BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DEER SEASON OPENS, JOSE REPORTS AND MASS MAY CHANGE BIKE INSURANCE RULES

Continued From Page 3

WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?– AT&T fired President John Walter after ninemonths, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 millionseverance package.

Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

–from Rogue

NEW PART OF THE WEEK, CYRIL HUZE MIRROR GRIP EXTENSION– Cyril Huze offers new grips (for factory or internal throttle) featuring the possibility to use a mirror on the grip clutch side. This clutch side grip extension bolt on directly on all Cyril Spikee grips (3 designs: smooth, 3-band, twisted). Grip extension and mirror sold separately.

–Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com

KING ADDENDUM–We installed highbars on the King this week and ran the wires through the bars. What a goddamn ordeal. Here’s a comment from our dealership connection: “Wiring through the bars is a pain for sure. Not my favorite thing to do. Now Harley has these heated grips we are putting on for everybody, that shit runs through the bars also.”

–Pablo

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Let’s see what’s new this week… What should I bitch about or what should I be happy for ?? Ah yes ! Daytona….What the hell is wrong with the people there !!! If it wasn’t for both bike events, the turkey Hot Rod thing, Spring Break and the 500… There would be no money coming in..No sir…

If you’ve ever been to this beach town between events you might know what I’m talking about,——————————- yeap , like the blank space back there, nothing… Main street is a ghost town. The bike shops are doing their thing but the walls echo when you go in. The hotels drop from $300.00 a night to $65.00 (for the ritzy ones), but some residents are being bothered by the noise !!!

Mind you , that horrible noise lasts for 15 days total, so they still have 350 days of peace. Bring it to Puerto Rico, do five whole weeks if you want. I’m sure the people here would not mind a super million buck influx. I know it won’t happen, but what if next March only a couple hundred bikes show up…..I bet my new chopper and Bandit’s Road Kill, that the residents will cry out loud for the bikers to come back. The noise the Chamber of Commerce will make would be louder than Biff&nb! sp;Rub with his new pipes. Then there’s always Orlando, maybe Tampa…Who cares about the beach. It’s a dump anyway. You want beach, you come to the Caribbean. It’s a shame that while cities are trying to attract bikers, the ones that have them try to get rid of them…. If anyone involved in the Bike week thing happens to read this, remember one thing: You are bitching now about bikes, what’s next ? Those damn race cars….Your main income is tourism…. Go ahead, get rid of both Bike events….I dare you…. You will be fucking sorry.

I guess you’ve noticed I’m being pretty mild, we’ve been pretty swamped (yeah, so what’s new !) Another WCC is done, my new chopper is receiving a lot of attention, and a Road Kill that will put Bandit’s to shame is about a day away (if our powder coater get’s his ass in gear). We are even shutting down all traveling ’till January. Lucky Thanksgiving is coming up, so we can put solid hours of work with no interruptions. Although I’m heavily pondering the trip to Tahiti with T Bear and some of the Bikernet staff, and maybe another quick visit to the Sunny (yeah right !) shores of California. Not only that but some new plans and a lot more work from my usual forums (Bikernet and The Horse) are leaving this island boy with less hours to sleep…and sleep is sacred! In other words…I’m toast. Anyway…there’s a lot of new projects coming up, lot’s of bikes and articles, so we will do what we have to do while we can…. Man , that Tahiti trip sounds better and better…So goddammit , let’s get to the news….

The Hog Caribbean rally will take place this coming week end, they will leave San Juan for a ride thru the mountains , but most of the event will take place around the southern town of Ponce. I’m sure all the 100th annusversary bikes will be traveling in packs, with their shinny chrome and nice leathers, (while it’s 85 degrees) Guess I will have a lot of stories for next week.. We even had a Road Kill for Bandit, but they gave it to Roy ,the Road captain. I guess his preferred customer card had a higher spending limit…The “Kickoff party” will take place tonight, I think we will pay them a nice visit…after I’m done with this.

Billy Lane is building the Easyriders bike for Daytona Bike week (if there’s one) VQ’s awards. Knowing Billy it will be a slap in the face to the mere mortals…With that, the Camel bike, the Discovery bike and every day stuff. Choppers Inc. seems to be as busy as ever (yeah and me bitching, geezz..)

Speaking of Discovery, Billy has a Master plan of riding from Boston to Columbus in February…I had some practice last week while in California, but have been standing in front of my fridge, for half an hour stints trying to create some endurance…up to now all I’ve managed is to raise my cold and sinus pill consumption, and calling several nut houses who will take Billy….

Our new Chopper…the beast that will beat Bandit’s Road kill to Sturgis, aka Plata o Plomo ( money or lead) aka Da’ Evil child, is already on the lift. Most of the components are in my possession, with very few things missing… It’s all going according to plans, the Shovel will be the power plant of choice. I’m checking it out right now, and maybe will do some mods for a bit more. “Performance” down the road, the tranny will be a 5-spd Rev Tech with kicker…plus lots of other “surprise components” . The frame is the first of our Caribbean Custom Cycles specials…with a mere 45 degree, 6 inches up and 4″ on the backbone….RIGID ! Soon…grasshopper…soon…

Anyway, that’s about it… I know you…(Bikernet’s Caribbean fans) were expecting more…but wait ’till I feel better, (those cold tablets make me groggy). I’ll be back with a vengeance.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report (done between a welding and fitting break)

So I take it, you won’t make it on the route 66 Arizona run next weekend? Light weight.

BIKERNET FAMILY THERAPY–Women believe if a pet cat strays, it’s because of a lack ofaffection at home.

Women believe if a pet dog strays, it’s because of a lack ofaffection at home.

Women believe that if a woman strays, it’s because of a lack ofaffection at home.

Women believe that if a man strays, it’s because men arescum-sucking, fucking assholes!

–from Snivelin’ Steve

BIKERNET SUPPORTS DEER SEASON, SHOOT THOSE BASTARDS– I want to get my gun and start shooting. Everyone I know is all about the deer hunting right now. They sit quietly in a tree for hours at a time trying to be still. That is exactly the kind of shit I’ve avoided all my life. I like it loud and moving. If you could still shine those deer I would be more in to it. Drinking at night, riding around in the back of a truck shooting anything that crosses the road is for me.

Hell yes. I’m for sure with that. Of course, the man has shut me down on my desires again. The man has a rule against most everything I think is fun. When I’m king of the world it’s going to be a fun place.

–The Ozark King

MASSACHUSETTS MOTORCYCLISTS QUESTION INSURANCE DISCREPANCIES A motorcyclists’ group has hailed new support from the auto-insurers industry as a major step toward ensuring motorcycle owners get fair access to coverage options, reported the Boston Herald in their October 22 Business News section.

The Massachusetts Motorcycle Association claims that insurance policies in the state have for years unfairly treated motorcyclists differently than car drivers, and sent advocates to participate in the insurance industry?s annual rate hearings to voice their concerns.

On August 22, 2002, Betsy Lister and Paul Cote appeared and testified at the rate hearings, and distributed written submissions prepared by the MMA requesting that the Insurance Commissioner investigate “unfair, discriminatory, excessive pricing, and violations of public policy involving motorcycle coverages and rates.”

Consequently, the auto insurers agreed recently with several key proposals that the motorcyclists’ group sought, though the final decision still rests with state Division of Insurance Commissioner Julie Bowler.

–Bill Bish

Read the whole AIM/NCOM Rights report in the Bikernet Rights department. And check with DJ (Dana) Coates for Bros Club insurance information. He’s the Bikernet Insurance Expert. We’re also working on an article with Dana on insurance coverage and registration laws from state to state with David Aldridge. Watch for it:

DJ (Dana) Coates,
The Small Business Insurance Center on the Internet
United Western Insurance Brokers Lic#0D73849an affiliate of United Agencies, Inc.
525 Cordova St. Pasadena, CA 91101-2552
Phone (626) 397-4700 x 205
FAX (626) 683-7682

BIKERNET DEEP THOUGHTS–….by Jack Handey.The next time you’re having a bad day, imagine this:

You’re a Siamese twin.
Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay.
You’re not.
He has a date coming over today.
But you only have one ass.
Feel better?

–from Dan

NEW FEATURE SPEEDS ACCESSORIES SEARCH ON HARLEY-DAVIDSON.COM– Harley-Davidson has added a more convenient way to browse the 4,500 accessories cataloged on its consumer website, harley-davidson.com. Beginning in October, the Genuine Motor Accessories section of the site will be organized by model and year, so users can view a catalog of accessories designed for each Harley-Davidson model from 1984 to present, making it much easier to look at items for a particular bike.

For almost as long as Harley-Davidson has been building world-class motorcycles, it has been creating the finest collection of motorcycle parts and accessories for those bikes. However, the huge volume of items offered in the Genuine Motor Accessories and Genuine Motor Parts print and online catalogs can make it difficult to locate specific items. Now there are three convenient ways to navigate the Genuine Motor Accessories catalog on harley-davidson.com: by specific vehicle year and model, by specific product names or part number, or by model family.

Harley-Davidson’s online catalog is the key source for the most current information on new accessory introductions as well as updates on existing accessories. Accessories can be added to the user’s shopping cart or to their wish list, which can then either be printed or sent via e-mail to any Harley-Davidson dealership.

DON’T FORGET TO ORDER A PERFORMANCE MACHINE CATALOG–Performance Maching is now apart of the Bikernet Crew. Check their site and order a catalog.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS–Above is a shot of the shrunken FXR during precision measurment taking. Giggie from Compu-fire is working on the mid-controls and needed a specific measurment. There you have it. Bikernet advanced technology.

I had been summoned to perform jury service as a good citizen no less than a dozen times. It’s not that I don’t want to carry out my duty, but deadlines always jump into lane leading to the courthouse. They finally snatched me and I was forced to show up or stand up in court to defend myself to avoid the fine.

I was picked for a trial and fought the crowded corridors to reach the court room. Lots of waiting around until we were called into the drab paneled room with the insignia of the city of Long Beach perched heavily over the judge’s head. He gave us a sheet of paper containing questions he would ask that indicated, if you answered positively to each one, that you weren’t a human being, but a legal spounged. If squeezed you would cough up a verdict. The judge told us the charge, but is was unclear, as if he read the code number without description, so I asked again, “What’s this guy charged with?”Now the truth bolted forth, “Cocaine possession.” I gulped. I dislike most drug laws. I’ve watched numerous lives ruined due to ridiculous drug restrictions. The questioning began. Ultimately the judge reached me and I confessed to my dislike of strident drug statutes. Then the prosecutor opened up on me. I told her that sitting in the jury booth reminded me of memories from 25 years ago when friends’ lives were ruined over drugs. The judge cut me loose.

Back to the waiting room. I think I propped open a door, because other jurers began to confess. One said in court that he smoked pot on the weekends. He was also asked to leave and probably followed to his car. Just being there made me nervous.

I was finally cut loose in time to pick up my jet-hot coated pipes for Monday’s dyno test. Have a helluva weekend and stay out of court, will ya.

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LOU FROM STD IS GONE, BIKERNET STAFFER JOINS GUERRILA GROUP AND BRAZILIAN COPS RIDE HARLEYS

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET OZARK REPORT–NEW BIKES RULE–Just a few years ago, maybe four at the most, I had the newest bike of most of my friends. Now, everyone has a new bike. Philip just bought him a dyna. It’s not new but it only has about 1500 miles on it.

He’s been saying he was going to get it but he finally worked it all out on Friday. He’s a big guy. 6’2 or 3 and about 325. He has this little Panhead bike he built that’s a tiny little bike. He always looked strange being that big on such a tiny bike. You had it on the website for a trophy he won at the ABATE swap meet last year.

Anyway, his girl is a big girl and the Pan didn’t have a seat and the fender stopped at his ass, so there was no way even a tiny girl like my girl could ride on it. He and his girl came over Friday night on the dyna and we went riding. this bike is not much bigger than the pan but it has a seat for two. They used every bit of that seat, and both were hanging over the ends. It was funny as hell and, every time we would stop they would both bitch about the conditions. I laughed my ass off all night.

It was freezing cold and we were all decked in winter stuff and that just added more size to us. We rode out to Miss kittys, to the river, over to Rodneys shop, and anywhere Philip thought he might see someone to show his bike to. It was a great time.

I don’t know why everyone is buying new bikes at the beginning of winter. They paid the same price that they were going to pay in the spring. Now everyone wants to go riding. My chaps will see plenty of action this year. At least I hope so…

–Ozark Ed

BRAZILIAN CHAPERONES RIDE HARLEYS– They share their name -“batedores” – with the pioneers who once hacked their wayinto the depths of the Brazilian rain forest with machetes,opening paths through the dense tropical undergrowth.

But the 138 men and two women who serve under Capt. S?rgioMerlo of the S?o Paulo military police as motorcycleoutriders wield no knives. They slice, instead, through thechaos of S?o Paulo astride shiny scarlet-and-whiteHarley-Davidson Police Road Kings, clearing the way for thelimousined entourage of whichever president, princess orrock star is in town.

Their reward? Apart from a modest $300 salary, snapshotswith the stars – Michael Jackson even asked for a uniform -who most Brazilians could only dream of meeting.

In a city with 18 million people, five million cars and10,000 miles of mostly pothole-pocked tarmac, theirs is anear-Herculean task. At rush hour, over 60 miles of snarledtraffic is the norm.

So traumatizing is S?o Paulo traffic that C?cero Barrosmakes his living off a chain of driving schools he foundedthat offer workshops with psychologists to drivers whoalready have their license, but are too scared to brave S?oPaulo traffic.

“The mood in traffic is so hostile that some people developmore than fear,” he said. “It becomes a phobia.”

So Captain Merlo’s outriders need a mix of courage, guileand patience to carve through the traffic. Unlike policemotorbike escorts in other large cities, they are much morethan ornamental. Yet they do not have the luxury of sealingoff whole routes to let a dignitary’s convoy pass.

“If any of my officers totals a bike” – which retail inBrazil for $28,000 – “he’ll be paying it off for the restof his life,” Captain Merlo said.

Hence the forceful style of the “hackers” in traffic.

“They ride by with one boot raised as if they were ready tokick in the car door,” said Aylton Jelmayer, 52, who hasbeen driving taxis in S?o Paulo for 32 years. “But I guessthey have to be like that. Here you see cases where thetraffic won’t pull aside even for an ambulance with itssirens on.”

–from TBear

BIKERNET AUSTRALIAN REPORTER TAKES LEAVE OF ABSENCE– This will come as a shock to those of you who know me well, but I have made the monumental decision to take a complete year off.

There are a number of reasons, but the major contributor to my decision has been my involvement with a guerrilla group in Bolivia, who are fighting for freedom and justice against unbelievable odds.

I have been communicating with this group for several months, and now finally will join them. I know most of you will think I am totally crazy but I have not made this decision lightly.

Nothing you can say or do will stop me doing what I truly believe in.

I hope to see you again when the battle is won…..

–Ray R.

FREE BIKERNET STICKERS– Send us a self-addressed stamped envelope and we?ll send you free stickers. Mail it to:
Bikernet.com
P.O. Box 1168
San Pedro, CA 90733-1168

HAWAIIAN EVENT COMIN’– Our event is 2 weeks away!! And we’d like to thank all those who donated and supported us, Very Much!! And those that couldn’t we’d like to thank you also for your time.

Roy Gomez,Hawaiian Dragons MC,And the TOYS 4 TOTS Committee…. We’d all like to say MAHALO NUI LOA!!! Thank you very much and have a safe Holiday Season, God Bless……..

Mahalo Nui Loa,
Darren P.
Dragon Productions
94-823 Kime St.
Waipahu, HI. 96797
dragonproduction@aol.com

ENGLISH JOURNALIST LOOKING FOR A HORSE–Hi Rogue,Been home 10 days and its rained for 9 of them.I have a favour to ask. After an initial contact with The Horse BC via email when they showed interest in my work I’ve sent about 10 e-mails to them since Aug this year, but have not had a reply. Your buddy Bandit seems to be tight with them, maybe you could ask him to ask them if they are receiving my mails and if so why they aren’t answering them. I have a lot of material that’s very much their style – Pan, Knuck and Shovel chops, plus a few Brits and nasty Japs, both from the US and the UK and Europe and the text that’s already written for the features is very much their anti-Yuppie biker style.

I could send the features to Crossroads as they use my material already almost every month, but they would cut all of the sarcasm and acerbic nuances out of the text as it’s not really their style – and anyway, I have enough ‘nice’ HOG-type features for them to use.

I’d very much like to get these features published in the Horse, (and it’s not just the money as they’ve already told me that they don’t pay much, I really like the mag), but for whatever reasons they don’t answer my e-mails. I’ve included a sample text and a couple of jpegs of a rigid Shovel so that you can see that the features I’m talking about would fit the Horse format,

Any pull you have with these people would be appreciated, Regards,

–Bob

Geno will receive a dynamite laden missive in tomorrow’s mail.

BIKERNET FIRE CHIEF CHECKIN’ IN–I’ll be you didn’t know that the Bikernet compound is so large we have our own fire department. Karl Keierleber is the chief. For the last ten years he was the Chief of the Fire Department in Scottsdale, Arizona. He rode with me and Myron Larrabee, Mr. Easyriders, to Sturgis two years in a row. He has recently accepted the position as the Bikernet Fire Chief. His duty generally is to put out fires between the staff members. Here’s a note from the man:

Into an Irish pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cutand bruised and he’s walking with a limp.

“What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender.

“Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy.

“That little shit, O’Conner,” says Sean,”he couldn’t do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.”

“That he did,” says Paddy,”a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin’ he gave me with it.”

“Well,” says Sean,”you should have defended yourself, didn’t you have something in your hand?”

“That I did,” said Paddy. “Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.”

–Karl

IN MEMORIUM OF LOU TRACHTENBERG OF STD DEVELOPMENT–Nov. 18th, Chatsworth, CA- Lou Trachtenberg, 52, owner and founder ofSTD Development in Chatsworth, CA, passed away unexpectedly this weekendfrom yet to be determined causes after falling ill and beinghospitalized the day before. Lou had a history of medical problemsincluding kidney failure, which had been resolved 3 years earlier with akidney transplant donation from one of his company employees.

Located in Chatsworth, Ca, STD Development was founded by Lou in 1975. Aspecialist in race car engine building who also had a passion forHarleys, Low saw the need in the Harley market for much strongerreplacement Harley cases for use in high performance applications. Hisnew company was started by designing, building and offering the firstever complete set of performance replacement cases for the American BigTwin. Over the years the STD product line grew to include performancehead assemblies, transmissions, and now complete engine and drive trainassemblies. Lou took pride in building what are renown to be among thestrongest, best performing products for the American V-Twin market.

An honest, no bull kind of guy with a great sense of humor, Lou wasloved and respected by everyone who knew him. In his Last Will, Lou leftSTD company ownership to his employees who will continue running thecompany with the same pride in the products they build.

Any information regarding a memorial ceremony for Lou Trachtenberg,expected to be held later this week, will be noted on the STD websiteat: www.STDdevelopment.com or friends can phone STD Development at(818) 998-0210.

–from TBear

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–WIDE DYNA KITS, ANOTHER FLORIDA RALLY ATTACKED, PARTIES AND CHRISTMAS DEALS

Continued From Page 1

HELEN WOLFE’S BREAK FROM THE NEWS–Suzanne’s new roommate and long time friend MARYANN had her 27th birthday party Saturday night. They had a grunge garage band, and while the music started a little late, the cops came and stopped us a little early, right after they returned from the second keg fetch.

The redhead is MaryAnn, the long-haired gal in black is Suzanne’s daughter, a champion pole dancer (she said she’ll find ya some pics). Lil Leslie, our printer at work, is the short one (I’d say with the buzz on, but we all did so its moot).

–Helen

THE MAN’S CODE–How many men does it take to open a beer? “None”!!! It should be opened by the time she brings it.

CAN YOU SAY “HOLY CRAP!”–You would say that because there’s only 34 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!!! Now all at once, HOLY CRAP! Yeah, uh huh. I leave you alone for a few weeks and you forget all about your loved ones. You come here to Bikernet to read the news, look at the babes, ogle the bikes, no wait, that’s ogle the babes and look at the bikes. Anyway, I’m back to save the day. In addition to our own Gulch Gift shop, I’m gonna give a few banner links of other places you can go to purchase online for Christmas gift giving and shopping anytime.

JOKER MACHINE APPAREL–These guys have shirts and hats that are the shits. Not to mention their models are tasty. You’ll wanna check them out just for the babes alone. But while you’re in there I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll like, or something you can give as a gift. In the Gulch–

HA Leather–Joe’s products speak for themselves. Not to mention the customer service you get from Lori. They really know leather and how to make you a satisfied customer when you put your trust in them for your leather riding gear. Check em’ out! In the Gulch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOT BIKE HOT SAUCE– These nice people sent us a bottle to test and I loved it! It has an orange sort of tangy taste. Bandit thought it wasn’t hot enough, but I was informed they were working on a hotter sauce. This first product was directed to a more general audience but next time they’ll go for the gusto. Can you say “flaming asshole?” Click on their banner for a visit and tell ’em Bikernet sent you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STRAIGHT PIPEZ–Great Stuff For Real Bikers. These guys have T-shirts with attitude, hats and tanks & thongs for the women. Give them a visit and see if they have something in your size and style!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O.K. guys, I’ve given you more than enough help here so now it’s up to you. Just remember that Christmas is right around the corner and the fastest way to getting cut-off, as in no pussy, is to forget about your girl. Or, to forget about your best bro would be pretty fucked-up. He’s probably out shopping for you right now.

See ya!

Sin

PROTEST AGAINST MOTORCYCLE RALLY PRECEDES PERMIT REQUEST–By CHRISTINE GIRARDIN, crgirardin@naplesnews.com(Florida). Early plans for a daylong motorcycle rally in Bonita Springs are attracting the kind of interest the rally’s organizer could do without. Protesters are contacting City Council members and writing letters to local newspapers to register opposition to the event, even though organizer Luke McGinnis hasn’t yet submitted the paperwork asking the city to permit the rally.

McGinnis wants to have an afternoon motorcycle rally at the Naples-Fort Myers Greyhound Track in Bonita Springs in April. He thinks that, with direct marketing to affluent, over age 40 riders in Charlotte, Lee and Collier counties, the event could attract 2,000 to 3,000 riders eager to meet with fellow motorcycle enthusiasts.

AT A GLANCE

Luke McGinnis will present his plan for the daylong motorcycle rally and application for a special event permit at the Special Events Committee meeting at 8:30 p.m. Thursday, at city administrative offices, 9220 Bonita Beach Road, building B, suite 203.

Bonita resident Bob Hall wrote his concerns in an e-mail to Mayor Paul Pass, who is an avid motorcyclist and now works for Harley-Davidson Motorcycles in Naples.

“Certainly you must realize that when an event of this type occurs, families will avoid Bonita Springs like the plague. Bikefest is not the image that we want in Bonita Springs,” Hall wrote. Bonita resident Pat Mansfield opposes the plan, citing the gridlock it could create on U.S. 41, Bonita Beach Road and Interstate 75.

BIKERNET LOVE TAPS– What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.

–from CarlR

ROAD KING ADDENDUM–New oil cooler part number. In the Holiday P&A guide the P/N for the cooler are 62895-03 for chrome mount ($419.95) & 62817-03 ($399.95) for the silver mount.

The silver mount could be powder coated to match your black engine. Chrome suck’s especially for anything to do with the oil system!!!!!!

— Pablo

P.S. If your headed out to the Sunland (AZ) and have time, stop in Mesa and check out my buddy’s place. BLACKMAGIC MOTORSPORTS. His shop # is 480-668-6886, cell 602-524-3968. Worth a visit for sure. His name is John Hopkins Jr. Really good people with some great talent.

STREAMLINED FIX FOR FAT DYNA–Custom Valley MC?s done it again! The leader in wide tire conversions hasupped the ante with their all new BigFoot 240mm swingarm kit for 1991-upDynas.

Precision fitment is a hallmark of Custom Valley components, and the Dyna240?s no exception. Designed and engineered to maintain accurate alignment,the new kit takes stock frame modifications to a new dimension of customconversion.

Custom Valley?s kit, available with or without struts and fender, delivers atrue custom look for a fraction of the price for a ground up conversion.Most importantly, by maintaining original tracking geometry, handling,comfort, and reliability remain unaffected.

Manufacturing precision engineered wide conversions since 1996, CustomValley continues to lead the industry in innovative design and qualitycontent. Since his beginnings as a custom builder in the mid-?80?s, DenisDesRosiers recognized the early need for a geometrically sound conversion tosatisfy the demands of riders wanting the fat tire look. Dissatisfied withwhat he saw offered, DesRosiers designed a solution that didn?t sacrificehandling for appearance, and the results are easy to see in his conversionsthat look like they came from the factory.

Other Custom Valley BigFoot conversions are available for Softails andcustom hardtails. All come complete with mounting hardware, and can beordered with or without drivetrain extension components.

Dyna kit #10440-25, shown above for 2002 and up, comes complete with fenderstruts and transmission offset conversion.

Custom Valley Motorcycles
282 A St-Jacques N.
Causapscal (Quebec) Canada G0J 1J0
Wk: (418) 756-6417
e-mail: cusval@globetrotter.qc.ca
web site: www.customvalley.com

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEWS FROM SAMSON, V-RODS IN JEOPARDY, AUSTRALIAN GUN REPORT

Life is too exciting, too busy, to hetic and too demanding, yet we find a few minutes a day to have a drink and kick back. As she crawled on top of me this morning I was feeling stressed. We’ve got the King torn down and we’re waiting for extended cables from Barnetts to complete the beast so I can ride the sucker onto a dyno on Monday. Then we’ll begin the process of pouring more coal to the cylinders for additional power.

The bike needs to be running strong for a ride to Arizona next weekend. In the meantime, Nuttboy stopped by yesterday and we debated the handlebars on the Shrunken FXR. No conclusion was discovered so we moved calmly onto the final stage of the exhaust system. We rolled over to San Pedro Muffler for a couple of parts. The owner is absolutely a cool guy and modified a chunk of exhaust we had and sold us a tip. We’re making our own muffler with a baffle ripped out of an old Samson exhaust system. Let’s get to the news before I run on about a strange experience I had this week–jury duty:

BIKERNET INTERVIEWS THE GIRLS OF THE MOTORCYCLING DISCOVERY CHANNEL–Jose, the Caribbean Bikernet reports has submitted 14 question to two of the girls who rode across country with the Discovery Channel on their tails (so to speak).

KEEP YOUR GUNS ACCORDING TO BIKERNET AUSTRALIAN REPORT–from Ed Chenel, a police officer in Australia.

Hi Yanks, I thought you all would like to see the real figures from Down Under. It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by a new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by our own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars.

The first year results are now in: Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2 percent, Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6 percent; Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!

In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300 percent. (Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not and criminals still possess their guns!)

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since the criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed. There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the elderly.

Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in “successfully ridding Australian society of guns.” You won’t see this data on the American evening news or hear your governor or members of the state Assembly disseminating this information.

The Australian experience proves it. Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws affect only the law-abiding citizens. Take note Americans, before it’s to late!

–from Cindy

IS THE V-ROD TAKING SHOTS?– hot from the presses…Say goodbye to the V-Rod. Deep inside, secret information.There’s been a leak somewhere…. Let’s see what happens or is it a charade to boost sales on the lackluster, expensive V-Max’s brother…..

–Jose, chopperfreak@earthlink.net

SMOKE-OUT UPDATE– I think we have Ice Cream Man from Hell lined up for this years event. Also, Frank Kozik has greed to do a poster.

CLASS CYCLE TRAILER–DropTear trailer, a product of Wagtail, is a 2 person camper that converts into a bike hauler, or vise-versa. Styled after the tear drop trailers of days gone by, the DropTear uses independent air spring technology to put the deck of the trailer on the ground. Dump, Load, Inflate and Go.

All cabinetry and bedding folds out of the way to make room for your bike. Trailers are built to order with custom options with the idea of matching your tow vehicle and motorcycle. Hit the road with your rod and put your ride inside, with the DropTear trailer.

Call toll free 1 866 803-1836.

ENGLISH REPORTER INVESTIGATES EASYRIDERS–I was interviewed this morning by Gary Inman a reporter for BIKE magazine in the U.K. He asked me about the effort Easyriders made to break the world lands speed record. I was one of the proud members of the team that helped break the world lands speed record on Bonneville Salt Flat, at 321 mph in July of 1990.

Gary would like to speak to any of the 10,000 Easyriders readers who spent $25 to support the effort in lieu of corporate sponsors.

“As I mentioned, I’d really like a five minute chat with a biker who put some of their own hard-earned money into the Easyridersproject, even if it was a few dollars,” Gary said. “I need to speak to them in the nextweek, because I have a deadline.The article is going in Britain’s best-selling motorcycle magazine.They can e-mail me at gary@inmangb.com.”

Drop him a note if you were part of the readership team effort.

BIKERNET GUN FIGHT RULES–1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of yourfriends who have guns.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you’re probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.

5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on “pucker factor” than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

9.5 Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. “All skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket.”

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won’t work.

14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

16. Don’t drop your guard.

17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.

18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).

19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

23. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a “4.”

–from Jose De Miguel

NEW TIM REMUS BOOK FOR HAMSTER LOVERS–Yep, it’s a book full of Hamster customs shot in Sturgis, called the Best of Sturgis. No Billy Lane bikes in this book. Check it out at WolfgangPublications .com or CarTech Auto Books and Manuals.

SMOKE-OUT CHARITY INFO–We are still raising money for kids with asthma to attend Camp Air Care for Mike Pullin’s Run For Breath out of Charlotte. The HORSE, Backstreet Choppers is setting up a booth at the Easy Riders Bike Show in Charlotte, NC January 25th to sell raffle tickets for the chopper we built.

The price of the booth doubled when I mentioned your name and then started to drop as I talked about the kids. What’s up with that? Obviously another female in your path of devastation and destruction.

–Edge

That should be, “Obviously another female on my path to spiritual bliss.”

BIKERNET’S MOST IMPORTANT MEN IN A WOMAN’S LIFE– Who are the most important men in women’s’ life: The Doctor because he says take your clothes off. The Dentist because he says open wide. The Milkman because he says do you want it in front or back. The Hair Dresser because he says do you want it teased or blown. The Interior Designer because he says once it is in you will love it. The Banker because he says if you take it out too soon you’ll loose interest.

–from Chris T.

SAMSON’S BIG GUNS 2 “CANNONS” ARE SLASHING THE COMPETITION–You want pipes that will deliver High Performance and Sound that will clear those roads for you? These Bad and Beautiful pipes are the ones. SAMSON EXHAUST has done it again with the new Big Guns 2 “Slashers” with the tightest fitting 220-degree, full-coverage, heat shields anywhere. The Big Guns 2 “Cannons” are just one of the new, exciting and great series of pipes from the Big Guns 2 family that only SAMSON can guarantee with Awesome Style, Sound and Performance. All “Big Guns 2” come complete with mounting brackets and hardware.

MSRP for the Long Slashers are $431.95 and the Short Slashers are $410.95 for sales contact your local SAMSON dealer or contact SAMSON EXHAUST.

Please visit www.SamsonUSA.com for the ultimate internet experience.

Samson Motorcycle Products, Inc.
3818 E. Coronado St. Anaheim, CA 92807
(800) 373-4217
714-518-2480 BUS.
714-518-2466 FAX

BIKERNET GREAT NORTH WET REPORT–Wednesday………6:30 pm………full moon, but black as hell……….foggy. Wife is fast asleep on the couch. Got my sweats on………..The perfect time to sit on my butt and watch the tube……….Ahhhhhhh! chuuuuuccccckkkkkk………… I look………..nobody there……… CHUUuuukkk………. What’s that? CHUUuuukkk………..

Who’s there? “HEY, YOU!” Oh. It is the riding-beast. It’s calling………. “You have been ignoring me!” Hmmmm………..Why not………… I go downstairs. I pull on the black leather boots. Chaps. Vest. Jacket. I cry out………”Oh, God!’

Leather over sweats? No self respecting hog rider would get caught dead………..Guess I had better be careful. I go upstairs and shake wife awake…….sort of. The man speaks……”I’m going for a short ride.”

She responds………. “Mmmphfff.” Which I interpret as either “So?” or “You are an idiot.”

Oh, well. Down to the garage. Key………lights!……….it starts! (Of course it starts…….you dummy!) And for you readers….it doesn’t leak oil, either! So, there! Roll it outside. First gotta drain the tank………..not the Harley. Man, it is black out here! Black leathers, black helmet, fog………I’m ready! 3 minute warm-up is over and …………I am off!

Gotta watch the wet leaves on the corner at the bottom of the hill. If I can see them, that is. North on Hart Road to 93rd. Can’t see beyond my low beam. 93rd. There is Scott’s house. Looks kinda dark, probably sitting on his butt, watching the tube. Gotta let him know that real men (idiots) go out and ride in most challenging (dangerous) conditions. I turn onto 93rd and wind it out in first and second………there, that did it. By the time he picks up the broken glass, I will be long gone.

South on Case Road and I pick up a pickup. In front of me that is. We are up to the 50 mph speed limit. Fog. If this guy hits something, I should be able to brake down to 20 or so by the time I hit him. Ok. The target is in sight! (again) Scott Lake Grocery.

I unmount…….(Lee Marvin…….Paint Your Wagon. Hey, who said I wasn’t sophisticated?) “Two Lotto tickets, please” ……………………God, I wanna quit! Back on the riding-beast. North on Case Road. Fog. I can do about 30 until it thins and then back up to 50. Turn on 93rd to Hart Road. Wow! Lotsa leaves here. Man, they look slippery! The riding-beast tippy-toes (there’s a picture) through the leaves and then winds out in first and second again. (may not have gotten all the glassware)

The windshield is now totally opaque, need a wiper. Going up the hill is a real trick. Peering over the windshield, it is so black, I am not sure where the pavement edge is……… But then………I’m safe! Now to call up the lottery website………

Guess what! I’m a…………………..LOOSER!

The Seattle area author’s name is Chuck Meyer. He made the 2800 mile run to Sturgis with us last August. On apersonal note, he’s battling cancer for the 4th time in 20 years….. One tough dude. – Digital

NEW FROM AEROMACH BILLET MIRRORS–The ?Sidewinder? Series.A radical looking stem that can be combined with a selection of mirrors.

Extreme Oval Mirror on Sidewinder Arms

Large Oval mirrors on Sidewinder Arms

Try a radical look by adding a pair of hell fire mirrors. A must for bikes with flame paint.

The prices range from $211.80 a pair to 219.80 pair.

Aeromach Mfg
Contact 800 990-9392 or www.billetmirrors.com

BIKERS RAISE MONEY FOR SHRINERS BURN CENTER–PAUL CATALA pcatala@hernandotoday.com.

BROOKSVILLE – Dressed in their leather jackets, bearing an array of tattoos on various body parts and blasting their tailpipes into the parking lot, the Warlocks weren’t the type of visitors most people would expect to see at a Shrine club. But the Florida Department of Law Enforcement did.

Saturday, the Warlocks, a Florida-based Harley-Davidson motorcycle group made up of 10 clubs, held their first-annual “West Coast Charity Biker Blow-out” at the Hernando County Shrine Club, 13400 Montour St.

Around 4 p.m., the motorcyclists started motoring in, planning on spending a day with some beer, food and music, with proceeds from sales going to the Tampa Shriners Children’s Hospital burn center.

But joining in on the festivities were officers with the Hernando County Sheriff’s Department, the Florida Highway Patrol and the FDLE. While Warlocks were inside the Shrine hall, having snacks, listening to a Cocoa Beach-based rock band and sucking down some suds, sheriff’s and highway patrol cars were parked along parts of Sunshine Grove Road.

DuPree, 46, said about three weeks ago, sheriff’s detectives tried to keep the Warlocks from holding another fund-raiser in Brooksville. He said his club has raised about $15,000 for area charities over the past year and hoped to raise at least $3,000 Saturday. Cyclists attending the benefit each gave a $10 donation to attend.

“They’re trying to harass and shut us down. They’re uninformed and think that we’re trouble,” he said. “They need to realize there’s a lot of riders here and they’re a lot of voters.”

“We’ll be here anyway. A lot of us here are upset. They’re (law enforcement) coming here just in spite,” he said. “This is an intelligence gathering mission,” is all an FDLE official, who wouldn’t give his name, said as he stood in the dirt lot. The Warlocks raised $2,300 plus they have about $700 worth of T-shirts left to sell, according to DuPree.

Continued On Page 2

THE BILL BISH RIGHTS REPORT–MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE MAY CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

Antique flicks courtesy of Bob T.

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE, or visit us on the web at .

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS
Compiled and Edited by BILL BISH,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists

BIKER WINS VOTING RIGHTS FOR PRISONERS The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that prisoners have the right to vote in elections. The challenge to the law was launched by Richard Sauve, a one-time motorcycle club member from Ontario who was sentenced to life in prison for murder.

He has since won parole, earned a university degree and has continued to campaign for voting rights for those who remain in prison.

By a 5-4 margin, the high court concluded Thursday that the federal government had failed to demonstrate any overriding social objective that could justify such an infringement of the Charter of Rights.

At issue was a section of the Canada Elections Act, passed in 1993, that denied prisoners serving terms of two years or more the right to vote in federal elections.

The ruling doesn’t guarantee that federal prisoners will ever actually get to vote because Parliament could pass a new law before the next election — although it’s not clear how much room the government has to maneuver.

POLICE HARASS CONFEDERATION MEMBERS Although the Eastern Pennsylvania Confederation of Clubs has met at the VFW Post in Darby for two years without incident or any problems with the neighbors or the police, and no breach of the peace has occurred during that time, beginning with their June COC meeting the local police began a pattern of harassment by taking down the license tag numbers of all the bikes in the parking lot.

Then at the August 22, 2002 meeting, Darby police gave parking tickets for every conceivable violation while the meeting was in progress, including some parked on private property with the permission of the owner. After the meeting, they, with the help of law enforcement officers from about four other local townships and some federal agents, stopped every biker who left the meeting as soon as they started to ride away, held some for extended periods of time, and interrogated them as they were extensively photographed and unlawfully searched.

According to reports, the apparent architect of the police action was the Chief of Police of Darby Borough, Robert F. Smythe, who stated outside of the VFW that he did not want “bikers” in his town, and would enforce the rules so that they would no longer meet in Darby Borough.

Many of the bikers were told by officers that certain club’s members were not to return to Darby. This is a clear violation of First Amendment rights to assemble and of association. Two bikes were impounded for high handlebars and one pickup truck was held for a day for lack of proof of insurance.

Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) Attorney Boyd Spencer has filed a Civil Rights Complaint in the U.S. Eastern District Court for the District of Pennsylvania, requesting declaratory and injunctive relief to prevent further actions by the defendants (Police Chief Smythe, the Darby Borough PD, and 25 other officers), and for monetary damages for their actions.

The suit (02-CV-7707), which will be heard by the Honorable Judge Marvin Katz, alleges unconstitutional actions by the law enforcement officers, and further describes violations of the bikers rights protected under the First, Fourth, and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution.

“It has become evident that Defendants, and particularly Defendant, Robert F. Smythe, have developed and continued to engage in a pattern and practice of harassment, profiling, and selective enforcement intended to interfere with Plaintiff’s constitutionally protected rights to freedom of association, freedom of assembly, freedom from unreasonable searches and seizures, due process of law, and equal protection under the law,” states the lawsuit.

Stay tuned for further developments.

MASSACHUSETTS MOTORCYCLISTS QUESTION INSURANCE DISCREPANCIES A motorcyclists’ group has hailed new support from the auto-insurers industry as a major step toward ensuring motorcycle owners get fair access to coverage options, reported the Boston Herald in their October 22 Business News section.

The Massachusetts Motorcycle Association claims that insurance policies in the state have for years unfairly treated motorcyclists differently than car drivers, and sent advocates to participate in the insurance industry?s annual rate hearings to voice their concerns.

On August 22, 2002, Betsy Lister and Paul Cote appeared and testified at the rate hearings, and distributed written submissions prepared by the MMA requesting that the Insurance Commissioner investigate “unfair, discriminatory, excessive pricing, and violations of public policy involving motorcycle coverages and rates.”

Consequently, the auto insurers agreed recently with several key proposals that the motorcyclists’ group sought, though the final decision still rests with state Division of Insurance Commissioner Julie Bowler.

Paul Cote, a spokesman for the bikers’ group, said the insurers’ support bodes well for a favorable decision from Bowler. “It’s a major breakthrough,” he said. “We’re grateful that they see the inequities and are taking steps to address those inequities.”

In an October 17 letter to Bowler, a lawyer for the Automobile Insurers Bureau of Massachusetts wrote that the group supports the following reforms:

Giving discounts to motorcyclists who install certain kinds of anti-theft devices, namely vehicle-tracking equipment. Currently, they don’t receive any discount.

Allowing motorcycle riders to buy vehicle insurance with up to $25,000 in optional medical coverage. Currently, such policies can cover up to $5,000 in medical costs for bikers, while auto owners can buy coverage with a limit of $100,000.

Allowing motorcyclists to have their premiums based on appraised values of their bikes instead of book values. Car owners already have that option.

The motorcyclists also want to extend multi-vehicle discounts to bikes, similar to car owners, but the insurers didn’t offer support for that change.

Chris Goetcheus, a Division of Insurance spokesman, said Bowler was receptive to the motorcyclists’ concerns, and will likely issue a decision within the next few weeks.

BIKERS BOYCOTT MYRTLE BEACH During the early morning hours of May 18, 2002 a couple riding a motorcycle were killed at the Myrtle Beach Spring Bike Rally when Lance Cpl. James J. Costello proceeded through a yield sign and collided with them in his unmarked Horry County Police cruiser.

Just prior to the Fall Motorcycle Rally, Horry County Solicitor Greg Hebree decided not to charge the 15-year veteran in the deaths of the two motorcyclists, Victoria Lee Zickafoose of Georgia and Charles Eugene Heyde Sr. of Michigan.

“For many years the local government and police force have been far less than biker friendly,” according to a press release by the Sons of Liberty Riders, a motorcyclists rights organization that rides the information super-highway as an Internet discussion group. “However, the latest incident and failure to bring appropriate charges has motivated bikers to take action.”

SoLR has called for a boycott of Myrtle Beach, and bikers from across the country are now supporting the boycott action, including ABATE of South Carolina where the Myrtle Beach rallies are held. “The purpose of the boycott is to educate the general public on some of the injustices served on only some classes of citizens, while bringing economic woe on those that promote the injustices,” says the SoLR. “Horry County had the opportunity to prosecute the guilty and failed.”

Police investigators insist that there is not enough evidence to support charges or disciplinary action, and an article in The Sun News suggests that, “Grand Strand officials say they aren’t worried about motorcyclists’ plans to boycott the Myrtle Beach area,” and hope that their effort will fizzle as memories fade prior to the spring Harley-Davidson rally.

But bikers from as far away as Maryland, Pennsylvania and Iowa are upset about the way the two motorcyclists’ deaths were handled during this year’s May rally, the paper stated.

“Through the power of the Internet e-mail system, I was informed of this tragedy,” Mary Bowen-Brown of Mechanicsville, Maryland, told The Sun News. “Once the e-mails are forwarded and contacts are made through different bike organizations, you can believe there will be thousands of bikers making their decisions not to return to Myrtle Beach this spring.”

The Carolina Harley-Davidson Dealers Association Myrtle Beach Rally is scheduled for May 9-18. 2003.

Stephanie Durham of Jacksonville, Florida, Zickafoose’s sister, doesn’t ride a motorcycle but is planning on coming to the May rally. “[I want to] basically express my discontent with the way things were handled,” she said. “I want it to be known that this happened and this is not going to be covered up or forgotten about.”

FLORIDA CONSIDERS MOTORCYCLE RESCUES Rescue workers are hoping a motorcycle fleet will help them save lives on Florida’s highways. Under a proposed program, Miami-Dade County firefighters would respond to emergencies on specially designed motorcycles, navigating through gridlock to accidents before other emergency vehicles arrive.

All county firefighters are trained as Emergency Medical Technicians and would have access to defibrillators, oxygen tanks and first aid kits.

“Here in (Miami) Dade County, traffic is a nightmare. There’s a lot of construction. Often when there’s an accident, it’s difficult for emergency vehicles to get to the people,” fire department spokeswoman Shari Holbert Lipner told the Associated Press (AP). “This is another way to get to citizens faster.”

The motorcycle officers would handle minor injuries when larger units must focus on more critical situations, Lipner said.

Such programs exist in Europe, but there are none of similar scale in the United States, Lipner said. The Daytona Beach fire department has a program with four motorcycles that’s used mainly on special events, such as Bike Week.

BMW has offered to donate 10 model 1100 RT-P emergency rescue motorcycles, which the firefighters would ride in pairs — reminiscent of the late 1970s TV show “Chips.”

The Miami-Dade County Commission will consider approval of the program in November, and the fire rescue bikes could be on the road by fall next year.

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH: JUST YOUR AVERAGE JOE The average driver emits more than 912 pints of gas (farts) inside a car during his or her lifetime. This strange factoid, and others, was revealed by BBC Top Gear magazine in a list of statistics profiling the average driver.

The survey also found the average driver will have sex in a car six times in their lives. They will spend around two hours and 14 minutes kissing in their vehicles, researchers found. Mr. or Mrs. Average will swear or blaspheme 32,025 times behind the wheel. And peckish motorists each munch through about 21 lbs of chocolate as they trundle along. They will also nod off at the wheel 11 times and jump 181 red lights. The average driver will also honk the horn 15,250 times in a lifetime and be locked out of their car nine times.

Mr. or Ms. average driver believes their driving is better than 87% of other drivers and they pay attention to only 35% of road signs. In a lifetime of journeys, the average woman driver will throw two-thirds of her body weight out of the window as rubbish or other matter, while men will throw their entire body weight out.

No statistics were issued regarding motorcycle operators.

QUOTABLE QUOTES: “It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.”Francois Marie Arouet (aka: Voltaire), French Author and Philosopher (1694 – 1778)

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–VINCENTS ARE BACK

We survived the Love Ride once again as we split lanes for 70 miles cutting a bloody swath through the notorious Los Angeles basin in an effort to support the 19th charity endeavor. The day was perfect, the traffic jammed as bikers scare motorists onto their brake pedals constantly after a couple of days of solid unheard of So Cal rain.

It was good to see some of the brothers, builders including Jesse Rooke (the new hot builder from Phoenix. His bike is on the cover of Hot Bike currently), some Hamsters and Jesse’s Discovery Channel creations at his No Love party.

The day before we braved the slick rain-soaked streets to hook up with Chica as he tried to build a modified shovel crammed into an old VL frame with a matching VL front end. He’s a craftsman and just hangin at his shop made me want to run back to the garage at the headquarters and spend the weekend working on the shrunken FXR. Damn he’s good. Let’s hit the news:

HARLEY-DAVIDSON SEEKS ALTERNATE LOCATION FOR MUSEUM–Milwaukee, WI. (November 1, 2002) — Citing escalating costs, Harley-Davidson officials today announced that the Company is seeking an alternate location for its planned museum project.

“Harley-Davidson, the Brewery Works and Grunau Project Development have been relentless in their efforts to adapt the historic Schlitz Brewhouse to the museum’s needs, but at this point we feel we have exhausted our options with that building,” said Matt Levatich, Director of the Museum. “Harley-Davidson remains committed to building a world-class museum destination and we would prefer to build it in Milwaukee. We will be considering other options at Schlitz Park as well as alternate locations in downtown Milwaukee and the surrounding area,” he said.

Work on the museum began in earnest in April of 1999 with an expected completion date of May, 2002. Detailed plans were developed to transform the Brewhouse and the surrounding land into a one-of-a-kind destination. However, the combined requirements of physically accommodating the expected 350,000 visitors annually, preserving the historical integrity of the building, and conforming to building code requirements proved to be too costly.

Late last year, the Company reported that the museum would not be ready – as originally planned – for its 100th Anniversary next year. Continuing efforts by Harley-Davidson, its architects, and Grunau Project Development have not been successful in finding a viable solution for this building.

I say we donate space in the Bikernet Ivory Tower for the H-D Museum. I’d be honored to have it here.

HIGHSCHOOL THEN AND NOW– One of our brothers sent the above sweet photograph of High School beauties “Then” and another of one them “Now”. The “Now” shot was too tough to post. Believe me the women in that shot were, how do you say, bad news. Let me know , if I have to post it?

BIKERNET INTRODUCES SEVERAL NEW SPONSORS—Including Performance Machine. Were proud to have the best of the best on Bikernet. We’ve known Perry and Ted Sands for decades and actually, my redheaded adopted daughter, Faith, has worked for Performance Machine since she was a kid. They’re good people and make the best wheels and brakes in the business.

Another new sponsor is Surgical Steeds by John Covington in Phoenix, the builder of the only line of Muscle Bikes in the country. Check his site for more informantion. We’ll be posting articles on both companies on a regular basis. That’s our job, goddamnit, bringing the lasted products and parts to you quick.

ENGINE DEALS OF THE WEEK– Here is the latest list of deals I have available:

Several TP Engineering 124″ Polished complete assembled motors. These happen to have the new billet rocker box design as well, very cool. They retail for near $10,000, selling them for $7000.

Tell Jose I can put some shit on a boat and send some his way too, no sweat!

Also great deals on 88″-121″ motors as well. Would like to maybe get a banner up on this kick ass site sometime soon, we’ll see how things shape up here at the shop…

Anyone, feel free to call me anytime, 812-569-4876. Thanks for your time…and space…

FOUR CYLINDER MOTORCYCLE HISTORY–We’re about to publish the history of the four cylinder motorcycle and info on the Richard Bunch Motorcycle Museum. But it wouldn’t be complete without a mention of the following four cylinder effort in Europe:Indians are our tradition. We are dedicated to producing a new Indian to truly fulfil the public’s naturally high expectations. We combine respect for the historical perspective, whilst applying a detailed understanding of the essence of the older Indian machines, so pivotal to the introduction of a new Indian.

Our new machines are made to order and available ex-works. There is a waiting list. By concentrating on quality, not quantity, our production is a modest quantity of motorcycles, with increasing figures as the years progress.

By carefully attending to our product and customers, we intend to be around for the long run, increasing production as prudent. The UK indian company, has been deeply involved in such activities as making parts, organising ‘Indian gatherings’, recreating and restoring older Indians, supplying enthusiasts around the globe since the 1970’s. we are proud to say our company is able to service ANY Indian from 1901-53 in addition to our new Indian Dakota 4.

BIKERS PARADE THROUGH CITY FOR VETS–By CINDY SWIRKOSun staff writer.

Billy Powell of Orange Springs attaches an American flag and a POW MIA flag to his motorcycle before the start of Bikers on Parade at Santa Fe Community College Sunday. The parade benefitted the Red Cross and was a part of the Veterans Day celebration.

All money raised from the entry fee benefits the Red Cross. Executive Director George Mazzeo said the event earns up to 15 percent of the agency’s budget.”All this money – $10 per rider – will be spent locally, primarily to alleviate the victims of family disasters such as house fires,” Mazzeo said. “We had 80 of those cases last year and we are running above that this year. This is the key event for us.”

SAMSON’S BIG GUNS 2 “SLASHERS” ARE SLASHING THE COMPETITION–You want pipes that will deliver High Performance and Sound that will clear those roads for you? These Bad and Beautiful pipes are the ones. SAMSON EXHAUST has done it again with the new Big Guns 2 “Slashers” with the tightest fitting 220? full coverage heat shields anywhere. The Big Guns 2 “Slashers” are just one of the new, exciting and great series of pipes from the Big Guns 2 family that only SAMSON can guarantee with Awesome Style, Sound and Performance. All ?Big Guns 2? come complete with mounting brackets and hardware.

MSRP for the Long Slashers are $399.95 and the Short Slashers are $379.95 for sales contact your local SAMSON dealer or contact SAMSON EXHAUST.

Please visit www.SamsonUSA.com for the ultimate internet experience.

Samson Motorcycle Products, Inc.
3818 E. Coronado St. Anaheim, CA 92807
(800) 373-4217

HANG UP AND HAVE A DRINK–Tests by Britain’s Transport Research Laboratory found that talking on acellphone while driving is “more dangerous than being drunk behind the wheel.”Driver reaction times for users of hand-held phones averaged 30 percentslowerthan for those driving just above the legal acohol limit.

*HANG UP, DUTCH BOY!In Cujik, Holland, a driver was so engrossed in his cell phone call hedidn’t see apolice car trying to pull him over until he crashed into it.

*HANG UP, SOCCER BOY!A Romanian soccer player was tossed from a national game, when, about tocross the ball, he stopped to answer his cell phone and then continued totalkfor the next five minutes.

*HANG UP, DOOFUS!Autoweek reports hearing a woman on a ferry arriving at Anacortes, Wash., asshe answered her cell phone: “Could you please call me back at this numberinabout 15 minutes? I’ll be on the road by then, and I’ll be able to give youmyfull attention.”

*HANG UP, SPARKY!News headline: “Man Talking on Cell Phone Struck by Lightning”

*HANG UP OR DIE!At an accident scene in Bloomington, Ill., paramedics had to ask a victimpinnedin her vehicle to please quit talking on her cell phone for a moment as itwasimpeding their efforts to free her.

*GOD HERE: HANG UP, STUPID!A Spanish priest fed up with mobile phones ringing during Mass has installedan elec-tronic jammer in church.

POLICE PUT A DAMPER ON BIKERS’ TOY RIDE, AN OFFICIAL SAID THAT PUBLIC SAFETY WAS A KEY ISSUE–By Dan HardyInquirer Staff Writer.Each fall for the last four years, thousands of motorcycle riders have driven their bikes through eastern Delaware County in a festive event organized by the nonprofit Bikers Against Child Abuse Inc. to raise money and collect toys for abused and neglected children.

The group, which has its national office in Delaware County, has been honored for its efforts in the past and has attracted wide support. U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon (R., Pa.) was the grand marshal for yesterday’s ride.

Yesterday, however, bikers gathering in Darby Borough at 10 a.m. were greeted with heavy police presence. About 135 officers who had been called in from more than half a dozen municipalities inspected each motorcycle for motor-vehicle code violations before the ride could proceed – something they had not done before previous rides. Neither police nor the bikers would say how many citations had been issued yesterday.

As a result, the ride’s organizers said, the turnout was much smaller, with many bikers turning around and going home before the parade even began. “We definitely lost money today,” said Mike Gambale, the president of Bikers Against Child Abuse.

Gambale, an Upper Darby resident and former Delaware County park policeman and East Lansdowne Borough police officer, said the event usually drew about 7,000 bikers, raised about $7,500, and collected thousands of toys. There was no estimate for yesterday’s results.

On Thursday, the Warlocks motorcycle club won an agreement with Philadelphia police in federal court that gave members the right to ride through the city to yesterday’s parade.

The Warlocks had said that club members participating in a Toys for Tots run to Children’s Hospital on Nov. 3 were surrounded by Philadelphia police and prohibited from participating in the ride. The agreement said that police “shall not impede plaintiff’s procession unless they have reasonable suspicion or probable cause to believe that one or more plaintiffs are in violation of the law.”

Darby Borough Police Chief Robert Smythe, standing across the street from the Knights of Columbus hall yesterday, said that the police presence in Delaware County had nothing to do with the Philadelphia injunction. The officers were there, he said, because “we had intelligence that there very well might be a problem between some of the outlaw biker gangs” that were planning to ride in the parade. When asked whether he was referring to the Warlocks or the Pagans, another group often labeled an “outlaw gang,” Smythe did not answer.

Continued On Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CALENDARS RELEASED, OLD SHIT AND WARLOCKS SUE THE COPS

Continued From Page 3

FASTDATES.COM NEW CALENDARS RELEASED–

FastDates.com Calendars, Models and Bikes featured atCycle World International Motorcycle Show in Long Beach Dec 6-8thJoin Us Dec 6-8th, 2002 At the Long Beach ShowThe exiting FastDates.com Calendars, the Bikes and Models will be amajor feature attraction at the Cycle World International MotorcycleShow in Long Beach the December 6-8th weekend. Meet photographer andproducer Jim Gianatsis, beautiful calendar models Chandi Mason, JanellePerzina and Joanna Krupa. See top calendar bikes from premier custombuilder Paul Yaffe, LA Calendar Bike Show winner Jesse Rooke,Performance Machine, AMA National roadracing Champions Graves YamahaMotorsports and EBSCO Corona Extra Suzuki in our showcase display at theCycle World International Motorcycle Show at the Long Beach ConventionCenter. Pick up the new 2004 FastDates.com Calendars and have thempersonally autographed! Details athttp://www.FastDates.com/PitLaneNews.HTM

Miss World Norway shoots with FastDates.comIn our never ending quest to travel the world to bring you, our loyalFastDates.com Calendar fans, the most beautiful models for ourcalendars, we were excited to shoot this week with Miss World Norway,Antoinette Haukaas for our 2004 calendars. We photographed her with somehot new custom bikes from premier custom builder Harold Pontarelli.Anette (as she likes all her close friends to call her) first came toAmerica as a 16-year old exchange student, then returned home after ayear to Denmark to finish her education while winning both the MissWorld Norway title and the Elite Model Search pageant for Norway. Fromthere Anette was off on a world model career that took her to thefashion runways of Milan, Monte Carlo, Cannes and Paris. But Anette knewher career would still be incomplete unless she appeared in the worldrevered FastDates.com Motorcycle Racing and Pinup Calendars, and ofcourse, we were happy to make her dreams complete. Anette joins MissWorld Great Britain Nicki Lane, our SBK FastDates/Ducati Corse umbrellagirl as just some of the World Class talent featured in theFastDates.com Calendars.For a sexy shot of Anette go to http://www.FastDates.com/PitLaneNews.HTM

Joanna Krupa shots with Best of LA Calendar Bike Showwinner Jesse Rooke for the 2004 iron & Lace CalendarOne of our hottest, sexiest and most beautiful calendar girl finds everis Joanna Krupa, recently highlighted with a 4-page feature interviewand pictorial in the October issue of Gear magazine. Born in Warsaw,Poland and emigrated to Chicago as a child with her parents, Joanna isnow persuing her career in Hollywood as a television and movie starlet.You can find her regularly in the Venus Swimwear and Frederick’s ofHollywood Catalogs, and as “Juggy Joanna” on The Man Show. You’ll seemore of Joanna in our future 2004 FastDates.com Calendars including ashoot for the Iron & Lace Calendar sponsored by Mikuni American andPerformance Machine that we just completed with builder Jesse Rooke’sradical LA Calendar Bike Show winning mono fork chopper. You can meetJoanna and Jesse in person in our FastDates.com Calendar showcaseexhibit at the Cycle World International Motorcycle Show at the LongBeach Convention Center Long Beach, CA, Dec 6-8th. Foe more informationand pictures of Joanne with Jesse’s awesome custom go tohttp://www.FastDates.com/IRONLACE02.HTM

Iron Works magazine, Bikernet.com, Performance Machine,Corona, Cycle Trader, Cycle Buyer/LA Times, FastDates.comconfirm multi-year associate sponsorship of the 2003and future Los Angeles Calender Motorcycle ShowsWe are happy to announce that the good folks at Iron Works magazinespearheaded by editorial director Marilyn Stemp have joining us as multiyear associate sponsors of our LA Calendar Motorcycle Show beginning in2003, joining our many other loyal associate sponsors includingPerformance Machine, BikerNet.com, Corona beer, Cycle Trader and CycleBuys//The Los Angeles Times. No other bike show in America offers somuch media and promotional support, and of course value, for itsExhibitors and Venders. In turn we would like to ask our Show Exhibitorsto please consider Iron Works Magazine, as well as and our otherssponsors in your future advertising plans. You can visit the Iron Workswebsite athttp://www.ironworksmag.com

We’ve got all kinds of new activities scheduled for the 2003 LA CalendarMotorcycle Showincluding a possible Charity Ride In, a Supermotard Race and increasedVender space in the Queen Mary parking lot. Our previous parking spaceproblems will be reduced by the all new Queen Mary Parking Structure nowbeing completed at the facility, and the relocation of the CatalinaIsland Ferry car parking to another location. Still, we alwaysanticipate selling out of exhibitor space so we suggestVenders/Exhibitors sign up early with the new 2003 ExhibitorRegistration Form available now on our website athttp://www.FastDates.com./BIKESHOW.HTM

Best wishes!
Jim Gianatsis, Director
FastDates.com

THE BIKERNET SEARCH FOR OLD MEMORBILIA AND BIKES CONTINUES–Our growing archive of rare memorbilia continues to grow in Bandit’s Cantina due predominately to the efforts of a biker Bandit rode with in the early ’70s who live in a rusting ’59 Cadillac deep in the California desert. He spends all his time and money searching garage sales, estate sales and swap meets hunting for old motorcycle memorabilia and Peashooter parts for our latest restoration project.

Bob rides a Softail and makes a meager living herding tarantulas away from tourist RV parks. Not much coin in that gig. Here’s what he said about the above piece, “It had Signal Corps – U. S. ARMY – No. 35 – printed on the Motorcycle’s Cover Plate. Send me a fifty pound bag of Pinto beans and a bag or red onions, will ya?”

OZARK ED REPORT–just like i said, I didn’t go to Memphis. However, I did give in to the juvee girl and agreed to go out with her Saturday night. She called me and talked me into skipping the party, So I told the ones going to the party that I wasn’t coming, and I told the ones who were not going that I was.

It got real hairy for a while just before I left the house because my girl was still pissed at me about the whole ditching her thing. She was asking me all this shit about who I was going with and all. I told her I was going with skitzo, but just before I left he called and wanted me to go to another party with him. I had to talk low and make up some shit about going out with my boss man. Right after I hung the phone up with him, bald headed Patrick came over with his fluffy chick and wanted me and my girl to go riding.

I took him outside and told him some shit about my bike battery being dead, and I couldn’t run a headlight because it wasn’t charging. Then after they left, my girl saw me tie two jackets on the bike and she threw a fit about who the second jacket was for. I made up some shit about wearing the small one under my big one. She didn’t believe it, but she let it go after she confiscated the second jacket.

I finally made it out and me and juvee girl went to the lake and got unbelievably drunk. I took her on a tour of all my little burn locations. Most are up in the hills looking down on the city and river. It was a clear cold night so I would drink a little then get that cold night air in my face to sober up for the next spot. I finally went home at 2 or 3.

Sunday my girl was cold to me so I worked on my Shovel in the shop while the race was on and just stayed clear of her. Later she asked how was the party, and I told her I didn’t make it to the one where she knew people, but instead I went to another party with people she’s only heard of. She called me on the story, and after a few hours I told her that no matter if she believed me or not I was sticking to this story. She knows it ain’t true, but she’s stopped asking. If I could just get the two of them to “like each other”.

–Ozark Ed

Ain’t that always the problem.

NEW 100TH ANNIVERSARY V-ROD HAT–Hello Mr. Bandit,I’m sending you a picture of Mike taken this weekend at the CBA swap meet in Charlotte. Who said the V-Rod wouldn’t come in handy some day!!!

Love and kisses,
Meanest

BIKE THEIVES SELECT WRONG SCOOTER– Harleys aren’t the only bikes to get ripped off. The irony here is a couple ona world bike tour for charity had their “Beemer” snatched just a few miles fromcompletion of their journey around the world. They stopped for a breather in Wales, justshort of London. They hadda finish the trip by train. I guess the thief or thievesneeded the scoot more than they did. It’s a bloody shame we have some kinds of peoplerunnin’ loose.

–Gunny Sack

For more on Bikers Rights check the Rights News on Bikernet.

WARLOCKS MC SUE PHILLY POLICE–By MARYCLAIRE DALE The Associated Press.PHILADELPHIA (AP) – Members of the Warlocks Motorcycle Club are suing the police for allegedly barring the club at a benefit rally in which bikers delivered toys to a children’s hospital.

According to the lawsuit, SWAT team members toting M-16 rifles and canisters of Mace surrounded the Warlock riders Nov. 3, demanding they take off their jackets, which sport their club’s colors.

The suit, filed by members of the Philadelphia chapter of the motorcycle club, also charges that police commissioner Sylvester Johnson arrived at the rally and told his men to have the Warlocks removed.

The agreement was forged during a brief conference before U.S. District Judge Stewart Dalzell on Thursday, when the Warlocks asked for a temporary restraining order. The city agreed not to interfere with any law-abiding Warlocks participating in the event.

The Warlocks, in their suit, say they have taken part in such benefit rides for the past 15 years.

–from Rogue

NEW BIKER NOVEL AVAILABLE–Hey ya’ll Roy Yelverton here, checkin’ up on my novel; “Shovelhead Red; TheDrifter’s Way”. Christmas is coming, and I NEED help sellin’ thesebooks while the time is at hand. Get back to me soon as ya can, let’s make some ofthese books disappear. Thanks a biker bundle…..

–Uncle Roy

WINO JOE REPORT, IFFIN YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT–Hey Wiz, I ain’t got tha graphics on this one clear in my head, but at 3AM there ain’t much in my f…in’head that is clear any way:) So, let me just shoot from tha hip, while I wait for my clothes ta dry. Biker”HOURS”: 12AM. Time ta get off tha street & find’a place ta crash; before you do. And cop’a cup. Find’a backyard for your sleepin’bag, or if it’s rainin’, a garage. 2AM. ’bout now, a fat girl’s bed looks just right. 3AM. Tha wood-pile in’a vacant-lot, but don’t get caught. 6AM. That’sa ’nuff sleep; plus tha cops are out. I told ya tha fat gal was tha best bet; they cook good, tambien. Hit coffee time. Bars are open. My ol’fave for breakfast, vodak fizz; a “double”, 2 shoots/2 eggs. Shit, you’re goin’a die anyway. A hi-class Okie might go for’a Jack/seltzer/Angostura bitters and just’a splash of coke, if he was on’a diet. What’s his name would’a just smoked one, before rollin’up his sleepin’bag & headed ta IHOPs. 9AM. If ya got lucky, pick tha hairs out’a your teeth & tell her you’ll send her’a post-card. Startin’ta burn daylite. Get your first 100 miles down tha road. 11AM. Avoid tha noon lunch rush. 2 burgers. Get your carbs/fat energy for tha next 100 miles. 2PM. Gas/splash. This is just for fun, you’re almost home. Why? 250/300 miles/day is kool. That’sa 1000 miles in 4 days. Do a 1000/week & that’sa good tour. Plus, it gives ya Fri/Sat/Sun ta party with that locals. Tell your stories & dance with tha fat girl; remember, they know how ta cook! Now, hit tha bricks; keep tha rubber-side down:)

Ride On!
Wino Joe,USA

Joe we’re riding to Arizona the first weekend in December. Wind ’em up.

BUCK’S PRINTS–Here ye be Laddie. I’ll behaving a Knucklehead, UL, Shovelhead, KR, Sportster, and VL print availableover the next year (American V-Motor Series).

Buck

VINCENT BLACK SHADOW RETURNS– Ever hear of the famed Vincent Black Shadow? Well, it’s backfolks. Some of us “long in the tooth” folks got to ride them way back in the forties andearly fifties. Unfortunately, they went out of business in the mid-fifties. This bikeset land speed records in the late forties. Now, I’m told, they are back with FIVE,count’m, FIVE prototype models. More info for ya when I find out more.

–Gunny Sack

TIME OUT–I’m scribbling on an editorial for Cruising Rider, hammering on a tech feature on the Amazing Shrunken FXR and doing research on the history of four cylinder motorcycles. That’s enough. Oh, I skipped the big one. We received the final saga and images from Frank Kaisler to complete the vast Biketoberfest report. I hopefully will be able to complete it tomorrow.

The above shot is just an indication of some of the girls roaming Bandit’s Cantina and the reason I try to make deadlines. When I’m with her, I don’t want a damn thing on my mind but her scent. Are you with me on this one? Life is to short to drink cheap wine or not enjoy your favorite whiskey and the touch of a woman. That’s it, shut down your computer and go find her. Let’s ride.

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–JOSE SURVIVES LOVE RIDE 2002

Continued From Page 2

Jose had to see every H-D dealership in the Los Angeles region. He bought so much memorbilia that he was awarded the above preferred customer card.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Hamsters at Love RideAs everyone knows I just spent the week end under the tutelage of Bikernet’s tycoon, Bandit, his plans were to make me suffer, so he called for rain, cold weather, a dresser to ride and the mysterious disappearance of his harem, but like the loco postman says, nor rain, nor , whatever…or something like that. Nothing will put me down, the dice were rolling…

Not even the jet lag, nor the hours difference would interfere with the master plan of total domination of the headquarters, the promises of a new Porsche went up in smoke when Bandit with his sickening sense of humour traded the racy car for a stinking fleet of “company” full dressers. I was waiting for a false move, and that cool ass knuckle would have been out of that door faster than you can say..gone…I quickly walked towards the Bikernet garage to ” borrow” the dual carbed Pan, but the old man was sly, he pulled some wires and made the oil light turn red. I did not want to chance it so I backed off, tell you the truth, I would have rather walked all the way to Castaic lake than ride one of those damn dressers….and that’s almost what I had to do. I awaited patiently while the sly mofo sipped his Jack, I was not defeated yet. Meanwhile the cold rain kept falling, and the farenheits kept dropping. Then in the gloomiest of hours I had my first encounter with my nemesis….yeap, the Road Kill. But wait, that was only in the first few hours..there’s more to come.

The following day (Friday) we ended up at Chicas shop in Huntington Beach, it was my revenge, after an overdose of factory bikes we landed in the Mecca of Old School choppers. The shop was full of Panheads, Shovels, Flatties and Knuckles…Haaalleeluyahh !! The Peanut tanks, springers and girders, plus many cool ass Invader wheels commanded the grounds. I soaked it all in, it was like a huge playground for chopper and old school fanatics. After a short tour, Bandit decided to leave (I assume that he wanted to torture me with the Dressers some more). So we headed out for a quick lunch and ready our wet asses for the party/concert at BB Kings in Universal studios, but before we went over by Nuttboy’s playground to cross check some of the progress on the Shrunken FXR and a heavy dose of reality, but I will explain about the card later.

To cement his plans Bandit had us meet with some Hamster friends of his, a situation that had the potential of turning ugly, and of a few rodents getting squished by my Vans, turned into a very pleasant evening. It was one of those reality checks that I will also talk about later. Bandit being the old geiser that he, wanted to leave early, before the party really started and I had a chance to play a bit with the cute waitress or any other hottie that showed up.

By this time Layla was at his side and convinced him to go and hang out at some hot spots in Long Beach… It was still raining in LA, and the night was not happening, we (Bandit) decided to call it a night (which was like 5:00 am to me) and rest for Saturday’s activities. I decided to go hide in my cave and disappear under the comforter.

Saturday morning called for the No Love Party, Jesse James and his crew at WCC get this party together, cool cars, the Wall of Death, all the Monster Garage stuff, and even some choppers managed to be there, it was really crowded and raining, so in less than a few minutes Bandit was missing, I did not notice right away since there was so much stuff going on, and so much to soak in (besides the frigid rain), when I finally was able to part the sea of admirers, I got to talk to Jesse and meet his hot, new wife Janine, just to be attacked by a new set of mobsters a couple seconds later. Sometimes (very seldom) I feel sorry for the man. He did not have a whole minute of peace while the party went on. I ended up meeting with Chris (one of Bandit’s friends) and we called trying to find him, the sly fox was long gone…

Irish Rich, from Denver, Lojack from Florida and a couple other friends were there so we did what any Chopper Freak ™ would do and stood in the rain ogling all the cool bikes that the Sinners had rode in. After a few hours I paid my respects to Mr and Mrs James, thanked them for the invitation and went back to the cave. I was fooled once more, the clock read 5:35 and it was dark, pitch black and raining, I was so screwed by the time change and did not realize I had a cluster fuck of sleep hours. Bandit’s call woke me from my nap, which in reality was bed time back in Puerto Rico. Billy Lane was MIA, so were our other “builder” friends. I was wondering if they were avoiding Bandit like the plague or merely having fun at some party that I did not know about. That night Bandit took us to another joint in Long Beach and then the phone rang, there was another party, and we headed in that direction. The guys from Hot Bike had a small party at the publisher’s house and all our friends were there, Billy, Mike Maldonado, Jesse Rooke, Stacy, Dirty Jim etc,etc. We arrived and had a good, quiet time, amongst old friends and the guys of Hot Bikes who were great hosts (thanks guys). We called it over since the Love Ride awaited the next morning. I felt like jumping out of the car when Bandit told me he had an Exfrumfrumfrumson for me to ride, but I did not know where the fuck I was so had to behave. I had nightmares of dressers and Preferred Customer cards, me dressed in yellow while branding my ” card” with a photo astride a Road King and heading towards Castaic Lake doing 15 miles per hour with a bunch of pins on my vest. I was trapped in a sterile world of HOG members while being directed by Roy with his Road Captain plaque in his lapel….talk about fucking nightmares !!!!!

Bandit sensing that I was about to buy an AK-47 and go postal gave me a break and decided to leave later than normal and avoid the crowds. I arose slowly the next morning and headed towards his section of the Bikernet mansion. Maybe his heart had been softened and the cool ass Knuckle would be waiting for me, no dice amigo. The Exfumfomfufufum was waiting for me, Hell!!!, at least it was pretty cool since it was made in Bandit’s chopper days and was bobbed. After finishing with all the clothing and jackets, and crap, the Pillsbury doughboy (yours truly) was ready to rock. It was finally sunny, but still a bit cold for this tropical soul. In a last effort to break me, Bandit “suggested” that I leave my night riding glasses…..and stupid me left them.

One thing I must admit is that the Old man rode that Road King like there was no tomorrow, me on the other hand, on a bike that I have never ridden before with highbars to the stars, had no fucking choice but to reach for the rails and follow his ass, and that’s what I did…We hauled ass down 110 and crossed LA’s Hollywood area. It’s so cool to be able to ride to all those places, there’s something of riding into “famous” places that I can’t describe. Another thing, all the hot chicks in LA were on that road that morning….Bandit’s plan was crumbling..little by little. We hooked up with interstate 5 heading North towards Castaic. Again the speedo pegged around 80 to 90 mph, we cut lanes every day in PR so I was there with them, no shaking off this home boy, no sir… We managed to make it in one piece to the lake, a lot of guys were checking the Exfrumfomfum out and asking stuff. I directed them to Bandit, mumbled something, and got outta there…fast.

We managed to walk around the grounds, all kinds of vendors were there. We said hi to old friends (who were more than surprised to see me that far West) and met with Chris and The Yellow shirted guys once more (the plans of indoctrination continued their course, to no avail) Chica was there with his VL frame stuffed with a Shovel motor as promised, a two day bike, and very cool.

We walked around and said hi, the girls from the show Motorcycle Women were there, and I swear the oriental girl Qian was checking me out…(G) Maybe they were looking for me to kick my ass, another reality check…. They must have had a much fun as we did on our ride, and it showed. Four of them hanging out and having a ball, a strong bond of ..sisterhood. I guess that the cameras did not matter, the ride was the purpose, and that’s the way it was….Just as I was heading over to ask her out Layla grabbed me and redirected my actions, I guess she was, after all, jealous of the great times we had in Puerto Rico when Bandit went around the World….Or could it be that she saved me of a beating, or making a fool of myself by inviting her to Tahiti….I guess we will never know (By the way, if you are reading this send me an e-mail…)

By then we (I mean Bandit) decided to get the hell outta Dodge, Chris and the other rodents took off with us as well, heading to Brentwood (home of the infamous OJ) and dinner.Once more I was surrounded by full dressers, and going at top speed trying to shake the short wheel based Exfrumfofum and me, once more to no avail. That night we headed back to Pedro and I got ready to hit the airport…It was over. Not before cutting every lane, car, rub, wannabe, V-rod and even animal that crossed our paths. We escaped along truck lanes that were empty and saved us time. I bounced all over the Freeways but managed to keep the Bobber upright…It was not much fun riding at night, freezing my ass, with dark sunglasses. Like always I said Fuck it and rode all the way back just by feel. I made it in one piece…Once again.

Aftermath:I had a great time, all the people I met were so cool to me it’s not even funny. Chris, Clifford and the Hamsters had the coolest Full Dress bikes I’ve seen, and they ride the shit outta them, (there was nothing much left of these dressers but the bags), but cool none the less. The guys at Hot Bike, WCC, Chica, Mike Maldonado, Johnny Suede, Chris Hill, Nuttboy, Bandit, Layla….etc,etc. I thank you all, had a great time. Funny that in the land of fake, actors and silicone, I found true friends and brother bikers, plus saw the sisterhood of the girls on the show and managed to stay away from riding a damn dresser…But man how I missed my Chopper. Maybe next year she will make the trip with me…and maybe, just maybe…It won’t rain.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Tour and Travel report
Gripes, kudos or to ask me out (yes you!) mailto:Jose@ChopperFreak.com

SUPERMAX BELT DRIVES LIVES–SUPER MAX HAS BEEN IN THE BELT DRIVE BUSINESS FOR 30 YEARS. WE TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN OUR PRODUCTS AND THEIR DURABUILITY.

OUR PARTS COST MORE BUT THEY ARE WORTH IT. OUR MOTTO; “BUY YOUR LAST BELT DRIVE FIRST.”

IF YOU WISH TO DISCUSS YOUR INSTALLATION, CALL ME PERSONALLY..

PHIL ROSS.
OWNER/FOUNDER
661-548-6000 10 TO 5 PACIFIC

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH – WINNERS ANNOUNCED!!!

Continued From Page 4

And The Winners Are– Here are our first pick of winners for the new contest. Keep entering because we’ll be choosing a new winner twice a month. Prizes will vary as Sponsors donate products, so don’t give up!!!

George Lamb
Oklahoma City, OK
Wanted: Got all your books, I’m too fat for your t-shirts, got plenty of stickers and patches. My scoot is an 85 FXST, all I need to do is chrome my covers and convert both drives to belts, I know, too expensive, but a Bandit Bedroll or Dayroll would be cool.
Wins: Bikernet T-Shirt 4X and a Dayroll – BTW, George was the first person to enter this contest so he gets two things.

Ted E. Bear
Elizaville, NY
Wanted: canned tuna please……
Wins: Can o’ Tuna…… cause he said please.

Troy Toesning
St. Paul, MN
Wanted: Le Pera Bare Bones cool flamed grips. Bikernet T-shirts are cool. Any of Bandit’s books, Horse sub., beer?
Wins: Set of Bandit’s books

Bill Hopper
Rio Rancho, NM
Wanted: Sin Wu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or anything thats free is good.
Wins: Picture of Sin Wu. He didn’t say in person……..

Steven Letts
Clarklake, MI
Wanted: Sam Chopper Orwell book signed, please.
Wins:Signed copy of Orwell, because he said please.

Dale Fritz
Sun Valley, CA
Wanted: A personalized, autographed copy of Bandit’s new book. A T-shirt would be nice as well. Thanks!
Wins: Signed copy of Orwell ? you?re welcome.

Jim Sanders
Moore, OK
Wanted: I’ll take anything as a prize just so I could say I won something.
Wins: T-Shirts, now he won something.

Will McIntosh
Las Cruces, NM
Wanted: A free copy of Orwell would be badass
Wins: Signed copy of Orwell

JackVerburg
Siamous, BC Canada
Wanted: Money, beer, tight black t-shirts, a law making panties illegal.
Wins:A law making panties illegal

Bill King
Milwaukee, WI
Wanted: One of your kick-ass T-shirts so I can show off here in Oregon. 3X or 4X if possible. Keep up the GGGreat site! Ride it like you stole it!!!!!!!
Wins: Bikernet T-Shirt 4X

Terry Goode
Houston, TX
Wanted: Just knowing (as in reading email) you guys is kick enough. What do I want? Anything personal except unwashed shorts.
Wins: Washed shorts

Kenneth Urry
South Jordan, UT
Wanted: Bikernet Stuff,, shirts, bedroll, signed set of Bandit’s books, gift cert. from sponsors and a weekend trip to the Bikernet headquarters.
Wins: $75.00 gift certificate from Samson’s Exhaust. If we gave him the trip to the Headquarters we would have to kill him. Secret location ya’ know.

Mark Hendricks
Baton Rouge, LA
Wanted: To live to 120 years old. To have an old lady that never has no for an answer. I wish that I would win some, no, all the free stuff.
Wins: Free stuff, but not all. Sorry Mark?

Larry Peterson
Palatine, IL
Wanted: I wish all nations would lay down their weapons and strive for peace, and feed the hungry, shelter the homeless. Then we could all own a bike.
Wins: Signed copy of Orwell for his effort.

JOSE JUST ARRIVED–We’ve got to unleash the E-H from Century Motorcycles so our Puerto Rican correspondent has something wild to ride. It’s time to shut the computers down, break out the Jack Daniels and begin the Love Ride Celebration. We’ll try our best to sober up on Sunday to deliver the Post. Have a helluva weekend.

–Bandit

Just in case you didn’t think the Bikernet crew had a supportive family behind the operation.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH – THE MOVIE ASPHALT COWBOY GROWS

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OZARK ED RETURNS–First of all, everything’s just fine here. It’s starting to be winter here so it’s depressing. Riding is very cold, and it’s rained here for two weeks. I can’t get a couple of parts I need for my Shovelhead, so I’m kinda stuck on the back fender. I wanted to french in the light but I can’t get these little sharks tooth things that I needed for the bezel. I have waited for over three weeks and they are still on backorder.

Skitzo hasn’t worked on his bike for two weeks. I went to the shop on Sunday and made him do some filler work on the frame. We got trashed. Bald headed Patrick bought a new after market kit bike. (independence M/C) today. He said I can’t ride it until he gets 500 miles on it, but you watch. I’ll ride it today.

I’m still good with the juvee girl (above). She’s going with me on a big road trip tomorrow! Just two more months til she’s 21. I’ve attached a photo of the part I like. I’m really kinda bored with her but I can’t quit seeing her till something new comes along.

Titty bar Mike traded his Shovel in for one of those Big Mikes choppers in August. We have this buddy, Big Stacey, who is one of those paintless dent remove guys. He has been in france for four months doing this big hail storm thing. Sounds strange, but I guess they have hail over there, too. Well, he came home with big old pocket full of money and went out to the shop Philip works at and bought a bike just like Mike’s, with the upgrade. It has a bigger tire and a little more stretch. Mike is pissed. We gave them shit about being twinkies. He was fucking steaming. but if you’re going to buy a premade “custom bike” then you gotta expect to see some more just like it. I love it. It’s so entertaining to watch the fallout.

It’s Philip who’s so fucked up. He knew that it was just like Mike’s and he let him buy it without saying anything. I saw him Friday and we laughed so hard our sides hurt.

He introduced me to a very cute girl who works at the shop and told me it was his girlfriend. Then he said. “I can tell you because I know about your girlfriend”. I freaked. His real girl lives with the juvee girl and I thought he was serious. I figured out later he was just fucking with me, but it sent that wave up my spine. He’s got a soft spot for my girl and he would like nothing better to bust me out and get a shot a her. All’s fair i guess, but if he wanted confirmation, he was disappointed. I’ll try to keep you up to date a little better than I have been.

–Ozark Ed

IF YOU THINK LIFE IS BAD–How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes four minutes to get hard.
Only two minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys
But worst of all..the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!!!So cheer up, Your life ain’t that bad!!!!Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay,I mean day!!!!!

–Anders
FlatheadPower.com

ASPHALT COWBOY REPORT–I went on the Love Ride faithfully for the first eight years. I miss goingso much. We’re working hard on the movie project and everything is rolling right along. We still have some room for a couple more investors, if anyone is interested in being involved in a killer biker movie based on a Bandit story line. I’ll send a Business Plan to interested parties.

–Linda
NELSON MADISON FILMS

HELEN WOLFE TESTS DIGITAL CAMERA AT LAS VEGAS DRAGS–Here’s her efforts at the track. We miss her coverage of the drags.

Just in case you didn’t think the Bikernet crew had a supportive family behind the operation.

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