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BIKERNET ROCK AND ROLL EVENTS–Davie Allan & The ArrowsWith “Slacktone” and “The Deoras”

Lava Lounge
1533 No. La Brea Ave.
Hollywood, CA 90028-7072
(323) 876-6612

New Interview (plus album pick of the month, “For A Few Guitars More”):http://www.lancerecords.com/news2.htm,

LOST CHILD NEEDS HELP–A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”

The cop asked, “What’s he like?”

The little boy replied, “Beer and pussy!”

100TH ANNIVERSARY ART RELEASE–Mr. Uhl continues to amaze us with his ability to capture on canvas the essence of the Harley-Davidson experience. This captivating image has been selected as David’s second and final painting for the Century Collection for release around May. If you ordered Century you will get the matched number on this piece. Ron Copple 800-999-1297 http://www.segalfineart.com.

BIKERNET SEXUAL RESEARCH COLUMN–A couple from the United States took a vacation to Africa and, while there, heard about a tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. Well, the couple could not believe this, so they engaged a guide to take them to find this tribe in a remote part of Africa.

When the couple arrived at the tribe’s camp, they were permitted to inspect the male natives’ genitalia and, sure enough, each native had one 24 inches long!

The couple asked the chief how this all came about and they were told that, when each male child became a certain age, a string was tied around his penis and on the other end of the string was a weight. After a while, the weight had the effect of lengthening the penis to 24 inches.

After the couple returned home, the husband was getting out of the shower one day and his wife looked at him and said, “What would you think about your trying the African native string-and-weight procedure so that you can have one like those natives?”The husband agreed and he attached the string and weight.

A few weeks later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our tribal procedure coming?”

He replied, “Well, we’re half way there.”

She asked, “You mean it’s getting longer?”

He said, “No, but it’s turned black

–from Buckshot

HARLEY-DAVIDSON ANNOUNCES NEW SYNTHETIC MOTORCYCLE LUBRICANT–Screamin? Eagle SYN3 Designed for Engine, Transmission and Primary Chaincase Lubrication.MILWAUKEE, WIS. – (January 30, 2003) Harley-Davidson recently announced it has developed a new synthetic lubricant designed to meet the unique needs of Harley-Davidson and Buell engine, transmission and primary chaincase lubrication. Screamin? Eagle Synthetic Motorcycle Lubricant (SYN3) can take the place of engine oil, transmission lubricant and primary chaincase oil, making SYN3 a multi-purpose synthetic lubricant in a category of its own.

Developed by Harley-Davidson engineers in conjunction with industry leaders in the lubricant business, SYN3 was created and extensively tested for maximum performance in Harley-Davidson and Buell engines, transmissions and primary chaincases. The versatile SAE 20W50 lubricant will be sold exclusively through Harley-Davidson and Buell dealerships starting in February (Part Number 99824-03/00QT, MSRP $8.25/quart bottle).

SYN3 is especially appealing to two groups of riders: Performance-minded riders whose motorcycles run hotter when pushed to the limit and those who ride in areas with warmer temperatures. Both types of riders know how crucial it is to ensure proper oil cooling to maintain performance and reliability.

CANADIAN AUTHORITIES TRY TO ASSIGN TERRORIST LABEL TO BIKERS– I just read the bit on the H.A. being considered terrorist. We all know that is just plain stupid.Anyway……..picture this……Would you rather be on a plane with a bunch of towel heads or a bunch of “Hells’ Angels”.

Picture this…..You’re on a plane and some towel head pulls out a blade or a gun, would you rather have a bunch of suits trying to disarm this asshole or a bunch of “Hells’ Angels” trying to disarm the asshole?

Maybe that’s something them dip-shits oughta think about up there in Canada.

–Jef

BAD WEATHER, BAD NEWS– One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his bike out of the garage to ride to meet his friends for their customary Saturday morning ride. Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph and it is only 35 F.

He returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. After a short time, he finds it’s going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his bike back into the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.” To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out riding in that shit?”

–Chuck
Sanford, NC.

–from Mary Ann Hart

BIKERNET MOVIE CRITIC PREVIEWS BIKER BOYS– Sadly, lots of reviewers and critics have slammed the movie and I say to the contrary, don’t listen to the reviewers and whiney critics who nitpick at every little thing and deem it WRONG while sipping a double decafe no foam no fat latte.

The movie should be supported by bikers no matter what you ride because after all it is a biker flick albeit in a different culture, and it’s based upon a true story in the lifestyle.”The story is about the world of underground motorcycle clubs, with the undefeated racer known as Smoke as the undisputed “King of Cali.” He’s challenged by a young motorcycle racing prodigy called Kid who is determined to win Smoke’s helmet and coveted title. Of course, all this means costly stunts and special effects — something the production didn’t have.” reports Teresa Contreras of the movie internet site, Zap2it. Apparently, studios were concerned about a movie featuring African American motorcyclists. http://www.zap2it.com/movies/features/scenes/story/0,1259,95451-100–15294,00.html read more of her article.

So, Biker Boyz wasn’t an easy movie to get launched. It was a damn mountain to get made. And, no, it wasn’t some brilliantly engineered story line, but it didn’t need to be. And most likely there wasn’t any time or budget to really cultivate the original intentions of the flick. The movie is about the culture, it’s about the bikes, the racing and the stunts. A deep story line would take away from the bike’s screentime anyway. It’s more like a shut up and ride and trick flick. www.bikerboyz.com

–Sasha

PS: baby, the bikes from the movie are for sale. http://www.bikerboyz.com/forsale.html

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Custom Victory at the V-Twin Expo.

I survived Cincy with a case of the Oregon Mung. I can easily report that our industry is in good shape and the aftermarket is smiling. From billet madness to old school relics the manufacturers and creators are grinning from ear to ear. Everybody is making a buck and enjoying the creative freedom. There was even a redhead wandering the crowded isles who had my senses on alert. Just the way her close cropped auburn hair glistened in the lights and her blue eyes batted at me made the concrete floor soften and I glided along the astro turf as if it was a king sized bed.

Check Pablo’s report on the Cincy V-Twin Expo. My congratulations to Jim Betlach who organized the event. Helluva job. Let’s hit the news:

BIKERNET SMART WOMAN AWARD–A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Wisconsin. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read.

One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat out. She motored out a short distance, anchored, and continued to read her book.

Along came a game warden in his boat. He pulled up alongside the woman and said, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replied, (thinking: “isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” said the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you!” said the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment.”

MORAL: NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN WHO READS. IT’S LIKELY SHE CAN ALSO THINK!

–Bob T.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON DAYTONA REPORT–This is a special year for Harley-Davidson as we celebrate 100 years ofproducing great motorcycles and making dreams come true. Daytona officiallykicks off the riding season for hundreds of thousands of riders, and we’ll behosting an indoor show in downtown Daytona at the Ocean Center, as well asFactory Demo Rides at Daytona International Speedway all week.

The latest news onour 100th Anniversary activities will be available, and you will be able to preview the indoor showwhich features the recent product offerings from Harley-Davidson and Buell.

THIS SHOULD END ALL 3 BEARS STORIESBaby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, helooks into his small bowl, andIt is empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?”, he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looksinto his big bowl,and it is also empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?!!,”he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen andyells,”For Christ’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this withyou idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who wokeeveryone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night,andput everything away it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air tofetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litterbox, and filled the cat’s water and food dish,and, now that you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs,and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good,cause I’m only going to say this one more time.

I HAVEN’T MADE THE FUCKING PORRIDGE YET.”

–from Cindy, at Century Motorcycles in San Pedro, cindy@centurymotorcycles.com

TIN SIGNS CONNECTION–Asheville carries lots of Harley items – everything from signs to scale models.http://www.ashevillediecast.com/dir/search.html?SEARCHSTRING=harley&lowlimit=20&highlimit=39.000000&sh=d

If that link doesn’t work – just do a search for Harley on the site

BIKERNET OLDEST PET JOKE– A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud;”Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?”

The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defectiveparrot.””Holy cow,” the guy replies. “You actually understood and answered me!”

“I got every word,”saysthe parrot. “I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educatedbird.”

“Oh yeah?”, the guy asks, “Then answer this how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”

“Well,”the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap mywillie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my feathers.”

“Wow” says the guy, “y ou really can understand and speak English, can’t you?”

” Actually, Ispeakboth Spanish and English. You really ought to buy me. I’d be a greatcompanion.”

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. “Sorry, but I just can’tafford t hat.”

“Pssssssst” says the parrot, “I’m defective, so the truthis,nobody wants me because I don’t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!”

Theguy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by & one day the guy comes home from work and the Parrot goes “Psssssssssssst” and motions him over with one wing. “I don’t knowif I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife and the postman.”

“What are you talking about?” asksthe guy .

“When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at thedoorin a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately.”

“WHAT???” the guy asks incredulously. “THEN what happened?

“Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over”, reported the parrot.

“My God!” he exclaims. “Then what?”

“Then he lifted up thenightie, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with herbreasts and slowly going down….”

“WELL???” demands the frantic guy, “THEN WHAT HAPPENED?”

“Damnedif I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch.”

–from Dan McNeil

CYRIL HUZE NEW SPIKEE MIRRORS– Original mirror design by Cyril Huze featuring a bezel with 3 spikes. Glass is enclosed with no risk of falling off because of vibrations. Back of the mirror is a 3-step design. Sold individually with a short stem in Chrome.

Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles & Parts
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Website: //www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com

ONLINE MOTORCYCLE STORE–MotorcycleUSA?s Superstore is well-established and has been online for over five years. We cater to the needs of Sportbike, Off-Road, Cruiser, ATV, and Snowmobile enthusiasts.

We offer a huge selection of top brand gear, apparel, and accessories, and bike-specific products will soon be added to further broaden our appeal. Please contact us at mailto:affiliate@motorcycle-usa.com, affiliate@motorcycle-usa.com or visit http://www.linkshare.com/, www.linkshare.com for further details.

If not a LinkShare merchant, us this URL to join:http://www.motorcycle-superstore.com/affiliate.asp

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE–A True Story From the Meridian, Mississippi Star:George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wifetold him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which shecould see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that therewere people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the Police, whoasked “Is someone in your house?” and he said “no”.

Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that no one was availableat this time, and that he should simply lock his door and an officerwould be along when one became available.

George said “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and then phoned the Police again. “Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now cause I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, 2 Armed Response units, a Helicopterand an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence.

The police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available.

–from Bob T.

Just last week we received a call from our alarm company. They told us that the Los Angeles police department will no longer respond to alarms unless it’s an attack alarm (like mentioned above). The last time our alarm went off I returned to the headquarters a half hour before the police. On top of that it’s illegal to put your alarm horn on the outside of the facility to hopefully draw neighbors.

BIKERNET TAKES DELTA TO CINNCINATI– “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyedgiving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

–from RevCarlR

BIKERNET DISASTER STUDY–A little political review, time to think &remember … From a Navy man:After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed 6 and injured1,000 — President Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted downand punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 5 U.S. militarypersonnel– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19 andinjured 200 U.S. military personnel– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224 andinjured 5,000– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39U.S. sailors– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, perhaps many of the 3,000+ peoplewho died in New York City, NY and Washington, DC on 9-11-2001 would bealive today.

–Cmdr. Hamilton McWhorter USN(ret)

–from Redhorse

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CLASS ACTION SUIT AGAINST HARLEY-DAVIDSON–Everyone who owns a 1999 and early 2000 Twin Cam engine H-D; and isinterested in finding out more about cam bearing failure and what you can doabout it, should go to www.lchb.com and follow the links about the caseagainst H-D.

January 14, 2003, Milwaukee, Wisconsin — The Wisconsin Court of Appealsreversed the trial court’s dismissal of a consumer fraud lawsuit againstHarley-Davidson, finding that plaintiffs had properly alleged claims underthe Wisconsin Deceptive Trade Practices Act and for fraudulent concealment.The lawsuit was brought by Harley-Davidson motorcycle owners with 1999 orearly-2000 models equipped with Twin Cam 88 or Twin Cam 88B (together,TC-88) engines. Plaintiffs allege that the TC-88 engine was defectivelydesigned and potentially dangerous due to the propensity for premature camfailure, which causes sudden and total engine failure.Read more here:Harley Class Action Suit Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, LLP, Announcesthat Wisconsin Court of Appeals Reinstates Consumer Fraud Class ActionAgainst Harley-Davidson

MILWAUKEE–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Jan. 14, 2003– An Estimated One HundredThousand 1999 and Early-2000 Model Harley Motorcycles Are Equipped withAllegedly Defective Engines Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, LLP,plaintiff’s co-counsel in Tietsworth, et al. v. Harley-Davidson, Inc., andHarley-Davidson Motor Company, a consumer fraud class action lawsuit,announced that in a unanimous decision the Wisconsin Court of Appeals todayreversed the trial court’s dismissal of the lawsuit, finding that plaintiffshad properly alleged the necessary elements of claims under the WisconsinDeceptive Trade Practices Act and for common law fraudulent concealment.

“Weare gratified that the Court of Appeals recognized the merits of our case,and thrilled that our clients and all of the other consumers who bought andride these motorcycles will have their day in court, and a chance to showthatthey got something less than what they paid for,” commented Lieff Cabraserpartner Lisa J. Leebove.

–from Rogue

HARLEY-DAVIDSON ANNOUNCES NEW SYNTHETIC MOTORCYCLE LUBRICANT–

Screamin? Eagle SYN3 Designed for Engine, Transmission and Primary Chaincase Lubrication

MILWAUKEE, WIS. – (January 30, 2003) Harley-Davidson recently announced it has developed a new synthetic lubricant designed to meet the unique needs of Harley-Davidson and Buell engine, transmission and primary chaincase lubrication. Screamin? Eagle Synthetic Motorcycle Lubricant (SYN3) can take the place of engine oil, transmission lubricant and primary chaincase oil, making SYN3 a multi-purpose synthetic lubricant in a category of its own.

Developed by Harley-Davidson engineers in conjunction with industry leaders in the lubricant business, SYN3 was created and extensively tested for maximum performance in Harley-Davidson and Buell engines, transmissions and primary chaincases. The versatile SAE 20W50 lubricant will be sold exclusively through Harley-Davidson and Buell dealerships starting in February (Part Number 99824-03/00QT, MSRP $8.25/quart bottle).

SYN3 is especially appealing to two groups of riders: Performance-minded riders whose motorcycles run hotter when pushed to the limit and those who ride in areas with warmer temperatures. Both types of riders know how crucial it is to ensure proper oil cooling to maintain performance and reliability.

More than three years of laboratory bench testing, dynamometer testing under accelerated conditions, open road and closed course durability testing, wear and deposit rating analysis and sophisticated used lubricant analysis went into producing the optimal combination of three synthetic basestocks and carefully chosen mixture of additives which offer superior lubrication and cooling, as well as protection against rust and oxidation. Screamin? Eagle?s more than half a million miles and 500-plus hours of dyno testing proved that in addition to reduced oil consumption, SYN3 also provides high temperature film strength, which means the lubricant maintains film thickness in high power output and high engine speed conditions, keeping the metal parts from rubbing against each other and resulting in less wear.

AIRPORT SECURITY– airport securityAlmost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire aprivate investigator – Alan Pinkerton – for protection. That was the beginningof the Secret Service. Since that time, the federal government has produceda large number of multi-letter agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA,BATF, etc.

Now we have the “Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service”.

Can’t you see them now, these highly trained men and women in theirblack outfits with jackets saying across the backs: “F.A.T.A.S.S.”

I feel safer already.

–CARLR

TAHITI RUN IS ON FOR LATE MARCH– Just got this from Tahiti. todays exchange rate is appx 110 cfp = $1so I was able to get the price down for Jim and JoAnn and what ever other couple to about $350 per person taxes included with the $515 air fare thats $865 per person. Not bad down from $1425. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get meals or transfers included for this price. I’m working on getting a discount on transfers and the ferry trip from another source. They want $125 per person extra for 6 breakfasts. Or about $21 per person per day. Screw that!

I still have 3 seats and an extra room I’m holding on to in case Billy Lane or Jose change their minds or someone else pops up.

POLICE WANT BIKERS DECLARED TERRORISTS–The federal justice minister is considering declaring theHells Angels Motorcycle Club a terrorist organization,based on a secretive seizure by the RCMPat Montreal’s Dorval airport. Although Canadian authoritiesare saying little about the criminal investigation involving a member of theclub, and have refused to identify what was found, according to publishedreports a seizure of a club member’s colors and questions about anunexplained quantity of cash at the international airport has triggered acall for the club to be added to the federalgovernment’s list of terrorist organizations.

The seizure occurred after several members of the Hells Angels returned toCanada on December 2, 2002, from a meeting in Europe, and althoughauthorities remain tight-lipped, sources told the National Post newspaperthat a jacket and other items of clothing bearing theHells Angels logo were confiscated.$2,600 in cash was questioned, but not seized,and no charges have been filed.The colors were being carried in the member’s luggagewhile passing through Canada Customs. Authorities told the newspaper thatthe club has no known ties to well-known terrorist groups, but the way thegroup is run falls within parameters of the current anti-terrorism law.

Canada currently lists 16 groups as being involved in terrorism, includingal Qaida, Hezbollah and Hamas. The incident has prompted discussion aboutapplying the wide-ranging powers approved after the Sept. 11 terroristattackson the United States to fight criminal organizations.

Such a move would make it far easier to prosecute and seize the assets ofoutlaw motorcycle club members. “I’d love to see it get easier for us [toprosecute them].We are always open for that,”said Commander Mario Plante, head of the organized crime division ofMontreal police.

A member of the Hells Angels, who spoke on condition he notbe named, said linking the club to terrorist activity is offensive. “Itbelittles how important the fight against terrorism is,” he said.”Our parents fought in World War II,”he told the newspaper.”The Hells Angels’ original members were born out ofhaving fought the Nazis and every Hells Angelwould be the first to line upin defense of their country.”

–from Rogue

E-BAY TIP–Thought this might interest your readers.http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2401650349&indexURL=0#ebayphotohosting.

2000 Ford : F-Series Pickup H-D F150,Harley F150,2000 FXST,Trailer Combo This rig draws stares and compliments wherever it is seen. The Harley-Davidson F-150 is lowered, flamed and just plain gorgeous. There were only 7500 of these trucks produced in 2000. This is the first year these trucks were offered and this is Unit #4852, built Aug. 17, 2000.

The bike is a 2000 FXST that is also flamed and has a built 95″ Twin Cam Engine making over 100 hp. and over 100 ft,lbs. of torque. The trailer is a Lehman Hawg-Hauler that is painted to match the truck and bike. This is truly one of the finest custom packages around today. You won’t see another one anywhere with such a unified design package.

BANDIT LOSES SUPERBOWL BET!–Blaaaaahaaahaaa……. sucker bet! Now you not only have to buy Tbeardrinks, you have to post your ass before the entire world!

Jeeeeziskeyrist…..please tell me what page it’s on so I don’t have tohurt my eyes looking at it. I know I said I would do image work foryou….. I draw the line at air brushing your south side.

Goooooooooo Bucs! Florida rocks!

–FTW,Stroker

This gruff lookin’ sonuvabitch is the gruff hardworking leader of the Texas motorcycle rights movement. He’s Sputnik, a rider dedicated to keeping motorcyclists free in the big state. Maybe he’ll be at the meet?

DALLAS SWAP MEET FEBRUARY 2ND!Howdy, The Texas Scooter Times here reminding everyone about the Texas Scooter Times upcoming Swap Meet in Dallas-February 2nd at the Historic Longhorn Ballroom!

Bikers will find motorcycle parts manufactures and distributors that travel the country, selling by the volume at deep discounts. There’ll be Motorcycle Shops that sell the good used parts that are taken off bikes in their shops when customers want to change up their rides. There’ll be Jewelry Vendors, T-Shirt Hawkers, Leather Sellers and people peddling oddities of all kinds. What ever it is you are looking for, IT’S HERE!

– Live Band – Bargains – Parts & Party – Door prizes and other contests – TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS! – Don’t miss them!HOURS: Gates open at 11am – Limited Vendor Space Still Available- please call the Texas Scooter Times for reservations.

NEW! – the Texas Scooter Times Paper is online now! Go to www.texasscooter.com and click on the TST ONLINE! Tab to read.

For more info on a specific show and driving directions visit: www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Let me start this week by excusing myself for missing last weeks news..Incase some people did not notice…But yeap my award winning report wasMIA…Just so you know, and I really don’t care if you care or not, I had areally hot date with a certain tall chick…Such a hot date that we havebeen spending weeks and weeks together, to put it mildly I have not gottenhome before 4:00 am since the time we have been seeing each other…Yeap,you might wonder when do I get my loonie pills..I’m comparing that fuckingchopper with a chick..that is sad very sad.Anyway, enough bullshit, I ain’t no politician trying to feed my ego andlooking like the Keebler elves..(I guess that’s my political viewpoint ofthe week)

Remember that some time ago I promised a sneak peek at the Finnishmagazine, Kopteri, well here it is …Finally !Also speaking of the devil, the guys from Kopteri are coming to ourtropical shores in February for some fun in the sun and to check thechopper “culture” in our small island…I will certainly be reporting aboutthat in following weeks.

I’ve spent several nights banging (metal that is) inserting nuts, grinding,and many other dual inuendo words on my new chopper, I have managed to dothe whole mock up tonight, so I hope that by the end of the week it will beon the paint booth, so, since you are such faithful readers and to keep asecret amongst us, (yeap all three million of us) here’s a photo of my newchopper… BTW, since there’s so many rats and copycats checking Bikernetevery week (you know who you are..Weasels !!) I have kept the photo in aspy proof mode…If you happen to go to Daytona you might see the real bikethere…If not I promise I will post it here the week before the bike getsthere.

So let’s get to the very brief news (since I’ve been hiding in my fuckinggrease monkey palace for the last month and I don’t know jack of what’sgoing on)I’m very sorry to report that our good friend Georgie Jupin is riding hischopper in the sky…We will miss him, his antics and charisma. It’s sad toloose a friend, more so under those circumstances.. Hasta pronto bro..Cinci is taking place this week end, yeap I cancelled all my plans thanksto the chopper, as well as Indy. I guess Bandit is going, so he will takecare of getting to bed early and having his protein shake, hum maybe I’llgo to visit Sin and the girls, like the old saying..When the cat’s away…

We have a few Bobbers on build right now, I’m going to chance it and see ifI can get another one done for Daytona, (yes I lost it big time…) Whoknow’s I might manage to , or maybe not…We also have secured the spot in Beach Street for The Horse, Choppers Incand Caribbean Custom Cycles…Come by and shoot the shit, there’s going tobe some cool bikes there, and even my choppers…

I’ve been trying to make up some of the stuff you guys like so much (orhate) but I have not been able to, anyway, once more it’s 4:00 am here andI’m still writing this.. Also there’s so many friends out there that havebent over backwards to help me out on this new choppers, Thanks guys ! I’llpost a detailed list later on .Gotta hit the Sealy before I get a total brain meltdown.

Later —Jose

LAWSUIT OF THE WEEK–Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

–from RFR

ESCAPE HATCH–I don’t much like the news this week. I don’t like law suits, bikers being called terrorists, or the accident rates going through the roof.

I say stiff penalities for anyone in a car or truck who hits a motorcyclists. I say we all move to the midwest were we can still ride free and escape the cities. I vote we legalize prostitution and improve morale.

Continued From Page 1

CLUB LEADER TESTIFIES AGAINS NEPHEW IN LIVONIA SLAYINGS--By John Bebow and Craig Garrett / The Detroit News.LIVONIA — The leader of a Detroit biker gang snitched on his nephew for the Pesce killings in Livonia because of “the kids,” the biker testified Friday. Billy Smith, 36, who identified himself as the “west side boss” of the Devil’s Disciples biker gang, told a crowded Livonia court room that he turned in his nephew, John Wolfenbarger, for the Dec. 21 killings of jeweler Marco Pesce, his mother, and his three children in their upscale home.

“It was the nature of the crime,” Smith said. “The kids. The kids. You can’t step over that line.”

Wolfenbarger was bound over Friday for trial in Wayne County Circuit Court based on police evidence and the testimony of Smith and several other witnesses. The preliminary exam for Wolfenbarger’s alleged partner, Dennis Delmar Lincoln, is scheduled to continue next Friday. Both Wolfenbarger and Lincoln pleaded not guilty. Witnesses Friday described Wolfenbarger as a man who could mix murder with everyday convention in the days before Christmas. A 12-year-old witness testified Wolfenbarger drove his family to church the morning after the shootings and then took them to Sunday brunch at The Copa, a bar on Schoolcraft. But the star witness was Billy Smith, a bartender at The Copa, who broke the case wide open for detectives who had no inkling of a connection to Detroit’s rough Brightmoor neighborhood, where Wolfenbarger lived on and off since his parole from prison in August. “Before Billy, Brightmoor was not on our radar,” said Wayne County assistant prosecutor Mike King. Others testified Wolfenbarger sometimes stayed two doors down from Smith’s home in Brightmoor. Smith said Wolfenbarger woke him up in his house after 11 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 21, saying cryptically, “Five dead,” and told Smith to watch the news. Later, Wolfenbarger told him, “The (expletive) I did will be on CNN” and asked for help in disposing of gold taken in the robbery of Pesce’s home, Smith testified.

–from Rogue and Detroit News

FRANK KAISLER BREATHER LESSON–Shovels have two vents. The first is the fitting above the oil pump, justbehind the rear lifter block that returns oil and oil vapor to the tank..The second is the crankcase vent inboard of the oil pump on the cases. If this is a late model Shovel there are two tapped holes forfittings. One hole for oil returning from the primary chaincases, the secondis the crankcase vent to the atmosphere . Is one or both of these holesplugged?

What is the oil level in the oil tank? Over full oil levels in the tankdon’t allow enough room for oil return and oil vapor in the tank. Rememberoil return is driven pressure from the pump, oil feed to the pump isgravity, and then pressurized through the engine.

Oil filter? are the oil lines to and from the filter correct? Is thefilter plumbed correctly?

Oil is filtered by entering the center of the filter, and then through thefilter element returning to the tank through the outside holes around theperimeter of the filter.

On a Shovel the filter should be plumbed in the return line from the pump tothe tank. So, oil leaves pump, goes to middle fitting on filter housing,leaves filter housing and connects to oil tank. Fitting on oil tank shouldbe higher than oil level inside tank (back to over-full oil level). Ifthe oil return has to force itself into the oil in the tank it buildsadditional pressure back downstream all the way to the pump. You want theoil to flow freely back into the tank.

Is the correct oil filter installed? Oil filters come with a built–inrelief valve. When pressure inside the filter builds to a pressureexceeding the valve (like when the filler element becomes clogged withdebris) the valve will open allowing the oil to flow freely back to thetank. Different filters have different pressure relief valves, also, newerfilters used on the Twin Cam will filter smaller particles of dirt, meaningmore restrictive, meaning higher pressure. Most Shovels run straight 60weight oil, which is thick, trying to force 60 weight through a late modelfilter will build up undue pressure, even with the oil filter pressurerelief valve. These late model filters were designed to be used with multi-weight oils like the factories 20-50.

Larger displacement engines need tohave the opening enlarged in the crankcases where the breather gear spins to allow more air and oil vapor to pass through as the pistons come down the cylinders.

That’s all I can think of off the top of my pointed head.

BIKERNET REVEALS SECRETS TO STOCK CV CARB–Check the teck on the home page for mods to your common, stock, Harley-Davidson CV carb. Ron Trock of Cycle Specialities can set up a CV carb for any Harley.

THE QUANTUM SAGA CONTINUES–I have been notified by the Law Office of Peter Hill, attorney for George E. Mills the trustee in the Quantum bankruptcy case No 00-08472-OB7 that they want to approve another compromise with 3 more debtors.

Basically what they want to do is settle these actions for a lower fee. They are saying it is a better deal than going to court and paying legal fees to try and collect and they are probably right. So far I have seen reports and compromises and it appears the only one making any money has been the Trustee and his Attorney.

The 3 cases are Management Recruiters of Cheyenne Inc. sum of $17,500.00 reduced to $12,000.00, – GFS Investments Inc. sum of $20,000.00 reduced to $12,000.00, – American Express Company sum of $17,500.00 reduced to $10,000.00

Some of you may remember the last compromise the trustee requested that some Quantum employees objected to. The employees appeared at the Federal Bankruptcy Court in Orlando Florida on March 21,2002 and removed the objections after the attorney and trustee told the Court that the monies coming in from that settlement would be enough to pay all the employees their past wages. They also stated that payments should start 90 to 120 days after that. Of course all of you know that never happened.

Now they are coming forward again requesting another compromise. I personally do not see much sense in objecting, as it would be money coming in.

–ROGUE

HORSE BIKE WEEK NOTICE–Hey ya’all,Here’s the ad we are running in the next issue of Da Horse.It lets everyone know where we will be at Bike Week.Pass it on to whoever u think is deservin’

–geno

BIKERNET SPORTS REPORT–SUPERBOWL– Worst example of “Time Managment” and play calling I have ever seen!! I couldn’t believe they tried that 2 pt. B.S. all night long after scoring. Fucking unreal. That call by the Ref. on the 2 pt. conversion in the endzone clearly showed that he must have been paid off by the Buc’s owner. Old “Deep Pockets” Glazer!! Ya need to go for the high percentage pt’s, kick the fucker shit!!.

What was up with the Raider quarterback?? It looked like on every interception he had thrown that he looked straight at the defender and said here’s another one for you guy’s!!

The Buc’s it seemed to me were in better condition. That Dago heat must have ate up the Raiders or some damn thing. After the Buc’s got over the “Jitter’s” early on they really put the “Hammer” down on the Silver & Black.

Oh well. Anyway one of the best part’s of the night for me was hearing & watching those Dixie Chick’s do the national anthem proud!! Truly a great moment for American Sports. A well deserved “Atta Girl” for all three of those sweety’s.

–Pablo

P.S. The Daytona 500 is up next buddy.

DEATH OF MOTORCYCLISTS UP–Nation & World: Saturday, January 25, 2003,By Seth BorensteinKnight Ridder Newspapers.WASHINGTON – Fatal motorcycle crashes are up more than 50 percent since1997, and no one can figure out why.Graying riders, weakened helmet laws, drunken motorcyclists, souped-upengines and oblivious car drivers all may be factors, but safety expertsaren’t quite sure why the rate of fatal crashes are soaring as fatal car andtruck crash rates fall.

“We don’t know why it’s happening, so how can we do anything about it?” saidDavid Thom, program manager at the Head Protection Research Laboratory, anonprofit safety group. He is also co-author of a study of motorcycle riderand industry safety.

Other nations are seeing a similar rise in motorcycledeaths, Thom said.U.S. motorcyclist deaths dropped consistently from 1980 to 1997 but now arejumping each year by the hundreds. In 1997, 2,116 motorcyclists were killed;in 2001, the number was up to 3,181, according to the National HighwayTraffic Safety Administration (NHTSA).

The rising death toll can be attributed in part to the rising number ofmotorcycles on the road, but crashes are up even taking that into account.The rate of fatal U.S. crashes per 100 million miles ridden increased by 59percent from 1997 to 2001, from 21.4 to 34.4.In 1997, one in 20 U.S. road fatalities was a motorcycle rider; it was onein 13 in 2001.Motorcycle crashes that injure, but not kill, have increased only 19 percentsince 1997.

With little protection around them, motorcyclists suffer more severeinjuries – often to the head – that turn fatal, experts say. Motorcyclistsare 26 times more likely to die in a crash than a passenger in a car.Bikers know this all too well.

“Things are more intense all around,” said Art Friedman, a senior editor atMotorcyclist magazine. He writes the “street survival” column and commutesaround Los Angeles daily on his motorcycle. “I’ve taken greater efforts tomake myself conspicuous. I wear an orange helmet. I wear a bright yellowjacket, and I ride with my high beams on.”f

NHTSA cites many possible causes for the increased motorcycle death rate,among them that riders tend to be older – the average age of motorcyclistskilled in crashes increased from 29.3 in 1990 to 36.3 in 2001.Bigger bikes are doubtlessly another contributing factor, as engine size hasincreased by 25 percent, on average, from 769 cubic centimeters in 1990 to959 cc in 2001.Another major factor, according to the agency, is that five states -Arkansas, Texas, Kentucky, Louisiana and Florida – have weakened lawsrequiring motorcycle helmets since 1997. NHTSA studies show dramaticincreases in fatalities in each of those states except Florida.But even those reasons together don’t provide a full explanation, expertssay.

“There are some question marks that can only be answered by doing acomprehensive (motorcycle accident) causation study,” NHTSA spokesman RaeTyson said.But NHTSA will not do such a study because it costs too much, between $2million and $3 million, Tyson said.As a point of comparison, the federal government spends $4.2 million a yearon shrimp aquaculture research and $5 million a year to run the BaldrigeNational Quality Program, which recognizes private companies’ “quest forexcellence.”Independent experts agree that such a study is needed. It was the No. 1recommendation from both riders and the motorcycle industry in a 98-pagesafety proposal in 2001, according to Friedman.No such a study has been conducted in the United States since 1981. Sincethen much has changed involving motorcycles, riders, safety equipment andbusier roadways full of high-riding sport-utility vehicles.Europe is in the midst of such a comprehensive study. Thailand recentlyfinished one and “is certainly more caught up than we are,” Friedman said.

Instead of studying the causes of crashes to figure out what needs to bechanged, NHTSA this month unveiled a 24-page motorcycle safety program. Itwould study how states differ in rider training, target drunken riding,improve helmets and their use, and educate drivers in two states on how toshare the road with motorcyclists.But experts say the NHTSA plan is weak because it does not aim to find outwhy fatal crashes are increasing.

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What a wacky week it’s been. Tomorrow the industry is heading to Cinncinati for a weekend party. Who knows what will be accomplished. I’ll be there for American Rider covering the show and passing out Bikernet stickers.

For the last week I’ve had the priviledge of riding the new Victory Vegas. Nice scoot. There’s more on that below. The Pan is running fine and we’ll start work on the King again next week. We better get to the news.

BIKER-FUGITIVE DISCOVERED–Investigators stand near the box that contained the body of Lawrence William Cook, 44. Cook, whose body was found in Bayou Cocodrie last week, was a wanted fugitive from Texas. A man whose dismembered body was found in a plastic storage box floating in Bayou Cocodrie was a fugitive from the law in Texas.

Lawrence William Cook, 44, had four outstanding warrants against him from Grayson County, Texas, including one for allegedly stealing a policeman’s motorcycle, according to Grayson County (Texas) Sheriff Keith Gary.

Cook, known in the Grayson County area as “Larry-Larry,” had a lengthy criminal record with at least 18 arrests.

Cook had a gunshot wound behind his ear when his body was found last Friday. His legs had been cut off, apparently to make his body fit into the box, Evangeline Parish sheriff’s detectives said. The legs have not been found.

Cook was a member of the North Texas chapter of the Banshee motorcycle club. It is unknown if his club involvement was a factor in his death, detectives said.

–Mandy M. Goodnight / The Town Talk

THE RIGHT AGE FOR CUSSING– A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom.

“You know what?” says the 6-year-old. “I think it’s about time we start cussing.”

The 4-year-old nods his head in approval.

The 6-year-old continues. “When we go downstairs for breakfast I’m gonna say “hell,” and you say “ass.” “OK!”

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast.

“Aw hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.”

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room & shouts, “You can just stay there till I let you out!”

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?”

“I don’t know,” he blubbers, “But you can bet your fat ass it won’t be Cheerios.”

–from Rev. CarlR

VICTORY VEGAS ROAD TEST–Off and on for a week I’ve been riding a new 2003 Victory Vegas. If you’re looking for a new bike, give one a try. I was impressed. I equated it to a Sportster in some regards, although it’s 92 inches of overhead cams, 4-valve heads and plenty of torque was rubbermounted. It weighs 615 pound, whereas my King weighs 723 lbs. dry, and a Sportster weighs 489 to 503 lbs. dry, depending on model.

My report will be available in Cruising Rider magazine.

–Bandit

POLICE STIFLE TOY RUN–Each fall for the last four years, thousands of motorcycle riders have driven their bikes through eastern Delaware County in a festive event organized by the nonprofit Bikers Against Child Abuse Inc. to raise money and collect toys for abused and neglected children.

The group, which has its national office in Delaware County, has been honored for its efforts in the past and has attracted wide support. U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon (R., Pa.) was the grand marshal for yesterday’s ride.

Yesterday, however, bikers gathering in Darby Borough at 10 a.m. were greeted with heavy police presence. About 135 officers who had been called in from more than half a dozen municipalities inspected each motorcycle for motor-vehicle code violations before the ride could proceed – something they had not done before previous rides. Neither police nor the bikers would say how many citations had been issued.

–By Dan HardyInquirer Staff Writer

BIKERNET WEAPONS TEST–Question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screamingobscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot.You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that isinspiring him to attack?Could we run away? What does my wife think?What about the kids?Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out ofhis hand?What does the law say about this situation?Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me?If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:BANG!

Texan’s Answer:BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAN! G! BANG! click…(sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)

Wife: “Sweetheart, he looks like he’s still moving, what do you kidsthink?”

Son: “Mom’s right Dad, I saw it too…”

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: “Nice grouping Daddy!”

–from Al Friedman

BANDIT IS NO PUBLIC BURDEN?–You spend the last TWO years paying off medical bills from an uninsuredmotorcycle accident? Man, you’re screwing up the works! Don’t youlisten to your government? All uninsured motorcycle accidents areautomatically a public burden. There must be a government agency thatpays for all medical bills of uninsured motorcycle accidents and youneed to contact them immediately to get a full refund.

As usual O’ great one your words have inspired new thought. I havealways stopped at the point of showing that NHTSA’s bloated accusationsof helmet-less motorcyclist costing the public millions of dollars asbeing a lie. They site their 1996 report showing unhelmeted ridershaving 5 percent higher medical costs then helmeted riders. Then theytake that 5 percent, multiply it by some estimated dollar figure formedical expenses and tell congress, judges, and the world thatunhelmeted riders are costing the public millions of dollars. Theyfail to mention that the data used for the 1996 report states it has a5 percent margin of error making the estimated numbers a meaninglesslie. There didn’t seem much reason to give it further consideration.

NHTSA making unsupported blanket statements that every motorcyclist injured without medical insurance is automatically a public burden isanother lie. You are a prime example. My brothers wife had to havesurgery without insurance and they spent 5 years paying off medicalbills. Doctors and Hospitals don’t just let people walk and not pay ifthey are uninsured. There is no government agency that pays for thesebills. People have to pay their debt, medical or other wise, or theymust file for bankruptcy, or go to jail. That’s how the system works. Exactly how do helmet-less motorcycle riders become a public burden?

Public burden is the only reason the government, both legislative andjudicial, have come up with to force us to wear a potentialy fatalpiece of “safety gear.” The public burden theory is unproven, it is alie.

–FTW,Stroker

BIKERNET REVEALS HOW TO BUILD A FLOW BENCH– This is the second Flowbench I have built. The first one was modeled after a commercial one but was under powered. I could barely get 8″ w.c. test pressure on intake testing.

I have been working on this thing for quite some time now. This second design is not of the Laminar Flow type benches like Jerry Branch or Don Tilley use. This design is more like the larger comercial Flowbenches most commonly used by alot of cylinder head porter’s nowdays.

–Pablo

Watch for the tech to be revealed in segments starting next week.

?SATAN’ BIKER BUSTED OVER DRUG LAB– By JOHN LEHMANN. January 15, 2003 — A 300-pound biker, who leads a gang known as “Satan’s Soldiers,” is facing a hellish future after being nabbed manufacturing drugs in a clandestine lab near a school in The Bronx, the feds charge.

Angelo “Red” Cruz surrounded himself with an arsenal of guns while directing his gang to produce crystal methamphetamine – also known as crank and ice – in a trailer near the gang’s clubhouse, according to court papers.

Cruz, wearing a tent-sized red and black jacket, was hauled into Manhattan federal court yesterday after a close pal ratted him out to cops.

–from Rogue and New York Post Online

NEW BUELL LIGHTNING LOW XB9S–STREETFIGHTER PERFORMANCE FOR SHORTER RIDERS–Milwaukee, Wis. – (Jan. 28, 2002) Buell Motorcycle Company recently revealed the 2003 Lightning Low XB9S, a new model with a 1.5-inch lower seat height than the standard Lightning XB9S. The Lightning Low delivers uncompromised street performance in a package that will be more comfortable for a shorter rider.

The Lightning Low XB9S has a seat height of just 28.6 inches, achieved by altering the front and rear suspension and reshaping the seat pad. According to Buell engineers, the Lightning Low retains the responsive handling and exhilarating performance of previous Buell models. The Lightning Low also offers the same lean styling and advanced design features found on the innovative Buell Lightning XB9S and Firebolt XB9R, including fuel-in-the-frame, oil-in-the-swingarm, and Zero Torsional Load front brake, with the muscular torque of a 92-horsepower, 984cc air-cooled, 45-degree V-Twin engine with Dynamic Digital Fuel Injection.

The new Lightning Low XB9S will be available in Buell dealerships in February with an MSRP of $9,995.

For photography and information on Harley-Davidson Motor Company and Buell American Motorcycles, visit www.h-dmedia.com.

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