BIKER BILLY LOOKIN’ FOR RECIPES, NEW ARTIST ON BIKERNET

Continued From Page 2

SKY MARSHALS DISARMED OF NAIL CLIPPERS–The pilot who was the source of Chris Ruddy’s “Pilot’s Tale of March 29” was asked by Ruddy if he has noted any significant increase in sky marshals, who are eventually to be on every U.S. flight.

The pilot said he knows of only two flights since 9-11 that have included sky marshals. He said in both cases the plane had more than one marshal.

On one flight, a marshal told him an incredible story. The marshal said he cleared the X-ray area with some trouble.

Screeners had no problem with his firearm because he had proper credentials to carry as a sky marshal. But when screeners discovered his nail clipper in his carry-on baggage they made a stink.

Because “nail clippers” are an item prohibited on planes, the screeners insisted they had to be confiscated. The sky marshal had to part with his nail clippers as he went merrily to the gate carrying a loaded gun.

Didn’t Dickens once remark that the law can be an “ass”?

–from Rogue

BIKERNET EVENTS–The shot above is from Rigid Frame Richard’s coverage of a Dallas, Texas rally. Over the next couple of weeks we’ll post more on the LA Calendar Show, the Run For Breath, Hollister, a rally from Tennessee and a couple of runs from Earl in Oklahoma. Boy, you can sure tell it’s ridin’ season around here. Ride Safe, goddamnit!–Bandit

BLONDE JOKE– A blind man enters a Women’s Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:

1 – The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 – The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3 – I’m a 6 foot tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 – The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 – The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, “Nah…. Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

–from Ray Russel

BIKER MOVIE CLIPS–Here are a few minutes of various motorcycle shenanigans you may enjoy.http://www.neonsins.com/home/moto1-320.wmv

–from Gene Koch

NCOM WEST COAST REGIONAL CONFERENCE SLATED– I’m very proud to announce here in the Sack that Portland will again behost to the NCOM (National Coalition of Motorcyclists) West Coast Regional Conference! It’s currently slated for the second Saturday in November of this year. The Conferenceattracts bikers and reps from biker organizations from all over the West, and Alaska andHawaii, too. This is the first time it’s been in here in Portland in ten years! We’relookin’ forward to it, too. More details here in the Sack as we get ’em in.

–GUNNY

ACTOR/BIKER DOWNED, BUT BACK–Three cheers for Daryl “Chill” Mitchell, an actor and a biker whowent down hard, but didn’t stay down long. Chill was paralyzed from the waist down in awreck last November, but Variety magazine says Chill already has a new steady gig as aparalyzed guy on the NBC-TV series “Ed.”

Now THERE’S one biker who won’t have a claimfor lost wages from this wreck, and bully for him.

–GUNNYSubject: Why Floridians Never Answer the Door

–from Bob T.

BIKER BILLY HUNGRY AGAIN– The purpose of this email is to remind you that Biker Billy, that famous, or somewhat famous motorcycle cook is just about finished with his third cook book “Hog Wild on a Harley” and he would really like a few more recipes from Dixie Rider readers! To make it interesting, I’ll pay you 10 grand* if he publishes your recipe. I figure if you can take the time out to send a recipe then the least I can do is send you a candy bar. If you don’t like 10 grand, how about a Snickers?*you didn’t really think I mean actual money?

Anyway, what you need to do is visit www.bikerbilly.com and follow the clicks to where you submit the recipe and voila’ stick a fork in ya, you’re done! Your candy bar is in the mail.?

Be sure to note that you’re a Dixie Rider reader (or mention Bikernet). Sylvia sent Billy her version of Lace Cornbread…a true southern delicacy..but you can send whatever you like, it doesn’t have to be spicy, southern or even edible…although I don’t know why someone would cook?a batch of shoe laces or something like that…..

NEW ARTIST FEATURED ON BIKERNET–Chopper Heaven is the newest release from motorcycle artist Chris Kallas.This painting has been reproduced on a premium 80 lb. acid-free cover stock. The lithograph prints measure 18″x27″ (image size,10 1/2″x 20 1/4″). They are available as a signed limited edition of 300 for $39.95 or unsigned for $19.95 (plus $4.95 for shipping). For more information call Chris at (310) 316-2790.

Continued On Page 4

DEVIL DOLLS INDICTED

Continued From Page 3

And The Cantina Winner Is?
Derek Dougherty
Plymouth Meeting, PA
Wanted: A night alone with Sin (naked of course) or A Bikernet Hoodie size XXL.

That?s right folks, Derek just won a Bikernet Sweatshirt and you could be next. Join the Cantina and not only will you help support Bikernet, you can also enter to win in the “Cantina Giveaway”. It’s the only contest in the world where you chose the prize. Hurry up, what are you waitin? for!?!?

HOORAY FOR DENNIS MILLER–Dennis said recently on his show, regarding the judges who declared the Pledgeof Allegiance unconstitutional:”So, Your Honor, the Pledge is unconstitutional because it says ‘UnderGod’. Guess that means when you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible,and at the end of your oath repeated, ‘So Help Me God’ that makes your jobunconstitutional!

Therefore you have no job, which means your rulingdoesn’t mean squat”

–from Angel Rider

WINO JOE HOLLISTER REPORT OF SORTS–Bobby,RHWiz. This might be somethin’we want’a consider? Yes, all yaMFers on RHGang, I’m back; bit’a arthrist in knuckles/knees, but it wasworth it; almost felt retired. Back’n forth’tween Monterey & Hollister.Swapped-sip with’a helfer in Johnny’s(great kisser)! Danced with my 2ndEX,”The Queen Cobra”, at ol’school gang party:) Now back in thalovin’arms of “Spinner Jo”; 4’9”; 90lb Dago gangster of love; withgreat tits. Feel like’a NEW 60 yr’ol man.

–Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

ERIC HERRMANN LATEST STURGIS PATRIOTIC PAINTING– I’ve been working on a painting just completed, since Sept. 11th. It’s about planes, bikes, vets, and freedom. Been working closely with the Airforce and Air National Guard and if things go right they’ll be doing a low level fly by with several F-16’s at Sturgis as I unveil the painting.

If the fly-by materializes I’ll be sending out invitations to USA today, CNN… currently getting all that contact info from a local news anchor who rides.

–Eric
erherrm@attglobal.net

NEVER SAY TO A COP, FROM BIKERNET RULE BOOK– I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK inTexas).

EXCEPTIONAL CHILDRENS FOUNDATION CONCERT REPORT–Thanks for the Exceptional Fun, Exciting and Hazardous day. The box seatfor the WAR concert was fun and enjoyable. Riding with you was Exciting.

You remind me of my old Road Captain Bob Bitchin. However, you rode too hardconsidering my rigid frame and extended front end. Splitting lanes was abit Hazardous.

I’m trying to figure out how many miles of lane splitting Ifollowed you through. From PCH Ventura to the Malibu coastal 1 hwy to SantaMonica, and then on to the 10 frwy to the 405 frwy, you charged like a pitbull in heat. But! As your loyal private, I dutiful follow my fearlesscharging Road General.

Sorry about the little fender bender back in Malibu.Next time don’t stop too fast and I won’t bite you in the butt. I was readyto do the old hit and run tactic, but you had to be the nice guy that youare and pulled over to exchange information. We did a little bit ofeverything minus the girls. Next time we’ll take it a little easier andovernight with the girls.

The Beach Charity Run event may be temporary,but the bonding friendship is lasting. Thanks for keeping an eye on me.

Live to Ride – Ride to Live. Bike Forever – Forever Bike.

–Aloha, Dick Bondano

WAYNE HARVEY’S LEGAL DEFENSE FUND–Much respects to all…..some of you may not know Wayne Harvey of Waynes World II but he has really been harrassed by the powers to be in Canada. All because he had an 81 support site on his web site. A search warrant was served at Wayne’s house and his computer was confiscated…reckon they thought they were going to find something…which they didn’t.

He was arrested three days later after another search warrant was served on him for having an old rifle which was on his wall as a memorial to his dad who passed away about a year ago. The memorial had pictures, medals his dad had won (Wayne’s dad was a war veteran) and other military service memorabilia. The rifle didn’t have a bolt or firing pin in it…just the shell of the rifle, and he was arrested for that. And things keep getting worse…..he was recently arrested for driving under suspension (he wasn’t under suspension, Wayne dad’s license was suspended a while back and they apparently confused that for Wayne)…they also charged Wayne with a handle bar violation which they just eyeballed. A legal defense fund has been set up for Wayne…..here’s the link **WaynesLegalDefense(25) This link is posted on my web site..Lone Bikers Web Site @Lone Bikers “Biker Babes” Site …another link is posted at the “Top 50 Motorcycle Sites….here’s the link for that… http://www.americansteel.net/wayne/wayne.html

Wayne is a stand up kinda guy who has done much for Charities, Missing Children and numerous events in Canada….This is only one example of how Bikers are being treated in Canada. I know you might say “this don’t effect me..and it’s not me” but sooner or later it could be you.

Please if you can try and send Wayne’s Legal Fund something. Don’t matter how small or how big. All money collected goes into a special account “Wayne Harvey Legal Defense Fund” and will be used for that purpose and that purpose only. Receipts will also be sent to everyone who helps Wayne out.

Much Respects
Lone Biker
www.LoneBiker.org

CONGRATULATIONS, STURGIS HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES–Don Hotop is going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year. Along with Arlen Ness, Donnie Smith, Dave Perewitz & Jim Betlach, there will be 5Hamsters in the Hall of Fame. It would be wonderful to have a massive turnout of the Hamsters at the breakfast, to honor them. Fred Fox, the owner of Drag Specialties is also being inducted.

Tickets can be bought on line at www.sturgismotorcyclemuseum.org for $15.00each, or for those who don’t have time, call the museum @ 605-347-2001 witha c/c.

–Thanks,Bob Illingworth

THE AMAZING CLAUDE–It was opening night at the Orpheum and the AmazingClaude was topping the bill.People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotistdo his stuff.

As Claude took to the stage, he announced,”Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto thestage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and everymemberof the audience.”The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew abeautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.It’s a very special watch. Its been in my family for sixgenerations.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth whilequietly chanting, “Watch the watch, watch the watch,watch the watch…. “The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back andforth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch,until suddenlyitslipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and fell to the floor, breakinginto ahundred pieces.

“Shit” said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theater.

–from Dan

DEVIL DOLLS MOTORCYCLE CLUB INDICTED FOR RADICAL WOMEN TERRORISM–They will be hosting their 2nd Annual Girl Power Run on July 27th, 2002. Our Run is not about excluding or bashing men, we just can’t let them in on all our secret rituals, and they just can’t know about all those male strip clubs that of course we would NEVER EVER go into! We totally want them at our end destination, the PARKSIDE, and we have all kinds of scandalous things planned for the boldest of them. Besides, this is where the coolest biker babes are going to end up.

Last years Run was amazing and ever since then, cool females have been signing up for our Mailing list and it was quite clear that we were not going to get off the hook for a second Girl Power Run in 2002. You ladies were very persistent, so heck, we are doing it again. And I must admit that when I was riding sweep on last years Run, the sight of almost 200 women on their motorcycles, stretching out so far in front of me, got me right between the handlebars. I still get goosebumps.

The Devil Dolls MC would like to invite all cool biker women to join us on Saturday, July 27th at Dudley-Perkins Harley-Davidson, 123 S. Van Ness in San Francisco. There will be coffee and donuts. All bikes are welcome. Sign-in is from 9-11am. Tickets are $20 and this includes great food at the final stop. Our route will be a scenic one and we will be hitting some of San Francisco’s best spots and views. Our final destination will be at this groovy venue called the PARKSIDE, located on 1600 17th Street@Wisconsin in Portrero Hill (still San Francisco). The party will be from 2-7pm, with plenty of motorcycle parking. We invite everyone to join us here, hot biker dudes, rockabilly kids, punk rockers, our Stormy Leather Bondage Beauties, and a ton of our cool friends who don’t ride but wanna party with us and support us. The cover charge at the PARKSIDE for those joining us there will be $5. There will also be killer food there and thirst quenching cocktails.

We will have Girl Power Run shirts available for $20. We are printing up 200 only so if you want one, be one of the first 200 to sign in. If you need any more info, please check us out at www.devildolls.com or call the Devil Doll HOTLINE@ (415)546-3700. We will see you there!!

PS Did I mention that the Discovery Channel will be filming not only this event (and here we try so frickin’ hard to stay out of trouble..dang!!), but I have been asked to take part in what should be quite the adventure of a lifetime. Six girls have been asked to meet up in a certain location 1200 miles away, and then ride the most amazing and scenic route with the final destination being our Girl Power Run in Frisco. Three girls from the East Coast and three girls from the West Coast (okay fine, 5 tan girls and one goth) make up this daredevil team so I must hit the road like, now. I have been told that we will have a mechanic that looks like Brad Pitt driving the chase vehicle. I’ll let you know what the production/camera crew looks like. Should be some interesting footage…ummm. Anyway, I have my pal Jesse James to thank for this opportunity. So you might wanna show up at our Final Venue ‘cuz ya never know who is going to be there.

Be cool.
GOTHGIRL
DDMC

ESCAPE ROUTE–A few years ago I attempted to breakout from the shackles of the city. I hooked up with a psycho who was terrified that I would dump her in a shallow grave in the desert, so plans were scrambled. This shot came from Bob T. who lives in the sand and cactus outside LA, and rode with me 30 years ago. Each time the city conjestion licks at his neighborhood he runs deeper into the desert and reminds me of my desire to be one of Pat Kennedy’s neighbors in Tombstone, Arizona. Watch for a story to be launched soon in HORSE about Pat’s bikes and his compound in the desert.

So this week it’s the LA Calendar Show and next week the HORSE Smoke Out and the Run For Breath in Charlotte, plus the pressure is on for the Amazing Shrunken FXR, and a couple of magazine deadlines. Another Shrunken bike report will be launched tonight, plus coverage of the Orange County Assholes Mooning of the Amtrack last weekend. There’s more coming from Earl and Ozark Ed, techs from BDL and one from Le Pera seats is hanging out there somewhere. That’s all I’ll admit to publically. So keep in touch between the garage, the open road and romance. I need a Jack on the rocks. –Bandit

BIKERNET LAUNCHES 100TH ANNIVERSARY MODELS

Continued From Page 2

Joker Apparel In The Bikernet Gulch!—You read it right. Now you can get Joker clothes right here from Bikernet. T-shirts, Party shirt and Tank Tops for men. And for the ladies, some sexy shit. Check it out here at http://www.bikernet.com/catalog/onlinecatalog.asp?Category=Joker+Machine+Apparel&Placeholder=0

Be the first in your neighborhood to sport the bad-ass Joker Machine logo.

CICCOTTO RIDES FIREBOLT TO BUELL PRO THUNDER VICTORY–Mike Ciccotto rode a Hal?s Performance Advantage Buell Firebolt XB9R to its first AMA National victory in the Buell Pro Thunder Series event at Mazda Laguna Seca Raceway here today. Ciccotto, of Sebastian, Fla., overcame a bad start and hunted down series points leader Kirk McCarthy, erasing a 7.6-second deficit to pass for the lead on lap 13 of the 17-lap race. Ciccotto went on to win by 0.712 seconds. ??

?That Buell Firebolt was just awesome today,? said Ciccotto after the race. ?After I passed Kirk, I saw him coming right back at me and I had to put my head down. When I saw the white flag, I knew I had to have a good last lap. I had some pretty good slides. It was a fun race.?

BIKERNET STOCK INVESTMENT–If you had bought $1000.00 worth of EASYRIDERS stock one year ago, it would nowbe worth $0.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock)one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for 10 centdeposit, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

–from Kevin

ROGUE REPORT– There is alot going on the internet about the thing I sent you yesterdayabout Wayne Harveys site in Canada and the cops going after him because hesupported 81.

— ROGUE

BIKERNET RESTAURANT REPORT–A man and a beautiful woman were havingdinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress,taking another order at a table a few pacesaway suddenly noticed that the man wasslowing sliding down his chair and under thetable, but the woman acted unconcerned.The waitress watched as the man slid all theway down his chair and out of sight underthe table.

Still, the woman dining across from himappeared calm and unruffled, apparentlyunaware that her dining companion haddisappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order,she came over to the table and said to thewoman, “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think yourhusband just slid under the table.”

The woman calmly looked up at her andreplied firmly, “No he didn’t. My husband justwalked in the door.”

–Catts

JACK DANIELS SPONSORS BIKERNET–If you get the opportunity to swing by the Bikernet Booth at the LA Calendar show you’ll discover that Bandit’s whiskey will be represented. For every purchase of an Orwell book, Bikernet T-shirt, Sweatshirt or Bad Pig shades you’ll also receive a gift package of Jack Daniels trinkets.

If that’s not good enough, come to the party on the Queen Mary, 9:00 to whenever, where we will be raffling off Bikernet, Von Dutch, Crime Inc., HA leather and Jack Daniels gifts to the party goers. I’ll be there drinking Jack on the rocks and chasin’ her.

Oh, you don’t need an invitation, a note from your mom, a ticket to the show, nada. It’s free, come aboard the ship.–

HESSIANS MEMORIAL SITE– We recently place a link to the following site, , which is a memorial to members of the Hessians Motorcycle Club. It’s just one way the members pay tribute to downed brothers.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON NEW 100TH ANNIVERSARY MODELS ARE UP ON BIKERNET– http://www.bikernet.com/2003HD/2003HDModels.asp.CELEBRATING 100 YEARS OF GREAT MOTORCYCLES:HARLEY-DAVIDSON 100TH ANNIVERSARY MOTORCYCLES ANNOUNCED

MILWAUKEE (July 13, 2002) – The 2003 Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary motorcycles celebrate a century of time-tested motorcycle innovation by an American original. The 100th Anniversary model motorcycles capture the balance between form and function, blending timeless beauty with the right technical innovations Harley-Davidson customers want. No other model-year in the history of Harley-Davidson has been more anticipated. To try to meet demand, Harley-Davidson will extend production of 2003 motorcycles by two months, resulting in a 14-month production schedule that will end in September 2003.

Continuing the tradition that has made Harley-Davidson motorcycles the most coveted heavy weight cruisers in the world, the 2003 models feature ground-breaking styling and engineering, unparalleled attention to detail and elements that have never been seen before in the motorcycle market or in Harley-Davidson history.

“We wanted to deliver something really special to our customers in 2003,” said Willie G. Davidson, vice president, styling. “To achieve this, Harley-Davidson is offering customers 100th Anniversary identification on all 2003 models. With their stunning colors and unique styling elements, the 100th Anniversary models illustrate why Harley-Davidson motorcycles are permanent fixtures on highways everywhere.”

One hundred years is an incredible milestone and accordingly, each motorcycle produced for the 2003 model year will reflect this accomplishment. Three variations of 100th Anniversary identification will be available for most XL and Big Twin models, and two choices will be available for the VRSC family. However, every 2003 model will feature a 100th Anniversary medallion on the engine crankcase and a 100th Anniversary model nameplate.

The most notable of 100th Anniversary identification is included on models featuring the Two-Tone Sterling Silver and Vivid Black paint combination. With the addition of Sterling Silver paint, this stunning color combination marks a new achievement in motorcycle paint technology. The deep, rich luster of Harley-Davidson’s Vivid Black complements the liquid-metal appearance of the new Sterling Silver paint. Separating the colors is a highly detailed striping application with “Harley-Davidson” lettering artfully integrated into the design.

All models sporting two-tone paint also feature a vast array of 100th Anniversary styling elements including: a 100th Anniversary tank emblem, with a gold Bar & Shield cloisonne insert; an Anniversary logo embossed seat; a 100th Anniversary medallion on the engine crankcase; a 100th Anniversary model nameplate; and 100th detailing on the derby, air cleaner and timing covers. An additional finishing touch, Anniversary Gold Cast wheels are available on select two-tone models. Refer to the 100th Anniversary identification chart for full details on the styling elements for all 2003 models.

A second variation of 100th Anniversary identification is available on select models sporting Vivid Black or new Gunmetal Pearl paint. All Anniversary models in these colors will feature a 100th Anniversary tank emblem with a chrome Bar & Shield cloisonne insert; a 100th Anniversary medallion on the engine crankcase; and 100th Anniversary striping and 100th Anniversary model nameplate. Refer to the 100th Anniversary identification chart for full details.

Last year’s multiple award-winning VRSCA V-Rod returns in its original anodized aluminum or, factory-painted for the first time, a new Two-Tone Sterling Silver and Vivid Black paint combination. Both Anniversary models still house the smooth rumblings of the 60-degree, liquid-cooled Revolution engine wrapped in a perimeter hydroformed frame. And both varieties feature 100th Anniversary identification including a tank cloisonne in either chrome or gold, depending upon the paint scheme, and engine case medallion. Refer to the accompanying identification chart for full details.

Select 100th Anniversary models will also be available in the carry over colors Luxury Blue, Luxury Rich Red or White Pearl. These models feature 100th Anniversary tank graphics, a 100th Anniversary model nameplate and a medallion on the engine crankcase.

Continued On Page 4

FOUR CORNERS RALLY IN DURANGO–CANCELED

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–If you have been following the latest reports you might know we are leavingfor The Horse SMSO and Sturgis. Last week we decided to build a bike forthese rides, (photos are posted in last week news) since we finished the WCCbike on time, we attacked this ’65 pan that I bought a few years ago, threedays(and nights) later we had the Pan completed. Too bad we blew a fronthead gasket by some misterious failure (still trying to figure it out) sothe bike was a no go.

After a day of rest we decided to try our luck andput it back together, remember the trailer is on the way as you read thisreport, so time was very, very, limited. After twelve more hours we managedto put it back together, roll it into the trailer and get the whole thinggoing, once again. We did the paint in one day, black with flex clear andmade a few changes along the way (actually, lots of them). I guess this is asmall victory for us, since it’s a challenge and we beat the odds. Sure Idon’t do all the stuff by myself and am lucky to have good friends that arewilling to help out and rock on the overnighters, that’s one of the coolestthings of this lifestyle, take a bare frame and put it together with ideasthat can’t even be written down. We have friends and family that are alwayswilling to help out and follow up on my insanity, and then be able to enjoythe final product, no matter how nice or how shitty……

This upcoming Sunday we will participate in the largest all Harley meetingin Puerto Rico, Hatillo. This event has been going on for ages and evenOl’Rip managed to visit and party with us. We are leaving for NC rightafter that but I hope to do next weeks report before taking of.

It’s final, Roger Bourget, Billy Lane and a few other friends (will namethem next week) will ride up to the SMSO sometime next week followed by aDiscovery Channel crew. This will also be featured in worlwide magazinesand I’m sure it’s going to be a lot of fun.will keep reporting as soon as stuff hapens.

Also Bandit will be present at The Horse SMSO signing books and posing forphotos with semi dressed chicks, then we will join Mike Pullin’s Run forBreath ride…..I’m sure you will be able to see the action here.

Speaking of The Horse, we will have one of our bikes featured next month,maybe we will get the cover….who knows ? You can subscribe through Bikernet. Just Click on the Banner or the logo on the homepage.

I’ve heard some gossip that Geno got a job offer from HB, he’s selling hischopper and buying a jet ski colored billet barge, also he’s pumping ironto better mix in California…..Congrats Geno….!!!

Noel from Crazy Rigids payed us a visit at the shop this week, he wasvisiting some family in the island and took the time to check if we werefor real or just bullshitting. It’s great to meet people face toface….check his web site Crzyrigids.com and say hi.

*** Note to Crazy Horse, yes we know the other Jose, and yes we sold themthat nice rigid since we are the exclusive distributors for BBW in theCaribbean….no one else can, no matter how hard they try.Also congrats to Jose Luis aka Pichywiwi on winning the bike show with hisrigid Python chopper !

Time to get outta here, tonight is the first night that I would be able tosleep for more that two hours in the last three weeks, so hell yeah I’mgoing to take advantage of that. We still have a ton of stuff to do beforeleaving, so good night I’m hitting the sack ASAP !!!

–Jose, Caribbean Report

BIKERNET Etiquette LESSON–A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redheadsitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down,but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its sockettowards the man.He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.”Oh my, I am sooo sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.”Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theatre, followedby drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and heshares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to herplace for an intimate nightcap…and stay for breakfast the next morning.The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed!! Everything had been incredible!!

“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to everyguy you meet?”

“No, she replies………”

Hold on for this one.

“You just happened to catch my eye.”

–Ladd

BIKERNET OVERSEAS REPORT– I’m sure you got to check out some of the stuffproducts from H-D. Seems like they are really getting on the ball as far asoffering performance products. Factory built stroker motors, EFI tuner kits,radical cams, hydraulic clutch, even an upgraded magneti marelli throttlebody. I’m sure even bigger changes will come for 101.

I’m involved in a project now with a company from Japan that is goingto build 100 Sportster powered, hardail choppers in Las Vegas for sale inJapan. They already have rented a chop out here. I’m excited to see howthings work out with this.

There are two styles of choppers called the “roadhopper”. They are pretty similar except one has a springer front end and theother has 39 mm forks. They were designed by the head guy from a shop called Zero Engineering in Japan.

Here is a picture of one of the models.

–Hiro

DURANGO/FOUR CORNERS CANCELED– Citing, among other reasons, difficulties in solidifying an acceptable location, the Board of Directors of the Four Corners Iron Horse Motorcycle, Inc. officially announced the 2002 Rally will not be held over Labor Day weekend.

Drought conditions this season and the recent wildfires, as well as the continuing threat of such disasters from smoking and other human activity have caused the Rally Board additional concern.

The event, which has been held in Ignacio at the Sky Ute Events Center on Southern Ute land for the past nine years, has traditionally offered four-days of concerts, vendor booths, and entertainment events bringing in tens of thousands of two-wheeled tourists to southwest Colorado each year.Log on to durango.org and durangomountain.com for information. Their website 4cornersrally.com will keep you up-to-date on the 2003 rally and other developments.

From Custom Chrome – RevTech? 6-Speed ?Overdrive? Transmission for Twin Cam 88? Softail? Models–
* Black wrinkle finish
* Features smoother case design and 2.94:1 ratio first gear
* Requires speedometer recalibration unit (CCI# 58-318) if using an Original Equipment electronic speedometer from 1996 thru 200258-450
Fits all Twin Cam 88? Softail? models from 2000 thru 2002?$1,869.00?

JUVENILE DIABETES RESEARCH FOUNDATION EVENT THIS SATURDAY– Don’t miss the Poker Run, Bike Raffle and Party for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF)this Saturday July 20th.

The Poker Run will be great. A 100 mile ride in the country and a WILD Wild Fire Party at the Dealership at the end of the ride. Beverages, food, live music and prizes.

Sign-up for the ride starts at 9:00 am at Wild Fire HD, 120 North Ave, Villa Park, IL 60181 (630 834 6571). Ride Tickets are $20 per ticket and $25 the day of the run. Last Bike out at Noon.

We will also be holding a raffle supporting the JDRF. Tickets for the raffle are $65 each, or 2 tickets for $100. If you purchase the raffle tickets, the Poker Run entry is free. And the prizes and the odds of winning are fantastic. Look at these Prizes:

First Prize: 2002 Dyna Sport
Second Prize: 2002 Buell Blast
Third Prize: A Piano

No more than 1000 tickets will be sold (likely 750 or less), so your chances of winning one of these three great prizes in the raffle are extremely high.

So, buy a couple of raffle tickets, get a solid chance to win one of three great prizes, enjoy a soothing ride in the country, party with us for free at Wild Fire AND help support an extremely worthwhile cause to help children…the future of our great Country. Please help if you can.

Look forward to seeing you on Saturday the 20th of July!!

==Ozzie
CEO-Dealer Principal

JON TOWLE DOES IT AGAIN–Each and every time you slide onto the site and click on an Amazing Shrunken FXR Tech sponsored by Custom Chrome and Joker Machine, you’ll be faced with this illustration by the master of broken Sportster parts, Jonth Towle, the short. Enjoy.

HAYES DISC BRAKE GIVEAWAY–Thank to our friends at Hayes Disc Brakes; Break it, Fix It, Ride It isgiving away a complete set of Hayes Hydraulic Brakes.

Here is the link to enter;http://www.bfr-it.com/hayes.asp

All contest entrants can download a free Spinning Hayes Disc Brakescreensaver.A winner will be drawn on August 31,2002

–GOOD LUCK..

DANNY GRAY STURGIS ROADHOUSE–THE ROADHOUSE WILL BE OPEN ALL WEEK. ON THE PREVIOUS DAY, WEDNESDAY, HOT BIKE MAGAZINE WILL BE SPONSORING A RIDE FROM STURGIS H-D. THROUGH THE HILLS ENDING AT THE ROADHOUSE ALSO. ALL ARE WELCOME, ( FREE LUNCH IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE HOT BIKE RIDE). RIDE SAFE…

–DANNY GRAY..

TBEAR REPORT– As for making your day, I met with?a NY/Hollywood Shark on Monday. I didn’t know it was possible to get?ones ego stroked, leg humped, intelligence insulted and parking validated all in one meeting. I’m offically what they term “in developement” and Sam “Chopper” Orwell is swimming with the sharks as well.

I left my copy with a particularly attractive 30 something, red headed,?tight assed agent who cooed ” I just love bikers” but declined my invitation for a ride through mid-town traffic on my Panhead. I asked her to be sure to read it while taking her perfumed bubble bath.

–TBear

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BIKERNET BILLBOARD REVEALED

If only I knew what the hell was going on. John Siebenthaler, the master designer has created another award winning billboard for Bikernet at Sturgis using the crap that we supplied him. This weekend is the LA Calendar show and women and riders and ridin’ women are running at the coast in droves. As of tomorrow afternoon, the headquarters will be party central until Saturday night on the Queen Mary where we will sponsor the Bike Show Party in the Observation Lounge. Stop on by, it’s open to the public, all welcome.

Jack Daniels is sponsoring our party tent at the show both Saturday and Sunday. Okay, so it all sounds peaches and cream, hot summer nights, half dressed ladies and some of the best looking bikes in the world. There’s one glitch in the 60-weight ointment. Due to new construction at the Queen Mary, parking spots will be at a severe preminum except for bikes. If you’re in a cage you might consider parking at the Long Beach Aquarium and taking the 5-minute boat ride or shuttle to the event.

Other than the parking quagmire, the sun will be glistening off the water and sleek bikinis for a dazzling party next to the ship. Let’s get to the news.

ROUND-THE-WORLD MOTORCYCLE RACE BEGINS — The first ever round-the-world motorcycle race has started from London. Covering 25,000 miles through 20 countries, five deserts and four continents, the 24 competitors will be on the road for 95 days. The event will raise more than $160,000 for charities including Sight Savers, The Meningitis Fund and for Alzheimer’s groups.

Mr. Sanders – who holds the Guinness world record for riding around the globe on a motorcycle (31 days and 20 hours) – and who has bicycled around the world twice, says the competitors will have their minds on the grueling task of covering up to 1,000 miles a day. “The riders are going to find it hard. They have had to train a lot over the last 12 months,” he said. “They will be riding an average of 400 to 700 miles and up to 18 hours a day.”

After their send-off in England, the bikes will be shipped to the United States, where the race will officially begin in three weeks.

GRAYBEARD GOES TO DOCTOR–A guy that just turned 50 goes to the doctor to ask him an importantquestion. “Doc, when I was in my 20’s, it took both of my hands to pushdown my hard-on. When I was in my 30’s, it took one hand to push downmy hard-on. When I was in my 40’s, it took three fingers to push downmy hard-on. Now that I’m in my 50’s, it only takes one finger to pushdown on my hard-on! So what I’m basically trying to ask you is…howstrong am I going to get?”

–DanFender

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR PROJECT ROCKS–We’ve been hitting it hard to fit and extended Cyril Huze tank on a chopped and shortened Kenny Boyce Pro Street frame to House the RevTech 88-inch engine and 6-speed trans. Just yesterday we were attempting to fit fender struts over a BDL rear pulley to lock down the rear Fatboy fender to the swingarm securely. If we can stay up all night tomorrow and receive a shipment of Joker Machine components, be awake and sharp enough to mount the rear fender, the Cyril front fender, the Cyril created oil bag then slip the engine and trans in place, we may have one sharp looking rolling chassis in the Joker booth. Hang on…

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH– Mayor Quits After Chucking Bottle At Biker. Criminal charges may be brought against former Sodus Point, New York, Mayor Donald Buchwald over allegations that he threw a plastic bottle at a passing motorcyclist, State Police told the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper.

–Bill Bish, A.I.M.

MOTORCYCLE MARINES RIDE ON– OooooRah! In the jungles and rugged terrain of Nicaragua and Panama during the “Banana Wars” and on the scarred landscape of France during World War I, the Marine Corps and Harley-Davidson created a bond forged in combat. That bond was recently renewed when two Marines rounded the corner of Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C. this Fourth of July aboard Harley “Fatboys” during the National Independence Day Parade, and the Motorcycle Marines were reborn.

“Starting this summer, hand picked Marine Recruiters will begin appearing at parades and regional events aboard gleaming, fire engine red and chrome Harley-Davidson motorcycles,” said Sergeant Jimmie Perkins in a USMC Recruiting Command story. The motorcycles will join the Marine Corps’ other event-marketing vehicle, a red Humvee.

“Harley-Davidson and the Marine Corps share a special place in the hearts of the American people,” said Major Gen. Jerry D. Humble, Commanding General of Marine Corps Recruiting Command. “With a shared pride of being known as the best, Harley-Davidson and the United States Marine Corps represent ideals that have made our nation great.”

–Bill Bish, A.I.M.

BELT DRIVES LTD. REAR BELT ADJUSTMENT ADVICE–When installing a rear drive belt, alignment and proper tension is very critical, the installer mustbe sure that the rear wheel is accurately centered so that the belt will track properly on both the rear pulley and transmission pulley.

When installing a new belt on old or new pulleys particularly on an aftermarket motorcycle witha lowering kit or lowered shocks, then particular care must be taken on setting the free play (tension) of the belt. It may be a good idea to have someone sitting on the bike while the freeplayis being adjusted.

If the freeplay is too loose then the belt may have a tendency to jump a tooth on the pulley which may cause the belt to break and or strip teeth off of the belt.

After the initial installation of the belt it is very important that the freeplay be checked at the 50 mile,100 mile and 200 mile point because a new belt under load may seat itself into the pulleys thuscausing the belt to get loose.

Belt failure is mostly attributed to improper alignment, improper tension and failure to monitor the tension of the belt.THERE IS NO WARRANTY ON BELTS.

For more belt info check the BDL department on Bikernet or click above to the BDL website for tech articles and belt drive products.

Continued On Page 2

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visitus on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS

Compiled and Edited By BILL BISH, National Coalition of Motorcyclists

ONE NATION, UNDER LITIGATION

As our Nation celebrated its independence and heritage thispast July Fourth, we also became united against a new attack on our country and ourPatriotism from our own judiciary.

Most of us grew up reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in school, the words rolling aseasily off our tongues as the ABC’s and 1-2-3’s, and Americans in general are appalledthat a federal appeals court would take aim at our sacred oath. And why now, at a timewhen our country is united in defiance of terrorist aggression, and our fellow countrymenpray to a higher authority for strength and guidance?

Bikers didn’t need 9-11 to catalyze our Patriotism and love for our country. Manymotorcyclists are veterans, and most of us are more civically involved and politicallyaware than the average citizen. Despite a reputation for rabble rousing and a rebelliouslifestyle, we routinely recite the Pledge of Allegiance at our meetings, rallies andgatherings, and we did so even before it became politically correct.

Former President Clinton once said that you can’t love your country and hate yourgovernment, but most bikers would respond that we love our country enough to want to fixit. Now, a San Francisco court gives us yet another reason to question authority.

Politicians have been quick to wrap themselves in the flag since the court’s June 27decision, and both sides of the aisle and even President Bush have decried the Ninth U.S.Circuit Court of Appeals declaration that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in publicschools is unconstitutional because of the words “under God” inserted by Congress in1954.

In a 2-1 decision, the court said the phrase “one nation under God” amounts to agovernment endorsement of religion in violation of the separation of church and state. The case was brought by a California atheist who objected to his daughter beingcompelled to listen to her second-grade classmates recite the pledge.

Critics of the decision were flabbergasted and warned that it calls into question the useof “In God We Trust” on the nation’s currency, the public singing of patriotic songs like”God Bless America,” even the use of the phrase “So help me God” when judges are sworninto office.

The ruling, if allowed to stand, would mean schoolchildren could no longer recite thepledge, at least in the nine Western states covered by the court: Alaska, Arizona,California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington state.

However, the ruling does not take effect for several months, to allow further appeals. The government can ask the court to reconsider, or take its case to the U.S. SupremeCourt. Incidentally, the Supreme Court itself begins each of its sessions with thephrase “God save the United States and this honorable court.”

The 9th Circuit is the nation’s most overturned appellate court – partly because it isthe largest, but also because it tends to make liberal, activist opinions, and becausethe cases it hears – on a range of issues from environmental laws to property rights tocivil rights – tend to challenge the status quo.

Congress inserted “under God” at the height of the Cold War after a campaign by theKnights of Columbus, religious leaders and others who wanted to distinguish the UnitedStates from what they regarded as godless communism.

USA PATRIOT ACT IS UNPATRIOTIC

A complete and utter overreaction to the tragic events ofSeptember 11th has taken place. I don’t believe the people of this great country knowthat Congress has rendered the Fourth Amendment of the United States Constitution nulland void! How did this happen? By rushing to pass the “Uniting and StrengtheningAmerica by ProvidingAppropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act” or USA PATRIOT Act of2001.

It allows the application of F.I.S.A. (Foreign Intelligence and Surveillance Act) todomestic investigations. This allows law enforcement to get around strict rules of theFourth Amendment. The F.I.S.A. was originally written to apply solely to foreignintelligence gathering. The PATRIOT Act expands F.I.S.A. to include domestic matters. This means that a set of rules for dealing with foreign spies can now be used on UnitedStates Citizens.

The PATRIOT Act also contains an expansion of Federal Surveillance to include rovingwiretaps. This means that if your brother-in-law is doing something to get his phonetapped, when he comes to visit at Christmas, even though you are doing nothing wrong andhave no knowledge of what he is doing, the wiretap follows him and your phone is tappedwhile he is visiting.

Congress apparently wasn’t satisfied with just the Fourth Amendment, they also went afterthe First Amendment. Groups that use “criminal” methods to intimidate government are nowconsidered “Domestic Terrorists”. Civil disobedience has been the best way to protestunfair or unjust laws since our nation was formed. Under this law, women’s suffragegroups of the 19th century and civil rights groups of this century could be defined as”Domestic Terrorists,” and maybe your group is next.

Everyone should call or write their Congressional representatives and demand that the USAPATRIOT Act of 2001 be repealed! If they don’t, we should elect a Congress that will. That is, if we are still allowed to hold elections.

BEAR, Iron Cross Motorcycle Club
Chairman, Georgia Confederation of Clubs

AUTHORITIES ARE INVESTIGATING THE WRONG GANG

At last, a journalist makes sense of therecent biker violence and the subsequent (over)reactions by law enforcement, and MikeSeate of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review even takes shots at his colleagues in the pressfor sensationalizing these events and working in concert with the police in promptingpublic hysteria. Read on for Mr. Seate’s take on this situation, as published in hisJuly 15, 2002 article:

Over the last few months, the motorcycle gang that made headlines for its rebellious,anti-social antics in the 1960s has been in the news again.

Hells Angels members now are middle-aged and graying, but they’ve been involved in fatalshootings in New York and Laughlin, Nev., had their names linked to internationaldrug-smuggling rings and even prompted the summoning of the National Guard when theyshowed up at a New Hampshire motorcycle rally last month.

Unfortunately, all of this hype has little to do with the reality of working alongside agroup of area Hells Angels a few weeks ago.

For a group that TV news teams and police departments from Amsterdam to Los Angeles havedescribed as “a wealthy, sophisticated drug cartel,” these guys were taking nothingstronger than Advil.

The Lake Coast chapter of the Hells Angels, who attended a motorcycle festival atCleveland’s Thompson Dragway, were an older, friendly lot for a bunch of guys who’ve beenpainted with the same brush as al-Qaida terrorists. If the Angels and other motorcyclegangs are, in fact, reaping billions from operating alleged drug empires, the profitshaven’t trickled down to Akron yet. These bikers partied on bargain beer, lived in a20-year-old trailer and cooked their meals on a tiny, 99-cent discount store barbecuegrill.

For all of their multi-million dollar budgets and high technology surveillance equipment,you’d think the AFT and FBI would realize that millionaire drug dealers don’t ride10-year-old Harleys and walk around with fewer teeth than are found in the back row of aWillie Nelson concert. Maybe the biggest crime being committed here is felonystereotyping.

It’s true that many people over-romanticize the outlaw biker image and ignore it whenthese guys do break the law. But why are we still vilifying a group that contains a fewpunch-out artists and small-time dope peddlers when white-collar crimes – from stockfraud to dodgy accounting practices that affect the lives and jobs of millions – stilldon’t get guys in Armani suits stereotyped as thieves?

Maybe it’s because law enforcement agencies can use the so-called threat of biker gangsto scare the populace and beef up their operating budgets.

And it’s a lot easier to roust a half-employed guy in a leather jacket for selling $50worth of cocaine than it is to investigate the highest levels of corporate America. Ifthe FBI is, in fact, looking to apprehend career criminals, they should shift their spyglasses from the trailer parks to the boardrooms of Fortune 500 companies.

For years, the media and society at large have labeled all members of certain groups bythe actions of a few. Guilt-by-association, for some unknown reason, applies to some ofsociety’s minorities and not others; no one targeted red-haired Christian gun nuts afterTimothy McVeigh bombed the Oklahoma City Federal Building, but it’s a sure bet thatArabic men interested in airline jobs are being advised to seek different career pathsthese days.

Surely, some Hells Angels have broken the law in lots of weird and horrible ways. But sohave plenty of Masons, Shriners, politicians and, as we learned last week, executives atenergy giant WorldCom and Qwest, a Denver-based telecommunications firm.

Of course, experienced members of the media know this already. It just doesn’t make agood story.

Bandit will sell his ’48 Pan to the Marines for service to the country.

MOTORCYCLE MARINES RIDE ON

OooooRah! In the jungles and rugged terrain of Nicaraguaand Panama during the “Banana Wars” and on the scarred landscape of France during WorldWar I, the Marine Corps and Harley-Davidson created a bond forged in combat. That bondwas recently renewed when two Marines rounded the corner of Constitution Avenue inWashington, D.C. this Fourth of July aboard Harley “Fatboys” during the NationalIndependence Day Parade, and the Motorcycle Marines were reborn.

“Starting this summer, hand picked Marine Recruiters will begin appearing at parades andregional events aboard gleaming, fire engine red and chrome Harley-Davidson motorcycles,”said Sergeant Jimmie Perkins in a USMC Recruiting Command story. The motorcycles willjoin the Marine Corps’ other event-marketing vehicle, a red Humvee.

“Harley-Davidson and the Marine Corps share a special place in the hearts of the Americanpeople,” said Major Gen. Jerry D. Humble, Commanding General of Marine Corps RecruitingCommand. “With a shared pride of being known as the best, Harley-Davidson and the UnitedStates Marine Corps represent ideals that have made our nation great.”

ROUND-THE-WORLD MOTORCYCLE RACE BEGINS The first ever round-the-world motorcycle racehas started from London.

Covering 25,000 miles through 20 countries, five deserts and four continents, the 24competitors will be on the road for 95 days. The event will raise more than $160,000 forcharities including Sight Savers, The Meningitis Fund and for Alzheimer’s groups.

Mr. Sanders – who holds the Guinness world record for riding around the globe on amotorcycle (31 days and 20 hours) – and who has bicycled around the world twice, says thecompetitors will have their minds on the grueling task of covering up to 1,000 miles aday. “The riders are going to find it hard. They have had to train a lot over the last12 months,” he said. “They will be riding an average of 400 to 700 miles and up to 18hours a day.”

After their send-off in England, the bikes will be shipped to the United States, wherethe race will officially begin in three weeks.

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH

Mayor Quits After Chucking Bottle At Biker. Criminal chargesmay be brought against former Sodus Point, New York, Mayor Donald Buchwald overallegations that he threw a plastic bottle at a passing motorcyclist, State Police toldthe Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper.

Buchwald resigned July 1, a day after he was accused of hitting the motorcyclist in theshoulder for driving too fast through the village in the early morning. Buchwald deniedthat he threw the bottle, saying he went out to the curb and only yelled at a group ofmotorcyclists to slow down and stop revving their bikes.

Trooper John Jackson said police have statements from 10 witnesses and the motorcyclistthat claim Buchwald was the culprit. “It’s not just a case of ‘He said, she said,'”Jackson said. “You have 10 people saying one thing and another person saying anotherthing. Who do you believe?”

The motorcyclist said that he didn’t see who threw the full bottle, but was told byfriends it was Buchwald. He was treated at a local hospital for a bruised arm.

WELCOME TO NCOM

The National Coalition of Motorcyclists would like to welcome new NCOMboard members “Little Jimmy” Rouse, Business Manager for the Modified MotorcycleAssociation (MMA) of California; Jimi Ricci, Chairman of the MMA of Massachusetts; and”Cotton” Tedder, President of the Concerned Bikers Association (CBA) of North Carolina.

NCOM bids a fond farewell to longtime board member Rick Nail, past-President of the CBAof North Carolina, who retired this year from the NCOM Board of Directors.

The NCOM Legislative Task Force wishes to welcome aboard two new members: Joe “Cowboy”Dickey, State Coordinator for ABATE of Pennsylvania, and Kate Butcher, former StatePresident of ABATE of West Virginia and wife of fellow NCOM-LTF member West VirginiaState Delegate Greg Butcher.NCOM would also like to welcome ABATE of Utah, Texas ABATE Confederation, and the Sons ofLiberty Riders to the NCOM family of Member Groups.

WELCOME ABOARD TO ALL!

NCOM BOARD MEMBER RUNS FOR OFFICE

The National Coalition of Motorcyclists has longadvocated getting our own people elected to legislative offices, and we are proud toannounce that NCOM board member Jeff Barone, President of the Rhode Island MotorcycleAssociation (RIMA), has tossed his hat in the political arena.

“As I announced at this year’s NCOM Convention, I have moved forward and declared to be acandidate for The Rhode Island House of Representatives,” beems Barone. “As you allknow, one of our goals is to get motorcyclists elected to public office. With having avoice at the State House, we will be heard. Although there are more issues than FREEDOMOF CHOICE, that will be my main platform along with AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE and a tightfocus on EDUCATION.”

As we all know, running for office takes money, so anyone interested in supporting Jeff’spolitical bid can send donations to “Friends To Elect Jeffrey P. Barone,” and mail themc/o 125 Smith Ave., Unit 3A, Greenville, RI 02828

QUOTABLE QUOTES: “So, Your Honor, the pledge is unconstitutional because it says ‘UnderGod’. Guess that means when you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible, and at the endof your oath repeated ‘So Help Me God,’ that makes your job unconstitutional, thereforeyou have no job, which means your ruling doesn’t mean squat.”Comedian DENNIS MILLER, regarding the judges who declared the Pledge of Allegianceunconstitutional

STURGIS BILLBOARD FINAL, HARLEY EARNINGS UP, RUN FOR BREATH THIS WEEKEND,

Continued From Page 3

HARLEY-DAVIDSON, INC. REPORTS RECORD SECOND QUARTERREVENUE AND EARNINGSHighly Anticipated New 100th Anniversary Models Introduced. ????? Harley-Davidson, Inc. (NYSE: HDI) today announced record revenue and earnings for its second quarter ended June 30, 2002. The Company’s second quarter revenue was $1.0 billion, an increase of 16.1 percent over the same period last year. Diluted earnings per share for the second quarter were 47 cents, a 25.4 percent increase compared to last year.

?In the midst of challenging economic times, we are pleased to deliver another record quarter,? said Jeffrey L. Bleustein, chairman and chief executive officer of Harley-Davidson, Inc. ?Worldwide retail sales of Harley-Davidson motorcycles for the first half of the year grew 19 percent over the same time period last year.?

?Our 100th Anniversary products were enthusiastically received by our global dealer network during our Summer Dealer Meeting which just concluded in Milwaukee. On July 17, several hundred of our dealers and employees will fire up the new bikes and head south to Atlanta for the kick-off of Harley-Davidson?s 100th Anniversary Open Road Tour. The Atlanta event, July 19-21, is the first of 10 events to be held around the world to celebrate our rich history and, more importantly, the beginning of our next 100 years,? said Bleustein.

FIREARM REFRESHER COURSE–A. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
B. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
C. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
D. Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
E.?If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
F. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
G. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
H. If you don’t know your rights you don’t have any.
I. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
J. The United States Constitution 1791. All Rights Reserved.
K. What part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?
L. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
M. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
N. Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians.
O. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
P. You don’t shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
Q. 911 – government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
R. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
S. Criminals love gun control – it makes their jobs safer.
T. If Guns cause Crime, then Matches cause Arson.
U. Only a government that is afraid of it’s citizens try to control?them.
V. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
W. Enforce the “gun control laws” we have, don’t make more.
X. When you remove the people’s right to bear arms, you create slaves.
Y. The American Revolution would never have happened with Gun Control.
Z.?”…a government by the people, for the people…”

–from Bob T.

STURGIS BILLBOARD FINAL–As usual John Siebenthaler created a masterful Billboard art for the badlands rally. Unfortunately there was some contraversy over the line at the bottom. After a minor chair-kicking, bottle throwing dispute this is what the billboard will boast.

FROM THE BIKERNET BLOND FILES– A man entered the bus, with his pockets full of golf balls, and sat downnext to a blond.

The blond kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”

The blond continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked,”Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

NEW LENS KITS FROM HARLEY-DAVIDSON HELP GET THE RED OUT
MILWAUKEE, June 18, 2002 – Blackout or crystal clear, Harley-Davidson’snew Turn Signal Lens Kits will have your motorcycle turning heads with a newcustom look. Whether you want to maximize the monochromatic look of theV-Rod or add further distinction to your Sportster, Dyna Glide, Softail orTouring model, these new lens kits will take the look of your motorcycle ina whole new direction.

The new Turn Signal Lens Kits from Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Partsand Genuine Motor Accessories can be used to replace the stock amber lensesfor a cleaner appearance in the front and rear of the vehicle.VRSCA lenses are available in either Clear (P/N 69309-02) or Smoked (P/N69315-02) versions. The kits include four lenses and four amber bulbs. Lenskits are also available for ’00 and later models with Bullet Turn Signals(P/N 69303-02 for Clear and P/N 69304-02 for Smoked); a version for ’86 andlater models with Flat Turn Signal Lenses (P/N 69307-02 for Clear and P/N69308-02 for Smoked) and a version for ’01 and earlier models equipped withDome Lens Style Turn Signals (PIN 69305-02 for Clear and PIN 693 06-02 forSmoked).

All Turn Signal Lens Kits are DOT approved and have a suggested U.S.retail price of $37.95.

For additional information on the new Turn Signal Lens Kits and otherHarley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories, see yourlocal Harley-Davidson dealer or visit the Harley-Davidson web site atwww.harley-davidson.com.

To find a dealer near you, call toll free1-800-443-2153 in the U.S.A. or Canada.

ONE MAN’S CODE–AMEN!! My ol’ grandpappy always told me, “Don’t HAVE problems, boy… Create’em for others!” I always try to take his advice.

–Buckshot

RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–I talked to Lee Clemens, of Departure Bike Works (Richmond, Virginia) today and he told me he would be arriving in Charlotte on Friday aftenoon(7-26-02). He plans on riding to the Smokeout with us on Sat. morning.

Oh by the way “Meanest” got a kite from Billy Lane, he said he would try to be here on Sun. for the run.Right now everything is in place. There will be a lot of riders at my house Sun. morning. Some of our local clubs will be there, that should be real cool! I have people calling all week about if it is o.k. to stop by my house Sun. morning. I have told them all it it would be cool if they stop by. I got a bike lined up for you, so don’t forget the lids! I am kinda getting excited.

Later!
Mike

BIKERNET POLICE EDIQUETTE–Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

THAT’S THE STORY–and we’re stickin’ with it, I suppose. Okay, so it’s hot as hell, but when she returns from the Post Office I’m rippin’ her clothes off and makin’ her mine this evening. Between the Hooter girls, the Saturday Bikernet party girls, the calendar girls and some of the babe spectators, I’m half out of my mind with lust.

Next week, it’s back on the Amazing Shrunken FXR and collectin’ reports from the run to Sturgis. Ride safe, everyone and duck the damn deer. –Bandit

BIG DOG GIVES AWAY MOTORCYCLES!

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET REVEAL MILITARY STUDY– To ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors. Let’s pause a moment and take the following test.?

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
(a) Olga Corbutt?
(b) Sitting Bull?
(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1979,the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:?
(a) Lost Norwegians?
(b) Elvis?
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

During the 1980’s, a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:?
(a) John Dillinger?
(b) The King of Sweden?
(c) The Boy Scouts?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:?
(a) A pizza delivery boy?
(b) Pee Wee Herman?
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.?

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:?
(a) The Smurfs?
(b) Davy Jones?
(c) The Little Mermaid?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.?

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:?
(a) Captain Kid?
(b) Charles Lindberg?
(c) Mother Teresa?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:?
(a) Scooby Doo?
(b) The Tooth Fairy?
(c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid with dynamite left over from the train job.?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:?
(a) Richard Simmons?
(b) Grandma Moses?
(c) Michael Jordan?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:?
(a) Mr. Rogers?
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s women problems?
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: “Mustapha the Merciless”?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:?
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd?
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida?
(c) Mr. Bean?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:?
(a) Enron?
(b) The Lutheran Church?
(c) The NFL?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:?
(a) Bonny and Clyde?
(b) Captain Kangaroo?
(c) Billy Graham?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

Hmmm … nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling.

–from CarlR. QUOTE OF THE WEEK– An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk tospend time with his fools. –Ernest Hemingway

CYRIL HUZE’ NEW WEBSITE– Our entire website has been redesigned, with new pages, new graphics, new bikes and new parts. Enter our website at www.cyrilhuze.com and enjoy a new flash animation created by Damien Huze (yes, it’s?Cyril’s son).?Damien is a student at Florida Atlantic University and also professionally designs websites and?online stores for clients. Here the plug:: In any need of creative website ideas? Visit his company at: Huze Solutions (www.huzesolutions.com). At night he is the singer and lead guitar of a new-rock band called Switchmode (www.switchmode.net). This intro to our new site features one of our new?bikes built on our Kool Kat Softail frame.

The site now includes new pages like “Projects” where we?feature one of our bikes in progress?in our workshop. This one is built on our “Stray Kat” Rigid frame. The bike has already been mocked up, is in painting, and final assembly will?start at the end of July. Cyril named it Tattoo Chop! See?the birth of?this new custom?at:?http://www.cyrilhuze.com/projects.html.??

And?for all those?emailing all the time to know?about Cyril’s background, a new page is featuring his biography,?recent published interviews, and his own reflections about the future of customizing. All you wanted to know (almost) is there to satisfy your curiosity. You can?read about Cyril at: http://www.cyrilhuze.com/cyril.html

2- NEW FREE SCREENSAVER: We also posted online a brand new screensaver. It includes 30 breathtaking pictures of Cyril Huze best creations with 15 different?transitional effects.Download it for free at: http://www.cyrilhuze.com/downloads.html

3- NEW PARTS: Go to our online store?and?see our new parts: Category “Lightning”:(http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10004a)A?new cool L.E.D. vertical sidemount, 2?bullet Spikelights,?and a?very slick?headlight.

Category “Hardware”:(http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10009) New cool clamps and wiring guides. A must on all custom bikes.

ESCAPEE STORY–A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 35 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed.

He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed. Then he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife, “Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time behind bars and hasn’t seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, please don’t resist or complain. Just do what he tells you until he’s satisfied. This guy must be dangerous. If he gets angry, he might kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To this the wife responds, “Honey, I’m glad you think that way because he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong, honey. I love you too….”

–from Steve B.

BIG DOG CONTEST–Mike wants you to know that your friend signed you up for TheBringin’ Home Mike’s Big Dog Contest. You see Mike’s awarding 4 Big DogMotorcycles – one for the winner and three more for their friends. .

To find out more visithttp://bigdog.mikeshardlemonade.com/bigdog_html/signup.cfm?referid=479947

To increase your chances, enter under your name when you’re there. Toreally increase your chances, register every day until the contest closes.You can do that.

STURGIS ALL HARLEY DRAGS– Sturgis All Harley Drags, Aug. 5th-8th, 2002.Yes, it’s true, Drag Racing is back at the Sturgis 2002 Race and Rally, Aug. 5th-8th, 2002 Monday -Thursday evenings during the Sturgis Rally just 3 miles from downtown Sturgis Nitro will fill the air and you can run whatcha brung to win cash and trophies. Dazzle your friends, amaze yourself.

Dane Miller and Jim Turner are officiating the event which is billed as the largest cash purse EVER for Nitro, $10.000 to WIN the World Nitro Championship Eliminations. Plenty of Street Divisions to fit in even the most unique of engine configurations (as long as it’s a HARLEY).

Sturgis is on schedule. I have mailed the flyers for the richest race to date for Harley drags. Some Top Fuel racer can leave Sturgis with over $14,000. “We’re running 16 bike fields. So the money is there if someone wants to earn it,” Says long time drag race promoter, Dane Miller.

MONDAY Aug. 5th-Time Trials & World Nitro Championship Qualifying3 rounds of Free Runs for Sportsman & X-Dragster & qualifying for top 8 T/F Nitro HD’s.

TUESDAY Aug. 6th-World Nitro Championship Eliminations & Dash for Cash Non-qualified T/F have dash for low ET to win $1,000. Top 8 T/F Harleys start eliminations for World Nitro Championship: Winner-$10,000, R/U-$4,000, Semi-$2,000, Quarters-$1,500WEDNESDAY Aug. 7th-Sturgis Nationals (ACE RACING SERIES)3 rounds of qualifying for Sportsman, X-Dragster & T/F Harleys. 16 bike fields.

THURSDAY Aug. 8th-Sturgis Nationals EliminationsT/F: Win-$4,000, R/U-$2,000, Semi-$1,500, Quarters-$1,000, 1st RD-$750X-Dragster: Win-$2,000, R/U-$1,000, Semi-$500, Quarters-$300, 1st RD-$200
S/C class: Win-$1,000, R/U-$500, Semi-$200, Quarters-$100
S/G class: Win-$500, R/U-$200, Semi-$100
S/S class: Win-$500, R/U-$200, Semi-$100
ET class: Win-$1,000, R/U-$500, Semi-$250
Racer admission: Pro bike & rider-$150, Sportsman bike & rider-$75, Crew-$60
Gen. admission $20 each night.
Info-Rules: 336-229-4877, fax 336-227-4630
R.T. Shaw 605-347-3571 or HYPERLINK
mailto:Greatdane1958@triad.rr.com Greatdane1958@triad.rr.com

TBEAR ESCAPES PERSECUTION ONCE AGAIN– I did the Wild Pigs Buell?chopper and no good deed goes unpunished.I’m out riding today on my Panhead, doing the usual 80 in a 55, and a bubble gum machine goes off behind me. “Damn, not again.” ?I get pulled over by a Dutchess Co. Sheriff on a Harley. “Enjoying your ride?” he asks. “Why yes sir, beautiful day to be on the road, Guess I got a tad carried away, sorry bout that.” sez I. ” What’s that bulge in your jacket?’ he asks.

” That’s a few copies of The Horse Magazine, I write for them from time to time.” I was out hawking the mag to a few vendors here abouts and I had 3 copies of the Jan Issue with my Tahiti Tattoo article with me to pass out. Turns out he’s a reader and also goes on Bikernet and saw the Wild Pigs Buell Chopper. This guy is the Sgt. in charge of the Dutchess County Motor Squad and has a 1934 police bike and a 52 Panhead police bike. I told him I’d love to see them and he invited my by his place later in the week to check them out. We exchanged cards, I autographed a copy of the mag for him and off we went.

–TBear

Hey, you can subscribe to Horse directly through Bikernet. Check the home page.

BIKERNET WOMEN’S ADVICE“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”

–Dave Barry

THE CLOSE OF THE SHOW–What a goddamn day. Two women are in one bedroom while Layla is in the back taking care of business. What the hell am I supposed to do? Think I’ll wander out to the garage. Just ordered the front tire from Avon we need to pull the front end together and make the front fender fit.

I’m curious as hell about one report in the news, that Military report about all the Muslim attacks. Is that square business? Somebody let me know.

Remember, the Panhead’s for sale. Make me an offer goddamnit and have a helluva weekend.–Bandit

BIKERNET CURES TELEMARKETING HASSLES

Continued From Page 1

CYRIL HUZE’ ALL SMOOTH HEADLIGHT– This all-smooth 5 3/4″ headlight?looks great?with all styles of bikes and is reasonably priced. Machined out of 6061-TC billet aluminum and perfectly chrome plated. It includes a sealed beam with a H4 style 55/60 watt halogen bulb and a chromed mounting block. Check his website at:? www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE–A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, butafter about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as sheran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the problemwas, and she explained.

After hearing the story the doctor marched back to the first and demanded,?What?s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grownchildren and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant??

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and asked, “Does she stillhave the hiccups??

–from Nuttboy

LA CALENDAR GIRL FOUND UNDER UMBRELLA–Los Angeles, CA, July 5th: The beautiful SBK FastDates.com Calendargirls who will be shooting on location at Laguna Seca World Superbike onthe July 12th-14th weekend with FastDates.com producer Jim Gianatsis forthe SBK World Superbike endorsed Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar,have also been selected by the World Superbike Championship winningDucati Corse team to be their official umbrella girls for their 3 riderteam including reigning and current season World Superbike Championshippoints leader Troy Bayless, together with Ruben Xaus and Ben Bostrom.

The SBK FastDates.com Calendar girls for Laguna Seca include Miss WorldGreat Britain, Nicola Lane, a tall and beautiful 5’9″professional model and theatrical dancer from London.Other confirmed FastDates.com models for Laguna Seca includebreathtaking 5′ 9″ brunette Lauren Nicole, a Los Angeles based printmodel and a spokesmodel on E! television, and current Fast Datescalendar model Shannon Gonzales.

Calendar girls Nicki Lane and Lauren Nicole will also be appearing inperson throughout the July 20-21st weekend for the premier of the 2003FastDates.com Calendars at the Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show atthe Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach, California, the biggest streetbike event in America. Complete details of the Calendars, the Models,and the Bike Show are available online at www.FastDates.com

BIKERNET DRUG USE STUDY– The long term implications of drug use and cosmetic enhancement procedures must be fully considered. Over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than has been spent on Alzheimer’s disease research. It is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a very large number of people wandering aimlessly with big breasts and huge erections who can’t remember what to do with them!

–from Nuttboy

THE GREEN MACHINE REPORT–

Recently, the Green Machine M/C of East Valley had invited your club and/orasked you to post our July 27, 2002 event flyer, which was to be held inWinchester at the Wild West Arena and to benefit the Juvenile DiabetesAssociation, onto your website events page. We appreciate those who werewilling to post it or indicated your attendance and look forward to seeingyou “in the wind” as we ride this summer.

However and unfortunately, the County of Riverside Sheriff’s DepartmentHemet Station has denied the “special use” permit required by the County toput on such an event, even after we demonstrated security measures, facilitylayout, timeframes, alcohol limitations and multiple events to take place.Without going into too much detail as to why, the primary reason was thesimple fact that we are “Bikers” and belong to a motorcycle club. Thisstereotyping is unfortunately very prominent these days and will be so forquite some time, despite the fact that more than seven large motorcycleevents have taken place incident free throughout the state and in otherssince Laughlin.

Nevertheless, we obviously can’t get the cancellation message out toeveryone who obtained the event information and so many will be riding intotown that day. So if you’re still planning on coming out to the area, aswill many because of the great location, we ask that you visit one of themany “Biker” friendly establishments within the Hemet, San Jacinto andWinchester areas, which are nearby Highway 79 and Highway 74 in RiversideCounty.

As a means of “silent protest”, this would be a great way to show those whochoose to profile that we “Bikers” as a community are upstanding andcontributing members to special causes and benefits, the communities we liveand places we work. On July 27, 2002, it would be great to see as manymotorcyclists ride thru the area to demonstrate the many who ride.

Unfortunately, this time it is not we who lose because of sensationalism andscare tactics practiced by certain bureaucrats, it is the local JuvenileDiabetes Association and those the organization serve who lose out.

Respectfully,

Green Machine M/C

SINGULAR REPORT FROM RUN TO THE WALL– ?That’s not a “before” advertisment for Nair, that’s me, the end product of two million years of human evolution! ?I was right in the middle of a week long bout of hay fever when this picture was shot, and in between a series of sneezes. ?

Also, just before I got off the freeway (and I cruise at 85-90 mph), a flying bag of wet cement .. or some very large insect .. couldn’t tell which, had hit me dead center in the snot locker (nose). ?Whatever hit me bloodied my nose .. I actually saw stars for a moment .. and my face ?was covered with bug goo. ?Lots of bug goo! ?

As soon as we got off the bike at Pikes Peak H-D, I looked in the mirror to check for damage. ?I remember telling Sheri that I looked like someone who had just had a long, hard, satisfying drink from the Yak gut drain at a high volume slaughterhouse! ?

This picture was taken just after I washed my face with water from my canteen, but before I brushed the chunks of thorax from my beard and hair. ?Other than that, I’m proud to have my picture representing Run For The Wall 2002 in this very patriotic 4th of July Independence Day issue of the Colorado Springs Gazette.

POLISH SAUSAGE– A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?”

The guy, clearly offended says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something.If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya?”

The clerk says, “Well, no.”

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?”

The clerk replies, “Because this is a hardware store.”

–from Chris T.

TELEMARKETING CURE– I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren’t able to call people at home during the dinner hour. But that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed “Three Little Words” based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation, that would stop the nuisance for all time. The three little words are “Hold on, please.”

Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately — would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company’s beep-beep-beep tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you’ll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.

–from Chris T.

HEY, WE PROMISED–to bring you another report on the progress of this bike from Easyriders of Quincy, Illinois. I was frankly knocked-out by some of the design and workmanship. And once more we promise to bring you more on this shop in the near future. Also check out their web site http://www.easyridersquincy.com

*Most Definitely*–A martial arts school teacher says to his class, “Who can use the word’Definitely’ in a sentence?”

First, a little girl, Nyla, says, “The sky is definitely blue.” ?

Teacher says,”Sorry Nyla, but the sky can be gray or orange…”

Second, a little boy, Keith, says …”Trees are definitely green.” ?

“Sorry, but inthe autumn, the trees are brown.”

Little Karley from the back of the class stands up and asks: “Does a farthave lumps?”

The Sensei looks horrified and says…”Karley! Of course not!!!”

“OK…then I most DEFINITELY shit my pants…”

–from Dick Bondano

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CHILDRENS’ CONCERT NEEDS HELP

Life is so bananas. On one hand I’m doing all I can to assist with a charity to support kids who need assistance. If you live in SoCal and plan to go for a ride on Sunday, head to Ventura for a War/Cheap Tricks concert in downtown for the Exceptional Children’s Foundation. On the other hand I’m chasing women all over the headquarters and one has just gone to lunch with another one, and I’ll leave it at that, except I’d like to be a fly on the wall at that restaurant. They drive me crazy.

Besides tearing up the sheets we’re busting our asses to have a rolling chassis for the Queen Mary Show next week. It’s something completely different and we plan to have it perched in the Joker Machine Booth if we muster the final parts together. Wait, one more thing. The price for the concert has been reduced to $35 bucks, just for people who mention Bikernet. I’ll see you there.Life is crazy, let’s get to the news.

EASYRIDERS CRUNCHING NUMBERS– Did you hear about the new round of firings atEASYRIDERS? Cathie Stitch, Gaea, and Cathy Thalman got axed.They also got rid of the new editor of Savage.

Ingred Insider

Unfortunately some of these employees have been with the company over 25 years.

THE SCOTSMAN’S CODE–After a couple of drinks at a company party, a young woman’s curiosity got the best of her when she noticed a Scotsman at the bar.

Smiling, she asked, “So…just what is it that you Scots really wear under your kilt?”

He smiled broadly and said, “Well, Lass, on a good day, just a little lipstick!”

–from Ray R.

CAMPAIGN FOR THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE–?Their goal is to get 4,000,000 Americans to digitally sign the Pledge of Allegiance online, one thousand for every man, woman and child killed by terrorists on September 11, 2001. These online signatures will then be displayed at Ground Zero in New York on the one-year anniversary of 9-11 this year. ?This is one way we can show support for our country and its freedoms. ?By standing united, we are not only honoring the victims but also sending a strong message to the likes of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and Yassar Arafat. ?

This link will take you to the site. ??http://www.patriotdrive.org ??Or http://www.SignThePledgeOfAllegiance.org

–from the Wild Woman of San Pedro

??? ?

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–It’s almost 5:00 am right now, yes just got back from the shop, like I havebeen for the past week or so. As soon as we fired the WCC # 5, I decided to start a project for Sturgisthis year. Yep, call me fucking insane….. By the way, we only have fourmore days ’till our trailer starts the ocean voyage to the US. Since theWCC #5 bike will be done by tomorrow (just slight details), we will work ona ’65 Panhead that I want to take to the Black Hills. It’s a mad scramble,and you will figure out when you see the photos that I lost it big time. Let’s see what happens before I get commited to the loco hospital.

Let’s up the ante a bit, e-mail me at the Bikernet Your Shot, letters to the editor page, if you think that I can finish this bike in time. I always have next week to update on the progress( actually, completion by then…).

I took a couple photos of the two bikes just a bit ago, they are not thebest, but what the hell can you expect after a 20 hour work day ! I willpost the proper photos next week when I can shoot them in daylight.I have to use this forum to thank Guti, Ramon, Luis, Carlos, Rafi and Chenifor helping out on all 10 bikes about to hit the boat, whileliving on Coca Cola and cigarettes to survive the long days and nights.

Imagine the rush that the powdercoated parts for the WCC were completed in threehours by our local guys, and all the UPS packages have a red stickerattached to them.

Oh well….. That’s it for now, the super short version of the CaribbeanReport. Still gotta load the trailer and do that Pan…

See ya next week.

Jose

Excuses Feedback–

Pablo,
This article definitely applies to me…every bit of it…I’m going tostart the program…I’m glad I finally have “the road map”! This is the finest article ever written!

Kerric

Check out the story- Excuses Marriage Counseling 101

OHIO TOWN ENDS PROHIBITION– Prohibition has finally ended for this Akron suburb.

For the first time in more than 80 years, alcohol sales became legal Monday in Tallmadge, with Mayor Christopher Grimm getting things going by sipping on a microbrew beer at Delanie’s Neighborhood Grille.

When Prohibition ended in 1933, Tallmadge refused to allow local sales, fearful of too many taverns.

The change, approved by voters last year, was prompted by a desire to attract chain restaurants that depend on liquor sales.

Here’s the Run For Breath Banner for this year. The run takes place the 28th of July our of Charlotte. Contact Charlotte H-D for information–Bandit.

RUN FROM BREATH COMING RIGHT UP–We had the next-to-last meeting for the Run For Breath last night. Lots of frantic, last-minute details to attend to, but overall things are going very well. We read on bikernet that Discovery will be at the Smokeout following Billy Lane.

I have sent Billy Lane an e-mail inviting him to the run on Sunday. Of course, he isn’t as famous as YOU, but we thought another celebrity (although a minor one, compared to you!) couldn’t hurt our cause. I also told him that you would be here that weekend, and that we’ll look him up on Saturday.

Mike, the Run For Breath Founder, is off to Milwaukee tomorrow, the armpit of the country, as he fondly calls it! He will report in next week.

–Meanest

THREE OLD MEN DISCUSS SEX LIVES–The Italian man says, “Last week my wife and I had greatsex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we madepassionate love, and she screamed for 5 minutes at the end.”

The Frenchman boasts, “Last week when my wife and I had sex,I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then madepassionate love and she screamed for 15 minutes at the end.”

The old Jewish man says, “Well, last week my wife and I hadsex too. I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz(kosher chicken fat), we made love, and she screamed for 6hours afterwards.”

The Italian and Frenchman were stunned.

They replied, “What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for 6 hours?”

“I wiped my hands on the drapes.”

–from Josh P.

HOLLISTER A SUCCESS–SO FAR–I received a call in the middle of the night, Wednesday night. The voice was slurred and drifted as if the man was semi-unconscious. By the third word I knew it was Wino Joe reporting from Hollister. The message was garbled and indistinct, but the bottom line is that Hollister went off without a hitch.

CONFESSION–One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her sins, came to a Baptist church. She got up in front of the congregation and stated, “Last week, I slept with a young soldier who picked me up at a bar and now I ask the Lord’s forgiveness.”

“Hallelujah!”, cried the congregation.

She continued, “Two days ago, I slept with a young sailor, but now I ask the Lord’s forgiveness.”

“Hallelujah!”, cried the congregation again.

“But tonight, because I have come here and done my penance, I will sleep with the Lord,” she finished.

But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in the back yelled out in a clear voice, “That’s right momma, fuck ’em all.”

Continued On Page 2