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SMYRNA BEACH — As Harry Brooks walked up to his customized Harley-Davidson Softtail, he was surprised to see three armed men standing next to it. But after a few minutes of conversation, the group parted amicably.

“Thank you guys,” the Richmond, Va., resident said.

The men were members of the Motorcycle Theft Task Force, and with a few phone calls, they verified Brooks’ motorcycle was legal, despite some irregularities with his registration tag

Members of the task force, coordinated by the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office and made up of law enforcement officers from across the state and country, spent Bike Week walking through parking lots and biker venues across the county looking for anything suspicious. The irregularity could be nothing more than the wrong frame on a particular model motorcycle, or, as was the Brooks’ case, filed off ID numbers.

According to sheriff’s Sgt. Bruce Fleischmann, task force supervisor, the purpose is to put a crimp in the trafficking and sale of stolen motorcycles and their parts.

Fleischmann said many motorcycles are more valuable for their parts than as a whole machine, and there are ways to tell if something isn’t original equipment on a particular bike. If a part is proven stolen, lawmen can seize the vehicle and its owner can face theft charges.

As of Thursday, the unit had confiscated two motorcycles made with stolen parts. In most cases, however, the rider is an innocent victim who believed he or she was getting a good deal on a hard-to-get part without any knowledge of where it came from, he said.

“It is a case of ‘buyer beware,’ ” Fleischmann said. He said the Task Force was formed about five years ago using a state grant after Bike Week became a target for motorcycle thieves. With thousands of visitors in a compact area, it was easy for criminals to wheel away a few bikes without anyone noticing.The Sheriff’s Office and other agencies pooled their resources to provide both protection — in the form of visible patrols — and education, urging motorcyclists to lock their machines.

Over the years, the program has evolved to a point where many jurisdictions provide their own anti-theft efforts, but the Task Force continues to fill in the gaps, especially in the unincorporated areas.

“We are getting more and more people in the county,” Fleischmann said.Despite the few minutes of inconvenience, Brooks said he was pleased to see local law enforcement efforts.

“Normally, I am pretty sensitive about law enforcement intrusion, but if my bike was stolen, I would want someone trying to find it,” he said

All those cops on task forces in Florida Partying must have been afraid ofgoing out in the rain.

DAYTONA BEACH — Dozens of Bike Week tourists have learned about motorcycle security the hard way: More than 40 motorcycles have been plucked from trailers, paid parking areas and hotel parking lots in Daytona Beach and Ormond Beach over the past two days, police said.

“It’s ridiculous,” said Ernie Jones, 32, whose friend had a motorcycle stolen in daylight Thursday from a parking lot near the Daytona International Speedway. “I never knew it was such a big problem.”

Police said motorcycle thefts during Bike Week 2003 seem to be a bigger problem than in years past. Of the eight reported stolen in Ormond Beach since Wednesday night and more than 30 in Daytona Beach, most have been locked. Some were in trailers.

A trailer with six Suzuki motorcycles was taken Wednesday from a hotel lot on West International Speedway Boulevard.

PALM COAST — Rain, rain go away, come again another day — or another week. That could be the mantra of area businesses that depend on Bike Week for a good chunk of their revenue. But there is a silver lining to those rain clouds that covered the skies over Flagler County through the early part of the annual event.

“We’ve lost some business because of the wet weather,” said John Seibel, owner of Thunder Gulch Campground. “But not a great deal.”

Seibel said some groups planning on staying at the Bunnell campground decided to keep going farther south in search of drier land, but only about 15 of them.

“We’ve had some cancellations,” he said. “There’s been an effect, but it’s not major.

And while bikers may have avoided riding their machines around Flagler because of the rain, many of them stayed at their home away from home and spent time enjoying some of the campground’s other amenities, particularly the Black Cloud Saloon.

“We’re doing about 100 percent more business there,” Seibel said. “On balance, we’re probably going to do as well as last year.”

At the Whale Watch Motel, owner Chris Tipton said the rain has not had a big impact on business. In fact, it may have helped attract more customers to the motel.

“We fill up every night in Flagler Beach,” he said. “The rain has maybe driven some of the wet campers to motels.”

Tipton said over the past few years, things seemed to have slowed down a bit during Bike Week.

“I think the last few years of Bike Week have been slower,” he said. “It’s kind of flattened out, but it’s still huge.”

For Tri City Cycles, the wet weather has kept some old friends away and slowed the foot traffic at the Flagler Beach motorcycle service shop.

On a rainy afternoon earlier this week, manager Denise Sarfde bemoaned the wet weather in the nearly empty shop.

“If it were nice out, you couldn’t get in here,” she said. “This weather is killing us.”

DAYTONA BEACH BATTLE — Two men were wounded late Saturday when gunfire erupted in a busy motel parking lot, police said. Bike Week tourists took cover behind an International House of Pancakes restaurant as stray bullets struck buildings and shattered a waitress’s car window.

“The bullet was lodged right above my daughter’s child seat,” said Tabatha Bluhm, 23, of Ormond Beach.

Police said there were 9mm shell casings and blood scattered “all over” the crime scene.

One woman, who was staying at the nearby Days Inn but declined to give her name, said the gunfire “sounded like firecrackers.”

The most seriously injured appeared to be a man from North Carolina who was shot in the stomach, police said. Another man was shot in the leg. Both were being treated at Florida Hospital DeLand for injuries not believed to be life threatening. It was unclear how the men got to the hospital.

Police said they had not yet pieced together a motive or the events that led to gunfire, which broke out shortly before 11 p.m. in the busy parking lot between a Day’s Inn and the IHOP at 2900 W. International Speedway Blvd. Witnesses said they counted up to 23 gunshots.

Bluhm, who was waiting on tables in the restaurant when her car was hit, said the parking lot needs more attention from police.

“There’s definitely a need for more security here,” she said.

Daytona Caribbean Report–The Bike Week that never was…
As you might know we got together and decided to have a joint booth in Daytona Bike Week this year, Choppers Inc, The Horse and us, Caribbean Custom Cycles. At the time it seemed like a great idea, and in reality it was, even though the weather refused to cooperate with us and the other thousands of vendors there. I don’t think it was a very good week for anyone selling stuff, unless it was umbrellas and foul weather gear.

But on the other hand, friends, new and old, and very cool choppers made up for any losses, break evens or whatever else. We were the first to show up and get the ” compound” ready Jim Betlach had outdone himself to accommodate us and we had a great spot, it can always be better, but that will be arranged in following events. As soon as we rolled in our friends started to show up, and the amazing display of cool choppers that endured the whole ten days, if you are into choppers, home builts and old school, I humbly say that our spot was the place to be, no fuckin’ doubt about it.

Then the rain came…

We had unloaded all our stuff under the rain and that seemed to be the curse of the week, we managed to see a day and a half of sun (or at least no rain) the entire week, and those were a frenzy of photo shoots and a false sense of ” at last !” Our friends kept on showing up at the booth, I imagine that they came to say hi and shoot the shit, but hiding from the nasty weather as well, it was funny that during the week the booth became press central, all the photogs ,editors and usual suspects would show up and hang out ’till their next assignment (if there was any) By now the shitty weather and too cold for this Caribbean “bway” temps had me feeling like crap, so the night activities were shortened to a couple of flu pills and a good night’s rest, I was saving energy for the adventures that never came thru.

In the first days of low temps and very , very wet asphalt, Main street was a ghost town, but the bars were full and rockin’ to the beat, I guess it became cage week for a couple days.There were more Hummers than Twinkies in the parking lots.Saturday and Sunday rolled by, slowly, very slowly, by Monday it was plain miserable and we had to end up with a heater…Da’ Caribbean makes da’ blood thin “mon”

(will finish it tomorrow for the news)…

Hope all is good

Jose De Miguel

— Visit our Web Site
http://www.chopperfreak.com

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Daytona Bike Week 2003 is now history, but I am sure that it is going to be talked about for a while.

A major factor was the stinking weather and of course it’s reflection on attendance. Some will say the attendance this year was less than in past years, and they are going to blame it on everything from the weather, to the economy and even the possibility of the country going to war.

BULLSHIT! Bikers were in Florida! They just were “Not” staying In Daytona Beach. I spent a lot of time on the street, at events, in bars and on stage with girls. Plenty of people recognized and approached me. I talk to them and others and ask a lot of questions. Most of those I spoke to were tired of the high prices and felt they got ripped off at a lot of places, especially the hotels and motels. Many were staying in places outside the Daytona Beach area and day tripping in. “How Many Times Can You Do Main and Beach Streets,” was muttered more times than I can remember.

Some years ago the city and the folks running Daytona Beach wanted to move some of the businesses out to the county to relieve over-crowding. Businesses in the outskirts did well and others were started. Now they are growing and other areas like Orlando are looking to get in on the action. So far they are doing well, as they reported 100,000 bikers in Orlando. That should get Daytona’s attention. Add the other small towns, campgrounds and events, and we can figure where the bikers went.

Riders say they have no problem spending money to have a good time. They are against paying $150.00 a night for a room when they can get a room in the same name hotel a few miles away for $55.00 to $65.00. The money they save at hotels they spend on other things, DUH! There also appeared to be a lot more campers and motor homes in the campgrounds.

Though the weather may have kept some from outdoor events or off the streets of Daytona Beach there were plenty of indoor places to party.

Does it really matter where riders stay in Florida? I don’t think so. They’ll come to town to party.

Actually, in many respects it was a rather good week. Traffic was minimal and bikers could get around town without much hassle. There were fewer lines and waiting in restaurants. If this continues, it will make for more fun and a better time for those attending. I originally reported that I was not going downtown or hanging at Beach Street because of past experiences with crowds. I changed my mind and muscled my way through the sparse crowds. I’m probably getting old.

The people who promote and organize these events and those who make a living off them may need to rethink their program. They may not have a choice if Bikers start moving away.

For the riders who escaped bitter cold and heaps of snow, the rain wasn’t half bad.

Hey all in all I HAD A GOOD TIME. I Hope You Did TOO.

Got home a little bit ago and will have some more photos for you shortly. Thurs.night was pretty good but a Big rain came in Friday.Did some damageto a few of the events and people partied inside. Saturday was pretty decient and I got to do Beach Street etc. All in all I think it was a Good Bike Week.It may give some people something to think about. The Harley Dealer has purchase property out in the county and will beholding events out there so that should tell you some thing. ROGUE

FROM THE NEWS–

EDGEWATER — Perched on a bar stool outside Mom’s Restaurant, 82-year-old Gordon Magyar waves at bikers riding passed on the way to Bike Week events on U.S. 1. The gesture often encourages visitors to turn around and grab a bite to eat, said Magyar, a Shriner who watches bikes in the restaurant parking lot each year for donations. Bike Week may be the most lucrative week of the year for many well-known motorcycle establishments, such as Gilly’s Pub 44, Cabbage Patch and No Name Saloon. But small businesses in Southeast Volusia have created their own unique ways to draw in the bikers — and their bucks. The owners of Mom’s Home Cooking display a “Welcome Bikers” sign and put a skullcap on the woman shaped-sign out front. During the 10-day event, waitresses leave the khakis at home and sport tank tops and jeans instead.? We look forward to it as much as the bikers,” co-owner Patty Cook said. “The bikers bring in a huge income to this place and many others.? Still, some businesses start new events to compete with the traditional ones. Bikers’ Paradise creators hope to welcome 35,000 people to New Smyrna Speedway during the second year of stunt shows, bands and vendors. To drum up attendance, promoters sent women to bars throughout Florida in February. Several thousand people came out for the inaugural event, but rain kept many away, said Joyce Vignola, whose sister, Janet Caporale, started the event. So this year, the Bikers’ Paradise angels — played by Caporale’s daughter and a local model — toured the state handing out free passes. Coordinators also booked a popular biker band, Blue Oyster Cult, which often brings a following of fans, Vignola said. The band played Thursday night. ?We wanted it to be like an old-fashioned bikers’ party,” she said. As the leather-clad crowds motor through Southeast Volusia, many small businesses use biker friendly signs to rope in customers.

All-Suite Hotel owner Fran Mills displays “We’re glad you’re here” to bring in tired bikers traveling U.S. 1. But, Mills finds that she doesn’t need a lot of advertising to fill up rooms each year.

“The same people come down each year and book the rooms a year in advance,” she said

Peanuts Restaurant and Sports Bar on Flagler Avenue brings in customers by billing itself as one of the few motorcycle joints on New Smyrna’s beachside, owner Shelly Pestine said.

“We’re the closest thing,” Pestine said.

It also helps that the kitchen stays open until 1:30 a.m. and the rates don’t go up during Bike Week, he said. At least 500 patrons come to Peanuts on a night during Bike Week, which is twice the usual amount, he said. Many are locals who leave Daytona Beach to avoid the bike festivities.

“It’s by far our biggest week of the year,” he said.

Cops from all over the country go to Bike Week and other events at theexpense of their state. They say it is to look for stolen motorcycles from their state. Well according to reports they are not being to successful at it. Maybe the money would be better spent trying to stop the thefts in thefirst place. Or maybe it was to wet for them to go out and they were in the barspartying with every one else.

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The Rain Went Away And The Bikers Come OUT TO PLAY

The murky weather, the harbinger to the festive week finally drifted out to sea as if the grim reaper chased off the coast by the Angels to be. The eastern sky finally opened its blue brightness to warm the sand and streets of Daytona and allow Bike Week and the Bikers to take advantage of the brilliant sun and hall-ass around the area visiting all the party spots.

The Cabbage Patch launched its coleslaw wrestling, while right down the road Bikers Paradise opened the doors for spaghetti wrestling and a Wet T-Shirt contest. Because both of these places are in the county they do not fall under the same rules as does downtown.

As the Bikers realized the freedom beyond the city limits, more and more of them are spending time and their money in the surrounding areas. Do a little checking and you will find the place that offers the entertainment you are looking for.

I asked the promoters at Bikers Paradise how they were allowed to have a wet t-shirt contest when flashing down-town cost a beautiful broad $160.00. They said first they were in the county and second it was a private party. Made a lot of sense to me.

Today?s Report will be short, as I want to get back to THE PARTY!

Enjoy the pictures and if you see me have me take your picture

— ROGUE

DAYTONA BEACH — Two adult dance clubs that feature nude entertainment won another victory in a long-running legal battle with the city over adult entertainment. The U.S. 11th Circuit Court of Appeals refused this week to lift a federal judge’s order allowing Molly Brown’s II and the Pink Pony to feature nude dancers.

The owners of Molly Brown’s II on Seabreeze Boulevard and the Pink Pony on Ridgewood Avenue contend in the lawsuit that nude dancing is constitutionally protected free speech that cannot be prohibited. Zoning rules in the city, club officials argue, are so restrictive that no adult businesses with nude entertainment can open.

The lawsuit was originally filed in March 2001 after a spate of arrests at local clubs charging that dancers were wearing costumes that were too skimpy. City rules require dancers to wear costumes that cover one-third of the buttocks and one-quarter of a women’s breast in clubs that sell alcohol.

Bike Week is many things: a street party, a de facto strip show, a chance for otherwise polite people to make a lot of unneeded noise with their expensive machines. But what about a military reunion? Look closely at the black-clad bikers riding along Main Street and U.S. 1 and you’ll see the signs of previous service: patches, caps and pins with the names of divisions and ships, or little flags with “POW” or “MIA” written across them. Or go to the New Smyrna Speedway to see the traveling Vietnam Memorial Wall, a replica of the monument in Washington, D.C. Even on a chilly, rainy day, bikers — many of them Vietnam War veterans — could be found there, looking for names of buddies and relatives.

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BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE– A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?”

God said, “No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live,she figured she might as well look even nicer.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I hadanother 40 years? Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of that ambulance?”

God replied, “Girl, I didn’t recognize you.”

HARLEY SITE AVAILABLE–Our last offer to acquire HarleyMall.com (www.harleymall.com) gained very favorable feedback. In an ongoing effort to provide Harley enthusiasts a place to buy, sell, trade and share Harley knowledge in a community setting, we are extending a invitation for existing website owners the opportunity to join a Harley Market Alliance. Members will have their own market site tied into the vast Harley Community Marketplace. To gain your own fully functional commerce site and join the Alliance, there is a one-time very small investment.

–“Michael Goupil”
mgoupil@empiresolutions.com

EXPOSURE–A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her rightbreast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, “Ma’am, areyou aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?”

She says, “Why, officer?”

“Because your breast is hanging out.” he says.

She looks down and says, “OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the busagain!”

EXCLUSIVE–NEW KALLAS ART–Kicking around ideas for new painting.Check attached. My latest painting is finished.It might beavailable soon as a print, if there’s interest, and I’m alwaysavailable to do portraits of bikes.

–Hang tough, CK
CGKNAK@aol.com

Chris’s prints are very reasonable. We sell them in the Gulch, http://www.bikernet.com/catalog/onlinecatalog.asp?Category=Art+Prints. So, let him know if you would be interested in this new piece. I am.

WAR CRIES FROM CHARLIE DANIEL’S–Charlie Daniel’s Letter to the Hollywood Bunch:Ok, let’s just say for a moment you bunch of pampered, overpaid, unrealistic limousine liberals had your way and the U.S.A. didn’t go into Iraq.

Let’s say that you really get your way and we destroy all our nuclear weapons and stick daisies in our gun barrels and sit around with some white wine and cheese and pat ourselves on the back, so proud of what we’ve done for world peace.

Let’s say that we cut the military budget to just enough to keep the National Guard on hand to help out with floods and fires.

Let’s say that we close down our military bases all over the world and bring the troops home, increase our foreign aid and drop all the trade sanctions against everybody.

I suppose that in your fantasy world this would create a utopian world where everybody would live in peace. After all, the great monster, the United States of America, the cause of all the world’s trouble would have disbanded it’s horrible military and certainly all the other countries of the world would follow suit. After all, they only arm themselves to defend their countries from the mean old U.S.A.

Why you bunch of pitiful, hypocritical, idiotic, spoiled mugwumps. get your head out of the sand and smell the Trade Towers burning. Do you think that a trip to Iraq by Sean Penn did anything but encourage a wanton murderer to think that the people of the U.S.A. didn’t have the nerve or the guts to fight him?

Barbra Streisand’s fanatical and hateful rankings about George Bush makes about as much sense as Michael Jackson hanging a baby over a railing.

You people need to get out of Hollywood once in a while and get out into the real world. You’d be surprised at the hostility you would find out here. Stop in at a truck stop and tell an overworked, long distance truck driver that you don’t think Saddam Hussein is doing anything wrong. Tell a farmer with a couple of sons in the military that you think the United States has no right to defend itself. Go down to Baxley, Georgia and hold an anti-war rally and see what the folks down there think about you. Please visit Clarksville, Tennessee and the 101st Airborne and talk that SHIT, please visit those Real American’s.

What do you think? Boycott any Hollywood type that protest against the USA.

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels

HELLS ANGEL RUSTY’S BIKE FOR SALE– I have a bike 4-sale (pictures attached) It was featured in the Street Chopper mag, Aug 2002 issue, page 14. It normally retails for 30K, but I will take $25,000. This HellRazor is cool. If you’re interested check the Illusion Cycles site for all the specs: http://www.geocities.com/rustys_forum/Illusion.html

BIKERNET BARBER SHOP ADVICE– Entering a barber shop for a shave, a man mentions to the barber that he has had some problems getting a close shave on his cheeks. “I have just the thing,” the barber told him. He fished around in a nearby drawer and handed the man a small wooden ball. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

The man put the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeded to give him the closest shave he had ever received. Halfway through the experience, the man grunted to the barber, “But what if I swallow the ball?”

“Don’t worry about it,” the barber replied. “Just bring it back to me tomorrow like everyone else does.”

–from Ken Miller

DAYTONA BIKERNET STYLE–Check the home page. We are running news on Daytona Bike Week almost daily. We have several correspondents in Daytona: Rogue, Katmandu, Jose and Frank Kaisler will be roaming the streets.

Check it out for all the latest weather and wrestling reports. If you see Rogue or Jose ask to have your picture taken for Bikernet.

WE ARE NOT THE TALIBAN– As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife.

So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM (ET) all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in Yard chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it’s okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment. The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God Bless America!

–from Chris T.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON 100TH RIDE HOME INFO–Nothing says excitement like the sweet rumblings of Harley-Davidson? motorcycles riding across the United States on their way to Milwaukee. Following the global Open Road Tour festivals, Harley-Davidson will launch the Ride Home, allowing riders from around the world to travel one of four routes across the United States:

Northwest
Southwest
South Central
Northeast

All four rides culminate in Milwaukee on August 27, 2003, for the 100th Anniversary Celebration events.

Rides are unguided so riders may go at their own pace, but there will be scheduled events at specified locations along the routes where enthusiasts can enjoy Harley-Davidson camaraderie.

No Harley-Davidson event would be complete without great keepsakes to go with it. The Ride Home is no exception. A special Ride Home Commemorative Kit will be available for purchase at participating Harley-Davidson dealerships in May, 2003 and will include a number of one-of-a-kind items: pin, T-shirt, reflective patch and embossed leather trinket box (individual items will not be sold separately). Each kit will cost $100, and participation in the Ride Home is not necessary to purchase one.

A portion of the kit sales will be donated to the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA). Harley-Davidson?s goal is to raise $5 million through 100th Anniversary activities.

All dates, locations, times and activities are subject to change. Check back here often for the latest information.

POUR THE JACK–Sin Wu slipped into the headquarters on her way to an afternoon class. She pulled me away from my computer as the UPS gal arrived with the powder coating for the King. A reader recently told me (I recently had hernia surgery), that if I even considered sex or lifting something, to forget it.

I had the UPS gal set the 4-foot tall box inside the door and slipped into the bedroom with Sin.

It’s gonna be a helluva weekend.

Ride Forever–Bandit

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MOTORCYCLE RIDERS EDUCATION FUND IN UTAH–By now most of you have heard of statements made by Senator Buttars, andother things going on up at the Capital. A lot of you have heard it secondand third hand, some of this information has gotten twisted a little. I wantthe members to have the information I have, first hand, as accurate aspossible.

This is to inform you of the incidents that happened, which affect theMotorcycle Riders Education Fund, at the State Capital on Tuesday Feb. 18.We heard that the Executive Offices and Criminal Justice subcommittee wasgoing put the Motorcycle Riders Education Fund (MREF) on the 2% cut list.This means they were going to recommend the Executive AppropriationsCommittee that they take the money from that fund to pay for highway patrolexpenses.

During this meeting Senator Buttars gave the Executive Offices and CriminalJustice subcommittee report to the Executive Appropriations Committee. Hesaid “These are the recommendations for the 2% cut list: We have had to takemoney from the victims reparations fund and we have received many phonecalls from people against it, I’m very sorry but we took a small percentageof their money. We also have received about 700 phone calls from peopleagainst us taking money from the firecap; again we are only taking apercentage, 1 million dollars from a 4 million dollar fund. We have alsoreceived about 200calls from a bunch of bikers, we took their money..you will receive callsfrom them too, IGNORE THEM, it’s just a little training fund and we tookit.”

Needless to say, we were livid! I REALLY TRIED to keep mycool, walked up and shook his hand, introduced myself, then told him I washere to educate him on a few things. I started out OK, told him theMotorcycle Riders Education Fund provided more than just a little “trainingprogram” It paid for a life saving course. But I was so pissed about hisother comment, I told him[and this is where I kinda lost my cool] “…You got calls from 200 REGISTERED VOTERS! From 200 TAXPAYERS, what kind ofelected official are you to say IGNORE THEM?!!” [yes I was yelling, told yaI kinda lost my cool]

He became indignant and yelled back at me; he said,”I was told to find 9 million dollars somewhere, I was just doingmy job, what do you think I should do?”

I said “By all means, I think youshould IGNORE the voters who put you in this office! If you need to findmoney and want to take ours, I know exactly where you can find it, put anadditional $5 tax on all 4 wheeled vehicles and an additional $2.50 tax onall class A drivers licenses, then take that money, we are getting taxedextra just because we’re bikers. This little “training fund” is aself-sustaining program!”

The officers of Weber Chapter believe that the best way to get our moneyback, is to write or call the Executive Appropriations Committee and letthem know of the public safety this fund provides, and ask them toreconsider cutting our program. I’ve included the list of who to contact.

Lisa Bargar Vlahos
Weber Chapter ABATE
Public Relations
Assistant Political Liaison

Executive Appropriations Committee

Senate;
Sen. LeonardBlackham, lblackham@utahsenate.org (Chair),
Sen. BillHickman, bhickman@utahsenate.org(vice chair)
Sen. Gene Davis, , gdavis@utahsenate.org
Sen. MikeDmitrich, mdmitrich@utahsenate.org
Sen. KarenHale, khale@utahsenate.org,
Sen. PeterKnudson, pknudson@utahsenate.org
Sen. Pres. AlMansell, amansell@utahsenate.org,
Sen. JohnValentine, jvalentine@utahsenate.org
Sen. MichaelWaddoups,mwaddoups@utahsenate.org
Sen. RonAllen, rallen@ronallen.com

House;
Rep. Ron Bigelow, ronbigelow@utah.gov(chair),
Rep. RebeccaLockhart, blockhart@utah.gov(vice)
Rep. JeffAlexander, jalexander@utah.gov
Rep. Greg Curtis, gcurtis@utah.gov
Rep. PatriciaJones, patjones@utah.gov
Rep. BrentGoodfellow, brentgoodfellow@utah.gov
Rep. BradKing, bradking@utah.gov
Rep. KarenMorgan, Karenmorgan@utah.gov
Speaker MartyStephens, martystephens@utah.gov
Rep. MichaelStyler, mstyler@utah.gov

BIKERNET LAWSUIT OF THE WEEK–This year’s favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr.Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.

Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for notadvising him in the owner’s manual that he couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.

They changed their owner’s manual.

Redneck Cat Carrier–

PROTECT YOUR FAMILY, GO TO JAIL?–According to the New York Times, Mr. Ronald Dixon of Brooklyn, NY, “wasupstairs, in bed, when he heard a noise in thehallway. Half asleep, he opened his eyes and saw a man at the top of thestairs heading toward the bedroom of Mr. Dixon’s2-year-old son, Kyle. That was enough for the father. He grabbed a9-millimeter pistol that he kept in a closet, walked toward the man andasked what he was doing there. This man, Mr. Dixon said, ran at him,screaming. That’s when hepulled the trigger. He shot the intruder twice, wounding him seriously butnot mortally.”

Now, 27-year-old Mr. Dixon is your basic “straight arrow,” a Navy veteranwho works two jobs — 80 hours a week — as acomputer specialist to provide for his family, including two small children.The man accused of being the intruder, Ivan Thompson, 40, is a careercriminal with a long record of burglaries and other crimes. If convictedthis time, he could be locked away for a long, long time.

Case closed, right? Not quite.

Mr. Dixon had purchased his gun legally when he lived in Florida. He hadjust recently moved to Brooklyn, and was smackdab in the middle of running through all the hoops and jumping through allthe rings — and there are a LOT of them — to gethis gun registered in New York.

But the registration process wasn’t yet complete when he used his gun todefend his family. And Mr. Dixon lives in a boroughwhose district attorney, Charles J. Hynes, “considers the prosecution ofillegal-gun charges a supreme virtue. Mr. Hyneswants Mr. Dixon to do jail time… If convicted of the misdemeanor chargeagainst him, Mr. Dixon could get as much asa year. Mr. Hynes is offering a plea bargain that would involve fourweekends, tops, on Rikers Island.”

You read that right. Mr. Dixon is facing up to a year on RIKERS ISLAND if hedoesn’t accept the “plea bargain” from District Attorney Hynes and pleadGUILTY on a gun possession charge, for a gun he had purchased legally andwas in the process of making legal in New York. And if he’s found guilty,his permanent record could keep him from obtaining work in his field.

We just don’t think that’s right.

ACTION ITEM: The Brooklyn DA is elected to that position, from what weunderstand. As an elected official, he is obligated to listen to what votershave to say. So, we’ve set up a way for you to easily communicate with him.

Go to the site below to send an editable pre-written message to DA CharlesJ. Hynes, letting him know what you think ofprosecuting upstanding law-abiding citizens who try to protect theirfamilies: http://www.conservativealerts.com/030103.htm AOL GO HERE

Or give Mr. Hynes a call at 718-250-2000 (718-250-2025 after hours andweekends).If you need more info on this or any other subject just go to the Sons ofLiberty Riders Info Zonehttp://solrpa.com/wwwboard/ or http://www.solriders.net/– LaterHawkICQ 34668186AOL SoLRHawk

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BIKERNET RESEARCH ON EUROPEAN REGS THAT MIGHT IMPACK US RIDERS–Recently I was moved by the threads of new European Union regs that might force anti-tampering laws, helmet laws, leg protectors, etc. on American rides. I contacted FEMA and Ian Mutch in England for his thoughts. Here’s his response:

I think these rumours are not ill founded but are based on ideas rather thanconcrete plans. There are people who would like to inhibit the ownersability to take his engine apart because they want to make sure that if abike is constructed to conform to emission regulations then it can’t enjoygreater performance and higher emissions after its owner modifies it. Theoriginal motive for this form of type approval was safety and has its rootsin the French culture of tuning mopeds until they do 50 mph. French teenagerswere totalling themselves after performing this kind of surgery on bikesthat were not constructed to cope with the performance enhancement they weregetting.

The remedy from the EuropeanCommission was to draft a set of design criteria that included sheer bolts(fastners). Sheer bolts were designed to snap in half when an attempt wasmade to undo them – don’t ask me how that works. Thus the teenager whosought to pull his engine apart and modify it would end up with a pile ofuseless shit. The real problem came when the architects of this idea decidedto extend it to all bikes. We lobbied hard on this one and ended up with acompromise whereby only mopeds were subject to the anti tamperingregulations. Since mopeds are by definition, bikes of severely limitedperformance it was hard to argue against this particularly as 14 year oldsin some European countries are permitted to ride them in recognition oftheir low performance.

The concept of anti tampering is a worrying one though and those nowinterested in enforcing stringent emission regulations are becomingconcerned that those levels of emission could be circumvented by outrageousperformance enthusiasts who have the temerity to want to work on their ownengines. To the best of my knowledge there is no definite proposal right nowbut all of these ideas enjoy currency in the forums of the boffins in theresearch departments.

–Mutch

Response from FEMA

Sorry for this delay. Christina forwarded your request to me, and I amafraid there isn’t a website Bandit can be directed to (until we manage tofind the time to properly update the new FEMAwebsite…www.fema.ridersrights.org).

You mentioned the possibility of a helmet directive. The Commission isabout to release the proposal for the 3rd Road Safety Action Plan 2002 (yes,they are late)-2010. The reason for this delay is that the issue is verysensitive because of the targets the Commission has declared they want toreach by 2010, namely a 50% reduction in fatalities and serious injuries intransport.

When it comes to motorcyclists they are therefore also focussingon helmet use with awareness campaigns and even considering a Directive onhelmet use, which was by the way already supported in 2000 by the Council ofMinisters and by a resolution of the European Parliament. In practicalterms, we question the contribution this directive might make to safety,since the use of a helmet is already compulsory in all the EU Member Statesaccording to national regulations, and it is a matter of enforcing the law.We have asked the Commission for further information which I will forward toyou as available.

I think there are two subjects of main interest at the moment, one positiveand one negative. The first one is that on the White Paper on TransportPolicy which covers the same 2002-2010 time span FEMA received the supportof the European Parliament for “improved mobility for motorcyclists”. Weplan to use this support to obtain a mention of better infrastructure whenthe Road Safety Action Plan is proposed by the Commission.

The second one,which might actually be of higher interest for the US, is that theCommission is now investigating through TUV the effectiveness ofantitampering measures (when it comes to speed, noise and gas emissions) forsmall motorcycles as contained in Directive 97/24. The aim of the project(which will be finished end of this year) is to assess if these should/willbe extended to mid and large motorcycles in a future amendment of thedirective.

This could have serious implications for the servicing of themachines and the extent to which they could be customised. FEMA is takingpart to the meetings and has been bringing forward points such as costeffectiveness and socio-economic impact assessment (small businesses) and wehave been receiving support from the UK delegation, who is actuallyquestioning the need to extend/tighten antitampering measures.

I hope this is helpful, should Bandit need more information please getback to me.

–Antonio

SALE ON NITROUS KITS–From now until March 16th, we will be offering 10% off MPS Dry Nitrous Kit forFuel Injected Motorcycles. Check it out on our web special page atwww.mpsracing.com/Pages/specials.htm . Just imagine another 20 to 40horsepower in just 2 hours! That’s the reality of our Dry Nitrous Kit ForFuel Injected Motorcycles.

Flip the switch to activate the nitrous and turnyour horn button into a horsepower button. Our kit comes complete with allwiring. Most will plug directly into your stock wire harness.

Dealers, this offerwill get you 10% off your pricing as well. You will need to mention theInternet special to get this sale pricing. Go to our web site atwww.mpsracing.com and click on the secure order form to order yours today.These purchases will count towards the 2003 contingency purchases, soregister online now!

Click on over to the ever growing instruction areawhile you are surfing. You will find over 50 sets of product instructionsfor MPS, MSD, NOS, Dyna, and Computech products. And as always, enter theTether Kill Switch drawing. Dale Johnson of Red Wing, MN was the luckywinner in February. Congratulations Dale!

–Dan Rudd
www.mpsracing.com

FLANDERS FIELD–

In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

by John McCrae

I HAVE SEEN THESE GRAVES PERSONALLY AND EVERY BLEEDING HEART LIBERALSHOULD TAKE THE CHALLENGE AND GO VISIT THEM . THIS IS WHAT GIVES YOU THERIGHT TO BE YOU.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND HER ALLIES

from Bob T.

MYSTERY SLEDS–Check out this “under construction” pic and a “Tail Dragger V-Rod! That’s all we know.

–Buckshot

SONS OF LIBERTY RIDERS E-NEWS–Patriot Act and Civil LibertiesHey a chance for more feedback?http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/features/jan-june03/patriot.htmlWhat is your view? In a 400-450 word essay, explain whether the new PatriotAct is a necessary part of life after September 11 or whether it overstepsthe boundaries of privacy invasion. Send your completed essay to NewsHourExtra(extra@newshour.org). Exceptional essays may be published on ourwebsite.

There is a wealth of good information at the following link too:http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/terrorism/homeland/patriotactsummary.htmlPilots’ Alliance ‘Shocked Beyond Belief’ by TSA DisclosureBy Jeff JohnsonCNSNews.com Congressional Bureau ChiefFebruary 25, 2003Capitol Hill (CNSNews.com) – Airline pilots supporting the law that allowsthem to carry guns to defend against potential terrorist hijackings saidMonday they are “shocked beyond belief” that federal aviation securityofficials have publicly revealed weaknesses in the Bush administration’splan to implement the law.

As CNSNews.com previously reported, a spokeswoman for the TransportationSecurity Administration (TSA)acknowledged Friday that pilots who participatein the program will only be allowed ready access to their guns when they areinside the cockpit with the door locked.

“The jurisdiction of use of the weapon is in the cockpit and the cockpitonly,” explained TSA spokeswoman Heather Rosenker. “The weapon needs to bere-secured in the locked box if the cockpit door opens.”

MAKING MOTORCYCLE GAS TANKS By Covell–
In this 2 hour 47 minute video, Ron Covell goes through the process of making two very different motorcycle gas tanks – one steel, and one aluminum.Design, layout, patterning and buck construction are shown in detail. You’ll see annealing hand shaping, welding, and the English Wheel, plus details on leaktesting and rubber mounting. Each step is shown clearly, and it’s easy to follow. The video sells for $60, and it’s available on DVD for $70. (Add$8 for s&h, California residents add local sales tax.)

To order your video send payment to:
Covell Creative Metalworking
106 Airport Boulevard, Ste. 201
Freedom, CA 95019-2752
or call 1-800-747-4631 or 831-768-0705

ETHEL’S WHEELCHAIR TIPS–Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to chargearound the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and gettingup to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was onesandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some ofthe males actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened andKooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. “STOP!”, heshouted in a firm voice. “Have you got a license for that thing?”

Ethelfished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up tohim.

“OK” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, WeirdHarold popped out in front of her and shouted, “STOP! Have you got proofof insurance?”

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drinkcoaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, “Carry on, ma’am.”

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, CrazyCraig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizableerection in his hand.

“Oh, good grief,” said Ethel, “not the breathalyzer again!

–from Chris T.

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I try to learn something every day. I never considered myself much of a writer, so I read books about expanding my vocabularly and about writing styles. Almost weekly I learn something about the new King, welding or building bikes. Once in a while I learn something I don’t want to know.

Yesterday an old school pinstriper came by to stripe my new, almost all black Harley mags. I thought this was going to be a breeze. The spoke area is black and the rims aluminum. I was going to have a stripe run around the edge of the black. The striper, George, of Wild Brush, informed me that you can’t stripe aluminum. It won’t stick but chip off in short order. Well, so much for that plan. On the other hand, he looked at our new Miller MIG welder and told me to clean the brass gas guide. He told me there’s a tool for the process and that if I spray the guide with a sillicon spray it won’t collect slag as readily. He also told me that if I spray an area to be welded with the silicone that slag won’t stick and make weld-cleaning a fasters/easier process.

See, ya can learn something everyday, even if it’s bad news. While I go back to the drawing board, let’s get to the news:

CARLISLE BIKE FEST–Join the Wild Ride at Carlisle Summer Bike FestSecond annual event to be even bigger and better.

CARLISLE, PA – Carlisle Summer Bike Fest takes off again with moreactivities, special guests, entertainment and, of course, more bikes! Thesecond annual event takes place July 25-27, 2003, and more than 35,000guests are expected to attend. Carlisle Summer Bike Fest is held inconjunction with Summer Carlisle Cool Car Cruise-In, featuring street rods,customs, classics and muscle cars.

All motorcycle riders are welcome to park on the show field at no extracharge. Just pay the admission fee and ride onto the grounds. Clubs wishingto park together should call Tiffany Moyer at (717) 243-7855, ext. 121.

Special attractions this year include return visits from Chef Biker Billy,who literally “cooks with fire”. Biker Billy’s (www.bikerbilly.com) recipes are so hot, theBurpee seed company named a hybrid jalape?o pepper after him. Other guestswill be the Star Boyz stunt riders (www.starboyz.com), whose insane antics on theirfur-coveredmotorcycles guarantee plenty of oohs and aahs?from the large crowdsthatgather to watch them.

New to the event this year will be a BattleTrax competition (www.battletrax.com). The BattleTraxcourse lets riders explore handling and braking limits in a safe,challenging environment. All types of motorcycles and all levels of ridingskill – from beginner to expert – can find fun and excitement carving cones on a BattleTrax course. Returning this year, the Observed Trialswill show advanced riding performances.

A special vintage motorcycle display will show fine examples of bikesthroughout history. Riders can find out the horsepower of their bikes onthedyno tester. Smell the rubber burn at the burnout demonstration Saturdayevening. Also that night, see the best-looking female bikers compete forcash prizes in the famous Miss Carlisle beauty contest. Live bands willentertain crowds in between the other attractions. For a break from theheatand the crowds, women can visit the Women’s Oasis to get free manicures andmassages, shop and take part in seminars. Kids? activities are alsoavailable. Try your luck at Basket Bingo for your chance to win greatbaskets.

To finish up the weekend’s excitement, a 2003 Harley-Davidson? FXSTSoftail?Standard will be given away to one lucky ticket holder on Sunday at about 3p.m. No purchase is necessary, but you must be present at the stage to win.

The 2003 edition of the Carlisle Summer Bike Fest takes place July 25-27.Gates are open from 7 a.m. to dusk daily. Admission is $5 each day.Introduce kids to the automotive hobby – children 12 and under are admittedfree. For additional information, call the Carlisle Events Hotline at (717)243-7855, or visit www.carsatcarlisle.com. There will be no on-groundscamping. For off-site camping or room reservations, call 1(877) 231-ROOM(7666).

Carlisle Events
phone: 717-243-7855, ext. 116
beckyk@carsatcarlisle.com
www.carsatcarlisle.com

BIKERNET BLAST FROM THE PAST–Saw the referral to Texas Scooter Times. Thought you’d get a grin out of acover I shot back in ’81 at some Kansas drags.

That’s my oldest kid, John, in the background, standing in what was referredto as the starter’s stand. A few runs later Marion Owens grenaded Boss Hogand the kid had to find new digs.

–John Siebenthaler

www.siebenthalercreative.com

THREE ROSES– A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vagina lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor. “I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!”

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from himself: “I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.

“The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.”

“And what about the third rose?” she asked.

“Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!”

–from Bob T.

FROM THE DESK OF SIN–I have a few things I want to go over in this weeks news; one is to explain what?s going on with Chrome Specialties in the Gulch. Chrome Specialties is merging with Custom Chrome and currently in the process of re-vamping their website. Part numbers are being converted so they show up as not available, which is usually not the case. The best thing to do, until they finish this merge, is give us a call to check availability and get the correct crossover part number. Don?t get discouraged; I?m here to help. The phone number to call is 310-521-9900 for assistance.

Another thing I want to discuss is sex. Not really? I want to talk about Johnny Suede in the Gulch. In case you haven?t visited his site yet, GO DO IT GODDAMNIT! Show your support for Bikernet?s newest sponsor and you?ll be rewarded with visions of the coolest clothes around.

That brings me to my last subject—the Free Contest. Johnny Suede is donating shirts, hats and beanies for our winners. Along with all the other cool stuff I have from Choppahead, Samson Exhaust, Joker Machine Apparel and Straight Pipez, you?d be silly not to enter. I know Layla said in last weeks news she would post all the winners in a Special Report, we still are. Bandit?s a fuckin? slave driver and in his attempt to keep fresh material flowing through the veins of Bikernet, he?s got Layla and me on the run. I promise by the end of this week, you will have your winners list.

I want to personally thank all those who have subjected themselves to our questions when entering the contest. Your information is invaluable to us in that it helps us to see what the demographics are, what you ride, and most important, what you like best from Bikernet and what we could offer to make us even better. We love the feedback and want you coming back as a very satisfied customer.

Have a great weekend and remember, you can always email me at sinwu@bikernet.com.

Sin

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Photos By Rogue

Daytona Beach Area Bike Week 2003– is off and running. Officially starting Saturday March 1st and it is already full of controversy.

You will note that I included the word AREA as the Bikers are in an area roughly 100 miles North, West and East of the famous beach. There is a lot of speculation why, but a lot of it is the attitude of the City of Daytona Beach and the wide spread ticketing of the bikers.

The Harley dealer in Orlando is putting on a big shindig and is expecting 100,000 bikers and all the bars, fish camps, and other places you can think of within 100 miles is welcoming the bikers.

AND they are going there. Some are complaining about the rates for rooms in the Daytona area which in some cases are 2-3 times what they will be next week for college break, others the police ticketing, price gouging etc. While most of those I have talked to say they are not against spending money, and expect to but do not like to feel they are being taken advantage of. Why is the price of a bottle of beer $2.00 more down town and some other areas? Hey I can stay out side of town for $50.00- $100.00 a day and have just as much fun and spend the money on other things.

Well enough of that. We will look at it long and hard when it is all over and see. I have a Duty To Perform and that is to show you that how to have FUN. Now I realize that different people have different ideas about what fun is but this is mine.

Well there were all kinds of other things going on and some Rockin? bands. If you didn’t have a good time, it was your fault.

I decided to visit a few other places before I had too much fun and did go to the Cabbage Patch, which is right up Rt. 415 North. It had just rained a little and a lot of the people had headed for cover. A quick ride over to Club 44 to check it out and then back to the Paradise.

The TV station was saying that downtown was wet and did not have many people and was trying to blame it on the war and the economy. The Bikers are here in Florida but watching where they go, how they are treated and where they spend their money.

I will be going to the Speedway today to see the Vintage Races and work for the Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum. I will be out and about the area and if you see me, have me take your picture. You might see it here on Bikernet or in one of the magazines.

Do not forget to stop in at the Camel tent and see Billy Lane and the bike he built for them.

HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS I DO, IF YOU CAN!

ROGUE

Showers Diminish Early Bike Week Turnout

By JAY STAPLETON
Staff Writer
Last updated: Mar 1, 04:10 AM

DAYTONA BEACH —

Friday’s festive gatherings, part of a tradition that started in 1937 withthe first Daytona 200 motorcycle race, left many wondering whether Bike Week2003 would hit or miss. Police estimated about 20,000 people on Main Streetby 9 p.m. Friday. Many seemed oblivious to the weather.

They came from Israel, Kentucky and Germany — enthusiasts who love not onlythe hair-blowing thrills, but everything about motorcycles. “I like theoriginality of the bikes,” said Dean Bozard, a biker from South Carolina.

Still, rain showers didn’t help keep pessimists quiet. The National WeatherService in Melbourne called for a chance of rain and thunderstorms throughthe weekend.”It’s not going to be a dry weekend by any means,” said meteorologist PeteBlottman in Melbourne. “It looks like things will finally start drying outon Tuesday.

Bike Week runs through March 9 and is expected to draw 500,000. Thoseselling things were keeping their hopes up. “We’re having a great crowd,”said Denise Jabaly, a merchandising manager at Daytona Harley-Davidson onBeach Street. “They’re a little wet and soggy, but they’re happy.”

Not all were having a good time, however. Roads were closed to allowmotorcycle access, parking was tight — or expensive — and the Votran bussystem expects delays or interruptions next week.

A few miles south on U.S. 1 in South Daytona, vendors sellingHarley-Davidson T-shirts and smoked turkey legs were closing as early as 8p.m. Biker traffic there was lighter than expected, police said.”It’s been very light for the kickoff night,” said Officer Pete Blottman ofthe South Daytona Police Department. “The vendors are shutting down, theyexpected quite a larger crowd.”jay.stapleton@news-jrnl.com

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HISTORY OF FRANCE– – Gallic Wars – Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

– Hundred Years War – Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; “France’s armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.”

– Italian Wars – Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

– Wars of Religion – France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

– Thirty Years War – France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

– War of Devolution – Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

– The Dutch War – Tied

– War of the Augsburg League/King William’s War/French and Indian War Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

– War of the Spanish Succession – Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

<- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

– French Revolution – Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

– The Napoleonic Wars – Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

– The Franco-Prussian War – Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France’s ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

– World War I – Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it’s like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn’t call her “Fraulein.” Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

– World War II – Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

– War in Indochina – Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

– Algerian Rebellion – Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; “We can always beat the French.” This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

– War on Terrorism – France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be “Can we count on the French?”, but rather “How long until France collapses?”

–from Ray R.

READERS SHOWCASE EDITOR’S REPORT–Well it has finally stopped raining here in the land of Dixie. The monsoonrain coming after the biggest snowstorm in 10 years. With temps in the 50stoday. I expect the Carolina country roads will be filled motorcycles, astheir riders try and get one day of riding in before it rains again.

Ofcourse that ain’t squat compared to what’s going my old homeland of NewEngland. They can’t even get the bikes out of the garages. Unless they spenda few hours shoveling. That last storm dumped 2-ft up there atop of the 3-ftthey already had. Crazy Angie’s boyfriend had to go get a snowmobile twomonths ago, ‘cos he was jonesin’ so bad.

She tells me, “He said I’m going tobuy US a snowmobile for winter fun. What a shock to see a 2003 New PolarisSnowmobile takes only one rider? Well, first of all their isn’t room enoughon the seat for his big ass, never mind mine. I weigh 120lbs. I ‘d have tostarve myself for a year to fit on the back of that small seat .

Then itsays right on the windshield one person only NO passengers .. I said ‘Howstupid are you?” He said, ‘Pretty stupid, I never saw that.’ He paid $8,000for a one person play toy and never saw that sign.”He took off on it in a blizzard and she hasn’t seen him since.

She’s notworried tho. Hishot rod dresser and old softail are residing in her garage and he has tocome back for them someday. If not, she’ll just get taller heels and ahandsome young guy to set her on the dresser. She’s already takingapplications. E-mail any advice you all have for Angie tocrazyhorse@bikernet.com.

I’ll be skipping Daytona this year. Instead I’m hog tying my husband anddragging him off to Tahiti for TBear’s Tropical Biker Adventure. I even gota passport. I still can’t believe they gave me one. Wow, I feel almostrespectable. But then TBear has one, and if they gave him one well…….

Hey, Reader’s Showcase is getting some of the highest hit counts on oursite here. So if ya gotta bike to show off or tale to tell, send them indammit! Reach millions, well maybe not millions, reach thousands of folks. Show ’em your stuff. Tell ’em how you built it.Check out Dave Lango’s time machine road cruiser in the pic above. You’ve got to check out his trailer.

You cansee more realbikes by going to Reader’s Showcase. Come-on, send me some stuff, give mesomething to do besides paint all these bikes and clean out the catbox. Fourweeks and counting before I leave the country. I hope they let me backin.

–Crazy Horse

LA CALENDAR SHOW ROCKS WITH NEW BAND–We are definitely excited about having the hottest new recording groupin America, the beautiful Beu Sisters as the featured musical group atour LA Calendar Motorcycle Show. We are promoting them heavily in allour print advertising and throughout our FastDates.com website, as wellas selling their CD online via Amazon.com.

http://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM
http://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.2EventSchedule.HTM
http://www.FastDates.com/Collectors6Music.HTM

You can find out more about The Beu Sisters on their website which youcan reach via the links above. I also recommend using the shopping linkthere to Amazon.com to get their CD. I’ve already given copies of theirCD to some of my friends and they all agree it is awesome and can’t stopplaying it.

ARLEN NESS’S NEW BUILDING FINALLY OPEN–Arlen will have the Grand Opening of his new facility on the weekend of March 29th and 30th. The film crew from the Discovery Channel will be there to finish the filming of the television special!

Lots of riders think Arlen was born with riches. He wasn’t. He was a postman who built bikes in his spare time. He was in a club in the late sixties and rode with the worst of us. In those days he was a home built kinda guy. I think he spent 30 years in the same little shop. He’s spent almost five years preparing to move into a building he built with his son, Cory.

THE REASON JON TOWLE IS SHORT, REVEALED–We recently pressed Jon Towle to help with artwork for the Run For Breathe, charity ride in Charlotte. Here’s what he said, “Oh, by the way, I know all about the “suffering kids”. I had, whattheir kid had, for the first thirteen years of my life. Many trips tothe hospital, being on a breathing machine all the time, many nightsfighting for breath to where your ribs and lungs get so weak, you don’tknow if you can do it anymore–until they give you a huge adrenalin shotto make up for exhausted muscles.

It scares the life outta ya. I wasthere. I was suppose to be at least seven inches taller than I am now,because of it. breaking blood vessels from coughing so hard to catchyour breath, missing three weeks of school at a time. Shall I go on? Iknow the whole story of what they go through. I’m lucky to be alive! They told my folks, I wouldn’t make it past nineteen. But I’m too stubborn to go along with that shit.

Of course I’ll draw the black and white logo for their event. I’ll spend every waking moment when I’m not caring for my own kid (Mr. Mom) or drawing for Bikernet.

–jon-

THE BIKERNET BLONDE DEPARTMENT–A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together.Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me toshow it to you!”

–from Rev CarlR

SEND YOUR THANKS TO THE MILITARY MEN AND WOMEN–If you are so inclined, visit the Department of Defense web page belowand sign a brief message thanking the men and women of the U.S. militaryservices for defending our freedom. The compiled list of names will be sentout to our soldiers at the end of the month. So far, there are only3,800,000 names.

Pass the word that we can honor and support the defenders of freedom.

National Military Appreciation Monthhttp://www.defendamerica.mil/nmam.htmltakes 10 seconds…literally (please pass it on to your email friends)

–from Giggie, Compu-Fire

THAT’S ALL FOLKS–Between the massive King 9 tech and the news, I’m hammered. “Somebody get me a Jack.” Thought I’d take a break for dinner, but the two bitches started tearing at each other over stale Chinese food. I went to the cupboard to refill my drink and escape back to the inner sanctum of Bikernet.

Sorry we can’t always have the news up, by the middle of the day, east coast time, on Thursday. There’s numerous factors at play. Sex, whiskey and motorcycles. Do I need anymore excuses?

There’s a new tech on Gates belts out there in cyber space somewhere, and Frank Kaisler sent me a home-built wiring tech, that will hit the site this weekend. What else. We may have a major feature on what Billy Lane is up to next week.

I hope the gloss black powder coating arrives from Custom Powder Coating in Dallas tomorrow. I need to get back on the King for an American Rider deadline. The coater was snowed in for two days this week. It’s a bitch fighting deadline. There’s always something that jumps into the mix. On the other paw, we always make it through. It’s part of the challenge. The King is coming together. Can’t wait to show it off.

Let’s hope the sun shines on Daytona as all the brothers and sisters roll into the town that doesn’t want them.

Ride Forever–Bandit

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NEW BOOK FROM LITTLE BRITISH GUY–Just drive around the streets with a PA system telling everyone in earshotthat this is 1000% better than Sex and The City and will outsell Dr Spockand J K Rowling’s Harry Potter so buy now . Sales are through the roof so far but that is offthe MAG product site and our shows plus a few Harley dealers around London.

I am launching my own website soon and my second book, a pictorial overviewof the growth of MAG and the biker lifestyle in general from 70s up to thepresent time. Thanks for the offer of help, ideally what I would like to dowould be to find a US publisher for the book and then re- work it a bit.There were some parts where I feel I was too mean and where I could haveinjected humour to offset my critical comment.

Liked your revenge book. Bike theft is a major issue for us. I’m going to an antitheft meeting tomorrow with police bodies insurance companies and otherinterested parties. Never sure if we are getting anywhere. Capital punishmentis what is needed.

This book ‘Looking For America’ details my trip across the USA in ’89when I did the interview with you which gets described in some depth.

–Ian
streetbiker@mag-uk.org

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–We are out in Daytona, yeap, already there, time flies, just last month we were working our asses off to get the bike together and now we are trying to ride, it’s cold (to this Caribbean guys) and a 50 % chance of rain looms, but we are setting the booth up. Choppers Inc and The Horse should be arriving pretty soon (during the week end) We have a lot of stuff to do here, people to meet and deeds to do.I’m still working on the SU and waiting for Primos response to my questions, maybe I’ll get lucky and find an SU guru here that can help me dial it. For now it has an S&S and it’s running great, too bad I want the other carb , it looks good and I like the way they perform.

We are expecting a lot of friends from overseas and hoping that this will be a fun time for all, I will take some photos when the chopper is done and will send them to Bandit.Don’t forget to come by our booth and say hi, it’s always good to put a name and a face together.I’m just watching the weather report and it states gloomy weather for the week end, but clearing for next week which should be great. Remember, be safe if you are heading down here, enjoy the ride and try not to freeze your balls (or nipples) on the road.One thing is for sure, one big ass report will follow this trip, like always, and if I manage to sneak into someones computer will do some of Your Shots…

This one is short and sweet, gotta go work…Fuck ! don’t I always.Get better pops, we are tuning for the long ride…

Jose, Caribbean Report from the shitty shores of Daytona Beach

BIKERNET GYPSY SCUTTLEBUTT-THE BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL–It is always a treat for me to see friends come backinto my life. Ashame you could not avail your self ofsome timely bargains. But, you will get the friendlytreatment when you need that from me.

The Gold Wing I was riding, when I saw you in CarsonCity, checked out on me about a year ago. Seems I blewa hole in the case. That bike was pretty worn out WhenI acquired it for $100.00 several years ago. So now Igot another Honda, 1978-750SS with Vetter Fairing,bags, and Trunk. Last summer I journeyed from the California Coast toKenniwick, Wa. for the Hydroplane races, then over themountins to Idaho, Montana, Wyoming and into Sturgisto work for some friends there. Then off to Minnesota,Wisconsin, and Illinois for my 45th high schoolreunion. and finally back thru Missouri, Oklahoma,Texas, etc to SoCal and home. Great trip, good viewsand fantastic folks along the way. Ended up with about4500 miles on the odometer and many great memories.

Looking forward to another fantastic year and thisyear I want to traverse the AlCan highway to Alaska.

Any way I gave your address to American Diabetes Assnand told Lori Stevens about you, she remembers you andlooks forward to seeing you again. They are sendingyou a package for Sponsorship and I expect to see yourlogos on our flyers very soon. There is a B.A.D. ridecommittee meeting at Bartels on Wednesday evening at6.30 pm. I would go, but I have an ABATE meeting inPomona, that same evening. I usually go to the PomonaValley and Orange County meetings. This is for thefolks that help with the ride as we plan and executethis years Ride.

Anyway, Bandit, get involved and support this cause.Diabetes is curable, all we need is money and yourhelp to find the CURE.

–GYPSY

ANOTHER DAYTONA TEASE–This is Jesse Rooke’s latest creation, and it’s headed toward Daytona for Bike Week. Jesse is a hot, new, up-and-coming builder. Check his site for new products: JESSEROOKECUSTOMES.COM.

TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY–

10th – Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass! – Noah, 4314 BC
9th – How the @#$% did you work that out? – Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th – You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling? – Michelangelo, 1566
7th – Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from? – Custer, 1877
6th – It does so @#$%ing look like her! – Picasso, 1926
5th – Where the @#$% are we? – Amelia Earhart,1937
4th – Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that. – Einstein, 1938
3rd – What the @#$% was that? – Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
2nd – I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head! – JFK, 1963

And,….. drum roll……..The number 1 most appropriate time for using the *#*$ word……Aw c’mon, Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out? – Bill Clinton, 1997

–from Rev CarlRNo problem- don’t let Jose give you too much shit, he’s awfully bitter for a young guy. I love my chop too, but used to make Atlanta to Fort Lauderdale in just over 9 hours and be ready to party when I was still riding my King. If I did that on my chop, I’d have a shot of Jack and pass out after gettin’ into town. I’ve still done a couple of 400-mile days, but it hurts considerably more.

–KevKevin.Harding@motorola.com

BEHIND THE SCENES AT BIKERNET CARIBBEAN–Greetings from Lauderdale, where I wish I was leaving for Daytona this morning. My ’57 chop is ready to roll, and Jose’s buddy Wicho’s ’52 Pan is only a few days from being mobile again after installation of a new 3″ BDL primary and jockey shift. Should be interesting watching him learn to ride this, but better in South Florida than back home in San Juan.

Saw your note on Sunday’s news about changing the location of your license plate, see the attached photos of my ’98 King. Moving the plate was the first thing I did in October ’97 after picking up the bike. Once you pull the rear fender light the original backing plate was able to mount in the already-drilled holes with minimal grinding. I used some bullet lights to cap off the empty holes in the original mount, held in place with JB Weld and wired to the brake lights. The turn signals were remounted using some $80 CCI kit, with the “tits” added for some side visibility. I used plastic end caps from Ace Hardware and some black silicone to plug the holes in the fender underneath the taillight. Easy fix for minimal cash, cleaned up the back end a lot.

Also note the smooth Corbin Warbird fender. I don’t think it was more than $100 and really cleaned up the front of the bike. It seemed to handle a bit better too due to the lighter weight, and I didn’t notice much of a decrease in wet-weather protection.

Still miss this sled, had over 80K miles on it when I street-luged down 95 outside of Pompano in December ’01 after a gal cut in front of me in the rain. Of course, it was 3AM. Guess that’s why there’s drunk bikers, and there’s old bikers, but there are no drunk old bikers. Fortunately, a good jacket & gloves saved me except for some road rash on my knees and losing some hair on the back of my head. State Farm gave me enough cash to finish the chop and pick up my ol’ lady’s ring.

I’m on the road for Daytona March 6th, same hotel as Jose and his gang of misfits. Should be a hell of a weekend…

–Lojack

FREE CONTEST, CONTEST FREE, AND THE WINNER IS– We have quite a few winners since we took so long in choosing. I?m not going to post exactly what they won in today?s news cause I have ten pages of winners and it would take up too much space. I?m gonna do a ?Special Report ? that will be posted in the next couple of days. Here?s a few of the winner?s submissions for a teaser. Just so you know, you do win at Bikernet and prizes will be shipped out soon. You may not get exactly what you asked for but what you do get will be cool. We have prizes from Johnny Suede, Straight Pipez, Samson and many other Bikernet contributors.

Michael Reida – Des Moines, IA
Suggestion: More bike features for those of us living in the real world…and that don’t include $50K freaking bar hoppers. (That’s the same bitch I blasted American Iron Magazine with recently, whose subscription I’m dropping)
Wanted: Wanted: #1 Nothing from Bandits underwear drawer, thanks… (Good Gawd, y’all). #2 Anything for the old Pan. It has over length springer of unknown origin, Mustang tank, bobbed rear fender, drag bars, no front brake, drum on rear, and is black (of course)

SLICK FLICK – Hemet, CA
Suggestion: Biker tattoo section
Wanted: Some good head!

Denny Vander Woude – Waupun, Wisconsin
Suggestion: More articles, like the personal stories of rides and runs
Wanted: a Bikernet Tshirt and an old Harley piston I can use for a pencil holder

I learned a lot from some of the suggestions that were entered (thank you for taking the time), but there seems to be some confusion about what is available to you here at Bikernet. Lots of people suggested we have a place where you readers could submit your stories and your rides. Shit, that?s what we?ve been asking for. We also received quite a few suggestions for a Tattoo Section. I would love to get images of tattoos to post seeing how I?m the tattoo queen.

bandit@bikernet.com ? for stories and bike builds.
sinwu@bikernet.com ? for tattoos and any other images.
crazyhorse@bikernet.com – for Readers Rides.

Our address is:
Bikernet.com
PO Box 1168
San Pedro, CA 90733-1168

Not to mention ?It?s Your Shot?. You can always leave a message there.
http://www.bikernet.com/shot/

We have Event Coverage, Event Calendar, Bike Shops, Bars and Hangouts, etc?

So there you have it. No more excuses for not sending your stories, bike builds, tattoos, event coverage or just your thoughts. We wanna hear from you, even criticism. Oh, Mo Smock, you are a winner too. You get a special prize for the most entries.

The Bitch

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