THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE, or visit us on the web at www.ON-A-BIKE.com.

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

Here we are in the second month of the new year and I’m still writing 2002 on my check dates. You too? Y’must be gettin’ long in the tooth, or maybe the years are adding up faster than you can keep track of.

Looking back, this past year has been one of many victories and a few upsets for us in the motorcycle rights world. Our main problem, still, is finding people that ride or are rider-friendly who even care about what happens to their freedom to ride a motorcycle, let alone deal with all the restrictions we are fighting, to be able to ride machines with air cooled engines. If Big Brother has his way, pretty soon, we’ll be on bikes that don’t even resemble the machines that so many of us learned to ride on. That is, if we’re lucky enough to keep the right to ride at all. Right now, the life of the air cooled engine is on the way to extinction if we don’t make ourselves heard and very clearly by our congress, our state legislatures, and in various ruling bodies in other parts of the world.

This last year has also been one of loss of dear friends for many of us, myself included. These people that meant so much to our lives will be remembered in the way we conduct ourselves in their absence. Many of these folks were fellow freedom fighters, others were fellow riders and they all need to be remembered as contributors to our well-being and footprints on our souls. None of them would want us to falter in our fight for the return of freedoms lost because we didn’t think it could happen. 2003 needs to be the year of gettin’ the job done!

NEWS BIT’S ?N’ PIECES:

SAN DIEGO: Don Vesco, who set the wheel-driven land-speed record of 458 mph, died of prostate cancer at 63. Vesco set 18 motorcycle and six car-type vehicle records, going back to when he was just 16. And listen to this: In 1970, he rode a bike to a record 250 mph. Five years later, he broke the 300 mph barrier on his Silver Bird Yamaha, powered by twin Yamaha TZ750 engines. In 1978, he boosted that to 318 mph on a Kawasaki turbo, a record that stood for 12 years. He was inducted into the motorcycle hall of fame in 1999. Yet, this man is relatively unknown to the average street rider. This cat could really ride a scooter.

LAS VEGAS: The Guggenheim Las Vegas museum, the scene of the motorcycle history display, closes its doors Jan. 5 after a 15-month run. Our economy is stated to be the reason. T hey just can’t afford to operate the way things are right now. It’s a shame. And none of the riders in our Oregon AIM office — me, Sam Hochberg or Jeanne — WE didn’t get to SEE it yet! Damn. Oh well. Y’snooze, y’lose.

DON’T LET YOUR LEATHERS GET TRASHED: Our AIM Attorneys hear it all the time; bikers complaining about their leathers being cut off by paramedics after an accident. So, from our field reporter, Oregon AIM Attorney Sam Hochberg, comes a solution for NOT gettin’ your leathers cut: Wear zippers. Wear the type that have a zipper down the entire length of each side of the outside of your chaps or pants, or at the very least, along the outsides of each leg. If you don’t wear that zipper-type, you run a higher risk that the paramedics at the scene will have to cut your leathers off you, right there!

The real reason? If you wanna live, you have to. You can BLEED TO DEATH in about 15 minutes from a pelvic fracture. That area holds up to 2 liters of blood, and THAT’S too much to lose to live very long. The ONLY way to evaluate your injury in a bike wreck is to inspecting the perineum (uh, it’s that area between yer male or female part and your butt-hole, or your “t’ain’t”, like some folks useta call it). Gotta look in that general nether-region for blood pooling.

Paramedics DON’T WANT to cut off your leathers because it’s WAY more complex than just unzipping. Pulling them off is out of the question because that could exacerbate any existing injury. Leathers are so thick, like they oughta be, that they can hide life-threatening injuries, so they HAVE to be cut off. Or unzipped. So get some zippers! Thanks and a tip o’ the stethoscope to the Sack’s source, a paramedic in training up at OHSU!

HONG KONG, CHINA: There are some of us in the USA who think there are too many of the WRONG KINDS of lawsuits, and I know Sam Hochberg and I agree on that. Sure, there are weird, stupid cases. Some shouldn’t be allowed to be filed. But HERE’S a topper Sam ran into at NewsMax.com. According to the South China Morning Post, it seems this Hong Kong woman, Chu-leu, got a bad haircut, so she SUED her beauty parlor! Jeez, lady, the hair WILL grow back! She said she wanted to look like Julia Roberts, but instead “It looked like a broom. Every hair stuck out like an open umbrella which could not be shut. It was horrible. I looked like Osama bin Laden,” she told an unsympathetic judge. The Small Claims Tribunal tossed the case, then had to toss her out too when she refused to leave the courtroom. Hey, if you showed up looking like Osama in a LOT of places here in America, you might be given a good reason to sue somebody!

LITTLE EGG HARBOR TOWNSHIP: I have no idea where it is, but it seems the librarian in this town is quite a celebrity. Maggie Penk isn’t used to being Miss September yet, but it appears the fire marshal believes so, ‘cuz he needed her autograph…

She is one of the dozen Ocean County librarians in leather featured on a new calendar. It’s made up of various Ocean County librarians sitting on a white Harley-Davidson, clad head to toe in leather, some even … reading.

They wanna use the dough they raise towards an $11.6 million expansion to their library, and to bring public attention to it. This one lady, Ms. Penk, useta ride dirt bikes as a kid in Wyoming, so at least for her, scooters aren’t totally unfamiliar. The whole thing was done tongue in cheek, kinda glamorizing the so-called “stuffy” librarians.

The idea worked: $20,000 has been raised so far from these calendars. The county and the state will spend 11.3 million dollars on the project, so their celebrity gig is almost done. Good deal!! Sounds like that bunch of women in England who made TONS of dough doing something similar: Posing nude for a calendar. Most were just ordinary women with ordinary bodies, so it was different!

A QUOTE, for a change: “Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag.” By Alexander Solzhenitsyn, the Russian novelist. He’s best known for his books describing forced labor camps, namely “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich,” in 1962.

RIDERS ED IS for YOU, Bub: Time really flies when yur hav’n fun and we often forget that we are a minority on our roads and highways. Sometime during the off-season for riding, do yourself a favor: Take a riding course. They’re available in most states through nearby colleges. Check with your state Motor Vehicles Department or the bikers rights group in your state for more. Most courses are less than $100.00. Just one thing you learn there can save your life. All of us lose people close to us during every year and it’s heartbreaking. Even if you’re an experienced rider, there’s always something else to learn. We spend much more than the cost of a course on chrome stuff for our ride.

The good news is that motorcycle accidents that have alcohol involvement are down nearly 10%. Maybe the word is getting out that scooters and booze DON’T MIX.

ONE FINAL THOUGHT: Our Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) attorneys across the country are working daily for our benefit and not just on accidents we have had. They provide pro bono or free legal services on numerous issues that affect motorcycling. AIM attorneys serve as legal counsel at all the Confederations of Clubs meetings throughout the U.S.A. and Canada. Not to mention all the time they spend talking to various groups, and dispensing free advice to folks at rallies nationwide. Do yourself a favor and call your nearest AIM attorney if you have an accident, or if you just need some advice on other legal matters; especially anything about motorcycle law. They can even represent you in criminal matters through Aid to Incarcerated Motorcyclists, the “other” AIM.

Nationally, call AIM at 1-800-ON-A-BIKE (or 1-800-531-2424). Remember, these people all ride the same as we do, so they know what our world is all about on the road and in the courts. Sam Hochberg, our Oregon AIM attorney can be reached at 503-224-1106 or toll free at 1-800-347-1106. Sam’s e-mail handle is SamBikeLaw@aol.com, and I’m AIMGunny@aol.com. Give me a shout. I’d love to hear from you.

Keep the round side on the bottom.
Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff

Continued From Page 2

We’d like to introduce all our readers to our esteemed web master, the Digital Gangster. What a nice guy.–Bandit

BIKERNET TRAVEL SERVICE–At a small air terminal in the Texas Panhandle, three strangers areawaiting their shuttle flight. One is a Native American passing through fromOklahoma. Another, a local ranch hand on his way to Ft. Worth for astock show. The third passenger is an Arab student, newly arrived at the Texasoil patch from the Middle East.

The cowpoke leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazinetable,tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outsideblows tumbleweeds and the old windsock flaps, but no plane comes.

To pass the time the other two strike up a conversation on recent eventsand the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the Westernerslearn that the Arab is a devout Muslim. The conversation falls into an uneasylull.

Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly, he speaks:”Once my people were many, now we are few.”

The Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, “Once my people werefew,” he sneers, “and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?”

The Texan shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from thedarkness beneath his Stetson says “Cause we ain’t played Cowboys andMuslims…yet”

–from Al Friedman

BIKERNET WEB SITE RESEARCH–Great web-site for bike events! Enjoy, RChttp://www.motorcycleevents.com/cgi-bin/mea/calendar.pl

–Ron Copple

BIKERNET PEASHOOTER RESEARCH–Since selling the Bikernet 1931 VL restored by Mike Egan, we’ve been on a search for a motorcycle of that era to replace the VL. Bandit was intrigued by Peashooters, or singles that were built from 1926-33, a 30.5 model. Actually the Peashooter title was given to the racing units. Well, we’re looking for part, pieces, a basket to get started.

Our first contact was with a European gentleman who is selling his ’29 on the website George’s Antique Bike Trader. Here’s what he had to say, but never gave us a price:

“I find it in the north part of Finland for some years ago. I went up some 700 kms and bought it prompt. The Peashooter is an original bike with original register papers and original register sign as well, and as far as I know I am the third ownner.

” The Engine is in good order and I took part of or tradional parade with the bike 1st of may this year, so it is runnable. My personal interest as always been among British and some Italians which make the reason why I might sell the bike.

“Anyway I do not think it is easy to find a “Peashooter” as used original bike like this with complete known history. And it has not been on the local market or any attempt from me here to sell it.

“As far as I know, H-D started production of “Peashooters” one year afterIndian did.The reason why, was actually two, I think.
-The Eurpean market
-Racing
Besides racers there were 3 diffrent types: A,AB and B
-One ohv with magneto
-One sv with magneto
-One sv with generator and same ignition system and frame like the 750
-Mine is one of the last named type.

Any way my knowledge in the area of H-Ds is not particulary good, but thisbike I could not resist so when I find it, I bought it prompt about a yearago.”

Regards and all the best for 2003

–Harry W. Nordlund

WORKING–I don’t know about your area of the country but a growing trend here isforpeople to get lazy. It is not uncommon for as many as 14 to 18peopleto stand around and watch only one person work. The situation isalmostout of hand, hope it is not happening in your area asmuch…………………

–from Bob T.

DYNA FAT TIRE KIT–Big Boar products now offers a complete fat tire kit for all Harley-Davidson Dyna Glide model motorcycles. If your Dyna Glide is making big ponies you need a fat rear tire to ghet that power to the ground. The Big Boar kit includes: Wide Swing arm, Wide rear composite fender, motor sporocket shaft extension., extra length transmission main shaft & fifth gear, primary cover spacers, transmission pulley spacer, all required gaskets & seals, extra length clutch push rod, fender rail bolts and shock top bolts & spacers. Absolutely everything you need to go fat with your Dyna is included. Big Boar quality is present in every component.

BIKERNET HELMET LAW HISTORY–BY BILL BISH

1961 The first compulsory helmet law in the world took effect in Victoria, Australia, on January 1st.

1966 Georgia adopts the first helmet law in the U.S. Later that year, U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) threatens to withhold millions of dollars in highway funds from states failing to enact helmet laws. By 1969, 41 states comply.

1969 Illinois repeals their helmet law as unconstitutional.

1975 Helmet use is required in 47 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico. The Secretary of Transportation initiates legal proceedings against California, Utah and Illinois to withhold highway funds due to non-compliance.

1976 Congress amends the Highway Safety Act, revoking DOT authority to require states to adopt helmet laws and preventing the Secretary from imposing fiscal sanctions. By 1977, 23 states repeal or modify their helmet laws.

1983 Wyoming passes an under 18 amendment to their mandatory helmet law, leaving only 19 states with a helmet requirement for all riders.

1988 – 91 Helmet laws reinstated in Oregon (passed by public referendum, effective 6/16/88), Nebraska (eff. 1/1/89), Texas (eff. 9/1/89), Washington (eff. 6/7/90) and California (eff. 1/1/92).

1991 – 95 Congress passes the Intermodel Surface Transportation Efficiency Act of 1991 (ISTEA), a massive highway bill which includes a requirement that states pass both helmet and seat belt laws by Sept 31, 1993 or transfer certain federal highway funds into safety programs. Only Maryland complies (10/1/92), making 25 states with full helmet laws, 22 states with modified laws excluding most adults, and 3 states with no helmet law.

1995 On November 28, President Clinton signs the National Highway System Designation Act (NHS), a highway bill which includes a repeal of the federal ISTEA helmet mandates.

1997-present Effective August 1, 1997, Arkansas repeals their mandatory helmet law to apply only to those under 21. Texas soon follows, repealing their helmet law effective September 1, 1997 for riders 21 and older who have either completed a motorcycle safety course or carry a minimum $10,000 medical insurance. Effective July 15, 1998, the state of Kentucky repeals mandatory helmet law for riders 21 and older who can show proof of medical insurance. Effective August 15, 1999, Louisiana amends its helmet law to exempt riders 18 and older with a minimum $10,000 in medical insurance. Effective July 1, 2000, Florida amends their helmet law to exempt riders 21 and older with $10,000 minimum medical insurance.

–Bill Bish, NCOMBish@aol.com

THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!)– Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, anhour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating,were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t gettheirbrand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost everymaneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour oftrying to makeit go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tellthemwhat was wrong.

A thorough topside check revealed everything inperfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up anddown,and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marinaguys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water,he waslaughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER… THIS IS TRUE … Under the boat,still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

–from Rogue

DAVE BARR SETS NEW RECORD– “I’ve established my second world record. I road a Sportster to the 4 extreme compass points of the continent of Australia, much of it through the outback. I’m working with a company that is making a documentary of the journey and is aiming to get it on to mainstream TV,” Dave told recently. He’ll be in the Guiness world book for records for this trip. We carry a book on some of Dave’s other exploits. You can pick one up in the Gulch.

–Dave Barr
cleobarr@earthlink.net

“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.”

– – Paul Rodriguez

–from Kris B.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES–I don’t get as much time in the garage as I would like, so when I’m working with tools, I want to knock out each project with aplomb and success. In other words I want to get the job done and get back on the road, quick. So I started tinkering with some tubing a local muffler shop gave me to work with. This is aluminum coated steel tubing. I cut the chunks I needed and attempted to dovetail the rings together with the center strap.

According to the mechanic at the shop this was a doable procedure. Sorta, if you want to fight through the aluminum coating with a torch. From that point on my perfectly thought-out design fell apart until I was forced to give up and return to the headquarters. If the news is scrambled in one aspect or another, it’s because my mind has been locked into solving the shaky underpinnings of the carburetor system on my Panhead. It’s either that or sex.

The bike is running so well I’m tempted to ride it to Sturgis. If only I can muster the ingenuity to solve the mounting/air cleaner complexities of dual carbs, I may make it out of town.

Have a helluva weekend.

–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

FIRST CALIFORNIA HELMET PROTEST IN YEARS THIS WEEKEND–Commander Bandit, Yah Tah Hey. Attention On Deck! First Helmet Protest in California in’a long f…in’ time! Monday, Jan. 13th, in Sac. Just got word from Ghost Mtn. Riders mc. They will be headin’ there Sunday.

I still believe it can be done. Check with your loco mob & ride TOGETHER.

–Ride On! Wino Joe,USA

TBEAR IS FEATURED IN NEW YORK POST– OK, so they picked up two of my features this time. Does that mean I get to be famous for 30 minutes?

http://specialsections.nypost.com/news/nypost/nypride/20030109/p46.asp

http://specialsections.nypost.com/news/nypost/nypride/20030109/p57.asp

Me Mudder is so proud that my name and photo isn’t under a WANTED banner this time.

–TB

PS. they will only have this up till tomorrow if you want to snag it.

Writer’s Panhead, not the Red Baron. See Home Page for feature.

RED BARON UPDATE–Just saw the feature on the “Red Baron” sled, if you haven’t tracked down the origin of the headlight on that sled it’s likely Bob Phillips. Bob formerly co-owned Wizard Studios, then worked with Red Racing in Boca for a while before he was let go. He did the initial fab work on my ’57 Pan before Sean Reid wrapped it up after I’d run it a few months. I think GIANTC was offering it for some time, not sure if those guys are still in business. I believe Biker’s Discount in Plantation has one in their display case, 954-327-7177.

Thanks for posting my piece on the FL Toy Run. I’m headed up to Bike Week with Jose’s buddy Wicho & a few of my friends, more than happy to shoot over pics & text if you like…

–Kev

AHDRA SANCTION–WINSTON-SALEM, NC – Following an announcement that Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts will move the Nitro Harley program to the AHDRA sanction, Craig Tharpe, President of AHDRA says he and his staff are geared up for a thrilling year for both racers and fans.

“We are very excited to have Screamin’ Eagle step up their involvement in AHDRA. With the support from Screamin’ Eagle, and the many sponsors already on board for 2003, we will no doubt host the best venue for motorcycle drag racing in the world,” Tharpe commented.

$18,000 in prize winnings will be awarded at each event in the AHDRA Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley competition, with an additional $64,500 to be awarded at the AHDRA awards banquet for the Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley National Points Championship. The 2003 points fund will be distributed as follows.

#1 – $25,000 #2 – $15,000 #3 – $7,500 #4 – $5,000 #5 – $4,000 #6 – $3,000 #7 – $2,000 #8 – $1,500 #9 – $1,000 #10 – $500

A three (3) race NHRA Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley exhibition tour will be held at NHRA POWERade Drag Racing Series events. The exhibitions will be held at Bristol Dragway in Bristol, TN; Route 66 Raceway in Joliet, IL; and Texas Motorplex in Ennis, TX

Screamin’ Eagle will invite the top 14 AHDRA point leaders based on AHDRA events year to date to participate in the NHRA exhibition events.

Each exhibition winner will be awarded a special trophy and participate in an NHRA Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley winners circle ceremony at the conclusion of each event. Total event purse for the eight-bike field is $11,500 with $4,000 going to the winner and $2,000 to the runner-up.

“This is more great news for the Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley competitors,” Craig Tharpe added. “This will certainly increase the competition level in the 2003 AHDRA points chase. We fully support and welcome the valued exposure the Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley teams will receive at the NHRA POWERade Drag Racing events.”

AHDRA will make stops at several new tracks during the 2003 season, including two appearances at The Strip at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, and first time appearances in Atlanta, Dallas, Topeka and Indianapolis.

For more information call AHDRA at 336-924-2095 or visit www.ahdra.com.

OZARK ED REPORT–just a note to let you know that all’s well out here. I’ve stayed out of trouble, but next month my little juvee girl is turning 21, so I have to cook up something for her in the way of a celebration. remember Johnny Snake? He’s the guy who travels with construction and his ugly ass old lady was messing with Skitzo, and we were saying get you a front end out of the deal. Well Snake ain’t as stupid as she thought. She was doing the whole internet chat room, meet me thing and Snake caught on to it.

He had a buddy of his show him how to do the internet and he started chatting with her, but she didn’t know it was him. He was using the computor at work. He printed out a bunch of shit, took it to his lawyer, and now he’s counting his money. Snake might have a new bike by summer. His old lady is calling my girl and giving her all the details. So natch, I’m hearing all the scoop. I’m sure this will entertain us all for a month or so. Philip got his Hells Angel patch so he’s really proud.

We’ve had a few good riding days this month. me and Titty bar Mike went Sunday and had a great ride. It was in the 60’s with a bright sun. That’s tolerable. I didn’t even need chaps, although I took them and put them on after dark. I’ll keep you up on the good shit. It’s just winter and nothing much happens.

–Ozark Ed

BOYCOTT MYRTLE BEACH– Boycott 2003 Myrtle Beach Spring Motorcycle Rally and Horry CountyMyrtle Beach, SC — During the early morning hours of May 18, 2002 two motorcyclists were killed when a veteran Horry County Police officer failed to yield the right-of way. As of this date no charges have been filed. OR, “no charges are pending and none are expected. As a result” all motorcyclists are invited to join an ongoing boycott of Horry County and attend alternate activities during the week of May 9-18, 2002. For more information, check the “Events” section at www.AbateSC.com

The incident prompting this action occurred during the 2002 Myrtle Beach Spring Motorcycle Rally. Lance CPL. James J. Costello, badge number 466, failed to obey a yield sign and collided with a Boss Hoss carrying two people. Victoria Lee Zickafoose of Georgia and Charles Eugene Heyde Sr. of Michigan died as a result of this preventable accident.

Costello had been with the Horry County Sheriff’s Department 15 years at the time of his accident. Just prior to the 2002 Fall Motorcycle Rally, Horry County Solicitor Greg Hebree decided not to charge Costello in the deaths of the two motorcyclists. This incident and failure to bring appropriate charges has motivated bikers to take action.

For more information about the accident, including portions of the official fatality accident report, go to www.AbateSC.com

The goals of this boycott are multi-faceted:

1.Increase motorcycle awareness in a meaningful and powerful way.
2.Achieve justice for our fallen brother and sister and show that no one in America is above the law, even if they are the law.
3.Alert Horry County officials that they are being held responsible for this injustice.
4.Alert everyone that our hard-earned dollars will be spent in a more biker-friendly community and we support an alternative rally in that community.

Actions motorcyclists and their friends and family can take:

1.Stay away from Horry County and spend your money elsewhere.
2.Spread the word to all motorcyclists, friends, and family.
3.Write to elected officials in Horry County and advise them of your efforts and why you are undertaking them.
4.Write to those who own businesses in Horry County asking them to take political action.
5.Attend an alternate rally such as the Charleston Heritage Motorcycle Rally April 16-20, 2003.
6.Help stage and support protests.

BIKERNET PROMOTIONS–Just wanted you to know I’m doing my part and promoting my favorite website- www.bikernet.com.

I have links from two of my websites, to Bikernet.com

The sites are :
www.ridefortheheroes.com
www.sevenhorsemenmc.com

Maybe one of your staff will be in NY on August first for the 3rd annualJoseph Angelini & Joseph Angelini Jr. Ride for the Heroes. If not we’lltake lots of pics and send them to you.

Keep up the good work. Don’t let it go to his Caribbean head, but I evenlike Jose’s rants and raves 🙂

All the best,
–Frank Falco – NY

Continued On Page 3

Ever had one of those days in the garage that didn’t work out but was a learning experience? I’ve been tinkering with my ’48 Panhead with the dual Mikunis. First time around I made guards so that my pant leg wouldn’t shut off the carbs. They worked fine, but I didn’t like the fact that I had absolutely no filtration. I bought a couple of dirt bike foam socks and pulled them over my contraptions. They worked, but could be perfected. That’s what I attempted to do unsuccessfully yesterday. I’ll dive more into that subject later, we better get to the news:

PM Wheels For 2003–For 2003, PM is releasing 3 entirely new wheel designs. The Vader is a throwback to the origins of custom motorcycle wheels with a major update in technology! This clean and subtle wheel will look at home on a retro chopper as well as a modern bagger. The Gatlin is an entirely fresh design that seems to defy all previous perception of what can be carved from aluminum. The spokes burst from the hub into a web before splitting into individual talons and meeting the rim. Finally the Hooligan is a study in machined aluminum detailing. Each spoke shows more depth and contours as it emerges from the hub.

As with all Performance Machine products, the 2003 wheels have been subjected to rigorous testing to ensure a high quality, long lasting product. Design matched discs, pulley and sprocket are available to complete the distinctive look. Polished or chrome plated wheels are offered in a variety of sizes to fit your bike!

For more information, call or write to:

Performance Machine, Inc.

6892 Marlin Circle,

La Palma, CA 90623

714-523-3000

http://www.performancemachine.com

EASYRIDERS SHOW FEATURE BIKE SOLD-LOOKING FOR A NEW PANHEAD– I just sold the purple ’56 pan/shovel that was in ER and am looking hard for a “rough” Pan or Pan basket. Gonna do a late 50’s/early 60’s bobber this time. If you know of any leads I’d appreciate it.

–Mike Trussell

AHDRA ANNOUNCES NEW “HOT STREET” CLASS FOR 2003, SPONSORED BY DRAG MASTERS,INC.– WINSTON-SALEM, NC: The AHDRA has announced a brand newclass for the 2003 season, adding to the 14 classes of competition alreadyoffered by the sanction, entering their 26th year of drag racing.

The “Hot Street” class, sponsored by Drag Master, Inc., is a “heads up”class, reserved for street legal Sportsters, Buells, Big Twins andproduction aftermarket motorcycles. They must have a valid registration andlicense tag (no dealer tags). The “Drag Master Hot Street” requirementsinclude a bike and rider weight ratio of 8lbs per cubic inch and a maximumof 98 cubic inches. (Minimum weight at conclusion of run, including rider).The AHDRA National Points Series kicks off March 3rd in Gainesville,Florida.

For more information on AHDRA competition or the 2003 National PointsSeries, contact 336-924-2095 or visit www.ahdra.com.

A NEW DAVID MANN?–We’ve worked with Chris Kallas, who rides a bone stock 1970 FLH for a few years. His prints are in our gulch for sale. They’re cheap compared to some art prints on the market and his work is cool.

Well, the other day we turned Chris onto the staff of HORSE and he might become the David Mann of a new era. This is a shot of Chris at the LA Calendar show last year taken by Bikernet photog Helen Wolfe. Chris is going to help us put together a line of stickers for the new year. Watch for his stuff in HORSE and on Bikernet.

BIKERNET TAHITI RUN–We’ve finally put together an intimate run just a handful of riders who want to escape to a faraway place with the organizer, TBear, the staff of Bikernet, Jose, Billy Lane and a handful of other builders and riders. Hell, there’s only 10 seats left. So you can’t ride to Tahiti, we’ll have bikes waiting once we get there. Check this link for all the square information on the trip of a lifetime. http://www.mhcable.com/~tbear/BikersInParadise.1.JPG

DODGE BUILDS A MOTORCYCLE–DETROIT (Reuters) – The Detroit auto show has seen a lot of concept cars over the decades, but a four-wheel motorcycle powered by a 500-horsepower V-10 engine is a first.

The Tomahawk Concept (Dodge Concept Vehicle)This is the wild one. Imagine a 500-horsepower Viper engine on wheels. No chassis or body, just wheels. That’s the Tomahawk. Wolfgang Bernard, outfitted in the requisite leather jacket, drove this concept onstage.

This 4-wheel motorbike is a mechanical sculpture, with nothing but outrageous performance in mind. Weighing only 1,500 lbs., the Tomahawk can reach 60 mph in just 2.5 seconds. Top speed is estimated to be around 300 mph, but that hasn’t been verified. When Dieter Zetsche, president and CEO of the Chrysler Group asked if this vehicle would ever be produced, the response was, “maybe,” which is more than many other automaker execs would have granted.

The Bike was unveiled that the NAIAS in Detriot.

–from Rogue

GETTIN’ OUTTA DODGE– Tom had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a huge, bearded man standing there.

“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road…Having a Christmas party Friday night… Thought you might like to come. About 5:00…”

“Great,” says Sam, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you… There’s gonna be some drinkin’.”

“Not a problem,” says Tom. “After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em.” Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

Sam says, “Well, I get along with people, I’ll be alright. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”

Once again Lars turns from the door. “More’n likely be some wild sex, too.”

“Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”

Lars stops in the door again and says, “Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us.”

–from Chris T.

TERMINATOR 2 FROM BEAUMONT, TEXAS– Here are some shots of the Terminator 2 built by Sonny Keeton of BeaumontTexas.Not the best background but this is what I saw and shot.

Bike has since been finished and is scheduled to debut in the Easyridersshow 1/11/03 in Denver. It should be a BIG HIT.

For more info and possibly more photos contact Sonny at Custom Motorcyclesharley5338@yahoo.com or call 409-832-8992

–ROGUE

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Time is going by so fast I just noticed my news was due… So here we go, and no half-ass job even though it’s 3:00 am in lovely Puerto Rico, and I just got back from working on my new chopper.

Anyway, as you might as well know the trip to Tahiti is happening, and up to now, I’m going….yep, from one island to the other, on opposite sides of the World. To me it seems kinda stupid, paradise to paradise, but what the hell, this might be one of the few chances I (and all of us) might get to go to French Polynesia and have a grand time. It’s not the same going to a place and not knowing people. It’s a whole different ball game when a bunch of friendly locals will take care of the whole group, and knowing island people, they will outdo themselves to make us have the very best time. I guess you might be guessing what are the plans while there? One thing I can tell you is FUCK THE BIKES !!! I already have a map of all the surfing spots that Billy and I will be hitting. Lot’s of doing nothing and maybe, just maybe, a short putt around for photographic purposes only…. I guess just what I would do in Puerto Rico if I wasn’t always up to my neck in work (plus the kick ass San Juan nightlife). I’m sure that those who can’t make it will read about it here and in The Horse….after you die with envy. I’m sure it’s going to be a great time, and just the start of many trips and more lucky people that will be able to make it.Who know’s maybe the next one could be Puerto Rico…

I just received the new Kopteri magazine from Finland, it has the Smoke out, Discovery and Sturgis coverage, as always the photos are top notch and too bad that my Finnish is not rusty, but non existent since I’m sure the text is even better. There’s a lot of cool photos, I’ll try to scan some and post them here in later reports.These guys put a giant effort to bring that magazine to the public and it shows. Congrats to my good friend Dollar.

On the progress of my new chopper, it’s leaps and bounds from last week, the last of the parts rolled in, and the full mock up will be seen next week, same bat place, same bat day, same bat site…I guess you are wondering…No ranting and raving tonight ??? Yea right, you could only be so fuckin’ lucky…..

Every single day, if you learn something new, it’s well worth the day… I was doing stuff at the shop, this and that, fitting and making stuff up, but for a couple things I needed to weld, yeap big surprise, Jose can’t weld…So what ! Anyway, the welder was not around so I took the Lincoln, fired it up, got a metal plate and pop corned the shit out of it. You know what…after half an hour I was doing pretty decent welds. I just processed the input in a way I could comprehend, by sound, feel and noticing how the welds worked. It took a bunch of scraps and an hour before I got it pretty decent (I can’t weld, but I certainly can tell from a good weld and a bad one). I’m sure with more practice and time I can do welds that I’m happy with. It’s amazing, just by paying attention and being in tune with the elements, I mastered this craft. What’s the whole purpose of this? Not to praise my newly found welding skills, just the amazement of discovering and learning something new, even as simple and unattractive as that. The complexity of simplicity.

There’s no news today, Why? well since I’ve been holed up at the shop building bikes I really don’t know what’s going on, but I hope that next week we will find stuff to report. Anyway, our Road King will be completed tomorrow. The mock ups will be ready for next week and another couple bikes will start as well. So there’s going to be lot’s of project photos soon. But the Daytona bikes won’t be seen ’till Bike Week, just to keep the copycats in the dark (que pasa Weasels?) and build some expectations for our booth. Remember, Choppers Inc, and The Horse and us will be sharing a booth in Beach Street. Come by say hi, and if there are any gripes, I will be the dude with the dreadlocks and full sleeve tattoos….

Time to call it a day…
–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet report and third in command….

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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common…. They should both be changed regularly — and for the same reason.

–from Kristine J.

Revtech? ?DFO Intake System? For High-Performance Fuel Injected Models–Painless performance for EFI models! Monster mid-range! More peak power! This high-performance induction system consists of an oversized CNC billet throttle body, a high-flow cast intake manifold and a pre-set DFO fuel injection module to bolt-on to EFI Twin Cam Harley Davidson? models from 1995 to present. The throttle body is available in two sizes, 3 mm oversized from stock for mild tuned motors, and 6 mm oversized for big-inch motors using performance cylinder heads.This throttle body accepts all the stock sensors, throttle cables, components, and your existing stock or performance air cleaner. The intake manifold has been line-bored to match each of these 2 sizes and has been designed to increase flow and performance. A special DFO fuel injection module is included to optimize the fuel requirements of any application and/or combination of engine components you might put together.

672000 3mm oversize DFO Intake Systemfor Magneto-Marelli fuel-injected models . . . . . . . .$799.95

672001 6mm oversize DFO Intake Systemfor Magneto-Marelli fuel-injected models . . . . . . .$799.95

670002 3mm oversize DFO Intake Systemfor Delphi fuel-injected models . . . . . . . .$749.95

670003 6mm oversize DFO Intake Systemfor Delphi fuel-injected models . . . . . . .$749.95

BIKERNET CHARITY STUDY FINDINGS– MARCO ISLAND, Florida (AP) — The Salvation Army has returned a $100,000 donation from a Florida Lotto winner because an organization leader didn’t want to take money associated with gambling.

David L. Rush, 71, announced the gift last week. He held one of four winning tickets in the $100 million Florida Lotto jackpot drawing of December 14 and took the $14.3 million lump-sum payment.

Maj. Cleo Damon, head of the Salvation Army office in Naples, Florida, told Rush that he could not take his money and returned the check, which another official had accepted.

“There are times where Major Damon is counseling families who are about to become homeless because of gambling,” spokeswoman Maribeth Shanahan said. “He really believes that if he had accepted the money, he would be talking out of both sides of his mouth.”

Rush also donated $100,000 to Habitat for Humanity and $50,000 to the Rotary Club of Marco Island. Both groups accepted the gifts.

“There’s no bigger gamble than investing in the stock market,” said Rush, a financial adviser. “For them to say this is gambling is an overstatement.”

BIKERNET READER’S SHOWCASE, IT’S SORTA NEW–Well between the rotten, mangy mutt that’s been tearing through my garbage cans and stealing cushions off the back porch as well as taking my dog’s virginity ( picturesilly short chick running through the mud, pistol in hand), cooking holiday feasts, painting another Road King, and ignoring the telephone ( and who was that who called me at 12:30 am New Years Day? I was very busy lighting fireworks and shooting guns,) it’s been a little intense around here.

I even got a little tipsy at a Christmas Eve party thrown by Bandit’s second favorite redhead, the lovely Jennifer. Now that was an interesting drive home. Hubby was scared sober. Ha! About time.

But we have got a couple of killer entries in Reader’s Showcase currently. Buddy-Ox, a sly guy outta South Florida has two very nice rides he’s showing off, plus he tells us about a wild afternoon, compete with Bomb Scare, that he had at the Big Toys In The Sun Run.

This section, where guys can enter their own bikes, is working. We’re seeing bikes of all types and it’s free to enter your bike and tell your story. I’ll keep you posted as new rides come in.

–Crazy Horse

SEGAL FINE ART CENTURY COLLECTION– Segal Fine Art is proud to announce the release of our Century Collection. This 2003 collection will eventually feature six images (2 each by Scott Jacobs, Tom Fritz and David Uhl).

The first three paintings will be officially unvieled at the Winter Dealer Meeting. (You are seeing them here for the first time)

Each image is printed on the highest quality giclee CANVAS and masterfully framed. For the first time we are offering a true pre-publication price structure. Check our site for details.www.segalfineart.com

Whether you order these collectible pieces as merchandise or as a set of matching numbers for your personal collection, you will be very impressed by the quality of each image. These are over-sized canvases with a special Century Collection frame package and plaque.

As we enter this most exciting year, enthusiasts and collectors will be made aware of the Century Collection and the demand is expected to greatly exceed the supply. Only 250 of these works will be produced and each is hand-signed and numbered, identical to the 100th Anniversary Collection. Also there will be NO other version (ie. lithographs or posters) made of these images. I am available to answer questions and take orders at 800-999-1297.

Have an incredible New Year!
My Best, Ron Copple

NEW CUSTOM CHROME CATALOG WILL ROCK INDUSTRY– The ’03 “combined” catalog is FINALLY going tothe printer… and it’s a MONSTER!!! Wait and see when you get one atIndy… eh? 27,000 friggin’ part numbers…. 1500 pages … AND we’re gonnahave plenty of’em on CD’s as well.

Custom Chrome and Chrome Specialties are finally combined in one catalog. Watch out!

IMPORTANTNOTICE–Effective 1 January 2003, all K-MART & WALMART Storesin IRAQ will be CLOSED.They will be replaced with TARGETS…….

–from Bob T.

THE NIGHT HAS FALLEN–I had an ending all worked out, but it’s gone now. Suppose I’ll write what’s in my heart. We have a wonderful life here and all over this goddamn country. Sure, life is packed with too much bullshit, but generally it’s cool. So let’s make it just as cool as we possibly can for all of 2003.

Yeah, I’m getting reports for service people all over the country who aren’t coming home but heading toward the middle east. On the other hand we have the H-D anniversary to look forward too, the ride to Sturgis, a trip to crystal clear waters of Tahiti, and a creative spirit and passion for romance that never dies. Life can’t get much better.

May your new year be packed with opportunities to buy parts cheap, dry roads, no cops watching and romance with the right girls (or whatever). Make it a year that you want to write about.

–Bandit

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HEY BANDIT—My aunt Gerty wants to buy a Harley. I told her she isn’t ready for a Harley yet. She needs a little more practice on her take offs. I thought maybe you could let her practice on your bike a few times to get the hang of it. She will be over at your house in the morning. I enclosed a picture of her.

Thanks–BOB T.

You know the rule, relative or not, no fat chicks.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Well guys, it’s 2003 and I’m still around, good or bad, like it or not….. I guess those fuckers that keep ” predicting” that the World will be over soon got another reality check…The joke is on them…for now..Since it’s a whole new year, we will start from scratch, the slate will be cleared to place new mayhem, new antics, new controversy….Or maybe not ? I know some people will cheer and some will cast stones, like always, don’t take what you read here too seriously, read between the lines, and just take it for what it is, another guy venting his thoughts in a casual forum. Anyway what the fuck do I know. I just live in a small tropical island, ride and build choppers for a living. And I’ll continue to write a speck on this industry…. So enjoy yourself in this new year, and hold on for the ride…

Now, since I’m on the new year stuff, I know everyone has resolutions, “I ‘ll quit smoking, no more hookers, I’ll drink less, get on a diet, work less, work more” Everyone has something they don’t want to do anymore. I have stuff I want to do, yeah some of the things that happened in 2002 are going into the page of stuff that happened, some will be lessons learned, some will fade from memory, but most will go to the page of—” How the fuck can I top that?”

So here we go. This is what I want for 2003, mind you, reachable goals, no stuff like orgies at the Playboy mansion (which would be great, but a bit far fetched) and again things that are already planned and sort of confirmed (nothing is ever etched in stone) will stay off this little wishing list:

I will work on getting one of my bikes in Easyriders magazine. Yep, it’s just a goal, not of the outmost importance but just a goal that was set many, many years ago…

I will be the same kind of person, human, as I’ve always been, I mean good or bad….

I’ll be there, always, for my brothers, people that love me, and family.

I refuse to give rubbies, wannabe’s, hoggers and all those a break, No fucking way ! Since I can’t name them all, let’s generalize a bit…

I’ll attack what I consider as wrong and defend what I consider is right…. I’ll defend friends and ignore foes, not caring if my opinion is asked for, I’ll give it anyway !

I want more time to enjoy things, more bike trips, meet more people and respect those who deserve to be respected.

I want my business to be successful enough so I can keep on building bikes (which is what I like) without worries. I have no interest in being rich, just have enough to do what I do.

I would love another Discovery ride/ show, here in PR or any other place, I really don’t care about the cameras, but the fun and good times we had were priceless.

I wish for the success and growth of all my friends projects/ business

I won’t ride a new, nor stock bike, I won’t have anything with a TC 88 unless it’s a rigid chopper has a separate tranny and a kick start.

Ok, let’s stop all the wishing, even thought there’s some very personal goals, and of course I won’t share them with half the World (that’s why they are personal !!!!) So let’s go on…

I’m still waiting for a couple parts for my new Chopper, almost everything is here but I need those two or three components to be able to do the full mock up and start welding, it’s getting kind of frustrating. I wanted to have the whole thing together by yesterday, but, what you gonna do. With all the Holiday chaos it’s not easy to get the stuff down here. I guess that’s a small thing, the joy of seeing the UPS person ringing the bell….besides other things….

I have been using small shops of friends for most of my stuff, (what I have not done at my shop I mean), very few parts are from well known companies, only the ones I’ve been working with for many, many years…. I’ll work on something pretty soon about the whole build. I’m just holding because other shop owners here, our pseudo competitors, are such scum sucking ,copy cat, mother fuckers that I have to hide stuff and even company names from them. What a bitch, ain’t it ? Anyway here’s a list of friends who have helped with our new projects (yep projects, we are taking five new bikes to Daytona !!! ):Accutronix, Twisted Choppers, Black Bike, Choppers Inc, West Coast Choppers, Avon, Custom Chrome/ Chrome Specialties, Shamrock Fabrication, Voodoo Choppers, Clayton Machine Works, Diamond, Exile Cycles, Forking by Franks, Rivera Primo, PDQ seats, etc , etc… thanks guys you all rock! (and if I forgot someone, sorry ! )

Our Chopper Freak ™ point covers will be soon available thru our web site and at The Horse magazine, now that I finally got them made !

We are on the new Kopteri Magazine from Finland (actually all of us) the Discovery ride, The Horse Smoke out and Sturgis, it’s number 48 in case you speak Finnish or can get you hands on it.

And now to the news (like I wasn’t doing that before….)

Congratulations to Bill and Renay from WCC that tied the noose yesterday, two finer people you won’t find. I guess there’s a marrying bug around the Anaheim street shop, maybe us single guys should pay a visit…. ( I mean those who want to commit matricide).

I took a sneak peek at Choppers Inc. bikes for the VQ and Camel, but I’m keeping those secret for a while, I promise as soon as I can I will release the photos, hold on tight, they are fucking wicked ! Billy is working like a madman, but totally outdoing his previous cool stuff…..

I just did an interview for our new local magazine Biker Spot, as well as an interview of Billy Lane, this issue will be all about choppers, those guys are doing a very good job, let’s see what the future holds.

Our Chopper Freak ™ T-shirt line has been a hit, we are already getting dealer aps for the shirts, if you own a shop give me a call, or e-mail…. Wow, I never even thought about it, till they started calling asking for them…. Thanks to all who have ordered…. I will keep asking what bike do you ride before getting the order….

Our friend Wicho just scored a ’52 pan that Warren Lane put together many moons ago. The bike is tits, welcome to the world of old school….One more guy coming to his senses… Hey reader how about you ?? Make that a New Year resolution… ” note to myself… get an old chopper , rigid , jockey shift and kick start, learn how to ride…. ”

Anyway…. I’m out of here, it’s New years day, I hate football and I have a few Choppers to put together, gotta work hard if I want to make it to Tahiti… by the way, any good looking chicks that might want to go???

Once more Happy New Year.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Reporter. (soon unleashing the gates of Hell )

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BIKERNET TAHITI ESCAPE IS COMING TOGETHER–Tired of the “usual” runs and events?How about Tahiti this year instead of Daytona?The Tahiti Harley Riders Club invite you to come over and visit one of thelast true Paradises on earth. Unspoiled beaches and some of the friendliestpeople you’ll ever enjoy meeting. Join us for the Trip of a lifetime.

Wehave some friends there and they’re waiting to show you their world famoushospitality. See why the crew of the H.M.S. Bounty didn’t want to go home.We’re taking only 24 lucky people with us this trip. Two nights in Papeetethen 4 nights on the enchanted island of Moorea where the crew of the Bountydiscovered the charms of French Polynesia. Don’t be left behind. The trip isfirst come first serve so make your plans and arrangements today.

So far, here’s the scoop.Alain Bernard from Tahiti Legends and Jean-Noel from the Sofitel have put it all together for us. I’ll be getting the formal paper work in a few days but here is how it boils down so far.

March 26th–April 3, Appx $1425 per person, double occupancy including round trip air from L.A. A few days at the Sofitel Maeva Beach in Papeete with the Tahiti Harley Riders then a hop over to the Sofitel La Ora on Moorea. There are 24 openings or 12 rooms.

The club will do 1/2 day rentals for around $100 each. This $$$ goes to the Tahiti Kids’ Charity. We’ll get together with them and have a beach party as well.

We already have seven couple on board so the seats are slim. To sign up touch on the link below: CamilleC@TahitiLegends.com

Here is the itinerary:
Wed 26-March Depart Los Angeles for Papeete 10:35 pm
Thurs 27-March Arrive Tahiti 5:10 am
27-March-29 March Sofitel Maeva Beach
Garden View Room- 2 breakfasts included
Saturday 29 March Ferry over to Moorea
Sat march 29-April 2 Sofitel La Ora Hotel
Garden Bungaloow- 4 breakfasts included
Wed April 2- Ferry back to Papeete
Depart Tahiti for Los Angeles 10:45 pm
Thursday Apr 3 arrive L.A. 8:15 am
Flights on Air Tahiti Nui Airlines
price $1,425 per person. Double occupancy
Harleys will be available for rental courtesy of the Tahiti Harley RidersClub at both hotel locations… This is separate from the package price andwill be available on a 1/2 day basis, proceeds from the bike rentals will goto benefit the clubs work with underprivileged children in Tahiti. It’s a $100 p.p deposit at time of reservation and the balance will be due by Feb 12th. The purpose is to help the club there raise money for their work with the islands under privileged kids by renting their bikes out.

–TBear

BIKERNET HISTORY LESSON–How did street names for Harley motors originate? I don’t know but,here are a few of my non-researched thoughts. Sure, we had pocketvalve and the pea shooter but the one that started it all for the v-twin was Flat Head. This name however was not unique to Harley motors. It was a common name used by mechanics for any side valve motor, be ita lawn mower, car, truck, or motorcycle. It also happens to be theonly one of the Harley motor names that is accurate.

The rest you see,are really describing the rocker box not the head. ‘Look at that guyon the cool Pan rocker box’ doesn’t quite have a ring to it though doesit? Considering that Flat Head was not unique to, and did notoriginate with Harley the person that stuck the name Knuckle Head onthe next run of engines is the true creator of the trend.

The reasonKnuckle Head became widely used may have been for reasons other than aslick name for a motor. In that era you would often hear the nameknucklehead and it had nothing to do with engines. You might haveheard a school principal or your local constable yelling it at someone. It was a name given to a screw up, a trouble makers, and maybeoutlaws. I have an idea that bikers got a kick out of calling theirmachine a knucklehead and that may have been the reason we are stillnaming Harley motors by the style of heads (rocker boxes) that are stuckon the top.

It is obvious how they came up with Pan and Shovel. Thenwe had quite a lot of debate on the Evolution motor. Many didn’t evenfeel it was worthy of such an honored tradition. I’m not sure why, theengine case was almost identical in looks to the cone Shovel. The mostnotable change was, of course, the heads. After all the dust settledthe name Block Head was generally accepted.

The noise was no were nearas loud when it came time to come up with yet another motor name forthe TC88 and that brings me to the reason I started all of this babblein the first place. I was wondered why no one has started a discussionabout a name for the Revolution engine.

Woo, if the old school boysdidn’t like naming the Evo they’re really going to hate naming thisone. Well, I spent some time thinking about a name for the new beast. The only one that seems fit is “Wet Head.” Hummm … wasn’t there anad slogan in the 70’s something like “the wet head is dead?”

FTW,
–Stroker

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This will be a completely screwy news section. It feels too close to the Holidays, like we should continue the party. Okay, why not? We will, so I’ll keep the business end short and sweet.

We sat down the other day and started kicking around goals for 2003. We plan to publish another book and it may be Badlands with MotorBooks International or the first of the Chance Hogan series. Either way I’ll be happy. The site is growing monthly, but there will be a few changes including the entire 1500 page CCI catalog may be on home page soon. We will finish the Amazing Shrunken FXR and the King is heading to the powder coater. Then I will begin a Pro Street Twin Cam for the ride to Sturgis. Plus I’m interested in restoring a Pea Shooter, if I can find a deal on one to replace my ’31 VL.

Some may be doable goals and others dreams, but ya gotta take a shot each year. I’ll tell you one important and loveable aspect to life at Bikernet, the people and the pure fun of doing it. It’s a blast, and if is wasn’t for Jose, Crazy Horse, Helen, Jason, Frank Kaisler, Jon Towle, Bob and Chris T. and especially Nyla, it couldn’t be done or handled with the fun we have. So enjoy the ride with us for another year.

BIKERS HAVE A BUMPY RIDE IN 2002–London was the scene of inter-club rivalries, internal dissent and police crackdowns for Ontario’s biker gangs.By RANDY RICHMOND.

LONDON, Ont. — London’s biker world started with a bang and ended with some big busts this year.In between, the Hells Angels and their rivals, the Outlaws, faced off at a bike show and took turns going to court and jail.After the dust cleared, the biker clubs were still around, but damaged, and police could cautiously declare several victories.The rivalry between the newcomers to London and Ontario, the Hells Angels, and the long-established Outlaws erupted Jan. 7 outside the Outlaws clubhouse on Egerton Street.

–from Rogue and CNEWS

ADVICE TO MY SONS– by Deasal.

If you can still walk, it wasn’t enough.
Ride or don’t. I don’t want to hear excuses.
Fight or don’t (see above).
A fast bike, good conversation, excellent sex. All else is superfluous.
A real friend will hold your hair out of the way while you puke.
Always hit with the fleshy part of your hand.
A friend is a friend, but a buddy you can sleep with.
There is no such thing as too many orgasms.
Dream more. Think less.
There is always time for more oral sex.
If you don’t like your life, change it. Don’t whine.
Never trust the carpeople, always assume that they are out to kill you.
Don’t be bothered with stupid people, push them aside and carry on.
Heart and soul: Some are born with it, some earn it, some never have it.
When meeting someone new, trust your nose: If they don’t smell right, don’t eat them.
Love is the most powerful of all motivators: Some will die for it. Some will kill for it.
The fire of passion is never to be regretted.
Don’t go to your death regretting what you didn’t do.
Never underestimate the pleasure of sportfucking.
If you don’t end up bruised, bleeding or sore you weren’t playing hard enough.

TROCK TECH ON CV CARBS COMING TO BIKERNET–“Talked to Trock. He informed me that he is writing some stuff for the CV carb article. Karen his wife will type it up and I’ll go over it when I get it.” said Pablo.

What a writer. He had the manufacturer handle the chores. The carb we are featuring is above and may end up on my Twin Cam Pro Street. Hang on. CVs are noted carbs by some of the best, so we’ll examine why and report back. The other gadjet is a Trock designed tool for removing and replacing stock gas inlets on CV carbs. They stock units are notorious trouble makers.

SPIKEE COVER FOR 3-INCH BDL DRIVES–Nothing more radical than an open belt drive. This Cyril Huze Spikee side cover adds safety, beauty and attitude to any BDL 3″ open belt system. CNC machined from 6061 billet aluminum. Fit Softail and Dyna Glide models from 84 to present. Hardware included. Polish or chrome.

Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET CANADIAN SCIENTIFIC STUDY–Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

–Steve Bauman

SHOVELHEAD RED FOR SALE ON BIKERNET–Just published; a refreshingly different new tale in the Biker Fictiongenre. Lovers of wind and wheels take note; this is an old-school, nonsugar-coated, scooter tramp, writing! His character development, andabilities with dialect and word pictures are remarkable. Throughout thestory, the element of surprise is employed, keeping you itching to turn thenext page.

This adventure takes our central character through extremes ofcircumstance that totally stand his world on end, and change his life inless than 24 hours. The story is filled with belly laughs, some tears,questionable wisdom,a lot of reality, and a fabulous ending. Because not knowing what happensnext is so important to enjoying this book, ya only get a look at Chapters 1& 2. Be warned, you’ll be caught up from the first page, and hungry formore at the last.

And there is more to come! “The Drifter’s Way” is the first of a threebook series featuring the Character; Shovelhead Red. Book two should beready by late-summer 2003. If you buy book one, you’ll be more than readyfor another Shovelhead Red fix; trust us on this one.

“The Drifter’s Way” has received glowing reviews from too many bikeroriented magazines and newsletters to list. Purchaser response has beenphenomenal, and to a person, extremely complimentary. Don’t procrastinate;order your autographed, numbered, first edition copy today.

Be a stand up bro or sister! Buy several for your friends…or buyseveral and MAKE some friends.”SHOVELHEAD RED”; America’s new biker hero!GET TO KNOW HIM!

$18 per copy; In the Bikernet Gulch soon

L.A. TOY RUN FROM 1973–from Bob T.”Came across this photo in some old stuff.This was a Toy Run back about 1973 (?) to Griffith Park.Can`t remember who took the photo. I am in there somewhere,Maybe you are too…Who knows… Some great bikes in there.”

–BT

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR 8 COMIN’ SOON–The images are coded and most of the copy written for a major project bike tech. This article will cover the BDL installation featured above handled by master machinist and longtime Harley mechanic, Giggie, who now designs and tests parts for Compu-Fire. You will also witness as he turns hydraulic lifters into S&S solids to save the starter motor and as he installs breather fixtures that fix oil-filled air cleaners. You’ll witness as he installs a Compu-Fire charging system, ignition system and starter. I know there’s more, but I’m lost. Hang on.

CYRIL HUSE SPIKEE VELOCITY STACK–Cyril designed this eye-catching velocity stack to add performance & style to your carburetor. Made out of billet aluminum and chrome plated. Horn screw-in on bracket for a super clean look with no bolt. Kit includes horn, bracket, pair of breathers and internal filter screen. Horn is 3.75″ long. For CV, S&S E or G & Mikuni carburetors.

Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles & Parts
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com

THERE’S MORE WITH THE CYRIL HUZE GRIP EXTENSION FOR MIRRORS–This clutch side grip extension bolt on all Cyril Huze Spikee grips (3 designs) and let you install their Dreamliner or Spikee mirror. Chrome.

Continued From Page 1

THE STEALTH NEW YEARS REPORT– It is time to say good-bye to 2003 and say hello to 2004! I made it back from Christmas in Virginia, and I?really enjoyed the time away from work. ?2003 was a pretty good year for me personally. I got to visit California and Hollister, a place where I always wanted to say I’d been. It was really cool going to Johnny’s Bar while we were there. Las Vegas was cool too, but I wouldn’t want to live there.??

The 5th Annual Run for Breath In?”Memory of Justin Pullin” was one of the?most fun we have done. Thanks to “THE MEANEST” for all her hard work on this?event. ?She is one of the biggest reasons?the event has grown over the years. One of the highlights for?me this past year is being a contributor to Bikernet.com each week!

We all got to see the biggest party in our lifetime,?H-D’s 100th Anniversary. ?Yeah I know they blew it with Elton John, but as a whole I guess it turned out pretty cool. Also this past year we saw The Discovery Channel air all their bike build-offs and I know all of us have seen AMERICAN CHOPPER starring Orange County Choppers, and I use the word starring loosely! Whether you like the show or not, you have to admit it draws attention to our industry, unlike anything ever seen before. So?overall I think 2003 was a pretty decent year!

Now for 2004, there is a lot to look forward to! In this neck of the woods, the Easyriders show comes to Charlotte, January 24th. ?June 25th and 26th?”The Horse Backstreet Choppers” Smoke-Out” comes to Rowan County fairgrounds. If you are into?old school choppers,?don’t miss this one! Edge and all the Horse staff do a great job putting on this event.

July 25th is the?6th Annual Run For Breath. We have a couple of new wrinkles planned for this year. The invitation for “special guest and emcee” will be going out in the next few weeks. (Mr. Bandit, are you interested????)

I almost forgot, Daytona is right around the corner. THE MEANEST and I will be there again this year.

I have included a picture of a Christmas gift I got from my brother Gary. ?It is a lamp made from an old iron head sportster cylinder jug. ?I think it is pretty cool!

Last, I woul like to wish all the readers as well as Mr.?Bandit and all the crew at Bikernet headquarters a very Happy and Prosperous New Year!

Mike (THE STEALTH)

BILLY LANES PRE-NEW YEAR PARTY– A Lot of People Came. Plenty of Food, Drink, Music. Good People = Good Time!. I know it?s short but am up to my ass in stuff to get done before tonight’s party and tomorrow’s Annual New Years Day Ride.

Have a Good One and to all there also…

–Rogue

THEIR PHOTOS TELL THE STORY–The Army Times, a civilian newspaper that is sold mainly on military bases and thus reaches the prime wartime audience, uses eight pages of its year-end review, out now, to run photos of all those who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan, except 35.

I usually don’t refer to other publications, for I have enough trouble with my own. But this issue of the Army Times is so extraordinary and gives hope that it will provide some leadership in the news industry.

There were 506 killed by the time the newspaper closed last Friday. Since then, another seven have died. The newspaper has said this is the deadliest year for the U.S. military since 1972, when 640 were killed in Vietnam.

In introducing the pictures, under the headline “Faces of the Fallen,” the Army Times said: “More than 500 service members died in operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom in 2003, a group that represents the full, rich face of American diversity.

“They grew up in big cities like Chicago and New York and small towns like Layton, Utah, and Cross Lanes, West Virginia. Ten were women, the youngest six 18-year-olds barely out of high school. The oldest, Army Sgt. Floyd G. Nightman Jr., was 55.

“They died at the hands of the enemy, from illnesses contracted in the war zones and the accidents that inevitably push human beings and their equipment to their limit.

“They came from all walks of life, from every race and creed. But all shared a common bond – commitment to, and pride in, serving their country in the cause of freedom.

“As the New Year dawns, we pause once to honor those who fell in 2003.”

–from Nick Roberts

BIKE FEATURE COMING TO BIKERNET–We’re about to feature this build and finished bad-assed chopper from Jesse Kilgore. First feature bike for 2004.

NORTH CAROLINA MAN PROPOSES AFTER BIKE ACCIDENT– PILOT MOUNTAIN, N.C. (AP) — As soon as a group of fellow bikers pulled the handlebars out of his abdomen, Brian Shipwash wanted to make sure he did one more thing in case he died from the motorcycle accident.

So he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, broken and blood-spattered, with a ring inside and asked his girlfriend, Shandra Miller, to marry him.

She said yes.

“I said, ‘Shandra, the reason we were going to Pilot Mountain today was so I could propose,'” Shipwash said Monday while recovering in his room at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem.

“I said something like, ‘I know this is not the best time in the world, but will you marry me?'”

Shipwash, Davidson County’s clerk of court, was riding his Harley-Davidson up Pilot Mountain on Sunday afternoon with Miller hugging his back.

As they came to the first curve after the park’s entrance, Shipwash lost control of his bike, crossed the center lane and slammed into the side of a heavy-duty pickup. The collision sent them flying.

The handlebars on Shipwash’s motorcycle stuck 6 inches into his abdomen.

“I was crying at the time because of the wreck,” Miller said Monday while sitting next to her new fiance. “But when I saw it (the ring), I just started crying even more.”

Dozens of people traveling the winding road up the mountain stopped to help. Among them were about 10 motorcyclists on Harley-Davidsons who pulled the bike off Shipwash.

“When a bunch of motorcyclists came up on it and saw one of their brethren in an accident, they all came running. It took three or four men to get the bike off him,” said Suzanne McKee of Winston-Salem, who had been hiking in the area and was driving in front of the pickup.

“That’s when he pulled out of his jacket pocket a small box and handed it to her and said, ‘Will you marry me?'” McKee said. “She said yes. Oh, everybody just kind of smiled, and we were like, ‘Oh my goodness.'”

Shipwash said he didn’t think twice about proposing while he was lying in the road, broken bones and all.

“I was on a mission, darn it, and I was going to complete the mission,” he said.

Shipwash, 32, of Lexington escaped without injuring major organs, though he broke his left hand and his right leg. He had surgery Sunday night, and was listed in good condition Tuesday. Miller, 29, of Lexington said she suffered only a sore knee.

Information from: Winston-Salem Journal

–from Rogue

I recently spoke to Senator Dave Zien who believe that this country needs more bikers, “They’re fiercely patriotic,” he said to me over the phone. This is a good example of bikerdom at work.–Bandit

Hope You all Had a Great HOLIDAY SEASON — NOW ! – It’s TIME – To Get Back To SWAP MEET SEASON!!!!!!

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Continued On Page 3

The Scurvy Dog’s Logs Part I Bandit’s Departure Story, and Photos By Bandit

It was time to roll. Layla was getting on my case, Sin Wu wasn’t satisfied with just lunch quickies, and Coral, well, I won’t go there. It was time to pack my sea bag and make for the coast. I hadn’t hit an airport since the terrorist attacks and completely agree with what the government is doing to develop proper security measures. I was searched three times and my bags were ineffectively searched. It prompted an idea for a business. It may be that in the future the baggage search business will need to be taken off airport sites. Here’s my idea: What if you had your bags searched, certified and taken to the airport by another company? Then when you get there, you’re body searched and you go. As in the past, the people doing the searching are far too overwhelmed to handle the job effectively. I was also searched before boarding the plane, again ineffectively. When I arrived in Houston, the cabby didn’t want to admit thathe knew where the port was or how to get there. He nervously drove through the gates and down to the docks. It was dark and the docks were poorly marked, so we had to find markings on some of the ships. Actually, some were such rust buckets that markings and names were difficult to find. We finally reached the scow Leon, which was tied up beside collapsing buildings and next to a dock strewn with busted pallets and battered fork lifts. Some military construction equipment painted a dark green with camouflage treatment sat next to the ship with flat tires. The cabby nervously waited beside his van as I unloaded my bags. Three short Filipinos in grease-soaked overalls ran down the rattling gang plank to snatch up my bags. I asked the cabby to hang to take me to town for grub, but he refused. As soon as my last bag was gone, he jumped back in his vehicle and split without even charging me. I didn’t even have a knife on me; they were still in my bags. The gangplank was the first indication of the quality of vessel I was escaping on. It was constructed from aluminum angle iron some 30 years ago. The damn thing was only about a foot and a half wide. As it deteriorated, pieces of mild steel angle iron were bolted across it for strength and to keep crew from slipping. Even wood was screwed to it to fill holes. There were no railings, just rope pulled through rings and old netting that wouldn’t prevent anything from falling into the oily sewage between the ship and the pier. The ship is 584 feet long and 85 feet wide. It belongs to the historic Rickmier line out of Hamburg Germany, but doesn’t carry a usual Rickmers name. The more I saw of the ship the more I knew why. Tramp Steamer is an accurate description. The first night aboard someone left the air conditioning on all night and we about froze to death. The next night the crew tried to cook us in our cabins. The officers are polish and the crew Philippino. The Captain speaks broken English and so does the steward. The Phillipinos don’t speak Polish and the Poles don’t speak Phillipino. This particular ships has six cranes and the same number of holds and each hold has several layers. It’s a general cargo ship which means it packs anything and everything all over the world. If they can hoist the motherfucker on board, they’ll take it. If there’s not room in the holds and they can strap it to the deck, they will. This in not generally a container ship, so it usually spends more time in port off-loading and loading more goods. They were scheduled to depart on Tuesday and I was originaly planning to arrive on Monday and going to have dinner with Billy Tinney, the editor of Tattoo Magazine Monday, who lives in Houston and should be editing a magazine on antique gun sales. It’s better that I arrived on Saturday. Sunday after setting up my cabin I took a bus to downtown through the ghetto to the upscale shopping area to buy some much needed communications equipment and gym equipment for my cabin. Monday afternoon the Captain anxiously announced with five minutes notice that we were pulling out. We yanked for the docks by a tug and headed out the canal past Galveston and the Battleship Texas Memorial and into the Gulf of Mexico. This report is coming to you off the coast of Florida somewhere between Miami and Orlando. I’ll be pulling into Savannah tomorrow morning for some pecan pie. You are getting this jumbled mess through a world wide iridium satellite phone and modem. These reports will come to you from wherever I am as we truck across the Atlantic to Hamburg and Italy and through the Med to the Suez Canal. Stay tuned. Now go for a ride and have a beer on me, goddamnit. –Bandit

The Scurvy Dog’s Logs Part II In Baltimore Story, and Photos By Bandit

I don’t where to start or how far to go. Hell, I don’t know what you want to hear. I don’t even know where I am from time to time, but fuck it. I’ll tell you what I know and take it from there. I’m in Baltimore, one of the more beautiful ports around. We rolled up the Chesapeake Bay just like in that old war movie, “Run Silent Run Deep”. It was creepy, as if we were steaming over a flat lake in a dense fog. But as we reached Baltimore, a horseshoe of harbor lights engulfed us until we pulled into the dreaded Lazaretto Warf, Berth A.   As the morning dew lifted to a strong smattering of clouds threatening rain, we made arrangements to escape the rust, not one minute too soon. The ship was immediately swarmed with Rickmier agents, attorneys and a knock-out blonde who sold brokered yachts. It seems that when Hold No. 1 caught fire in Japan, fragments caught and burnt the top deck and interior of a 50-foot yacht and small steamer. I could smell litigation as I called a cab from the ship to pick us up on the docks. Unlike the Savannah cabby system, these operators didn’t know where we were and could care less. Immediately they demanded a local number from me and I had to explain to every operator that I was on a ship and incapable of having a local number. Finally, I had to get my own info and map and try to explain to the operator once more where I needed to be picked up. When we finally hailed a cap, he had no idea where I was going and spoke little English. Finally in the afternoon I was forced to return to the ship.   I was somewhat relieved, yet my mission to find a whorehouse and get laid was dismally attended to. I made it to dinner on the ship and picked at my meal like a disappointed teenager. I went to my room to write when the cell phone rang. Frank Kaisler, the editor of Hot Rod Bikes, grew up in Baltimore and I had given him a call for a connection. He told me to call Larry McCullough of Pro Paint in Baltimore and ask for his girlfriend, Debbie. She was once in the nightclub business on the back streets of the harbor city, less than an hour from Washington, D.C. The rescue call came at just the right moment as the Filipino members of the crew began welding something to the deck above the gang plank. Burning chunks of paint were blistering from overhead and falling on the deck below, creating a curtain of terror in the way of my escape. I ducked the burning shards as a crewmember sprayed my feet with what appeared to be a garden hose. Larry came to my rescue and swept me away. His dually took us to his shop, Pro Paint, and I was blown right out of my seat.   I’d never met Larry before. His shop has been open for more than 8 years. He has a very well-organized, professional custom bike shop with a metal fabrication wing and separate facility for mixing, painting and buffing, all under the same roof. I thought I knew every world class builder in the country. Before I get to the girls, let’s get to the news: Ah, but first I must tell you that one of Larry’s creations recently won a Bikernet Bike Show and the owner’s trophy was on the counter. The name of the bike was Dawn.   We had dinner with Rob, Debbie, Christine and Sholana, great people, in a joint called Mothers, with fuckin’ wonderful apple pie with handmade ice cream. Better stop that, I’m beginning to sound like Rip’s tales. I had been at sea for 15 days and what I needed the most was the touch of a woman. Larry and Rob, one of the seven shop guys, took me to a seedy little joint called Night Spot and a totally nude bar, and I mean nude. Oh fuck, these girls were sweet, tender and nimble, crawling along the large oval bar top bare naked and moving to your licking pleasure. Sometimes I hesitate to talk about sex on the site, because of all the weird trappings construed with sexual discussions. I believe that sex is one of the grandest things on earth. Men need sexual stimulation, and it’s not fair that we’ve got to buy diamond rings and make bullshit promises to relieve a natural tendency. It would be like telling a woman she can’t have a period without getting a job. Goddamnit. It’s fucking natural, and someday we should beat the prohibition on the oldest profession on the books so if we need tang, we can get it anytime, anywhere and go about our business without launching new children. These girls were having as much fun as the guys and I was surprised to see three or four girls in the bar with guys enjoying the pussy-to-pussy closeness. It was a trip watching a naked stripper spread her legs in front of another woman and move her pussy confidently close to another girl’s teased grin. The guys I was with surprised me with a lap dance from a particularly cute brunette. She was perfectly built and cute as a button as she slipped onto my lap and ground her pussy against my crotch. I wasn’t sure if this was pure torture or at least a mild touch of a woman without… Just to show you how strange my life can be. I crawled into my bunk at 4:15, yet got my ass up at 7, worked out and had lunch with an 84-year-old retired admiral in a beautifully austere restaurant on the inner harbor. Like Savannah, this harbor is blossoming into a beautiful area of 1,700 brick row homes in some 200 ethnic neighborhoods. I only hope that San Pedro will wake up to the success some of these eastern ports enjoy. Admiral Rindskopf was the youngest skipper of a submarine during World War II, at 26. He was ultimately the captain of another sub, a destroyer and a sub tender before taking his knowledge and experience to Washington until he retired after 35 years. He mentioned that he was working with another officer, Admiral McCain, during the Vietnam War, while his son, Bob McCain, was a prisoner of war in Vietnam. At one point the Vietnamese sent the admiral a deal to release his son. The Vietnamese, much like the Taliban, were not men of their word and he was unable to implement his son’s release. Let’s see what happens tonight. I’ll still be trapped in the god- foresaken port for a couple of days before heading across the Atlantic, through the English Channel, on our way to Hamburg, Germany, to fill this bastard with cargo for the remaining trip around the world.   Meanwhile, I haven’t been able to contact the Bikernet headquarters. The women have taken over, and although I have a signed contract from all three women in my life to be able to seek sexual release in various ports and hunt down motorcycle connections, there seems to be a mutiny afoot. Rumor has it that Coral and Sin Wu are trying their damndest to lure Layla into some sexual nirvana.   Reports are in that motorcycles have been moved in the headquarters and frilly curtains hung from the purely bachelorized windows.     (This used to be Bandit’s gym. Don’t tell him we got rid of the bench and other heavy thingies. He can’t see images on his laptop!) ~Sin   I hope to have more information by News time next Thursday. Snake and Dr. Nuttboy have escaped the treachery to hide in the mountains until the dust settles. Goddamnit, go for a ride, Bandit.

The Scurvy Dog’s Logs Part III From The Middle Of The Atlantic Story, and Photos By Bandit

It’s wild out here. We are trying to duck two storms coming from the north. The reports we receive are constantly inaccurate. We are rolling as much and 35 degrees on an empty stomach and we can’t risk the engines in such severe seas so we’re heading south east probably through the Azores. We just passed a container ship from Morocco. The captain pointed out that it was rolling 15 to 17 second increments. We roll twice as fast, which is much more abusive to the vessel. The rolling severity is due to the edge of the south-bound storm we are racing away from, the fact that our ship is empty and that some container ships have anti-rolling ballast tanks and even wings that reach into the sea 30 meters off each side to slow and minimize the rolls. We have slowed to 15 knots and it feels like 5. If the storm continues to be a threat we will continue south and spend Christmas in the Canary Islands off Morocco, wait out the storm and head north along the coast of Africa, then Portugal.   We may be in the Azores by tomorrow (Saturday) night. As I sit at my desk this afternoon the skies are gloomy and the rain is spraying against the porthole. I’m working on Chapter 10 of the number 2 Chance book, and as the sea rolls my jug of water jumps off my desk and my chair is slipping away from the computer. As I reach out to maintain contact with the keyboard and grab the bottle, my notes on my left go flying. I replaced the water-bottle and turned to retrieve the notes and lose the jug again. One of the storms is 900 miles in diameter. At the center of the storm is 35-foot swells, and at the edge is 24-foot swells. We are currently dealing with 12-foot swells. Unfortunately another storm is grouping and headed directly in our direction directly behind this one and we have another gale still on our tail. We receive reports from Miami on the storm conditions constantly, we also receive course recommendation from home base in Hamburg. Unfortunately, the directives from Hamburg are fast food quality. Yesterday we received notice from the base that the storm was turning and heading directly into the vicious weather north of it. Based on that information the Captain changed the course to head northeast again toward Europe. Later information from Miami indicated that the storm was heading south directly at us. We’ve run into the outer lip of the storm and it’s heading right at us. Well, the initial report was from yesterday, and it was rough all night so the captain decided to have some drills today and we had to don our lifejacket and head toward the bridge where he explained the various sinking scenarios and what we were to do. He also pointed out the various gear and life boat and raft situations. The seas were too rough to test the life boat conditions but we will once through the English Channel and into the North Sea. Actually the Captain in his joking demeanor told us passengers that we wouldn’t feel calm seas until we reached the gates to the North Sea and out of the Atlantic. We’re just north of the Azores as this lumbering 584 foot vessel is tossing its cooking in the Atlantic at 17.4 knots. We watched a video on the life rafts in containers on these ships. They’re hot, but I wonder what kind of shape they’re in after 10 years of bouncing from one seaport to the next. I’m still getting reports from the front that we’re all nuts to be out here so here’s a bit of a poetry from the beginning of the 19th century about shipping out: We went to sea in a sieve we did In a sieve we went to sea In spite of all our friends could say On a cloudy morn on a rainy day In a sieve we went to sea And everyone said “you’ll all be drowned” And we said “We don’t give a fig!”   Just goes to show we’re just as nuts as a guy who slaps on his vest and rides across the country in the middle of the winter. Damn I miss the babes of Bikernet, though. Have a great Christmas, it’s the only one you get this year.–Bandit

The Scurvy Dog’s Logs Part IV Hamburg, Germany Story, and Photos By Bandit

This will be scattered, but full of the heart, soul and romance of motorcycling. We spend a couple of semi-calm seas rolling toward the English Channel. At the narrowest point it is a mere 10 miles wide, but goddamnit it was good to see the coast even if it was just the glimmer of lights on the coast in the increasing darkness. Two days out of the channel and into the North Sea we got the word that we could roll into Hamburg, but just then we hit a storm. The impact of just a knot or two on the length of time it takes to travel a few hundred miles is severe. Figure it out. Damn I was horny as hell, but reports from around the world told me there was ready love waiting for the taking in the Reeperbahn area of Hamburg as prostitution is legal, clean and ready to rock. I was climbing the steel bulkheads. After a rough day at sea on Thursday in a force 8 storm the reports from the port was that we couldn’t get in the harbor and might have to anchor at sea. At 11:30 at night in a twisting sea that had us dancing on the bulkheads the captain reported that the crowed port had no craft available to haul a Pilot to the ship and would we consider a helicopter. The Captain laughed and asked them if they were snorting glue. We have six tall cranes on this ship, cables running everywhere, and the chances of catching a harbor guide hanging out of a helicopter with some of the steel cables was 90 to one. There was no way. The anxiety level increased and at 4:00 in the morning I jumped out of the sack. I was cold but I noticed that the rocking had shut down and it felt as if we motored into a dry dock. We were in the Elb river with a pilot who was delivered to the Leon on a high speed 50-ft Hydroplane. He stayed with us until the Hamburg Harbor loomed ahead, then he was removed and we were told again that no pilots were available. Four more ships were lined up behind us. I was surprised that the Rickmers company has been home based in this port since 1834, yet had so small a handle on their own harbor. Another pilot finally boarded for the last multi-harbor maneuvering and docking. The Hamburg port is on the River Elb that consisted originally of several merging rivers into a swampy delta. In the 14th century many of the small towns used an island in the flat delta as their home protected by canals, bridges and guard shacks.   Rumor from management at the port was that there would be crews of longshoremen waiting at the Stlanerkai dock to begin to load cargo and we would be gone in two days and a half. As a passenger I wasn’t happy to hear that I only had a couple of days to roam the hinterland and find sexual release. I stood up on the bridge from 4:00 a.m. on watching a gang of ships attempt to find home in the myriad of docks, islands and peninsulas. Hamburg is a maze of fresh water canals, rivers and harbor inlets and the traffic was intense. I was fortunate enough to have a leg up on this port. Lee Clemens knows a rider who had a shop in the Buxtehude, a suburb of Hamburg. I met George at a couple of events with Lee several years ago and he was willing to take some time out and rescue us from the ship’s docks. I watched as the first lines were tossed to the stevedores on the concreted dock 80 in another grizzly port. I understand the industrial strengths of ports and their service to the industrial side of the world, but each one I’ve had the displeasure of entering is a Siberia of metal, trash and containers. In towns smart city planners arrange industrial areas to be separated from other industrial units with residential and retail. Each port I come across could be a delight to thousands of residents and a pleasure to work in, if proper planning was implemented. It would actually boost morale within the dock worker’s community and afford the people of the community the opportunity to appreciate the work that goes on in port and how world wide shipping works. Instead it’s hidden from society by chain link fences and dirty streets that no one wants to be caught on. George was ready to pick me up the moment we arrived and after 10 days at sea I was ready to stretch my legs. But I held off for a couple of hours. The crew on the docks was ready and began to load the ship immediately. Right away the deck was crowded with stevedores loading crates of copper tubing the size of houses bound for Hong Kong. We got the word right away that we were still leaving in a couple of days since the gangs on the docks would be working around the clock. We would finish loading in Antwerp, Belgium and head to Italy. When I asked about England I was told that currently the process for shipping included smaller ships that brought materials from the UK and spilled them into the free marketing zone of Hamburg to be off loaded, then loaded again on ships bound for the orient. Seemed costly, knowing that dock space and union workers pay to load and unload cargo was a high cost to shipping. What the hell do I know, except that we will not be going to see the queen? As it turns out we will be here five days since the workers took off at 10:00 p.m. and know one worked again until 6:00 a.m. George showed me his historic town and the canals that ran through it. It’s tough to imagine that farmers harvested crops of apples and hauled them to the canals where they were loaded on small shallow boats in the 1600s and hauled to the harbor in Hamburg, then loaded on bigger ships bound for ports all over Europe. In parts of Hamburg buildings are built right on the edge of the canals and material was off loaded on one side into a building like hops for making brew. On the other side of the building lifts that reached every floor were loaded with the brew and lowered into waiting boats on the other side of the building.   George is the owner, with his wife, of five waterbed stores in the Hamburg region. Lee Clemens put it perfectly when he told me, “George Bergman is the Waterbed King in his area.” Well, he is. His stores reek of class and style, and if you live in Germany or one of the surrounding countries and would like to consider a high quality waterbed. He’s your man, his web site is www.wasserbet-city.de. Wasserbett City is the name of his business. He’s still into bikes and rides from time to time while building the business, restoring a home and taking care of his wife Cindy and his young son George, Jr. He has a couple of brothers, John and the other, Robert. I’m 6’5″, George is 6’7″ and his brother John or Jochen Bergmann is 7’0″. These guys are good looking monsters. The other brother rode some, but is currently out of the lifestyle. George has a Fatboy, and John has Heritage, and a Ultra with a sidecar. So here’s where we touched on a little motorcycling philosophy and the real depth to the desire and need to ride. John explained it perfectly in broken English and I only wish I can paint the picture described in his big blue eyes. I could hear the passion in John’s voice and see the need for it in George’s eyes. John tried to explain something to me that we all feel but usually accept as a life long endeavor which we never talk about. It’s the will to be free and the opportunity to express that freedom. “I have two hearts,” John said, “One is for my family and the other is for my motorcycle and riding. I cannot function without my sense of freedom to ride. If when I was getting ready to marry my wife, she had said you cannot ride since we are having children, it would have been like cutting off my leg or my arm. She has grown to understand and so I still ride, but I have tried to give her the opportunity to understand by taking her and my first son on sidecar trips. She has grown to understand my need for this.” I listened to his stories as we roamed the ancient street of Hamburg. I learned that 72 percent of the city was bombed out during WWII. Yet the entire time I spent with people in this beautiful city I only heard the word Nazis once. It is something the people of Germany would like to put behind themselves. It’s the 23rd of December today and tomorrow is Christmas Eve and this is a dynamite place to be during the holidays. It gives me a true sense of Christmas with some of the most magnificent churches on the planet and in each plaza is a group of temporary wood cabin like Kiosks, decorated in Christmas motifs, serving wine and rum drinks, selling candies and nuts, ceramic, leather or wood craft Christmas presents. As the evening fell upon us we rolled into Reeperbahn, the nasty section of town.   Beautiful prostitutes line the streets. I mean knockouts all hitting on you as you meander through. The publicized highlight is the famous street called Herbert Strasse. The window street where no children or women are allowed. Half naked women sit inside windows and try to get your attention. They even have their own website called Herbertstrasseonline.com. Unfortunately these girls and some of the others are rip offs that I was warned about. The women lure you in with big tits and promises of love for 100 marks, then once inside the story changes trying to milk every nickel out of you and you’re lucky to get a hand job. We wandered the streets and looked, but didn’t touch. On the other hand, hard working girls are out in the street, or if you have a contact, there are prostitutes who know how the oldest profession is supposed to be handled with warmth, honesty and tenderness, but I’ll get to that later. The rest of the area is packed with peep shows, titty bars, night clubs, Irish pubs, adult stores and bars with girls who will stroke your leg for a high-priced drink.   We drank traditional brews and shot the shit about riding and our brother Lee Clemens who lost his son in a motorcycle accident this year. Travis, his son, was about to take over a major part of Departure Bike Works, in Richmond Virginia. He had a small son and a troubled wife he was trying to handle when he went down in a freak accident and died. George and I feel strongly about our brother who has endured many changes in his life this year and his trying to sort out his direction within his heart.   I took another shot of Irish whiskey just to fight of the verbal cold chill that filled the bar with each of John’s descriptions. We had a helluva time in Hamburg and I’ll spill my guts about the girl I met on Thursday in the news. I’ve got to grab some shuteye. It’s been whiskey, women, pubs and German beer every night until, well, until I find my ass back on the rusting barge. Merry Christmas everyone. This is going to be a helluva year comin’ up— Bandit

The Scurvy Dog’s Logs Part V From Hamberg, To Antwerp Story, and Photos By Bandit

Ah Christmas, a time of families and tenderness. Ah bullshit, it’s a time of lean budgets, kids with non-stop dreams of presents to the moon, Christmas lists that are too long and bank accounts too short. I escaped the treachery of Christmas, almost. I hope the rest of you survived. You have stumbled into the Bikernet Twilight Zone. Just when you think you’ve come across one of the hottest bike sites on the Web, you discover that one of the bastards behind this mess is on a tramp freighter out of Houston ultimately bound for Houston some months later, and you’re forced to hear about it a couple of times a week. Merry Christmas. So let me tell you about my Christmas Eve and Christmas on the MS Leon, a 20-some year old rusting hulk being stormed with cranes, stevedores, fork lifts and agents while it’s snowing or raining on the rusting decks in below-freezing weather. The design was that we would be in port for two and a half days, load this bastard with 8,000 tons of crap (22,000 ton capacity) and be on our way out the Elbe River by Christmas Eve. Not so, Kimosabe. We discovered rapidly that management and the union contracts are from different planets. What management plans rarely happens. On the other hand, while management and supercargo agents sit on the ship, sip espresso and eat cookies while expressing their dismay at the efficiency of the teams on the dock, there are 50 men standing in the freezing cold as the wind is blowing snow at 30 knots across the main deck of the ship. If they had ice skates, they could be practicing loops on the frozen concrete dock.   On Christmas Eve it was explained to us that since many of the longshoremen extend their days off with vacation time, the teams were dwindling. Instead of being able to work around the clock, the units could only work until 10 p.m. and started at 6 a.m. The tapering crew would knock off at 2 p.m. on Christmas Eve and wouldn’t be back until the day after Christmas. We were shut down. What was designed to be a 2.5-day in a costly port became six days. The supercargo agent also informed me that every time cargo is shifted it costs $250. It costs $150 to load a piece of cargo, but once it’s loaded, if it needs to be unloaded, moved and loaded again, that’s another quarter of a C-note. He said that much of the cargo would be removed again in Antwerp, Belgium, then replaced, and the process would be repeated in Genoa, Italy, and perhaps once more in Jakarta. I asked him how the damn company makes a profit and he threw his hands up in the air in mockery. He had no idea. As he explained the business side of shipping, Clement, our hardworking steward, set the table for a Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. The captain, officers and crew were requested to come into the officers’ mess and have dinner, which was an assortment of many things, including whole fish and turkey. The captain explained that the real feast would start at noon on Christmas and would continue until midnight with drink and food available all day. I noticed that many of the Filipino crew were uncomfortable eating with the officers and escaped as quickly as possible to the crews’ lounge and a wild karaoke festival.   Christmas morning we awoke and had a small breakfast as the chef and his crew were working on preparations for the noon Christmas feast. At noon the captain was successful in getting the entire crew around one long table. All the food was displayed buffet style with two turkeys a full pig, vegetables, lots of buttery rice, pasta salad, two types of gravy and two brands of whiskey. The pig was a biker’s run-feast cooked to perfection and the drinking got under way with whiskey, gin, wine and beer and some of the crew had all four.   At dinner I returned for some chow and to take score of the survivors and party animals. Since we were requested to mix the seating in a brotherly fashion, I was the only Anglo to sit with the Filipino crew at one end of the table. I spent a great deal of my Vietnam military service in the Philippines and learned to love and respect the people on those paradise islands for their kindness and pleasantness, but as I sat at the end of the table the mood changed. It reminded me of so many experiences in the past from losing a crew member on the heavy cruiser I was stationed on to the meeting of men after a gang battle or to the meeting of a family after a member has been in a motorcycle accident. Suddenly the end of the table became quiet. Two members of the crew got up in unison and disappeared up the inside stairwell. None of the crew would look at me, not out of disrespect, but out of concern for what had occurred. I was not a part of the serious nature of what took place. The concern was deep and fearful and only shared amongst the family of men who were involved. It seems that one of the men partied too hard and drank too much. He was the one who smiled the most and sang with the best until the torment of the whiskey bottle took over and he became mad and tried to take his fury out on another member of the crew. The man inside his cabin was dismantling his bicycle for the next leg of the journey and was holding a leg of pipe as the madman stormed his quarters. He lashed out and split the angry man’s hand. I had no idea of what happened as I sat amongst the serious crew, but I had been in the midst of life and death battles and recognized the concern in men’s features, the fear in bowed faces and edgy gestures like nail biting andr nervous twitches. They spoke to one another in only Filipino except to use a term that wasn’t in their dictionary from time to time, such as: Self defense and star witness. A crewmember called to the captain finally and the captain did his duty and had the man hospitalized. His hand required surgery. He was paid and his bags were packed and delivered to the hospital. He would return to the Philippines once operated on. On the day after Christmas it was too miserable to go outside yet the ship was in full loading swing with two cranes working furiously to load crane motors, containers and crates the size of motor homes. Hatches were clanging, containers slapped against one another as the snow blew over the bow. The rumor was that the ship would depart by 8 p.m., but at 5:30 we were told that loading would take one more hour, then an hour of lashing and one more hour to get a harbor pilot on board and have the crew ready the ship to depart. That schedule was pushed an additional hour until it was nearly midnight before we pulled away from the docks and began the 100-kilometer trip out the Elbe river to the coast of Germany, where we would turn port and head west along the coast to Antwerp, Belgium, which might be a degree or two warmer but swamped in the same drizzling rain and snow as Hamburg.   In studying a Hamburg weather chart, I found that the city faces 10 to 13 days of rain during every month of the year. Of course our visit took place during the 13-day season with an estimated one hour of sun daily during December. The temps average between zip and 4 degrees celsius. Not exactly a tropical paradise but a helluva beautiful city. Euro Dollars are going into effect the first of the year an it’s difficult to exchange money because they’re into the transition. The people of each country will have up to a year to use up their existing cash. A few countries like England, which is in financial hard times, isn’t changing just yet, but I would think it would benefit them to change as soon as possible. I’m sure opinions on that matter vary substantially. There you have it, Christmas on the battle-worn, rusting Leon heading for a New Year’s celebration in Belgium. My next report will be in the Sunday Post in the Cantina the day before New Year’s Eve. We plan to be in Antwerp until the 4th of January. Let’s see what kind of trouble I can get in there. Finally, I’ll report that tonight while in the North Sea I will finish my 16th chapter of my second Chance Hogan book. It’s called “Tides” and is based on this worldwide adventure. If I can get the staff to go for it, we will post all of the chapters in the Cantina for new members and members who rejoin for the new year. May your holidays be safe, secure and packed full of warm sex. Ride Forever, Bandit.

Check out Chapter 2: http://www.bikernet.com/pages/story_detail.aspx?id=9948