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OLD ARMY BIKE RECEIVES READER’S SHOWCASE SPOT–Watch the Reader’s Showcase area for a feature on this soldier’s bike. You can imagine why we honored him with a feature. “Okay, you can put the gun down, now.”

I tried to point out to him that he could feature his bike, whenever he chose, in our Reader’s Showcase area. It’s easy. Post your Jpg shots and tell you’re own story.

We’ve even got back-up in the shape of a female custom painter, CrazyHorse, who can assist you and may even write down her thoughts about your scoot. Check it out, and watch for this scoot, or I’m in big trouble.http://www.bikernet.com/cybercycles/

QUOTE OF THE DAY–“You know the world is going crazy when -the best rapper is a white guy,the best golfer is a black guy,France is accusing the US of arrogance,and Germany doesn’t want to go to war.”

–from Digital Gangster

DEAL OF THE WEEK–Hey Bandit, I drove over to Aztec N.M. last weekend for a ufo conference and I found this Panhead in Farmington. It is a unrestored original ’64. The motor has never been apart and it runs like new. He wants 16K for it, so I thought someone down there might be interested. His name is Dana McGarrh and his cell is (505) 860-2217.

Soon I will send you some pics of bikes we have for sale here. Got to go to work now. Oh my number is (702) 301-4042.

–ride free, Bill May

ICE HUNTING GONE ALL WRONG–Two hunters from Michigan–(true story) This is from a radio program, a true report of an incident in Michigan:A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take in consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new Navigator), because they don’t want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite…

Remember a while back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns and the dog? Let’s talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING, especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with # 8 buckshot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, lightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand newNavigator. They continue to yell as they run. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps anddrops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master. Then–BOOM–the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered. He still had yet to make the first of those $560 a month payments!

And you thought your day was not going well?

–from Bob T.

BIKERNET WAR CORRESPONDENT IN THE AIR– Take away the night vision goggles ….. …… then you get a picture of what the Iraqis see – – NOTHING!

–from Chris T.

GET LAPTOP CONTROL OF HARLEY-DAVIDSON EFI ENGINES WITHSCREAMIN? EAGLE EFI RACE TUNER SYSTEM–
MILWAUKEE, WI Jan. 30, 2003 ? Plug in a laptop computer and maximize theperformance of any fuel-injected Harley-Davidson race engine with the Screamin? EagleEFJ Race Tuner, a sophisticated software package from Harley-Davidson Genuine MotorParts and Genuine Motor Accessories.

Designed for use in racing applications, Screamin? Eagle EFI Race Tuner software is divided into two modes. Tuning Mode allows the user to tune certain variables of the EFJ system for changing track conditions and performance product combinations. The Data Mode monitors up to 28 variables and records and graphically represents tuning changes with easy-to-read graphs or charts. It can produce horsepower and torque curves and speed-to-distance estimates based on recorded data from your last run down the drag strip. The software also includes Screamin? Eagle calibrations, which may be downloaded and tuned to maximize horsepower and torque of an EFI race engine.

The kit (PIN 32107-01) has a suggested U.S. retail price of $459.95 and includes tuning software and User?s Manual on CD, an electronic interface and required cables. Dealer installation is required.

For additional information on the Screamin? Eagle EFI Race Tuner kit and other Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories see your local Harley-Davidson dealer or visit the Harley-Davidson Web site at www.harley-davidson.com.

Tofind a dealer near you, call toll free 1-800-443-2153 in the U.S.A. or Canada.

FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY–
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like . . . night.
3. On the other hand . . . you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
12. I intend to live forever–so far so good.
13. Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.
14. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
15. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
16. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
17. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
18. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
19. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
20. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
21. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
22. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
23. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
24. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
25. Change is inevitable . . . except from vending machines.
26. Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!
27. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
28. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…
29. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
30. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.

–from Rev CarlR

WIRING TECH COMING FROM JOHN COVINGTON–We spent several days and 40 photographs to bring you a complete tech on running wiring inside highbars for the King. According to John Covington of Surgical Steeds, “It wasn’t good enough.”

Watch, in the next couple of weeks, for the “real” story on Bikernet.

VANCOUVER RIDERS SURVEY–We have a new survey on our website (www.bccom-bc.com) about whereriders would like tosee on-street motorcycle parking Monday-Friday from 6am-6pm in Vancouverand Burnaby ifyou are able to encourage any of your HOG members to check it out andgive us their inputthat would be much appreciated!

Thank you kindly and take care.

Shannon
info@bccom-bc.com

RAISE A TOAST FOR THE TROOPS– When you look beyond the bullshit reporters trying to second guess every move and the politics, it’s the guys and gals on the front line who are bringing the ultimate opportunity for freedom to the middle east. I salute them. I also salute the men and women who have designed and manufactured the equipment behind our troops. They’ve done a helluva job to equip our fighters with the finest gear on earth.

I want to mention one more thing. It took tremendous “Balls” to afford the press the access they have to this action. In a sense we are allowing the world to see all our our blunders, our slips and mis-calculations. We are allowing the world to assess our military equipment and it’s effectiveness. I just hope the decision was wise and ultimately promotes unity and respect world wide.

I’m ducking out for a week. When I return Jose will report on the latest Discovery Ride from Florida to Dallas. Billy Lane and Dave Perewitz will cut a dusty trail across the country. I’ll report on a smaller, more intimate run in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Have a helluva weekend–Bandit.

–from Bob T.

I watched the President speak this morning. He wasn’t saying anything new, but during the FOX reporting they mentioned and showed footage of Iraqi people scrambling for aid packages. The reporter said that the people are still afraid to say anything in public supporting our troops, for fear we will abandon them again. That hit home as a major reason for this effort.

I pray that when the dust settles, the Iraqi people are free and living comfortable lives full of promise, that the world is a better more peaceful place, that terrorism has suffered a severe blow in many ways, that the United States is vindicated for our efforts and the Muslim religion followers know that this campaign was not religiously oriented. That’s a lot to ask, but in my way of thinking, it comes down to doing the right thing for all of humanity.

Let’s get to the news:

CYRIL HUZE CHOPPER SPIKEE GRIPS– Unique design from Cyril Huze with extra length for added comfort. Complements the Huze Spikee line of handlebar risers, mirrors, footpegs, velocity stacks, primary side covers. For factory style or internal throttle systems. A spike theme to develop all over your custom bike. All Spikee grips have a removable end on the clutch side for installation of an optional mirror directly on the left grip

Description and ordering online at:http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/Details.asp?ProductID=10215

Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Website:
http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com

WILL BIKERNET BECOME A BAD RIDE SPONSOR?–I have not bugged you as to your involvement with theB.A.D. Ride. BUT, We are approaching a deadline ofsorts. The last printing of flyers will go to pressApril 1, and to have your logo on the flyers, it willtake an involvement of $1000.00. A verbal commitmentis all that we need at this time and of course yourartwork for the logo to go on the flyer. This flyerwill be distributed at all the pre-Laughlin openhouses and of course at laughlin as we do every year.

It would be a real asset to our effort to have”BikerNet.Com” as a partner in our effort. Even if youcould get involved with the committee to adminsterthis fund raiser. All, 100% of the monies go to theAmerican Diabetes Assn.

I am told that a cureis available to cure Diabetes, it just needs moremoney. Please help in any way you can. Thankyou…

Call Lori or Angie at the office, (800) 828-8293ext. 7439 or 7446. The web-site iswww.ripsbadride.com. The next Committee meeting forthe LA chapter is Wed. nite 26, MARCH, 03 at 6.30 pm atBartels Harley-Davidson.

Any time I see you is a real treat, recently, alongthe aisles at the Long Beach Swap Meet and severalyears ago, in Carson City, Nevada, when coming out ofa restaurant and seeing you on your way to Sturgis.

Last year as a journey for me, I RODE my 1978, 750Honda to Kenniwick Washington, for the hydroplaneraces, then over the hills thru Idaho, Montana,Wyoming and eventually into Sturgis. In Cody Wyoming,the street actors thought I was Fank of ZZ Topp andsigned a poster for me. After working for several daysfor other people, I headed to Minn. and Wisconsin,thenIll. for a 45th reunion of my high school class. Firsttime I had been back for a reunion. Then back thruMissouri, Oklahoma, where I wathched Tornadoes on theroom TV, before Passing thru Texas, N. Mexico, andArizona. It was real journey and treat for me to roamaround the US on two wheels. This year I will go thruCanada to Alaska on the AlCan highway. Then on thereturn leg I will venture to Sturgis again. All thison an old Honda.

Hope to see you soon.
–Gypsy

We have made contact with Lori and a sponsorship offer. We haven’t heard back.

BIKERNET CONNECTION OF THE WEEK–Are you looking for Vincent parts, early Triumph parts, early English or Jap parts? Check with Cindy at Century. If you’d like to buy one of the first Excelsior-Hendersons, mine, she has that too. It’s custom, it’s new, it only has about 3,000 miles on the clock, $13,850.

EASYRIDERS RODEO COMES TO EVANSTON, WYOMING–HEY BANDIT;ARE YOU GONNA GO UP TA EVANSTON, WY FOR MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND (EASY RIDER RODEO)? IT’S LOOKIN’ GOOD THAT WAY. I JUST GOT BACK FROM UP THERE. THEY’RE GONNA HAVE JOAN JETT AND HANK WILLIAMS, JR.IF SO… LET’S HOOK UP!!! “KELLY’S” BAR IS THE PLACE TO BE.

—- REDHORSE/STEVE BROWN

BIKERNET CAPTURES THE ACTION IN IRAQ–U.S. Marines from the 15 Marine Expeditionary Unit fire a shoulder-launched Javelin missile during a battle with Iraqi troops at the port in Umm Qasr, Iraq .

–from Bob T.

SADDAM ATTEMPTS TO RAISE WAR EFFORT CASH–The report from Rogue in Bagdad. “Saddam has closed a deal with Dixie Chicks to cut a CD and sell it worldwide to pro-terrorist groups,” Rogue said reporting from the war-torn streets of Bagdad.

“I’m sure that with guns at their heads, all terrorists will buy my new CD,” said Saddam. “Anthrax is getting expensive.”

We’ll bring you more on this development from Saddam’s recording studio in Bagdad. “It’s tough to cut a record when bombs are rocking the building,” Rogue said as he radioed GPS coordinates to USS Kitty Hawk.

— from Rogue

BIKERNET WAR REPORT FROM CARIBBEAN–Ok, so you know what they say, while the cat’s away the mice will play… This might not be the case since the commander in chief and his immediate staff are going to enjoy the tropical shores of Tahiti, yes, the same trip that I was going to, the downside is that I can’t go. That means, It sucks to be me….and they will have a bit less fun.I have other matters to attend to, if not, better believe I would be taking off as well.

But you will find out later which important matters are keeping me on this side of the continent.

This week I refuse to talk about war and stuff, no need to, since all the TV stations have been stuffing the shots and events day and night. I find really cool that all those prim and proper reporters are on the front lines, no shower, no shave, no gel……Although I wish I could be there and report it my way. I imagine my coverage would sound something like this…” Here we are in this fucking sand trap, those motherfuckers were shooting at us from I don’t know where, this lame ass guy next to me is not shooting back because of his strict instructions. Fuck that ! I’m taking his weapon and shooting those scumbags out of their hole…..After getting my ass beaten in this damn contraption for 8 days I’m sick of it. Everyone smells like a goat here, so I guess it’s part of the camouflage. Fucking sand in every little orifice of our bodies. Fucking sand all over the god damn place!

“While you assholes are back in New York in air conditioned studios and plastered with makeup, I have just one thing to mutter through the sand storm, ‘fuck you too. You look gay, by the way. Don’t ask me again where the fuck I am. You know that I can’t tell you, you fucking cunt. If I knew I would not tell you anyway. Have you ever been in the middle of nowhere?’

“This is sick, but at least some of the troops had a few Hustlers and I’ve been having a great time checking those out. I got to ask a few questions to the commander and all I got where some evasive answers, but I will quote him anyway, ‘Get the fuck outta my way you pussy reporter, go hide in the fuckin’ armored vehicle before the rag heads blow you away.’ I politely asked him where he was from and his address. I will make a point to go back home, look for him and kick his ass….Anyway, don’t bother me for a while, I’m going to find one of those hot chicks in uniform to see if I get lucky.

“Reporting from this shit hole called Iraq…Me ! Who the hell did you expect, Larry King ? That pussy !”

Or if I was in the briefing at Commando Central answering the questions…..General why does Iraq still has their TV station and radio?”Dude, you ask that once more and I’m going to fucking puke,” The commander said, “are you retarded? What’s the use of blowing it up if we have to re build it with tax payers money later on. Shut the fuck up!

General, when do you expect to arrive to Baghdad?”What the hell ! Are you in a rush to get back to your sissy beachside resort? We will get there when we fucking get there. You should be praying that we don’t end this soon or you will be back to reporting about sex amongst gay squirrels in Central Park…Sit the fuck down !”

What is going to happen when the enemy hides in Mosques and Hospitals, what are the instructions?

“Hey scumbag! the General spat, “I’m not supposed to say this, but I will say it anyway since I bet those Iraqui fucks are watching this…I don’t give a flying fuck if they are hiding in the fucking Mecca, I’m blowing those fuckers away, dressed, undressed, in uniform or not. If they think they will have a haven in those places they are fucking wrong, We gonna get you sucka! They can stick that white flag up their dirty, sand loaded asses, we are going to blow the fuckers up ! And before you ask me the next question, which I know what it is.”

General What do you think of the press participating side by side with the troops? (this being asked by a hot blonde babe reporter)

It’s the best thing that has ever happened,” said the General eyeing her shape, ” let’s say I take off with you in my Humvee and we spin around town for a bit. I could answer all your questions. I will campaign to have all reporters equal you, to improve the morale of the fighting men. Anyway, you are not wearing a bra right? Man you are hot ! And those knockers real !!!!! Would you like to see a Patriot rocket?”

That’s it for this week. next week we won’t be around and Bandit will still be in the Pacific in hiding. We live in uncertain times, so read this and laugh if you want, it’s not intended to bash anyone, just to get the mind away from the shit that is going on. Do the stuff that you always do and appreciate it even more, those little things we take for granted. I hope this mess ends soon. Also I wish all the Bikernet crew a safe and excellent trip….

See you next week, or maybe the next….

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet reporter
— Visit our Web Site http://www.chopperfreak.com

SHOW SOME CLASS– Dress up that game room or garage and let folks know how youfeel at the same time. These patriotic art prints, called Old Glory,are available from the artist Chris Kalllas. They come two ways:Don’t Mess or Don’t Fuck with the USA.

These and other black andwhite prints are availble directly from Chris. Contact him atCGKNAK@aol.com and make sure you check out his color printsthat we offer in the Gulch.

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Ya think this is a little too thin??

ST. PADDY DAY JOKE–Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d justbeen run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,hisface is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp.

“What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender.

“Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy.

“That little shit, O’Conner,” says Sean, “He couldn’t do that to you,he must have had something in his hand.”

“That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had, and a terriblelickin’ he gave me with it.”

“Well,” says Sean, “you should have defended yourself; didn’t youhave something in your hand?”

“That I did,” said Paddy. “Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, and a thingof beauty it was, but useless in a fight.”

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Oh well, we are on the edge of war. That really sucks, with the shitty economy, gas prices going sky high and the World going to hell. Before everyone starts bitching about this, my only thoughts on a war is that no one wins, everyone loses…. I feel really sorry for the people who will suffer due to the unavoidable circumstances, the senseless loss of life and such things (which I don’t even want to mention). I’m guessing the paranoia is running full steam. All we can do is hope for the best, hold on and do what we do everyday. Maybe pray for those who are there and wish them a quick return trip.

This might be strange to those who follow my reports week after week: I will reserve my opinion about this whole mess, about Bush and whomever follows his ideas…..Sometimes I wish that war was like in the old days when generals, emperors and kings had to be on the battle field, dodging the bullet. I believe things would be different. My grandfather use to say, ” It’s not the same to call the devil than to see him coming”

It will amaze me forever how people do shit just to feed their egos. I guess the sickness of all sickness is to have that ego inflated, being the toast of the town, and then return to the nobody world of normal, everyday people. But alas, that ego has to be re inflated, no matter the cost, the lives, nothing mattering….May God dispose of their rotten souls.

I had a really good laugh the other day, what the fuck is that about ” freedom fries” , ” freedom toast” and pouring wine down the drain because the French people don’t want to join. What is it going to be now? Orange dressing, Brit braid, freedom kiss?? If you are pissed because the French people don’t want to participate in the party, don’t buy French stuff. Dude, you already paid for the fucking wine, besides french fries are called “pomme frites” which translates to fried potatoes. I really don’t know who the hell put the ” french” in them (yeah I know another war thing). I’m not being a smart ass either. I’m just looking at things from my spot in the big pond. Yes, I too have close friends and customers who are in the sands of the Middle East, waiting for whatever will happen, and I wish them the best. But don’t get me wrong, all those who will engage in war have a job to do. My job is to put choppers together and write this every week. They are in charge of defending our freedoms, our security, the fucked up part is the interpretation of those two terms…Freedoms….Security….

But let’s think of what is happening, Daytona bike week 2003 the worst Daytona ever, is it the economy? The rain? The insecurity? The cops and the new laws? Maybe all of them, maybe it’s all going to hell. I don’t tend to watch the news nor read newspapers. Why you might ask ? They are fucked up, is my simple answer. I don’t need the crap that is shoved down our throats every day, the killings, the thieves, the mess that this simple life has become. It’s a sad world our children will grow up in.

At least we can always hop on our bikes and ride the highway to hell….Hit the asphalt, enjoy the mountains and the sea, feel the warmth of the sun and enjoy the splattered bug…What the fuck we are on a league of our own, nor Bush, nor Saddam, nor the government and their orange warning…Nothing will take that away from us….You know what ! Do this for you if not because I’m asking, take your wife and kids, give them a kiss and hop on that chopper and cruise down the road howl at the fucking moon while humming your favorite song….To hell with this madness for a while…LIVE !

So let’s get to the news….Speaking of France, we have just been invited to an awesome bike show in Paris, Freeway Magazine puts together a really cool Custom Show. All the hot bikes and vendors from Europe attend this exhibition which will finish with a super party. For those of you who read this on the other side of the sea, the event will take place April 19 &20 for more info check Freeway.

Billy Lane from Choppers Inc has been really busy doing his Biker Build off chopper. Man, I don’t know how he does it. He whipped the Camel bike, the VQ bike and now the second Discovery bike in less than five months… Dave Perewitz is doing the proper in his shop in Mass. They will meet and ride up to Dallas in a couple weeks. Hey, there’s a stop in New Orleans, so I smell some mischief…Guess what, I’ll be rolling with them once more…So I’ll report about it…that’s for sure.

I just received another batch of photos from Daytona, and our own Frank Kaisler is sending some our way, I’ll will post them all in my web site www.ChopperFreak.com, just in case anyone here is curious about it.

The two bobbers are on the works right now, I might post some photos next week of the mock ups. The race against Bandit to the Black Hills is still on, even if he’s sort of bailing out because of the 100th anniversary of Harley. Screw that, I’m going to Sturgis, and if he still wants to go I might get my hands on the new 145 cu inch S&S motor with a mere 189 lbs of torque and around 190 horse. That will teach that stinking Twinkie….

Speaking of such, we all know the latest tire rage..the Metzeler (almost) 280 tire. I know some stuff too. There’s a 320 on the way. Hell, soon the kick stand will be a thing of the past. Will they make them in Whitewall ???

The best thing I’ve heard all week…..” I want to thank all the yups and rubbies, in fact I like them very much. They take stuff off their bikes and sell it cheap, gotta love them. Just in case my number is (such and such) if you have any parts you want to get rid of. I’m guessing that’s the real and cheap way to build the choppas….Cool.

Anyway..I’m out of here….May God be with you all.
Jose Caribbean Bikernet report.

SCORE ONE FOR POWELL– It’s become almost routine for members of the American press tothrow dumb or leading questions at members of the Bush administration. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why Secretary of State Colin Powell seemed so well prepared for the shifty question recently hurled at him byan Iraqi reporter.

According to the New York Post, one of Saddam’s newshounds asked Powell, “Isn’t it true that only 13% of young Americans can locate Iraq ona map?”

“That may be true,” Powell countered. “You’re probably right. But unfortunately for you, all 13% are Marines.”

–from Chris T.

RESPECT–Attached is a picture you have to see. We define patriotism, render respectand honor and pay tribute in many ways. Some people have a different levelof devotion and a different level of pride, some just show it differently.Regardless, it is what’s in your heart that matters. As you look and this shot think of the millions of Americans who have come before us,served their country and then come home only to be forgotten, left behindand in some cases, even discarded by the same people they fought to defend.

Remember those who valiantly served and were cursed when they came home.The gentleman in this attachment is unknown to me. I don’t know who he is,where he has been or even if he ever served a day in the military. BUT, byhis action I would be willing to bet that he served his country, proudlyand with honor, and in his heart! is still serving by doing all that he can toshow his love for his country.

–from Rev CarlR

HEADWINDS ROAD KING LIGHT BARS–New from the leader in motorcycle head lamps, Headwinds has created a custom line of Road King light bars that tuck in Spot lights and turnsignals.

Check out their entire line of quality headlight components from Headwinds at Headwinds.com or e-mail headwinds@aol.com. Tell ’em Bikernet sent ya.

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at theairport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked thecabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspected his wife was having anaffair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into thebedroom.

The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back andthere was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to thenaked man’s head.

The wife shouted, “Don’t do it! This man has been verygenerous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the CorvetteI bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our houseat the lake. He paidfor our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!”

Shakinghis head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He lookedover at the cab driver and said, “What would you do?”

The cabby said, “I’dcover his ass up with that blanket before he catches a cold.”

–Rogue

And future Pilots

TRIBUTE–He is the American Fighting Man who has kept this country free for over 200 years. He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.

–from Bob T.

2003 PERFORMANCE MACHINE CATALOG–Brand spanking new and loaded with valuable information, the 2003 Performance Machine catalog is now available! Bigger and better than last year, the new PM catalog features their complete line of wheels, brakes and controls, as well as the PM Phatail kit and all of their new for ’03 product! Check out the wheels, brakes and controls for the all new V-Rod!

FROM THE BLOND FILES– A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work, just jumping for joy. He didn’t know why she was jumping for joybut thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her. When she said, “Honey, I have some really great news for you!”

He said, “Great, tell me what you’re so happy about!”

She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!

He was ecstatic! They had been trying for awhile. He kissed her and told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier!”

Then, she said, “Oh, honey, there’s more!”

He asked, “What do you mean, ‘more’?”

She said, “Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!”

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he askedher how she knew.

She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and boughtthe twin pack, home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!!”

BUCKSHOT’S REPORT–Guess Biker mag doesn’t like unsolicited e-mail… Sent them a kite last week, and no response. Probably thinks I’m a psycho. Probably right.

Doing a shoot now on a BITCHIN chop… Lot of Jesse James parts, but a lot of creativity too. The kid’s going to be a big name if he keeps this up. Owns Road Rage Performance here in Fresno.

Ran across another one you’d love. Lot of hand-made one-off stuff. ’59 Cad taillights on hand made side mount license plate bracket. The boy can flat-ass barn job some billet!I snapped a couple of shots on the side of the road while getting his name and number for a shoot. I’m sending ya a couple. See ya,

–Buckshot

THERE’S NOTHING LIKE FREEDOM–We so fortunately enjoy here in the United States. It’s incredible. I turned on CNN for five minutes and shut it off. Those bastards pick at anything that walks, every military manuever, and every decision. Pisses me off.

Well, I hope we can share our freedom with the Iraqi people soon, get our people back and party. In the meantime keep the faith for our brothers and sisters in arms, and keep your eyes open and keen.

Ride forever–Bandit

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EASYRIDERS STAFFER BUILDS PIMP-DADDY–Ben L. from the halls of Easyriders recently built this Pimp Daddy. I asked him about the experience. Here’s what he told me in short, “It’s not a complete, but if you want an Old School Pan, it’s cool. It’s missing the starter, primary, alternator, brake rotors, rear caliper, sprocket, chain, seat, wiring, hand controls, clutch, primary chain, or pipes.” Everything fit, he bought GMA brake parts and a new headlight and went to work.

Nice work, Ben. These kits are available through the CSI shop in the Bikernet Gulch.

HEARTFELT QUOTES– LOYALTY means nothing unless it has at its heart the absoluteprincipleof SELF-SACRIFICE——Woodrow Wilson

The STRENGTH of the pack is the wolf, and the STRENGTH of the wolf isthe pack!——Rudyard Kipling

–from Steve Bauman

VON DUTCH LISTING ON EBAY–Ebay listing ends on Saturday. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2165325359

I have owned this since I was about 17. I am now 45. My father was best friends with Von before I was born. Von used to come over to our home every weekend on his antique motorcycles. We used to have to sometimes on a weekly bases, rescue Von from the local Calabasas bars, when he was drinking and fighting. My father was a MC racer, Clifford Coleman. He raced the Six Day Trials in Europe with Bud Ekins, Dave Ekins and Steve McQueen. This was a very tight group of friends. Von was in this circle of friends. I am to this day close friends with Chad McQueen.

I was in my house one day. Von came in and snatched my glasses off my face, and put them on. He then handed me the wrench. He walked away and said, “Hey I can see now”. He left on his MC. That was the last time I had seen him. This wrench is priceless to me. It is going to have to go to a very special person.

The wrench and blade were both made by Von.

I listed it on Ebay last night with a reserve and I am having second thoughts. I hold this wrench close to my heart. It is very sentimental to me! Von was part of my family, he was like a Godfather to me.

I will send you more photos today. I appreciate you getting the word out to special people that will appreciate this priceless wrench. I think the auction ends next Saturday? You can refer people to Ebay.

–Clarke Coleman

BIKERNET PET ADVICE–Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole in the dirt, when herneighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky facedyoungster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you doing, there,Nancy?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, “and I’vejust buried him.”

The neighbor was very concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for goldfish,isn’t it?”

Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, “That’s because he’sinside your fucking cat!”

–from Ken Miller

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE–EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing ametal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopymachine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and policepressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t tellingthe truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

–from Rogue

RACING LEATHERS CHEAP–From now until March 30th, we will be offering 10% off MPS Bracket Racer Leathers. Check it out on our web special page atwww.mpsracing.com/Pages/specials.htm . I don’t think you can find a better deal in quality leathers! Dealers, this offerwill get you 10% off your pricing as well. You will need to mention the

Internet special to get this sale pricing. Go to our web site atwww.mpsracing.com and click on the secure order form to order yours today.These purchases will count towards the 2003 contingency purchases, soregister online now! Click on over to the ever growing instruction areawhile you are surfing. You will find over 50 sets of product instructionsfor MPS, MSD, NOS, Dyna, and Computech products. And as always, enter theTether Kill Switch drawing.

–Dan Ruddwww.mpsracing.com

ARLEN’S NEW BUILDING OPENS SATURDAY–Arlen will have an Open House at the new building on Saturday and Sunday, March 29th and 30th. Food and live music. Everyone welcome!!

Check the Arlen Ness web site. It’s too hip for me.

BAKER ON BOARD–We’re proud to announce that Baker in now a Sponsor on Bikernet. They manufacture the best in transmission parts for this industry check their site and watch for tech articles on Bikernet involving Baker components.

PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE 2ND ANNUAL RIDE–America?s Ride is a twelve-day, coast-to-coast motorcycle and community fundraising event that raises money for the World Trade Center Miracles Foundation. Leaving Los Angeles, California on August 31, 2003, the 2nd annual ride travels across the country to Shanksville, PA and Washington D.C., ending at Ground Zero, New York on September 11 to assist those who were affected by the terrorist attacks.

HIGH OCTANE BLOCK PARTY–The High Octane Block Party is Saturday May 10, 2003 at East Pine Ave./Maple in Fresno. We’re bl;ocking off the whole street and setting up a Beer garden, food vendors including Bobby Salazars Mexican food and Fat Tony’s Hot Rodding Hot Dogs, retail vendors, FOUR different live bands plus a DJ, a live all day pinstripe demo, and a major Kustom car and Bike show.

We’ve talked to car clubs and riders from as far away as L.A., over on the coast and on up north who have said they were gonna drop by. Vicious rumors are circling about the Golddigger girls coming out to strut their stuff too. There is always room for more vendors too.

You can get more info by emailing RoadRageFresno@aol.com or calling Iron Kross Rods & Kustoms @ 559.454.9000

SPRING CHAMPIONSHIPS MARCH 30TH– In Sealy, Texas.Get ready again South East Texas- It’s Springtime!! And everybody will be headin’ for one of the BEST Dragstrips in the USA, March 30th for the 7th Annual “Texas Style Party Drags”! Lone Star Raceway Park just west of Houston in Sealy will be Packed with Gearheads and Partiers- Don’t Miss This One!

Featuring: NITRO HARLEYS with 30 Sportsman Classes for ANY type of Harley!Also featuring a Full Vendor Midway with Cheap Used Parts – Traveling Parts Distributors and Seasonal Leather Deals!

$20.00 for Adults – $5.00 for Kids 5-12 and under 5 free!
Gates open at 9am
Track opens at 10am
Eliminations Start at 2pm
For more information and driving directions check out www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066!
SEE YOU THERE!

Also don’t forget about the Dallas Swap Meet April 13 at the Longhorn Ballroom!

BIKERNET CUSTOM OF THE WEEK–from Rogue

SPEEDFREAKS PUT AN OPEN WHEEL CHERRY ON THEIR SUNDAY– This Sunday night from the Lucas Oil Studios, SpeedFreaks will get a mouthful of open wheel hullabaloo from three of the genres most outspoken. If the trio can help it, they might get ‘a little bit’ on the Freak Nation.

“Knocking down a show like this will be one for the archives,” says SpeedFreaks Kenny Sargent. “Mario Andretti will roll just as he rolled over every other F1 driver in ’78…Chris Pook will, well, Pook will be Pook just as he was before and now as CART CEO…and Buddy, who knows what he’ll bring into The Nation straight from his throwdown after his IRL run at Phoenix International Raceway Sunday afternoon.”

Other highlights include Lugg Nuttz recap of his Freakin’ Adventure to The Lucas Oil 250 NASCAR Truck Race in Bakersfield this weekend. Plus, as they do after every race weekend, winners from NASCAR’s Busch and Truck series will be callin’ on the vine.

For an additional SpeedFreaks affiliate listing, log on to www.sportsbyline.com/affil.htm.

SONS OF LIBERTY RIDERS E-NEWS–Library Records Slipped To The Feds.Along with the usual reminders to hold the noise down and pay overdue fines,library patrons in Santa Cruz are seeing a new type of sign these days: awarning that records of the books they borrow may wind up in the hands offederal agents. The signs, posted in the 10 county branches last week and on thelibrary’s Web site, also inform the reader that the USA Patriot Act”prohibits library workers from informing you if federal agents haveobtained records about you.” “Questions about this policy,” patrons are told, “should be directedto Attorney General John Ashcroft, Department of Justice, Washington, D.C.20530.” Library goers were swift to denounce the act’s provisions.

Firearms Act: HR 648 was introduced to “protect the right to obtain firearms for security,and to use firearms in defense of self, family,or home, and to provide for the enforcement of such right.” The bill notesthat police “cannot protect, and are not legally liable for failing toprotect, individual citizens,” and that citizens “frequently must usefirearms to defend themselves.”

It also notes that “Law-abiding citizens, seeking only to provide for theirfamilies’ defense, are routinely prosecuted for brandishing or using afirearm in self- defense.” Rep. Wilson’s bill seeks to correct this fact; weneed to help himget this bill passed.

ACTION ITEM: The courts have granted immunity from prosecution to policeofficers who use firearms in the line of duty.Similarly, law-abiding citizens who use firearms to protect themselves,their families, and their homes against violent felons should not be subjectto lawsuits by the violent felons who sought to victimize them.

Contact your legislators and ask them to support HR 648, the “Citizens’Self-Defense Act of 2003”. Go to the site belowto send your Congressman and two Senators a direct message: http://www.conservativealerts.com/031103.htm AOL GO HERE

TEXAS MOTOR SPEEDWAY BANS MOTORCYCLES– Effective with the 2003 season, two-wheeled motorizedvehicles (including licensed motorcycles) will not be allowed in thecampgrounds, including the infield.

Anyone operating unapproved unlicensed motorized vehicles (ATV’s,golf carts, two-wheeled vehicles, etc.), will be asked to immediately takethem off property and not be allowed to return.

Please call the Texas Motor Speedway ticket office at (817) 215-8500 formore information.

Continued On Page 4

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NEXT BIKERNET FEATURE BIKE–Watch for this sleek Cyril Huze monster to hit the site in less than a week. Here’s his Daytona report: We all dried up after 10 days of rain & storm in Daytona. We still managed to ride our bikes, gave interviews to the Discovery & the Travel Channels, did pictures for a new coffee table book on the ‘Art Of The Choppers’ and for European magazines, met our clients and friends at bike shows, and drunk a lot (of hot chocolate) at our favorite place on Beach Street: Martini’s (the best Italian food and the best looking/friendly/motorcycle knowledgeable waitresses in town).

For the 1st time, we showed our latest creation called “Exotika”. ’03 confirmed the two big trends in custom building: the retro Choppers and the new high tech Softails with a low stance and a very fat front tire on a 16″ wheel. “Exotika” emphasizes this latest trend. It’s Cyril’s vision of what a 21st century high tech Hot Rod motorcycle should look like. Very macho…

Although attendance was down because of bad weather, and the number of cops was up for no reason, Bike Week was still Bike Week: an exceptional social event of people of all ages, races, social classes, sharing in the same place their love and passion for motorcycles. If there is a special memory we will keep from this 2003 edition, it is this shy 10 years-old little girl who came to visit Cyril on his booth. She had a small notebook and wanted an autograph and a small sketch of a different motorcycle on each page. For her and five of her girlfriends at school in Tampa. Then, we looked at her disappearing in the crowd, with a big smile on her face, her notebook signed by Cyril, and wearing one of our tee-shirts (too big for her). Let’s never forget that our profession is a beautiful one. For a simple reason: it goes well beyond designing motorcycles…

NEW IN CYRIL HUZE WEBSITE:

* Download for free a new screensaver with 45 studio pictures of our creations including the new one called “Exotika”..

* In our store at http://storecyrilhuze.com , you can order our new 124-page parts catalog, or browse online to see our new parts.

Our hottest new 2003 items are:
Custom Exhausts at: http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/default.asp?CategoryID=10042
Spikee Mirrors at: http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/Details.asp?ProductID=10184
Goodson Air Cleaners at: http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/Details.asp?ProductID=10209
Spikelight Turn Signals at: http://store.cyrilhuze.com/CyrilHuze/Accessories/Details.asp?ProductID=10170

For retail clients, we offer secure online ordering with a credit card and worldwide shipping.

HAUTE-MOTEUR. THE ART OF THE CHOPPER– If you love custom motorcycles, you can write the name of this new “coffee table” book on your Christmas list. Still in preparation, it will be released on time for the Holidays. Cyril Huze joins Jesse James, Arlen Ness, Ron Simms, Jim Nasi, Roger Bourget, Billy Lane, Mitch Bergeron, Paul Yaffe and a few others, to illustrate the Art of the Choppers.

The book is about designers who build $70,000 motorcycles to die for! It?s about their legerdemain with sheet metal, and their legendary personas. It’s not about biker culture; it’s about how the bikes are culture. And it’s about the men who build them. The theme is the celebration of an American art form. It is a testament in the guise of an elegant volume of fine-art photographic prints that will be as well regarded on coffee tables in Missoula as Manhattan. It will be just as appropriate to find it in the bookstores of metropolitan artmuseums as on shop tables in every wrencher’s garage. You might say this isn’t Vogue; and instead of chiffon you’re gonna get chrome. But this tome is a tribute to high fashion nonetheless. Instead of the glamorization of haute couture, we give you Haute Moteur: The Art of the Chopper.

Customs Forever!

Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles & Parts
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Website:
http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com

HOLIDAY FOR MEN–TODAY– MARCH 20–Guys, you know the drill. Every 14th of February youget the chance to display your fondness for a significant other byshowering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles thatwomen find romantic.

Every Valentine’s Day you rack your brains for that onespecial, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you reallydolove them more than any other.

Now ladies, I’ll let you in on a little secret; guys really don’t enjoy thisthat much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right ispriceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat andconsideration. Another secret– guys feel left out.

That’s right, there’s no special holiday for the ladies to show theirappreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proudor too embarrassed to admit it.

Which is why a new holiday has been created. March 20th is now officially”Steak and Blowjob Day.” Simple, effective and self explanatory, thisholiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show yourman how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on thetown; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ.That’sit.

Finally, this twin pair of Valentine’s Day and Steak and Blowjob Day willusher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder inFebruary to ensure a memorable March 20th. Its like a perpetual lovemachine!

The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, itneeds a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and helpbring love and peace to this crazy world.And, of course, steak and bjs!

–from Rogue

DAYTONA IN THE ROCKIES– I survied Daytona’s drowning one week on the road limping back in a used van after replacing one Alternator, two Starters, three batteries, cables, four front Alignments and finally Five tires later!!

Always look forward to reading Rogue’s write up “Daytona Flordia Sinks Giving Up Her Land To The Swamps Of Hell!”

Fuck, it was bad but makes for a great “true” and interesting event feature coverage. I have begun to write up a ruff draft. I will submit it to Scan Bike and magazines published in Denmark. Thinking of offering another write up different photos to a biker newspaper published in Texas Skunk Dots.

I’d like to appologize to you in not inquiring if Bikernet.com would be interested in information packet regarding Vendor information for Rally in the Rockies Four Corners 2003? If Bikernet is already booked perhabs you know of another who is interested. If not a vendor packet may be registration forms or even a sponsorship proposal?

Now that Daytona Bike Week is over except for writing and submitting, my mind, soul and entire life is all 100% focused and devoted on the Rally in the Rockies event.

Let me know if you want me to send you any information or contact listings, what’s what, who’s who and who do I have to kill now?

Take care my brother

BB
(714) 840-6771
Rally in the Rockies Publicist
www.rallyintherockies.com
Email: dustymissbb@netscape.net
Phone & Fax (714) 840-6771

BROTHER NEEDS HELP– MC Accident happened to Paul Sothbey Friday night. He’s at Good Sam. in Phoenix 602-239-3301, the hospital needsinfo because he can’t remember anything, family, friends or anything sothey can let someone know.

Paul Sothbey 74 yrs old and he has severe head injury’s from this mc accident and this needs to get out. So if youknowof any other website or , Hog Chapter, MC Club or any other site thatI missed please let them know this rider needs our help.

— Mike S. MMA SRD
“Pyro” pyro_az@hotmail.com

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THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS
Compiled & Edited by BILL BISH
National Coalition of Motorcyclists

HEALTH CARE BILL NEEDS MOTORCYCLISTS’ SUPPORT S. 423, the “Health Care Parity for Legal Transportation and Recreational Activities Act” introduced in Congress by Senators Russ Feingold (D-WI) and Susan Collins (R-ME), would prohibit health insurance providers from denying benefits to injured motorcyclists.

In recent years, some insurance companies have refused to provide coverage for insureds involved in motorcycle accidents or other so-called “risky” activities such as skiing, horseback riding, snowmobiling, off-road biking and ATV riding. Bikers and Motorcycle Rights Organizations worked hard during the mid-90?s to convince Congress to include language in the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 to bar insurers from denying coverage to injured riders, but a loophole in HIPAA allows insurers to continue the discriminatory practice.

S. 423 would “promote health-care coverage parity for individuals participating in legal recreational activities or legal transportation activities,” by closing the loophole and prohibiting employers from refusing to cover motorcycle related injuries in the health care coverage they provide their employees.

Help end health insurance discrimination by urging your U.S. Senators to support the Feingold-Collins bill and to sign on as a co-sponsor to S. 423. You can contact your Senators at (202) 224-3121 or locate them on the web at www.senate.gov.

LOUISIANA PUSHES PASSENGER HELMET LAW Go tell yer ol’ lady that the state of Louisiana wants to put a helmet on her head whenever she’s riding on the p-pad, then write to their House Transportation Committee to let them know her reaction!

“Most of the people who like to ride on the back of scooters enjoy the freedom we have in Louisiana as much as the riders in the front,” said Steve Howardell, Legislative Coordinator for ABATE of Louisiana. “This bill is the first step in eroding our hard fought freedom in the Pelican State and the first step in repealing SB-86 which granted us our right to choose in 1999.”

This bill, HB-41, if passed will require passengers on all motorcycles, regardless of age, to wear a helmet at all times in Louisiana. “We need to fight back,” says Howardell. “Write your legislators and let them know that we, the 86,000 strong registered riders of Louisiana, their passengers, their friends and family will not go backwards. We are a voting block to be reckoned with and we will stand together!”

In the meantime, the state of Rhode Island is considering repealing their passenger helmet law, the only such law on the books in the United States. HB-5503 would remove the passenger helmet requirement, and was heard recently in the House Health, Education & Welfare Committee. “The Rhode Island Motorcycle Association testified in favor of the bill, and it looked pretty good,” said Jeff Barone, President of RIMA and a member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) Board of Directors.

“My advice will be to get a woman who rides her own bike as well as on the back of her old man’s, and have her ask the committee members ‘Why do I need to wear a helmet based on where I sit on the bike?’,” said Barone.

“Many of us worked long hard hours drafting this legislation and we need to show our elected officials that this is important to us, and it’s something we all believe in; Freedom of Choice,” he said.

WASHINGTON’S “HELMET IS A HELMET” BILL PASSES SENATE A helmet definition bill passed the Washington State Senate on March 11 by a vote of 44-3, and would redefine the law to state that a helmet is a hard shell with a padded liner, a chin strap, and a DOT sticker affixed by the manufacturer. “For those of you who haven’t been following along, Washington police currently have the latitude to define a helmet by their opinion, leading to thousands of traffic stops for “illegal” helmets with no recourse for the rider,” explained Rich Bright, Chairman of the ABATE of Washington Legislative Affairs Committee. “I took my 100% legal beanie to court and lost based solely on the opinion of the officer, even though I demonstrated that it was legal under federal and state law.”

SB-5335 would define what a “motorcycle helmet” is. “This bill would say that a helmet is a helmet and that the police couldn’t pull people over to inspect helmets anymore. It pretty much says that if a helmet has a hard outer shell and a chin strap you are good to go,” says Bright.

The bill now goes over to the House of Representatives. Washington residents can contact your State Representatives by calling 1-800-562-6000.

ARKANSAS DERAILS HELMET LAW REINSTATEMENT In 1996, Arkansas became the first state to repeal its helmet law following the repeal of the national helmet law, but HB 1024 would have restored their universal helmet law. ABATE of Arkansas and the Lobbyist for the Arkansas Motorcycle Dealers Association presented such a strong case against this bill during hearings in the Public Transportation Committee that the bill died without a vote being taken. Way-2-Go Arkansas! The bill is now officially dead, and ABATE vows to watchdog their State Legislature to ensure it doesn’t get revived or amended into another piece of legislation.

“ODD” ACCIDENTS OUTNUMBER MOTORCYCLE FATALITIES According to the National Safety Council, more people were killed in “odd” accidents than on motorcycles in 1999, points out Joe “Cowboy” Dickey. “Of those who might have survived with a helmet, stair walkers led the list,” stated Cowboy, former State Coordinator for ABATE of Pennsylvania and a member of the NCOM Board of Directors.

Check these killers out:
* Bitten by a dog (25)
* Stung by a hornet, wasp, or bee (43)
* Scalded to death by hot tap water (51)
* Struck by lightning (64)
* Occupant of commercial bus or train (116)
* Drowned in a bathtub (320)
* Accidentally suffocated or strangled in bed (330)
* Fell off of a ladder (375)
* Fell down stairs or steps (1,421)

2.5 MILLION MOTORCYCLISTS PASS RIDER ED More than 2.5 million motorcyclists have received a proper start to riding or boosted their existing skills during 30 years of operation of the Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF). Since 1973, MSF has worked to promote the safety of motorcyclists on American streets and highways, through rider education, training and public information programs. Both today and for the past three decades, most of the motorcycle training courses in states across the country offer only the highly regarded MSF RiderCourses. MSF released its first rider training curriculum in 1974. At the 3rd International Motorcycle Safety Conference in 2001, MSF introduced the Basic RiderCourse (BRC) now used in 47 states, most of which were legislated due to the efforts of State Motorcycle Rights Organizations nationwide.

LEGISLATORS RAID UTAH RIDER ED FUND On Tuesday, Feb 18th, 2003, the Utah Executive Appropriations Committee moved to take funds from the account reserved for Motorcycle Rider Education and spend it on the states budget. This move could end affordable rider training in Utah, according to Chris Bojanower, former State President of ABATE of Utah.

During the Executive Appropriations meeting, Senator D. Chris Buttars (R-Salt Lake) told the committee that, “We have received about 200 calls from a bunch of bikers, we took their money?you will receive calls from them too, IGNORE THEM, it’s just a little training fund and we took it.”

“Needless to say, we were livid!,” said Lisa Bargar Vlahos of Weber Chapter ABATE, who attended the hearing and later told Senator Buttars, “Senator, you told the Appropriations Committee that you got about 200 calls from a bunch of bikers, that they would get calls too and just IGNORE THEM! Senator, you DIDN’T get calls from a bunch of bikers. You got calls from 200 REGISTERED VOTERS! From 200 TAXPAYERS, what kind of elected official are you to say ‘IGNORE THEM’?!!”

This “little training fund” was created by motorcyclists, for motorcyclists and has never cost the non-motorcyclist citizens of Utah one cent in its 10 years of operations, claims ABATE. “It has trained well over 3,000 new motorcyclists in Utah and many motorcyclists attribute the declining motorcycle death rate in Utah to this program, at a time when national fatality rates are soaring,” said Bojanower.

So what can be done now? “Every motorcyclist in Utah MUST contact their legislators now and request that the Education Program be saved and that the money be restored to the program and never raided again,” urges Bojanower.

Utah State Senators can be contacted at (801) 538-1035, and State Representatives can be contacted at (801) 538-1029. Also, information about legislators can be found on the web at

HEARINGS HELD ON BIKER PROFILING Washington State recently held hearings on House Bill 2002, “AN ACT Relating to preventing the use of law enforcement profiling on the basis of whether a person is riding a motorcycle or wearing motorcycle-related paraphernalia; and adding a new section to chapter 43.101 RCW.”

“This bill is currently running through the House to help start the discussion, and gain physical proof that profiling happens,” said ABATE legislative coordinator Rich Bright. “This will hopefully lead to a Biker Anti-Discrimination Bill.”

HB 2002 was heard in the House Criminal Justice & Corrections Committee, and states in part:

(1) Local law enforcement agencies shall:
(a) Adopt a written policy designed to condemn and prevent motorcycle profiling;
(b) Review and audit their existing procedures, practices, and training to ensure that they do not enable or foster the practice of motorcycle profiling;
(c) Institute training to address the issues related to motorcycle profiling. Officers should be trained in how to better interact with persons they stop so that legitimate police actions are not misperceived as motorcycle profiling; and
(d) Work with the motorcycle groups in their communities to appropriately address the issue of motorcycle profiling.

The bill also calls for the “Washington Association of Sheriffs and Police Chiefs to coordinate with the criminal justice training commission to ensure that issues related to motorcycle profiling are addressed in basic law enforcement training and offered in regional training for in-service law enforcement officers at all levels.”

HB 2002 defines “motorcycle profiling” as “using the fact that a person rides a motorcycle or wears motorcycle-related paraphernalia as a factor in deciding to stop and question, take enforcement action, arrest, or search a person or vehicle with or without legal basis under the United States Constitution or the Washington state Constitution.”

TEXAS BIKERS “LOOKING FOR JUSTICE” Hundreds of Texans, usually as part of special interest groups, descend on the state Capitol every day when Texas lawmakers are in session, according to a March 2 story in the El Paso Times. “Most have rallies outside the Capitol to champion support and funding for their cause. El Paso bikers recently came to Austin looking not for more money but simply a little more justice. They joined an estimated 3,000 other motorcyclists to push issues important to them, such as fair insurance, equal access to hotels and other business establishments and increased penalties for automobile drivers who fail to yield to bikers,” writes Gary Scharrer in his article.

El Paso’s Armando “Mando” Parra showed up in a wheelchair after back surgery less than a week earlier. “It’s important enough for me to be here,” Parra said. “We get discriminated every day. There are nightclubs that won’t allow us in because you wear colors or because you ride motorcycles. Or a motel will see you ride up and say there’s no vacancy when there really is a vacancy.”

Parra is chairman of the West Texas Confederation of Clubs, chairman of the Coalition of Motorcycles in El Paso, vice chairman of the Texas Motorcycle Rights Association and secretary-treasurer of the Banditos Motorcycle Club in El Paso.

“We have been working our Equal Access Bills and have over 2/3 of both Houses signed on to vote yes. That is a veto proof majority,” says Sputnik, TMRA-II Founder and member of the NCOM Legislative Task Force. “Now if they just stand fast.”

Texas State Rep. Norma Chavez, a motorcyclist herself who is better known by her road name “Da’Lady”, has, as a member of TMRA-II, introduced HB 931 to set a minimum sentence of 30 days in jail for injuring or killing someone while failing to yeild. “I have spent the last week just getting the House familiar with this Bill, and we already have 1/3 of the House signed on to vote yes,” according to Sputnik.

In addition, “We got our insurance Bill introduced today, and it is a triple edged sword,” explains Sputnik. It states a health care plan may not:(1) exclude a person engaged in dangerous activities from coverage for health benefits under the plan;(2) consider the activity as a risk factor in determining the person’s premium under the plan; (3)exclude coverage for health benefits for injuries sustained as a result of engaging in the activity.

Sputnik said lawmakers have learned to expect the bikers at the Capitol, who believe they have just as much say as high-paid lobbyists. “This is our way of trying to push for some good government,” Sputnik told the newspaper. “Needless to say, we have our plates full this session.”

TENNESSEE BIKERS HOPE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES Another state with its hands full this legislative session is Tennessee, where the Concerned Motorcyclists of Tennessee/ABATE is actively supporting numerous pieces of legislation, including two companion helmet repeal bills in the House and Senate (HB0952 / SB0861), companion Stop Light Bills to allow motorcyclists to proceed through a non-functioning traffic signal (HB1054 / SB1200), bills to allow the use of pulsating brake lights (HB1819 / SB1765), biker anti-discrimination bills (HB1899 / SB1863), bills to create an off-highway motor vehicle program (HB1568 / SB0875), and a Senate Joint Resolution to designate May as “Motorcycle Awareness Month” (SJR0104).

“Each of these bills will afford motorcyclists in Tennessee to practice their choice of transportation/recreation with more freedom and enhanced safety and enjoyment,” said Steve Lundwall, State Director of CMT/ABATE and a newly elected member of the NCOM Board of Directors. Tennesseans can contact their state legislators by calling 1-800-449-8366 and following the menu, or via the Internet at .

“All Tennessee Motorcyclists need to speak up now,” Lundwall advises. “Only you can make the choice to make a change.”

VIRGINIA RIDERS LOBBY FOR SAFER ROADS “Virginia motorcyclists want legislators to make state roads safer for them, and they’ll lobby in dramatic fashion,” states an Associated Press article sent over the wire services on January 20, 2003. Virginia Motorcycle Lobby Day saw riders roaring into Richmond to demonstrate their support for proposed legislation involving motorcycle safety. A key bill involves a proposal to require signs on Virginia roads where roadway conditions or construction methods pose safety threats to motorcycles. The Virginia Coalition of Motorcyclists contends that roadway construction sites are routinely not marked to alert riders to hazards.

“We’re dedicated to safe motorcycling,” said Tom McGrath, VCOM Founder and Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) Attorney for Virginia. “This bill is about creating a safer environment to ride in.”

ABATE OF SOUTH DAKOTA NEEDS HELP GETTING LAW CHANGED ABATE of South Dakota is trying to get a law changed, and could use some out of state help. This law affects all riders that travel to Sturgis, and is unfair.

The handlebar height limit in SD is strictly enforced — particularly during Sturgis Bike Week, and ABATE of SD is working to get it changed. “One argument used is that in other instances, if a vehicle is legal in its home state, it is legal for temporary use in another state,” says ABATE. “Yet, South Dakota tags out of state visitors for an equipment violation that could be legal in the tourist’s home state. Reciprocity on legal motor vehicle equipment could help South Dakota tourism, image, and revenue.”

ABATE of South Dakota is requesting assistance from out of state riders to help convince theirlegislature that this is an issue people are concerned about and it needs to be addressed.

“If any non-resident actually gets a ticket for handlebar height violations, we need to know,” said Al Luze, editor of ABATE of South Dakota?s newsletter, “Freedom Flyer.” “We are planning to discuss this issue with the highway patrol, and with any luck, this coming summer we may be able to at least keep the state cops from harassing out of state riders. We will keep you updated.”

To help, please send letters to:
Letters to the Editor
ABATE of South Dakota “Freedom Flyer”Sioux Falls, SD 57110
or email to:

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH: Biker Sculpture To Slow Down Speeders In the town of Basalt, Colorado, on Old Highway 82 on the road to Aspen, is a “ham-fisted fellow [who] stands about 7 feet tall, sports tattoos on both arms and looks intimidating, despite the toothy smile. His vest is too small to cover his white pasty belly. Across his chest are the words, ‘Slow down’,” reports the Aspen Times.

The town with a population of 65 residents commissioned a number of statues besides the biker dude, including a pirate, giraffe and giant sunflower, to be used as “traffic calming” devices. The sculptures were designed and built by students of Basalt High School. Residents were concerned about motorists speeding through the town, but a tight budget ruled out speed bumps. The art, built for a couple hundred bucks and the students handiwork is hoped to solve the problem.

QUOTABLE QUOTES: “There is nothing to take a man’s freedom away from him, save other men. To be free, a man must be free of his brothers.”AYN RAND, Russian born novelist & philosopher (1905 – 1982)

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

The month of March this year has been one of grief and heartache for many of us around the country. We’ve all lost family and brothers and sisters of the road. I don’t remember any time that I’ve spent so many days at graves and funerals. These are things we live with day to day, but the real sorrow is the needless loss of life from negligence. We all know it, but it bears repeating for all the new riders among us: MOTORCYCLES are INVISIBLE to the average driver. They will run you over and say they never saw you. All too often, they aren’t held responsible even with as little as a traffic citation. This needs to come to a screeching halt. In Oregon, BikePAC is trying to get a bill through to enhance the criminal penalties for vehicular assault. We worry ourselves into a tizzy over unfair helmet laws, yet pay little or no attention to the carnage on our highways. I have to tell you, I’m a damn sight more concerned about staying alive and stopping the careless and murderous drivers than I am about a lid on my noggin. Doesn’t mean I’m for the lid law, I hate it like sin, but it does mean I think we need to start putting some priorities on what we fight for and how hard we fight for it. FREEDOM is NOT FREE. It’s long past time we recognized that as a fact of life.

NEWS BITS’N’PIECES:

NYC, NY: The New York Times probably isn’t the first publication you’d look to for biker info, but they DID have a really funny article recently, “Wandering Jews,” but on Harleys. My boss Sam Hochberg sent it to me by email. It’s about the growth of Jewish patch clubs – I figure they’re one-piece or two-piece patches, but I sure haven’t actually SEEN one yet. I take it from the article that these clubs are mostly rubbie and yuppie riders, with a few long-in-the-tooth riders mixed in. I still think “rubbie” is a dirty word. You know, the MORE knees there are in the breeze, the better it is for ALL bikers. When the well-to-do and connected riders know more about what we’re up against every day, the likelier we are to get some CHANGE.

I got a kick out of one Jewish club in New York, the Star of Davidson MC. They sell a t-shirt online (www.starofdavidson.com) with the outline of a big Jewish star of David, and the words, in that Hebrew lettering style, “My Hog is Kosher.” These guys in New York DO stick together to ride as a form of brotherhood with fellow male riders. At least ONE gal back there got riled by the “guy thing.” Jane Seley shot off a letter to the editor a day after the article appeared, and here’s what she said: “I would like it to go on record that I am a Jewish woman who has been biking since I was 11 years old and I would rather bike than bake!” Honey, your old uncle Gunny here would be proud to ride with ya any time. We have Christian riders, why not Hebrews, too? NOTE: If you’d like to get articles like these from the New York Times, you can register at www.nytimes.com for free.

VIET NAM: Now this is something to cause an old fashioned feud. We are told a minor motorcycle crash in a village near Hanoi sparked a riot that involved over a thousand people from two villages. The thing lasted about three hours and it took the local gendarmes nearly an hour to bring the festivities to a halt. Nearly 17 people were hurt and 20 houses were damaged in the melee. The guys that the altercation started over were unhurt. I don’t condone senseless violence, but at least it shows me that somewhere in the world motorcycles mean something to the public.

CINCINNATI, OHIO: Norton, that great old bike with a lot of history, is making history again. These guys announced a new giant V-Twin at the V-Twin Expo Trade Show in Cincinnati. It’s called the Nemesis, and get this: It’s powered by the largest production engine available – a 125 cubic inch, 2050 cc Merch/Norton V-Twin. It’ll get ya 130 ft lbs of torque to your rear wheel, it’s rubber-mounted, with belt drive and a 6-speed tranny. The company info on the bike claims that these “Merch” people, an American/Canadian company, have been putting out reliable engines for some time now. MAN, and I thought my new 1800cc Wing was the bee’s knees! I guess whatever you do, there’s always somebody gonna make something bigger. I’d sure like to take a spin on this new Nemesis, though! Keep a weather eye out in your area for dealers, at least to take a gawk at it.

SAN JOSE, CA: For those among you who can’t keep your fingertips offa your computer, there’s yet another way to look at motorcycles online: Seems E-Bay has bought another business that specializes in selling vehicles, so E-Bay has expanded their base in that area. You can go to “www.ebaymotors.com,” and let your fingers look for your next putt.

KARACHI, PAKISTAN: Bikes are being used as bombs again. And it’s in that part of the world where just about ANYTHING can get turned into a bomb. I guess it’s that undeniable ability of a bike to scoot in just about anywhere that makes ’em easy to use for that. In this case, a bomb was hidden on a bike that sat in a parking lot of some big state-owned oil company. The government there thinks it was intended as a message to the anti-terrorism forces, since it didn’t blow up anything or anybody. But any way y’look at it, it’s a waste of a motorcycle!

EUGENE, OREGON: Another day, another dose of police abuse in this otherwise liberal college town. This time, it’s because a member of the Free Souls MC, Eugene chapter, was tossed out of the Lane County Fair because he was wearing his colors. Never mind that he’s a regular family guy with a regular job, NO criminal record, NO ruckus, and NO problems. After about an hour there, while his wife was eating cotton candy, the Eugene cops surrounded the two of them and escorted them out. Why? It’s “gang-free” at the fair. Telling them that the FSMC has been around as a CLUB for over 30 years means nothing to them. What will mean something is the civil rights lawsuit being filed against them by our Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) Attorney for Oregon, Sam Hochberg, and his associate for the case, Bill Redden. Stay tuned to the Sack for more, or come to the NCOM Convention May 8-10th in Milwaukee, where Sam will be giving a talk about this case and others.

WOODCLIFF LAKE, NJ: BMW has donated six R 1100 RT-P police motorcycles to the Dept. of Defense, to help the Pentagon Police establish their first motorcycle unit. The donation is part of the company’s program to provide bikes to law enforcement in areas hit hard by the September 11th tragedy.

GUNNY AGAIN: Our National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) Convention is rapidly approaching folks, and reservations are going FAST. If you haven’t made your’s ya better hurry. Ya just plain don’t want to miss this one. Call the National Coalition of Motorcyclists for further details at 1-800-525-5355, or go to www.ON-A-BIKE.com. It’s coming up early in May, so make your reservations NOW. AND, it’s in Milwaukee, for the motor company’s 100th celebration! Keep the round side on the bottom. Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff

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In the meantime the whole ” press central thing” was catching up. Our own Frank Kaisler (who is always good to see) was there to shoot the shit. Giuseppe from Freeway, Yass from Vibes, Dollar from Kopteri, Zed and Eric from Freeway France, Sheriff from Sweden, even Howard Kelly and Eric from Hot Bike/ Street Choppers came by to say hello. It was truly an international meeting place, and by the way, I’m not dropping names. I guess we are just fortunate enough to be able to call these people our friends.

On the same line, Mike Pullin and Meanest visited us a couple times (we had fun bashing the old man) as well as Fabricator Kevin who gave me a really cool points cover with my sun logo in it. It’s always great to meet people in person that you have known through computers for such a long time. I know there’s others. Forgive me if you are not mentioned, but you know who you are. I’m glad to have been able to put faces with names.

Folks liked my new chopper–made my day. After busting our asses for a solid month it was the best reward to watch other riders photograph the latest Caribbean creation. There’s also the photo shoots, but I guess you will find out about those when the are published. The new island shirts were well liked, we had some. We hope to do this booth thing in the near future, but with more people, more friends and even more cool bikes (maybe Bandit will join us next time ? ). We also managed to ride a bit, to the hotel and back, but the weather was so shitty that we ended up caging most of the time. When the skies cleared the insanity returned and Main Street was packed. People to see and be seen everywhere. I visited Main in two occasions only, most of the time looking for cool chops and trying to move amongst the cattle like humanity. Sad to say, we might have seen two or three cool chops in the entire street.The peacock parade was in full force. The cops were having a ball busting the throttle offenders. I really don’t get why people have to crack their pipes while doing the street crawl. More power to them and less money after the ticket.

Likewise I was getting sick of seeing Hummers with trailers. That truck is as bitchin as they come but being reduced to a yuppie- mobile is kind of odd. Like I noticed most of the industry people driving dually’s. It will be a dark day when those become the status symbol.

We had a blast and were treated as family at Willie’s Tropical Tattoo. Geno was getting another tat for the magazine, and we hung around to show our support, bust his balls and drive back his truck if we had to. In his drunken stupor he was actually being pretty funny, some really cool stuff was going on backstage. Also Hackasaw showed up with his TN mafia and a bunch of Trumps. He presented Geno with a very clear and strong brew. It must have been good since he dropped the Rebel Yell and went straight for the clear liquid. Smoke blasted out from his ears….

Day after day we all waited for the event to start but it never did. People would come out of nowhere, like cockroaches, with the slightest hint of sun, or a lull in the rain. They’d disappear as soon as the blessed water flowed once more.We all managed, as best as we could, to fire up more than one impromptu rain party at the booths. What the hell can you do when it’s raining horizontally? We drank beer, talked shit and checked all the chicks participating at the amateur “wet t-shirt contest”.

No one left any of our booths with a wet shirt. It did not matter if they had money or not. The only act of warfare erupted when Suzanne and Mary Ann stole our heater and held a big ass ransom on it. lucky, I am patient. There will be a pay-back, one way or the other…

This report might be a bit different, but I guess it is the first time I see everything from inside a booth. I ‘ve been to Daytona many times, but never as a vendor. I think this is the first year ever that I did not make it to the Rat’s Hole show, nor the swap meet. According to our guys who did, they sucked anyway, so I did not miss much.

To end all this blabbering already–yes, it was the worst Daytona ever in an economic sense. None of our fellow vendors were happy about it, but we had such a good time amongst friends, cool choppers and stories to tell. I would not change one bit. It was even funny to see people running inside buildings, since there was a tornado watch. We even had a good time hiding in the trailer with a bunch of our friends waiting for the downpour to blow over. Yep, even the day we got the hell out of Dodge, it poured. We loaded under the pouring skies and quietly returned home.

— Jose De Miguel
Visit our Web Site http://www.chopperfreak.com

We’re still expecting one additional review of the wet east coast sand. Frank Kaisler’s CD of photography, containing babes to wet new products will be delivered to the headquarters shortly by a big titted undercover. Hang on. –Bandit

Continued On Page 8

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From High Rents, Hard Rains, And Hazardous Residents

photos by Jose of Caribbean Custom Cycles

HOTELS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF BIKERS, GIVE THE BREAKS TO KIDS– One of the reasons why the Bikers are staying in Hotel and Motels out sideof the Daytona Beach area during Bike Week and Biketoberfest. Unless Bikers can get these kind of rates also they should consider stayingin surrounding areas until the prices get reasonable

–ROGUE

BREAKERS GET BREAKS ON ROOM RATES–

By VALERIE WHITNEY
Business Writer
Daytona New Journal

DAYTONA BEACH — For $45 a day, college students heading here next month canstay at the Beachside Ocean Inn.Or they can spend $39.95 and stay at the Surfview Motel provided they book afive-night minimum.

Such rates pale when compared to the $200 per night charged by someproperties during other special events.

They are just some of the special deals available this year during thecity’s “official” Spring Break period, March 10 through March 31.Some tourism officials expect a full house for this year’s Spring Break,despite the uncertainty of the times.

“We’re not really feeling the impact of the economy on Spring Break,” saidEdwards, who also chairs the area’s Spring Break Marketing Committee.

Officials with the Oceans Resorts chain depend on Edward’s firm and othertour operators to fill the rooms at their properties dedicated to Springbreak, namely the Plaza Resort and Spa and the Radisson Resort.

“They fill the hotels up,” said Jon Hunter, a spokesman for the chain, whichowns seven area properties with a combined 1,400 rooms. Students are free tostay at the chain’s other properties but they will have to pay theprevailing open rate.

The rate for students who check into the Silver Sands Inn, 2119 S. AtlanticAve., is $55 per day for as many as four people in a room.

ROGUE’S LASTING THOUGHTS–Well Daytona Bike Week is over, gone, toast, but the talk about it is Hot and Heavy. You received first hand reports on Bikernet. Now we’ll wait and see what comes out in the magazines.

Hopefully people will take a hard look at this year’s event, and pray for lots of changes and adjustments before Biketoberfest. I’ll keep you posted.

The parties and events continue and it’s time to get rolling. My next event will be The South Mississippi Biker Rally www.southmississippibikerally.com April 4-7th in Hattiesburg Mississippi. How about meeting me there and partying with me and having your picture taken? Shit, you may even get on BIKERNET.

Following that is the Heritage Motorcycle Rally www.heritagemotorcyclerally.com April 16-20th in Charleston S.C.

EVENT PROMOTERS: For information contact rogue@bikerrogue.com.

–ROGUE

JOSE RETURNS TO THE ISLANDS WITH HIS FINAL THOUGHTS ON DAYTONA 2003–We all kept our eyes glued to the weather channel expecting better days– no such luck. Gloom was the only ticket available. Meanwhile Geno and Barb showed up with The Horse stuff, and the booth started to take shape.

We managed to escape to Lollipops a couple nights. As always, most of our friends were there. Da’ Pops has become the unofficial meeting place in Daytona. We all have fun there. I left my new chopper with our friends at Custom Works. Some tweaking was needed so, as always, they helped us out big time with tools, lift or anything else was ours for the taking. We highly recommend this shop. Whenever you are in Daytona find these guys. They’ll solve those dreaded mishaps.

The first shot at clear weather, I went over and picked up my bike, then jammed it back to the booth. The suicide clutch was getting weird in traffic, but I only stalled once. Speaking of suicide clutches, our buddy Wicho had just installed his and was riding from Miami with Kevin (aka Lojack), so Daytona was the maiden voyage for the ’52 Pan with suicide.

We have never laughed as hard as that night. Wicho popped the clutch and screeched the tires while black smoke filled the air….lucky that the cops were not around. We almost puked, since minutes before we had managed to “kill” 10 pounds of king crab, 10 pounds of shrimp, four baskets of onion rings and fries (each) and two chicken sandwiches, yes all eight of us. Other folks wondered, if it was an all you can eat joint…The big ass table was not big enough.

Wicho was the burn-out king with his smoke and screeching routine for a good 15 to 20 miles without stalling the bike. I guess you do what you gotta do.

The booth was chocked full of cool ass choppers, old school, bare bones and no frills. More than one person mentioned that it was good to be able to hang out with people who appreciated the old style approach, and not a sea of overpriced billet barges. I was like a kid at Disneyworld. I really enjoy home mechanics and old stuff. Even the newer bikes had “old school” written all over them. The guys from East Coast Bar Hoppers showed up with a kick ass pair of trumps. William from Clayton Manufacturing had a very cool ’67 bobber. A cool-ass, blue Shovel from Alabama filled the attendance card as well as a black Shovel from Pen. There were so many bikes in and out that it will be impossible to name them all. You know who you are, thanks for showing up.

Billy was busy as hell, from the booth to the Camel thing and his new hubless ride (which rocks !). Gene, Suzanne and Carlos commanded the booth in his absence, people crowded the place while getting their Choppers Inc wear, and trying to catch a glimpse of Billy. I’m very glad for his success, he deserves it.

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A BLONDE ON A HORSE–A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she’s had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firmgrip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves, as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Harold, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her, and unplugs the horse just in the nick of time…

–from Bob T.

POLICITAL COMMENT FROM TEXAS–I don’t live in TX, anymore, maybe you don’t either, but you may know someone who does, if so pass this on to them. I have been watching Ron Paul for two years now and find him an honorable man who is willing to stand up for what is right and to tell the truth. Of course ‘they’ will want him out. And his campaign will be tough. Read why.. Kitty

Congressman Too Truthful
by: Congressman Ron Paul – House of Representatives
203 Cannon – Washington D.C. 20515

–from Rev CarlR

CYRIL HUZE GRIP EXTENSION FOR MIRRORS–This clutch side grip extension bolts on all Cyril Huze Spikee grips (3 designs). Then, you can install Huze Dreamliner or Spikee mirror. Chrome.

Cyril HuzeCustom Motorcycles & Parts
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923

BIKERNET CLEAN JOKE ARCHVES–Every once in a while you hear a good CLEAN joke that you feel obligated to pass along, and this is one of them.

Father O’Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington, DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the USSenate for assistance.

The conversation went like this: “Good morning. This is Senator Daschle.How might I help you?”

“And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O’Malley atSt.Brigid’s. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’ yer lads to take care of the matter?”

Senator Daschle, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, “Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a moment.

Father O’Malley then replied: “Aye, that’s certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.

–from MaryAnn Hart

WELDING ADVICE FROM STRAIGHTPIPEZ–John from StraightPipez here. In regard to your welding situation: First you are using the BEST made machine for welding. Miller is the BEST.

The “silicon” you were told to use is actually called Tip Dip. Available at any welding supply store in a spray can or as a paste.(www.ceekay.com ask for Dave Volkman he rides also, tell ’em John Beck sent ya’)

There are also tools or reamers for cleaning this as well. There is also a 10 in 1 pair of pliers that’ll do the trick.

When you do use the spray, try not to cover the actual weld area, just the surrounding area. The spray is made to keep the spatter from sticking, but won’t entirely hinder a weld. I sold Millers and other welding supplies for 12 grueling years! If you have any questions, don’t hesitate.

–John
[mailto:john@straightpipez.com]

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING–Andy Rooney and ROGUE says, “As I grow in age, I value women who are over40 most ofall. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you inthe middle of the night to ask, “Whatare you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If an older womandoesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it.She does something she wants to do. And it’s usually something moreinteresting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, whatshe is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give adamn what you might think about her or what she’s doing. An older womanusually has had her fill of “meaningful relationships” and “commitment.”The last thing she wants in her life is another dopey, clingy, whinydependent lover.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with You atthe opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if youdeserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can getaway with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’slike to be unappreciated. An older woman has the self-assurance tointroduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will oftenignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with otherwomen. An older woman couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friendsbecause she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to anolder woman. They always know. An older woman looks good wearing bright redlipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you getpast a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her youngercounterpart. Her libido’s stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Herexperience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal. She’s lived longenough to know how to please a man in ways her younger cousin could neverdream of.

–from Rogue

BIKERNET OOPS OF THE WEEK–

–from Rigid frame Richard

AVOIDING THEFT FROM BIKERNET– Just heard this on the news here locally. Apparently car thieves have yet again found a way around the system and steal your car or truck without any effort at all.

The car thieves peer through the windshield of your car or truck, write down the VIN number from the label on the dash, go into the local dealership for that car brand and request a duplicate key for it from the VIN number.

Car dealerships make up a duplicate key from the VIN number, collects payment from the ‘customer’ who’s really a would-be car thief for making up the duplicate key. The car thief returns to your car.

They don’t have to break in, don’t have to damage the vehicle or draw no attention to themselves. They insert the key and off they go to their chop shop with your vehicle. Can you believe it?

To avoid this from happening to you, simply put opaque tape (like a strip of electrical tape, duct tape or medical tape) acrossthe VIN label located on the dash board.

You can’t remove the VIN number legally under most state laws, so cover it so that it can’t be viewed through the windshield by a car thief.

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET DENTAL REFERAL– A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that theydecideto go to the girl’s place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirtand then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist.”

The guy,surprised, says “Yes … how did you figure that out?”

The girl says,”Easy… you keep washing your hands.” One thing led to another andtheymake love.

After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a greatdentist.”

The guy, now with a boosted ego, says, “Yes, I sure am a greatdentist… How did you figure that out?”

The girl says, “Easy… Ididn’t feel a thing!”

–from Bob T.

SCREAMIN? EAGLE TEAM PRIMED FOR GAINESVILLE NHRA PRO STOCK OPENER–MILWAUKEE, WIS. – (March 13, 2002) The Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Pro Stock Bike drag racing team spent the off-season working hard on a development program which returned strong initial test results. Those results have given the team the confidence to field a second bike and rider in 2003, effectively doubling the team?s track and testing time.

Andrew Hines will join G. T. Tonglet aboard Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines Pro Stock V-Rod motorcycles. Both riders are 19 years old, with career top speeds over 190 miles per hour. Tonglet already has an NHRA Pro Stock Bike career win to his credit.

Beginning immediately after the final NHRA round of 2002, the team conducted wind tunnel aerodynamic testing and developed several iterations of new engine parts and calibrations, which resulted in substantial performance improvements in testing, according to the team.

?Immediately after the Pomona round, we began a very aggressive round-the-clock testing and development program aimed at getting us ready to achieve our goals of qualifying and becoming competitive. We?ve seen some good results in testing and we think G.T. and Andrew are the right guys to help bring us to the next level,? said Mike Kennedy, director of marketing Harley-Davidson Parts and Accessories. ?We?re also excited to bring aboard two additional sponsors for 2003 in Dunlop and S100. We think this will be another season of great strides for us and look forward to the Gainesville opener.?

THE POND–An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pondin the back, fixed up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe, basketball court, etc.The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t beenthere for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voicesshouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch ofyoung women skinny dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end ofthe pond. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until youleave!”

The old man replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim ormake you get out of the pond naked. I only came to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.

–from Redhorse

IT’S HAPPY HOUR–As I close the door on the shed for the night, I look back at the week and wonder. I look forward to the next week with broad expectations. I’m beginning to focus on publishing my next book. I need to find time everyday to read and think about the completion of the first book in a series about a rider named Chance Hogan. I plan to write a series about this biker who roams from town to town trying to find his way. You can read rough chapters of the first book in HORSE and in the Bikernet Cantina.

We’re a lucky bunch to live a life of screwin’ with bikes and chasing women. We travel once in a while, like Tahiti, work out on a regular basis and write from dawn to dusk. Life couldn’t be much better.

What are you going to do this summer? Laughlin, Sturgis or Milwaukee or both? I think I’ll pour a Jack and ponder Chance Hogan’s future.

Ride Forever–Bandit