The GUNNY’S SACK–Suzuki Made In America

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE, orvisit us on our website at

The GUNNY’S SACK

I gotta tell ya about the National Coalition Of Motorcyclists (NCOM) Convention in NewOrleans this May. It was one of the best ever, especially for me.

I was a recipient of one of the “Silver Spoke” awards given to various people each yearfor their contributions to the motorcycle world over the years. I was, and am, honoredand still in disbelief. I may be the recipient, but you folks are the reason ithappened. There is no way for me to describe what it does to a person when their peersfeel they have done good works and tell you how they feel. Thank you all.

There were a near-record 1,100 attendees from all over the biking world. We had seminarswhich included information about some of the lawsuits and other actions our A.I.M.Attorneys are involved in around the country, all for the benefit of bikers. We had arepeat performance of something we did last year: A mock-legislative session, to teach ushow to work a bill through a state legislature. We were also updated on issues coming atus from across the big pond.

There are many more things coming at us even here in this country that are of far moreconcern to us than the laws that require us to wear a hat when we ride. Mandatory “endof life” for vehicles, and emission standards and controls that will eventually do awaywith the air-cooled motorcycle engines many of us enjoy today. Can anyone name a popularbike manufacturer known for their air-cooled motors, and who just released aliquid-cooled version of their future platform bike?

Standardization of motorcycle attire from one end of the world to another is anotherbright idea some person has come up with. And the idea of some sort of air-bagprotection still is rearing its ugly head. One such device is on the market now. And wein the states still worry about helmets. WOW! The idea of maybe having to wear anair-bag scares the hell out of me a lot worse than a stupid helmet.

For more on the NCOM Convention, go to

Here in Oregon, we still have ?Dr. Tax? as governor for a short while longer. He is nowdoing his level best to panic our people into voting for higher income taxes and at leastfifty cents more tax on cigarettes. He can’t balance the budget and we already pay someof the highest taxes in the nation. If I ran business the way he does, I’d be bankrupt.And fired.

Please folks, get out and vote. We only had a 40% turn out for this past (May) electioncountry wide. I like to think at least bikers voted in higher proportions, but I don’tknow. In Oregon there are enough RIDER ENDORSED people that had we all voted we couldhave had anything we wanted on the ballot. Think about it! EVERY VOTE COUNTS,especially when the rest of our population doesn’t bother. NUFF SAID!

NEWS BITS’N PIECES:

ROME, GA: Suzuki Motor Corp is now a bona fide made-in-America manufacturer with theopening of a $30 million factory in Georgia. They promise on time delivery of all theirvehicles. They expect to employ 150 workers full time.

WINNIPEG, MANITOBA, CANADA: The Regina Leader Post tells us that Canada now has ananti-gang law aimed at motorcycle clubs that have clubhouses in and around towns. It’scalled: Manitoba’s Fortified Buildings Act, known around the area as the “Biker BunkerLaw.” It gives the police the power to shut down clubhouses because the police decidethey are a danger to the community. Talk about NAZI’s.

HARRISBURG, PA: From the PR Newswire comes these stats: In Pennsylvania there were 20people killed in Memorial Day crashes according to the State Police investigating theincidents. In addition, there were 327 injured and 724 wrecks. All this in 4 days. ONEof the dead was riding a motorcycle. There were 5,831 speeding tickets and 268 werecharged with driving under the influence. These were just the things that the StatePolice investigated, not the whole picture. What about the city cops and sheriffs? Thisis just from one state, folks. We need to be more vigilant. We are killing our peopleon the highways faster than we can with wars.

NEW HAMPSHIRE: Officials here are considering the implementation of rider courses inorder to get or retain the right to ride a motorcycle. Driving courses are required forcars and boats, but at present bikers don’t have to. 38 other states require rider edcourses now for young novice riders, but none of them require adults to pass a coursebefore getting a license. New Hampshire is trying to make sure they will be able tooffer the courses to all 65,000 who need them before making the courses mandatory.

RICHMOND, B.C., CANADA: WOW! This just might be the tool we’ve been looking for: SaltireSystems Inc., a developer of tire pressure and temperature monitoring technology, isshowcasing a tire monitoring system for motorcycles at Refine 2002 in mid-June, in Essen,Germany. This gizmo is made for bikes, and it’s designed to warn us of sudden changes intire pressure, so we can get set for the dreaded blowout on our scooters at speed.This thing is scheduled to go on sale in the USA by the end of 2002, and be compatiblewith all rides. This here kid will be looking at that there doodad very closely.

DEARBORN, MI: AAA is at it again. They are saying the repeal of the helmet law here willincrease deaths and injuries in motorcycle accidents. Never mind that the accidents aremostly caused by fools driving cages. Never mind that car drivers will never wearhelmets, although if the AAA were right, it would save many more head injuries in caraccidents.

House Bill 4823, sponsored by Rep. Gene Dearest (R-Manchester), would remove themandatory helmet requirement for all riders and passengers 21 years of age or older, butdoes not require motorcycle riders to carry Personal Injury Protection (PIP) insurancecoverage. I hope the legislators keep their wits about them and pass this bill.

MIAMI, FL.: Well now! Seems the fight against terrorism has taken the FBI away from thebusiness of supporting the local police in their harassment wars against motorcycleclubs. Now that the FBI is going to be focused on its core mission of terrorism, I’mwondering how our state and local agencies are going to deal with motorcycle gangs,narcotics trafficking and white- collar crime? Washington State Patrol Chief Renal Serassaid. “White collar crimes don’t usually occur in just one city or one county … andthe FBI has been really helpful with that over the years.” Smaller agencies may feel more of a pinch. In Peoria County, IL, Sheriff Chuck Scaffoldsaid the FBI provides crucial support for fighting “gang” activity. The local cops arenow faced with the terrible task of keeping tabs on scooter people all by themselves.

My! If they spent more time on legitimate vehicle stops and the pursuit of realcriminals, they’d save money and do us all a lot more good.

ATHENS, GREECE: Seems there’s a new riding hazard we can worry about: Flying spiders!According to the Associated Press (AP), a 33 year-old woman was riding her scoot when aspider got blown into her ear. Started to hurt after awhile, so the doc took a peek, andthere it was! He videotaped the little bugger inside her ear, just in case people calledhim a liar. According to the doc, the temperature inside your ear is comfy for spiders.

Let’s not let that rumor out to the Spider world!

GUNNY AGAIN: That does it for this month folks. Remember the riding season is in fullswing now and rider courses are filling up fast. Hope you can get in on one. These pearls of wisdom are part of the nationwide network of A.I.M. Attorneys and as suchare part of the protection and information they provide us. If, God forbid, you have anincident on your scoot or car, get a hold of your nearest A.I.M. Attorney for free adviceor representation. Call nationwide at 1-800-531-2424, or 1-800-ON-A-BIKE, any time 24hours a day, seven days a week.

Sam Hochberg, our local Oregon A.I.M. Attorney, can befound at 1-800-347-1106, or in the Portland area at 503-224-1106. Sam will be glad togive free advice on any motorcycle-related issue, as will any of our A.I.M. Attorneysthroughout the country. And I’ll see YOU all at the runs in the Northwest!

Keep the round side on the bottom,GUNNY, Oregon A.I.M. Chief Of Staff

BIKERNET REPORTER RECEIVES BOOK CONTRACT–

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Sasha completed final negotiations with Kensington Books for a March 2003 launch date: Our New York correspondent has landed a contract to produce a coffee table book on women who ride. She is an incredible writer and we look forward to it.

Bikerlady
Sexy Powerful Free
and in control of her destiny. . .
on the road and in life

A celebration of women motorcyclists worldwide! www.bikerlady.com/bookCheck out the website for more info.

BUELL FIREBOLT SCORES FIRST NATIONAL ROADRACE VICTORY–Eric Wood Tops Formula USA Sportbike Field at 79th Annual Loudon Classic.

Loudon, NH (June 16, 2002) – Eric Wood rode the new Buell Firebolt XB9R to its first national roadrace victory in the Formula USA Honda Pro Oils Sportbike final held at New Hampshire International Speedway. The race was Wood?s first outing aboard the Kosco Buell/Innovative Motorcycle Research Firebolt, and the first appearance of the team in the highly competitive horsepower and weight restricted class.

?This was a great start for the Firebolt,? said Wood, of Mansfield, Mass. ?We just got this bike two weeks ago and ran a club race last weekend to warm it up. The Firebolt has a lot of potential and we?re only going to get stronger as the season goes on.?

Facing a 45-bike field filled with Suzuki, Honda, Yamaha and Kawasaki riders, Wood was running a strong second when race leader Scott Greenwood (Suzuki) faltered on lap 19 of the 20-lap feature. Wood stormed into the lead and beat Suzuki riders Michael Barnes and Larry Pegram to the checkered flag.

?The Buell?s tractability and drive off the corners really worked for me at Loudon,? said Wood. ?In some turns I was able to put the Buell in places where the four-cylinder bikes couldn’t go. The Firebolt has the chassis dynamics of a Grand Prix bike, and the smooth power delivery of the V-Twin engine was really easy on the back tire. As the race worn on, I think my tire was holding up better and I was able to pull away from the field.?

BIKERNET MARRIAGE COUNSELING A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend a fortune.

“Well,” said the clerk, “I have a very large bullfrog. They say it’s been trained to give blowjobs!”

“Blowjobs!” the woman replied.

“It hasn’t been proven but we’ve sold 30 of them this month,” he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it’s true…no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy’s ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

“What are you two doing at this hour?” she asked. The husband replied, “If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone.

–from Nuttboy

FLAT TRACK CHAMPIONSHIPS–On the night of the 27th of July. AMA & Progressive Insurance are putting on the U.S. Flat Track Championships. This is a half mile event. It will at Lowes Motor Speedway’s half mile dirt track.

–Paul

AAA IS AT IT AGAIN, SUPPORTING HELMET LAWS IN MICHIGAN– They are saying the repeal of the helmet law here willincrease deaths and injuries in motorcycle accidents. Never mind that the accidents aremostly caused by fools driving cages. Never mind that car drivers will never wearhelmets, although if the AAA were right, it would save many more head injuries in caraccidents.

House Bill 4823, sponsored by Rep. Gene Dearest (R-Manchester), would remove themandatory helmet requirement for all riders and passengers 21 years of age or older, butdoes not require motorcycle riders to carry Personal Injury Protection (PIP) insurancecoverage. I hope the legislators keep their wits about them and pass this bill.

That’s one reason we support the Bros Club.

CRAZY HORSE DOES LACONIA–One of the wonderful aspects of the web is that we’re not confined when it comes to space. We can bring you more than one report on any given subject or event. Rogue’s Laconia report is up, here’s the Crazy Horse saga and shortly we’ll post T-bear’s sharp shots and his excuse of a story. You get three views on the third largest bike event in the country.–Bandit

I’m back. It was a wild and definately weird 11 days that involved 3 crazywomen ( 2 are me and Angie) ex boyfriends, new boyfriends, a vicious motherand daughter battle in Hershey Park, rainstorms, mud, drunks of all kinds,tons of bikes and cops, tumbling motorcycles, more mud, twisted goings on inthe no-tell motel, helicopers, new friends, old friends, court battles ofall kinds, more drunks, a broken heart (mine, my ’66 mustang was officallydeclared dead) and many, many miles of riding.

I was so sore from riding. I swear it was the riding that did it. Actually I was walking kinda funny. I’ve skied in Colorado 10days and didn’t get that sore. I can’t wait to count the gas slips so I cansee how many miles we rode ( speedo not working). Rode the Katamagus highwaytwice. Angie’s new boyfriend is a riding mutherfucker. He rode up to Laconiain a downpour and rode back in a rainstorm. We were a motley crew. I can’twait to see the pictures.

The cops left me alone, but they harassed nearly everyone else. Thehelicoper surveillance was a bit much. The Christmas Island Resort where westayed was the best. Burnouts and parties out front all night long, pristinelake and privacy out back.

I’ve got about a million e-mails to slog through, customers have put mypicture on their dartboards, the dog is fat as hell and needs walking, myhead is still fuzzy, and this place is a mess!! I need a vacation.

–Crazy Horse

URBAN LEGEND OR WAKE-UP CALL– ?This could be nothing more than an urban legend, but…Bob Renkes of Petroleum Equipment Institute is working on acampaign to try and make people aware of fires as a resultof “static” at gas pumps. ?His company has researched 150cases of these fires. ?His results were very surprising:

1) Out of 150 cases, almost all of them were women.

2) Almost all cases involved the person getting back intheir vehicle while the nozzle was still pumping gas, whenfinished and they went back to pull the nozzle out the firestarted, as a result of static.

3) Most had on rubber-soled shoes.

4) Most men never get back in their vehicle untilcompletely finished. This is why they are seldom involved inthese types of fires.

5) Don’t ever use cell phones when pumping gas.

6) It is the vapors that come out of the gas that causethe fire, when connected with static charges.

7) There were 29 fires where the vehicle was reenteredand the nozzle was touched during refueling from avariety of makes and models. ?Some resulting in extensivedamage to the vehicle, to the station, and to the customer.

8) Seventeen fires that occurred before, during orimmediately after the gas cap was removed and before fuelingbegan.

Mr. Renkes stresses to NEVER get back into your vehiclewhile filling it with gas. If you absolutely HAVE to get inyour vehicle while the gas is pumping, make sure you getout, close the door TOUCHING THE METAL, before you ever pullthe nozzle out. ?This way the static from your body willbe discharged before you ever remove the nozzle.

As I mentioned earlier, The Petroleum EquipmentInstitute, along with several other companies now, arereally trying to make the public aware of this danger. ?Youcan find out more information by going to. ?Once here, click in the center of thescreen where it says “Stop Static”.

MANDATORY RIDER TRAINING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE– Officials here are considering the implementation of rider courses inorder to get or retain the right to ride a motorcycle. Driving courses are required forcars and boats, but at present bikers don’t have to. 38 other states require rider edcourses now for young novice riders, but none of them require adults to pass a coursebefore getting a license.

New Hampshire is trying to make sure they will be able tooffer the courses to all 65,000 who need them before making the courses mandatory.

For more on motorcyclist rights and legislative news go to the Bikernet Rights Page.

FRIDAY MORNING APOLOGY– I blasted back to the headquarters after my crash course in fuel injection mods and feebly attempted to complete the news to no avail. I was toast and Layla and this nasty blond were buzzing around me as if I had abandoned them for a week. I ordered a jack on the rocks and a burrito for dinner. I got the Jack but with stale Chinese food. I couldn’t seem to muster the energy to buckle down and finish the news, so here it is. Don’t ask me what I did last night.

I’ll work on a Springer technology piece that involves rake and trail today. We should launch another Amazing Shrunken FXR piece today and a fresh Digital Discover piece in the Cantina. Then I’ll sneak out to the garage and fix the master cylinder on the Touring Chopper. It’s a Hurst unit and has a Teflon piston. I suspect that the DOT 5 fluid makes it swell and begin to bind in the master cylinder body. This is the second or third time that I’ve been forced to trim it with wet and dry, replace the o-ring and peel out. Have a helluva weekend and don’t forget sex. Where’s Sin? I love to celebrate another completed deadline.–Bandit

LEARNING FUEL INJECTION–

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I’m daft when it comes to fuel injection and even moreso after listening to Mark, the man who developed the Dyno-Jet Dyno and has now developed the DFO, Digital Fuel Optimizer for RevTech. This particular unit varies the the pulse length of the injectors and does not fool with the timing. Over 4,000 of these units are on the market now and will allow each owner the flexibility to massage as you make more changes or modification to your bike’s performance package.

According to Mark they will work equally well on the ’97 to ’99 Morali units and fuel injection systems on later model bikes.

AMERICASRIDE–Bandit, I met with the chairman of this last night. They are really goingto make this happen and have some serious players coming to the table tosupport the cause. This is the charity that this ridebenefits: www.wtcmf.org – the World Trade Center Miracles Foundation.Mitch is extremely well connected and a giant biker teddy bear of a person.

There’s a bunch of Harley dealers involved now and the interest is explodingall over the country. The media is swarming all over it too, but this guyMitch is so cool he ain’t about being a hound, ya know. He’s in check withtheir requests and refuses to speak from a political POV because since he issupporting the workers and victims directly with no middle man, you canimagine the media is all over this, especially since he’s created a fund tohelp the folks that have gotten deathly sick from inhaling the toxins. Man,he’s paying these people’s rent because they can’t get government $$…www.americasride2002.com.

I’m going on the run. It’s such an amazing cause. I’ll tell you moreabout my visit to Ground Zero the other day…do you know that 2/3 of theworkers from Ground Zero ride motorcycles. There are Harley stickers andt-shirts everywhere down there.Check it out..

–Sasha

SIR GALAHAD–King Arthur was in Merlin’s laboratory where the good wizard was showinghim his latest invention. It was a chastity belt, except it had arather large hole in the most obvious place. “This is no good, Merlin!”the king exclaimed, “Look at this opening. How is this supposed toprotect m’lady, the Queen?”

“Ah, sire, just observe,” said Merlin. He then selected his most wornout wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it inthe gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotineblade came down and cut it neatly in two.

“Merlin, you are a genius!” said the grateful monarch. “Now I canleave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.”

After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon hisQuest.

Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately heassembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop theirtrousers for an informal ‘short arm’ inspection. Sure enough, each andevery one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All ofthem, except Sir Galahad.

“Sir Galahad,” exclaimed King Arthur. “My one and only true knight!Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in mypower to grant you? Name it and it is yours!”

But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless

–from Ray R.

BARNES DOMINATES BUELL LIGHTNING SERIES RACE AT LOUDON–Florida Racer Scores Third Consecutive Victory in Buell Spec Series

Loudon, NH (June 16, 2002) – Michael Barnes rode his Kosco Harley-Davidson/Buell-Innovative Motorcycle Research Buell Lightning X1 to an easy win at the Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories, event at New Hampshire International Speedway. The victory gives Barnes a three-race sweep of the eight-race series so far this season.

?We?ve had a great set-up on the Buell that we developed at Loudon last year, and we?ve hardly touched it since then,? said Barnes. ?This is a real rider?s track and I was just able to attack it really hard. (Team owner) Rich Cronrath gives me a great bike.?

Barnes and his fuel-injected Lightning X1 dominated all weekend. In qualifying on June 15, Barnes set the pace in pouring rain with a best lap of 1:28.406 seconds over runner-up Harley-Davidson/Buell of Frederick rider Bryan Bemisderfer of Greencastle, Pa., who recorded a best lap of 1:30.551 around the bumpy, technical road course.

THE REDNECK– A redneck walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Budweiser andsits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the barand orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a mug goes flat after Idraw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The redneck replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is inAustralia, the other is in Dublin, and I’m here in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way toremember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The redneck becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders just two mugs. All the regulars takenotice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “Idon’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”

The redneck looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just thatmy wife had us join the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking…Hasn’t affected my brothers though.

–from Chris T.

??? Hot Bike presents the White BrothersLos Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show Sponsored by Bikernet.com Exciting 2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set forJuly 20 -21st at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach.There’s lot’s of exciting new things happening for the rapidly approaching 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show produced by Gianatsis Design and set for July 20-21st weekend at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA. The Show is really coming together with 120 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets.

Show producer Jim Gianatsis is excited to announce that sponsor Performance Machine, the world’s leading manufacturer of motorcycle braking, control and wheel systems, is providing the exciting new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy for the Calendar Bike Contest featuring and engraved brake caliper and disc mounted in a billet machined alloy base stand. This annual trophy is destined to become the premier award in the industry to strive for by America’s top bike builders.

And of course, the Calendar Bike Show Show features the most competitive Bike Contest on the West Coast with it?s prestigious new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance.

And one of the models will be Miss Great Britain Nicki Lane, who the weekend before will be one of our official SBK FastDates.com Girls at Laguna Seca World Superbike. Other models scheduled to appear include beautiful Bonnie-Jill Laflin featured in a the current July 2002 issue of FHM magazine in a 5 page pictorial, and FastDates.com Calendar girl and Perfect 10 magazine model Taylor McKegney.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning. Show activities all weekend will be hosted by motoscribe Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by LA’s hottest new performance show band Powder who will blow you away with their electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

The Art Exhibit— A couple is attending an art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.

As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, “Can I help you with this painting? I’m the artist who painted it.”

The man says “Well, we like the painting but don’t understand why you have 3 African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have a black penis.”

The Irish artist says, “Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They’re not African men, they are Irish coal miners, and the one in the middle went home for lunch”.

–from Nuttboy

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BIKERNET PROJECTOR ROOM UPDATE–

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We have been talking to Conrad, and he sent hisscript for ASPHALT COWBOYS, which we really dug. I spoke to him again thismorning about making some changes and combining it with the other scriptthat we like, so that we can have a real ensemble cast with a lot of actorfriends we know who ride. He had sent me a list of people interested inbeing in the film and we both thought Danny Trejo would be perfect forBlister. This will really help in getting sponsors and media behind thefilm, as well.

Conrad is open to working with us and I hope to get the samelevel of support from the other writer that we have been talking too. Itseems that we all have a lot of friends in common who ride and as soon as Iget the final draft of the Business Plan done, I’d like you to take a lookat it. We were thinking that you might consider being a consultant on thefilm, as we want to keep it real and feel like your experience would reallyhelp make it a better film.

A lot ofriders kind of fall into a particular slice and are content to stay there,but what we like about the whole story is that people who ride come from allwalks of life, old/young, rich/poor, educated/uneducated, naive/streetsmart. The commonality is the love of riding, the personal and physicalsense of freedom, the camaraderie, the solitude, the call of the road andthat amazing V-Twin machine.

Take care and I’ll try to stay in touch. Maybe we can hook up at the showin Long Beach or will you be crazy busy then?

–L.N., producer

WEEKLY CANTINA GIVEAWAY–Our newest winner is:
Kurt Gregory from Demotte, IN
Wanted: i wanna century motorcycles t-shirt

Well he gets it, compliments of the beautiful Cindy Rutherford, DMN. She was thrilled to learn someone from Indiana even knew about her shop. Be sure to clink on the Century logo to find out more about the shop and Cindy.

Congrats Kurt!
Sin

BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE–One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom makinglove. All of the sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroomwindow. As the young lady parted her legs the bee enteredher vagina. The woman started screaming, “Oh my god, helpme, there’s a bee in my vagina!” The husband immediatelytook her to the local doctor and explained the situation.

The doctor thought for a moment and said, “Hmm, trickysituation. But I have a solution to the problem if youwould permit me, sir.”

The husband, being very concerned, agreed that the doctorcould use whatever method to get the bee out of hiswife’s vagina. The doctor said, “Okay, what I’m gonnado is rub some honey over the top of my penis andinsert it into your wife’s vagina. When I feel thebee I’ll withdraw my penis and the bee should followmy penis out of your wife’s vagina.”

The husband nodded and gave his approval. The younglady said, “Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it!”

So the doctor covered the tip of his penis with honeyand inserted it into the young lady’s vagina. Aftera few gentle strokes, the doctor said, “I don’t thinkthe bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should goa bit deeper.” So the doctor went deeper and deeper.After a while the doctor began shafting the younglady very hard indeed.

The young lady began to quiver with excitement. Shebegan to moan and groan aloud.

The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he wasenjoying himself. He then put his hands on the younglady’s breasts and started making loud noises.

At this point the husband suddenly became very annoyedand shouted, “Now wait a minute! What the hell doyou think you’re doing?”

The doctor, still concentrating, replied, “Change of plan.I’m gonna drown the bastard!”

–from Ray R.

NEW BIG DOG RUNS AVONS–That’s right, some of the best custom motorcycles in the world run Avon Tyres. In this case Avon enjoys doing business with Big Dog, “It’s a first class company,” Larry Hoppe said today regarding Big Dog. Larry heads up sales and marketing for Avon in North America “We have supplied tires to Big Dog for several years. They are the kind of people we like to do business with.”

I remember when the only 21-inch tire on the road was the ribbed Avon. Classic tyres for classic and custom bikes.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Maybe it’s me but time is flying, June is almost history and the gears thatmake Sturgis happen are running full speed. I guess this is how we grow oldand don’t even notice, it’s always one thing after another, sometimeswithout even getting a chance to enjoy what we have. I was talking to afriend of ours that works for an airline, he was bitchin’ about the placeshe had to fly to during the next week. Most of us were thinking aboutsomething to do in each place, while he was bitching, since he saw it aswork.

It’s like working late every day just to be able to have a ride ready forthe next season. Most people can’t wait to get home and work on it andenjoy their garage time, I happen to see it as work. I guess that it’sdifferent and things become tedious when you “have to do it”. Some of us spend so many hours doing what we must do, that we forgetthose minutes of doing what we want to. I’m sure our friend would love togo and ride all over the Black Hills and I would not mind at all flying toBrasil and hanging out for a day, no shop, no bikes, no worries.

Anyway, nopeI’m not bitching about what I do. I like it and chose to do it, but it getsa bit boring sometimes. That’s why we build new bikes, write articles andgo thru the major pain of taking our bikes to far away places, to changeour pace and change the scene.

Sometimes people ask me why I don’t ridethat much? Simple, when you are around bikes six days a week for over 12hours a day, all you want to do is sit back and relax.

Even our “vacations” are based on bike stuff, and Itget’s harder to escape as time goes by. I’m not saying I’m good, but to begood at what you are doing you have to spend a lot of time doing it. Inother words, work your fuckin’ ass off.

I used to sail competitively andsailed so much that it became something that I was forced to do, so much that Istarted dreading the whole thing. Now that I don’t have time for it, I missthe fun and the places we visited.

I do like whatI’m doing and have enjoyed all that I have done, every effort has been worth it, and every decision a lesson learned. Idon’t believe in killing myself to make money. I’d rather be filthy rich instories to tell. I would rather travel around the world than have the moneyin the bank, and I bet so would you. That’s why we ride.

Okay, goddamnit, Jose, I got the point. Drink a fifth of Jack and fuck off for a day, you need it.–Bandit

This upcoming Sunday TLC will show Monster Garage at 8:00 eastern time, weheard that Jesse James and Billy Lane will create some weird mechanicalstuff….Can’t wait to see what they are up to.

The Jack Daniels BBQ competition will take place this Sunday at the LuisMu?oz Marin park, like every year the event will have a solid bikerepresentation and free BBQ to al those who pay the entrance. We will haveour usual booth and a few dozen choppers, photos of the event will be herenext week.

I don’t want to let the cat outta the bag, but I know who elsewill be featured in the new Motorcycle Mania 3 besides Billy Lane. I’mgoing to wait ’till next week. There will be a West vs East kinda thing,and we know that Discovery will almost for sure be present at the HORSE’sSMSO( Geno says 99% sure). Nope they are not coming to Puerto Rico, yet.

Our friends from the island of Curacao paid us a visit at the shop thisweek, we were talking about the new custom bikes that they are building ,their rides and new clubs. They are planning a ferry ride to Venezuela andsort of a bike week end for next year.We will report as soon as they do. Chopper fever is hitting all theislands, cool.

We also heard from our friends on the West side of the island. They aremeeting every Thursday night and are reaching the hundred mark. There’sgossip that they drag race at night at an undisclosedlocation. We will have to venture one of this days and see in person whatit’s all about.

Our friends from the military in the eastern town of Ceiba are boosting their biker numbers. We have reports of over 90 Harleys on base. I know that they can raise some hell. We will be featuring somethingpretty soon here and in The HORSE on their favorite watering hole,Papa Joe’s.

Also we want to wish a safe trip and so long to our friend Mark, he wastransfered to Bolivia and won’t be back to our sunny shores.We gave him a Sam Chopper Orwell book for his trip, a few magazines andBikernet’s address, no choppers in Bolivia yet.

I’m outta here. We have gobbled really late nights in the shop this past two weeks. Between WorldCup soccer and WCC’s 4th bike, we’re pooped. When the bike is complete all will be back to normal, if such thing exists.

–Jose,
Caribbean “Island Chopper Master Mon”
Bikernet reporter

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DEER ARE BIKER TERRORISTS–SUICIDE BOMBERS OF SORTS

Biker Babe Bra designed by Ray Russell.

It was scheduled to be a mellow week until she answered the phone. We were forced to put our clothes on and go to work. In an hour I’ll pull the touring chopper out of the garage and head to Joker machine for a dyno testing fuel injection study with Kip and some of his brothers from Custom Chrome. I’ll try to learn something about fuel injected bikes in the process. But let’s see what I can hammer out in the meantime.

JOKER MACHINE SPONSORS BIKE SHOW–If you live in the Duarte area, Los Angeles County or Orange County come on down to the Grand Opening of Route 66 Roadhouse & Tavern, 1846 E. Huntington Drive, Duarte, CA 91010, (626) 357-4210. The show begins at 4:00 and I saw the billet trophies Richard of Joker Machine designed while I was at their facility today–Killer. The Classes available are Vintage, Xl/Buell, Dresser and Metric Cruiser in addition to Best Production Based Custom and Best Pro-Built Custom.

DEER ATTACKS MOTORCYCLISTS– Memorial weekend in Minnesota. The day started out cloudy with a chance of showers, I kept my ear to the radio and even called KSTP radiostation to get a current update on the weather for the rest of the day. At about 1PM the clouds blew out and Lori and I mounted the Harley for a fun filledand hopefully event free tour of the tree greening on both the Minnesota and Wisconsin borders.

We cruised down Hwy 61 and crossed into Wisc. atLacrosse and continued on Wisc. Hwy 35. We stopped for a burger and both commented that we hoped the temp would get over the 65 degree mark andthat the sun would continue to shine. It felt a little cool when the big glow went behind a cloud.

We were heading northon Wisc 35. I stopped at a stop sign In Alma , and, was just taching up, running up the gears, about 50 MPH when Lori yelled in my ear…DEER, DEER… I caught the sight of three deer immediately to my right..I saw the head of one doe almost to the right foot hwy peg. I throttled that Ultra withall it had…I knew that If I T- boned that piece of shit, we would both be a memory for the kids. Then the whack. The doe had hit the right side of the bike and Lor’s right leg. The next second or two is still very unclear. All I know is that Igrabbed and pulled in the clutch, let go of the throttle, threw my legs out for balance, straightened my arms on the bar and held on for dear (?) life.

The bigcruiser swerved hard to the left then hard to the right with a force I never want to feel again. It hit with such velocity that it pushed us into the on cominglane. Lori, was holding me tight around the waist…Yelling, “it?s broken….my leg is broken”. Some way, somehow, with a higher power, divineintervention and a guardian angel on my shoulder, I kept that Ultra Classic on its wheels. As I pulled the Harley to the side ofthe road, Lori was screaming, “my leg is broken. “I can hear it clicking”.

I Got off and one armed this petite 130 pound woman off the bike…and laid her flaton the ground. I knew that If I raised her legs the pain would be intense, and might cause further damage…even though she was going into shock.

I covered her with my leathers and grabbed the cell phone from the bike, punched in 911. When the dispatcher answered it was the MN.State patrol. (These towns are right on the MN/Wisc border). He tried twice to switch me to the Wisc side without success. Appreciated the effort.

Within the next few seconds, car drivers immediately behind us stopped. One happened to be a off duty para-medic. The drivers whowitnessed the hit immediately turned around and got the Deputy Sheriff in town. The following few minutes were NOT TV. Additional fire Dept. personnel,Volunteers, caring concerned drivers were stopping to assist. All I could hear and feel was Lori?s pain and the radios crackling, ?Biker down, Hwy 35 and25?. ?When will the ambulance arrive?. I was nuts not being able to do something for Lori?s pain except hold her hand. These people were and are the pros. She was loaded on the gurney and slid into the ambulance. I got on the damaged yet driveable Harley and followed it to the nearby Hospital In Wabasha, MN.

As I was turning the bike around the dead doe was lying in the ditch…. R. I. P.

Again, at the hospital , the professionalism showed through. I was assured by all that she will be in good hands. I had no doubt. I told her Iloved her and, that I would be back in a few hours to get her. I drove that bike hard for that two hour ride to St. Paul. All I could hear over those loudHarley pipes were her cries of pain. All I could see was the head of that deer going hell bent right for me to my right. One damn long ride. Grabbed the car to return to Wabasha.

On the insurance check sheet it asks in a Bike Incident if helmets were worn. No one asks or cares if fencing was in place to prevent animals from wandering into the street. The lord knows we have more laws than we need. I sure as hell don’t want any more, but fencing or some means of keeping these idiots from causinghuman bodily harm should be closely looked at….NOW.

Legislation requiring fencing, barbed wire, whatever, not a silly little yellow sign in the higherdeer areas has got to be inacted now before another human is needlessly killed to the tune of a brainless animal. Bikers have enough to watch out for.Drivers concentrating on there tunes, talking on there cell phones and paying attention to there kids or eating. NOT paying attention to cycles or othervehicles on either side or behind. Loud pipes do save lives.?

–Bob Powell
612.719.0571 Cell

BETSY SUE– Betsy Sue, Jim Bob’s cousin Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Daryl said, ‘Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad, but lemme check somethin’. Roll him over.’

So the mortician rolled him over, and Daryl looked and said, ‘Nope it ain’t Bubba.’ The mortician thought that was rather strange.

Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, ‘Yup, he’s burnt real bad. Roll him over’. The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, ‘No, it ain’t Bubba.’

The mortician asked, ‘How can you be so sure?’ Gomer said, ‘Well, Bubba had two assholes.’

‘What?? He had two assholes?’ said the mortician.

‘Yup, everyone in town knew he had ’em. Why, every time WE went to town, folks would say, ‘Here comes Bubba with them two assholes…..’

–from Nuttboy

WELCOME GLEN GRIFFIN ? “NEW” PRESIDENT AT PURE STEEL–Glen Griffin is President, Chair, and Chief Executive Officer of Pure Steel Custom Cycles Inc. ? ?Glen was elected CEO in 1999 and became President in April 2002. ? ?A supporter of Pure Steel since 1995, Glen has a long history in high quality manufacturing.

Glen has over 30 years experience in senior executive assignments, creating, developing, and manufacturing superior products. ? ?Prior to joining Pure Steel, Glen was president of Consolidated Electronics, Darius Technology, Retail Automation, 3i Internet, and Traditional Clothing Manufacturers. ? ?Glen also served as Chief Marketing Officer of Key Tronic, Serenity Group, Cascade Medical, Syntel Communications (AT&T), Oregon Biotechnology, Gascard, Manta Systems, Remanco, and Rapid American (Sara Lee).

Glen is a visiting university instructor on marketing communications, ethics, business development, and quality. ? ?He is on the board of many companies and a frequent speaker and guest on television and radio shows discussing economic development, consumer behavior, corporate culture, and emerging technologies.

Glen is a lousy rider? and driver, though. ? ?We have to chauffer him everywhere. ? ?But he does a good job standing in the shop and sitting at his desk. ? ?When you are in Phoenix, feel free to stop by and meet the old man.

NIGHTRAIN TECH COMING, NEW TECH COMING–I talked to Jim. I am going to be taking digital pictures of the Nightrain I am going to start working on late this week. Before/during and after.

Also, as a result of necessity, I created a new product yesterday. We’ve been swapping parts around to see what looks the best and I installed a set of Deuce risers on Jim’s Softail standard which has narrow drag bars. It really brings the bars back so you don’t have to reach (all 3 of us are tall), but not to far back. Just before the speedo and and the controls run about 3/8″ above the gas caps.

It looks sweet. I’ll e-mail you a picture. They are polished billet adapters. I’ll get the next batch chromed. I think I am going to be running Deuce risers anytime that a customer wants drag bars. They just have a certain look.

–Bret

Continued On Page 2

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS

Compiled and Edited by BILL BISH,National Coalition of Motorcyclists

NEW MEXICO BIKERS BEAT NOISE LAW

Arguably one of the most onerous laws ever passed against motorcyclists was recently modified in favor of a more reasonable approach to the issue of noise. Following a peaceful demonstration by New Mexico motorcyclists who attended an Albuquerque City Counsel meeting in May, the counsel voted unanimously to amend the city’s current noise ordinance. It now states that:

“No person shall operate a motorcycle, which exceeds 99 dB, measured in accordance with SAE stationary test method J1287 or similar Department-approved method.”

“We have lobbied extensively with the city to repeal the part of the noise ordinance that states that motorcycle pipes must be labeled as made for the year, make and model of your bike,” said Barbara Alvar, Chairman of the NEW MEXICO MOTORCYCLE RIGHTS ORGANIZATION (NMMRO). “Essentially this says that if you ever replace your exhaust with anything other than stock pipes, you are breaking the law!”

The ordinance also measured the cumulative noise level of all motorcycles in a group, not just individual loud bikes, so an entire pack could be stopped and ticketed, effectively making it illegal to ride in groups.

New Mexico motorcyclists are still working with the city of Albuquerque on other traffic codes, such as repealing their handlebar height restrictions. Under New Mexico’s unique “Home Rule” provisions that allow communities to pass laws even if they conflict with state laws, the city of Albuquerque traffic code imposes a handlebar height limit, even though state statute was recently repealed.

ARIZONA MOTORCYCLES TO GET EMISSIONS EXEMPTION

Lawmakers in Arizona have decided to give motorcycles a pass from the state’s mandatory emissions test, the only state that requires motorcyclists to pass such testing.

“On May 6th our Emissions Bill HB 2501, which puts us as a ‘priority’ for the state DEQ (Department of Environmental Quality) to consider removal of motorcycles from the emissions testing prior to any plan submission to EPA, was signed by Governor Jane Dee Hull,” wrote Roger “Priest” Hurm, Chairman of the Board for the MMA of Arizona and member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) board of directors.

The motorcycle exemption was backed by a variety of motorcycle clubs and organizations. Bobbi Hartman, a lobbyist for ABATE of Arizona, told THE ARIZONA REPUBLIC newspaper that motorcycles are only a small fraction of the vehicle fleet. Besides, she commented, the state’s emissions test isn’t designed to properly test motorcycles.

State records show that 26 percent of the motorcycles taking the test in 2000 failed while cars flunked at the rate of 16 percent, and opponents of the testing are quick to point out that those figures come from an idle test that is not a good gauge of motorcycle performance.

“Going to New Orleans was Good Luck for us,” said Priest, referring to the bill being signed by the governor during their recent trip to the NCOM Convention in Louisiana.

Also during the Convention, on May 9th, SB 1026 was signed into law guaranteeing and dedicating the $1.00 taken from each motorcycle registration to be spent for safety and education. “For 21 years, about $80,000 a year was taken and used by the ADOT for whatever,” said Priest. “Our re-dedication effort has been successful and we are now finally in position to control our money to save lives.”

WASHINGTON BIKERS WIN TWO — TWO TO GO!

Buoyed by recent successes, ABATE OF WASHINGTON approached this year’s legislative session as pro’s in the political process. And they came away with yet another win.

Two years ago, Washington became one of only a handful of states to repeal their handlebar height law. This time around, bikers lobbied successfully for their right to use “Blue Dot” tail lights, so-called because a blue crystal mounted in the center of the lens cover emits a bluish hue when actuated. Many riders use them for conspicuity, but most states’ traffic codes specify that a tail light must be red in color, and therefore they are illegal.

But the Washington State Legislature apparently agreed with the motorcycling professionals, passing the bill unanimously through both the House and Senate, and it was signed by the governor on March 27.

“Handle Bars two years ago and Blue Dot this year, next is Helmet and Discrimination Bills,” said Rich Bright, Legislative Director for ABATE of Washington. “It won’t be long and it will be legal to ride with Blue Dots in Washington, removing one more reason to stop me in my free travel across the state.”

COURT SIDES WITH BIKERS: SONOMA FAIR DRESS CODE UNCONSTITUTIONAL

A state appeals court ruled in San Francisco that a dress code used to keep a Hells Angels Motorcycle Club member out of the Sonoma County Fair in 1998 violated the California Constitution.

Stephen Gatto was ejected from the fairgrounds in Santa Rosa by two city police officers on Aug. 1, 1998, because he was wearing a vest that carried the insignia of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club. The officers told him the vest was not allowed under the fair’s dress code. The code barred clothing “intended to provoke, offend or intimidate” others, including “offensive slogans, insignia or gang colors.”

In a case pursued by the Confederation of Clubs of Northern California, A.I.M. Attorneys Harris B. Taback and Joseph Wiseman successfully sued Sonoma County on behalf of Mr. Gatto. On May 24, a three-judge panel of the state Court of Appeal unanimously ruled that the dress code violated the state constitutional right of free speech because it was vague and too broad.

Justice Anthony Kline wrote in the ruling that the phrase “intended to provoke, offend or intimidate others” was so broad that it would be impossible for a citizen to determine what clothing items would be considered by a law enforcement official to be covered by the phrase.

Kline wrote, “These operative criteria are so highly subjective as to provide enforcement authorities almost unfettered license to decide what the dress code permits and prohibits.”

According to Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) Founder, Richard Lester, who’s law practice and A.I.M. Attorney network has represented numerous bikers on discrimination issues, “The court decided that the 14th Amendment’s equal protection provisions precludes the government from excluding a person that is wearing club insignia from the public fair. Because the court published the decision, it can and will be cited as precedence in similar statewide cases, and other states can take judicial notice of the ruling.”

The appeals court upheld a trial court judgment awarding Gatto damages and attorney’s fees.

“The California Appellate Court has ruled that Mr. Gatto has the right to enjoy the County Fair while wearing the clothing of his choice,” said attorney Taback. “The Gatto appellate decision has been published by the Court, which means it can be relied on throughout the State of California by all of you to be secure in this right — you can wear your club’s insignia in a Public event as long as it does not present a clear and present danger of grave and imminent harm. So says the Appellate Court in Stephen Gatto v. County of Sonoma.”

In more good news, Taback and Wiseman have settled a similar claim for the Confederation of Clubs of Monterey Bay on behalf of members of Ancient Iron Motorcycle Club who got tossed from the Mushroom Festival in Morgan Hill, California. This settlement occurred after the A.I.M. Attorneys filed suit and began fighting for the club members’ rights in court.

Following the outcome of the appellate ruling, five Hells Angels who say they were kicked out of the 2001 Shasta District Fair for wearing their group’s logo filed a federal lawsuit against the fair board on Wednesday, June 12, the first day of the event’s 2002 run.

WIERD NEWS OF THE MONTH: POLICE NAME DRAWS LAUGHTER

Quebec criminals can’t stop laughing at the new name for Ontario’s police biker squad, a Canadian biker specialist says.

The initials for Ontario’s revamped biker squad, the Biker Enforcement Unit (BEU), are an insulting slang term for police in Quebec, Guy Ouellette, according to THE TORONTO STAR. “If you ask any French bad guys, they never call the police officers’police’,” said Ouellette, a retired member of the Quebec provincial police biker squad. “They call them ‘Pigs’ or ‘Beu.'”

“‘Beu’ means cop and it’s not a respectful thing.”

Ouellette said he grimaced when he heard the new initials for Ontario’s special biker unit, which had been called the Provincial Special Squad until last week. “When you pronounce that name in Quebec, everybody laughs,” Ouellette said.

Detective-Inspector Don Bell of the biker squad said he’s not concerned. “I’m not into acronyms,” Bell said. “The name change reflects our mandate.”

QUOTABLE QUOTES:

“Our target customer is unlikely to drive a motorcycle,” said Elena Ford, a fifth generation brand manager at Ford Motor Company who was jarred by the opening image of an ad depicting a Grand Marquis towing a motorcycle.

As brand manager for Ford Motor’s struggling Mercury car line, she is trying to reverse a serious sales skid in its most profitable model: the Grand Marquis, a big cruiser favored by the Geritol set. An adman counters that their research “index” finds Grand Marquis drivers “show a 100 percent propensity for buying motorcycles.”

She cuts him off. “I really don’t care where it indexes. It just doesn’t fit. They’re 70 years old, and they’re not driving motorcycles.”

–NEWSWEEK

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THE SEAS SEEM CALM, BUT WHAT’S AROUND THE BEND

Continued From Page 3

BIKERNET MANHUNT–
Looking for guy with bikernet,com patch
Lookin for guy that was at Milw Lkfrnt, June 8, who wore vest w/bikernet.com patch, smoked a pipe, and who looked right thru me, then walked away. Remember the fireworks? (Tall brunette) Scared? Boo!
Contact beth
E-Mail: winchesterbeth@hotmail.com
Phone: 847 269 0204
Fax: none
State: Illinois
Date Posted: 6/9/2002

Jokers need not call or reply. This is a real add from the Bikernet.com Classifieds Section.

OLDER THAT DIRT–My Dad was cleaning out my grandmother’s house and he brought mean old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with abunchof holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea.

She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something.I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to sprinkle the clothes with when you ironed them. Back then, they didn’t have steam irons.

BANDIT’S CANTINA IS A STRANGE PLACE–By joining you support all of Bikernet and get a ticket to the nasty inner sanctum where the girls are naked, the games take you away from the humdrum, the Drama takes you to the bar and you can read my latest project novel. There’s even a horoscope and sexual advice if you need it. No matter what it is, it’s strange.

And The Winner Is—–We say every week but as you’ll see, we’ve been slacking. Cantina members enter a drawing to win valuable prizes! Scott Armstrong of Santa Rosa, Ca was the newest winner and he gets a Bandit’s Bedroll. First he asked nicely then got a little pushy. Whatever it takes to get our attention. In a contest there has to be some losers but these guys had some funny submissions. Take a look—

Scott Armstrong
Santa Rosa, CA
Wanted: Bandit bedroll to replace the one that some fucker stole off my scoot !

Scott Armstrong
Santa Rosa, CA
Wanted: Bandit bedroll you cheap ass bastards. New winner every week my ass ! Get to fucking work you lazy a holes !

And now the losers—

Patrick Fegan
Mt.Juliet, Tennessee
Wanted: I have told you guys countless fucking times what I want. I want an autographed picture of Sin Wu.

GENE VENORSKY
BRUNSWICK, OHIO
Wanted: A JESSE JAMES CREATION WITH CHINA ON THE BACK NAKED

MATTHEW HALBISEN
FREMONT, OHIO
Wanted: BIKERNET TEE – X-LARGE OH YEAH… GUNS ARE NICE!

William Creeley
Lawrence , Massachusetts
Wanted: wishing for the ultimate in a two-passenger fat boy seat. Needs to be comfortable on long all day rides for both my large ass and her little ass.

Jim Cox
Lakewood, Ca
Wanted: Fuck, I dunno! Surprise me! (no canned tuna…)

Henry Holcomb
Jersey Shore, Pa
Wanted: a super “B” carb for my shovelhead or a new old lady, can have mine in trade.

Only in the Cantina~~ Oz

FATHER’S DAY MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY BIKE SHOW–JOIN US ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY JUNE 15-16 FROM 9:00 AM TO 6:00 PM (FATHER’SDAY WEEKEND) FOR THE MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY BIKE SHOW AND RAFFLE

ALL WEEKEND LONG
-Special discounts up to 50% off
-Storewide merchandise discount of 20% off
-Music and entertainment
-Patch sewing by Mikey Trikey
-Food and Beverages

SATURDAY EVENTS
-BIKE SHOW (Entry $10.00…Free with purchase of MDA Bike Raffle Ticket)
-Classes
(a) Custom
(b) Antique (Shovels and back)
Entries from 10:00 AM-12:00 Noon

SUNDAY EVENTS
-Bike Raffle-$50/Ticket. Only 1000 Tickets Sold! (There are some left)
1st Prize: 2002 Custom Fatboy ($25,000 value)
2nd Prize: 2002 Buell Blast ($5,500 value)
3rd Prize: $1500 in Merchandise

ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT THE MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY. CALL 630 834 6571 FOR FURTHERDETAILS, TO REGISTER FOR THE BIKE SHOW AND TO PURCHASE RAFFLE TICKETS.
HOPE TO SEE YOU AT THE PARTY. THIS WILL BE A HUGE EVENT!!!!

–OZZIE
CEO-DEALER PRINCIPAL

Where the hell is this place? –Bandit

It is the hell over here:
Harley-Davidson of Villa Park
120 West North Avenue
Villa Park, IL 60181
630-834-6571

BIKERNET LACONIA REPORT–I left Florida Saturday morning for Laconia. It started raining about 30 miles into the trip and lasted all the way into South Carolina. When it cleared up I was able to make up some of the time.

The bike is running Great and am now at friends house in Connecticut. Will be leaving here Wednesday and will be in Laconia in 3-3 ? hours after that.

Will keep you informed as to what is happening and get you a few shots.

–ROGUE

SWEDISH SPORT–
RIGID SWEDISH SPORTSTER
Paughco?s latest addition to the world?s largest line of custom and replacement frames for Harley-Davidson motorcycles comes in the form of this stretched RIGID SWEDISH SPORTSTER. The follow-up to their hugely popular Swedish chassis for Big Twins, feature 3? stretch in the backbone and a full 6? in the legs.

The SWEDISH SPORT is designed to fit `86 to present Sportsters, can be ordered with 30, 35 or 40 degree rake, and is fit with stock style neck and no tabs. This particular model accepts 130 rubber but a ?wide? model is on the way. For complete details on this and the complete line of Paughco frames, springers, exhaust systems and more call 775-246-5738. www.paughco.com

DALLAS IN JUNE– We just wanted to remind everyone about the June 16 Dallas Swap Meet at the airconditioned Long Horn Ballroom in Dallas.Bargain Hunters Beware!

You can find:Traveling Parts Discounters – Garage Clean-Outs – Parts Distributors “Over Runs” – Off Season Leather Goods – Cheap Used Parts – “Take Off” Parts and Accessories!

Also: Live Band – Parts and Party – Door Prizes – Antique M/C Show

GATES OPEN AT: 11 am

Directions: The Longhorn Ballroom is located on the corner of Industrial Blvd. and Corinth. Take the Industrial Blvd. Exit from I-30 or I-35 where they cross in Downtown Dallas and go South 5 Blocks.Vendor Space Still Available!For more info visit www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066

Don’t forget about the Summer Championships “Saturday Nite” Under the Lights JUNE 22 at River City Raceway- San Antonio, Texas. Featuring Nitro Harleys and 28 Sportsman Classes for ANY Type of Harley.

Gates Open at 3pm and track opens at 4:30pm- Eliminations at 8pm.

Directions: From Houston- Take I-10 W. to the Santa Clara exit and turn Right. From DFW- Take I-35 South until you reach the TX-1604 Loop/Anderson Loop S. and exit. Turn left on I-10 East/U.S. 90 East Ramp and take I-10 E. to the Santa Clara Road Exit.

For More info visit: www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066

DEAR SON–>An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden,but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in Prison. The old man wrote a letter to hisson and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, “For HEAVEN’S SAKE Dad, don’t dig up thatgarden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!”

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen police showed up and dug up the entiregarden, without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him whathappened, and asking him what to do next. His son’s reply was: “Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It’s the best I could do at thistime.”

–from Chris T.

IT’S A WRAP–I mutter something about shutting down, going for a ride or some escapism each week, but as soon as the news is launched there’s something else that pops up.

Have a good time goddamnit. Get out of the house, drag the bike out of the garage and hit the streets before terrorism, and street gangs make it impossible to reach that stripper’s pad across town. Hell, even if you make it, she’s waiting with the latest VD that will torture you for the rest of your life. I need a drink.–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THE SEAS SEEM CALM, BUT WHAT’S AROUND THE BEND

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OFFICIAL BIKERNET REAL ESTATE AGENT–We made a determined effort to find a bike riding agent to handle a real estate deal to provide flop houses for traveling readers and bikernet staff. Of course she wants us to go for a ride first–to the 100th anniversary of H-D. Here’s Carol Gilles latest notion:”Maybe it’s not Irwindale, but California Speedway? Or something..anyway,that’t the 100th Anniversary tour stop in Calif – Sept 6-8? Check outwww.hog.com.Arizona – different in the North than the Southern Desert.Consider your ride a “treat/reward” after you’ve done some good writing.”

“By the way, I won’t give up on you Bandit.I hang on, until my customers “buy or die”.Enjoy your rides & be safe!”

Carol Gilles
The RealEstate Group
310-540-5231
email: Carol@CarolGilles.com
Carol’s Great website: www.carolgilles.com

Subject: A truly great moon shot!

BIKERNET WORLD REPORT–Thanks again for letting me borrow your photos for my dad’s MS BIBI website.They are great quality and really add a lot to the site, even though theyare photos of your trip and not my dad’s! I’m waiting for him to send mesome.

I’m curious about the end of your voyage. Your log doesn’t really say whenit was that you arrived in Houston after the adventure. I suspect that youand my dad may have even crossed paths in Houston! He was boarding the BIBIon the 9th of April and he said that the LEON had just returned to port fromthe Far East. What day did you disembark?

Regards,
Dan

I wrote to Dan that we plan to post the last segment tomorrow.–Bandit

RICHARD PROJECT FRUSTRATION AND MAGNETO ARTICLE UPDATE–Just got back from a short ride. This thing pulls like a freight train , I don?t think I have ever ridden anything with this kind of rip your arms out of the socket, spin the back tire on shifting at a sedate 2300 RPMs, in my life . It feels like ya have an angry monster that really doesn?t want ya there.

I did have to spend some time rebolting the bike back together but I realize it will take a month to work the bugs out.

I am working on the Joe Hunt article tonight. If all goes well you should have by mid week.

–Richard

RUN FOR BREATH IS COMING–Here’s a shot of the bike show plaques for the Run For Breath that Bikernet is sponsoring along with Harley-Davidson of Charlotte, North Carolina on July 28. It’s a one day poker run, party and sharp bike show with all the proceeds going to the American Lung Association for their kids program.

Mike Pullin, the employee of the decade at Charlotte H-Dand his girlfriend Meanest who is the godmother to all childern born in the south founded the Run For Breath after Mike’s son, Justin Pullin died of Asthma complication five years ago. It’s a helluva show with bands and activities all day. Contact the dealership for more information.Apes for news

HORSE REPORT–We’re featuring a Pan from The Sheriff in Sweden next month. It has highbars on it similar to this classic shot from Kozik.We have a great story from him on chopper history in Frisco–shows some great B&W shots from the 50’s-early 60’s.

–Geno

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BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THE SEAS SEEM CALM, BUT WHAT’S AROUND THE BENDWell, what the hell, the summer is rolling into town like 400 tarantulas traipsing across highway 10 heading for Phoenix. I feel unsettled as I wait to hear back from my book agent. I’m sure the brothers in the farming industry feel the same as they wait for the drought in the south to abate and the rains in the north to let up. Just as the straights pray for an end of terrorism, bikers wish for resolution between clubs, and city cops try to deal with gun tooting street gangs. Of course the media continues to search for government fault while never questioning the terrorists. I don’t like the sound of any of this.

On the home front we picked up the Shrunken FXR project from Dr. John in Anaheim. He did a masterful job of pulling the neck back 3.5 inches. Next we will strip away the swingarm from the RevTech 6-speed transmission and shorten it by almost 2 inches. We are working with Urs Gretener (Carrosserie or Coach Builders) for hand made sheet metal and exhaust. He recently developed an exhaust system for Yamaha that increased the horsepower of one model by 40 percent, out doing the Vance and Heinz competition by 20 percent. He used 14 gauge tubing on this particular system and at least 16 gauge metal on his other exhaust systems for a stronger, better sounding units. We better get to the news:

BIKERNET ON LIFE–

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills.
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains.
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles.
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it.
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong.
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment.
If you can face the world without lies and deceit.
If you can conquer tension without medical help.
If you can relax without liquor.
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs.
If you can do all these things, then you are probably the family dog.

–from Dr. Nuttboy

THE HOLLISTER REPORT–HOLLISTER FOREVER is back up. They can getthere on & leave messages for their pals on tha”Clubhouse” wall. Check it out.

It’s still happenin’on Main St.FridayNite, July 5th till Sun. Campin’at Bolado Park all week long. Iwill be jammin’all week long. Lookin’for my next Ex’Ol’Lady between myfavorite bars that is: Ocean Thunder, in Monterey; Mom’n Pops, in SanJuan; 19th Hole, Tres Pinos, near Bolado.

–Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

HACKASAW TECH–We’re looking forward to tech tips from the infamous Hackasaw. Let us know what type of techs will make your day.In addition Frank Kaisler will soon launch into several techs with Avon on wide tire installations. Check the Avon department for our current techs.

MILLION MOTORCYCLE MEMORIAL RIDE FOR THE VICTIMS OF 9/11 DEDICATED TO THE MEMORIES OF THOSE KILLED ON 9/11. The World Trade Center Miracles Foundation is working to establish endowments that meet the needs of families who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks. “America’s Ride” is a 10-day motorcycle ride across the United States in memory of those killed on 9/11. Its goal is to raise funds to aid thefinancial recovery of those who lost loved ones in the attacks. The ride will depart San Diego on September 2, 2002 and arrive in NewYork City, Washington DC and Pennsylvania on the anniversary of the attack.

PLANS FOR AMERICA’S RIDE WILL BE UNVEILED BYTHE KNIGHTS OF FIRE AND OTHER MOTORCYCLE GROUPS. CEREMONIES WILL INCLUDE DISTRIBUTION OF CHECKS TO VICTIMS’ FAMILIES BY WTC MIRACLES FOUNDATION CHAIRMAN MITCHELL MORRISON.

CONTACT: For more information call Mark Hopkinson at (561) 750-9800, EXT. 15. E-MAIL: mhopkinson@transmediagroup.com

BIKERNET ON FAMILY COUNSELING–Angelina and Giuseppe were standing before the judge in divorce court.

Angelina says: “Your honor, we benna marry 25 yearsana Giuseppe he’always picka his nose ana when we maka love he’sa never letsa me on top. I just canna taka dis anymore.”

The judge listens solemnly then addresses Giuseppe. “Giuseppe, isa dis true. You always a picka your nose and you never let Angelina on top? What you gotta say fora yourself?”

Giuseppe says, “Well your honor, itsa true. I picka my nose a lot and,yeah, Angelina, I tella her she’sa gotta be on da bottom. Itsa all go’sa back to when I’ma young boy. My poppa, he’sa very smarta man. I always follow ev’ryting he say. My poppa one day he says, “Giuseppe, I gotta tella you da two main secrets ofa hava successful life. Number one, you always keepa your nose clean. Ana number two, don’t screw up.”

BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNERS FOR THE MONTH OF MAY–Here’s the esteemed winners. You can check out each bike in the Bike Show area. It’s free to enter your bike and trophies and valuable prizes are awarded to each winner monthly. Check ’em out and congratulations to the winners–Bandit.

In The “Buell” Category
ganuka
Stoddard , Wi

In The “Factory Custom” Category
TRAVLR
The Woodlansds , Texas

In The “Open Class” Category
Scott (Elwood) Essex
Stockbridge , Ga.

In The “Pro-Street” Category
Doug
Lawrenceville , Ga

In The “Radical Custom” CategoryRick ShornakBerkley , MI

In The “Rat” Category
Tjebbe
Ede , –

In The “Ridden” Category
THE Freak
Freaksville , TX

In The “Sportster” Category
Rick Webb
Clinton Township , MI

In The “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Raul Navarro
Brooklyn, NY

In The “Vintage” Category
Jeff Mckelvey
Bayville , NJ

In The “Vintage Chopper” Category
Todster
Ohio

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BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DAN GURNEY ANNOUNCES HIS LINE OF MOTORCYCLES

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Entrepreneur revs up motorcycle museum

Art Popham; News Tribune columnist

With all the hoopla over the proposed LeMay car museum, Tacoma has paid little attention to another noteworthy vehicle museum.

The Pioneer Museum of Motorcycles & Conference Center will break ground Sept. 25 and open in fall 2003, if all goes according to plan. The museum, an $8 million to $10 million private project, now seems a certainty for the industrial east side of Thea Foss Waterway.

Marty Moloney, driving force behind the motorcycle museum, now declares his project will definitely happen in the very near future.

“Until now, I’ve kept this very low-key,” Moloney said. “Now, let’s go for it because this is certain. It’s a real, real reality.”

Moloney is making a major commitment to this endeavor. He has already sunk some $2.7 million of his own money and equity into the project. He emphasizes Pioneer Museum of Motorcycles will be an entirely private venture, with no city or state money. He says he has private capital sources in the Puget Sound area.

Since 1996, Moloney has acquired 6.5 acres of L-shaped property at East Third Street between East D and F streets. He isn’t done spending his own money.

The three-floor, 51,000-square-foot museum will be built on the property’s waterfront at 326 E. D St. In addition to 90 parking spaces on that land, a covered breezeway will connect to a 250-stall parking lot on F Street.

BIKE RIDERS MAKE THE FRONT PAGE OF LA TIMES–Yesterday there was an article about bike riders. It compares the “For years, the biking world was dominated by the Harley-Davidson crowd, most of them older,…a more laid back generation of bikers… riders who prize the freedom and camaraderie of the road.”, as compared to younger riders, “…who can buy a bike for less than $10K…half the price of Harleys…, that reaches speeds of over 200MPH,…faster than a NASCAR. Police admit they are outmatched by the powerful machines.”

–from Nuttboy

BIKERNET NASA REPORT– When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in 0 gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Enjoy paying your taxes.

–from Kris B.

“OUTLAWS” INSPIRE NEW BREED OFCOUNTER-CULTURE PATRIOTISM!–book review.Celebrate The 4th Of July With The Authors Of “Why We Rule.”

“Patriots come in all shapes and sizes,” points out Rob Cohen , one of the authors of the new book,Why We Rule: 101 Reasons To Love Our Country (HarperCollins), now in stores nationwide, just in time forFourth of July.

“In the wake of 9/11, patriotism was mostly represented by folks like Rush Limbaugh,” adds co-authorDavid Wollock. “Just because you have tattoos or piercings, or don?t support everything our governmentdoes, doesn?t mean you don?t love your country. We wanted to illustrate why guys like us might want towave the flag. To us, the Ramones and rap music are as American as one of those Sousa marches or?God Bless America.??

Accordingly, Cohen and Wollock ? two progressive, well-educated, pop culture addicts ? came upwith a 225-page salute to what, in their opinion, makes America great, from Plymouth Rock to Kid Rock.Why We Rule! pays tribute to U.S. civil liberties (speech, religion, porn), inventions (the internet, thePost-It), heroes (Abe Lincoln, Madonna), sports (baseball, naked Twister), monuments (The Statue ofLiberty, World?s Largest Ball of Twine), and achievements (first to the moon, worldwide leaders in saltproduction.) The book has been praised as both “a counter-culture history book” and a “patrioticcelebration for folks who don?t necessarily like that crap.”

FLYING SOUTHWEST AIRLINES– A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “Ifbig dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have babyplanes?”??

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have babycats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The stewardess responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”

The boy admitted that this was the case.

“Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest alwayspulls out on time. Your mother can explain that.”

–from Miss Kris

MAGNETO TECH COMING–Damn I love it when things start going together?. I will be doing a tech article on how the Pros @ hunt magnetos rebuild mags on wed. should be finished for thurs? Also think this would be a good article to cross over to the HORSE.

Ride safe & Damn I miss the RedBall that thing spoiled me.

–Richard

The RedBall touring chopper is up for Auction on Ebay currently–Bandit.

DIXIE RIDER REPORT– Thanks for attending the 2nd annual Iron Cavalry Reunion in Helen last week! We had a blast. Jimmie Van Zant brought down the house. Pat Savage was a no-show, but I understand he had some transportation trouble. But, honestly, we hardly missed him because Dan Plowden picked up the ball and gave us a night to remember! (well, some of you will remember, the rest probably don’t need to remember!)

Anyway, I wasn’t writing to brag about the weekend, I’m asking a favor. I’ve been getting several e-mails a week asking about new and unique poker run ideas. I know you folks in the South have found ways to make boring poker runs exciting. If you’ll send me your unique poker run, I’ll either publish it or put it on the web site and give you or your club credit. Not that you’ll gain any monetary value from your generosity, but I’ll buy you a beer at the next event you and I attend!?

Send me your unique poker run ideas asap.?

The pictures for the Reunion will be on the site soon so if you attended and are interested in seeing them, give us about a week. As for the Photographer from Easyriders/Biker Magazine that was there, Rogue tell me to look for the article sometime next year in the May or June issue.

–Scott Cochran
Editor Dixie Rider Motorcycle News
www.dixierider.com

High Speed Divorce Agreement– A married couple are driving along a highway doing sixty mph, the wifebehind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, “Honey, Iknow we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.”

The wifesays nothing but slowly increases speed to seventy mph.

He then says, “I dont?want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affairwith your best friend, and she’s a better lover than you are.”

Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases. “I want thehouse,” he insists, pressing his luck. Again the wife speeds up, to eightymph.

He says, “I want the car, too,” but she just drives faster and faster. Bynow she’s up to ninety mph.

“All right,” he says, “I want the bank accounts,and all the credit cards, too.”

The wife slowly starts to veer toward abridge overpass piling.

This makes him a bit nervous, so hesays, “Isn’t there anything you want?”

The wife says, “No, I’ve got everything I need.”

“Oh, really,” he says, “so what have you got?”

Right before they??slam into the wall at a hundred mph, the wife smiles and says,??”The airbag.”

–from Miss Kris

THE WALL–The first time I touched?my uncle’s name on The Wall, I received an electric shock that spun me around & left me on the ground, sobbing. When The Wall That Heals was in Moscow in 1998, its caretakers told me that many people have felt the same jolt of energy. Perhaps the story by Patrick Camunes is more than just fiction.—-Miss Kris

We’re going to see if we can run the story about the “Reflections” painting of the Vietnam Wall. Watch for it. –Bandit

Bikernet Philosophy Quiz of the Day–An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one-question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk, and wrote on the board, “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, pencils scratched, and erasers erased in furious fashion. They filled blue book after blue book. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour, attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class, however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have received an “A” when he had barely written anything at all. What did he write, they asked.

The answer: “What chair?”

–from Nuttboy

LACONIA REPORT CONTINUES–Greetings from Bikers-Links.com www.bikers-links.com. LACONIA IS HERE! In less than a week it’s time to head up to NH foranother year. LACONIA MOTORCYCLE WEEK www.laconiamcweek.comThis is the official site for Bike Week and is full of all the news andevents you will need to get around. Their booth is located by the LobsterPound and is full of souveniers, runs and events for the week!

STANDING MAN www.standing-man.comThis band rocks! They will be appearing Sunday June 9-Wednesday June 12atOriental Gardens. Lead singer Stan (formerly of Jet City) fronts the Bandand can be found at several biker bars in the MA/NH area. Check out theirwebsite for more info on material and future dates!

BROKEN SPOKE SALOON www.brokenspokesaloon.comYes once again the Spoke is up again as one of our choices. Jay and thecrew have been doing this long enough to know what bikers like. No covercharge-No waiting in lines-Reasonable prices-and awesome bands. See theJimmy Van Zant Band (first cousin to Johnny, Donnie, and the late andlegendary Ronnie Van Zant brothers) appearing June 13-15. This band packsem in as they bring back all the old Lynyrd Skynyrd songs. I’m stillwaiting for the video they shot last year! And don’t forget the lovelySarah at one of the beer tubs-she’s usually workin all week and alwayshaving a good time! Also when your around the spoke stop by the”Tamarack”on the corner next door and see Eddie for a “Lucious Lobster Roll” Theyjust broke 2000’s record of 830 sold in one day by 2001’s new record of881! GUNSTOCK www.gunstock.com/motorcycle

If your going to the Hill Climb on Wednesday or any of their other eventsduring the week your infos here! It’s always a great time.

A LACONIA BIKE WEEK VIDEO www.friendlyproductions.com/laconia_.htmI met these guys several times filming all over. Its always a good ideatograb a video of the events to see everything you missed-or just forgot!Best of luck to Bill and his crew and looking forward to another one thisyear!

Thanks to all the webmasters who put together some great sites forusto enjoy. If you know of any that havn’t taken advantage of our FREE LINKto our site please let em know to log on at www.bikers-links.com

— John, Bikers-Links.com

MYSTERY E-MAIL–http://www.klsupply.com/Performance/mdst/ HD EFI Diagnostics?made easy?and affordable. Easier to use than a scanalizer????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

1800 727 6767??Toll Free in USA or ?call 1 408 727 6767????or E-Mail Also diagnoses ; Harley-Davidson Ducati Moto-Guzzi Cagiva MV-Agusta Laverda Bimota GAS-GAS Piagggio

–Mike Colburn

NEWS FROM WHITEHORSE PRESSWe’re often asked about our bestselling products. What’s hot and new rightnow? A small, inexpensive, black vinyl pouch (1 x 2 inches) called theMotorcycle Information Carrier System ($1.99 each or six for $10) is flyingout the door, and it might just save your life or that of a riding friend!http://www.WhitehorsePress.com/Email.asp?CN=50245&EN=en0205&ID=info You mayhave read about it in the current issues of Rider magazine, BMW Owners Newsor Motorcycle Product News.

Designed to be affixed unobtrusively to the outside of a rider’s helmet, theMotorcycle Information Carrier System includes a tear-resistant, waterproofdata form on which you fill out your personal medical information (familycontacts, doctor’s name, medical/ surgical history, medications, allergies,etc.). The form is then inserted into the pouch, which measures just 1 inchby 2 inches, and displays both a warning to first-responders of the dangersassociated with helmet removal and an arrow showing where to find the dataform. http://www.WhitehorsePress.com/Email.asp?CN=50245&EN=en0205&ID=info

— Aliens Two aliens landed in the West Texas desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it: Greetings, we come in peace. Take us to your leader. The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The alien repeated the greeting. There was no response.

The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump’s haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I’ll fire!”

The other alien shouted to his comrade, “No, you don’t want to make him mad!”

But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 feet into the desert, where they landed in a heap. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, “What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us!

How did you know it was so dangerous?”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my travels through the galaxy … any guy who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, is someone you shouldn’t mess with.

–from Chris T.

DEALS OF THE WEEK– We have 2 machines available. The motorcycle for the man, istruly an imaginative ride. The machine for the “Little Lady” is practicaland easyon fuel. They each make a lot of noise. We are taking offers, now. “jerry windsor” Bikernet News Flash-All Americans Issued Life Jackets–Special Agent Zebra in a drunken rage held Bandit at gunpoint at CampDigitalFrivolities and forced him to put this up.
WASHINGTON, DC-Assuring the nation that “there is no need for alarm,”the Office of Homeland Security issued all U.S. citizens life jackets forsome unexplained reason Monday.

“Everything is fine. You have nothing to worry about,” said HomelandSecurity Director Tom Ridge during a televised press conference. “Still,just to be 100 percent on the safe side, I would urge all Americans to keepthese life vests on at all times.”

Ridge said he was not at liberty to divulge the specific reason forthe unprecedented national life-jacket distribution, but he insisted thatthe move is “merely a minor precautionary measure.”

“To say exactly what these life vests are for would not be in thebest interests of national security, but I promise that this is notindicative of any serious threat,” Ridge said. “The best thing for everyoneto do is simply go about their normal lives. With their life vests on, ofcourse.”

Above: Life-jacketed pedestrians cross a busy intersection inManhattan.

Ridge went on to say that, in addition to the life jackets,citizens should keep the accompanying kits-containing a packet offluorescent-orange marker dye, shark-repellent pellets, and three magnesiumflares-on their person at all times.

Citizens have reacted to the federal mandate with equal partscuriosity and consternation.

“I’m not sure I like this,” said Dan Speigel, a Seattle advertisingexecutive. “Why do I have to wear this thing on the bus when I go to work-abus, I might add, which is now equipped with side pontoons and driven by auniformed Coast Guard officer?”

“On the subway today, the announcer guy said that our seat cushionscan be used as flotation devices,” said Danielle Uris of New York City.”When did they start saying that?”

During a Tuesday appearance on Larry King Live, Vice-President DickCheney stressed that the life-vest distribution has nothing to do with thecurrent state of world affairs.

Above: A police officer patrols Brooklyn in the new NYPD uniform

“This move was not done in anticipation of any sort of terrorist attack,”Cheney said. “That’s ridiculous. If only you were privy to the specifics ofthe closed-door meeting I had this morning with President Bush, Tom Ridge,Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of State Powell, Defense Secretary Rumsfeld, CIAdirector George Tenet, and several leading State Department meteorologists,you would know just how silly and unfounded those fears are.”

Added Cheney: “The U.S. has received no threats at any time in thepast 22 hours, so you can all just relax.”

“I expect every citizen to do his duty and be brave,” Bush said.”Good night, and God bless the United Aquatic States of Hydro-America.”

JUST ABOUT HAPPY HOUR–There’s a drop of Jack still in the bottle. It’s been calling to me all afternoon. Yesterday at my IMB martial arts class, the master Bruce attempted to kill all five of us in a horrendous endurance test. One of the toughest workouts I had ever encountered, on top of a slight groin injury while riding my Panhead last weekend. One student, a young Los Angeles police officer couldn’t hang and slipped out the back door. I’m still stiff as a dried and cracked tire, but ready for the weekend.

Next week we will retrieve Nuttboy’s shrunken FXR frame and go to work. It should be a good one. In the meantime, have a helluva weekend.–Bandit