bandit’s life can be. It was slightly overcast in the San Pedro Harbor when Markus Cuff, the photog, rolled in to take these shots. Still early, this long-legged blond storms the gate looking for Bandit. She’s in her early 20s and dressed to kill. She latched on to the boss and pulled him toward the house. We had three operations to handle on Brenda’s bike in a day, plus take notes for each tech and photograph each process. We needed to move. Marcus was fashioning an all-white miniature studio in the corner of our leaning garage so he could document each product. I began to loosen the Softail shocks, then was told to leave them alone. I got a cup of coffee and kicked back while Marcus shot each product. First there were lower shocks, then the Rip Saw Samson Exhaust system, then the Holly carburetor kit. Before kickin’ off the tear-down, Markus, the scrawny film master dressed in all black, set up his lights and took a before-shot of the bone stock Deuce. The sun was cresting high noon when Bandit stormed into the garage. “Is it done yet?” he asked sarcastically. “We’re burnin’ daylight.” Finally, the shots were taken and we went to work removing the shocks and replacing the exhaust system. But with each delicate task, another woman arrived and drug Bandit into the Bikernet headquarters. There was one striking, dark-haired girl who seemed to glide along the pavement. She was of medium height and didn’t have gigantic boobs, but she had a sense of poise about her which drew my attention and distracted the big guy. I finished with the shocks and was dismantling the exhaust system when Bandit returned. “Snap it up, damnit,” he said. “Fuck off,” I returned and finished taking off the heavy stock system. He was with me throughout the exhaust install, then just as we were about to tear into the stock carburetor, Brenda arrived. She’s a bundle of energy, seemingly bounding off the walls. She was on her way to Palm Springs Bike Week when she jammed into the headquarters to lasso Bandit for what I don’t know, and he disappeared again. When he returned, the CV carburetor had been removed along with the stock manifold. We carefully set these components aside and not in the shit can. We would need some of them before the operation was over. The factory instructions call for removing the negative lead to the battery. In this case, it’s not a big deal, but still advisable. Here’s the disassembly deal: Remove the stock air cleaner, carburetor and intake manifold. See Photo 1. Remove the stock choke assembly from the stock carb (you’ll need it) and set it aside. See   Take the MAP sensor off the original manifold and attach it to the new one. Install new intake seals to the intake manifold. Connect the vacuum hose to the fitting on the manifold and the electrical connector to the MAP sensor, if present.   Install the intake manifold to the heads, but just finger tight. We quickly discovered that a shortened allen wrench would be beneficial to the operation. So we cut one down for use on the left side of the bike. The other side was best handled with a long allen with a ball end and a small box end wrench for leverage.   Disassemble the stock enrichener cable assembly. Remove the enrichener valve, spring, plastic nut, 90 degree elbow, hex nut and star washer from the cable.   Pick up the new cable from the kit and install the star washer and hex nut just removed from the existing assembly (I already had this stuff on the new cable). Install the rubber boot over the straight steel cable guide. Install the original plastic nut and spring along with the new enrichener valve. This is a simple operation, but be careful not to mix up the parts. The rubber elbow seems strange, but when you have the new cable guide in place it will straighten out the boot. It all slips into place. Slip and screw in the new cable assembly into the back of the carb body. Install the new gasket. There are two gaskets; match up the one you need and slip the carb into place with the three allen bolts. Don’t tighten them past snug at this point because ultimately the carb will come back off. Use a long allen wrench.   Now comes this convoluted plumbing and hardware system. It’s simple once you get the hang of it, so here’s the score: Place a large ID washer over each banjo bolt and slip it through the holes in the mounting bracket, then place a second large ID washer over each banjo blot to seal the plumbing. Place the breather manifold over the banjo bolts with the hose fitting on the manifold toward the rear of the bike. Place the remaining two washers over the breather bolts. On Twin Cam engines, the last washers will have small IDs. While holding the assembly together, insert the banjo bolts into the tapped holes in the cylinder heads. Tighten each bolt a little at a time until the assembly is loosely held in place.   Take a step back from the carb and marvel at your accomplishment, and wonder if you couldn’t just eliminate all that crap. You can’t, so keep moving. Find the 90-degree nipple hose fitting and screw into the backside of the air cleaner backing plate. Be careful not to over tighten. The hose fitting should be pointing toward the back of the motorcycle after installation. If it’s loose when you get to that position or too tight to make another revolution, take it out and wrap it with Teflon tape. Install the backing plate gasket to the front of the carburetor using three studs. Align the backing plate to the bracket by installing the two flat head screws to the mounting bracket. Again, don’t tighten that sucker. You are actually aligning the entire assembly before tightening it all down. Ultimately, the carb body will have to be removed to allow you to tighten the intake manifold.   Finger tighten the banjo bolts (installed into the heads) to align the carburetor back plate and intake manifold. Making sure everything is aligned, tighten the left side of the intake manifold bolts to secure the manifold in position. Now the dress rehearsal is over. Remove the backing plate, mounting bracket, manifold breather tube and carburetor assembly, then tighten the right-side intake manifold bolts.   There is one more operation before bolting the sucker entirely back together. It may sound easy, but this was the toughest part for me. You have to route and connect the throttle cables to the carburetor throttle wheel. The trick is to make sure you have the right cable going to the correct side of the wheel. Remember the push/pull system, so operate the throttle on the handlebars to determine whether you are working with the proper cable. You will need to loosen the adjustment under the throttle housing on the bars for some slack. I had a hard time routing the pull cable end into the wheel. You need to open the butterfly to make this happen. The push cable fits easily. Find the cable bracket and insert the cables. Then roll the pointed end of the bracket onto the top of the carb body and into place. Install the bracket onto the carb body and torque the allen screw to 3-5 foot pounds. Now smear grease on either side of the carb gasket for a secure seal. Install the carb with the three allen bolts and tighten to 10-12 ft-lbs. Readjust the throttle cables to factory specs. I may have caused the pull cable to bind under the tank, so be careful that the cables don’t catch. Check the throttle to make sure it’s operating properly. Look down the throat and make sure the carb butterflies are opening and closing, not sticking or binding. Install the fuel line. You may want to take the protective sleeve off the old line and use it on the new one. Secure each end with a 3/8-inch hose clamp. On either side of the carb body is a mid-range adjustment screw. Turn it in until it bottoms and back it out slowly two turns. It should be adjusted to go. Loctite the banjo bolts and put them into place with the manifold breather tube, bracket and bolt assembly to the cylinder heads. Reinstall the carb-to-backing plate gasket and backing plate to carburetor and mounting bracket using two flat-head screws and three 1/4 studs. Tighten all five fasteners 3-5 ft-lbs. You don’t need to seal this gasket with grease or any adhesive. Tighten the manifold breather tube banjo bolts to 10-12 ft-lbs. Attach the short end of the manifold breather hose to the 90-degree fitting on the backside of the backing plate and secure with 3/8-inch hose clamp. Cut the long end of the manifold breather hose to correct length, connect it to the manifold breather and secure with clamp. Install the air filter to the backing plate and secure with three Button-head screws. Tighten to 3-5 ft. lbs. Apply Loctite (blue) to the threads of the cover screw removed from the original air cleaner and install cover using screw and washer.   Secure the choke knob, tighten and adjust to factory specs.   We cleaned the bike and made sure the pipes were free of fingerprints. Then we fired her to life. The fleet center guys told us that we could see gains of 60 to 72 horses and 70 to 82 pounds of torque. We called Walter from Bartels’, who watches out for Brenda. Bandit asked him to check over the installation and remove the EPA canister, which was no longer needed, to clean up the plumbing on the bike.   The bike seemed to run fine out of the gate. If you do have a problem, the idle mixture screws on the sides of the metering block can be adjusted. The correct adjustment should fall between half and three turns out from bottom. If it doesn’t perform well there, you may need a new slow jet. The main metering jets can also be swapped from the standard #58 to #62 to richen the mixture. So that’s the story. It wasn’t until we were taking the final shot that Bandit returned to the garage. He seemed drawn and tired, his hair a mess. Brenda slapped him on his ass and dashed out the gate. He looked over the bike and nodded a quiet approval, then pulled a pewter flask from his back pocket and downed a healthy swig. He sat hard on the shop stool and took a deep breath. “Helluva day men,” he said. “Nice work. I’m buying tacos and tequila for dinner.” Just then, a tall Oriental bombshell in short shorts stepped into the garage. Her plump tits tried to escape her top as she tapped Bandit on the shoulder. “I need to see you inside,” she said in a voice that would melt chrome off the new Samson exhaust system. Out of nowhere, Bandit seemed to snap out of his earlier doldrums. “You guys go to the harbor and order for me. I’ll be right down,” he said as he turned and followed the legs that have made good men bad, and pure men, sin. That’s the last we saw of him. –Wrench

Back to theGarage….
 

Compiled and Edited by Bill Bish, National Coalition of Motorcyclists

NCOM CONVENTION…A TESTAMENT TO UNITY

Tensions were running high within the motorcycle community in the waning weeks prior tothe 17th annual NCOM Convention, May 9-11, but despite the cancellations orover-patrolling of numerous biker events around the country in the wake of recentbloodshed, patch holders and motorcycle rights activists descended on the Radisson Hotelin New Orleans in near-record numbers for a weekend of learning, sharing, networking andunity.

“This shit has got to stop,” exclaimed one Confederation of Clubs chairman about theoutbreak of violence, drawing a standing ovation from the crowded Patch Holders Meeting.

J.W. Rock of the Bandidos M/C and chairman of the Confederation of Clubs of Central Texasread a prepared statement during the meeting:

“We the Confederations of Clubs, now organized for patch holders in 39 States and twoCanadian Provinces, do hereby reaffirm our support for the principles of NCOM and themotorcyclists’ rights movement. As members of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists,the many autonomous Confederations of Clubs support NCOM’s efforts to have allmotorcyclists become more involved in our government, more active in the preservation ofour Liberties, and more dedicated to the Unity of all motorcycle organizations.”

Although law enforcement was abundant, it was not oppressive, and the only violencereported was about 10,000 crawdads that got their tails shucked and their heads sucked ina local park at the Freedom Fighters’ Crawfish Boil hosted by ABATE of Louisiana onFriday night.

Many problems are solved and friendships forged during the social activities at the NCOMConvention, but the weekend is structured around Seminars such as Computer Privacy & theInternet, Women in Motorcycling, Is Your Bike Headed to the Scrap Heap?, and theever-popular Mock Legislative Session; and Meetings like the NCOM Board of DirectorsMeeting, the NCOM Legislative Task Force Meeting, the A.I.M. Attorneys Conference andother Regional and special interest meetings; where centuries of combined knowledge arefreely accessible.

This year’s Convention was dedicated to the memory of Bruce Johnson, long time lobbyistfor ABATE of Pennsylvania, who died of cancer earlier this year. In a moving tribute toBrothers & Sisters Lost, “Doc” Reichenbach, Chairman of the NCOM Board and President ofABATE of Florida, Inc., read a list of names of recently deceased Freedom Fighterssubmitted by motorcycle clubs and organizations for this special dedication. ABATE ofFlorida donated a brass bell to NCOM which was rung once for each name on the 18-pagelist, which took eight minutes to read.

But that somber note aside, the Convention seminars were thought-provoking, the meetingsstimulating and the enthusiasm electrifying!

The Silver Spoke Awards Banquet topped off the weekend’s festivities by honoring thoseamongst us who have distinguished themselves within the motorcycling community. Thisyear’s honorees were:

West Virginia State Delegate Greg Butcher – Government; Ohio A.I.M.Attorney Ralph C. Buss – Legal;

John Paliwoda, Director of the California MotorcycleDealers’ Association – Commerce;

Keith Ball, former editor of Easyriders and founder ofBikerNet.com – Media;

Special Awards were presented to “Gunny,” Oregon A.I.M. Chiefof Staff;

Curtis Clements of the Christian Motorcycle Association;

And posthumously toJohn Randolph, A.I.M. Chief of Staff with the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester.

The Ron Roloff Lifetime Achievement Award was awarded to Bill Bish, former NCOM ExecutiveDirector,

Fred Hill International Award was given to Lloyd “Animal” Rector,founder of the Organization of Responsible Bikers of Nova Scotia.

The local Louisiana newspaper, the Times-Picayune, wrapped up the weekend under theheadline, “Convention Puts Police on Alert – But Bikers In New Orleans to Learn TheirRights,” and had this to say about the conference; “While police and federal authoritiesstepped up patrols for a gathering of motorcyclists in New Orleans this weekend, thebikers themselves spent much of their time attending workshops such as ‘How a BillBecomes Law.’ Legal talk was in high gear at the convention, where seminars included’The New Terrorists Laws and Their Effect on Your Group’ and ‘How to Form a PoliticalAction Committee.’…By late Saturday, authorities said the weekend was runningsmoothly.”

Next year’s NCOM Convention will be held May 8-10, 2003, at the Four Points Sheraton inMilwaukee, Wisconsin. Call the NCOM office at (800) 525-5355 for further details.

“JAPANESE BAN BIKER GANGS” screamed the headline in the May 4th issue of The DailyTelegraph, which went on to report that the larger Japanese cities are passing laws tooutlaw motorcycle “gang” membership, even to the extent of calling for jail time formotorcyclists who wear clothes identifying “biker gang membership.” Read on for thecomplete story, by Colin Joyce in Tokyo…

Japan is cracking down on biker gangs in the latest sign of growing national impatiencewith youth crime.

Some of the country’s biggest cities have introduced laws allowing officials to ban bikergatherings or face fines but Hiroshima has now taken the extraordinary step ofintroducing jail sentences of up to six months on gang members “spreading fear” in thecity.

Hiroshima Mayor Tadatoshi Akiba hit the streets Saturday night to tell biker gangs whythe city has outlawed them.

Akiba visits biker gangs in parks and entertainment districts throughout the “Peace City”to talk to bikers about a Hiroshima ordinance that targets them.

“I want you to realize that you?re causing problems for everybody,” Akiba said to onebiker, explaining that it is already illegal to wear clothes identifying biker gangmembership in the city.

Hiroshima outlawed biker gangs and biker gang membership in an ordinance that came intoeffect on April 1 following violent clashes between motorcycle enthusiasts and police inrecent years. Punishments for those who violate the ordinance will not be handed outuntil May. Offenders of the draconian ordinance – simply wearing the uniform of amotorcycle gang is illegal – face a prison sentence of up to six months or maximum fineof 100,000 yen.

Bosozoku, or “violent running tribes” as the gangs are called in Japanese, are a havenfor disaffected young men. They are a common sight in Japan, ignoring red lights as theyroar through cities or blocking major roads by driving very slowly en masse.

Their powerful bikes are adapted to make the maximum amount of noise. Anyone protestingis likely to have his vehicle attacked with baseball bats or be assaulted himself.

The bosozoku, perhaps best known outside Japan from the famous animated film Akira, werebelieved to be dying out in the early 1990s. Japanese tended to view them as little morethan a noisy nuisance and gangs were allowed to run regularly along the same routesunchallenged by police.

However, tolerance has worn thin in recent years as a result of a series of violentcrimes involving the gangs.In Tokyo last year a teenager was beaten to death after being mistaken for a member of arival gang. In Nagano, central Japan, eight gang members were imprisoned last week forabducting and battering a rival to death.

BIKERS “DOWN UNDER” FACE BANS ON CLUBHOUSES

Australia is bracing to prohibit bikerclubhouses in suburbs under a State Government plan to insert a “character clause” inplanning laws, says Political Reporter Susie O’Brien in the April 23 issue of “TheAdvertiser”:

The bikie gang laws – an Australian first – would empower councils to refuse bikie clubspermission to build headquarters in suburban areas, Attorney-General Michael Atkinsonsaid yesterday.

Under the legislation, any outlaw gang involved in illegal activities would come under alegal definition of bad character.

A special clause banning building approval to those of bad character would enablecouncils to reject applications. Councils at present must accept all valid buildingapplications, irrespective of the applicants’ character.

At least four bikie gang clubrooms have been established in Adelaide. “Under planninglaws we can’t make a distinction between social clubs or outlaw bikie fortresses,” Mr.Atkinson said.

“We want to take into account the fact they are bikie gangs operating outside the law,”he said. “The laws will allow us to demolish headquarters erected unlawfully.”

The new laws will be introduced this year, but will not apply retrospectively.

Monash University criminologist Arthur Veno said a more collaborative approach wasrequired between police and gangs rather than more laws.

John Bennett, president of the Australian Civil Liberties Union, said any character-basedlaws would be discriminatory unless they applied to all people, not just bikie gangs.

DIVERSE GROUP DECRIES “SPY FILES” KEPT BY POLICE “Political activists, bikers andmasked demonstrators converged outside the state Capitol on Sunday to protest the DenverPolice Department’s collection of secret intelligence files on more than 3,400protesters,” wrote Nick Groke in a Special Report to The Denver Post on Monday, April 22,2002.

The rally, organized by the Tyranny Response Team, a pro gun-rights group, drew about 100participants, including members of the Colorado Libertarian Party, the Colorado GreenParty and several local motorcycle clubs.

“The whole idea behind the files is to intimidate,” said Robert Teesdale of the TyrannyResponse Team. “This issue affects all of us the same way.”

Denver police are allowed under law to keep intelligence files on groups and peopleinvolved in violent crime or property destruction, but they also have been maintainingdocuments on peaceful protesters.

“This isn’t a resurgence of what they did in the ’60s and ’70s – it’s a continuation,”said Latino activist Ernesto Vigil of the police files. “They never stopped.”

The American Civil Liberties Union filed suit last month against the Police Departmentover the so-called secret spy files. The ACLU is seeking access to the files for peoplewhose names are in the documents. They also want the files destroyed.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure even a successful lawsuit will solve the problem,” saidRalph Shnelvar, who spoke at the rally.

Organizers sent invitations to more than 40 local activist groups to attend the rally. Many of the motorcycle club members left after organizers warned them that two policeofficers were writing down the license plate numbers of nearby motorcycles.

“I support the Denver Police Department, but we know we’ve been targets, and it’s juststupid,” said Bill Jones, a member of a local motorcycle club.

MISSOURI BIKERS DEMAND RETURN OF PROPERTY>– A.I.M. Attorneys around the country not onlyprovide legal assistance to injured motorcyclists, but they also contribute “pro bono”legal work for the motorcycle community, and often serve as Legal Counsel for their localMotorcycle Rights Organization and for all the Confederations of Clubs. Missouri A.I.M.attorney Jeffrey Lang recently represented two motorcycle clubs in lawsuits against lawenforcement to return property seized in a raid on their clubhouse.

The Jackson County Drug Enforcement Task Force executed two search warrants. The firstwas at the club house shared by the Galloping Goose MC and El Forastero MC. While nodrugs, drug precursors, drug making apparatus or paraphernalia was located, the TaskForce assisted by the FBI and ATF confiscated club property including, but not limitedto, club pictures, plaques, flags, anything with the club colors or 1% information on it,antique slot machines and the clubs’ minute books.

Another search warrant was executed at the residence of a Galloping Goose club member. While no drugs or drug making apparatus was found, various personal items of the memberwas confiscated including but not limited to, pictures, club jackets, motorcycle partsand other pictures or clothing containing club colors or 1% information.

The club and member fought for years trying to regain possession of their property. About a year ago, out of frustration, they asked if Missouri A.I.M. attorney Jeff Langcould do anything to help. Jeff filed two lawsuits against the Task Force. One in thename of the two clubs and the other in the name of the member.

“Both suits sounded in Tort and asserted causes of action in Replevin,” explains Jeff inlegalese. “Later, after additional discovery, both Petitions were amended to include acount for Conversion, which, in addition to actual damages prayed for punitive damages.”

Early in the litigation, the Task Force returned most of the member’s property.

“We were able to serve the Task Force detective who was in charge of executing bothsearch warrants, with a subpoena duces tecum to appear for his deposition. Just prior tothe taking of his deposition, the Task Force agreed to return the bulk of property takenfrom the club house of the Gooses and El Forasteros,” according to attorney Lang.

“We proceeded with the deposition of the detective to determine the reliability of theConfidential Informants who provided information for the search warrants and any otherfacts the detective relied upon in requesting the search warrant,” Lang said.

“As of yet, we do not have a trial date, but my clients are ecstatic to get theirproperty back. There are still issues to resolve regarding firearms, ammunition and theslot machines that are still being held.”

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”Helen Keller

Continued From Page 3

HARLEY-DAVIDSON 100TH ANNIVERSARY OPEN ROAD TOUR IS A TREAT FOR EVERY SENSE: SIGHT, SOUND AND THE SENSE-SATIONAL–

One Hundred Years of Fun and Excitement Roars Across the Country.

It was a hundred years in the making and we’ll never see anything like it in our lifetime again. It’s huge (more than 25 acres), it’s truly an entertainment extravaganza (more than 12 bands on two stages) and it has something for everyone.

On the weekend of July 20-21, at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, Harley-Davidson Motor Company will officially kick-start its 100th Anniversary with the Open Road Tour: a series of gigantic weekend festivals roaring into 10 cities worldwide celebrating motorcycles, music, history and more. Once the Open Road Tour rolls to a stop in the Summer of 2003, enthusiasts can join the Ride Home, organized rides throughout North America heading to Milwaukee, for three days of celebrations and special events. The official birthday party will take place in Milwaukee on August 31, 2003 and launch Harley-Davidson into the next 100 years.

For the complete report see Special Reports on Bikernet.

BIKERNET NEW PRODUCTS–The sweatshirt was actually a gift from Helen Wolfe. The goddamn thing was so comfortable we decided to produce and sell them on the site. Check it out in the Bikernet Originals Area.

The shorts are perfect for the summer, light and comfortable. They’re available in the Crime Inc. area. Don’t miss ’em.

OFFICIAL VAGOS MC PRESS RELEASE–In response to the many news media reports linking the Vagos MotorcycleClub to the incident that occurred in Harrah’s Casino in Laughlin,Nevada, and to claims it is joining in a gang war with other motorcycleclubs, the Vagos M/C wishes to submit the following statement:

As a result of events that occurred at Harrah’s Casino in Laughlin,Nevada, during the River Run on April 26 – 28, 2002, allegedly involvingmembers of the Hells Angels and Mongols motorcycle clubs, there havebeen numerous statements published in the press attributing claims tolaw enforcement agencies that the Vagos Motorcycle Club is part of analliance formed by the Mongols and other motorcycle clubs to sideagainst the Hells Angels. If there are sides to be taken in any allegeddispute between the Mongols and Hells Angels (and the Vagos M/C does notmean to imply by this statement that any dispute exists), the VagosMotorcycle Club is not taking any side and emphatically denies being aparty to any coalition or agreement with any motorcycle organization(s)against the Hells Angels or any other motorcycle club. The VagosMotorcycle Club is an independent organization and is not affiliatedwith or a part of any alliances with any other clubs.

The Vagos M/C did not know about and was not involved in the events thattranspired in Laughlin during the River Run. Members of the Vagos M/Cwere not even in Laughlin that weekend, but were in Jean, Nevada, nearLas Vegas, approximately 80 miles away. Without intending to placeblame for the incident, the Vagos M/C feels it was tragic enough,without law enforcement agencies and so-called “motorcycle gang experts”embellishing or fabricating facts to release to the news media for thepurpose of angering or scaring the public.

For the full report see Bikernet Special Reports.

BIKERNET ENVIRONMENTAL SURVEY–A lady from California purchased a piece of timberland in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and gotmany splinters in her private parts.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened toher story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry lady demanded, “What took you so long?”

The unperturbed doctor replied, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau ofLand Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.”

–Emma

2002 Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride Across America Set to Take Northern Route–Sprint returns as presenting partner of this year’s event.

The 2002 Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride Across America featuring NASCAR celebrities, sponsors and fans will kick off on June 23, following the Winston Cup event at Sears Point Raceway in Sonoma, Calif. This year the riders will break with tradition and head northeast making stops in Jackpot, Nev.; Jackson Hole and Cheyenne, Wyo.; Omaha, Neb.; Chicago, Ill.; Cleveland, Ohio and Hot Springs, Va. The ride will conclude at the Petty Farm in Trinity, North Carolina on June 30.

“I can’t believe how much the ride has grown over the past seven years,” said Petty. “When we first started this event in 1995, it was just a few of us on our bikes. Last year 250 riders participated and we were able to raise $500,000 for various charities. This year we’re planning to take the Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride farther north than we’ve gone in the past. It will be a great opportunity to reach hospitalized children in cities beginning in California, with visits in Chicago and North Carolina along the way.”

In addition, Coca-Cola, Victory Motorcycles, High Tech Performance Trailers Inc., Daytona Harley-Davidson and others will join this year’s ride as corporate partners.

“Its great to have partners like Sprint, Victory, Coca-Cola and Daytona Harley-Davidson,” said Petty. “They truly understand the meaning of giving back to the community, and they realize how important it is to put a smile on a child’s face. It will be great to have them along for the ride again this year.”

The 2002 event marks the eighth year that Petty, father Richard, wife Pattie and other friends in and out of the racing community will take to the open road to visit children’s hospitals. Since its formation in 1995, the ride has raised approximately $2.5 million dollars for children’s hospitals, the Winston Cup Wives Racing Auxiliary Trust, the STARBRIGHT Foundation and the Victory Junction Gang Camp. The national charity of the 2002 Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride is the Victory Junction Gang Camp. Kyle and Pattie Petty founded the camp in 2000 in honor of their son Adam.

The racing-themed camp is a planned extension of the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp founded by Paul Newman. The camp’s purpose is to enrich the lives of children with chronic or life-threatening illnesses.

For more information on making contributions to the Kyle Petty Charity Ride and many other programs that it supports, contact Kyle Petty Charity Ride, Inc. at 5700 Concord Parkway South, Concord, NC, 28027, by email at info@kylepettycharityride.org or by phone 704-455-9299.

BIKERNET MARRIAGE COUNSELING–“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as hestepped out of the shower, “honey, what do you thinkthe neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”

“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

SAMSON SEEKS RIG RIDER–The president of Samson Exhaust and the chairman of the board, Mr. Samson, himself called and told us in no uncertain terms to supply him with a new big rig driver for their brand new, high dollar, luxury (from chromed exhaust pipes) Samson Rig. You’ll have to attend every major motorcycle event in the country. I know, it’s tough duty, just report in goddamnit and make it snappy. Drop me a resume and I’ll pass it on, if it’s worth a shit: Bandit@bikernet.com.

BIKERNET INVESTIGATES BIKE MAGAZINES– There’s a lot of talk on the streets about various bike magazines, but when push comes to shove, there’s a source that audits magazine circulation–ABC, the Audit Bureau of Circulation. While speaking to an industry insider, we discovered that Hot Bike and HORSE are neck and neck in the circulation game and Hot Rod Bikes is head and shoulders above both. Rumor has it that since Hot Rod Bikes was purchased by the Hot Bike Publisher that they may kill the Hot Rod to take out a competitor of Hot Bike and hope that their circulation grows. It’s been about the same for the last decade. We’ll see what happens next.

Frank Kaisler the ex-editor of Hot Rod bikes is working with several magazines including HORSE and Bikernet to bring his 30 years of technical expertise to the community. He is currently working on an article about one of the premier seat makers in the industry Le Pera for Bikernet. Watch for it.

NEW BIKERNET STICKERS–We recently took shipment of a 50-gallon drum full of a new batch of our famous Jon Towle – Bikernet stickers in various colors. No, that’s not me on the goddamn sticker. Now get this. We’ll send you a free sticker the color of your choice: Traditional red to orange flame, vibrant yellow to pink flame, or blue to purple flame. Just send us a self addressed stamped envelope to Bikernet, P.O.Box 1168, San Pedro, CA 90733, and we’ll send you the sticker of your choice for absolutely nothin, free, cheapo. The stickers are cool. First come, first served, until there ain’t no mo’.

GRAB THE KEYS AND HIT THE ROAD–People have asked why we don’t cover the club disputes more with every bullshit report that comes from a paper. They call themselves journalists who play by the rules, yet they are as slanted as a midnight drunk in a downtown bar. I was recently interviewed by 20/20 and the reporter said that they seek the truth. As he said it you could see the ultimate desire to draw scandalous bullshit out of me at any cost glisten in the saliva forming in the corners of his mouth.

I found out in New Orleans this weekend that the motorcyclists rights movement are the strongest grassroots freedom fighters in the country. We’re stronger than the NRA and more respected by legislators. So who are the enemies? It looks as though the real bad guys are the authorities, the straight media and car people who still believe that running a biker down is cool. Well bullshit, and we have people working with every capital in the country to maintain our freedoms and stand tall for us. We need to support their daily efforts.

Yep, it’s interesting times. Let’s ride while we still can.–Bandit

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BIKERNET POLITICAL HISTORY–What’s the Cuban national anthem?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

BIKERNET BIKERS RIGHTS REPORT–We are hoping to bring you more local, national and international bikers rights information in the future. You’ll discover that this is the last movement for freedom in the country and the only reason we can still ride free. Here’s a bit from South Carolina:

I manage ABATE of South Carolina’s web site and another called FastFred’s Motorcycle E-zine… both focus on Motorcycle rights… the E-zine is also an attempt to be fun to view like a biker rag.

I have an email list too that may be joined… the number of mailings vary form one per day to a couple per week: most issues are South Carolina biker related but some are national. http://www.abatesc.com/mail-list/join-list.htm.

–FastFred, fred@fastfreds.com

CYRIL HUZE FLOW PIPES–A custom exhaust is a radical way to change the look of your bike. Cyril Huze Flow Pipes will give flowing lines to your motorcycle and make it look fast even when standing still. Made out of 304 mild steel, these awesome pipes are CNC mandrel bent from 1.75″ tubing (wall thickness is 0.065″). Available for Evo & Twin Cam models. They attach the transmission side cover (bracket included). Tuned to perform. Beautifully chrome plated.

Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923

Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–As you read this we will already be in Myrtle Beach, it’s our first timethere so we will be in recon mission, Crazy Horse will join us later in theweek for some in depth reporting for The Horse, and of course, here inBikernet.

Whatever happens we will try to report as soon as possible. Wehad plans to go visit Choppers Inc, but seems like time won’t be on ourside, maybe later on before we head for the Black Hills, so we expect a 6hour trip or so up to South Carolina and as reports are showing the rallyis already a bit crowded, maybe a bit much, but hell ! We will see.

Thanks to those who are sending messages thru Your Shot, we will try toanswer all of them, and do our best.I just read the new Sonny Barger book last night, it’s a pretty quick readbut with some interesting and funny stories, it?s definitely one to buy,although I found some of the stories left you wanting to know more, maybehe left some stuff for the next one (like my story)

I know Bandit is reading it and will report on it so we might compare noteslater on.

For those who asked about my bike here are some specs:

Bourget’s Python frame, 51 degree rake, 10 inches over in downtubes, 7″overin backbone.

S&S cases and internals with STD dual plug stage 4 heads, 96 inches, pantops and shovel cases (built by me).

STD 5 spd trans with andrews close ratio, backcut gears and Primo openprimary.

52 inch Spyke inverted front end, PM 6 piston front and dual 4 pistoncalipers rear, 21 and 17 by 200 wheels and tires.

SU carb, shotgun pipes, hydraulic clutch and the seat is only 18″from theground thanks to the patented BBW oil in the frame.And some other stuff…….

Have a good week , see ya when we get back……

–Jose, Caribbean (in Myrtle Beach) Bikernet report.

PARTS DIRECT–Rumor has it this group has the best prices on the web. Check it out and let me know.

BIKERNET UPDATE ON MILWAUKEE EVENT–Veteran’s Park is on the lakefront in Milwaukee and a HUGE place for eventsand get-togethers of all sorts. If they’re having it there they expectseveral thousand people to show up.

It’s the first-annual four-day free-admission all bike national motorcyclerally starting Thursday June 6th. They’re planning a bike show/contest, atattoo contest, a Harley fashion show, a rally beauty pageant, and a fewHarley-sponsored expos. I’m sure there will be a huge HOG turnout and I’mjust as sure it’ll be a fairly tame four days.

They have some pretty good sounding talent lined up. Thursday evening isMountain, Friday night is Foghat, Saturday they have Little Feat playing,and all through those afternoons and on Sunday they have various localtalent on stage.

— “The Professor”
www.milwaukeerally.com

BIKERNET RUN FOR BREATH ACCOUNT–Here’s a brief note about a kid’s charity event sponsored by Bikernet and Harley-Davidson of Charlotte. The one-day ride and event is scheduled for July 28th in Charlotte, North Carolina.

“Mike wanted me to send you an e-mail to update you on this year’s Run For Breath. Everything is falling into place. We have a small group of dedicated volunteers who are working hard to organize the run. We have over 40 sponsors this year, the most ever. I’m sure we will surpass last year’s donation to the American Lung Association of $8,000.”

“We’re looking forward to seeing you!”For more information on the one-day Charity Ride for the American Lung Association in Charlotte, N.C., and Edge?s weekend party nearby, stay tuned. We?ll have weekly reports.

For more information call Mike Pullin at (704) 847-4647 or (704) 573-9396

BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNERS FOR APRIL–Bikernet bike show is a free, enter your own bike Web only bike monthly bike show. Check it out and enter your bike.

In The “Buell” Category
“BigMatt” Holt
Dearborn Heights , MI

In The “Competition” Category
Bean
Hartsville , Tenn

In The “Factory Custom” Category
Elliot Forseter
Chesterfield , MO

In The “Open Class” Category
Charlie Guss
Prudenville , MI

In The “Pro-Street” Category
Karl Bartling
Cape Coral , FL

In The “Radical Custom” Category
Felix (Bud) Saucedo Jr.
Lytle , Texas

In The “Rat” Category
Pettie Wheatstraw
Hartsville , TennIn The “Ridden” Categoryhacksawhamden , ct

In The “Sportster” Category
Mike Mattessich
Baldwinsville , NY

In The “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Evo
Lewisville , Texas

In The “Vintage” Category
Carl Best
Eugene , OR

In The “Vintage Chopper” Category
Tom
Selkirk , NY

2001 Custom Pro Street Motorcycle
New ? Registered ? Clean Title ? 500 Trouble Free Miles
Built By Rogue Using Top Of The Line Parts

This Motorcycle has Style and Class with Performance and Reliability built in.

The Engine is a Single Cam Evolution, Built by Accurate Engineering and comes with a 12 Month/12,000 Mile Warranty. It has Wiseco pistons 10.1:1 Compression, Andrews EV47 cam, S&S carb, Dyna 2000I single fire ignition and is black wrinkle with polished fins, chrome rocker boxes and nose cone.

The Transmission is a black and chrome 5 speed from Custom Chrome and covered under their warranty.

The black powder coated Kraftech, FXR, rubber mount Pro Street Frame sports a stainless steel oil tank and lines, chrome swingarm with chrome adjustable shocks. Front End is American Suspension Inverted with Billet Triple Trees, Halogen headlight, 16? 3 spoke mag wheel with Avon Venom X MT90B16 tire. The rear wheel is 16? 3 spoke mag wheel with Avon Venom X 160/80/16 tire.

Stainless Steel Rotors front and rear with Billet Calipers and Stainless Steel lines. Stretched Fat Bob gas tanks with Aircraft Type locking gas caps and Accel Hi-Flow petcock, full length fenders, custom paint and Aurora taillight.

Polished inner and outer primary covers with automatic chain adjuster, Rivera Pro-Street clutch and chrome Hi-Torque Starter. Wiring harness and controller by Thunder Heart with protected circuits and weatherproof connectors.

High End custom seat, chrome forward and handlebar controls,Stainless Steel hardware and much more.

HOLLISTER REQUEST–We would like to bring the very best most complete information to our readers regarding the upcoming Holister event. If you know something, send it on down.

Continued On Page 4

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BIKERNET/CCI PROJECT BIKE FOR NUTTBOY–Turn to the side and cough.

We threw the potentially radical chopper that Bandit and I have banged together up to this point, into the back of my pickup and jammed over to see the Doctor. Dr. John, the frame specialist took one look at the bike in the back of my truck and shook his head. Behind that scraggly beard and those beady blue eyes there is a wealth of experience. He’s seen a lot of biker hopes and dreams, sometimes nightmares, come through his Anaheim Hills shop. He’s managed to salvage most of them.

For more on the project see the garage or the Custom Chrome department.

MAXIM ON ALCOHOL–The mag for boys the pointed out how ridiculous it is to have “Proof” double what the actual alcohol percentage of a drink is. How’s that for lame? If your booze is 25 percent alcohol, then it’s 50 Proof.

It seems that back in the 18th century when moonshine making was state-of-the-art booze bakin’ they had to figure out a measuring system. They had no way of knowin’. To test it, they mixed gunpowder with an equal amount of that powerful liquid, the color of clear water, then struck a match to it. If it exploded, it was proof that the shit was a puissant mixture. Ultimately scientist discovered that if it popped that it had at least 50 percent alcohol which became known as 100 proof. According to their connection at the Jack Daniel’s factory, “This all happened out in the woods.”

BIKERNET DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE– Attention Southern CA Riders – Mark your calendar for May 25th… Be at the Anaheim Convention Center from 4PM-11PM to help the SRA with an all-new Sportbike Challenge Bike Show. Enter your bike or just come to see some of the best sportbikes. Awards will be given to best in show. See the SRA site for details and free passes!! Don’t miss this show… In addition to the bikes, there will be an Import Car contest and of course there will be the Super-Models.

What about the rest of the country… stay tuned… the SRA is planning to travel with this show across the country. We will keep you posted.

We released some fun and games at SportbikeS.com. Stop by and see how well you can do!

You said you could adjust a carb?

So what’s the problem officer?

When they said she was hot, they weren’t kidding.

BIKERNET FREEDOM FILM EXPLODES–with new images. If you want to see images from home or across the country the Freedom Film area is the place to go. From wild bikes to untamed women, it’s the joint to check out. Besides you can submit shots whenever you choose.

BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNER–Hey! Got a trophy and your book in the mail last night! Thanks, man!Started reading the book… I see a screenplay in there somewhere… Hey Iwant to pick your brain (or if you could direct me to other unbiased brainsto pick) about a motor choice.-Pete

Pete is looking for recommendations for engine choices: S&S, TP, RevTech, Merch. Let’s take a poll. Let me know what you’re running and how you like it?–Bandit

BROTHEL TRIP– An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

“I’m 90 years old,” he says.

“90!” replies the woman.

“Don’t you realize you’ve had it?”

“Oh, sorry,” says the old man, “How much do I owe you?”

BIKERNET HANGOUTS AND SHOPS–We’re searching high and low for shops and hangouts to share with our traveling readers. We’re about to launch all the shops in the free area of the site for your easy access.

Hell, here’s a new hangout called JAVA JUNGLE, coffee shop and surf shack, 602 Pacific Coast Highway, Huntington Beach. It’s only one block north of the pier. One warning. The cops in that coastal berg have a bad anti-bike reputation. I’ve heard of shops that moved out of the city. Watch your ass.

THE SIDECAR CONNECTION–Are you into sidecars, looking to start, bought a family and need one. There’s a publication devoted to sidecar enthusiasts called Hack’d. They are located at P.O. Box 813, Buckhannon. WV 26201, hackd@sunlitsurf.com.

They’re motto is the Magazine For And About Sidecarists and their other omen is “Remember to RIDE OFTEN and then some more”. They cover the heart of riding a sidecar, the people, the events and tech advice.

It’s just a black and white newsletter type publication, but it’s full of heart, check it out.

ARLEN NESS’S NEW SITE Yes, the man who is blamed for every expensive, high-dollar, RUB, billet part on the planet has a new web site. I always find that class bullshit to be out of whack, especially when it comes to Arlen. He started as a mailman working in his garage building bikes and fighting with Bev, his wife about joinin’ a club, like the rest of us.

He’s good people, always has been, always will be. I don’t have to like all the parts he designs, but I still respect a man who works hard every day for what he built. So check out his site, goddamnit.

CONDOR CUSTOMS RETURNS–If you love choppers, art, manufacturing talent and live in the northwest, check Condors Customs. Tim drew the original touring chopper concept illustration for my red ride. He builds bikes with a unique twist. He’s the only builder on the planet to create the ultimate flame job. He set himself on fire in downtown Seattle traffic.

“Now lately I’ve made some decisions to do with ATF that have confused andpissed off a few people. It’s also gonna make what I’m doin’ a hell of a lotbetter…. This whole gig of mine is going to be built by art.” Tim said, “

My painting and design skills have benefited a hell of a lot from this”vacation” (?) I’ve been on. Fundamental truths have been revealed to me.”Conder Customs is alive once again. Drop him a line and go check out his place. You won’t be disappointed–

theConderosa@Hotmail.com

Continued On Page 3

So how are the teams broken up? Religious terrorists against the Franchise world. Full savings against low checking account balances and club brothers against club brothers. Ten years ago someone with a high degree of intellectual property told me that the next dispute in this country would be a class struggle. Is this it?

I personally find it strange. As Americans we have always celebrated the American way. A man of little means could become the President, if he so desired. A man who has the balls to invent a better mousetrap would be celebrated for his desire and drive.

Perhaps the terrorist attacks relit the warrior flame in clubs, but on the other hand street gangs have been at it ever since bike clubs wised up. Who the fuck knows?

I like the notion of men standing up for ourselves and having our own movement. On Sonny Barger’s site there’s a poll on prostitution. Some 86 percent of the people who filed out the questionnaire called for legalized prostitution.

It’s time men admitted that sex is different to us than it is to many women and for women to think they can control us and force us to be monogamous is against the make-up of man, so legalize prostitution, deal with it and Jerry Springer won’t have a job. We better get to the news before all hell breaks loose:

Can you believe that crap? Here?s a man with no less that three women in the headquarters at all times and he wants a prostitute. Hold up, three of us and only one of him? Shit, he needs to get us one; we?re the ones waiting for a turn! ~ Sin

Tattoos Are Back!–

BIKERNET RELIGIOUS MOMENT–Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe intheir car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of thecar and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Catherine. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” saysSister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he hangs onand continues hissing at the nuns. “What shall I do now?” she shouts.

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at theVatican,” says Sister Helen. Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer.Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he still hangs on andcontinues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Catherine?

“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.

“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Catherine.

She opens the window and shouts, “Get the fuck off the car!”

–from Nuttboy

BANDIT’S CANTINA UPDATE–The Cantina is coming alive with new episodes of the first Chance book, more Soap Opera segments, another Life And Times and we’re working on something else. I swear to God. It’s on the list.

We’re also in contact with a New York agent on the Chance Hogan series, but you and HORSE readers get to see the Chapters first. Ball also wrote a book initially called “Tides” while on his trip around the world. It’s made up of 32 chapters and 156,000 words and he says it’s his best effort yet. It is based on the Chance Hogan character series.

We are editing five chapters of “Tides” for the agent and will let Cantina members get a sneak preview in the next couple of weeks.

Great Escape Rally 2002 — The Desert Road Riders are gettinggeared up for their 2002 Rally, which they hope this year to be bigger andbetter. One of the many benefit runs they have throughout the year, theGreat Escape Rally being the major fundraiser for their end of year Toy Run.Last year the club was able to give toys and food to some 400+ children andtheir families during the toy run.

NEW MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE CARRIER–This Friday, May 17th, 21st Century Insurance will introduce their motorcycleinsurance by throwing a big bash and MC parade. They are located in theWarner Center in Woodland Hills – 6301 Owensmouth, just east of Topanga. Theevent begins at 11:00 am, and they would like the riders to arrive between11:05 – 11:10.

Joyce Prager, the event coordinator, would like to cue thegroup prior to arrival via her cell phone (I have her number). They arelooking for 21 riders, and if we’re successful, ECF, the Exceptional Childrens’ Foundation, will receive a $2,100donation. The Beach Ride also sponsors the ECF.

Let’s meet at Starbucks at 10:30 a.m. – it’s on the corner ofVentura and Topanga – on the north east corner in a shopping center facingTopanga. Please let me know if you will be able to join us – either by e-mailor here at my office 310 845-8062. My cell number is 310 251-5631 just incase. Thank you all!

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THE SEAT SEARCH–I received a request from a reader about an FLH seat upolstery job:— genosurf wrote: Hi. I am looking for an outfit that re-upholsters leather FLH seats. Maybe someone can refer me to them. I want to add the gel pads as well for those long hauls on the shovel. I am located in Downey, near Los Angeles, but ride frequently to Ornage and San Diego Counties.

I suggest that the reader see the Le Pera site on Bikernet, since Le Pera does it all and features gel padded seats. Since then I received the following:

CORBIN 1-800-538-7035 The #1
Bob Lapera 818-7675110 The #2
Saddle Man 1-800-397-7709
Bar Enterprisers, Andy Amador 818-353-3888
Danny Gray Does all Arlen Ness and Jesse James seats mega bucks

Think about taking it down to Tijuana. The craftsmenthere are excellent and they’ll do it for a fractionof the price. Make sure you shop around and look atthe shops work first. They usually have samples infront of their shops. They also have great leather.MP>–Andy Anderson

MADE MY DAY–I’ve been following your reads for years. Started readin Easyrider when I was 17, sad to see it runnin into troubles. (I bought stock thinking it would be safe, wrong again.) Anyway I’m glad your still deliverin’ for us bros. I bought and read Prize Possession and Outlaw Justice way back when. Now it’s time to buy Orwell, so I can keep up with you.

I have a request though. I’d like you to autograph my copy. Is that possible? If so how do I include my request with my order? I’d like you to address it to my son. He’s 3 and a half now but he’s definately a biker. Let me know and I’ll order it right away.

Ah fuck, I’ll order it even if you won’t sign it.

Glad your back from the world crusie and even more greatful that you bounced back from the deer encounter.

Thanks for keepin the faith and deliverin the goods.

Ride free – Rascal

I wrote Rascal back and told him that I would be glad to sign the book to his kid. I’ll sign any book, just request it when ordering.–Bandit

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Another week has gone by, we are even closer to the Black Hills and therush is hitting hard, we need to get shit done by the 12th next month so wecan ship the whole thing over to the Ol ‘ USA. To top it off we are tryingto get something new for the Horse SMSO and it’s still on the drawingboard, so, we will have to super man it to be able to do it, yeap so what’snew ? I’m guessing that the bike will be a rigid and black, based on a Bourget’sframe, that’s all the info I am letting out, Bikernet will be the first tofeature the bike, that’s a promise.

By the time you read this the Desertores should be reaching Laconia intheir comfy, cd playing, full dress bikes (whimps)I wish them a safe trip and to have a hell of a time, maybe we will manageto get the true story from one of them upon their return.

I’ve heard a few more things about the Motorcycle Mania 3 show, but willwait for confirmation (unlike the Enquirer) before posting it here,remember you will get those news before anyone else. Unlike magazines weare able to report ASAP.

The Rolling Stones are on tour and we managed to score a couple tickets forMiami, Oct 23rd. It’s the week after Biketoberfest, uhmm, we might ride tothe concert, that would be fun. Would not mind riding aorund South Beacheither…..

Bourget’s Bike Works has a new web site address, it’sBourgetsbikeworks.biz, check those cool bikes out.

That’s about it for this week, anyway since there’s so many jokesaround …..This guy goes to the grocery store and gives the cashier a bag of potatochips a six pack and dip

The cute clerk looks at him and says “You must be single”

The guy says “Why, are youa genius? “

The girl goes, “Nope, because you’re fucking ugly”.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet.

BARTENDER– A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

“Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.”

“ONE CENT!” exclaims the guy.

The barman replies, “Yes.”

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?”

“Certainly, sir,” replies the bartender, “But all that comes to real money.”

“How much money?” inquires the guy.

“4 cents”, he replies.

“FOUR cents!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”

The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”

The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?”

The bartender replies, “Same as I’m doing to his business.

That’s Powder from the Calendar Show Band–look out.?

HOT BIKE PRESENTS THE WHITE BROTHERS LOS ANGELES CALENDAR MOTORCYCLE SHOW SPONSORED BY BIKERNET.COM– Exciting 2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set forJuly 20 -21st at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach

The 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show set for July 20-21st at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA, is really coming together with 130 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, and featured on the Speed Channel’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets.

Exciting features at this year’s Show include an added celebrity host, legendary biker journalist Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by LA’s hottest new performance show band Powder with lead singer Ninette. If you like the well known band No Doubt with lead singer Gwen Stefani, then the talents of Powder will blow you away even further with their electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

And of course, the Calendar Bike Show Show features the most competitive Bike Contest on the West Coast with it?s prestigious new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance. And one of the models will be Miss Great Britain Nicki Lane, who the weekend before will be one of our official SBK FastDates.com Girls at Laguna Seca World Superbike. (Nicki’s picture: http://www.FastDates.com/PLN.Images2002/PLN.Nicki250.jpg )

Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, the Bike Contest and all the available weekend activities online at www.FastDates.com.

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BIKERNET CARRIBEAN REPORT–

Thank you, thank you, thank you…..to all those fans who wanted theirnews NOW ! It’s good to know we have loyal followers each week even thoughit’s just to check out the choppers. Now all kidding aside seems like lastweek our report was lost somewhere in cyber space, but Sin and Bandit foundand posted the elusive material, thanks.

Most of us know Myrtle Beach is taking place this week, we will be joiningthe crowd sometime next week so if we miss the report you know we arekicking it in the South Carolina shores.Will report on the happenings there as soon as I get back, and the policebehaviour since it’s the first event since Laughlin.Let’s see what happens…..

One more thing about Laughlin. They are charging a club member that firedthe shots but the other club member who died, did so because of stabwounds.????? Is it me or guns don’t stab people, knives do. It so happensthe two HA members who died did by gunshots…….So , the DA is claimingthat an HA shot his brothers ??? Good luck with that one. Too bad mediawill never give us the true story.

If you guys don’t read Your Shots, then we have some news for ya’. Billy Lane and Choppers Inc. will be featured in the Discovery Channel motorcycleMania 3. I’m so glad for him and if he is busy now, wait until the program airs…Billy will be riding with some friends from Florida to an undisclosedlocation. Maybe he will give us a call to join him…Uhmm, which Rigidchopper should I take ???

We also heard some rumors and I mean rumors that Orange County Chopperswere filmed also…….If the guys from Discovery are reading this….. Hey give us a call !!!!! we can get VIP treatment at our local strip joints….

We heard that over 200 bikes showed up at the HOG mother’s day ride…..Wetried to start up our jet skis to join them. Well I heard they had a goodtime, rain or not.

Now, I’m going to ask for a favor, we don’t have a Special Construction lawin Puerto Rico ( yeap it’s a major pain in the ass trying to register ahome built bike), but we are working with some legislators to make this lawhappen. If anyone has their state laws regarding this please e-mail them toJose@ChopperFreak.com or send them to 801 Fernandez Juncos, San Juan PR 00907.The actual law and procedures for registration will work…..Thanks inadvance.

We have been featuring some of our bikes each week, pretty soon Bandit andBikernet will have lots of our bikes in a section, soon grasshopper, soon.

Here’s another of our choppers, this one is for sale, Daytec Frame and H-D80 inch motor, lots of good components and yeap , it’s a rigid.Give is a shout if you want this baby…..$16,000.00 will make ityours…..

Oh well, I’m outta here, and I even managed not to give any sermons thisweek……I guess I’m kinda sad, Sin Wu asked for a spanking but Bandit didit instead……so I missed that one. Oh well, I can only daydream aboutthose silky smooth, oriental buns……

Hey Bandit how about a Caribbean Cruise the USS Minow isavailable…….Well , there’s always the Love Ride, and we all know whythey call it ” Love” ride…

Saludos…….

Jose.

A BIT OF HISTORY FROM THE BIKERNET LIBRARY– In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighterscarried iron cannons. Those cannon fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck?

The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen.

Thus, a supply of thirty cannon balls could be stacked in a smallarea right next to the cannon. There was only one problem-how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a “Monkey” with sixteen round indentations. But, if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. Thesolution to the rusting problem was to make “Brass Monkeys.”

Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and muchfaster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, “Cold enough to freeze theballs off a brass monkey!”

CALIFORNIA HELMET REPEAL MOVES–This is from Jean Hughes, Legislative Director for ABATE of California. They havea helmet repeal bill pending that would allow them to ride without a helmet ifthey carry $1 million worth of insurance.

After much discussion nationwide, I have taken the opposite position of most onthe “list”. The “list” consensus is that once enacted, the “insurance mandate”will run wild across the country and we’ll all be fighting it in our ownlegislatures.

I believe we will be in this fight soon regardless of what happens in California.California, as a state, know their predicament better than I do. Who am I to tellthem that I won’t help because I personally don’t believe in an “insurancemandate”? As a sovereign state and a sovereign organization – California andABATE of California are free to do as they wish.

ABATE of California is asking for help. I’ll leave it up to you individually todecide for yourselves.

–spotmanJs1lilhd@aol.com wrote:

Bill (AB2700, sponsored by Dennis Mountjoy) reads as follows: “Under existing law, it is unlawful for any person to operate a motorcycle, motor-driven cycle, or motorized bicycle if the driver or passenger is not wearing a safety helmet. Existing law also makes it unlawful to ride as a passenger on a motorcycle if the driver or any passenger is not wearing a safety helmet.

This bill would limit the above helmet provisions to drivers and passengers who are 20 years of age or less. This bill would provide that a person who is 21 years of age or older may operate or ride as a passenger on a motorcycle, motor-driven cycle, or motorized bicycle without a helmet only if he or she has proof of at least $1,000,000 in medical insurance on his or her person.”

Since our victory in Assembly Transportation on 4/22 the legislators have been playing games with the bill, threatening re-referrel to appropriations, etc…well, yesterday the Rules Committee voted to send the bill on to the full assembly floor. This is likely to happen in the next 10 days…so, if your folks could please let the assembly know that you support AB2700, and that you will start riding in CA and spending your tourist dollars here…that is great…feel free to inform/educate them too …i.e., helmets don’t prevent accidents, etc…

It would be great if we could swamp the following members with letters (faxed or emailed), emails, and phone calls…THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP !!!

Thomas Calderon, assemblymember.calderon@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2058, fax 916-319-2158

Dennis Cardoza, dennis.cardoza@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2026, fax 916-319-2126

Tony Cardenas (thanks for voting in our favor on 4/22), assemblymember.cardenas@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2039, fax 916-319-2139

Ellen Corbett, assemblymember.corbett@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2018, fax 916-319-2118

Lou Correa, assemblymember.correa@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2069, fax 916-319-2169

Dean Florez, assemblymember.florex@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2030, fax

916-319-2130

Dario Frommer, assemblymember.frommer@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2043, fax 916-319-2143

Robert Hertzberg, robert.hertzberg@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2040, fax 916-319-2140

Jerome Horton, assemblymember.horton@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2051, fax 916-319-2151

Christine Kehoe, (this one has always indicated support, but won’t vote in favor), assemblymember.kehoe@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2076, fax 916-319-2176

John Longville (voted in our favor 4/22), assemblymember.longville@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2062, fax, 916-319-2162

Geroge Nakano (voted in our favor 4/22, 5/2) assemblymember.nakano@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2053, fax 916-319-2153

Lou Papan, lou.papan@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2019, fax 916-319-2119

Sarah Reyes, assemblymember.reyes@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2031, fax 916-319-2131

Carl Washington, carl.washington@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2052, fax 916-319-2152

Herb Wessen (Speaker of the Assembly), speaker@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2047, fax 916-319-2147 If you are only going to contact one person, this is the man !!

Patricia Wiggins, patricia.wiggins@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2007, fax 916-319-2107

Rod Wright, assemblymember.wright@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2048, fax 916-319-2148

There you have it…any contact is good…thanks again…Jean

Who has a million bucks in insurance. Texas repealed their helmet law with $10,000 in insurance and so did a couple of other states. What’s the deal?

A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a really true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “That was fucking awesome….”

BIKERNET CITIZEN SURVEY FINDINGS– When you finish reading this article about bikers, your blood will beboiling. If you want to respond for phone numbers and e-mail addresses,click on ——> Sentinel &Enterprise, then click on “Info/Feedback.”

Even though I’d like to respond with an “F” word in every sentence,I’ll respond VERY professionally. The writer obviously thinks we’re allscum bags, riding with a buzz on, so when I respond to this jerk, I will besure to put on my English professor hat! Poet

Monday, May 06, 2002 – 5:21:53 AM MST

Of springtime, bikers, and starch

By Paul Wieland, executive director of Fitchburg Community Television.They come as if the results of a warm day’s hatch. If you’re caughtunawares, they seem to fill your senses, buzzing angrily and clouding yourvision; swarming around you and threatening to attack. They are certain harbingers of full spring in New England. May flies? Black flies? Yellow jackets? Mosquitoes? None of the above. For it’s the time of the biker of which we speak, the phalanxes ofmotorcyclists who hit the roads as spring takes away black ice, and replacesit with black mood when one is stuck behind columns and rows of the bikerscareening down the tarmac. Perhaps this is being too harsh.We all have been told of thewonderful things biker groups do to serve their communities, raising moneyfor good causes, holding Marlon Brando look-alike contests. We realize they serve as a rough-edged form of population control,as the wildest sub-species of bikers annually spins itself into oblivionagainst dozens of New England trees and Massachusetts stone walls. Those of us familiar with the annual Darwin Awards, which go topeople who kill themselves in most creative and stupid ways, find there’s awho genre of bikers who are Darwin candidates every day .Consider riding down Route 12 heading north towards New Hampshireand finding oneself being passed on a blind curve by an idiot on amotorcycle who is weaving by you and other drivers at 20 miles per hourfaster than traffic is moving.

Scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it?

No, whatever it is that drives men and women to buy and drivemotorcycles on public rights-of-way, it isn’t common sense. Unless commonsense is not seriously considering how fast one can die when thrown from theseat of a speeding Harley which suddenly stops speeding before your bodydoes…? 1999-2001 MediaNews Group, Inc. and Mid-States Newspapers, Inc.

–from MaryAnn Leger, member of Women On Wheels and Poet.

I cut a substantial portion of this article because I’ve read cute little idiotic attacks on motorcyclists all my adult life. They always smack of someone who knows no passion for life, never takes a risk or places their safety in jeopardy. In other words, they just don’t get it.–Bandit

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP LESSON– A forty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight Her husband watches her for a while and asks, “Do you haveany idea how ridiculous you look? What’s the matter with you?

“The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says “I don’t care. I just came from the doctor and he says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.”

The husband said, “What did he say about your 44 year old ass?”

“Your name never came up,” she replied.

–from Chris T.

SUGARBEAR ON RAKE AND TRAIL–Here’s a shot of a Sugarbear rocker. He uses his rockers as part of his custom formula to create the ideal rake and trail for handling. Over the next couple of weeks we’ll show you how it works in the Bikernet Garage.

MORE ON RELATIONSHIPS FROM BIKERNET–Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor asked the elderly couple, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?” The old man replied, “No problem at all, Pastor.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor asked the middle-aged couple, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, but yes, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor then asked the newlywed couple, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied, sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the pastor.

“My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust, seeing her in that position, and took advantage of her. We made mad passionate love right there.”

You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the pastor.

“We know,” said the young man, “we’re not welcome at Home Depot anymore, either.”

HarleyPics.com update–The site has just been updated with a new feature.20 photos of the new VROD Custom, “Super Street” from Speed PointGermany.Direct Link : http://www.harleypics.com/feature_bikes/vrod/bike.htm

There is also a new Screensaver of the VROD Custom bike for PC owners.Direct Link : http://www.harleypics.com/desktop/screen/screen.htm

And to finish up a Desktop wallpaper of the new bike.Direct Link :http://www.harleypics.com/desktop/wallpaper/wallpaper.htm

Enjoy the new content and let us know what you think.

–Craig Stuart,HarleyPics.com

WE’RE BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT–We have an agent for Randall’s books and he’s got us churnin’ and burnin’ out chapters of the new books, outlines and synopsis for publishers.

The IMB Dojo was packed full of cops this week with guest officers from Hamburg, Germany. We’re contemplating taking boxing classes on Friday night. One of the masters, Brad, Layla’s brother is encouraging me to attend. He will run us through eight drills on various sized bags before we get in the ring. He promised that in six months I’d be able to kick the blond’s ass. I signed up on the spot. Let’s ride–Bandit.

This news will be short because some of the crew are headed south to New Orleans to monitor the Confederation of Clubs meetings at the annual NCOM meeting in the French Quarter. There’s bound to be a surprise news flash next week.

One more thing, before we launch into the news. As you know the Bikernet headquarters are located in a multi-rise, ivory tower in the very center of the Los Angeles Post financial district, but since a certain blond knockout entered the picture my in-house gym was moved to a less spacious location. Here’s what I was left to face upon my return from the prison ship. Now, let’s get to the news:

SAMSON SEEKS RIG RIDER–The president of Samson Exhaust and the chairman of the board, Mr. Samson, himself called and told us in no uncertain terms to supply him with a new big rig driver for their brand new, high dollar, luxury (from chromed exhaust pipes) Samson Rig. You’ll have to attend every major motorcycle event in the country. I know, it’s tough duty, just report in goddamnit and make it snappy. Drop me a resume and I’ll pass it on, if it’s worth a shit: Bandit@bikernet.com.

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE NHRA TEAM CONTINUES COMPETITIVE TESTING EFFORTS– The Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Pro Stock Bike drag racing team continued to make technical advances during the NHRA Summit Southern Nationals in Commerce, Ga., this weekend. Although the team did not qualify for the Sunday show, they remain confident of the potential of the program to become competitive in the series.

Cold, rainy conditions hampered the entire event and shortened Pro Stock Bike qualifying to just three rounds. After a first round mechanical, the Screamin’ Eagle Team netted a second round qualifying effort of 7.644 seconds at 166.48 MPH and a third round time of 7.619 seconds at 167.18 MPH. The “bump” to make Sunday’s show was a 7.349 elapsed time (E.T.).

“We gained a lot of valuable knowledge this weekend. The team has been busy working through technical issues, including tuning the new electronic fuel injection system,” said Mike Kennedy, director of Harley-Davidson Parts and Accessories Marketing. “We solved some of the issues which are expected in an all-new program, and we gained insight into others. Obviously, we have a long way to go to achieve our goals of qualifying and becoming competitive in this field. But we’re confident we have the best in the business working on this program.”

The team will continue testing in preparation for the Matco Tools SuperNationals in Englishtown, N.J. on May 16-19.

POSITIVE CLUB ACTION–HOUSTON, TX: Well, with that news about those few (and it really is a few) club problems,here’s a little POSITIVE perspective: In Houston, Texas, a group of citizens is workingto rehabilitate run down areas in the 136 year old Fifth Ward and Denver Harborneighborhoods. For starters, eight homes belonging to some old folks like me will berenovated and put in sparkling shape. Workers include hundreds of Conoco volunteers, andmembers of Motorcycle Clubs, including United Bikers, the Street Lords, and The ChosenFew. The bikers are working side-by-side with the St. John’s Baptist Church, the City ofHouston, the Mormon church; even with the Houston Police. Now that’s the image we wannabe working on. Congratulations, all of you hard working people!

For more legislative news go to the Bikers’ Rights Department.

TRIUMPH’S NOT DOWN FOR THE COUNT–A brand new motorcycle factory is being built by Triumph Motorcycles inHinckley, U.K. on the site destroyed in a recent fire. Production is expected to resumeby the start of September 2002. The new facility is said to be the most advanced in theworld. Hoorah!

FROM THE BIKERNET FARMING DEPARTMENT–A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for hischicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,”OK old fart, time for you to retire.”

The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of thesechickens. Look what it has done to me. Can’t you just let me have the twoold hens over in the corner?”

The young rooster says, “Beat it! You are washed up and I am takingover.”

The old rooster says, “I tell you what, young stud. I will race youaround the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over theentire chicken coop.”

The young rooster laughs, “You know you don’t stand a chance old man, sojust to be fair I will give you a head start.”

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later, the youngrooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of thefarmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porchwhen he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM!He blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, Dangit… third gay rooster Ibought this month.”

Moral of the story…Respect your elders …. age and wisdom can overcome youth and skill!

NUTTBOYS PROSTREET UP ON TWO WHEELS–This is the basis for the new Bikernet project bike. The plan is to shrink this sucker with the assistance of Dr. John and the Bikernet Garage. While the good doctor cuts the neck and moves it down and toward the front head we will cut an 1.5 out of the swingarm. So the project begins.We’ve made contact with a Porche restoration specialist who is a master of body work and sheet metal design. He’s also designing headers that will flatten and hide. Erst is a genius and we’ll see what he has in mind for pipes and perhaps a tank. This one is going to be fun. Hang on.

Continued On Page 2

From The GUNNY’S SACK

DONNYBROOK, IRELAND: Well, that’s actually just where the name comes from, and it’s cometo mean a “free-for-all,” and we in the biker community sure had ourselves a littleDonnybrook in Laughlin, Nevada, just before this here Sack went to press. Now it seemsthat officials from Harley-Davidson have had to cancel a motorcycle festival planned inOld Bridge, New Jersey this summer. The town’s worried about violence, basically. Damn. More than 150,000 people were expected to attend Harley’s “Open Road Tour” show, plannedfor August 16-18 at Raceway Park.

These and other good people are put off by the threat of violence in their home town. Other motorcycle events are also being cancelled or held under tighter security andheavy scrutiny by law enforcement. And it’s not like ANY community of people is free ofviolence. But when it’s this public, it’s no wonder Big Brother wants us off the roads.

We’ve made SO MUCH PROGRESS, especially with the Confederations of Clubs around theUnited States and Canada, with NCOM’s help. These Confederations afford a platform forALL bikers – clubs in particular – to have a voice, a line of communication, and MOST ofall, a VOICE for JUSTICE for ALL bikers, in the courts. This episode won’t go unnoticed,and it may set us back JUST a bit, but nobody’s gonna give up the struggle, because weall lose if we do. Peace to all, that’s all I can say.

NEWS BITS’N PIECES:

FROM THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS comes this jewel. Prayers for the road: Lakeshore’s firstBlessing of the Bikes drew hundreds of scooter people. “Blessing of the Bikes” hasbecome somewhat of a tradition all over the country. It happens in the Springtime whenmost of us getting our putts outta hybernation and shined up for the start of the ridingseason. It’s a good thing, folks, and we could all use some divine help in the trafficwe ride in nowadays.

These are real family type gatherings that everyone can enjoy, and even if it is a littlecold and rainy, the warm fuzzys you get from it are well worth it.

NEWNAN, GA: A brand new motorcycle factory is being built by Triumph Motorcycles inHinckley, U.K. on the site destroyed in a recent fire. Production is expected to resumeby the start of September 2002. The new facility is said to be the most advanced in theworld. Hoorah!

HOUSTON, TX: Well, with that news about those few (and it really is a few) club problems,here’s a little POSITIVE perspective: In Houston, Texas, a group of citizens is workingto rehabilitate run down areas in the 136 year old Fifth Ward and Denver Harborneighborhoods. For starters, eight homes belonging to some old folks like me will berenovated and put in sparkling shape. Workers include hundreds of Conoco volunteers, andmembers of Motorcycle Clubs, including United Bikers, the Street Lords, and The ChosenFew. The bikers are working side-by-side with the St. John’s Baptist Church, the City ofHouston, the Mormon church; even with the Houston Police. Now that’s the image we wannabe working on. Congratulations, all of you hard working people!

ST. JAMES PALACE, ENGLAND: When we say here in the Sack that bikers are a very diversegroup, HERE’S the topper on that poop: Prince William rides. That is, we’re talkin’ oneof the possible successors to the Throne of the British Empire. And like my boss SamHochberg might say, “that ain’t chopped liver.” The PA News story tells us that theyoung prince has had his endorident, take advantage of the services these fine peopleoffer us. Your A.I.M. attorneys are available by calling the toll free nationwidehotline at 1-800-ON-A- BIKE, or online at www.on-a-bike.com. Sam Hochberg, our OregonA.I.M. attorney is available out of Portland. He will take good care of you as will anyother A.I.M. attorney in the country.

Keep the round side on the bottom.Gunny, Oregon A.I.M. Chief of Staff