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BIKERNET REVEAL MILITARY STUDY– To ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors. Let’s pause a moment and take the following test.?

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
(a) Olga Corbutt?
(b) Sitting Bull?
(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1979,the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:?
(a) Lost Norwegians?
(b) Elvis?
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

During the 1980’s, a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:?
(a) John Dillinger?
(b) The King of Sweden?
(c) The Boy Scouts?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:?
(a) A pizza delivery boy?
(b) Pee Wee Herman?
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.?

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:?
(a) The Smurfs?
(b) Davy Jones?
(c) The Little Mermaid?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.?

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:?
(a) Captain Kid?
(b) Charles Lindberg?
(c) Mother Teresa?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:?
(a) Scooby Doo?
(b) The Tooth Fairy?
(c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid with dynamite left over from the train job.?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:?
(a) Richard Simmons?
(b) Grandma Moses?
(c) Michael Jordan?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:?
(a) Mr. Rogers?
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s women problems?
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: “Mustapha the Merciless”?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:?
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd?
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida?
(c) Mr. Bean?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:?
(a) Enron?
(b) The Lutheran Church?
(c) The NFL?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:?
(a) Bonny and Clyde?
(b) Captain Kangaroo?
(c) Billy Graham?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

Hmmm … nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling.

–from CarlR. QUOTE OF THE WEEK– An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk tospend time with his fools. –Ernest Hemingway

CYRIL HUZE’ NEW WEBSITE– Our entire website has been redesigned, with new pages, new graphics, new bikes and new parts. Enter our website at www.cyrilhuze.com and enjoy a new flash animation created by Damien Huze (yes, it’s?Cyril’s son).?Damien is a student at Florida Atlantic University and also professionally designs websites and?online stores for clients. Here the plug:: In any need of creative website ideas? Visit his company at: Huze Solutions (www.huzesolutions.com). At night he is the singer and lead guitar of a new-rock band called Switchmode (www.switchmode.net). This intro to our new site features one of our new?bikes built on our Kool Kat Softail frame.

The site now includes new pages like “Projects” where we?feature one of our bikes in progress?in our workshop. This one is built on our “Stray Kat” Rigid frame. The bike has already been mocked up, is in painting, and final assembly will?start at the end of July. Cyril named it Tattoo Chop! See?the birth of?this new custom?at:?http://www.cyrilhuze.com/projects.html.??

And?for all those?emailing all the time to know?about Cyril’s background, a new page is featuring his biography,?recent published interviews, and his own reflections about the future of customizing. All you wanted to know (almost) is there to satisfy your curiosity. You can?read about Cyril at: http://www.cyrilhuze.com/cyril.html

2- NEW FREE SCREENSAVER: We also posted online a brand new screensaver. It includes 30 breathtaking pictures of Cyril Huze best creations with 15 different?transitional effects.Download it for free at: http://www.cyrilhuze.com/downloads.html

3- NEW PARTS: Go to our online store?and?see our new parts: Category “Lightning”:(http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10004a)A?new cool L.E.D. vertical sidemount, 2?bullet Spikelights,?and a?very slick?headlight.

Category “Hardware”:(http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10009) New cool clamps and wiring guides. A must on all custom bikes.

ESCAPEE STORY–A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 35 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed.

He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed. Then he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife, “Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time behind bars and hasn’t seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, please don’t resist or complain. Just do what he tells you until he’s satisfied. This guy must be dangerous. If he gets angry, he might kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To this the wife responds, “Honey, I’m glad you think that way because he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong, honey. I love you too….”

–from Steve B.

BIG DOG CONTEST–Mike wants you to know that your friend signed you up for TheBringin’ Home Mike’s Big Dog Contest. You see Mike’s awarding 4 Big DogMotorcycles – one for the winner and three more for their friends. .

To find out more visithttp://bigdog.mikeshardlemonade.com/bigdog_html/signup.cfm?referid=479947

To increase your chances, enter under your name when you’re there. Toreally increase your chances, register every day until the contest closes.You can do that.

STURGIS ALL HARLEY DRAGS– Sturgis All Harley Drags, Aug. 5th-8th, 2002.Yes, it’s true, Drag Racing is back at the Sturgis 2002 Race and Rally, Aug. 5th-8th, 2002 Monday -Thursday evenings during the Sturgis Rally just 3 miles from downtown Sturgis Nitro will fill the air and you can run whatcha brung to win cash and trophies. Dazzle your friends, amaze yourself.

Dane Miller and Jim Turner are officiating the event which is billed as the largest cash purse EVER for Nitro, $10.000 to WIN the World Nitro Championship Eliminations. Plenty of Street Divisions to fit in even the most unique of engine configurations (as long as it’s a HARLEY).

Sturgis is on schedule. I have mailed the flyers for the richest race to date for Harley drags. Some Top Fuel racer can leave Sturgis with over $14,000. “We’re running 16 bike fields. So the money is there if someone wants to earn it,” Says long time drag race promoter, Dane Miller.

MONDAY Aug. 5th-Time Trials & World Nitro Championship Qualifying3 rounds of Free Runs for Sportsman & X-Dragster & qualifying for top 8 T/F Nitro HD’s.

TUESDAY Aug. 6th-World Nitro Championship Eliminations & Dash for Cash Non-qualified T/F have dash for low ET to win $1,000. Top 8 T/F Harleys start eliminations for World Nitro Championship: Winner-$10,000, R/U-$4,000, Semi-$2,000, Quarters-$1,500WEDNESDAY Aug. 7th-Sturgis Nationals (ACE RACING SERIES)3 rounds of qualifying for Sportsman, X-Dragster & T/F Harleys. 16 bike fields.

THURSDAY Aug. 8th-Sturgis Nationals EliminationsT/F: Win-$4,000, R/U-$2,000, Semi-$1,500, Quarters-$1,000, 1st RD-$750X-Dragster: Win-$2,000, R/U-$1,000, Semi-$500, Quarters-$300, 1st RD-$200
S/C class: Win-$1,000, R/U-$500, Semi-$200, Quarters-$100
S/G class: Win-$500, R/U-$200, Semi-$100
S/S class: Win-$500, R/U-$200, Semi-$100
ET class: Win-$1,000, R/U-$500, Semi-$250
Racer admission: Pro bike & rider-$150, Sportsman bike & rider-$75, Crew-$60
Gen. admission $20 each night.
Info-Rules: 336-229-4877, fax 336-227-4630
R.T. Shaw 605-347-3571 or HYPERLINK
mailto:Greatdane1958@triad.rr.com Greatdane1958@triad.rr.com

TBEAR ESCAPES PERSECUTION ONCE AGAIN– I did the Wild Pigs Buell?chopper and no good deed goes unpunished.I’m out riding today on my Panhead, doing the usual 80 in a 55, and a bubble gum machine goes off behind me. “Damn, not again.” ?I get pulled over by a Dutchess Co. Sheriff on a Harley. “Enjoying your ride?” he asks. “Why yes sir, beautiful day to be on the road, Guess I got a tad carried away, sorry bout that.” sez I. ” What’s that bulge in your jacket?’ he asks.

” That’s a few copies of The Horse Magazine, I write for them from time to time.” I was out hawking the mag to a few vendors here abouts and I had 3 copies of the Jan Issue with my Tahiti Tattoo article with me to pass out. Turns out he’s a reader and also goes on Bikernet and saw the Wild Pigs Buell Chopper. This guy is the Sgt. in charge of the Dutchess County Motor Squad and has a 1934 police bike and a 52 Panhead police bike. I told him I’d love to see them and he invited my by his place later in the week to check them out. We exchanged cards, I autographed a copy of the mag for him and off we went.

–TBear

Hey, you can subscribe to Horse directly through Bikernet. Check the home page.

BIKERNET WOMEN’S ADVICE“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”

–Dave Barry

THE CLOSE OF THE SHOW–What a goddamn day. Two women are in one bedroom while Layla is in the back taking care of business. What the hell am I supposed to do? Think I’ll wander out to the garage. Just ordered the front tire from Avon we need to pull the front end together and make the front fender fit.

I’m curious as hell about one report in the news, that Military report about all the Muslim attacks. Is that square business? Somebody let me know.

Remember, the Panhead’s for sale. Make me an offer goddamnit and have a helluva weekend.–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

CYRIL HUZE’ ALL SMOOTH HEADLIGHT– This all-smooth 5 3/4″ headlight?looks great?with all styles of bikes and is reasonably priced. Machined out of 6061-TC billet aluminum and perfectly chrome plated. It includes a sealed beam with a H4 style 55/60 watt halogen bulb and a chromed mounting block. Check his website at:? www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE–A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, butafter about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as sheran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the problemwas, and she explained.

After hearing the story the doctor marched back to the first and demanded,?What?s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grownchildren and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant??

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and asked, “Does she stillhave the hiccups??

–from Nuttboy

LA CALENDAR GIRL FOUND UNDER UMBRELLA–Los Angeles, CA, July 5th: The beautiful SBK FastDates.com Calendargirls who will be shooting on location at Laguna Seca World Superbike onthe July 12th-14th weekend with FastDates.com producer Jim Gianatsis forthe SBK World Superbike endorsed Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar,have also been selected by the World Superbike Championship winningDucati Corse team to be their official umbrella girls for their 3 riderteam including reigning and current season World Superbike Championshippoints leader Troy Bayless, together with Ruben Xaus and Ben Bostrom.

The SBK FastDates.com Calendar girls for Laguna Seca include Miss WorldGreat Britain, Nicola Lane, a tall and beautiful 5’9″professional model and theatrical dancer from London.Other confirmed FastDates.com models for Laguna Seca includebreathtaking 5′ 9″ brunette Lauren Nicole, a Los Angeles based printmodel and a spokesmodel on E! television, and current Fast Datescalendar model Shannon Gonzales.

Calendar girls Nicki Lane and Lauren Nicole will also be appearing inperson throughout the July 20-21st weekend for the premier of the 2003FastDates.com Calendars at the Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show atthe Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach, California, the biggest streetbike event in America. Complete details of the Calendars, the Models,and the Bike Show are available online at www.FastDates.com

BIKERNET DRUG USE STUDY– The long term implications of drug use and cosmetic enhancement procedures must be fully considered. Over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than has been spent on Alzheimer’s disease research. It is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a very large number of people wandering aimlessly with big breasts and huge erections who can’t remember what to do with them!

–from Nuttboy

THE GREEN MACHINE REPORT–

Recently, the Green Machine M/C of East Valley had invited your club and/orasked you to post our July 27, 2002 event flyer, which was to be held inWinchester at the Wild West Arena and to benefit the Juvenile DiabetesAssociation, onto your website events page. We appreciate those who werewilling to post it or indicated your attendance and look forward to seeingyou “in the wind” as we ride this summer.

However and unfortunately, the County of Riverside Sheriff’s DepartmentHemet Station has denied the “special use” permit required by the County toput on such an event, even after we demonstrated security measures, facilitylayout, timeframes, alcohol limitations and multiple events to take place.Without going into too much detail as to why, the primary reason was thesimple fact that we are “Bikers” and belong to a motorcycle club. Thisstereotyping is unfortunately very prominent these days and will be so forquite some time, despite the fact that more than seven large motorcycleevents have taken place incident free throughout the state and in otherssince Laughlin.

Nevertheless, we obviously can’t get the cancellation message out toeveryone who obtained the event information and so many will be riding intotown that day. So if you’re still planning on coming out to the area, aswill many because of the great location, we ask that you visit one of themany “Biker” friendly establishments within the Hemet, San Jacinto andWinchester areas, which are nearby Highway 79 and Highway 74 in RiversideCounty.

As a means of “silent protest”, this would be a great way to show those whochoose to profile that we “Bikers” as a community are upstanding andcontributing members to special causes and benefits, the communities we liveand places we work. On July 27, 2002, it would be great to see as manymotorcyclists ride thru the area to demonstrate the many who ride.

Unfortunately, this time it is not we who lose because of sensationalism andscare tactics practiced by certain bureaucrats, it is the local JuvenileDiabetes Association and those the organization serve who lose out.

Respectfully,

Green Machine M/C

SINGULAR REPORT FROM RUN TO THE WALL– ?That’s not a “before” advertisment for Nair, that’s me, the end product of two million years of human evolution! ?I was right in the middle of a week long bout of hay fever when this picture was shot, and in between a series of sneezes. ?

Also, just before I got off the freeway (and I cruise at 85-90 mph), a flying bag of wet cement .. or some very large insect .. couldn’t tell which, had hit me dead center in the snot locker (nose). ?Whatever hit me bloodied my nose .. I actually saw stars for a moment .. and my face ?was covered with bug goo. ?Lots of bug goo! ?

As soon as we got off the bike at Pikes Peak H-D, I looked in the mirror to check for damage. ?I remember telling Sheri that I looked like someone who had just had a long, hard, satisfying drink from the Yak gut drain at a high volume slaughterhouse! ?

This picture was taken just after I washed my face with water from my canteen, but before I brushed the chunks of thorax from my beard and hair. ?Other than that, I’m proud to have my picture representing Run For The Wall 2002 in this very patriotic 4th of July Independence Day issue of the Colorado Springs Gazette.

POLISH SAUSAGE– A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?”

The guy, clearly offended says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something.If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya?”

The clerk says, “Well, no.”

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?”

The clerk replies, “Because this is a hardware store.”

–from Chris T.

TELEMARKETING CURE– I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren’t able to call people at home during the dinner hour. But that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed “Three Little Words” based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation, that would stop the nuisance for all time. The three little words are “Hold on, please.”

Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately — would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company’s beep-beep-beep tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you’ll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.

–from Chris T.

HEY, WE PROMISED–to bring you another report on the progress of this bike from Easyriders of Quincy, Illinois. I was frankly knocked-out by some of the design and workmanship. And once more we promise to bring you more on this shop in the near future. Also check out their web site http://www.easyridersquincy.com

*Most Definitely*–A martial arts school teacher says to his class, “Who can use the word’Definitely’ in a sentence?”

First, a little girl, Nyla, says, “The sky is definitely blue.” ?

Teacher says,”Sorry Nyla, but the sky can be gray or orange…”

Second, a little boy, Keith, says …”Trees are definitely green.” ?

“Sorry, but inthe autumn, the trees are brown.”

Little Karley from the back of the class stands up and asks: “Does a farthave lumps?”

The Sensei looks horrified and says…”Karley! Of course not!!!”

“OK…then I most DEFINITELY shit my pants…”

–from Dick Bondano

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Besides tearing up the sheets we’re busting our asses to have a rolling chassis for the Queen Mary Show next week. It’s something completely different and we plan to have it perched in the Joker Machine Booth if we muster the final parts together. Wait, one more thing. The price for the concert has been reduced to $35 bucks, just for people who mention Bikernet. I’ll see you there.Life is crazy, let’s get to the news.

EASYRIDERS CRUNCHING NUMBERS– Did you hear about the new round of firings atEASYRIDERS? Cathie Stitch, Gaea, and Cathy Thalman got axed.They also got rid of the new editor of Savage.

Ingred Insider

Unfortunately some of these employees have been with the company over 25 years.

THE SCOTSMAN’S CODE–After a couple of drinks at a company party, a young woman’s curiosity got the best of her when she noticed a Scotsman at the bar.

Smiling, she asked, “So…just what is it that you Scots really wear under your kilt?”

He smiled broadly and said, “Well, Lass, on a good day, just a little lipstick!”

–from Ray R.

CAMPAIGN FOR THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE–?Their goal is to get 4,000,000 Americans to digitally sign the Pledge of Allegiance online, one thousand for every man, woman and child killed by terrorists on September 11, 2001. These online signatures will then be displayed at Ground Zero in New York on the one-year anniversary of 9-11 this year. ?This is one way we can show support for our country and its freedoms. ?By standing united, we are not only honoring the victims but also sending a strong message to the likes of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and Yassar Arafat. ?

This link will take you to the site. ??http://www.patriotdrive.org ??Or http://www.SignThePledgeOfAllegiance.org

–from the Wild Woman of San Pedro

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–It’s almost 5:00 am right now, yes just got back from the shop, like I havebeen for the past week or so. As soon as we fired the WCC # 5, I decided to start a project for Sturgisthis year. Yep, call me fucking insane….. By the way, we only have fourmore days ’till our trailer starts the ocean voyage to the US. Since theWCC #5 bike will be done by tomorrow (just slight details), we will work ona ’65 Panhead that I want to take to the Black Hills. It’s a mad scramble,and you will figure out when you see the photos that I lost it big time. Let’s see what happens before I get commited to the loco hospital.

Let’s up the ante a bit, e-mail me at the Bikernet Your Shot, letters to the editor page, if you think that I can finish this bike in time. I always have next week to update on the progress( actually, completion by then…).

I took a couple photos of the two bikes just a bit ago, they are not thebest, but what the hell can you expect after a 20 hour work day ! I willpost the proper photos next week when I can shoot them in daylight.I have to use this forum to thank Guti, Ramon, Luis, Carlos, Rafi and Chenifor helping out on all 10 bikes about to hit the boat, whileliving on Coca Cola and cigarettes to survive the long days and nights.

Imagine the rush that the powdercoated parts for the WCC were completed in threehours by our local guys, and all the UPS packages have a red stickerattached to them.

Oh well….. That’s it for now, the super short version of the CaribbeanReport. Still gotta load the trailer and do that Pan…

See ya next week.

Jose

Excuses Feedback–

Pablo,
This article definitely applies to me…every bit of it…I’m going tostart the program…I’m glad I finally have “the road map”! This is the finest article ever written!

Kerric

Check out the story- Excuses Marriage Counseling 101

OHIO TOWN ENDS PROHIBITION– Prohibition has finally ended for this Akron suburb.

For the first time in more than 80 years, alcohol sales became legal Monday in Tallmadge, with Mayor Christopher Grimm getting things going by sipping on a microbrew beer at Delanie’s Neighborhood Grille.

When Prohibition ended in 1933, Tallmadge refused to allow local sales, fearful of too many taverns.

The change, approved by voters last year, was prompted by a desire to attract chain restaurants that depend on liquor sales.

Here’s the Run For Breath Banner for this year. The run takes place the 28th of July our of Charlotte. Contact Charlotte H-D for information–Bandit.

RUN FROM BREATH COMING RIGHT UP–We had the next-to-last meeting for the Run For Breath last night. Lots of frantic, last-minute details to attend to, but overall things are going very well. We read on bikernet that Discovery will be at the Smokeout following Billy Lane.

I have sent Billy Lane an e-mail inviting him to the run on Sunday. Of course, he isn’t as famous as YOU, but we thought another celebrity (although a minor one, compared to you!) couldn’t hurt our cause. I also told him that you would be here that weekend, and that we’ll look him up on Saturday.

Mike, the Run For Breath Founder, is off to Milwaukee tomorrow, the armpit of the country, as he fondly calls it! He will report in next week.

–Meanest

THREE OLD MEN DISCUSS SEX LIVES–The Italian man says, “Last week my wife and I had greatsex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we madepassionate love, and she screamed for 5 minutes at the end.”

The Frenchman boasts, “Last week when my wife and I had sex,I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then madepassionate love and she screamed for 15 minutes at the end.”

The old Jewish man says, “Well, last week my wife and I hadsex too. I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz(kosher chicken fat), we made love, and she screamed for 6hours afterwards.”

The Italian and Frenchman were stunned.

They replied, “What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for 6 hours?”

“I wiped my hands on the drapes.”

–from Josh P.

HOLLISTER A SUCCESS–SO FAR–I received a call in the middle of the night, Wednesday night. The voice was slurred and drifted as if the man was semi-unconscious. By the third word I knew it was Wino Joe reporting from Hollister. The message was garbled and indistinct, but the bottom line is that Hollister went off without a hitch.

CONFESSION–One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her sins, came to a Baptist church. She got up in front of the congregation and stated, “Last week, I slept with a young soldier who picked me up at a bar and now I ask the Lord’s forgiveness.”

“Hallelujah!”, cried the congregation.

She continued, “Two days ago, I slept with a young sailor, but now I ask the Lord’s forgiveness.”

“Hallelujah!”, cried the congregation again.

“But tonight, because I have come here and done my penance, I will sleep with the Lord,” she finished.

But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in the back yelled out in a clear voice, “That’s right momma, fuck ’em all.”

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 2

SAN DIEGO’S CYCLE VISIONS POKER RUN–Cycle Visions 2nd annual donor awareness poker run is scheduled for Sunday, July 7th… $25.00 donation to benefit Childrens Hospital ($20.00 to Childrens – $5.00 winnings) *Food * Prizes * Refreshments* There will also be a judged bike show, live music donated by the Ravens. 1st place $500, and 2nd place $250.00 ($25 show entry)…. We will also be having other raffles…the grand prize is a pool table donated by Olhausen pool tables and a Harley Davidson jacket donated by Cycle Visions. Sign in is between 9:30 – 10:30….Cycle Visions, 4263 Taylor Street, San Diego, CA 92110 (619) 295.7800

On July 7, 2002 Cycle Visions is holding a fundraiser benefiting Children’s Hospital and Health Center. The day will start with a Poker Run and conclude at Cycle Visions in Old Town with a judged bike show, live music donated by the Ravens, food and drink. The grand prize is a pool table donated by Olhausen Pool Tables and a Harley Davidson jacket donated by Cycle Visions.

This event started out about two years ago as a donor awareness ride to bring attention to one of our customer’s need for a kidney/pancreas transplant. Dawn lost her sight at the age of 21 due to diabetes and was on dialysis for 13 months. That didn’t stop her from enjoying more than 32,000 miles on the back of her friend Ken Padilla’s motorcycle. Incidentally she went into the hospital for the operation the same day of the Donor Awareness Run. Today she serves as the spokesperson for this event.

Sign-up for the poker run will be between 9:30 and 10:30 at Cycle Visions. The suggested donation for the poker hand is $25. Another $25 will enter a bike in the show with a chance to win $500 for first prize and $250 for second. All makes of motorcycles are welcome.

CRUISING RIDER REPORT–Just got advance copy. GREAT editorial column (Gunplay). I have to admit,the one-two punch of you and “Bandit” Ball is the best commentary of any EPGtitle in my humble opinion. I thoroughly enjoy readingKickin It and Uneasy Rider every issue!

ICE CREAM MAN FROM HELL–I’m the WebBastard for the Ice Cream Man From Hell and Crippled Old Biker Bastards, among others. Jim, the I.C.M.F.H. wanted me to contact you regarding linking up with Bikernet.

He also would like to get in phone contact with you. Please let me know how we can link up and if you would forward a phone number for Jim to give you a call that would be appreciated. The C.O.B.B. site was just launched last week so it’s in it’s infancy stage right now, the site that is, the C.O.B.B. Society is growing in leaps and bounds! A link page has to be established yet as well as more member pictures, stories and what-not.

Thanks for your attention.?

C.O.B.B. 4-ever,

Scott Free
PA State COBBinet Representative
WebBastard @ www.icmfh.com &
www.cobbsociety.com

HOLLISTER REPORT–Mr.5 Ball. Thanks for your support. Hollister is a community event. Itreally helps the KIDS. Sometimes I get down on all of us bad-ass bikershelpin’out. But, this is my homeCamp.

Flash this one. Check outHOLLISTER FOREVER Click-on “Clubhouse” for moreinfo/leave a post on tha “wall”. Or check tha links.

FTW has you.

LATEST DEADWOOD REPORT–I’ve attached a link to the story in today’s Spearfish newspaper.Deadwood residents can begin returning home this evening beginning at8:00 P.M. The fire is along and south of Boulder Canyon now which isthe road between Sturgis and Deadwood. It is believed it will becontained in that area.

Guy Edwards
Sturgis

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=4616648&BRD=1300&PAG=461&dept_id=156925&rfi=6

GAMBLER’S REMORSE–A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail.

The cabbie said, “If you don’t have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!” So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, “How much for a ride to the airport,” he asked?

“Fifteen bucks,”came the reply.

“And how much for you to perform oral sex on me on the way?”

“What?! Get the hell out of my cab.”

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked ” How much for a ride to the airport? “The cabby replied “fifteen bucks. ”

The businessman said “ok” and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers….

TWO HELL’S ANGELS PROSPECTS WOUNDED–By DAVID TIRRELL-WYSOCKI.c The Associated Press.

Two prospective members of the Hell’s Angels motorcycleclub were shot and wounded Saturday in what police said appeared to be acontinuation of gang rivalry.

The shootings came less than two weeks after thousands of bikers from aroundNorth America left the area after their annual Motorcycle Week, which hadbrought police warnings of potential violence.

“It appears to be part of the ongoing cycle of violence between themotorcycle gang rivals,” said Sgt. John MacLellan.

In May, nine members of the Pagans motorcycle gang pleaded guilty to assaultcharges from a fight in which one man was killed at a Hells Angels motorcyclerally and tattoo expo at Plainview, N.Y. Authorities said the battle, whichalso injured at least 10 people, arose from turf disputes between the twoclubs.

MacLellan said Saturday’s shooting happened along a highway somewhere betweenLoudon and Laconia, north of Concord in central New Hampshire. The bikers,who weren’t identified, were treated at Lakes Region General Hospital forgunshot wounds and were released.

MacLellan said details of the shooting were sketchy because the two men, bothNew Hampshire residents, wouldn’t say much to police.

Laconia Chief Bill Baker said the shootings were what police had tried toprevent during Motorcycle Week. Some businesspeople and local politicians had criticized Baker for hiswarnings of potential violence at the event, accusing him of being analarmist and of working to harm the lucrative annual event.

City officials denied vending permits for Hells Angels to sell memorabiliaduring Motorcycle Week, but were overruled by the state Supreme Court.

CHILDREN’S CHARITY EVENT MOVED DUE TO CLUB WARS–All motorcycle related events in Ventura County, California have been canceled due to the disputes between clubs. This decision included the Exceptional Children’s Society Annual Beach Ride. The charity still needs the support so a special concert was schedule in Ventura. Try to make it and support the kids.

BIKERNET QUOTE OF THE WEEK–I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. –Frank Sinatra

JAMES BOND ON BIKERNET–A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The women notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, ” It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”

–from Chris T.

Tattoo Of The Week–

Debra Davis , Calhoun , GA

PS : My husband told me if I wasgoing to get a tattoo not to be a pussy get me a big tattoo I could beproud of ! So what do you think ?

Thanks for sharing Debra. Your tattoo looks great! I’m still waitingfor others to submit their tattoos. Don’t be shy, get your fifteen minutesof fame here on Bikernet.com!

Sin

BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT–Damn, it’s 1600 and I’m still chained to this goddamn keyboard. I’m outta here. Have a great holiday and becareful, goddamnit.–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT FOR THE 4TH– First and foremost, Happy fourth of July to all, it’s great when you areable to celebrate your independence, I guess in more ways than one. Don’tlet those freedoms that were set by the efforts of others go to waste.

It’s great that we have been receiving more and more e-mails from Bikernetreaders, we are glad that we can help with the questions and builds. Alsowe have received several messages asking for the Chopper Freak ™ shirts,and even better some messages with the finished projects after months ofe-mailing back and forth with questions and answers. All of this is verycool to me. Part of this web-site is based in helping anyone with theirprojects or whatever needs (finding girls and stuff like that need notapply). I’m sure there’s a few decades of bike building knowledge amongstthe staff at Bikernet, so use the tools you have !

You have the power to post questions in “It’s your shot” or e-mail any ofus directly, for sure stuff that someone does not know, someone else will.A few years ago I used to help out on a Compuserve forum by American Iron,it was a great venue for helping each other out, meeting people and havinga bit of fun, even though it was a small forum (by Bikernet standards) weare still friends and e-mail each other from time to time. I guess what I’mtrying to say is, don’t just use Bikernet to read stuff, participate andask,we have the technology. And when those bikes are done, send the photosover, I would love to see them.

Like I said before, here’s two shots of Bikernet readers rides, the coolass rigid 57′ Panhead belongs to Kevin from sunny (and fuckin’ humidFlorida) and that sweet black Evo belongs to Rob from California, enjoythe bikes folks.

On the Jack Daniels BBQ news, Guti and Ramon, got a couple trophies, it’sbeen 5 outa 6 years winning awards, congrats.Also thanks to all the guys that helped us out, you know who you are. MaybeFerlin the blind photographer will send me the BBQ photos one of thesedays….Nope, not holding my breath.

We are working on a new series of Caribbean Choppers, our design, ourstyle, we are aiming for Biketoberfest and you will see them here first.The ideas and components are on paper right now, but let’s say you willsave some money on shocks and front fenders… and no posers, there will beloud and kick only.

Oh well, time flies when you are rushing a bike for Sturgis, while youparty tomorrow have a cold one on me, we will be on a mad scramble to putthe chopper together since everything has to be on the ship by nextThrusday…Let’s see what happens…

See ya in the Black Hills….

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet report.

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT– Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border San Antonio, Texas (Rooters) Unwilling to wait for their eventualindictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketingexpense.

“They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-bookedthe revenues,” said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso”Right in front of my daughters.”

Calling themselves the CEOnistas, the chief executives were firstspotted last night along the Rio Grande River near Quemado, where they boughteach of the town’s 320 residents by borrowing against pension fund gains. Bylate this morning, the CEOnistas had arbitrarily inflated Quemado’spopulation to 960, and declared a 200 percent profit for the fiscal second quarter.

This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its underperforming areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5 billion.

Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably frustrated.

“First of all, they’re very hard to find because they always standbehind their numbers, and the numbers keep shifting,” said posse spokesman Dean Levitt. “And every time we yell ‘Stop in the name of the shareholders!’, they refer us to investor relations. I’ve been on the phone all damn morning.”

“YOU’LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!” The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common executive weakness. “Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as a CNBC anchor,” said U.S.Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis. “It was like moths to a flame.”

–from Josh

SAMSON MANUFACTURES WALLPAPER–We hard a hard time believing this report until we captured a sample of the new Samson pipe hauling truck. Check the Samson site or the department on Bikernet for free samples.

NEWS FROM WHITEHORSE PRESS–Just Published! MOTORCYCLE DETAILING MADE EASY: THE SECRETS FOR MAKING ANYBIKE LOOK ITS BEST, by David H. Jacobs, Jr., 143 pages, $19.95.

If you think you know how to keep your motorcycle clean and shiny, thinkagain! In this practical new book, author Dave Jacobs will teach you thingsyou didn’t even know you didn’t know. With lots of clear photos toillustrate every procedure, you can learn all the tricks for making the mostof your cleaning and care sessions. By evaluating what sort of work isneeded for each part of the bike and beginning with the mildest methods forthe given material, you can revitalize an old machine and keep a new onelooking showroom sharp.

To order a copy of MOTORCYCLE DETAILING MADE EASY, click onhttp://www.WhitehorsePress.com/Email.asp?CN=50245&EN=en0206&ID=MDME

I RIDE ALONE —is a new 35mm feature film being produced by NELSON MADISON FILMS for release in Fall 2003 with it’s premiere slated to be held in Sturgis during Harley’s 100th Birthday Bash. This film is an action packed, fictional drama featuring riders and their bikes as they cruise the open highway experiencing life and all it has to offer. It is a tale of personal freedom, commraderie, mis-adventures, tragic humor, great bikes and great characters. An ensemble cast of actors and the bikes that they ride is sure to make this film a favorite with everyone that feels the call of the open road. Check back often to see how production is going.

The cast, which is expected to include a host of memorable actors that ride for real will be announced here soon.

To check out the culture, visit http://www.bikernet.com Keith “Bandit” Ball, author, editor and host of bikernet, will be posting regular updates on the film production, including “dailies” and sneak previews of the script. Watch for cool merchandise and contests coming soon.

To check out some awesome bikes, visit http://www.paulyaffeoriginals.com Paul Yaffee, creator of some of the most awesome machines on the planet will be building four custom bikes that will be featured in the film and later auctioned off for a soon to be announced charity. Watch for sketches and pictures from the shop, as they get built.

If you’d like to get involved and be a part of film history in the making, send us an e-mail and we’ll send you more information on sponsorship, investment (accredited investors only), media, or anything else you want to know about. Send e-mail to: info@nelsonmadisonfilms.com

RARE BUELL CHOPPER CAPTURED–Bandit, I hear you have a fondness for the Buell…I ran into a group on NYS Troopers ( Wild Pigs) at a party this weekend.One of the guys was running the snot out of this. He put it together himself and it was looking sweeeeet. It’s a Buell in a softail H-D frame with a crap load of home made parts. It’s not quite show finished yet, He’s having too much fun riding it to finish it up just yet.

I’m gonna submit it to the Bikernet Cyber Bike Show for him soon. I’ll get a shot of him in uniform on it for a feature on the site.

Just thought you’d appreciate the work in it and the inventiveness.

–TBear

CICCOTTO TAKES FOURTH BUELL PRO THUNDER PODIUMBuell Firebolt Rider Second at Brainerd Event.

Mike Ciccotto of Sebastian, Fla. rode a Hal?s Performance Advantage Buell Firebolt XB9R in its fourth consecutive podium finish, placing second in the Buell Pro Thunder Series event at The Colonel?s Brainerd International Raceway here today. The strong finish helped Ciccotto maintain his second position in the Buell Pro Thunder Series points standings.

The race was not without some drama for Ciccotto, who was running in the draft of Kirk McCarthy down Brainerd?s long front straight when a gust of wind almost blew him off the track. ?I was just coming into Turn One really hot at about 150 mph when the wind caught me and I lost the front end,? said Ciccotto. ?The bike slid right to the edge of the track before I caught it. It was a little unnerving.?Ciccotto recovered from the slide, but was unable to catch Buell Pro Thunder Series points leader McCarthy, who won the race aboard a Ducati 748. Thomas Montano of Berkeley, Calf. was third, also aboard Ducati. David Estock of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., rode a Buell Firebolt XB9R entered by Tilly?s Harley-Davidson to fourth place.The fifth and final event on the Buell Pro Thunder Series is July 13, 2002 at Laguna Seca Raceway, Monterey, Calif., and Ciccotto thinks a season of hard work will pay off at that event.

–from Ray R.

NORTH TEXAS CHAMPIONSHIPS JULY 6TH– The Texas Scooter Times “Home of the Texas Style Party Drags” would like to remind everyone about the North Texas Championships July 6th (This Saturday) at Texas Raceway in Ft. Worth, Texas.Featuring Nitro Harleys with 28 Sportsman Classes for ANY Type of Harley!Live Band – Vendor Midway – Burn Out Contests- “Saturday Nite Under the Lites!” – Don’t Miss It!Gates open at 4pm – Time Trials Start at 5pm – Eliminations Start at 8pm.for more information visit www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066

Track Location: Take Business 287 exit off I-20 in South Ft. Worth. Go South about 2 miles and turn right at the top of the hill on New Hope Rd. Track is 1 mile down on the Right.

Also we would like to Remind everyone about the Conroe Swap Meet July 14th at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds. Our first show at this new location was a huge success and this ones shaping up to be better!Live Band – Doorprises – Discounted Parts – Swap Meet Bargains – Don’t Miss It !

Continued On Page 3

Let’s get to the holiday news quick. I need to get out of the headquarters and into the party mode:

EASYRIDERS STORES TURN HOTBIKE–Rumor from the streets is that Easyriders has demanded more from their licensed stores. They’ve threatened to put the stores back into the franchise mode or pull the name. According to a number of store owners the name isn’t holding its own anymore. Stockholders are upset.

Seems HotBike has offered the stores a better deal so the stores once called ER of Alburque, etc. may become HotBike of Alburque. More news will be forthcoming.

Dual Disc Front End Kits for FL Softail(r) Models From CustomChrome–The perfect solution for custom bikes or converting an FX Softail(r) to aHeritage-style front end Features caliper lugs on both lower legs for dualfront discs offering vastly improved stopping power. Complete kit withchrome triple trees, fork tubes, fork sliders, slider covers (cowbells),bearing dustcovers, Timken bearings, and all necessary hardware. Availablewith chrome or polished lower legs.

Requires two stock or aftermarket 1984 thru 1999 front calipers androtors, 11/16″-bore master cylinder, special speedometer drive, axle spacersand dual flange front wheel.

09-351Kit with chrome lower legs
09-353Kit with polished lower legs
19-79916″ x 3″ 40-spoke dual flange front wheel
09-653Speedometer drive unit
92-365Axle spacer conversion set

FIRES BURN CLOSE TO STURGIS–The page below when you bring it up will show some of the pictures ofthe fire near Deadwood. Deadwood still remains evacuated. Hot windsare making the fire hard to hold, but it sounds like the worst of thedanger has passed.http://www.rapidcityjournal.com/wildfire2.html

An aerial photo looks down on Deadwood early Saturday evening as fire ranges around the town. Deadwood Gulch Resort is at right and Lower Deadwood at left.(Photo courtesy of Tom Warner)A smoke plume from the Grizzly Gulch Fire could be seen for more than 100 miles and was moving over Bear Butte and Sturgis in this aerial photo taken about 8 p.m. Saturday.(Courtesy photo by Tom Warner)

A smoke plume from the Grizzly Gulch Fire could be seen for more than 100 miles and was moving over Bear Butte and Sturgis in this photo. (Photo courtesy of Tom Warner)This aerial photo was taken at 3:45 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 8, 1959, three hours after the Deadwood fire started west of the city. Deadwood is in right center of the photo, and Lead is at lower left. The 1959 fire started along the Central City-Deadwood highway at left center. (Journal file photo )

In this view from U.S. Highway 85 at sundown, the fire can be seen cresting a hilltop overlooking the town of Deadwood.(Journal photo by Dick Kettlewell)The observation deck on Terry Peak, five miles west of the Grizzly Gulch Fire, offered a panoramic view for dozens of onlookers, including, from left: Ryan Huck, 15, of Lead; Brady Maynard, 17, Deadwood: Dylan Laskowski, 15, Lead; and Casey Davis, 18, Lead. (Journal photo by Bill Harlan).

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR ROLLS INTO NEXT STAGE–We received fenders from Cyril Huze Customs this week and began the plan for shrinking the swingarm. We have also decided to attach the fender to the swingarm so it cups the tire in the old school approach. We also ordered a Huze tank to continuing the styling of the Cyril swoop.

We also bought a new welder for the headquarters, a Millermatic. We are now up to date with welding equipment for widening the front fender, modifications to the frame and gas tank. The hardwork is ahead, but we’re all over it. Watch for the shortened swingarm next week.

ATLANTA HARLEY-DAVIDSON OPEN ROAD TOUR–AtlantaHarley-Davidson 100th Anniversary Open RoadAtlanta, GA, will be held at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, 1500 Highways 19 & 41 South Hampton, GA 30228.July 19, 2002 – 19th Annual Harley Owners Group Annual RallyJuly 20-21, 2002 Open Road Tour takes place.It’s open to public 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. daily.

Atlanta Motor Speedway is approximately 30 miles south of downtown Atlanta Traveling South on 1-75, take Exit #235 (15 miles south of downtown Atlanta) to U.S. Highway 19 & 41 South and continue for 15 miles. Traveling North on 1-75, take Exit #205 (Ga. 16) and proceed west through Griffin to U.S. Highway 19 & 41 north to Hampton.

4TH OF JULY THOUGHTS–Remembering what today celebrates. I think of those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we remain free.HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE DAY.take a minute to remember that today is not just about BBQ,s and beaches.Now, back to the party…

–TBear

SONNY BARGER REPORT–Across this great country, we each express the American spirit and pride in our own way. Sonny celebrates the Fourth of July by riding to the Hollister Independence Rally.

Next week, join him and other riders in Sierra Vista, Arizona. Get all the info including maps and weather forecasts on the Meet Sonny page, which now also shows his radio and television appearances:http://sonnybarger.com/meet

His latest book, Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free, has been well received on both sides of the Atlantic. See the reviews from USA Today and the London Daily Telegraph:http://sonnybarger.com/home

You can listen to an online clip from the audio version of the book:http://sonnybarger.com/book

And there is a new t-shirt with Sonny’s picture from the book jacket:http://sonnybarger.com/store

Sonny Barger Premium Lager is on sale in Minnesota, and in South Dakota in time for the Black Hills Rally. The web site will guide you to “Where’s the Beer?” as more locations carry it. Learn more, sign up for free stuff and give us tips for retailers and distributors in your area:http://sonnybarger.com/beer

More photos of Sonny with fans and friends have been added:http://sonnybarger.com/fotoComing later this month: Sonny Barger Hellfire hot sauces and salsa, and the Sonny Barger Emergency Roadside Motorcycle Repair Kit.

THE BLOND ON A HORSE, NO NOT HORSE MAGAZINE–A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had nolessonsor prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horseimmediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde beginstoslipfrom the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, butcannotseemto get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’sneck,butshe slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally,giving up her frail grip the blonde attempts to leap away from thehorseandthrow herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot had become entangledinthestirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves asherheadis struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments awayfromunconsciousness when to her great fortune …..Bill, the WalMart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

–from Barry C.

Continued On Page 2

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This is a new illustration from the master Jon Towle for Bandit’s Cantina. It’s Puss In Boots, one of our sexual advice columnists.

JON TOWLE GUARDS NICK THE DICK–The master illustration of the majority of the art on Bikernet is Jon Towle. He is also the angry creator of the loser Nick The Dick cartoon series featured in the Laugh Room of Bikernet. Here’s his story:”Do you remember me telling you a few weeks back, that I was doing asearch on “google” search engine, looking to see what was out thereunder the nick the dick name, and there was some faggot dick suckingsite with the same name? Well, I wrote them with some nice attitudeconcerns at first, and they got a little pissy with me. I then made somereal time threats (’cause nick is my baby), and I just found out theytook off their site listing from google.

This makes me happy because their site will not confuse nick fans with afag-ass location. I don’t need to go into what I told them I would do,but the good thing is, it worked, as it should.

Yeah for me, and us!have a nice goddamn day.

Jon-

International Harley-Davidson MEETUP Day is Wednesday, July 24 @ 7:00PM!You’re leaders in the online Harley-Davidson community, and we’re hoping you can help spread the word to Harley Fanatics everywhere — up to 540 cities worldwide. On Wednesday, July 24 @ 7:00PM, they can meet face to face with other Harley Fanatics in their town.

See the Harley-Davidson MEETUP page:http://harley.meetup.com

Link to us to help spread the word:http://harley.meetup.com/link.jsp

MEETUPs are informal local, face-to-face gatherings – we want to create an opportunity for people who share an interest or passion to get together and talk, debate, gossip or plan something cool. They happen monthly in over 500 cities worldwide and we’ve tried to make it easy by picking some good MEETUP spots for these events, including local cafes, bars, and restaurants.

Questions, ideas or comments? Write to me – Really, I do want to hear from you:mailto:topic_czar@meetup.com

–Jen

PERFUME TERROR– Seven women have died after inhaling a free perfume sample that was mailed to them. The product was poisonous. If you receive free samples inthe mail such as lotions, perfumes, etc., throw them away.

The government is afraid that this might be another terrorist act.They will not announce it on the news because they do not want to create panicor give the terrorists new ideas.

–Kris B.

BROS CLUB SPORTS NEW LOGO–We support the bros club for several reasons. Their road service is designed for riders and if you need help, you be assisted by people who know how to work with motorcycles. They are also available for insurance needs.

We have also contacted a well know motorcycle journalist Dave Aldridge who will send assistance “Stories from the Road” beginning next week. For more information contact:

Liz Holt, Member Services
BROS Club North America
Emergency Roadside Assistance – Cycle Insurance
P.O. Box 3238
South Pasadena, CA 91031-6238
626-403-8104 800-547-2767(option 2) FAX 626-441-3975
mailto:info@brosclub.org
http://www.brosclub.org
AFFORDABLE ROAD SERVICE FOR RIDERSNEVER BE STRANDED AGAIN

FROM THE ANTI-MALE FILE–How does a man show he’s planning for the Future?He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Hot Bike presents the White BrothersLos Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show Sponsored By Bikernet.Com– Exciting 2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set forJuly 20 -21st at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach.

The 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show set for July 20-21st at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA, is really coming together with 130 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, and featured on the Speed Channel’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets. http://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM

Exciting features at this year’s Show include an added celebrity host, legendary biker journalist Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

The lovely Brenda Fox.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by LA’s hottest new performance show band Powder with lead singer Ninette. If you like the well known band No Doubt with lead singer Gwen Stefani, then the talents of Powder will blow you away even further with their electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

And of course, the Calendar Bike Show Show features the most competitive Bike Contest on the West Coast with it?s prestigious new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance.

Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, the Bike Contest and all the available weekend activities online at www.FastDates.com.

See you at the Show!
Best wishes,
Jim Gianatsis

CLOSE THE BOOK ON THE NEWS–It’s time to hit the road. I hold off downing a Jack until the news is complete, since I’d never finish ranting and raving after my third drink.

We’ve got it made, being bikers, but we’ve got to be diligent and protective of our freedoms and this joint we call home. Interesting times.

Watch the site for more updates and if you can’t get enough, there’s another news column every Sunday (unless margaritas get the best of me), in the Cantina. Motorcycle Online an-all model, road test site just went subscription based due to a lack of advertising dollars. Hang in their guys.

Have a helluva weekend and ride safe, goddamnit. I don’t want anyone to become a statistic, or make a girl cry. My Afghan fighting brother thinks I’m going soft. The martial arts master thinks I hit too hard. Who the fuck knows. Ride forever–Bandit.

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BIKERNET MEDICAL STUDIES– ? In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex.

After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex.

The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with these findings, spent $13.27 (for a Playboy, Penthouse, and a case of Old Milwaukee) and concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

–from Ray R.

Chrome Regency(tm) 58mm Performance Inverted Cartridge Fork Kits From Custom Chrome–The finest ride you ever tried!These aren’t just another gorgeous face. We call them performance forks andwe mean it! A classic case of form following function, employing the latestincartridge damping technology.

Unlike conventionalfactory forks with out-dated, rough riding damperrods as the only thing between you and a kidney belt, cartridge dampingoffers superior ride quality and adjustability to suit the load and theroad. Regency forks keep you comfortably in contact with the road like noothers!

Cartridge damping is the same technology used by World Superbike andGP Road Race Teams.They look as good as they work! Chrome forged aluminum lower forksliders have integral fender and brake mounts which eliminates the need foradd-on brackets.

Forged aluminum sliders allow for a greater chromeplating quality, and an increase in strength. The forks are designed toemulate the mounting positions of OEM sliders so all stock fenders, brakeswheels and axles bolt on with no modifications. Super huge 58mm tubes allowtremendous strength and eliminate flex associated with smaller diameterforks.

Here’s some detail features, click on the CCI banner for more information or the dealer near you:

* Flush Brake Tee and Brake Line
* Smooth Top Tree with Easy Rebound Adjustments
* Hidden Pinch Bolts
* Design by John Reed

DISCOVERY CHANNEL TO COVER SMOKE OUT– Discovery Channel “officially” confirmed they will be there. The film crew will be following Billy Lane from Choppers Inc. to the event. They may also be shooting Roger Borget’s Mania bike. Don’t miss this event produced by Edge and sponsored by Custom Chrome, Inc., HORSE and Bikernet.

IMPOTENT FARMER–??An impotent farmer was having trouble in bed for close to a year now andhe?just didn’t know what to do. He ate Viagra like M&M’s but it never seemedto?help.

The farmer had a couple cows that he wanted to breed,and?he went down to his neighbor farmer to ask to borrow a bull for a day.

The neighbor farmer said yes, and the impotent farmer loaded the bull into thebox of his pickup.

When he got back home he put the bull in with the cows. The cows were sureinterested in the bull, but the bull would not?go near them for some odd reason.

The impotent farmer went back to his neighbors and asked why the bull wouldn’t screw his cows.

The other farmer said “Oh sorry bout dat he gets like that sometimes, what you otta do isstick your finger there in one uh yah?cows pussy’s and rub it on hisnose.” The impotent farmer went home and tried it on the bull, and sureenough the bull got all three cows and went back for more about fiveminutes?later.

The impotent farmer was totally shocked. He went home that nightafter a hard days work in the field, and climbed into bed. His wife wasasleep next to him and he got an idea. He figured if it worked on the cowit?might work on him. So he pulled down his sleeping wife’s panties and stuckhis finger down there and rubbed it on his nose. Sure enough he was hardin?an instant. The farmer was so happy about this he just had to show hiswife.?”Honey wake up honey, turn on the light and take a look at this.”

His wifewakes up turns on the light and says “You woke me up just to show me youhad?a bloody nose.”

–from Ray R.

CHOPPERS FOREVER BIKE SHOW–After the first date was cancelled because of rain, the Choppers Forever Bike show was held at the world famous C&L Hog shop in Ft.Pierce. The weather finally held out and it turned into a decent day for a couple hundred hard core old timers bringing the special editions to the front lines for the rest of us to see.

Lou has been slicing and dicing bikes longer than any of these new whipper-snappers and I for one wanted to acknowledge this. When I approached him about having a party, he kinda like the idea, pausing a moment to consider the downside. We agreed to our tasks and who would do what. As it turns out, the damn port-a-potties were the most hassle. Remember we got rained out the first weekend and they didn’t want to give Lou his money back.Well, he succeeded somehow to not only get his money back but also a return visit with the portable toilet on the rain date.

The Christian Motorcycle Association and the Alternatives MC did a phenomenal job in helping set up, clean up and cook the burgers. Wings of Gold MC stepped up to donate the trophies and sell the cooked burgers, along with lots and lots of bottled ice water and beer. Help came from all different places, and individuals that let Lou know he was still highly thought of in our motorcycle community.

The bikes in the show were magnificent creatures. These choppers came in all shapes and motor variables; the Panheads were the hardest to judge. A pearl white ’63 up against a brilliant red ’49 in jamming hardtail frames with incredible chrome.

The People’s choice award went to the Chopfather himself, Gypsy Mike with his ever-popular ’76 Flashback shovelhead. The rainbow of steel and dreams is Mike’s baby and it’s been in heavy competition since he completed it back in ’99. He was thrilled to get that award!

Best of show was humbly accepted by Melbourne’s own, Billy Lane. Billy came riding down with twenty of his closest buds and wowed the crowds with his extremely unusual hubless “Peterbuilt” chopper. Last I heard they were heading to Archie’s Sea Breeze after the show to spend his prize money.

–Katmandu

ONLY THE BEACH RIDE WAS CANCELED, NOT THE CONCERT–In place of Beach Ride 11, FOR THE YEAR 2002 ONLY, we will be having a concert at Majestic Ventura Theater, 26 S. Chestnut Street, Ventura, California. Please see the flyer below for details. See you there!!!

All of us at the Exceptional Children’s Foundation are devastated and disappointed that the San Buenaventura State Beach in Ventura decided not to issue a permit for our largest fund raising event, the ECF Beach Ride on Sunday, July 14. Our volunteer Beach Ride Organizing Committee, ECF staff and volunteers have done everything possible to negotiate and ask for a reconsideration of the decision.

For 10 years, the motorcycle community has supported the ECF Beach Ride. Funds raised help nearly 2,000 disabled children and their families every year. Our children with developmental disabilities and acquired brain injuries have received the special care they deserve and parents got the support they needed for their disabled children. We cannot thank the motorcycle community enough for their commitment, their donation of time and money. Beach Ride helps ensure that the kids get the special care and attention they need to really thrive.

Many thanks for your support in the past and we hope you will join us in our plans for next year?s event. There will be updates on our web site at www.beachride.com. Please feel free to call us at (310) 845-8062 or (800) 696-3727 if you need additional information.

STOLEN MOTORCYCLE PARTS INVESTIGATIONThere is somebody out there I want to see rot in Hell!!!!! Sunday June 23rdat night these%^$#%^#%^$# stole the Kiljay Race Trailer, Progas Bike, PitVehicles and Tools from in front of Broke Biker in Fremont, California.

Below are the details on the parts they may be trying to sell on theinternet. Delkron 4-cam race case with 1-1/2″ raised deck, proflow oil pump,2-10 lb nos tanks 2-5lb nos tanks, PRP heads set up for right & leftcarburators, (4) super “D” carburators with three thunder jets each, B&J3-speed transmission, 10″ Goodyear slick on a carbon fibre wheel. Dyna 4000race ignition, NOS cheater solinoids, slipper clutch W/ hat, thunder crankwheels & crank pin, Jims roller rockers, 3-rail Nungesser frame, Wacker 6000watt generator, off road Go-Ped, 250 cc Honda 4 wheel ATV, Jet 1-1/2 hp aircompressor and 27 ft Black fully enclosed race trailer.

Reward on recovery!!

Stan Sheppard
650 837-8401

ONE OF A KIND– I hate to be like a new father showin off pix of my kid, but CJ sure came through for me on this one!Jon Towle did the drawing for me, Big Paulie did the tattoo, Ripper did a sweet helmet airbrush job and CJ Allan just sent me this shot of what’s going out in the mail to me.

Now all I gotta do is unscrew my prosthetic leg and carve me a peg.Hmmm, now I gotta switch the panhead back from a rocker clutch back to a suicide! No, this bitch is gonna be bolted on my Road Apple. Now I gotta get another done for the old Pan or she’ll be jealous.

–TBear

MORE UPOLSTERY RECOMMENDATIONS–We used to go to TJ (Tijuana, Mexico) years ago and took our OWN THREAD since their’s is notoriously poor. Also neverleave the vehicle since they have a tendancy to stuff weeds and animal excreations under the leather.

Dealing directly with Bob LaPera or Andy Amador youwill get a uniquely designed gel sel seat made to conform to your body.

Mention my name and you’ll geta righteous price. You rid eyour D with pride and youneed an automically designed seat to make your ride that much more pleasant.

“Sometimes cheap is too expensive”!

Danny Gray made my current seat using Rolls RoyceConnoly Leather…you really don’t want to know the cost!

In The Wind
John

LOOKING FOR A DURFEE GIRDER?–If you are still looking for a Durfee girder, or know someone who is, please contact me.

–Beachesandsun@aol.com

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WINO JOE DA POET–RHGang, let’s all get along; I want’a live ta see this work. ZThis is my “Hi Kool” poem:

Tha pain in my knee, only hurts when I sit.
Tha poundin’in my heart,
let’s me know I’m alive.
A biker warrior
rides ta live.
A real warrior knows he has won tha war,
when he sees tha smiles of tha children.

Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

BOB KAY LEAVES BIKER’S CHOICE FOR AMERICAN IRONHORSEBob Kay will be leaving Tucker Rocky and Bikers Choice effective July 12, 2002. Bob has accepted an opportunity to become the COO of American Ironhorse. American Ironhorse, based in Ft. Worth, is a major manufacturer and assembler of custom V-Twin Cruisers. This is a great opportunity for Bob to leverage all of his knowledge and expertise.

Bob has been associated with Biker’s Choice, formerly NEMPCO, for 20 years and is an icon in our industry.

We wish Bob continued success in our great industry and, specifically, in his new leadership role with American Ironhorse.

LUNCH BREAKWhen I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park benchsobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, “Ihave a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning andthen gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly groundcoffee.”

I said, “Well, then why are you crying?”

She said, “He makes mehomemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to mefor half the afternoon.”

I said, “Well, why are you crying?” She said,”For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert andthen makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.

I said, “Well, why in the world wouldyou be crying?”

She said, “I can’t remember where I live!”

–from Bob T.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–My guess is that some of us watched Monster Garage this week, I know, Iknow, there’s some lame ass things and to some it might have looked like asales ad for WCC shirts, but in reality it’s pretty cool. I know most bikebuilders also have a car projects lying around the shop, even if it is theirdaily transport, or some crazy Hot Rod, but let’s face it, chopper guys arecar guys too.

Jesse has a few cool cars in his shop , and some of us might want to beable to show our four wheeled projects too, because they are part of whatwe are, kinda sick people that can’t leave anything alone, nor stock.

Mostof us are always looking for a project, and most times find one evenwithout looking for it or being able to afford it, we see a VW Beetle andsee a chopped top, califa windows, chrome wheels and flames, that’s the natureof a “gear head”. While reading some VW magazines (yep, I admit it, I likethose little Bugs) I noticed a couple cars built with the same ideas aschoppers, flat black, simple, flames, and lots of manual labor.After looking at the prices of stuff for those “never die” cages, more orless the whole job would cost the same as an Evo motor,got bit by the, pardon the pun, bug.

I’m going to build a chopper bug as soon as I find a cheap one, my budgetmight not be like the three thou that Monster Garage has but I don’t need thatmuch anyway….Will follow up on that one…

Without getting way off track…. Good or lame, it’s good for all of usthat motorcycle people are getting exposure on TV, even if they are doing a5.0 mustang into a lawn mower, Wink, Billy Lane, God Bill and a few othersrepresent our side of the story. Turn Yugo’s into frogs for all I care,it’s good for all of us. I would pray to see a Motorcycle Mania thing everymonth, no matter who it features…We will see in the long run.

The Jack Daniels BBQ was a total success, over 300 motorcycles showed up toenjoy the free, yeap gratis, chow and to look at some cool choppers andcustoms. This event is based on a BBQ competition between several pro’s andamateurs and the public gets to taste all of the competitors cooking. Wehad a pretty big compound with several of our customers and friends showingup on their bikes. I will have some photos posted next week.

It’s official, Discovery Channel will be filming the Horse magazine SMSO inNorth Carolina, so clean up well, and wash those bikes, who knows if youwill end up in national TV….Like I said, it’s great that The Horse isgetting the exposure….

And you heard it here first, Bourget’s is getting a Discovery bikeready….they are being filmed as we speak. There’s more stuff but can’t bereleased yet….Will keep posting when I’m 100 % sure it’s happening.

With my blatant plug of this week, we have stock of our new line ChopperFreak ™ shirts and Bikernet is helping us out.It’s simple, call Caribbean Custom Cycles at 787-721-0633 or e-mail atJose@ Chopper Freak.com for your shirts, med-lg-xlthey are $20.00 each and include shipping, you can also send a money orderor check to 801 Fernandez Juncos, San Juan PR 00907. Get them beforethey become hot item tickets on TV ! But wait ….There’s more! Get afree key chain and sticker with your purchase , this offer ends by the timewe leave for Sturgis, they will be available at the Horse soon, ChoppersInc and at the SMSO.

Get them thru Bikernet first……we will give 10% of each sale to MikePullin’s run for breath….How about that !!!!!(BTW I’m being totally serious)

Second blatant plug of the week: I have the Orange CFL that is featuredhere in Bikernet, the buyer backed out and I want to sell it.Make an offer around 30 thou and the bike could be yours, or wait 5 yearsand spend 60 grand on a bike by Jesse. I will ship it to the US and it’salready registered here, no special construction, if interested e-mail orcall at the number above. Thanks again.

Time to go, I feel like those infomercial dudes, but since I have the powerto do it…..The 4th CFL is already painted and waiting at the lift, the bikes will beheading to the docks in a week so I have to hurry the fuck up, the crew forSturgis is already set and our plans for the SMSO are rocking….Now if Icould find an old Pan or Shovel and that Bug…yeap I’ll have stuff to dountil we head over to the States……See ya next week…

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report and TV gossip extraordinaire.

PS: Brazil vs Germany Sunday morning………can’t miss the biggest soccermatch in the world !

BIKERNET LEGAL COUNSEL– Subject: Alligators & Lawyers

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp.The small one turns to the big one and says,I don’t understand how you can be so much biggerthan me. We’re the same age, we were the same sizeas kids… I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” says the big alligator, “what have you been eating?”

“Lawyers, same as you,” replies the small alligator.

“Hm. Well, where do you catch’em?”

“Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp.”

“Same here. Hm. How do you catch’em?”

“Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someoneto unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite’em,shake the shit out of’em, and eat’em!”

“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see yourproblem. See, by the time you get done shakin’the shit out of a lawyer, there’s nothin’ left butlips and a briefcase…”

–from Bob T

LOS ANGELES LEG OF 100TH ROAD TOUR–Harley-Davidson representatives including Bill Davidson, motorcycle-enthusiasts and some surprise legendary musical guests will announce the Los Angeles leg of the 100th Anniversary Open Road Tour during a special press conference today in Los Angeles. The Open Road Tour event in Los Angeles is scheduled to be hosted at the California Speedway, September 6-8.

They’ll be rockin’ the House of Blues on the Sunset StripTo RSVP for the event or for more information, contact Ryan Eichler at 312-988-2208 or reichler@webershandwick.com

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The stock market is in the pot, the world is firing into a global religious war and the bike industry is rocking as if bars are serving free beer to anyone on two wheels. I watched BlackHawk Down this week and wondered if we ever learn anything from conflict. Life is bananas. Let’s get to the news.

TRIUMPH CELEBRATES 100 YEARS–I’m not sure how they are counting the years, but congratulations just the same. They are wrapping up a cross-country run from the east coast to Pasadena Elk Lodge Parking Lot Sunday June 30th. There will be Triumph Celebrities, cake, bands and a concourse of classic motorcycles.

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR REPORT–The headquarters crew has decided on a new welder to improve the garage capabilities and weld the hell out of the FXR. We decided on a Millermatic 175. First goal is to slice and shorten the swingarm.

We have ordered finders and a tank from the ultimate designer Cyril Huze. This will not be a bold on procedure because we’ve screwed up every move we make. Now one makes fenders for little tires so we’ll need to narrow the rear fender and widen and reshape the front for the 18-inch wheel. Then we’ll need to shorten the tank because we went against the code and instead of stretching a frame we shrunk it. We traded the perfectly good chromed swingarm for a stock swingarm and it’s at the sandblasters today being stripped for the work to come. Hang on.

DEATH TOLL UP–According to some health magazine the old farts on motorcycles have driven the death statistics up. According to the article new studies show bike fatalities up 35 percent in last three years (what ever that means). Of course they blame the deaths on speeding, drinking and helmet use. We’ll look into this further.

Carla sent us a shot of a Texas Ranger on duty.

LOS ANGELES TIMES CLUB REPORT–This is one of the most disturbing aspects of the Code of the West. The first rule is “I shall not snitch.” So what did we see in the Times the other day, but a member of a club decided he didn’t like the life, so instead of gracefully going about his business, he turned snitch. “Federal and state authorities capped a two-year investigation into an international motorcycle club Tuesday by arresting 12 people in four counts on suspicion of drug and weapons charges, officials said. The investigation centered on a member of the Vagos motorcycle club who secretly cooperated with authorities, using government money to buy illegal firearms and drugs, said Jeffrey Ferguson, an Orange County Deputy district attorney.”

V-ROD TOURING PACKAGENext year you’ll see a variety of V-Rod models and even more parts and accessories. This is the new detachable Touring Windshield for the VRSCA V-Rod, which allows you to tour the open road with plenty of wind protection and minutes later, cruise town without it.

For more information about V-Rod Accessories check their web site.

BAD KIDS MC–Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.His birthday was coming up and he thought this was agood time to tell his mother what he wanted. “Mom, I want abike for my birthday.” Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker.He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Leroy’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get abike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy’smother, being a Christian woman, wanted Leroy toreflect on his behavior over the last year. “Go to your room,Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for yourbirthday.” Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat downto write God a letter.

Letter 1:Dear God:I have been a very good boy this year and I would like abike for my birthday. I want a red one.Your friend, Leroy

Leroy knew that wasn’t true. He had not been a very goodboy this year so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2:Dear God, I have been an “OK” boy this year. I still wouldreally like a bike for my birthday.Leroy

Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So he wrote athird letter.

Letter 3:God, I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am verysorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for mybirthday. Please! Thank you, Leroy

Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going toget him a bike. By now Leroy was very upset. He wentdownstairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Leroy’smother thought her plan had worked as Leroy lookedvery sad. “Just be home in time for dinner,” Leroy’s mother toldhim.

Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner. He up to the altar. He looked aroundto see if anyone was there. Leroy bent down and picked up astatue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran outof the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his roomand sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy beganto write his letter to God.

Letter 4:God,I’VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN,SEND THE BIKE.

Signed,YOU KNOW WHO

–from Redhorse

Pictured in photo are l – r Harry B. show coordinator, Kenny S. owner,Harlan B. driver and J.R. sales

THE KING OF BAD ASS RIGS JUST HIT THE ROAD!–Almost 80 feet and 80,000lbs of Mean Steel and Wheels from SAMSON are Here!

Move over rover, the days of mellow roads are over! Brand new and state ofthe art PETERBUILT, Samson Exhaust has just unleashed its new show and tourrig for 2002. This evil, red and black baby is going to conquer wherever ittravels. Sturgis, Daytona, Indy and any town where bikers chill better poursome more concrete on their bad streets for this SAMSON truck and MotleyCrue of SAMSON crew.

Please visit www.SamsonUSA.com for the ultimate Internet experience.Samson Motorcycle Products, Inc.3818 E. Coronado St. Anaheim, CA 92807(800) 373-4217

H-D AND EBAY AGAINST TOM–I just received an email from Harley Davidson concerning an ebay auction Ihave been running. While I can certainly appreciate a Corporation protecting it’scopyrights and logo’s from other businesses, this is a little overboard.I’m not quite sure what the threat to them is….I thought this was America.I didn’t realize it was illegal for me to use the term “Fatboy” to describemy motorcycle.

Tom

Dear eBay Seller:

The motorcycle which is the subject of this auction is neither a HARLEY-DAVIDSON nor a FAT BOY motorcycle. Consequently, it may not beoffered to the public using those terms.

In order for any motorcycle to be referred to or represented as aHARLEY-DAVIDSON (or FAT BOY) motorcycle, it must fulfill both of thefollowing conditions:

1. It must have been initially assembled in its entirety byHarley-Davidson Motor Company; and

2. It must be equipped with three critical components installed byHarley-Davidson during the motorcycle’s original manufacture (or withgenuine HARLEY-DAVIDSON replacement parts for such components): theframe,the crankcases, and the transmission.As you are aware, your motorcycle was assembled in its entirety bysomeoneother than Harley-Davidson, using a frame also made by someone other thanHarley-Davidson. Consequently, while you may make reference toHarley-Davidson in the description of the auction with respect to anyspecific part or parts (if any) which actually originated withHarley-Davidson, you may not refer to the overall motorcycle by either ofthe terms “Harley-Davidson” or “Fat Boy.”

You are required to remove all references to Harley-Davidson and Fat Boyfrom the title and subtitle of this auction, and from the descriptionexcept as described above. In order to effect these changes, it will benecessary for you to withdraw your auction and relist it in the “Custom”category. You should be aware that merely listing a motorcycle in the

“Harley-Davidson” category on eBay automatically inserts”Harley-Davidson”into the title.

Please note that if you do not make the required changes voluntarily, itwill be necessary for Harley-Davidson to ask eBay to terminate theauctioninvoluntarily, which could affect your ability to trade on eBay.Please notify me when the required changes have been made.

Judy Henslee
Trademark Manager
Harley-Davidson Motor Company

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