BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS–VOTE

Our bikernet memorial to the Buell from the 2001 run to Sturgis now hangs over the Garage.

It’s one of those days. I can’t seem to download an image. I tried to take shots of the Buell tank and all the camera batteries are dead. The women around here are going in four different directions and the weather can’t decide to rain or be record breaking hot.

The touring chopper fabricated by Jesse James was sold recently. I’ve been detailing it for the last two weeks. I replaced the custom bagger with a 2003 Road King Classic and you’ll discover in the news today that we are beginning a department on this King so you can watch what we do to the latest Twin Cam EFI model.

Until the Touring Chopper is loaded on the Gold truck and heading for the east coast we have suspended work on the Shrunken FXR. As of sometime next week the Shrunken FXR will return to the lift.

What else can I tell you. Ah screw it, let’s get to the news. Hopefully, by the end the Jack will flowing, the sun shinning and naked women will return:

GET A GRIP–Dewey’s Custom Pegs introduces these New custom hand grips. They are machined on a lathe from 6051-T-6 aluminum. They have an aggressive knurl to match the already popular foot pegs. Your hands will not slip! Life time replacement of rubbers–Free! Check Deweyspegs.com, or call (505) 326-5998.

STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS–Where is the spirit of independence, the outspoken voice of young collegestudents, and civil rights advocates who we saw in the 60’s? In thosedays educated young people spoke out against injustice in government, inmass. They didn’t sell out for the dollar and bury their principles. Theystood up for what they believed was right.

As it is today, most young eligible voters choose not to vote. They don’tbelieve their vote counts anymore. They’ve seen government bulldoze it’sway through groups of opposition, as they did in the 60’s and early 70’s,through oppressive legislation targeting young college students, hippies,and the black civil rights movement.

Most liberal minded people have resigned themselves to believe that theconservative vote represents the majority of the population, when in factthe conservatives are the minority of people.

The reason conservative politics have such a firm grip on our country isbecause most conservatives vote! Liberal minded people out numberconservatives 2 to 1. You can turn this country! All you have to do is getoff your apathetic asses and vote. You out number the opposition 2 to 1,take advantage of this fact. Are you sheeple or people? You have the powernow, to turn our government back over to the people through your vote. Useit!

Have you had enough of the drug war?

Do you want to see serious reforms in government, and get rid of the lifelong bureaucrats that have been feeding at the corporate through? Do you want regular people in high offices, or oil billionaires that usegovernment assets to further their empires?Open minded liberal people, stand together, and send a message through theballot box that you’ve had enough.

— Rusty HAMC-BHC
To see more, go to www.RustysForum.com

Chica style Gooseneck Rigid Frame by SanteeThis new rigid frame design features a 38-degree rake, and a 3″ backbone stretch. Engine and transmission mounts are offset 3/4″ to permit the use of 230-250 series tires with a 1-1/2″ wide rear belt. Frame has fully machined axle plates, accepts standard oil tanks, and is supplied without gas tank mounts.

170377Chica style Gooseneck rigid frame. 180 tire.3? backbone. No mounts

170378Chica style Gooseneck rigid frame

Two points we need to make here. First you may be able to buy this new frame through the CSI site on Bikernet (just click above). Secondly, if you’re in the business and would like us to introduce your product to our scooter building audience just cut and paste the description into an e-mail and attach a low res jpg. no larger than 500 pixels wide or tall. If you do it that way, we can rock at the drop of a dime.

That’s the reason we don’t have shots to show you of this frame. We couldn’t download the images.

NEW BUDWEISER BEER CAN HAIR!!!!!!!INVENTED AT THE HORSE SMOKE OUT III 2002.READ ALL ABOUT THIS NEW CRAZE SWEEPING THE NATION. SEE MANY MANY MORE MIND BOGGLING PICS AND THE TANTALIZING FACTS IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE HORSE BACKSTREET CHOPPERS TO HIT THE STANDS OCT. 10.

FIND OUT WHY THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL PICKED THE HORSE SMOKE OUT III TO FILM A WILD CHOPPER DOCUMENTARY TO BE AIRED SEPT. 28 AT 10PM. TURN ON THOSE RECORDERS DUDES, YOU WILL WANT TO SHOW THIS TO THE GRAND CHILLINS’ FOR SURE.

–GENO DIDDY

DIGITAL DISCOVERY ONLY IN BANDIT’S CANTINA–One of the many benefits of supporting Bikernet by joining the Cantina is the Digital Discovery Department. We endeavor to dig deep to find items, techs and strange shit you just won’t find anywhere else.

This chart was published some 25 years ago by Rider. It’s still useful today. Join the Cantina and check it out. Currently membership is only $1.58 a month.

THE OZARK ED REPORT–This was a great weekend. Big boss man had a party for his client list on Friday evening and I had to go. I had gone to Ruthman’s shop about 3 and I was trashed when I left. I went home and got my girl and we were late getting to the party. I hate those kind of things because it’s usually a bunch of suits talking about work or golf.

I noticed a guy I used to work with several years ago and he was now working for a big company and he said he will send me work. Big boss man had bought some door prizes and I told my buddy to pick what he wanted. He picked the dvd player and I rigged the drawing in his favor. He was a happy little geek.

We went on the titty bar tour after the drawing and Tiny was there. Big ugly rich chick was there but nutcase Ned wasn’t. she was on every one in the club with a dick. I told her to get off of me because I had no interest. I was nice but I’ll get ugly if I need to. After the club closed I took my girl to a little neighborhood swimming pool and we climbed the fence and went for a nice little swim. It felt so nice. When we got home about 4, my buddy across the street was just about to leave for his camping trip. I’m going in, he’s coming out.

Me and my girl took stripper Sam out to Tiny’s for dinner Saturday night. We got all fucked up and then went for a ride down to the river. There is a barge in the river that is a restaurant, and they had a horrible band playing outside. We sat on the bank of the river and burned while heckling them. They suck so bad. Ihope they play for free. On the way home I kept hearing tingling sounds when I leaned around left hand curves. I pulled over and found that I had a hole in my tool bag and all my shit was hitting the ground. Pissed me off.

I don’t know what’s going on. It’s supposed to be like a thousand degrees but It’s in the 70’s and 80’s. The nights are cold on the scooter. I’m not bitching, but it looks like rain every day, and you just don’t know what to do. Should I risk the rain and ride or take the rag top? I just go back and forth. I take the bike in the morning and the rag at lunch. I took my girl for a rag top ride last night after it got cold. It was so nice, I hope it lasts.

–Ozark Ed

What A Fuckin’ Genius–The other night I took this picture ofBandit’s foot. I thought to myself how clever he was to use duct tape sincewe didn’t have any medical tape and he had to cover the burn he got fromwelding in order to put on his shoes. It reminded me of a comedian yearsago who use to joke about the things men will fix with duct tape. Well,here’s where you readers come in. I want pictures and stories of how ducttape saved your day, fixed your bike, saved your home or whatever theoccasion may be.

If you have a good story, send it to sinwu@bikernet.comand I’ll send you some Bikernet stickers. You must include your address ifyou want some stickers.

Sin

BIKERNET ON PARENTING–A mother accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed herself a cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asked her mother, “Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?”

The mother replied, “Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on their way home from work.”

The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, “Ah, c’mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud … They’re Hookers!”

A brief period of silence followed, and the daughter then asked, Mommy, do the Hooker ladies have any children?”

The mother replied, “Of course, dear, where do you think New York cab drivers come from?”

–from Princessgypsy

Continued On Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–HEART ATTACKS, HELL, SONNY GOES TO EUROPE AND TATTOO OF THE WEEK

Continued From Page 3

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK ALONE– Without help, the person whose heart stops beating properly and who beginsto feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losingconsciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedlyand very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough.The cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. And a cough must be repeated about every 2 seconds without let up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the bloodcirculating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normalrhythm.

In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

–from Rochester General Hospital

SPEAKING OF DIEING HERE’S THE CHEMISTRY OF HELL ?TThe following is an actual question given on a University of Washingtonchemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so profound that theprofessor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, ofcourse, ?why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or somevariant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So weneed to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they areleaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls areentering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the worldtoday. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member oftheir religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one ofthese ?religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we canproject that all souls go to Hell.With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number ofsouls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of thevolume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for thetemperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1 – If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which soulsenter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until allHell breaks loose.

?2 – Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase ” of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hellfreezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. TeresaBanyan during my Freshman year, that “…it will be a cold day in Hell before Isleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I still have not succeededin having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I amsure ?that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only “A” given.

–from Charles L. DeFanti

SONNY BARGER TOURS EUROPE–Sonny is coming to England, 6 – 10 September, for public appearances and press interviews in London, Bournemouth, and Santa Pod raceway for the European motorcycle drag racing finals. He will be signing copies of Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free, recently published in the UK by Fourth Estate.

The following week in Germany, 13 – 16 September, he will appear in Bremen and Berlin, also visiting the US troops and families in Wiesbaden. He will be signing copies of Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free, published this week in German by Europa Verlag.

Get details of these appearances at the web site:http://sonnybarger.com/meet

There are lots of new photos of Sonny with friends and fans this summer, at Myrtle Beach, Hollister and the Black Hills Rally:http://sonnybarger.com/foto

Sonny’s Hellfire hot sauces, salsa and barbeque sauce are now available, hotter than a Harley manifold after a fast ride:http://sonnybarger.com/store

The new Sonny Barger motorcycle roadside repair kit is a handy accessory no rider should be without, and makes a great gift. The components packed into this compact nylon zippered bag will help get you back on the road:http://sonnybarger.com/store

AND THE WINNER IS—This lucky guy just won a set of K. RandallBall’s books just because he took the time to enter our drawing in theCantina. Prize Possession and Outlaw Justice aren’t even available anylonger. You could be our next lucky winner. If you’re a member of theCantina, enter the contest, If you’re not a member, JOIN NOW!!!

EDWIN DAVIDSON OF NAPLES , FL
Wanted: COPY OF PRIZE POSS. AND OUTLAW JUSTICE. GETTING TIRED OF TRYINGTO READ THEM HERE AT WORK!!!

Congratulations Edwin!

THE ROGUE REPORT–Apparently disappointed and pissed off that they were unable to locate and bust “street racers” in Houston, the city cops offered K-Mart shoppers a texas-sized Blue Light Special and hauled in everybody they could find hanging around a K-Mart parking lot. Thirteen police officials have been suspended with pay in the wake of the arrests of 273 people at a Kmart and a burger stand, allegedly for loitering and trespassing. The police chief implied that officers should have refused the order to arrest people. The head of the police union seems to think the raid on hapless bystanders was justified because there are “no loitering” signs posted in the K-Mart parking lot.

This appears to be a pretty good example of a complete absence of common sense on the part of the cops. Leadership on the scene of the debacle included two Captains, two Lieutenants and a raft of sergeants. It seems to us that a citation was the way to go in this case, but the boys in blue opted to “cuff ’em up” and haul the crowd off to Central Booking. The city is now bracing for an onslaught of well deserved lawsuits, one of which has already been filed for $100 million. So far, no reports on whether or not Homeland Security will be invoked as a defense or if the cops will simply claim this event was “for the kids.”

If you think the arrests in Houston were an isolated bit of police over-kill, wait until you read this. A New Hampshire police chief thinks his department should be permitted to seize a college dorm under the state’s forfeiture law because drugs were found there. He claims the dorm comes under the “Crack House” law. Good grief!

For the entire story see Biker’s Rights on Bikernet.

Here’s another treasure that will be carefully placed in the Digital Discovery Departmet of Bandit’s Cantina. This was shot of a 1930s Excelsior-Henderson new model brochure

STEEL MENTOR REVIEW–Just read “The Steel Mentor” in the Cantina. You hit the mark with that one. Most of the people riding today have know concept of the Old Way’s.?It is great to be making the money the builders, fabricators, and mechanics make nowadays. Shit my old buddies who were my inspiration never made half of what I make today. They did it cuz it was as you say in “their blood”. One in particular Doug “Boo Boo” Reiter left this world in ’78. A true Bro, dearly missed.

It all boils down to ego I guess. The ones who bitch about the guys?making it good now are just jealous about their success. That’s how I see it. You don’t always have to like what’s being done or made today. You can, however, appreciate one’s talent and workmanship.?Sometimes?just the thought process behind a idea for a project is beyond cool.

One thing I have noticed?over the years in building bikes and cars–it’s pretty rare to see something?that hasn’t been done before. When you do see original stuff, you know it immediately!! It leaves you saying “To cool for school”.

Great piece, as always keep it up.

–Paul

TRES COWBOYS–Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie,each with the bravado for which they are famous. A night of tall talesbegins.

The guy from Montana says, “I must be the strongest, meanest, toughestcowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corraland gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns withmy bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth.”

The guy from Wyoming couldn’t stand to be bested. “That’s nothing, I waswalking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out fromunder a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my barehands, bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I amstill here today!”

The Texas cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his cock.

–from Montana Jill

Tattoo Of The Week–This pic is of a beautiful unknown woman, sentto us by Katmandu in Florida. I love the Japanese traditional styletattoos, don’t you? Lately we haven’t been getting any submissions for the Tattoo OfThe Week; maybe everyone thinks we’re not doing it anymore. Well, we wouldif you guys would SEND US SOME PICTURES! Come on people, send your tattooimages to sinwu@bikernet.com and make me look good by giving me something tocontribute. Everyone thinks I just play with Bandit all day and don’t work. That’s particially true but with his appetite, sometimes it’s an all day session!

Sin

DARWIN AWARD WINNER– Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell ofa gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing allpotential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building hadbeen evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.

Uponentering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in thedark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses laterdescribed the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket andretrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation ofthe lighter like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending piecesof it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but thelighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. His peers had neverthought of the technician suspected of causing the blast as ‘bright’.

–from Rogue

BARNES REBOUNDS TO VICTORY AT POCONO BUELL LIGHTNING RACE–Bemisderfer Second, Regain Series Points Lead.Long Pond, PA (August 25, 2002) – Bouncing back from two consecutive DNFs, Michael Barnes rode his Kosco Harley-Davidson/Buell-Innovative Motorcycle Research entry to a decisive victory in the Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories, at Pocono Raceway.

After dominating the Buell Lightning Series early in the season, Barnes fell victim to an accident at Mosport and a thrown chain at Road America. Failing to score points at either event, Barnes slipped back to third place in the points standings behind Clint Brotz of Hal?s Harley-Davidson and Brian Bemisderfer of Harley-Davidson of Frederick. After qualifying was fogged out at Pocono, the three riders found themselves at the front of the starting grid based on season points. Barnes lead from the start and when the race was red-flagged after nine laps on the 2.5-mile course, finished 8.0 seconds ahead of his new stablemate David Estok, with Hal?s rider Richie Morris a distant third place. However, following the race Estok and Morris were each penalized for exceeding the 95-horsepower limit, which bumped Bemisderfer up to second place in the official results. Jason Smith of Smith Brothers Harley-Davidson/Buell was moved up to third place.

?It?s great to get a win and get back on track in the points race,? said Barnes. ?I just put my head down and rode as hard as I could today.?

Brotz finished fourth in the official results and fell from first to second place in the series standings. With two events remaining on the eight-race Buell Lightning Series, Bemisderfer now leads the standings with 100 points to 97 points for Brotz. The win at Pocono leaves Barnes in third place with 88 points, still in contention for the championship.

The Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories, is a horsepower and weight-restricted Buell-only spec class. The seventh round of the Formula USA National Road Race Series will take place at Portland International Raceway, Portland, Ore. Sept. 5-8.

BIKERNET POLICE RELATIONS DEPARTMENT–what not to say. ” I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no othercars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.”

–Rogue

LET’S ESCAPE–The other day I was feeling down about some goddamn thing and the first thing that came to mind was a long ride. Just after I install a set of highbars on that Road King I’m riding out to Tombstone, Arizona to visit the Kennedy’s. Damn I love the desert on a motorcycle. I don’t care what Jose says about Kings.

I know I had something to add about the site, but what the hell. There’s always next week, or the Sunday Post, if you’re a Cantina Member. Goddamnit, it’s happy hour and the girls are waiting. Let’s Ride.

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEW BOOK OF POETRY, CARIBBEAN REPORT AND NEW FRAMES FROM XTREME

Continued From Page 2the book

POETRY FROM THE HEART–Catts my lovely southern Florida connection slipped this small 100 page book in an unmarked envelope and dropped it in a ghetto mailbox. It arrived from the eastern projects to the western ghetto of San Pedro where I discovered it sticking out of the Bikernet P.O. Box as if reaching for recognition.

I flipped through it reading a poem from time to time, cringing on the yuppie attacks and typos. Ed “Ivy” Hill lives in Hobe Sound, Florida where he can ride all year. The Treasure Coast area of Florida’s southeast coast is the venue for many of the poems in his book.

One of my brothers Renegade wrote a lot of poetry in the early days of Easyriders. Maybe I’ve lost my taste, maybe life runs to fast to ponder the meaning of each line. If you’re into poetry about riding check this book out and let me know what you think. “Works of Ivy” will be available through any book store.

Ed “Ivy” Hill

LAST OF THE BIKE SHOW WINNERS–Yep, that’s the deal. We quit the show with free prizes and trophies. Couldn’t afford it, but the area will now house Bikernet Readers’ Putts. Post your ride and the story behind it. If the bike or the tall tale blows our minds, we’ll pump it up to a feature.Ah, but here’s a quote from one of the last winners:Hi, Got my pkg. yesterday. Thanks!!! The trophy is cool, you read my mind, I was going to get around to getting the book. I will be returning the membership card ASAP. Thanks guys(and gals)!!!!!—–

–NICK

BIKERNET’S MOMENT OF SILENCE–A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pitbull on a leash. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file. The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog. ‘I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a badtime to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this with so many ofyou walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?’

The man replied, ‘Well, that first hearse is for my wife.’

‘What happened to her?’

The man replied, ‘My dog attacked and killed her.’

He inquired further, ‘Well, who is in the second hearse?’

The man answered, ‘My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife whenthe dog turned on her.’

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

‘Can I borrow the dog?’

‘Get in line.’

–from Dean

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–I really don’t know what to say after that big ass Sturgis report (andeverything else). I have received a couple e-mails about it already andthey are all positive. By the way, there’s no bullshit there, I even leftsome details out……As you all know, I’ve been working on the web-site while Bandit is playinghide the salami locked up in a room, with not one, but three girls !!!!!!

It really sucks….we are busting our asses and he is playing around….Ohwell……

I did not manage to get my photos on time, so I’m figuring out that somewill be posted here…. Or later added to the story….

I don’t know if it’s us but things seem to be kinda slow lately. I hear ofshops closing down, people running out of money and selling, you know,weird shit….We have lots of work but seems like the money it’s not comingin…. maybe it’s the weather or that I just got older….. Anyway, the website is working, the TV show is coming up and there’s bikes to bebuilt….Plus we got the cover of The Horse Magazine for this issue (# 27) which I beleive it’s our first cover….out of 12 magazine articles since1998 (this is data I am gathering for the web site, not a pompous attemptto praise ourselves). And our articles here have been all positive, noteven one person has bitched about it (which is also weird) So….once morethe pro’s beat the con’s.

And now to the news……Check this out, I just got in from the 2003 Harley models presentation atour local dealer, it was packed! We saw all these bikes already but it’sa good time to hear all the bullshit stories and the “posers” drooling onthe latest 100 anniversary underwear.Like every event like that there will always be bullshit, envy, purists,and antichrists…..besides just regular people that just go there to seethe new bikes….

The new Deuce was there (pardon the company for using a trademarked name)and the 100th Road King, sure friends teased me that I was there to buy oneof those bikes….Sure, when I get to be seventy and wear Depends, so I canstash them in the saddlebags….. Before we (readers) start bitching aboutme bashing a Road Kill…… It’s a joke, I guess by the time I can’t rideChoppers no more, I’ll buy a Town Car and be really comfy…. Again it’ssomething that only he who rides a chopper can understand…..

Thanks a lot, pal. –Bandit

All in all it was a good time, we saw friends and got to say hi…Suresomeone remarked that I was paying (bribes) several magazines and web sitesto feature my stuff, but there will always be retards, no matter where yougo, and for the record I earn my stuff. I don’t believe in vanity exposure.Congratulations to Motor Sport on a well done party….Too bad they didnot install anti-weasels sensors on the doors….

September 28th at 10:00 p.m. ET, is the date for the Biker Build Off, atthe Discovery Channel, featuring Billy Lane and Roger Bourget. Also Sept.29th (Sunday) there will be two shows, American Chopper and WomenBikers…starting at 9:00 pm.It’s great to see more and more bike related stuff on TV…..I see a lotmore stuff coming up….It’s good for TV.

We heard that Frank Kaisler is working with Bikernet.com as well as TheHorse. We can’t wait to read his features. I know he edited Hot Rod Bikes,one of the best , and most informative, magazines. If you are reading thisFrank, let me say that since you left the magazine it sucks ! Maybe JeffDeasey will be able to save it.

Anyway, gotta go and do some stuff for The Horse……and work on thebikes, and check the web-site and blah, blah,blah…..I guess you get the idea…..

–Jose, chopperfreak.com
Caribbean (bribes galore) Bikernet, exposure loving, agent.

PS: Sin I miss you, we had a great time when Bandit was gone….one bigkiss for you…and Thanks once more…..

KID’S EARS…. For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10 speed bicycle.

His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.

The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, “Son, where are you going?”

Little Patrick told him, “I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage, and no transportation.”

–from Deb at Pro Paint in Baltimore

TWO NEW SITES TO SCOPE OUT–www.siebenthalercreative.com.One page for starters but includes portfolio PDF.

www.twistgear.net.New home of Johnson Engineering. Rudimentary, but it’s a vertical learningcurve.

–JS

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE/VANCE&HINES NHRA PRO STOCK TEAM CLOSING GAP–Team Posts its Best E.T. of Season at Indy.Indianapolis, Ind. (Sept. 2, 2002) – The Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines Pro Stock Bike drag racing team posted its best results of the season at the National Hot Rod Association Mac Tools U.S. Nationals held at Indianapolis Raceway Park over Labor Day weekend. During Saturday?s qualifying session, Screamin? Eagle rider Gary Tonglet, Jr. made a 7.457-second pass at 176 mph, the quickest quarter-mile elapsed time (E.T.) recorded by the team during its inaugural season on the very competitive NHRA Pro Stock circuit.

?The results from Indy reflect the dramatic progress the Screamn? Eagle/Vance & Hines team has made in powertrain development since the beginning of the season,? said Mike Kennedy, Director of Marketing, Harley-Davidson Parts and Accessories. ?We will continue that development and anticipate that the Screamn? Eagle/Vance & Hines team will realize further gains in horsepower in the coming months.?

In the Friday session at Indy, the Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines team ran an E.T. of 7.490 seconds. Saturday morning?s run produced the 7.457-second E.T., the quickest time ever clocked by a Motor Company Pro Stock team. The team ended the Saturday afternoon session with an 8.011-second E.T., as mechanical problems forced Tonglet to shut off midway through his run. After a long evening of switching motors and tuning the bike for the Sunday qualifying runs, the team posted an encouraging 7.544-second E.T. in the morning session under hot, humid conditions, and a 7.496-second E.T. in the afternoon session. The Screamin? Eagle team missed the 7.363-second bump time for Monday?s final round of eliminations less than a tenth of a second, the closest it has been to making the finals this season.??

XTREME PRODUCT LINE-UPBelow is a list of all the products we are selling. Attached is a pictureof our new single down tube frame.

Travis
714-628-1855

STANDARD SOFTAIL FRAME 240 KITS INCLUDE:
Swing Arm, Pivot Shaft Kit, Axle Kit, Oil Bag w/mounts, Internal Wiring,Primary Spacer, Hour Glass Neck

XST-240K Xtreme Softail Frame Kit with 1″ axle & flush covers

STANDARD SOFTAIL FRAME 180 KITS INCLUDE:Swing Arm, Pivot Shaft Kit, Axle Kit, Aluminum Struts, Oil Bag w/mounts,Internal Wiring, S/S Splash Guard, Hour Glass Neck

XST-180K Xtreme Softail Frame Kit

STANDARD HARDTAIL FRAME KIT INCLUDES:
Axle Kit, Aluminum Struts, Internal Wiring, Hour Glass Neck
XHT-240 Xtreme Hardtail Frame Kit with 1″ axle & flush covers
XHT-180 Xtreme Hardtail Frame Kit

FRAME OPTIONS: (add to the above price)
X-RSD-240 Xtreme Hardtail / Softail 240 Frame Right Side Drive
XST-SDT-180/240 Xtreme Softail Frame Single Down Tube 180 or 240
XHT-SDT-180/240 Xtreme Hardtail Frame Single Down Tube 180 or 240

XTREME ACCESSORIES:
X-STF Xtreme strutless 11″ softail rear fender
X-HTF Xtreme blank 11″ hardtail rear fender
X-CT Xtreme Chopper Tank with flush cap
X-ST Xtreme Sportster Tank with flush cap
X-FE Xtreme Wide Glide Front End (6 degree rake) Polished
XHT-OB Xtreme Hardtail Oil Bags
XST-OB Xtreme Softail Oil Bags
X-FBW Xtreme 8-Spoke Billet Wheel 21 X 2.150 (Polished)
X-RBW Xtreme 8-Spoke Billet Wheel 18 X 8.5 (Polished)
X-SFR Xtreme 111/2″ 8 spoke front rotor (Polished)
X-SRR Xtreme 111/2″ 8 spoke rear rotor (Polished)
X-SP Xtreme 65 tooth 8 spoke Pulley (Polished)
X-FW6 Xtreme Wire Wheel 21 X 2.150 – 60 spokes
X-RW6 Xtreme Wire Wheel 18 X 8.5 – 60 spokes
X-WFR Xtreme 111/2″ front rotor to match wire wheel (Chrome)
X-WRR Xtreme 111/2″ rear rotor to match wire wheel (Chrome)
X-WP Xtreme 65 tooth Pulley to match wire wheel (chrome)
X-MT21 Metzler Tire 21 X 80 X 90
X-MT18 Metzler Tire 18 X 240 X 40
X-LHX-LV Xtreme vertical & horizontal sidemounts with LED running, tail, licplate & brake lights. (Chromed)
X-HMG Hot-Match Flush mount pop-up gas cap
X-HMK Hot-Match Kickstand kit
X-HMP Hot-Match custom pipes
X-AR The Air-RideT system (Chromed)
X-PS EMS Performance Shocks (Chromed)
X-FV EMS Fuel Valve (Chromed)
X-HL Lazer Star Headlight

–for more info contact: info@xtremecycledesign.com

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–V-TWIN DEALER SHOW, NEW CCI SWINGARM SET, AND NOTORIOUS IGNITION INTERLOCK LAW

Continued From Page 3

BEACH RIDE LIVES–I stumbled into a Beach Ride meeting last night for the 10-year-old Southern California charity event. It was canceled last year by the Ventura, California authorities because of the club battle 600 miles away. The Beach Ride will live again next July and retain the name, although it looks like the next event will take place in Frazier Park only a few miles from Bakersfield.

We voted on the name last night and concluded wisely, I hope, to retain the “Beach Ride” name. Even if we have to drag palm trees and sand to the edge of the Fishing pond on the pine tree surrounded property in Frazier Park, it’ll be the beach ride.

It was also tentatively decided last night to raffle a bike for the charity that benefits from the ride, the Exceptional Children’s Foundation in Los Angeles. I’ll keep you posted.

HER BEST FEATURE–A young man moved into his new apartment in the city. On his wayto the mailboxes in the lobby, an attractive young lady came outof the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversationwith him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it wasobvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm andsaid, “Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.”

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leanedagainst it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, “What would you say is my bestfeature?”Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, “It’s got to beyour ears!”

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at thesebreasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! Mybutt is firm and solid! Look at my skin – no blemishes anywhere!How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?”

Clearing his throat, he stammered, “Outside, when you said youheard someone coming? That was me.”

–from Ray R.

2003 CLASSIC TRIUMPH CALENDARS–The 2003 Classic Triumph Calendar is now available for retail and wholesaledistribution. Baxter Cycle, Inc. has produced the calendar in conjunctionwith Wolfgang Publications, a well-known publisher of motorcycle titles.

The calendar offers a twelve-month supply of various Triumph models.Each month features a brilliant color photograph of a different classicTriumph model, plus close-up photos highlighting interesting details on eachbike. Brief text offers insight into a bit of the history of thesefascinating machines.

Baxter Cycle is a motorcycle dealer with an emphasis on classic Britishmotorcycles. Twenty-five years of experience in buying and selling classicTriumphs, Nortons, BSA’s and other vintage European motorcycles has turnedthis thriving, small-town shop into a worldwide business.

Calendars are available for $15.95 plus $4.50 S&H from Baxter Cycle, Inc.Wholesale discounts offered on quantity orders. To order, call712-781-2395, FAX 712-781-2355. or email bikes @baxtercycle.com. Find themon the web at www.baxtercycle.com.

CONTACT RANDY BAXTER 712-781-2395

BAXTER CYCLE
400 LINCOLN ST. BOX 85
MARNE, IA 51552
712-781-2351712-781-2355 FAX
bikes@baxtercycle.com

DRINKING BIKERS BEWARE–A Bill has been introduced by New York Assembly members which mandates the installation of ignition interlock devices by 2005 on all new and second hand motor ve3hicles sold within the state. Further, all motor vehicles in New York should be equipped with such devices by 2006.

Ignition interlocking devices connect to the ignition system and preventa vehicle from being started without first determining the operator’s breath alcohol level.

–from The American Motorcycle Dealer News

HOT AIR BALLOON PILOT LOST– A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is, technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

–from Chris T.

V-TWIN EXPO BACK IN CINNCINATI–For years the dealers who attended the Indy show complained that they had to wander through hordes of jet ski and dirt bike booths to see the Harley guys. Well Jim Betlach and his crew kicked off the V-Twin Expo in Cinncinati to create a dealer show just for the Harley aftermarket.

If you’re a dealer don’t miss it in February.

INDIAN PARTS CONNECTION–This is probably the longest enduring Indian connection in the country. Starklite Cycle (starklite.com) in Riverside, California is now in their 60th year. “My father was the indian dealer in Akron, Ohio from 1918 to 1952,” said Bob Stark, the current owner. He started working in the dealership in 1944, and purchase his first Indian in 1949. In 1955 he obtained his degree in mechanical engineering. Now his son, Gary Stark, is the parts manager.

Starklite Cycle is responsible for manufacturing and distributing thousand of parts to keep old indians alive. Their parts book also contains dynamic tech tips to keep those puppies afloat. Drop them a line and order a catalog.

THE PICKLE SLICER– There once was this man, who worked in a pickle factory, who had this very great and powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

This went on for years, and he couldn’t stand it, so he decided to seek professional help for this odd infatuation of his.

They up and tell the man that since his desire is so powerful to put his penis in the pickle slicer, the only way to get over it was to do it. The man gladly agrees and says he will do it the next day at work …

The next day he comes home from work about 11 AM. His wife is very worried and asks what happened. He explains to her, for the first time, the desire he has had to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

And then explains that he couldn’t take it any more and today he did it. She gasps and runs over to him, yanks down his pants and briefs, only to see his member perfectly normal and intact.

She looks back up and says I don’t understand … what happened to the pickle slicer?

“I think she got fired too.”

–from Miss Kris

RevTech(r) Chrome Single-Sided Swingarm Kit
Made from chrome-plated 6061-T6 aircraft-grade billet aluminum
Includes the swingarm assembly, RevTech(r) 4-piston caliper, brakerotor, brake bracket,polished splash guard, and domed hub caps.
Ride height is adjustable from 1″ under stock height to 1″ over (patentpending)
Innovative design maintains perfect alignment of the wheel and the belt
Works only with 18″ x 4″ RevTech(r) billet wheels (not included) withup to a 150-series tire
Quick installation utilizes the stock shocks, drive belt, fender andstruts

28348 –Fits Softail(r) models from 1986 thru 1999 –$2,999.00
600101 –Replacement stainless steel brake rotor –$94.99

Note: Does not work with solid pulleys and requires custom brake lines(not included).Chrome 18″ x 4″ RevTech(r) Rear Wheels

Only these wheels should be used with this kit.
64237Scorpion$999.99
64239Stiletto$999.99
642413-Spoke Swept –$999.99
64897RevPro(tm) Solid –$849.00
64532T-3 –$1,099.00
64412Grinder –$1,099.00
64452Wings –$1,099.00
64632Pulsar –$1,099.00
64232Spider –$1,099.00
64233Spike –$1,099.00
64234Meridian –$1,099.00
64235Airfoil 3 –$1,099.00
64236DF5 –$1,099.00
64814Inferno(r) –$1,099.00
63852Creep –$1,179.00
63881Style 53 –$1,179.00
63910Sabbath –$1,179.00
63939West Side –$1,179.00
63997Penta –$1,179.00
63617Doom –$1,600.00
63823The Wheel –$1,074.00

Chrome RevTech(r) Rear Belt Pulleys
65-Tooth –70-Tooth
4714447142Scorpion –$544.99
4713847136Stiletto –$544.99
47156471483-Spoke Swept –$544.99
4813948140RevPro(tm) Solid –$499.99
4811248113T-3 –$499.99
4810048101Grinder –$499.99
4810648107Wings –$499.99
4812048121Pulsar –$499.99
4723547238Spider –$539.99
4724547246Spike –$539.99
4729847299Meridian –$539.99
4723947240Airfoil 3 –$539.99
4722647225DF5 –$544.99
4723247231Inferno(r) –$544.99
4816348164Creep –$546.99
4816848169Style 53 –$546.99
4817348174Sabbath –$546.99
4817848179West Side –$546.99
4818848189Penta –$546.99
4818348184Doom –$546.99
4815848159The Wheel –$524.99

BIKES-DIRECT.com – USD $620 FOR SALE– Please note that after years, the registration on the domain nameBIKES-DIRECT.com was not renewed and this domain became available toregister.

Consequently, we have been approached to market this domain name that hasbeen tracked and registered by a client. As a result, BIKES-DIRECT.com isnow available from us for IMMEDIATE transfer.

With so many companies using these initials along with what many wouldconsider to be a genuine investment, we expect to find an interested partyfor this excellent .com.

Please note that transfers take just 15 minutes and are extremelystraightforward – absolutely NO technical knowledge is required!

If you would like to use WWW.BIKES-DIRECT.com for your online business,please contact us at your earliest convenience – we will be on hand shouldyou require any further assistance or information.

Lara
Marketing
Ioffers.com

E m p t y N e s t r o g e n–Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.?????

THAT’S IT–I’m outta here. A woman now wants to shoot a documentary as Mike Lichter and I finish our “Badlands” book project. We’ll be riding north to Oregon, then East to Phoenix, Denver, Kansas City and south to New Orleans. You may see chapters of the book in the Cantina and in American Rider. Hang on as we move forward. I’m embarrassed to say that the documentary may be aired on the Discovery Channel.

Have a helluva weekend.

–Bandit??????

STAFF STRUGGLES, WEIRD SEX LAWS, AND HAPPY HOUR…

Continued From Page 2

FIVE CANNIBALS– Five cannibals get hired at the local manufacturing plant. During thewelcoming orientation, the HR Manager says, “You’re all part of ourteam now. You can earn good money here. You will have good benefits, andyoucan go to the vending machines for something to eat, so please don’t botherany of the other employees.” The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later the HR Manager calls them in to the office and says,”You’re all working very hard, and we’re very satisfied with all of you.However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know whathappened to him?” The cannibals all shake their heads no.

After the HR Manager has left, the leader of the cannibals says totheothers, “Which one of you idiots ate the janitor?” A hand raiseshesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replies, “You fool!!

Forfour weeks, we’ve been eating Managers and Administrators and no one noticedanything, and YOU had to go and eat the janitor!”

H-D 45 cu. in. Three Wheeler, picture taken about 1970. That’s all we know.

–Bob T.

THE DOUR DAILY–Al-Qaeda is once again calling for the destruction of America. I got news for them: They can’t ruin the American way of life only Wall Street can do that!

Speaking of stocks, mine split today. You know what that means, a stock split? It means my stocks just split! They are gone!

Stocks are bad, corporations are corrupt and people are losing jobs. Do you think God might be a little upset about that pledge thing? Hey, you’re all on your own now!

On the front of USA Today they had a color graph of the states with the highest reported cases of sunburn. You know which state had the highest rate? Wisconsin. Now, I don’t know if they get more sunburns in Wisconsin, but apparently they have nothing better to do than sit around and report they have sunburns!

The United States has a new weapon. It destroys people but leaves buildings still standing it’s called the stock market!

Do you know the difference between Las Vegas and Wall Street? In Vegas after you lose your money you still get free drinks.

Congress voted the other day 97 to 0 for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

The Republicans might go to Florida for the convention in the 2004 election. Returning to the scene of the crime.

–from Nuttboy

SMOKING TIP–Do you live in America and do you smoke ?if you do, visit www.otdirect.bizhosting.comif you do not, please disregard this message.

–James Beattie

MISSING FATBOBS– These are the Tanks I sold about 15 years ago. I had them on my bike years ago. A friend painted them.I walked in a bike shop up here and they were in a display case.

I said “Those are my Fucking tanks” and everyone took a stepbackwards, they thought they were stolen and I was there to kick some ass.

But I told them the story.?I traded some saddle bags for them to get them back.

–BT

NEWS FROM WHITEHORSE PRESS–What’s been hot this summer you ask? Everything, everyday! But, for summerriding, it’s what’s hot that’s cool that counts. And that’s the AirhawkSeat Cushion with the revolutionary Dry Flotation technology that eliminatespainful pressure points and promotes consistent blood flow for a longer,cooler, more comfortable ride.http://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.asp?cn=50245&en=en0208&id=cvra

No more numbness you ask? No more aching butt muscles? That’s right. Thecushion’s adjustable air inflation and multiple cells provide a custom fitto your personal contour, making the last mile feel like the first. Smallinterconnected air cells move pressure away from “hot spots” and work asmini shock absorbers, reducing vibration. An open mesh side panel allowsair to circulate, creating extra ventilation to reduce heat build-up andprevent “hot seat.”

Popular motojournalist David Hough discovered the pleasure of an Airhawk onhis last cross-country trip, 4,000 miles into a 6,400 miler: “I was inserious butt pain, and in drastic need of something to ease it. The oldsheepskin wasn’t working any more. So, in desperation, I plotted a newcourse to an outlet I knew that carried Airhawks, and slapped one on mysaddle. The relief was immediate, and allowed me to knock off the 2,400miles home in relative comfort, without having to stand on the pegs forthree days.”

2003 FASTDATES.COM CALENDARS SELLING FAST– The new 2003 calendars are now in stock at your favorite distributors,worldwide, and they should be at your local dealer as well. Featuredagain, as always, are the world’s fastestroadracers, motocrossers, and premier custom bike builders, their bikes,and the most beautiful pinup models in the world. This year’s beautifulcalendar models include Playboy cover models The Bentley Twins, Amandaand Sandy, Penthouse Pet of the Year Zdenka, and Miss Great BritainNicky Lane. Both Zdenka and Nicky were our official SBK FastDates.comCalendar girls at Laguna Seca World Superbike.

Remember, as each year, the 2003 Calendars are full 16 month calendarsbeginning with September 2002 and we usually sell out by November. Soask for them now at your favorite dealer, and visit us on line forcomplete distributor contact and ordering information. Don’t delay as wewill sell out early, and the FastDates.com calendars are valuablecollector’s keepsakes featuring the world’s top bikes racers andcelebrity models.http://www.FastDates.com

2002 LA Calendar Bike Show a hugh sellout success!Our July 21-22nd Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show weekend hasanother huge success this year with over 140 Exhibitors and a selloutcrowd. Next year we will be expanding the Show into downtown Long Beach(just like the Long Beach Grand Prix) to accommodate more manufacturers,spectators, a huge Vintage Bike Show and newly added racing activitiesat the premier streetbike show in America. Complete coverage and photosof this year’s Show is online at:http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow2002/BIKESHOW2002.HTM

BANDIT VS. JON TOWLE–Bandit vs. John TowleWhy is Jon sticking up for Bandit’s poor humor? Well, Enclosed is a pic of Bandit resolving a disagreement with Jon in Long Beach Harbor. Bandit is Taking jon out for a little fishing trip.

Two tours in country gave Bandit the opportunity to get flying lessons. According to Jon, the next time Bandit says ANYTHING he doesn’t like,,, “Just agree with the old salt. Bandit is NEVER WRONG!”

–Thomas Brown

EXERCISE FOR SENIORS–Physical exercise is good for you. I know that I should do it daily, but my body doesn’t want me to do too much, so I have worked out this program:

Beating around the bushes.
Jumping to conclusions.
Climbing the walls.
Pushing my luck.
Making mountains out of molehills.
Bending over backwards.
Jumping on bandwagons.
Balancing books.
Running around in circles.
Opening cans of worms.
Going over edges.
Picking up pieces.

Whew!What a workout!You are invited to use my program without charge!

–from Dr. Terry

CANTINA TESTIMONIAL AND ROAD GLIDE ADVICE–Been checking out your site since you started but was a little leary of tha Cantina after joining the Easyriders Roadhouse thing a long time ago. Lasted a month but they kept billing me anyway. You’ve been up for a while and it’s a lot cheaper, so I guess I will have to give up a piece of rasin pie for the month.

ANYWAY, I have a 2000 SE Road Glide and can attest to the afffect that tire pressure is a big issue as well as the type of tire you are running. The Dunlops keeps her stable like a caddy, but if you go with Avon Venom X’s it starts thinking it’s a freakin crotch rocket in the corners. I would start with the tire pressure, and even the air in the shocks seem to make some difference especially on the not-so-smooth roads we have in the flatlands with the grooves for truck tires. My $.02

–Randy

WEIRD SEX LAWS–If a police officer in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sexinside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutesbefore being allowed to approach the scene.

Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to anIllinois state law.

A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing orhunting on your wedding day.

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on citystreets.

In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sexwithout a permit.

Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two peoplehaving sex in a car.

In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driverinside a toll booth.

Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish theirrooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between thebeds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between thebeds.

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on thecity’s airport property.

A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a manwhile riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman’sname will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive anypunishment.

No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.

In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virginunder any circumstances. (including the wedding night)

The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is themissionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachuteon Sunday afternoons.

In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer whilelying in bed with his wife.

A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make loveto his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.

In Bozeman, Montana, you can’t perform any sexual acts in the front yard ofany home, after sundown, if you are nude.

A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon tableunless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.

Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean,white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple mayhave sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.

Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the hornduring their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a LibertyCorner, New Jersey law.

During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in asexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.

In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his femalepartner is having a sexual orgasm.

ORWELL AIN’T BAD–Hey Bandit!I’ve read your book during my holiday, I loved it!Great Mad max kinda story, great.

–Good luck, Tjebbe

BIKERNET ON CORPORATE MANAGEMENT–A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race.Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance beforethe race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the Americanteam became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American managementdecided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A “ManagementTeam” made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommendwhat appropriate action should be taken. Their conclusion was the Japanesehad 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8persons steering and one person rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them anincredible amount of money. They advised that too many people were steeringthe boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to theJapanese again next year, the rowing team’s management structure was totallyreorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a newperformance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greaterincentive to work harder. It was called the “Rowing Team Quality FirstProgram,” with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. “We must givethe rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality program.”.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the Americanmanagement laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of anew canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for newequipment.

Then they distributed the money they saved as bonuses to the seniorexecutives.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK–“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Huh?” – Conan O’Brien

BIKERNET ADVICE ON DEALING WITH POLICE–Don’t say the following: You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

AND THE DARWIN AWARD GOES TO– A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway nearMarseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger andkilling herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not havequalified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that thedriver’s attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which hadstarted urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempt to pressthe correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi’s life, the woman lost her own.

HAPPY HOUR–It must be happy hour somewhere? Above is a restored Indian Chief with factory side car. Another bike Don has available. For more information contact the man at Don Whalen drw2453@earthlink.net.

Very shortly we will begin a series of articles on modifications to a Road King. A portion of this series will also find its way to American Rider Magazine. The articles are designed to assist even the most novice rider with advice and knowledge of how their dealer will do the job if they can’t. We’re going to make this puppy sing.

Have a helluva weekend. –Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CHARITIES HIT POCKETBOOKS HARD, NEW V-8 RIGIDS

Continued From Page 1

DONATE YOUR JEANS– Normally I wouldn’t send something like this to you. But, it’s nottoo much trouble, and we all generally like to help others as long asthe requests aren’t too demanding…. So, I thought I would tell youabout this charity.

It is similar to sponsoring a malnourished child from anothercountry. However, this charity deals with something that is as important as a good meal–Clothing.

For pennies a day, you can help sponsor a child like the one in the attached photo. Rather than throwing out your old jeans, donatethem so that they may be used to help someone the same way they helped the little girl in the picture.

It is important tohelp those less fortunate than us. This could be the first step to a better world for everyone

–from Buckshot

LABOR DAY WEEKEND– BluesAid at Gibson Guitar Showcase Rooftop. The “not to miss” main event of the Labor Day Weekend in Downtown Memphiswill be the Sonny Boy Blues Society benefit concert to benefit BluesAid inconjunction with the Gibson Guitar Showcase on the Gibson Rooftop, Sunday September 1st at 7pm.Featured artist will be James “Superharp” Cotton, Anson Funderburg with “Sweet” SamMyers, and the Kenny Brown Band all on the Gibson Rooftop over looking Beale Street.Tickets are on sale NOW in the Gibson Retail Store for $25 or you can order tickets bycalling 901-544-7998 ext.4075.

BluesAid was created by The Sonny Boy Blues Society to help our agingpopulation of blues artist cope with healthcare costs and memorial expenses. As youwell know, many of the most influential blues men and women have not fared wellfinancially and are without any health care insurance and no savings in case of illness, either acuteor chronic. The BluesAid project is an extension of the Sonny Boy Blues Society?s localefforts to help these aging artists obtain the proper medical help and medications that they mayhave otherwise gone without.

As stated, BluesAid will raise money for a nationwide clearinghouse forfinancial aid for medical, pharmaceutical, and memorial expenses. At the same time,BluesAid will allow musicians and fans to pay respect to many of the influences that shape andmolded many of today?s successful artists not only in the blues world, but also inrock, pop, and country.

Don’t miss this star event Sunday September 1st at 7:00 at the The BealeStreet Showcase, 145 Lt. George Lee Avenue, Memphis Tennessee. For more information go to www.gibsonmemphis.com/index.html.

Indian bobber available through Sierra Madre Motorcycles. For info contact:Don Whalen drw2453@earthlink.net.

A PLEA FOR HELP!–Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity.

We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome what may be our greatest challenge yet

Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren’t bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. But, you can help! ?

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that’s less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it’s a start, and every little bit will help.

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month’s rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexis for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below: ?

[ ] Infielder [ ] Outfielder [ ] Starting Pitcher [ ] Ace Pitcher ?

[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team ! ($10 per minute) ?

[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day) Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-PORK-THE-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute). ?

–from The Right-Reverend Kevin J. Ruic
World Renown Flying Bishop & Saint

OZARK ED REPORTING IN–I was going to work on my Shovelhead last night but Tiny came over and we drank a bunch of beer and went riding. I’ll never make it to Daytona. I’m not going on the Evo. I would rather stay home a work on the Shovel as to go on another run with the Evo. I’m a lazy son of a bitch.

AN INDICATION OF THE VALUE OF BEER–Yo was going thru some of my pictures & found this one?. Think I took it at the love ride .. a few years ago?. Take care & take the redball out for one last blast for me?.. I am going to miss that bike?..I just feel honored to have ridden it. In reality it has ruined me, as now I want a long bike that rides that well?

See ya next week.

–Richard K.

OLD JOKE, NEW TATTOO– Teddy Bear the Pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”

“What do you mean? I’m fine.”

“What about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”

“Well,” said Teddy Bear the Pirate, “we were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg, but the Doc fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.”

“Oh yeah? Well, what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands.”

“Well, we were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really.”

“Oh,” said the bartender, “what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes.”

“One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye.”

“You’re kidding,” said the bartender, “You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird poop!”

“Nah, it was my first day with the hook.”

–TBear

NEW FLATHEAD MOTORCYCLES– By Honest Charley. It’s a legacy like no other. The unmistakable rumble of a vintage V8 Ford Flathead powered motorcycle. We’ll have shots of it shortly or go to their website: Honestcharley.com.

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EASYRIDERS UNDER POLICE SCRUTINY

I spent a day with Don Whalen and some of the finest restored antique bikes in the country. What a treat. Here’s some examples of bikes he has available. I’ll have more next week. If you have any interest in any of these bikes, contact Don at: drw2453@earthlink.net. Let’s get to the news:

Original unrestored bikes are now drawing higher prices than restored scoots.

EASYRIDERS BEING GOUGED IN OHIO– It appears that the Sheriff at the Easyriders Labor Day Event in Ohio hasgotten on the Band Waggon with others around the country to gouge money outof bikers.

It is a fact that more and more people in Law Enforcement are gettinginvolved in motorcycling. They have come up with a way to be paid to attendevents rather than paying to attend.This is not new and we have been tellingpeople about it for years.This in many cases is tax payer money being usedbesides what they can shake down promoters for.Hey if they want to attendlet them pay like every one else.

Looking at the events that I attend around the country I see more securityall the time. It appears alot more than seems necessary. I mentioned itabout Laconia and even the Harley 100th in Atlanta. I continue to hear it isabout some violance that happened between clubs.

Well if you look at the number of events around the country that happenevery day and the amount that there is trouble at it does not add up. Every Raider game has violence attached.

Thereare events that provide their own security and do not allow law enforcementon the premises. Of course they can attend if they pay to get in and are notin uniform. Again they say they are working undercover and we are stillpaying for them to party. Shit percentage wise there is more trouble withparents at Little League games,patrons of other sporting events and sucharound the country than at the biker events.

Of course law enforcement is going to say that is because they are there inforce to protect the spectators. I SAY BULL SHIT! I say just admit that you are there to have a good time like the rest of usand are getting paid to do it and it is a Perk Of The Job.

–ROGUE

Here’s the Latest Issue of Martha Stuart Living.

–from Ray R.

CONTROVERSIAL POLICE DATABASE LISTS “FUTURE CRIMINALS”–WILMINGTON, Del. — Defense lawyers and the American Civil LibertiesUnion are up in arms over a police file of potential criminals inDelaware.

The database contains a list of people who police believe are likelyto break the law. It features names, addresses and photographs ofpotential suspects — many of whom have clean slates.

Since the system was introduced in Wilmington in June, most of the200 people included in the file have been minorities from poor,high-crime neighborhoods.

State and federal prosecutors say the tactic is legal. The photos arebeing taken by two Wilmington police squads created to arrest drugdealers.

Many of the people whose photos have been taken were stopped brieflyfor loitering and let go.

–from Rogue

GRANNY JUSTICE– MELBOURNE, Australia — Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was soticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old> granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down — and shotoff their testicles.

The old lady spent a week hunting those men down, and when she foundthem, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp.

Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on thesergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be: ‘Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.’ Cops sayconvicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mmpistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, butdoctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor Italked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to, Detective Delp told reporters. Both men are still in pretty bad shape,but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.

–from Dick

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Another week goes by, it seems like it was just yesterday when we wereriding Needles Highway, oh well…September is a couple days away, the end of Summer, one more year for me,and just one month to Biketoberfest, time does really fly. Some of the goodnews is that we have our web site running, at last, just very limitedinformation right now, but at least is running, we will be working on itand hope to have it almost ready for the end of next month. If you want tocheck it out it’s ChopperFreak.com.As always it will be a support effort between Bikernet, The Horse magazine,their web site and us. So no, I’m not leaving here to go do my own stuff,it’s going to be another tool to help our customers out and to easier reachpeople that are intrigued by the Caribbean Chopper scene, we will have allour shirts and stuff there, plus some cool photos of friends and bikes, wemust have cool photos……I guess it’s just another step on our progress,and while wearing my new hat (webmaster) will try to do a decent job, onceI learn how the hell to work it out !

Kudos to Bikernet since it’s apretty hard task keeping up with a site.For those who are waiting on the trip story, I’m pretty sure it’s on theway, also thanks to all who have called or e-mailed from the interview ,here on Bikernet.Ok, enough, lets hit the news…..

If anyone reads Maxime magazine, which I doubt, check the Sept issue, theyhave an article on the “stuff” that happened at Laughlin this year (wich ismostly bull) but fun to read anyway, besides you can check out Lucy Liuwho is a babe……

Discovery is planning on airing the show ( Roger’s and Billy’s) Sept 28that 10:00 pm eastern and again at 2:00 am, also the 23rd of Dec, check yourlocal listings and get those VCR’s ready to rock….

Here’s a photo of my ride to North Carolina and my dad checking itout……

We heard that Jeff Deasey is working with Hot Rod Bikes now, instead of HotBikes, we hope it’s for the best…..

One of our new Caribbean choppers is on the works (actually two) willreport as progress takes place, we are working on a deal with a framemanufacturer right now, so let’s see what happens, One thing I’m sure theywon’t be bikes for everyone, no rear belts, no starter, no shocks…. Ofcourse no EFi and no Twin Cams…..if things go well , maybe we will buildfive or so for next year, tops….Want one??? Call us…

Our super industry network has informed that there will be changes on theCamel Roadhouse builders…..like always, as soon as I can release the infoyou will know it here first….

Here’s another photo, this are our friends from Kopteri in Finland, Kokkoand Pete hanging out with Yoly at our house’s hot spot…The dungeon.

I don’t know what’s up with motorcycles and Puerto Rico, but in the lastfew months they have opened (or included in their dealerships) Triumph,Vespa, Indian, BMW and god knows what else… Let’s see what happens. Iknow that Vespa is doing good, Triumph and BMW might fly, butIndian….come on is it a joke ?

Also for those that are looking for a good priced chopper, we featured theBourget’s EXP model last year wich has sold very well, now to make it evenbetter BBW has changed the motor to a 96 S&S instead of the H-D Evomotor…for the same price…( under 26 K).And speaking of Bourget’s they just came out with a very cool calendar/brochure, call your dealer or Bourget’s to score one.

I’m outta here since we have to work on the web-site and upload some nakedchicks photos…….

–Have a good week….Jose

The Sturgis report will be completed tomorrow afternoon.

Continued On Page 2

AIM REPORT FROM GUNNY–OREGON CONFISCATION LAW SHATTERED, COP GIVES 90 LOUD PIPES TICKETS IN 30 DAYS AND MORE…

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE, or visitus on the web at .

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

Recognition: I’m blessed to associate with many motorcycle people, but some really standout in my mind. Right up on the top of the list is Butch Harbaugh, who lives here inOregon, and is also Chairman of the NCOM Legislative Task Force (LTF), and true friend.Longview Tom of the Gypsy Jokers M C, and Chairman of the Oregon Confederation of Clubshas been an inspiration to me, when he took over the job from another great one, Showman,from Brother Speed M.C. And people like Rotten Roger Hendricks, our Oregon ABATE runcoordinator and lifetime freedom fighter, are always there for you. Like yours truly,Rotten Roger was presented a Silver Spoke Special Recognition “Grunt” Award from NCOMlast year for all his hard work over the years.

I should also announce to the world that Butch Harbaugh was selected by NCOM to receivenext year’s Ron Roloff Lifetime Achievement Award, NCOM’s highest honor.

There are so many that they can’t all be mentioned in one presentation, but I’m justfeeling this gratitude welling up in this old biker. So, I’ll try to include many moreas we go on with future Gunny’s Sacks. I don’t want to leave anyone out if I can helpit. These people are the driving force in Oregon’s fight for freedom and my brothers andsisters, and I love them all.

New Big Dog sports Avon Tyres.

OREGON CONFISCATIONS: Some late word on the motorcycle seizure case we’ve been following. This is a pro bono case that’s been handled by our AIM (Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists)/NCOM (National Coalition of Motorcyclists) Attorney here in Oregon, SamHochberg. You’ll recall a bike was seized because Eugene cops “thought” parts werestolen. THAT was in February. Sam’s firm went to court and raised constitutionalarguments about why they shouldn’t be permitted to keep a scoot indefinitely!

The Oregon Confederation of Clubs stood behind the plaintiff with support, and the casewent to the Court of Appeals, but it had to be withdrawn. Why? The cops finally CLAIMto have found a stolen part now, so the appeal is moot, says Sam.

But here’s the GOOD NEWS: As a result of this high-profile case, and because it’shappened to so many other Oregon bikers, our political action committee, BikePAC ofOregon, has targeted this confiscation law for reform in the legislature. Sam’s on theBikePAC committee that is going to try to structure and propose a fair law to ourlawmakers. We’ll keep ya’ posted, here in Sack-land, and you Oregon riders oughtta bemembers of BikePAC, if you aren’t already. The membership info is always in your ABATEand other biker newsletters, or you can e-mail me at AIMGunny@aol.com.

NEWS BITS ‘N PIECES

MIES, SWITZERLAND: This is a NO, NO and it doesn’t matter who you are. New Zealandmotocross rider Joshua Coppins tested positive at the Austrian 250cc Grand Prix for morethan six times the limit of the stimulant pseudoephedrine. He was suspended and a heavyfine slapped on. Why don’t I feel sorry for him?

DETROIT, MICHIGAN: How about these apples? According to the AP services, Harley-Davidsonis NO LONGER the bike of choice for thieves. Of the 25 most stolen motorcycles in 2001,eight were Hondas, seven were Suzukis, six were built by Yamaha, three by Kawasaki andjust one by Harley-Davidson, according to the study by CCC Information Services Inc. Themost popular bike to steal was the Yamaha YZFR6. Honda was the most stolen makeregardless of model.

I’m sure Harley is pleased to pass the honor on, and I’d guess Honda would sooner sellbikes than have them stolen.

ORLANDO, FLORIDA.: Less than 75 miles from the Kennedy Space Center one of our otherAmerican Bike success stories, Polaris’ Victory, has launched their own mission in thelargest product release in their history. A whole gob of new products. New all terrainrigs, New water sports stuff, and a stunning new custom Cruiser called the “Vegas”. 92inches of go, and pretty, according to press releases. Maybe we all need to pay Polarisdealers a visit. Sounds like some goodies we might not be able to live without.

ENGLAND: A 15 year-old lad here was killed during a riding demonstration, at a charityevent, when he collided with two others in the event that were down. Here’s a fellow whowas riding with people who KNEW what they were doing in a set display, and still he losthis life. Our hearts go out to his family; yet if there is any good in the whole thingit proves the fact that training, training, training is so important. Things can happenso fast. We must be alert ANY time we’re on our scoots.

ATLANTA, GEORGIA: If you get chased down the sidewalk by a man in blue on two wheels, itmight be a cop on one of those Segway scooters we reported on here in the Sack. You’veseen ’em on TV: the wheels are one next to the other, like a push- mower. You just standon the damned thing and it pops you around town. More for fast sidewalk riding, Ifigure. The company that builds these odd little machines has turned over a small batchof ’em for the cops in Atlanta to use, to figure out whether it’s gonna work for ’em, orif they will just feel silly riding them. We’ll see!

HOW ABOUT A BEANIE RECALL? NEXL Sports Products says all sizes of its NXT “Beanie”helmets, NEXL 01, Part Nos., MB021, MB031, and MB041 manufactured prior to February 28,2002, fail to comply with Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standard (FMVSS) 218,” which isthe federal regulations on helmets…not that anyone can figure out what all thatbeaurocratic mumbo-jumbo really means. But, if you own one of these critters get back tothe manufacturer, and they’ll make it right.

FROM TIGER MIKE IN OKLAHOMA COMES THIS GOOD WORD. . . I got word that a biker named Ronfrom Broken Arrow, Oklahoma just contacted Tiger Mike Revere, State Coordinator for ABATEof Oklahoma, with some good news. I want to share it with folks, since we need to savorour victories large and small. For a while now, according to Ron, a specific policeofficer from the Broken Arrow Police Department has been handing out exhaust violationtickets to Harley riders only. From the information Ron received, the officer had givenout 90 tickets in 30 days, and Ron says he was going strictly by the appearance of thepipes. No noise measurements at all.

His boss, the Broken Arrow Chief of Police, wascontacted by the Oklahoma Highway Patrol, and they requested a meeting with the Chief andthe officer involved. Ron said that after this meeting, the Chief and the officer metwith the county District Attorney. Apparently, the DA told the cop to cut it out,because of all the complaints from various high-level offices! So, big kudos to Ron forkeeping after this, and for keeping his ABATE folks informed. This is what we need:rank-and-file citizen-riders keeping vigilant and fighting to preserve Riding Liberty.

Thanks to Tiger Mike for the info, and all you folks up in the Broken Arrow area, enjoyyour victory, stay gracious, and we’ll all learn a lesson from ya. By the way, TigerMike is also a member of our NCOM Board of Directors, and it’s people like him that makeNCOM tick!

GUNNY AGAIN: It’s also important we remember the people that take such good care of uswhen we are hurt and our scooters are all bent up by cage drivers.

Our AIM attorneys across this great country of ours (and Canada) are our most importantasset and we should always take advantage of that. These good folks ride with us dailyand know what our world is because they live in it with us. If you are involved in anaccident or just need some legal advice on harassment or helmet issues, do call your AIMattorney at 1-800-ON-A-BIKE, and you will get useful information. Advice is always free.

Keep the round side on the bottom
Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff

NEW HAMSTERS RELEASED, WEBMASTER GOES DOWN, CANTINA CELEBRATES ONE YEAR AND DRUG WAR BLOWS UP IN AUTHORITIES’ FACES

Continued From Page 3

CALIFORNIA DRIVING SCHOOL ON LINE–We are pleased to announce the launch of our online Driver Education program – 4NewDrivers.com.

Our course is designed to help teenagers fulfill DMV requirements for driver education.Upon completion of this online course teenagers will be able to obtain learner’s permit and then driver license from DMV as soon as they turn 16.

As soon as a teenager passes the 4NewDrivers.com course – we send out the Certificate of Completion. As simple as that!

Our goal is to prepare teens for the challenges of the road, teach them defensive driving skills, and get them ready to take and pass the DMV test.

“Geez will I ever get to Sturgis?”

BIKERNET WEBMASTER GOES DOWN, LOSES MIND–It’s true the webmaster, Digital Gangster lost control of his rigid on a rain soaked rural road in the hills over looking Squalemie, Washington in hot pursuit of a Mustang back packed with buxom blondes. Here’s a photo of him less than two days after the horrendous accident. Following is a quote from him:

“I think we need to get laid more often.
I think alcohol is to expensive.
I think work sucks.
I think that by the time I’m ready to collect social security, the well willbe dry.
I think politicians are theives, just that they are above the law.
I think that the entire character of this country is slowing dropping downthe toilet.
I think the human race will do itself in, long before it ever truly getsintelligent enough to realize why we’re really here, what we should do aboutit etc. etc. etc.
I think I’m the only sane person in the world at times.
I think I need to go to the bathroom…..”

He’s under heavy medication. We’ll report on his progress next week.

–Snake

WOMEN–A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,”So you’re a man; that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

Flattered,the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely!” “This must be a sign from God!”

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies,”No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”

Moral of the story: Women are clever bitches. Don’t mess with them.

–from Chris T.

BANDIT’S CANTINA CELEBRATES ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY–We would like to take a moment to thank all the riders world wide who are members of Bandit’s Cantina. Actually the Anniversary was in February, but Jon just finished the illustration. And this coming January is the Seventh anniversary of Bikernet. Cantina membership supports the overall site and the content. If you’re not a member give it a shot. For this month only membership is just $15.00 a year. You won’t be dissappointed.Besides Jon Towle was responsible for the full color illustrations.

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE–Antipot helicopter caused California forest fire.by Preston Peet- for High Times,posted August 16, 2002.”This has got to be the very worst marijuana-related damage done in this state in my entire lifetime.” — Dale Gieringer, California NORML.

A forest fire that burned out of control for almost two weeks and devastated over 50,000 acres near San Diego was caused by a helicopter looking for pot farms, a California Department of Forestry investigation has concluded.

“A California National Guard helicopter was in the area looking for drugs, and clipped a power line, which caused a spark which started the fire,” said Martie Perkins, fire information officer for the department. The helicopter was working with a DEA anti-drug task force, out looking for marijuana grow operations.

Called the Pines fire, the blaze started on July 29 outside the town of Julian, about 40 miles northeast of San Diego. By the time it was brought under control, it had burned through 56,500 acres of land, turning 37 homes, 116 barns and other outbuildings, and 161 vehicles into cinders, for an estimated $10 million in damage. Between 500 and 1,000 people were evacuated, and 24 firefighters injured.

Fighting the fire took almost 2,700 firefighters, 17 helicopters and 10 air tankers, with the final cost estimated at $21 million.

“There’s no doubt that most of the outdoor marijuana-eradication efforts are not only a waste of money to begin with,” says Allen St. Pierre, head of the NORML Foundation, “but the immense property and environment damage that has been caused by this marijuana-eradication program in that forest is so many times greater of the value of any illegal marijuana found there. This is another gross excess in the War on Some Drugs.”

SCIENTISTS SAY ALCOHOL MAKES OTHERS BETTER LOOKING–‘The ‘Beer-Goggle Effect’ Does Actually Exist’.LONDON (Aug 20) – Want to be more attractive? — then make sure those around you are having a drink.

British scientists have found even modest amounts of alcohol will make the opposite sex appear better-looking.

“We have carried out experiments which show that what is known in the trade as the ‘beer-goggle effect’ does actually exist,” Barry Jones, professor of psychology at Glasgow University, told Reuters on Monday.

The study of 120 male and female students found drinking up to four units of alcohol — about two pints (one litre) of beer or four glasses of wine — increased the perceived attractiveness of members of the opposite sex by about 25 percent.

Jones said alcohol apparently stimulates a part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which judges facial attractiveness.

“There is a strong link between facial attractiveness and signals about the quality of a potential mate,” Jones said.

The professor said the study had been prompted by the causal link between risky sex and alcohol consumption.

Its findings come at a time when young Britons are increasingly binge drinking, which has serious health risks.

–from Geno HORSE

WILD FIRE H-D DEALS OF THE WEEK–Don’t forget, all August long Tires, OIL and cleaning products are on sale for 20% off! So, stock up on those consumables that will never go to waste!

Join us on August 25th for the HOT TIMES Poker Run. This run is sponsored by our local HOG chapter and supports the Illinois Fire Safety Alliance Burn Camp for Kids, a very worthy cause. You can also Buy a raffle ticket to win a brand new Sportster. Tickets are $10.00

Sign up for the run starts at 10:00 am at Wild Fire HD. 120 W. North Ave, Villa Park, IL, 630 834 6571. Last Bike out at noon.

We hope to see you in August to take advantage of the special savings on oil and tires and for the Burn Camp Poker Run.

Ride Safe and Live Free

–Ozzie
CEO-Dealer Principal

BIKERNET WHOREHOUSE ADVICE–A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her toleave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her hefound out she was working in a whorehouse.

The guy says to the cabbie, “Wanna make a $100?”

The cabbie says, “Sure,what do I have to do?”.

The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside thewhorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and takethem home. So the cabbie goes in.

A couple of minutes later the whore house door gets kicked open, and thecabbie is dragging this women out who is kicking, biting, punching, andfighting all the way to the cab. The cabbie opens the door to the cab,throws the girl inside, and tells the man, “Here hold her!!”

The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, “THIS AIN’T MYWIFE”.

The cabbie replied, “I KNOW, IT’S MINE; I’M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!”.

–from Needle Dan

NEED PARTS?–Bikernet is now a dealer for CSI parts. If you don’t have a dealer near you, or it’s the middle of the night and the dealer is 50 miles away, or won’t talk to you, or whatever. You can now order the parts directly through Bikernet and they’ll be shipped immediately from their storehouse to you. At least I hope so.

–Bandit

BIKERNET CLASSIFIEDS ARE FREE–JUST A REMINDER–Did you know that you could buy and sell on Bikernet? Well you can, alongwith trying to find that special someone. Our classifieds are free so youshould check it out. You’ll never know what you might find in there.

Personals
Looking for Woman at Spoke who…
Looking for the woman at the Spoke in Sturgis who was massaging mychest(and nipples)so nicely….

THE WEALTHY LAWYER–One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate, and asked, “Why are you eating grass?”

“We don’t have no money for food,” the first man replied.

“Oh, well, you can come with me to my house,” insisted the lawyer.

“But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here.”

“Bring them along!” replied the lawyer.

“But how ’bout m’ friend?”

The lawyer turned to the other man and said, “You come with us, too.”

“But, sir, I got a wife and six kids!”

“Bring them as well!” answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the poor fellows says: “Sir, you are too kind.Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’re gonna love my place . . . the grass is almost a foot tall.”

–from Chris T.

SECURITY COST RISES AT OHIO EASYRIDERS EVENT–CHILLICOTHE, Ohio (AP) — Recent motorcycle gang-related killings in otherstates have driven up security costs for an annual Labor Day biker rally,the sheriff said.

Ross County Sheriff Ron Nichols has increased security to 50 officers pershift, up from 30, for this year’s Easyriders Rodeo at the Ross Countyfairgrounds.

To pay for the extra officers, he has asked for $182,000 from rallyorganizers, $75,000 more than last year.

“In light of the recent violence, we’re focusing our security so our eventgoes off with a minimal amount of problems,” Nichols said.”

About 100,000 people attended last year’s event at the 178-acre fairgrounds,Nichols said, adding that other large motorcycle events have beefed upsecurity this year.

Nichols said members of different motorcycle gangs attend the rodeo.

John Green, president of Easyriders, based in Agoura Hills, Calif., said hehad no information indicating there would be violence in Chillicothe.”We have no reason to believe there is going to be any activity at ourshow,” he said.

The violence prompted two New Jersey towns to cancel motorcycle shows thisyear.

Security costs in Chillicothe have organizers looking at other locations,which has upset some who rely on the money it brings.

Ben Vanhorn, treasurer for First Capital Rotary, said his club’s biggestfund-raising event is selling bags of ice at the rodeo.

“It would be devastating to all our area organizations if Easyriders were toleave,” he said.

–Columbus Dispatch.

NORTH CASCADE HOG CHAPTER BURN RUN– We will meet you at the 1st Rest Stop onI-5, Southbound from the border at 1100am on Sunday the 25thof August to ride to the Burn Camp. They want us there around 1:30ishand will be providing lunch for us.

Please bring a toy for a camper.Suggested gift items to bring for the Burn Camp Campers are:

Disposable Cameras
Squirt Guns are always appreciated
Any other Item your members feel comfortable in bringing.Ages are 5-18 I believe…

See you on the 25th.Ride Safe and Keep the Shinny Side Up

–Marc

NEWLY INDOCTRINATED HAMSTERS AND STURGIS REPORT–Well hopefully everyone survived Sturgis and the return trip home. It was one crowded year in the Black Hills. We had a few minor accidents within the group, but everyone survived and are doing well. The Discovery Channel and Travel Channel followed the West Coast Hamsters crew to Sturgis and hung out most of the week. It will be aired for three days in September.

We have 15 new members this year. Let’s give them a warm Hamster welcome!

Butch Ersted, Morris, Minnesota
Jack Gagen, Waimanalo, Hawaii
Rick Hoffman, Columbiana, Ohio
Morri Irvin, Concord, North Carolina
Charlie Leggio, Metairie, Louisiana
Todd Rippo, Ketchum, Idaho
John Roehl, Coon Rapids, Minnesota
Gene Slater, Longview, Texas
Ron Snyder, Hidden Hills, California
Rich Sobiech, Bloomington, Minnesota
Matt Stutzman, Carson City, Nevada
Kent Terry, San Miguel, California
John Terzakis, Tequesta, Florida
Chris Thill, Chanhassen, Minnesota
Henry Tonkin, Orange Park, Florida

QUOTE OF THE DAY– “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

– – Author Unknown

I’VE HAD IT–That’s all I can take, but I must say Happy Birthday to Puss and Boots. She’s featured in The Cantina with her wild sexy columns that will make yer hair stand up on the back of your neck and shimmy.

Regarding Jon Towle, we may lose him in the near future as he becomes a syndicated newspaper cartoonist. Although he’s been turned down by over 500 dailies, he is currently attempting to contribute to grocery store throw-aways. Unfortunately, every time he uses Bikernet as a reference he gets turned down. We wish him all the best though. And yes, he is now the starving artist owner of a rusting old Sportster contributed to him through Bikernet’s helpful readers. A basket case would be affording this rusting and pitted machine a compliment. We’re waiting for shots of a running bike, if that’s possible.

Jon is the visual mastermind behind Bikernet, a guitar playing, bike riding, Mr. Mom who lives in the fire racked -Angeles Crest Forest in a garage. The site wouldn’t be the same without him. Now, hit happy-hour and go for a ride. You deserve it.

–Bandit

NEW SAMSON EXHAUST, OREGON CONFISCATES BIKES AND 117 FEWER VENDORS IN STURGIS

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HARLEY-DAVIDSON ANNOUNCES 100th ANNIVERSARY FUNDRAISING PARADE TO BENEFIT MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY ASSOCIATION (MDA)–MILWAUKEE (August 22, 2002) – Harley-Davidson is planning a fundraising motorcycle parade, the ?Parade of MDA Heroes,? to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) during the 100th Anniversary Celebration in Milwaukee, Wis., in August 2003. The Parade of MDA Heroes is the only official parade during the Celebration in Milwaukee.

During the next 12-months of the 100th Anniversary celebration, Harley-Davidson hopes to raise $5 million to fund research and program services for children and adults with neuromuscular disease. The Motor Company is hosting the Parade of MDA Heroes as a special fundraising program to encourage and reward the efforts of MDA fundraisers. Harley-Davidson hopes to generate $1 million in donations from the parade, making it a true ?parade of MDA heroes?.

To help reach the $1 million mark, Harley-Davidson is encouraging riders to raise a minimum of $5,300 in pledges, which pays for 100 minutes of MDA-funded research. “The Parade of MDA Heroes will honor those who are some of our top MDA supporters ? individuals who combine their love of riding with passion for this great cause,” said Kathleen Lawler, Harley-Davidson’s vice president of communications. “This parade is going to be the experience of a lifetime for many valued supporters.”

????

?? Two hundred individual fundraisers who register with MDA and raise a minimum of $5,300 in donations will be invited to participate in the parade. Fundraisers can secure their spot in the parade in one of two ways. First, the top 100 fundraisers who generate the highest amounts for MDA will be invited to ride in the parade. The next 100 participants will be chosen through a random drawing of the balance of eligible candidates.

In addition to the individual fundraisers, the 50 Harley-Davidson dealers who raise the most funds for MDA will be invited to ride in the parade. To top it off, Harley-Davidson VIPs and H.O.G. chapters from around the world will escort the heroes as they travel the parade route.

The money raised by individuals and dealers will be credited to MDA research and program services in their local community. Funds raised must be turned in to MDA, in up-front, paid donations by July 15, 2003. MDA will notify the qualifying fundraisers by July 22, 2003. In addition, the names of qualifying fundraisers and dealers will be posted on harley-davidson.com.

To participate, individual fundraisers must register with MDA by calling 1-800-IM A HERO or online at www.harley-davidson.com.

EXCEPTIONAL CHILDRENS’ FOUNDATION BEACH RIDE WILL LIVE AGAIN–Do to the problem in Laughlin, the authorities in Ventura County California have shut down virtually every motorcycle related event in their region including the annual charity fund raiser, the Beach Ride. The following reports on the progress to find a new site:

Regarding the site search, we have submitted proposals to Long Beach and Frazier Park. Gene Arias is helping us look for a private park in Los Angeles County.

FYI: We have reorganized the Development department in order to make best use of resources in generating greater support from the community. With the development campaign to raise $2 million by 2005, the current fund raising (esp. special events), PR, plus the projects that I need to develop further like volunteer recognition, planned giving, online fundraising, cultivation, database etc. etc, it is too much for one person to handle. ECF hired an External Relations person (Sandy)to work with a consultant on the development campaign (mostly grant applications), and PR as well as help Dr. Bowling (our ceo) with legislative efforts and community outreach.

There will no longer be a special events coordinator position in the Development department. Effective immediately, Kia will provide administrative support to Sandy. Ernie and Herlita will remain in the Development department to help me pick up special events, and expand the volunteers, annual and planned giving programs and other Development projects. Harvey Farr will also no longer provide PR support; we have had another PR agency and are now using them to the max for a nominal increase in retainer fee.

That’s the latest from ECF for now…appreciate your support as always, Carmela (310) 845-8060.

This charity is sponsored by Bartels’ Harley-Davidson, Larry Hagman and Bikernet. Please call if you would like to help in any respects.

ROAD GLIDE INQUIRY–Paul Vestal, a muckety muck for motorcycle rights groups most of his life and a long time friend has been having handling problems with his Road Glide. Here’s one of his last e-mails, “The neck bearings are adjusted correctly and were just checked. I do believethat the RG frame is different!!! At high speeds the bike becomes hard tohold. Not a shimmy but rather it seems not easy to get it to “track”. I havelearned that riding these things is a whole different experience and takesmuch greater skill and concentration than the Bikes that I have built in thepast. With this one–I wonder if the issue is in the front gas shock set up.

Before you buy a bagger–try of the RG–it is a very different scoot andpreforms like a rocket! “

Of course I pointed out to him that skill and the ability to concentrate could be a major factor. I also told him that all touring models are in the same frame. I’m concerned about any rider who tells me of a “tracking or wobble problem.” I recently spoke to Frank Kaisler, the editor of Hot Rod bikes for a decade. Frank pointed out that even tire pressure can make a significant difference. Drive train alignment with the swingarm from side to side and vertically is also critical. He also mentioned that the later model units have 1-inch axles and sealed ball bearings which are tougher and have no end play like the earlier Timken bearings for a more solid handling package.

Of course Paul will probably ignore any advice and ride to his new girl’s pad at breakneck speeds. “I hope to do some riding withher while I’m on vacation. She owns a 1200 Sportser and a twin cam Fat Boy, Paul wrote, ” Just to let you know that I am not sleeping!!! Her name is Zoe–she is aMainer and Lobster Boat Cpt.–she sold the family business prior to being on Survivor Outback! So be careful whose tracksyou try to ride!!!”If you ride a Road Glide report in and let me know your thoughts.–Bandit

RULES OF THE JUNGLE–When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him,and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.

“Tarzan not know sex,” he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, “Oh,…Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.”

Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you have it all wrong,…but I will showyou how to do it properly.”

She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. “Here” she said,”you must put it in here.”

Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his considerable manhood,stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed:”What did you do that for?”

“Tarzan check for squirrel.”

BLACK MAGIC MOTORSPORTS– This is the inside of BlackMagic Motorsports. They offer a full service department. A complete machine shop. As you can tell this is no junk shop and they do quality work.

They are located in Mesa, Az. on McKellups and Stapley.

John Hopkins is the owner you can reach him at: BlackMagic Motorsports
Ph# 480-668-6886
625 E. McKellips Suite 7
Mesa, Az. 85202

?I gotta go to work, running late but wanted to get you this info. As time goes on I will be posting more info on what he is building etc.

–Later for now, Paul

A COUPLE GUNS SHORT OF AN ARSENAL–Two Raleigh, N.C., police officers were reprimanded after they lost asub-machine gun and a handgun on their way to teach a gun safety class.

FALLING DOWN ON THE JOBIn Malaysia, a bank security guard in his second day on the job fainted whenarobber walked in and pulled a pistol.

SAFETY’S OFFIn Philadelphia, a gun-safety program went afoul when a policewoman’s gun –being passed around a fifth-grade classroom — accidentally went off and thebullet grazed a 10-year-old’s face.

NUMBER THREE, TURN TO THE SIDE, LIE DOWN AND ROLL OVERAfter a delivery-woman was bitten by a sheepdog in Somerset, U.K., policehelda sheepdog lineup so the victim could identify her attacker.

FINDERS KEEPERSA Dallas police officer faced suspension and a fine after he ate aMcDonald’schicken sandwich he found in the car of an accident victim who was takenawayin an ambulance.

DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOBIn Stockholm, a young Swedish woman was expelled from the police academyafter it was discovered that she was working as a prostitute after school.Thewoman apparently used academy computers to advertise for customers on theInternet.

HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN’ LOVEA Minnesota police chief resigned after he was accused of starting a fire sohecould put it out and be a hero in the eyes of his ex-girlfriend.John Tuchek, 34, set fire to some boxes outside his ex-girlfriend’sapartment inLanesboro, intending to put out the flames, but the ensuing blaze engulfed ashop, two historic buildings and the homes of 10 people.

–from Rogue

BIKERNET UNDERCOVER STURGIS REPORT–117 fewer vendors?
Meters report lower counts.
FIVE tons less garbage collected.

Boy, if the newspaper didn?t tell me different, I?d swear that attendance was down!

–from John Leonardini

SAMSON’S– Big Guns 2 “Slashers” are slashing the competition!You want pipes that will deliver High Performance and Sound that will clearthose roads for you? These Bad and Beautiful pipes are the ones.

SAMSONEXHAUST has done it again with the new Big Guns 2 “Slashers” with thetightest fitting 220? full coverage heat shields anywhere. The Big Guns 2″Slashers” are just one of the new, exciting and great series of pipes fromthe Big Guns 2 family that only SAMSON can guarantee with Awesome Style,Sound and Performance. All “Big Guns 2” come complete with mounting bracketsand hardware.

MSRP for the Long Slashers are $399.95 and the Short Slashers are $379.95for sales contact your local SAMSON dealer or contact SAMSON EXHAUST.

OREGON CONFISCATIONS–Some late word on the motorcycle seizure case we’ve been following. This is a pro bono case that’s been handled by our AIM (Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists)/NCOM (National Coalition of Motorcyclists) Attorney here in Oregon, SamHochberg. You’ll recall a bike was seized because Eugene cops “thought” parts werestolen. THAT was in February. Sam’s firm went to court and raised constitutionalarguments about why they shouldn’t be permitted to keep a scoot indefinitely!

The Oregon Confederation of Clubs stood behind the plaintiff with support, and the casewent to the Court of Appeals, but it had to be withdrawn. Why? The cops finally CLAIMto have found a stolen part now, so the appeal is moot, says Sam.

But here’s the GOOD NEWS: As a result of this high-profile case, and because it’shappened to so many other Oregon bikers, our political action committee, BikePAC ofOregon, has targeted this confiscation law for reform in the legislature. Sam’s on theBikePAC committee that is going to try to structure and propose a fair law to ourlawmakers. We’ll keep ya’ posted, here in Sack-land, and you Oregon riders oughtta bemembers of BikePAC, if you aren’t already. The membership info is always in your ABATEand other biker newsletters, or you can e-mail me at AIMGunny@aol.com.

This came from the recent Gunny Sac and AIM report that will be launched in the next couple of days in the Bikers Rights Department of Bikernet. Watch for it.

EVER WONDER–Ever wonder where the word “shit” comes from…..well here it is:

Certain types of manure used to be transported (as everything was back then) by ship…….well in dry form it weights a lot less, but once water (at sea) hits it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, which by product is methane gas…..and as the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern.. BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term “S.H.I.T” on them which meant to the sailors to “Ship High In Transit.” In other words high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Bet you didn’t know that one.

–from Rogue

24TH ANNUAL TEMPLE PARTY DRAGS COMIN’– The Texas Scooter Times would Like to Remind Everyone about the 24th Annual Temple Party Drags “Labor Day Weekend” at Temple Academy Dragway.

Featuring Nitro Harleys and Top Gas Dragsters with 28 Sportsman Classes for any type of Harley!Three nights of Live Music – Huge Vendor Midway – Special Motorcycle Only Camping Area – Bike Show – Bud Girls – R.V. Friendly Camping – Sunday Church Services – Burn Out Contests – Field Meet!

Temple Academy Dragway: On the banks of the Little River in a Pecan tree grove so thick that nearly the entire track is shaded, the Texas Scooter Times is preparing for another Full House of Harley Enthusiasts – Be there or hear about it FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!!August 30-13st, September 1-2nd at Temple Academy Dragway. Track is Located 9 miles South of Temple on HWY 95.Gates Open Friday (August 30) at 4 p.m.For more information visit: www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066.See You There!

ACTUAL WORDS FROM JON TOWLE–I have a little cousin by the name of Taner Lantow. He’s only 11 yearsold. The kid is well on his way to being a top professional skateboardchampion. The pros in this sport make a nice chunk of change, whichreally isn’t the point, but it don’t hurt none. Recently, he was writtenup in ” Sports Illustrated” this last June.

I’m proud of him and just wanted to mention his accomplishments. And,due to the fact that this kids father, Mitch (also a cousin…duh!) soldme my first harley about two billion years ago. So, here is a shot ofthe up and coming kid and that Harley I mentioned.

–Jon Towle

Jon actually scanned the shot from Sports Illustrated in a weak effort to prove that in fact he did not steal this motorcycle.

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