If only I knew what the hell was going on. John Siebenthaler, the master designer has created another award winning billboard for Bikernet at Sturgis using the crap that we supplied him. This weekend is the LA Calendar show and women and riders and ridin’ women are running at the coast in droves. As of tomorrow afternoon, the headquarters will be party central until Saturday night on the Queen Mary where we will sponsor the Bike Show Party in the Observation Lounge. Stop on by, it’s open to the public, all welcome.

Jack Daniels is sponsoring our party tent at the show both Saturday and Sunday. Okay, so it all sounds peaches and cream, hot summer nights, half dressed ladies and some of the best looking bikes in the world. There’s one glitch in the 60-weight ointment. Due to new construction at the Queen Mary, parking spots will be at a severe preminum except for bikes. If you’re in a cage you might consider parking at the Long Beach Aquarium and taking the 5-minute boat ride or shuttle to the event.

Other than the parking quagmire, the sun will be glistening off the water and sleek bikinis for a dazzling party next to the ship. Let’s get to the news.

ROUND-THE-WORLD MOTORCYCLE RACE BEGINS — The first ever round-the-world motorcycle race has started from London. Covering 25,000 miles through 20 countries, five deserts and four continents, the 24 competitors will be on the road for 95 days. The event will raise more than $160,000 for charities including Sight Savers, The Meningitis Fund and for Alzheimer’s groups.

Mr. Sanders – who holds the Guinness world record for riding around the globe on a motorcycle (31 days and 20 hours) – and who has bicycled around the world twice, says the competitors will have their minds on the grueling task of covering up to 1,000 miles a day. “The riders are going to find it hard. They have had to train a lot over the last 12 months,” he said. “They will be riding an average of 400 to 700 miles and up to 18 hours a day.”

After their send-off in England, the bikes will be shipped to the United States, where the race will officially begin in three weeks.

GRAYBEARD GOES TO DOCTOR–A guy that just turned 50 goes to the doctor to ask him an importantquestion. “Doc, when I was in my 20’s, it took both of my hands to pushdown my hard-on. When I was in my 30’s, it took one hand to push downmy hard-on. When I was in my 40’s, it took three fingers to push downmy hard-on. Now that I’m in my 50’s, it only takes one finger to pushdown on my hard-on! So what I’m basically trying to ask you is…howstrong am I going to get?”

–DanFender

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR PROJECT ROCKS–We’ve been hitting it hard to fit and extended Cyril Huze tank on a chopped and shortened Kenny Boyce Pro Street frame to House the RevTech 88-inch engine and 6-speed trans. Just yesterday we were attempting to fit fender struts over a BDL rear pulley to lock down the rear Fatboy fender to the swingarm securely. If we can stay up all night tomorrow and receive a shipment of Joker Machine components, be awake and sharp enough to mount the rear fender, the Cyril front fender, the Cyril created oil bag then slip the engine and trans in place, we may have one sharp looking rolling chassis in the Joker booth. Hang on…

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH– Mayor Quits After Chucking Bottle At Biker. Criminal charges may be brought against former Sodus Point, New York, Mayor Donald Buchwald over allegations that he threw a plastic bottle at a passing motorcyclist, State Police told the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper.

–Bill Bish, A.I.M.

MOTORCYCLE MARINES RIDE ON– OooooRah! In the jungles and rugged terrain of Nicaragua and Panama during the “Banana Wars” and on the scarred landscape of France during World War I, the Marine Corps and Harley-Davidson created a bond forged in combat. That bond was recently renewed when two Marines rounded the corner of Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C. this Fourth of July aboard Harley “Fatboys” during the National Independence Day Parade, and the Motorcycle Marines were reborn.

“Starting this summer, hand picked Marine Recruiters will begin appearing at parades and regional events aboard gleaming, fire engine red and chrome Harley-Davidson motorcycles,” said Sergeant Jimmie Perkins in a USMC Recruiting Command story. The motorcycles will join the Marine Corps’ other event-marketing vehicle, a red Humvee.

“Harley-Davidson and the Marine Corps share a special place in the hearts of the American people,” said Major Gen. Jerry D. Humble, Commanding General of Marine Corps Recruiting Command. “With a shared pride of being known as the best, Harley-Davidson and the United States Marine Corps represent ideals that have made our nation great.”

–Bill Bish, A.I.M.

BELT DRIVES LTD. REAR BELT ADJUSTMENT ADVICE–When installing a rear drive belt, alignment and proper tension is very critical, the installer mustbe sure that the rear wheel is accurately centered so that the belt will track properly on both the rear pulley and transmission pulley.

When installing a new belt on old or new pulleys particularly on an aftermarket motorcycle witha lowering kit or lowered shocks, then particular care must be taken on setting the free play (tension) of the belt. It may be a good idea to have someone sitting on the bike while the freeplayis being adjusted.

If the freeplay is too loose then the belt may have a tendency to jump a tooth on the pulley which may cause the belt to break and or strip teeth off of the belt.

After the initial installation of the belt it is very important that the freeplay be checked at the 50 mile,100 mile and 200 mile point because a new belt under load may seat itself into the pulleys thuscausing the belt to get loose.

Belt failure is mostly attributed to improper alignment, improper tension and failure to monitor the tension of the belt.THERE IS NO WARRANTY ON BELTS.

For more belt info check the BDL department on Bikernet or click above to the BDL website for tech articles and belt drive products.

Continued On Page 2

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visitus on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS

Compiled and Edited By BILL BISH, National Coalition of Motorcyclists

ONE NATION, UNDER LITIGATION

As our Nation celebrated its independence and heritage thispast July Fourth, we also became united against a new attack on our country and ourPatriotism from our own judiciary.

Most of us grew up reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in school, the words rolling aseasily off our tongues as the ABC’s and 1-2-3’s, and Americans in general are appalledthat a federal appeals court would take aim at our sacred oath. And why now, at a timewhen our country is united in defiance of terrorist aggression, and our fellow countrymenpray to a higher authority for strength and guidance?

Bikers didn’t need 9-11 to catalyze our Patriotism and love for our country. Manymotorcyclists are veterans, and most of us are more civically involved and politicallyaware than the average citizen. Despite a reputation for rabble rousing and a rebelliouslifestyle, we routinely recite the Pledge of Allegiance at our meetings, rallies andgatherings, and we did so even before it became politically correct.

Former President Clinton once said that you can’t love your country and hate yourgovernment, but most bikers would respond that we love our country enough to want to fixit. Now, a San Francisco court gives us yet another reason to question authority.

Politicians have been quick to wrap themselves in the flag since the court’s June 27decision, and both sides of the aisle and even President Bush have decried the Ninth U.S.Circuit Court of Appeals declaration that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in publicschools is unconstitutional because of the words “under God” inserted by Congress in1954.

In a 2-1 decision, the court said the phrase “one nation under God” amounts to agovernment endorsement of religion in violation of the separation of church and state. The case was brought by a California atheist who objected to his daughter beingcompelled to listen to her second-grade classmates recite the pledge.

Critics of the decision were flabbergasted and warned that it calls into question the useof “In God We Trust” on the nation’s currency, the public singing of patriotic songs like”God Bless America,” even the use of the phrase “So help me God” when judges are sworninto office.

The ruling, if allowed to stand, would mean schoolchildren could no longer recite thepledge, at least in the nine Western states covered by the court: Alaska, Arizona,California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington state.

However, the ruling does not take effect for several months, to allow further appeals. The government can ask the court to reconsider, or take its case to the U.S. SupremeCourt. Incidentally, the Supreme Court itself begins each of its sessions with thephrase “God save the United States and this honorable court.”

The 9th Circuit is the nation’s most overturned appellate court – partly because it isthe largest, but also because it tends to make liberal, activist opinions, and becausethe cases it hears – on a range of issues from environmental laws to property rights tocivil rights – tend to challenge the status quo.

Congress inserted “under God” at the height of the Cold War after a campaign by theKnights of Columbus, religious leaders and others who wanted to distinguish the UnitedStates from what they regarded as godless communism.

USA PATRIOT ACT IS UNPATRIOTIC

A complete and utter overreaction to the tragic events ofSeptember 11th has taken place. I don’t believe the people of this great country knowthat Congress has rendered the Fourth Amendment of the United States Constitution nulland void! How did this happen? By rushing to pass the “Uniting and StrengtheningAmerica by ProvidingAppropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act” or USA PATRIOT Act of2001.

It allows the application of F.I.S.A. (Foreign Intelligence and Surveillance Act) todomestic investigations. This allows law enforcement to get around strict rules of theFourth Amendment. The F.I.S.A. was originally written to apply solely to foreignintelligence gathering. The PATRIOT Act expands F.I.S.A. to include domestic matters. This means that a set of rules for dealing with foreign spies can now be used on UnitedStates Citizens.

The PATRIOT Act also contains an expansion of Federal Surveillance to include rovingwiretaps. This means that if your brother-in-law is doing something to get his phonetapped, when he comes to visit at Christmas, even though you are doing nothing wrong andhave no knowledge of what he is doing, the wiretap follows him and your phone is tappedwhile he is visiting.

Congress apparently wasn’t satisfied with just the Fourth Amendment, they also went afterthe First Amendment. Groups that use “criminal” methods to intimidate government are nowconsidered “Domestic Terrorists”. Civil disobedience has been the best way to protestunfair or unjust laws since our nation was formed. Under this law, women’s suffragegroups of the 19th century and civil rights groups of this century could be defined as”Domestic Terrorists,” and maybe your group is next.

Everyone should call or write their Congressional representatives and demand that the USAPATRIOT Act of 2001 be repealed! If they don’t, we should elect a Congress that will. That is, if we are still allowed to hold elections.

BEAR, Iron Cross Motorcycle Club
Chairman, Georgia Confederation of Clubs

AUTHORITIES ARE INVESTIGATING THE WRONG GANG

At last, a journalist makes sense of therecent biker violence and the subsequent (over)reactions by law enforcement, and MikeSeate of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review even takes shots at his colleagues in the pressfor sensationalizing these events and working in concert with the police in promptingpublic hysteria. Read on for Mr. Seate’s take on this situation, as published in hisJuly 15, 2002 article:

Over the last few months, the motorcycle gang that made headlines for its rebellious,anti-social antics in the 1960s has been in the news again.

Hells Angels members now are middle-aged and graying, but they’ve been involved in fatalshootings in New York and Laughlin, Nev., had their names linked to internationaldrug-smuggling rings and even prompted the summoning of the National Guard when theyshowed up at a New Hampshire motorcycle rally last month.

Unfortunately, all of this hype has little to do with the reality of working alongside agroup of area Hells Angels a few weeks ago.

For a group that TV news teams and police departments from Amsterdam to Los Angeles havedescribed as “a wealthy, sophisticated drug cartel,” these guys were taking nothingstronger than Advil.

The Lake Coast chapter of the Hells Angels, who attended a motorcycle festival atCleveland’s Thompson Dragway, were an older, friendly lot for a bunch of guys who’ve beenpainted with the same brush as al-Qaida terrorists. If the Angels and other motorcyclegangs are, in fact, reaping billions from operating alleged drug empires, the profitshaven’t trickled down to Akron yet. These bikers partied on bargain beer, lived in a20-year-old trailer and cooked their meals on a tiny, 99-cent discount store barbecuegrill.

For all of their multi-million dollar budgets and high technology surveillance equipment,you’d think the AFT and FBI would realize that millionaire drug dealers don’t ride10-year-old Harleys and walk around with fewer teeth than are found in the back row of aWillie Nelson concert. Maybe the biggest crime being committed here is felonystereotyping.

It’s true that many people over-romanticize the outlaw biker image and ignore it whenthese guys do break the law. But why are we still vilifying a group that contains a fewpunch-out artists and small-time dope peddlers when white-collar crimes – from stockfraud to dodgy accounting practices that affect the lives and jobs of millions – stilldon’t get guys in Armani suits stereotyped as thieves?

Maybe it’s because law enforcement agencies can use the so-called threat of biker gangsto scare the populace and beef up their operating budgets.

And it’s a lot easier to roust a half-employed guy in a leather jacket for selling $50worth of cocaine than it is to investigate the highest levels of corporate America. Ifthe FBI is, in fact, looking to apprehend career criminals, they should shift their spyglasses from the trailer parks to the boardrooms of Fortune 500 companies.

For years, the media and society at large have labeled all members of certain groups bythe actions of a few. Guilt-by-association, for some unknown reason, applies to some ofsociety’s minorities and not others; no one targeted red-haired Christian gun nuts afterTimothy McVeigh bombed the Oklahoma City Federal Building, but it’s a sure bet thatArabic men interested in airline jobs are being advised to seek different career pathsthese days.

Surely, some Hells Angels have broken the law in lots of weird and horrible ways. But sohave plenty of Masons, Shriners, politicians and, as we learned last week, executives atenergy giant WorldCom and Qwest, a Denver-based telecommunications firm.

Of course, experienced members of the media know this already. It just doesn’t make agood story.

Bandit will sell his ’48 Pan to the Marines for service to the country.

MOTORCYCLE MARINES RIDE ON

OooooRah! In the jungles and rugged terrain of Nicaraguaand Panama during the “Banana Wars” and on the scarred landscape of France during WorldWar I, the Marine Corps and Harley-Davidson created a bond forged in combat. That bondwas recently renewed when two Marines rounded the corner of Constitution Avenue inWashington, D.C. this Fourth of July aboard Harley “Fatboys” during the NationalIndependence Day Parade, and the Motorcycle Marines were reborn.

“Starting this summer, hand picked Marine Recruiters will begin appearing at parades andregional events aboard gleaming, fire engine red and chrome Harley-Davidson motorcycles,”said Sergeant Jimmie Perkins in a USMC Recruiting Command story. The motorcycles willjoin the Marine Corps’ other event-marketing vehicle, a red Humvee.

“Harley-Davidson and the Marine Corps share a special place in the hearts of the Americanpeople,” said Major Gen. Jerry D. Humble, Commanding General of Marine Corps RecruitingCommand. “With a shared pride of being known as the best, Harley-Davidson and the UnitedStates Marine Corps represent ideals that have made our nation great.”

ROUND-THE-WORLD MOTORCYCLE RACE BEGINS The first ever round-the-world motorcycle racehas started from London.

Covering 25,000 miles through 20 countries, five deserts and four continents, the 24competitors will be on the road for 95 days. The event will raise more than $160,000 forcharities including Sight Savers, The Meningitis Fund and for Alzheimer’s groups.

Mr. Sanders – who holds the Guinness world record for riding around the globe on amotorcycle (31 days and 20 hours) – and who has bicycled around the world twice, says thecompetitors will have their minds on the grueling task of covering up to 1,000 miles aday. “The riders are going to find it hard. They have had to train a lot over the last12 months,” he said. “They will be riding an average of 400 to 700 miles and up to 18hours a day.”

After their send-off in England, the bikes will be shipped to the United States, wherethe race will officially begin in three weeks.

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH

Mayor Quits After Chucking Bottle At Biker. Criminal chargesmay be brought against former Sodus Point, New York, Mayor Donald Buchwald overallegations that he threw a plastic bottle at a passing motorcyclist, State Police toldthe Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper.

Buchwald resigned July 1, a day after he was accused of hitting the motorcyclist in theshoulder for driving too fast through the village in the early morning. Buchwald deniedthat he threw the bottle, saying he went out to the curb and only yelled at a group ofmotorcyclists to slow down and stop revving their bikes.

Trooper John Jackson said police have statements from 10 witnesses and the motorcyclistthat claim Buchwald was the culprit. “It’s not just a case of ‘He said, she said,'”Jackson said. “You have 10 people saying one thing and another person saying anotherthing. Who do you believe?”

The motorcyclist said that he didn’t see who threw the full bottle, but was told byfriends it was Buchwald. He was treated at a local hospital for a bruised arm.

WELCOME TO NCOM

The National Coalition of Motorcyclists would like to welcome new NCOMboard members “Little Jimmy” Rouse, Business Manager for the Modified MotorcycleAssociation (MMA) of California; Jimi Ricci, Chairman of the MMA of Massachusetts; and”Cotton” Tedder, President of the Concerned Bikers Association (CBA) of North Carolina.

NCOM bids a fond farewell to longtime board member Rick Nail, past-President of the CBAof North Carolina, who retired this year from the NCOM Board of Directors.

The NCOM Legislative Task Force wishes to welcome aboard two new members: Joe “Cowboy”Dickey, State Coordinator for ABATE of Pennsylvania, and Kate Butcher, former StatePresident of ABATE of West Virginia and wife of fellow NCOM-LTF member West VirginiaState Delegate Greg Butcher.NCOM would also like to welcome ABATE of Utah, Texas ABATE Confederation, and the Sons ofLiberty Riders to the NCOM family of Member Groups.

WELCOME ABOARD TO ALL!

NCOM BOARD MEMBER RUNS FOR OFFICE

The National Coalition of Motorcyclists has longadvocated getting our own people elected to legislative offices, and we are proud toannounce that NCOM board member Jeff Barone, President of the Rhode Island MotorcycleAssociation (RIMA), has tossed his hat in the political arena.

“As I announced at this year’s NCOM Convention, I have moved forward and declared to be acandidate for The Rhode Island House of Representatives,” beems Barone. “As you allknow, one of our goals is to get motorcyclists elected to public office. With having avoice at the State House, we will be heard. Although there are more issues than FREEDOMOF CHOICE, that will be my main platform along with AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE and a tightfocus on EDUCATION.”

As we all know, running for office takes money, so anyone interested in supporting Jeff’spolitical bid can send donations to “Friends To Elect Jeffrey P. Barone,” and mail themc/o 125 Smith Ave., Unit 3A, Greenville, RI 02828

QUOTABLE QUOTES: “So, Your Honor, the pledge is unconstitutional because it says ‘UnderGod’. Guess that means when you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible, and at the endof your oath repeated ‘So Help Me God,’ that makes your job unconstitutional, thereforeyou have no job, which means your ruling doesn’t mean squat.”Comedian DENNIS MILLER, regarding the judges who declared the Pledge of Allegianceunconstitutional

Continued From Page 3

HARLEY-DAVIDSON, INC. REPORTS RECORD SECOND QUARTERREVENUE AND EARNINGSHighly Anticipated New 100th Anniversary Models Introduced. ????? Harley-Davidson, Inc. (NYSE: HDI) today announced record revenue and earnings for its second quarter ended June 30, 2002. The Company’s second quarter revenue was $1.0 billion, an increase of 16.1 percent over the same period last year. Diluted earnings per share for the second quarter were 47 cents, a 25.4 percent increase compared to last year.

?In the midst of challenging economic times, we are pleased to deliver another record quarter,? said Jeffrey L. Bleustein, chairman and chief executive officer of Harley-Davidson, Inc. ?Worldwide retail sales of Harley-Davidson motorcycles for the first half of the year grew 19 percent over the same time period last year.?

?Our 100th Anniversary products were enthusiastically received by our global dealer network during our Summer Dealer Meeting which just concluded in Milwaukee. On July 17, several hundred of our dealers and employees will fire up the new bikes and head south to Atlanta for the kick-off of Harley-Davidson?s 100th Anniversary Open Road Tour. The Atlanta event, July 19-21, is the first of 10 events to be held around the world to celebrate our rich history and, more importantly, the beginning of our next 100 years,? said Bleustein.

FIREARM REFRESHER COURSE–A. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
B. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
C. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
D. Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
E.?If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
F. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
G. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
H. If you don’t know your rights you don’t have any.
I. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
J. The United States Constitution 1791. All Rights Reserved.
K. What part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?
L. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
M. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
N. Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians.
O. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
P. You don’t shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
Q. 911 – government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
R. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
S. Criminals love gun control – it makes their jobs safer.
T. If Guns cause Crime, then Matches cause Arson.
U. Only a government that is afraid of it’s citizens try to control?them.
V. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
W. Enforce the “gun control laws” we have, don’t make more.
X. When you remove the people’s right to bear arms, you create slaves.
Y. The American Revolution would never have happened with Gun Control.
Z.?”…a government by the people, for the people…”

–from Bob T.

STURGIS BILLBOARD FINAL–As usual John Siebenthaler created a masterful Billboard art for the badlands rally. Unfortunately there was some contraversy over the line at the bottom. After a minor chair-kicking, bottle throwing dispute this is what the billboard will boast.

FROM THE BIKERNET BLOND FILES– A man entered the bus, with his pockets full of golf balls, and sat downnext to a blond.

The blond kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”

The blond continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked,”Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

NEW LENS KITS FROM HARLEY-DAVIDSON HELP GET THE RED OUT
MILWAUKEE, June 18, 2002 – Blackout or crystal clear, Harley-Davidson’snew Turn Signal Lens Kits will have your motorcycle turning heads with a newcustom look. Whether you want to maximize the monochromatic look of theV-Rod or add further distinction to your Sportster, Dyna Glide, Softail orTouring model, these new lens kits will take the look of your motorcycle ina whole new direction.

The new Turn Signal Lens Kits from Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Partsand Genuine Motor Accessories can be used to replace the stock amber lensesfor a cleaner appearance in the front and rear of the vehicle.VRSCA lenses are available in either Clear (P/N 69309-02) or Smoked (P/N69315-02) versions. The kits include four lenses and four amber bulbs. Lenskits are also available for ’00 and later models with Bullet Turn Signals(P/N 69303-02 for Clear and P/N 69304-02 for Smoked); a version for ’86 andlater models with Flat Turn Signal Lenses (P/N 69307-02 for Clear and P/N69308-02 for Smoked) and a version for ’01 and earlier models equipped withDome Lens Style Turn Signals (PIN 69305-02 for Clear and PIN 693 06-02 forSmoked).

All Turn Signal Lens Kits are DOT approved and have a suggested U.S.retail price of $37.95.

For additional information on the new Turn Signal Lens Kits and otherHarley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories, see yourlocal Harley-Davidson dealer or visit the Harley-Davidson web site atwww.harley-davidson.com.

To find a dealer near you, call toll free1-800-443-2153 in the U.S.A. or Canada.

ONE MAN’S CODE–AMEN!! My ol’ grandpappy always told me, “Don’t HAVE problems, boy… Create’em for others!” I always try to take his advice.

–Buckshot

RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–I talked to Lee Clemens, of Departure Bike Works (Richmond, Virginia) today and he told me he would be arriving in Charlotte on Friday aftenoon(7-26-02). He plans on riding to the Smokeout with us on Sat. morning.

Oh by the way “Meanest” got a kite from Billy Lane, he said he would try to be here on Sun. for the run.Right now everything is in place. There will be a lot of riders at my house Sun. morning. Some of our local clubs will be there, that should be real cool! I have people calling all week about if it is o.k. to stop by my house Sun. morning. I have told them all it it would be cool if they stop by. I got a bike lined up for you, so don’t forget the lids! I am kinda getting excited.

Later!
Mike

BIKERNET POLICE EDIQUETTE–Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

THAT’S THE STORY–and we’re stickin’ with it, I suppose. Okay, so it’s hot as hell, but when she returns from the Post Office I’m rippin’ her clothes off and makin’ her mine this evening. Between the Hooter girls, the Saturday Bikernet party girls, the calendar girls and some of the babe spectators, I’m half out of my mind with lust.

Next week, it’s back on the Amazing Shrunken FXR and collectin’ reports from the run to Sturgis. Ride safe, everyone and duck the damn deer. –Bandit

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET REVEAL MILITARY STUDY– To ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors. Let’s pause a moment and take the following test.?

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
(a) Olga Corbutt?
(b) Sitting Bull?
(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1979,the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:?
(a) Lost Norwegians?
(b) Elvis?
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

During the 1980’s, a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:?
(a) John Dillinger?
(b) The King of Sweden?
(c) The Boy Scouts?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:?
(a) A pizza delivery boy?
(b) Pee Wee Herman?
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.?

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:?
(a) The Smurfs?
(b) Davy Jones?
(c) The Little Mermaid?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.?

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:?
(a) Captain Kid?
(b) Charles Lindberg?
(c) Mother Teresa?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:?
(a) Scooby Doo?
(b) The Tooth Fairy?
(c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid with dynamite left over from the train job.?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:?
(a) Richard Simmons?
(b) Grandma Moses?
(c) Michael Jordan?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:?
(a) Mr. Rogers?
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s women problems?
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: “Mustapha the Merciless”?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:?
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd?
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida?
(c) Mr. Bean?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:?
(a) Enron?
(b) The Lutheran Church?
(c) The NFL?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:?
(a) Bonny and Clyde?
(b) Captain Kangaroo?
(c) Billy Graham?
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?

Hmmm … nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling.

–from CarlR. QUOTE OF THE WEEK– An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk tospend time with his fools. –Ernest Hemingway

CYRIL HUZE’ NEW WEBSITE– Our entire website has been redesigned, with new pages, new graphics, new bikes and new parts. Enter our website at www.cyrilhuze.com and enjoy a new flash animation created by Damien Huze (yes, it’s?Cyril’s son).?Damien is a student at Florida Atlantic University and also professionally designs websites and?online stores for clients. Here the plug:: In any need of creative website ideas? Visit his company at: Huze Solutions (www.huzesolutions.com). At night he is the singer and lead guitar of a new-rock band called Switchmode (www.switchmode.net). This intro to our new site features one of our new?bikes built on our Kool Kat Softail frame.

The site now includes new pages like “Projects” where we?feature one of our bikes in progress?in our workshop. This one is built on our “Stray Kat” Rigid frame. The bike has already been mocked up, is in painting, and final assembly will?start at the end of July. Cyril named it Tattoo Chop! See?the birth of?this new custom?at:?http://www.cyrilhuze.com/projects.html.??

And?for all those?emailing all the time to know?about Cyril’s background, a new page is featuring his biography,?recent published interviews, and his own reflections about the future of customizing. All you wanted to know (almost) is there to satisfy your curiosity. You can?read about Cyril at: http://www.cyrilhuze.com/cyril.html

2- NEW FREE SCREENSAVER: We also posted online a brand new screensaver. It includes 30 breathtaking pictures of Cyril Huze best creations with 15 different?transitional effects.Download it for free at: http://www.cyrilhuze.com/downloads.html

3- NEW PARTS: Go to our online store?and?see our new parts: Category “Lightning”:(http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10004a)A?new cool L.E.D. vertical sidemount, 2?bullet Spikelights,?and a?very slick?headlight.

Category “Hardware”:(http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10009) New cool clamps and wiring guides. A must on all custom bikes.

ESCAPEE STORY–A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 35 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed.

He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed. Then he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife, “Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time behind bars and hasn’t seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, please don’t resist or complain. Just do what he tells you until he’s satisfied. This guy must be dangerous. If he gets angry, he might kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To this the wife responds, “Honey, I’m glad you think that way because he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong, honey. I love you too….”

–from Steve B.

BIG DOG CONTEST–Mike wants you to know that your friend signed you up for TheBringin’ Home Mike’s Big Dog Contest. You see Mike’s awarding 4 Big DogMotorcycles – one for the winner and three more for their friends. .

To find out more visithttp://bigdog.mikeshardlemonade.com/bigdog_html/signup.cfm?referid=479947

To increase your chances, enter under your name when you’re there. Toreally increase your chances, register every day until the contest closes.You can do that.

STURGIS ALL HARLEY DRAGS– Sturgis All Harley Drags, Aug. 5th-8th, 2002.Yes, it’s true, Drag Racing is back at the Sturgis 2002 Race and Rally, Aug. 5th-8th, 2002 Monday -Thursday evenings during the Sturgis Rally just 3 miles from downtown Sturgis Nitro will fill the air and you can run whatcha brung to win cash and trophies. Dazzle your friends, amaze yourself.

Dane Miller and Jim Turner are officiating the event which is billed as the largest cash purse EVER for Nitro, $10.000 to WIN the World Nitro Championship Eliminations. Plenty of Street Divisions to fit in even the most unique of engine configurations (as long as it’s a HARLEY).

Sturgis is on schedule. I have mailed the flyers for the richest race to date for Harley drags. Some Top Fuel racer can leave Sturgis with over $14,000. “We’re running 16 bike fields. So the money is there if someone wants to earn it,” Says long time drag race promoter, Dane Miller.

MONDAY Aug. 5th-Time Trials & World Nitro Championship Qualifying3 rounds of Free Runs for Sportsman & X-Dragster & qualifying for top 8 T/F Nitro HD’s.

TUESDAY Aug. 6th-World Nitro Championship Eliminations & Dash for Cash Non-qualified T/F have dash for low ET to win $1,000. Top 8 T/F Harleys start eliminations for World Nitro Championship: Winner-$10,000, R/U-$4,000, Semi-$2,000, Quarters-$1,500WEDNESDAY Aug. 7th-Sturgis Nationals (ACE RACING SERIES)3 rounds of qualifying for Sportsman, X-Dragster & T/F Harleys. 16 bike fields.

THURSDAY Aug. 8th-Sturgis Nationals EliminationsT/F: Win-$4,000, R/U-$2,000, Semi-$1,500, Quarters-$1,000, 1st RD-$750X-Dragster: Win-$2,000, R/U-$1,000, Semi-$500, Quarters-$300, 1st RD-$200
S/C class: Win-$1,000, R/U-$500, Semi-$200, Quarters-$100
S/G class: Win-$500, R/U-$200, Semi-$100
S/S class: Win-$500, R/U-$200, Semi-$100
ET class: Win-$1,000, R/U-$500, Semi-$250
Racer admission: Pro bike & rider-$150, Sportsman bike & rider-$75, Crew-$60
Gen. admission $20 each night.
Info-Rules: 336-229-4877, fax 336-227-4630
R.T. Shaw 605-347-3571 or HYPERLINK
mailto:Greatdane1958@triad.rr.com Greatdane1958@triad.rr.com

TBEAR ESCAPES PERSECUTION ONCE AGAIN– I did the Wild Pigs Buell?chopper and no good deed goes unpunished.I’m out riding today on my Panhead, doing the usual 80 in a 55, and a bubble gum machine goes off behind me. “Damn, not again.” ?I get pulled over by a Dutchess Co. Sheriff on a Harley. “Enjoying your ride?” he asks. “Why yes sir, beautiful day to be on the road, Guess I got a tad carried away, sorry bout that.” sez I. ” What’s that bulge in your jacket?’ he asks.

” That’s a few copies of The Horse Magazine, I write for them from time to time.” I was out hawking the mag to a few vendors here abouts and I had 3 copies of the Jan Issue with my Tahiti Tattoo article with me to pass out. Turns out he’s a reader and also goes on Bikernet and saw the Wild Pigs Buell Chopper. This guy is the Sgt. in charge of the Dutchess County Motor Squad and has a 1934 police bike and a 52 Panhead police bike. I told him I’d love to see them and he invited my by his place later in the week to check them out. We exchanged cards, I autographed a copy of the mag for him and off we went.

–TBear

Hey, you can subscribe to Horse directly through Bikernet. Check the home page.

BIKERNET WOMEN’S ADVICE“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”

–Dave Barry

THE CLOSE OF THE SHOW–What a goddamn day. Two women are in one bedroom while Layla is in the back taking care of business. What the hell am I supposed to do? Think I’ll wander out to the garage. Just ordered the front tire from Avon we need to pull the front end together and make the front fender fit.

I’m curious as hell about one report in the news, that Military report about all the Muslim attacks. Is that square business? Somebody let me know.

Remember, the Panhead’s for sale. Make me an offer goddamnit and have a helluva weekend.–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

CYRIL HUZE’ ALL SMOOTH HEADLIGHT– This all-smooth 5 3/4″ headlight?looks great?with all styles of bikes and is reasonably priced. Machined out of 6061-TC billet aluminum and perfectly chrome plated. It includes a sealed beam with a H4 style 55/60 watt halogen bulb and a chromed mounting block. Check his website at:? www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE–A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, butafter about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as sheran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the problemwas, and she explained.

After hearing the story the doctor marched back to the first and demanded,?What?s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grownchildren and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant??

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and asked, “Does she stillhave the hiccups??

–from Nuttboy

LA CALENDAR GIRL FOUND UNDER UMBRELLA–Los Angeles, CA, July 5th: The beautiful SBK FastDates.com Calendargirls who will be shooting on location at Laguna Seca World Superbike onthe July 12th-14th weekend with FastDates.com producer Jim Gianatsis forthe SBK World Superbike endorsed Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar,have also been selected by the World Superbike Championship winningDucati Corse team to be their official umbrella girls for their 3 riderteam including reigning and current season World Superbike Championshippoints leader Troy Bayless, together with Ruben Xaus and Ben Bostrom.

The SBK FastDates.com Calendar girls for Laguna Seca include Miss WorldGreat Britain, Nicola Lane, a tall and beautiful 5’9″professional model and theatrical dancer from London.Other confirmed FastDates.com models for Laguna Seca includebreathtaking 5′ 9″ brunette Lauren Nicole, a Los Angeles based printmodel and a spokesmodel on E! television, and current Fast Datescalendar model Shannon Gonzales.

Calendar girls Nicki Lane and Lauren Nicole will also be appearing inperson throughout the July 20-21st weekend for the premier of the 2003FastDates.com Calendars at the Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show atthe Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach, California, the biggest streetbike event in America. Complete details of the Calendars, the Models,and the Bike Show are available online at www.FastDates.com

BIKERNET DRUG USE STUDY– The long term implications of drug use and cosmetic enhancement procedures must be fully considered. Over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than has been spent on Alzheimer’s disease research. It is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a very large number of people wandering aimlessly with big breasts and huge erections who can’t remember what to do with them!

–from Nuttboy

THE GREEN MACHINE REPORT–

Recently, the Green Machine M/C of East Valley had invited your club and/orasked you to post our July 27, 2002 event flyer, which was to be held inWinchester at the Wild West Arena and to benefit the Juvenile DiabetesAssociation, onto your website events page. We appreciate those who werewilling to post it or indicated your attendance and look forward to seeingyou “in the wind” as we ride this summer.

However and unfortunately, the County of Riverside Sheriff’s DepartmentHemet Station has denied the “special use” permit required by the County toput on such an event, even after we demonstrated security measures, facilitylayout, timeframes, alcohol limitations and multiple events to take place.Without going into too much detail as to why, the primary reason was thesimple fact that we are “Bikers” and belong to a motorcycle club. Thisstereotyping is unfortunately very prominent these days and will be so forquite some time, despite the fact that more than seven large motorcycleevents have taken place incident free throughout the state and in otherssince Laughlin.

Nevertheless, we obviously can’t get the cancellation message out toeveryone who obtained the event information and so many will be riding intotown that day. So if you’re still planning on coming out to the area, aswill many because of the great location, we ask that you visit one of themany “Biker” friendly establishments within the Hemet, San Jacinto andWinchester areas, which are nearby Highway 79 and Highway 74 in RiversideCounty.

As a means of “silent protest”, this would be a great way to show those whochoose to profile that we “Bikers” as a community are upstanding andcontributing members to special causes and benefits, the communities we liveand places we work. On July 27, 2002, it would be great to see as manymotorcyclists ride thru the area to demonstrate the many who ride.

Unfortunately, this time it is not we who lose because of sensationalism andscare tactics practiced by certain bureaucrats, it is the local JuvenileDiabetes Association and those the organization serve who lose out.

Respectfully,

Green Machine M/C

SINGULAR REPORT FROM RUN TO THE WALL– ?That’s not a “before” advertisment for Nair, that’s me, the end product of two million years of human evolution! ?I was right in the middle of a week long bout of hay fever when this picture was shot, and in between a series of sneezes. ?

Also, just before I got off the freeway (and I cruise at 85-90 mph), a flying bag of wet cement .. or some very large insect .. couldn’t tell which, had hit me dead center in the snot locker (nose). ?Whatever hit me bloodied my nose .. I actually saw stars for a moment .. and my face ?was covered with bug goo. ?Lots of bug goo! ?

As soon as we got off the bike at Pikes Peak H-D, I looked in the mirror to check for damage. ?I remember telling Sheri that I looked like someone who had just had a long, hard, satisfying drink from the Yak gut drain at a high volume slaughterhouse! ?

This picture was taken just after I washed my face with water from my canteen, but before I brushed the chunks of thorax from my beard and hair. ?Other than that, I’m proud to have my picture representing Run For The Wall 2002 in this very patriotic 4th of July Independence Day issue of the Colorado Springs Gazette.

POLISH SAUSAGE– A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?”

The guy, clearly offended says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something.If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya?”

The clerk says, “Well, no.”

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?”

The clerk replies, “Because this is a hardware store.”

–from Chris T.

TELEMARKETING CURE– I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren’t able to call people at home during the dinner hour. But that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed “Three Little Words” based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation, that would stop the nuisance for all time. The three little words are “Hold on, please.”

Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately — would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company’s beep-beep-beep tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you’ll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.

–from Chris T.

HEY, WE PROMISED–to bring you another report on the progress of this bike from Easyriders of Quincy, Illinois. I was frankly knocked-out by some of the design and workmanship. And once more we promise to bring you more on this shop in the near future. Also check out their web site http://www.easyridersquincy.com

*Most Definitely*–A martial arts school teacher says to his class, “Who can use the word’Definitely’ in a sentence?”

First, a little girl, Nyla, says, “The sky is definitely blue.” ?

Teacher says,”Sorry Nyla, but the sky can be gray or orange…”

Second, a little boy, Keith, says …”Trees are definitely green.” ?

“Sorry, but inthe autumn, the trees are brown.”

Little Karley from the back of the class stands up and asks: “Does a farthave lumps?”

The Sensei looks horrified and says…”Karley! Of course not!!!”

“OK…then I most DEFINITELY shit my pants…”

–from Dick Bondano

Continued On Page 3

Besides tearing up the sheets we’re busting our asses to have a rolling chassis for the Queen Mary Show next week. It’s something completely different and we plan to have it perched in the Joker Machine Booth if we muster the final parts together. Wait, one more thing. The price for the concert has been reduced to $35 bucks, just for people who mention Bikernet. I’ll see you there.Life is crazy, let’s get to the news.

EASYRIDERS CRUNCHING NUMBERS– Did you hear about the new round of firings atEASYRIDERS? Cathie Stitch, Gaea, and Cathy Thalman got axed.They also got rid of the new editor of Savage.

Ingred Insider

Unfortunately some of these employees have been with the company over 25 years.

THE SCOTSMAN’S CODE–After a couple of drinks at a company party, a young woman’s curiosity got the best of her when she noticed a Scotsman at the bar.

Smiling, she asked, “So…just what is it that you Scots really wear under your kilt?”

He smiled broadly and said, “Well, Lass, on a good day, just a little lipstick!”

–from Ray R.

CAMPAIGN FOR THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE–?Their goal is to get 4,000,000 Americans to digitally sign the Pledge of Allegiance online, one thousand for every man, woman and child killed by terrorists on September 11, 2001. These online signatures will then be displayed at Ground Zero in New York on the one-year anniversary of 9-11 this year. ?This is one way we can show support for our country and its freedoms. ?By standing united, we are not only honoring the victims but also sending a strong message to the likes of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and Yassar Arafat. ?

This link will take you to the site. ??http://www.patriotdrive.org ??Or http://www.SignThePledgeOfAllegiance.org

–from the Wild Woman of San Pedro

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–It’s almost 5:00 am right now, yes just got back from the shop, like I havebeen for the past week or so. As soon as we fired the WCC # 5, I decided to start a project for Sturgisthis year. Yep, call me fucking insane….. By the way, we only have fourmore days ’till our trailer starts the ocean voyage to the US. Since theWCC #5 bike will be done by tomorrow (just slight details), we will work ona ’65 Panhead that I want to take to the Black Hills. It’s a mad scramble,and you will figure out when you see the photos that I lost it big time. Let’s see what happens before I get commited to the loco hospital.

Let’s up the ante a bit, e-mail me at the Bikernet Your Shot, letters to the editor page, if you think that I can finish this bike in time. I always have next week to update on the progress( actually, completion by then…).

I took a couple photos of the two bikes just a bit ago, they are not thebest, but what the hell can you expect after a 20 hour work day ! I willpost the proper photos next week when I can shoot them in daylight.I have to use this forum to thank Guti, Ramon, Luis, Carlos, Rafi and Chenifor helping out on all 10 bikes about to hit the boat, whileliving on Coca Cola and cigarettes to survive the long days and nights.

Imagine the rush that the powdercoated parts for the WCC were completed in threehours by our local guys, and all the UPS packages have a red stickerattached to them.

Oh well….. That’s it for now, the super short version of the CaribbeanReport. Still gotta load the trailer and do that Pan…

See ya next week.

Jose

Excuses Feedback–

Pablo,
This article definitely applies to me…every bit of it…I’m going tostart the program…I’m glad I finally have “the road map”! This is the finest article ever written!

Kerric

Check out the story- Excuses Marriage Counseling 101

OHIO TOWN ENDS PROHIBITION– Prohibition has finally ended for this Akron suburb.

For the first time in more than 80 years, alcohol sales became legal Monday in Tallmadge, with Mayor Christopher Grimm getting things going by sipping on a microbrew beer at Delanie’s Neighborhood Grille.

When Prohibition ended in 1933, Tallmadge refused to allow local sales, fearful of too many taverns.

The change, approved by voters last year, was prompted by a desire to attract chain restaurants that depend on liquor sales.

Here’s the Run For Breath Banner for this year. The run takes place the 28th of July our of Charlotte. Contact Charlotte H-D for information–Bandit.

RUN FROM BREATH COMING RIGHT UP–We had the next-to-last meeting for the Run For Breath last night. Lots of frantic, last-minute details to attend to, but overall things are going very well. We read on bikernet that Discovery will be at the Smokeout following Billy Lane.

I have sent Billy Lane an e-mail inviting him to the run on Sunday. Of course, he isn’t as famous as YOU, but we thought another celebrity (although a minor one, compared to you!) couldn’t hurt our cause. I also told him that you would be here that weekend, and that we’ll look him up on Saturday.

Mike, the Run For Breath Founder, is off to Milwaukee tomorrow, the armpit of the country, as he fondly calls it! He will report in next week.

–Meanest

THREE OLD MEN DISCUSS SEX LIVES–The Italian man says, “Last week my wife and I had greatsex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we madepassionate love, and she screamed for 5 minutes at the end.”

The Frenchman boasts, “Last week when my wife and I had sex,I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then madepassionate love and she screamed for 15 minutes at the end.”

The old Jewish man says, “Well, last week my wife and I hadsex too. I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz(kosher chicken fat), we made love, and she screamed for 6hours afterwards.”

The Italian and Frenchman were stunned.

They replied, “What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for 6 hours?”

“I wiped my hands on the drapes.”

–from Josh P.

HOLLISTER A SUCCESS–SO FAR–I received a call in the middle of the night, Wednesday night. The voice was slurred and drifted as if the man was semi-unconscious. By the third word I knew it was Wino Joe reporting from Hollister. The message was garbled and indistinct, but the bottom line is that Hollister went off without a hitch.

CONFESSION–One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her sins, came to a Baptist church. She got up in front of the congregation and stated, “Last week, I slept with a young soldier who picked me up at a bar and now I ask the Lord’s forgiveness.”

“Hallelujah!”, cried the congregation.

She continued, “Two days ago, I slept with a young sailor, but now I ask the Lord’s forgiveness.”

“Hallelujah!”, cried the congregation again.

“But tonight, because I have come here and done my penance, I will sleep with the Lord,” she finished.

But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in the back yelled out in a clear voice, “That’s right momma, fuck ’em all.”

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 2

SAN DIEGO’S CYCLE VISIONS POKER RUN–Cycle Visions 2nd annual donor awareness poker run is scheduled for Sunday, July 7th… $25.00 donation to benefit Childrens Hospital ($20.00 to Childrens – $5.00 winnings) *Food * Prizes * Refreshments* There will also be a judged bike show, live music donated by the Ravens. 1st place $500, and 2nd place $250.00 ($25 show entry)…. We will also be having other raffles…the grand prize is a pool table donated by Olhausen pool tables and a Harley Davidson jacket donated by Cycle Visions. Sign in is between 9:30 – 10:30….Cycle Visions, 4263 Taylor Street, San Diego, CA 92110 (619) 295.7800

On July 7, 2002 Cycle Visions is holding a fundraiser benefiting Children’s Hospital and Health Center. The day will start with a Poker Run and conclude at Cycle Visions in Old Town with a judged bike show, live music donated by the Ravens, food and drink. The grand prize is a pool table donated by Olhausen Pool Tables and a Harley Davidson jacket donated by Cycle Visions.

This event started out about two years ago as a donor awareness ride to bring attention to one of our customer’s need for a kidney/pancreas transplant. Dawn lost her sight at the age of 21 due to diabetes and was on dialysis for 13 months. That didn’t stop her from enjoying more than 32,000 miles on the back of her friend Ken Padilla’s motorcycle. Incidentally she went into the hospital for the operation the same day of the Donor Awareness Run. Today she serves as the spokesperson for this event.

Sign-up for the poker run will be between 9:30 and 10:30 at Cycle Visions. The suggested donation for the poker hand is $25. Another $25 will enter a bike in the show with a chance to win $500 for first prize and $250 for second. All makes of motorcycles are welcome.

CRUISING RIDER REPORT–Just got advance copy. GREAT editorial column (Gunplay). I have to admit,the one-two punch of you and “Bandit” Ball is the best commentary of any EPGtitle in my humble opinion. I thoroughly enjoy readingKickin It and Uneasy Rider every issue!

ICE CREAM MAN FROM HELL–I’m the WebBastard for the Ice Cream Man From Hell and Crippled Old Biker Bastards, among others. Jim, the I.C.M.F.H. wanted me to contact you regarding linking up with Bikernet.

He also would like to get in phone contact with you. Please let me know how we can link up and if you would forward a phone number for Jim to give you a call that would be appreciated. The C.O.B.B. site was just launched last week so it’s in it’s infancy stage right now, the site that is, the C.O.B.B. Society is growing in leaps and bounds! A link page has to be established yet as well as more member pictures, stories and what-not.

Thanks for your attention.?

C.O.B.B. 4-ever,

Scott Free
PA State COBBinet Representative
WebBastard @ www.icmfh.com &
www.cobbsociety.com

HOLLISTER REPORT–Mr.5 Ball. Thanks for your support. Hollister is a community event. Itreally helps the KIDS. Sometimes I get down on all of us bad-ass bikershelpin’out. But, this is my homeCamp.

Flash this one. Check outHOLLISTER FOREVER Click-on “Clubhouse” for moreinfo/leave a post on tha “wall”. Or check tha links.

FTW has you.

LATEST DEADWOOD REPORT–I’ve attached a link to the story in today’s Spearfish newspaper.Deadwood residents can begin returning home this evening beginning at8:00 P.M. The fire is along and south of Boulder Canyon now which isthe road between Sturgis and Deadwood. It is believed it will becontained in that area.

Guy Edwards
Sturgis

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=4616648&BRD=1300&PAG=461&dept_id=156925&rfi=6

GAMBLER’S REMORSE–A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail.

The cabbie said, “If you don’t have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!” So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, “How much for a ride to the airport,” he asked?

“Fifteen bucks,”came the reply.

“And how much for you to perform oral sex on me on the way?”

“What?! Get the hell out of my cab.”

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked ” How much for a ride to the airport? “The cabby replied “fifteen bucks. ”

The businessman said “ok” and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers….

TWO HELL’S ANGELS PROSPECTS WOUNDED–By DAVID TIRRELL-WYSOCKI.c The Associated Press.

Two prospective members of the Hell’s Angels motorcycleclub were shot and wounded Saturday in what police said appeared to be acontinuation of gang rivalry.

The shootings came less than two weeks after thousands of bikers from aroundNorth America left the area after their annual Motorcycle Week, which hadbrought police warnings of potential violence.

“It appears to be part of the ongoing cycle of violence between themotorcycle gang rivals,” said Sgt. John MacLellan.

In May, nine members of the Pagans motorcycle gang pleaded guilty to assaultcharges from a fight in which one man was killed at a Hells Angels motorcyclerally and tattoo expo at Plainview, N.Y. Authorities said the battle, whichalso injured at least 10 people, arose from turf disputes between the twoclubs.

MacLellan said Saturday’s shooting happened along a highway somewhere betweenLoudon and Laconia, north of Concord in central New Hampshire. The bikers,who weren’t identified, were treated at Lakes Region General Hospital forgunshot wounds and were released.

MacLellan said details of the shooting were sketchy because the two men, bothNew Hampshire residents, wouldn’t say much to police.

Laconia Chief Bill Baker said the shootings were what police had tried toprevent during Motorcycle Week. Some businesspeople and local politicians had criticized Baker for hiswarnings of potential violence at the event, accusing him of being analarmist and of working to harm the lucrative annual event.

City officials denied vending permits for Hells Angels to sell memorabiliaduring Motorcycle Week, but were overruled by the state Supreme Court.

CHILDREN’S CHARITY EVENT MOVED DUE TO CLUB WARS–All motorcycle related events in Ventura County, California have been canceled due to the disputes between clubs. This decision included the Exceptional Children’s Society Annual Beach Ride. The charity still needs the support so a special concert was schedule in Ventura. Try to make it and support the kids.

BIKERNET QUOTE OF THE WEEK–I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. –Frank Sinatra

JAMES BOND ON BIKERNET–A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The women notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, ” It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”

–from Chris T.

Tattoo Of The Week–

Debra Davis , Calhoun , GA

PS : My husband told me if I wasgoing to get a tattoo not to be a pussy get me a big tattoo I could beproud of ! So what do you think ?

Thanks for sharing Debra. Your tattoo looks great! I’m still waitingfor others to submit their tattoos. Don’t be shy, get your fifteen minutesof fame here on Bikernet.com!

Sin

BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT–Damn, it’s 1600 and I’m still chained to this goddamn keyboard. I’m outta here. Have a great holiday and becareful, goddamnit.–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT FOR THE 4TH– First and foremost, Happy fourth of July to all, it’s great when you areable to celebrate your independence, I guess in more ways than one. Don’tlet those freedoms that were set by the efforts of others go to waste.

It’s great that we have been receiving more and more e-mails from Bikernetreaders, we are glad that we can help with the questions and builds. Alsowe have received several messages asking for the Chopper Freak ™ shirts,and even better some messages with the finished projects after months ofe-mailing back and forth with questions and answers. All of this is verycool to me. Part of this web-site is based in helping anyone with theirprojects or whatever needs (finding girls and stuff like that need notapply). I’m sure there’s a few decades of bike building knowledge amongstthe staff at Bikernet, so use the tools you have !

You have the power to post questions in “It’s your shot” or e-mail any ofus directly, for sure stuff that someone does not know, someone else will.A few years ago I used to help out on a Compuserve forum by American Iron,it was a great venue for helping each other out, meeting people and havinga bit of fun, even though it was a small forum (by Bikernet standards) weare still friends and e-mail each other from time to time. I guess what I’mtrying to say is, don’t just use Bikernet to read stuff, participate andask,we have the technology. And when those bikes are done, send the photosover, I would love to see them.

Like I said before, here’s two shots of Bikernet readers rides, the coolass rigid 57′ Panhead belongs to Kevin from sunny (and fuckin’ humidFlorida) and that sweet black Evo belongs to Rob from California, enjoythe bikes folks.

On the Jack Daniels BBQ news, Guti and Ramon, got a couple trophies, it’sbeen 5 outa 6 years winning awards, congrats.Also thanks to all the guys that helped us out, you know who you are. MaybeFerlin the blind photographer will send me the BBQ photos one of thesedays….Nope, not holding my breath.

We are working on a new series of Caribbean Choppers, our design, ourstyle, we are aiming for Biketoberfest and you will see them here first.The ideas and components are on paper right now, but let’s say you willsave some money on shocks and front fenders… and no posers, there will beloud and kick only.

Oh well, time flies when you are rushing a bike for Sturgis, while youparty tomorrow have a cold one on me, we will be on a mad scramble to putthe chopper together since everything has to be on the ship by nextThrusday…Let’s see what happens…

See ya in the Black Hills….

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet report.

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT– Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border San Antonio, Texas (Rooters) Unwilling to wait for their eventualindictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketingexpense.

“They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-bookedthe revenues,” said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso”Right in front of my daughters.”

Calling themselves the CEOnistas, the chief executives were firstspotted last night along the Rio Grande River near Quemado, where they boughteach of the town’s 320 residents by borrowing against pension fund gains. Bylate this morning, the CEOnistas had arbitrarily inflated Quemado’spopulation to 960, and declared a 200 percent profit for the fiscal second quarter.

This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its underperforming areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5 billion.

Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably frustrated.

“First of all, they’re very hard to find because they always standbehind their numbers, and the numbers keep shifting,” said posse spokesman Dean Levitt. “And every time we yell ‘Stop in the name of the shareholders!’, they refer us to investor relations. I’ve been on the phone all damn morning.”

“YOU’LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!” The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common executive weakness. “Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as a CNBC anchor,” said U.S.Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis. “It was like moths to a flame.”

–from Josh

SAMSON MANUFACTURES WALLPAPER–We hard a hard time believing this report until we captured a sample of the new Samson pipe hauling truck. Check the Samson site or the department on Bikernet for free samples.

NEWS FROM WHITEHORSE PRESS–Just Published! MOTORCYCLE DETAILING MADE EASY: THE SECRETS FOR MAKING ANYBIKE LOOK ITS BEST, by David H. Jacobs, Jr., 143 pages, $19.95.

If you think you know how to keep your motorcycle clean and shiny, thinkagain! In this practical new book, author Dave Jacobs will teach you thingsyou didn’t even know you didn’t know. With lots of clear photos toillustrate every procedure, you can learn all the tricks for making the mostof your cleaning and care sessions. By evaluating what sort of work isneeded for each part of the bike and beginning with the mildest methods forthe given material, you can revitalize an old machine and keep a new onelooking showroom sharp.

To order a copy of MOTORCYCLE DETAILING MADE EASY, click onhttp://www.WhitehorsePress.com/Email.asp?CN=50245&EN=en0206&ID=MDME

I RIDE ALONE —is a new 35mm feature film being produced by NELSON MADISON FILMS for release in Fall 2003 with it’s premiere slated to be held in Sturgis during Harley’s 100th Birthday Bash. This film is an action packed, fictional drama featuring riders and their bikes as they cruise the open highway experiencing life and all it has to offer. It is a tale of personal freedom, commraderie, mis-adventures, tragic humor, great bikes and great characters. An ensemble cast of actors and the bikes that they ride is sure to make this film a favorite with everyone that feels the call of the open road. Check back often to see how production is going.

The cast, which is expected to include a host of memorable actors that ride for real will be announced here soon.

To check out the culture, visit http://www.bikernet.com Keith “Bandit” Ball, author, editor and host of bikernet, will be posting regular updates on the film production, including “dailies” and sneak previews of the script. Watch for cool merchandise and contests coming soon.

To check out some awesome bikes, visit http://www.paulyaffeoriginals.com Paul Yaffee, creator of some of the most awesome machines on the planet will be building four custom bikes that will be featured in the film and later auctioned off for a soon to be announced charity. Watch for sketches and pictures from the shop, as they get built.

If you’d like to get involved and be a part of film history in the making, send us an e-mail and we’ll send you more information on sponsorship, investment (accredited investors only), media, or anything else you want to know about. Send e-mail to: info@nelsonmadisonfilms.com

RARE BUELL CHOPPER CAPTURED–Bandit, I hear you have a fondness for the Buell…I ran into a group on NYS Troopers ( Wild Pigs) at a party this weekend.One of the guys was running the snot out of this. He put it together himself and it was looking sweeeeet. It’s a Buell in a softail H-D frame with a crap load of home made parts. It’s not quite show finished yet, He’s having too much fun riding it to finish it up just yet.

I’m gonna submit it to the Bikernet Cyber Bike Show for him soon. I’ll get a shot of him in uniform on it for a feature on the site.

Just thought you’d appreciate the work in it and the inventiveness.

–TBear

CICCOTTO TAKES FOURTH BUELL PRO THUNDER PODIUMBuell Firebolt Rider Second at Brainerd Event.

Mike Ciccotto of Sebastian, Fla. rode a Hal?s Performance Advantage Buell Firebolt XB9R in its fourth consecutive podium finish, placing second in the Buell Pro Thunder Series event at The Colonel?s Brainerd International Raceway here today. The strong finish helped Ciccotto maintain his second position in the Buell Pro Thunder Series points standings.

The race was not without some drama for Ciccotto, who was running in the draft of Kirk McCarthy down Brainerd?s long front straight when a gust of wind almost blew him off the track. ?I was just coming into Turn One really hot at about 150 mph when the wind caught me and I lost the front end,? said Ciccotto. ?The bike slid right to the edge of the track before I caught it. It was a little unnerving.?Ciccotto recovered from the slide, but was unable to catch Buell Pro Thunder Series points leader McCarthy, who won the race aboard a Ducati 748. Thomas Montano of Berkeley, Calf. was third, also aboard Ducati. David Estock of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., rode a Buell Firebolt XB9R entered by Tilly?s Harley-Davidson to fourth place.The fifth and final event on the Buell Pro Thunder Series is July 13, 2002 at Laguna Seca Raceway, Monterey, Calif., and Ciccotto thinks a season of hard work will pay off at that event.

–from Ray R.

NORTH TEXAS CHAMPIONSHIPS JULY 6TH– The Texas Scooter Times “Home of the Texas Style Party Drags” would like to remind everyone about the North Texas Championships July 6th (This Saturday) at Texas Raceway in Ft. Worth, Texas.Featuring Nitro Harleys with 28 Sportsman Classes for ANY Type of Harley!Live Band – Vendor Midway – Burn Out Contests- “Saturday Nite Under the Lites!” – Don’t Miss It!Gates open at 4pm – Time Trials Start at 5pm – Eliminations Start at 8pm.for more information visit www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066

Track Location: Take Business 287 exit off I-20 in South Ft. Worth. Go South about 2 miles and turn right at the top of the hill on New Hope Rd. Track is 1 mile down on the Right.

Also we would like to Remind everyone about the Conroe Swap Meet July 14th at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds. Our first show at this new location was a huge success and this ones shaping up to be better!Live Band – Doorprises – Discounted Parts – Swap Meet Bargains – Don’t Miss It !

Continued On Page 3

Let’s get to the holiday news quick. I need to get out of the headquarters and into the party mode:

EASYRIDERS STORES TURN HOTBIKE–Rumor from the streets is that Easyriders has demanded more from their licensed stores. They’ve threatened to put the stores back into the franchise mode or pull the name. According to a number of store owners the name isn’t holding its own anymore. Stockholders are upset.

Seems HotBike has offered the stores a better deal so the stores once called ER of Alburque, etc. may become HotBike of Alburque. More news will be forthcoming.

Dual Disc Front End Kits for FL Softail(r) Models From CustomChrome–The perfect solution for custom bikes or converting an FX Softail(r) to aHeritage-style front end Features caliper lugs on both lower legs for dualfront discs offering vastly improved stopping power. Complete kit withchrome triple trees, fork tubes, fork sliders, slider covers (cowbells),bearing dustcovers, Timken bearings, and all necessary hardware. Availablewith chrome or polished lower legs.

Requires two stock or aftermarket 1984 thru 1999 front calipers androtors, 11/16″-bore master cylinder, special speedometer drive, axle spacersand dual flange front wheel.

09-351Kit with chrome lower legs
09-353Kit with polished lower legs
19-79916″ x 3″ 40-spoke dual flange front wheel
09-653Speedometer drive unit
92-365Axle spacer conversion set

FIRES BURN CLOSE TO STURGIS–The page below when you bring it up will show some of the pictures ofthe fire near Deadwood. Deadwood still remains evacuated. Hot windsare making the fire hard to hold, but it sounds like the worst of thedanger has passed.http://www.rapidcityjournal.com/wildfire2.html

An aerial photo looks down on Deadwood early Saturday evening as fire ranges around the town. Deadwood Gulch Resort is at right and Lower Deadwood at left.(Photo courtesy of Tom Warner)A smoke plume from the Grizzly Gulch Fire could be seen for more than 100 miles and was moving over Bear Butte and Sturgis in this aerial photo taken about 8 p.m. Saturday.(Courtesy photo by Tom Warner)

A smoke plume from the Grizzly Gulch Fire could be seen for more than 100 miles and was moving over Bear Butte and Sturgis in this photo. (Photo courtesy of Tom Warner)This aerial photo was taken at 3:45 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 8, 1959, three hours after the Deadwood fire started west of the city. Deadwood is in right center of the photo, and Lead is at lower left. The 1959 fire started along the Central City-Deadwood highway at left center. (Journal file photo )

In this view from U.S. Highway 85 at sundown, the fire can be seen cresting a hilltop overlooking the town of Deadwood.(Journal photo by Dick Kettlewell)The observation deck on Terry Peak, five miles west of the Grizzly Gulch Fire, offered a panoramic view for dozens of onlookers, including, from left: Ryan Huck, 15, of Lead; Brady Maynard, 17, Deadwood: Dylan Laskowski, 15, Lead; and Casey Davis, 18, Lead. (Journal photo by Bill Harlan).

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR ROLLS INTO NEXT STAGE–We received fenders from Cyril Huze Customs this week and began the plan for shrinking the swingarm. We have also decided to attach the fender to the swingarm so it cups the tire in the old school approach. We also ordered a Huze tank to continuing the styling of the Cyril swoop.

We also bought a new welder for the headquarters, a Millermatic. We are now up to date with welding equipment for widening the front fender, modifications to the frame and gas tank. The hardwork is ahead, but we’re all over it. Watch for the shortened swingarm next week.

ATLANTA HARLEY-DAVIDSON OPEN ROAD TOUR–AtlantaHarley-Davidson 100th Anniversary Open RoadAtlanta, GA, will be held at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, 1500 Highways 19 & 41 South Hampton, GA 30228.July 19, 2002 – 19th Annual Harley Owners Group Annual RallyJuly 20-21, 2002 Open Road Tour takes place.It’s open to public 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. daily.

Atlanta Motor Speedway is approximately 30 miles south of downtown Atlanta Traveling South on 1-75, take Exit #235 (15 miles south of downtown Atlanta) to U.S. Highway 19 & 41 South and continue for 15 miles. Traveling North on 1-75, take Exit #205 (Ga. 16) and proceed west through Griffin to U.S. Highway 19 & 41 north to Hampton.

4TH OF JULY THOUGHTS–Remembering what today celebrates. I think of those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we remain free.HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE DAY.take a minute to remember that today is not just about BBQ,s and beaches.Now, back to the party…

–TBear

SONNY BARGER REPORT–Across this great country, we each express the American spirit and pride in our own way. Sonny celebrates the Fourth of July by riding to the Hollister Independence Rally.

Next week, join him and other riders in Sierra Vista, Arizona. Get all the info including maps and weather forecasts on the Meet Sonny page, which now also shows his radio and television appearances:http://sonnybarger.com/meet

His latest book, Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free, has been well received on both sides of the Atlantic. See the reviews from USA Today and the London Daily Telegraph:http://sonnybarger.com/home

You can listen to an online clip from the audio version of the book:http://sonnybarger.com/book

And there is a new t-shirt with Sonny’s picture from the book jacket:http://sonnybarger.com/store

Sonny Barger Premium Lager is on sale in Minnesota, and in South Dakota in time for the Black Hills Rally. The web site will guide you to “Where’s the Beer?” as more locations carry it. Learn more, sign up for free stuff and give us tips for retailers and distributors in your area:http://sonnybarger.com/beer

More photos of Sonny with fans and friends have been added:http://sonnybarger.com/fotoComing later this month: Sonny Barger Hellfire hot sauces and salsa, and the Sonny Barger Emergency Roadside Motorcycle Repair Kit.

THE BLOND ON A HORSE, NO NOT HORSE MAGAZINE–A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had nolessonsor prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horseimmediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde beginstoslipfrom the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, butcannotseemto get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’sneck,butshe slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally,giving up her frail grip the blonde attempts to leap away from thehorseandthrow herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot had become entangledinthestirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves asherheadis struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments awayfromunconsciousness when to her great fortune …..Bill, the WalMart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

–from Barry C.

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This is a new illustration from the master Jon Towle for Bandit’s Cantina. It’s Puss In Boots, one of our sexual advice columnists.

JON TOWLE GUARDS NICK THE DICK–The master illustration of the majority of the art on Bikernet is Jon Towle. He is also the angry creator of the loser Nick The Dick cartoon series featured in the Laugh Room of Bikernet. Here’s his story:”Do you remember me telling you a few weeks back, that I was doing asearch on “google” search engine, looking to see what was out thereunder the nick the dick name, and there was some faggot dick suckingsite with the same name? Well, I wrote them with some nice attitudeconcerns at first, and they got a little pissy with me. I then made somereal time threats (’cause nick is my baby), and I just found out theytook off their site listing from google.

This makes me happy because their site will not confuse nick fans with afag-ass location. I don’t need to go into what I told them I would do,but the good thing is, it worked, as it should.

Yeah for me, and us!have a nice goddamn day.

Jon-

International Harley-Davidson MEETUP Day is Wednesday, July 24 @ 7:00PM!You’re leaders in the online Harley-Davidson community, and we’re hoping you can help spread the word to Harley Fanatics everywhere — up to 540 cities worldwide. On Wednesday, July 24 @ 7:00PM, they can meet face to face with other Harley Fanatics in their town.

See the Harley-Davidson MEETUP page:http://harley.meetup.com

Link to us to help spread the word:http://harley.meetup.com/link.jsp

MEETUPs are informal local, face-to-face gatherings – we want to create an opportunity for people who share an interest or passion to get together and talk, debate, gossip or plan something cool. They happen monthly in over 500 cities worldwide and we’ve tried to make it easy by picking some good MEETUP spots for these events, including local cafes, bars, and restaurants.

Questions, ideas or comments? Write to me – Really, I do want to hear from you:mailto:topic_czar@meetup.com

–Jen

PERFUME TERROR– Seven women have died after inhaling a free perfume sample that was mailed to them. The product was poisonous. If you receive free samples inthe mail such as lotions, perfumes, etc., throw them away.

The government is afraid that this might be another terrorist act.They will not announce it on the news because they do not want to create panicor give the terrorists new ideas.

–Kris B.

BROS CLUB SPORTS NEW LOGO–We support the bros club for several reasons. Their road service is designed for riders and if you need help, you be assisted by people who know how to work with motorcycles. They are also available for insurance needs.

We have also contacted a well know motorcycle journalist Dave Aldridge who will send assistance “Stories from the Road” beginning next week. For more information contact:

Liz Holt, Member Services
BROS Club North America
Emergency Roadside Assistance – Cycle Insurance
P.O. Box 3238
South Pasadena, CA 91031-6238
626-403-8104 800-547-2767(option 2) FAX 626-441-3975
mailto:info@brosclub.org
http://www.brosclub.org
AFFORDABLE ROAD SERVICE FOR RIDERSNEVER BE STRANDED AGAIN

FROM THE ANTI-MALE FILE–How does a man show he’s planning for the Future?He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Hot Bike presents the White BrothersLos Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show Sponsored By Bikernet.Com– Exciting 2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set forJuly 20 -21st at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach.

The 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show set for July 20-21st at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA, is really coming together with 130 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, and featured on the Speed Channel’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets. http://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM

Exciting features at this year’s Show include an added celebrity host, legendary biker journalist Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

The lovely Brenda Fox.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by LA’s hottest new performance show band Powder with lead singer Ninette. If you like the well known band No Doubt with lead singer Gwen Stefani, then the talents of Powder will blow you away even further with their electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

And of course, the Calendar Bike Show Show features the most competitive Bike Contest on the West Coast with it?s prestigious new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance.

Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, the Bike Contest and all the available weekend activities online at www.FastDates.com.

See you at the Show!
Best wishes,
Jim Gianatsis

CLOSE THE BOOK ON THE NEWS–It’s time to hit the road. I hold off downing a Jack until the news is complete, since I’d never finish ranting and raving after my third drink.

We’ve got it made, being bikers, but we’ve got to be diligent and protective of our freedoms and this joint we call home. Interesting times.

Watch the site for more updates and if you can’t get enough, there’s another news column every Sunday (unless margaritas get the best of me), in the Cantina. Motorcycle Online an-all model, road test site just went subscription based due to a lack of advertising dollars. Hang in their guys.

Have a helluva weekend and ride safe, goddamnit. I don’t want anyone to become a statistic, or make a girl cry. My Afghan fighting brother thinks I’m going soft. The martial arts master thinks I hit too hard. Who the fuck knows. Ride forever–Bandit.