Continued From Page 3

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Last week I ended talking a bit about time, and that got me thinking (Oh shit, thinking again !!!). I’m pretty sure a lot of people who read this will relate, others will think that this shit only happened in the old times. How come I don’t have a very chromed out Twinkie and enjoy the ” heavy mileage” of Main street? In other words, what the fuck is wrong with these guys that live in the past, and resist to follow the new ” era”? Sure there’s some things that have improved a lot since the dark ages. Brakes for one (they actually work now), tires that grip and lights that let you see the road, as well as be seen. We live in the era of 6-speeds, the starter button, and hydraulic clutches, I mean, some do, some don’t….

So what is my point? I guess it’s all going back to fun times, to some time far, far away. It could be five years, could be 15, could be 30. We rode amongst friends. Any lame excuse was valid to get on bikes, kick them over and ride around the island or around the block. It made no fucking difference, a couple phone calls and the group would meet, anywhere, anytime. Evo’s and 5-speeds were a brand new thing, way out of our budgets and out of our desires as well.

It was just about a group of friends with their ” old ” bikes, rolling around. No particular place to go, just ride and create some mayhem on the way, while leaving the eternal droppings of ” excess” oil down the black top or the puddle at any bar’s sidewalk (nope, we never parked in the lot, always the sidewalk). Those were times when you carried a tool pouch, plugs, plug tool, points and condenser. It was a must. Amazingly to some riders now, we could use and install all of the above even in the darkest of dark. Those times, when you rode 80 or 90 miles just to go eat something and then just haul ass back (mind you, in Puerto Rico that’s all the way to the other side of the island). Or we’d head out and ride around the city for half an hour, and I mean just ride around, cruising (for lack of a better term), and laughing the whole fucking way. In more simple words, enjoying the shit out of it.

Or during the times we had our bikes in Florida and would ride from Daytona to Tampa, just for the hell of it, at 3 a.m., in the crisp cool of the early morning. We stopped in the most desolate and pitch black places just to smoke a cigarette, sounds simple? It was, and fun as well. Maybe the times that we left for a short ride and ended up doing the 250 mile lap around the island, fourth gear screaming for a break. Those old Pans and Shovels putted along, even on one cylinder.

I have noticed that in much of what I share with you guys there is a strong base in what I’m talking about. The way it was, and to some still is. Your buddy would get gas in an empty beer bottle if he ran out. Your friend would grab the spare plugs in your tool pouch, if someone was too fucked to kick his bike you kicked it. If someone bought the latest ” live to ride ride to live” badges, you ripped them off his bike. Let’s not even start on the police siren stories, they were still, kinda illegal. We created so much chaos with those. Ah, the good ol’ times.

Like everything, times change, schedules and shops. We’re now building high end choppers. Events and all the stuff that involves being part of this industry has changed, while other guys grow up and have to attend to their own kind of burdens. You know, real jobs, wives and such deals. But wait, there’s hope and there’s always stuff that does not go away. Like most things in this life, the fun ones. I mean, they disappear from our schedules or get replaced by others. Not in this case, and this is certainly not the sad end of the story. Little by little all my friends have managed to keep, or even re purchase their old bikes. Sure, now they are parked next to the latest neo-chopper or maybe a Heritage. They have been re-rattled and new white walls replaced the cracked ones. Once more we are taking the time to meet at least once a week and ride a bit. The fun is coming back to this thing we call a lifestyle.

I would not change it for the world. Hell, now we don’t have to run the red light (without wanting to), since they actually Stop.

In line with what I said above, and some stuff I have been promising for ages, here’s some photos of the latest projects. It seems like we build some newer choppers and then some old school stuff. Right now we are heavily into the old stuff. Most of these bikes are getting ready to roll to the Horse Smoke Out, so there’s a lot of work ahead. While some are ready, some are not, and some like my ’60 are being rebuilt (once fucking more), just for the hell of it. Enjoy the photos !

And now to the news…..

We want to wish Jesse a prompt recoup, (yes THAT Jesse) from his shoulder surgery, I’ve seen some of his cool projects and can’t wait to get the go ahead and post them here.

We’ve got news that our own T Bear has been spending some time at Gasoline Alley, taking a look at what Indian Larry is building for the Discovery Channel Biker Build off 3. I know what it is, but I won’t let the cat out of the bag. I know T Bear has a gag order… I wonder what Paul Yaffe is up to in Phoenix ???

Speaking of T Bear, that report (by Bandit) from Tahiti rocked! I hope I can join the next trip in November. I wanted to go this time, but knowing that Bandit was going to hit on all the Tahitian wahines (you know, and tell them stories about his King) I decided to stay away and have a clear slate when I visit. I’ve heard it’s no fun going on vacation with your dad.

I guess we are all waiting on news from the Laughlin front. The over policed scene must have been a burden to many. But that’s what you gotta do so the big spenders, aka Rubbies, feel safe pretending to be bad asses.

Oh well, I’m outta here. gotta go mount that rear white wall on and secure my new seat from PDQ in the chop/bob. The super B with Goodson air cleaner is looking bad ass and I found an Imperial (whatever that is) Pan primary cover that I’m polishing back to life. Have a good week, and week end. Feliz cinco de mayo to our Mexican brothers !

–Jose, Old Skool Bikernet reporter

MOTORCYCLE STOLEN IN LODI, OHIO–We lost our ’96 RoadKing 4-27-03. Taken without a trace Sunday morning between 4:30am and 6:30am. WE feel raped. It’s like losing a loved one.

The insurance co. says we have to wait at least a month to begin anything? We want a bike now. Life sucks sometimes.

–Anne Cavano & John Emmerich
Acemmerichunl1@aol.com

ANOTHER SWAP MEET REMINDER–Just another reminder of the swap meet in Waco this Sunday. Looks like a good chance of rain this weekend, but this show is INSIDE at the Heart of Texas Fairgrounds.

Admission :$8 for Adults
$5 for Kids
Free for under 5
Show Hours 11am-5pm
Vendor Set-up 8am-11am

From I-35 Exit on Valley Mills – Go WEST ON VALLEY MILLSto Bosque Blvd. and take a right. Fairgrounds are approx one mile down on the left.

For More Information Call: 254-687-9066or visit: www.texasscooter.com

Also remember to mark your calendar for theDALLAS CHAMPIONSHIPS May 18

BIKERNET MARRIAGE ADVICE–Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to openhis eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and aglass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing infront of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room andsees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So’s the rest ofthe house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, “Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast andthe morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks,”Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious.Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a blackeye when you stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Marty asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, andbreakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when shetried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’mmarried!”

–from Redhorse

100TH ANNIVERSARY PARADE ENTRY DEADLINE OF MAY 1, 2003 APPROACHES–Don’t miss your chance to join the 100th Anniversary Parade. Get your tickets by May 1st for the 100th Anniversary Celebration in Milwaukee and you’ll be entered into a random drawing to ride in the parade.

Tickets on sale for the 100th Anniversary Celebration in Milwaukee.Join the 100th Anniversary Celebration August 28-30, 2003 in Milwaukee, Wis. Ticket packages are on sale now! Get all the details on the activities featured during this once in a lifetime event.

Collector’s Edition Mobile Phone By Motorola Now Available for a Limited Time.Don’t miss your chance to own the ultimate conversation piece. A must for every enthusiast, the Harley-Davidson? 100th Anniversary Edition Mobile Phone by Motorola brings together the classic heritage of Harley-Davidson with the forward-thinking technology of Motorola.Get more details on how you can purchase the Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary Collector’s Edition Mobile phone from a participating Harley-Davidson dealer or by visiting motorola.com today. Limited time offer.

15 YEARS FOR DEER HUNTING–Judge admits he had ‘great difficulty’ imposing mandatory sentence.Jack Altsman will spend a mandatory 15 years in federal prisonbecause he hunted deer on his own property, reports the AssociatedPress.

The Beaver Falls, Pa., man was caught on the horns of amandatory-sentencing statute requiring a minimum 15 yearsimprisonment for convicted felons found in possession of a firearm.Altsman, 43, has had two burglary convictions.

However, according to sentencing guidelines of the Armed CareerCriminal Act, the 15-year sentence was mandatory. McVerry could havesentenced Altsman to 19 years.?

Custom Chrome ? and Chrome Specialties ??have joined forces to bring you the most comprehensive product offering in the Harley-Davidson ? aftermarket! At over 1,400 pages and over 25,000 part numbers, the Custom Chrome 2003 Catalog features everything from nuts & bolts to HR3 bike kits, and sets the NEW industry standard. ?

?ONLY $9.95 + 6.95 Shipping

Once you find the part you need, go into Chrome Specialties building in the Bikernet Gulch (at the bottom of the page), plug in the part number and order online for the fastest delivery! It’s that simple.?

BIKERNET MEDICAL STUDY–Should children witness childbirth?

Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again.”

NEWS DEADLINE APPROACHES–Suppose this is my day to bitch. I’ve been trying to bring you as much information on the 100th anniversary of Harley-Davidson, but can’t seem to get cooperation from the factory. Kate from their PR agency tried to assist. I was going to devote a special section of the site to ride-in routes, agendas, lodging, etc. I’ve been told to go to the media site or the Harley-Davidson web site. Unfortunately, I can’t pick up all I need from the H-D web site and the media site is severely lacking data and easy-to-use images. So, I suppose I’m stuck. Just trying to help. The best way for you to get information is to head over to the Harley-Davidson website. They have complete information. We’ll publish sporatic releases when we receive them.

Watch the site for new material. I’m about to wrap a Shrunken FXR tech and a new fuel injection tuning/timing and fuel delivery system was just launched by an old friend, Allen Alvarez, in Florida. An extremely interesting report that covers many of the existing systems will be launched in the next couple of days.

Seems our esteemed, tireless Digital Gangster and road- weary web master was lampooned in Laughlin and is missing in action. We have an APB out for the dizzy-eyed bastard. Report in goddamnit.

–Bandit

Continued From Page 2

NEW TWIN TECH FUEL INJECTION TUNING KIT– In the TCFI Kit the customer gets everything he needs to install thesystem. It includes the NUT fo the O2 Sensor, O2 sensor, TCFI ECU, Softwareand the PC Link and the WEGO with all the hardware to install the system.

The nice thing about the system compared to the rest you don’tneed a dyno to tune it. You get on the bike and ride it and it tunes itself.

If you compare pricing to the Powercommander 3 which retails for about $350plus pay $200 for dyno time plus labor to install it. Then if you make anychanges you have to back and put it on the dyno to adjust for the changes.

The difference between TCFI andthe DFO and Powercommander is we are taking the system from a speed densityto a Alpha/N closed loop. The problem with speed density is when you get into high lift cams thesystem can’t handle it. Our system works like most of the formula 1 racecars. If an engine builder is using a certain combination all the time he canthen save the program after he dials it in using the O2 sensor and then withour PC Link he can upload that program into TCFI

A chart comparing single to dual fire ignitions. Watch for the TCFI tech to be launched on Bikernet in the next couple of days.

Contact:
Allen Alvarez
Sales Manager
386-304-0700
allen@daytona-twintec.com

CRUISING RIDER MAGAZINE TO CARRY RARE PANHEAD EDITORIAL–I wrote a column for Cruising Rider last week that involves a contraption I built for my dual-carb, ’48 Panhead. I’m not sure this article makes sense to me, but here’s what the esteemed editor had to say. Let me know what you think when to see a copy in about four months:

“Good column,” Josh Placa said, “Mr. Bandit, although my melon started to twist trying to keep upwith the various permutations of your cobbed carb project. My only surpriseis that a genius such as your esteemed self didn’t anticipate all thisbefore you even started.

So, how does the thing run? Dual 2003 Mikunis metering fuel to a ’48 Pandefinitely bridges the tech gap of more than a half century. Please excusemy ignorance here, but what is the advantage of such a set-up other than itlooking cool and being a bear to hook up? BYW, I assume ID stands for InsideDiameter and OD for Outside Diameter? Or does it mean Overdose of gas fumes.”

Also, how can you expand the ID without expanding OD? Isn’t it really thesame?”

I tried to answer his questions and explain. I suppose his jumbled quiz points out just a few problems with the rambling article. If only I can find that Irish Whiskey.–Bandit

BIKERNET ACCIDENT ADVICE–Two bikers are riding side by side down a county road. One of them has the zipper on his jacket break, and the flapping in the wind is driving him crazy. So he pulls over and decides to don the jacket backwards, at least til they get home. It works well enough, if a bit uncomfortable.

A little while later both guys wipe out in a turn when they don’t see a patch of loose gravel. They are lying inert in a field, their bikes nearby, when a farmer happens upon them. He immediately calls 911.

“You gotta send an ambulance!” he yells into the phone. “These two boys are twisted up pretty bad.”

“Are they still breathing?” asks the operator.

“Well the one was, until I turned his head back around the right way….”

–from Chris T.

Cyril Huze Spikelights–These spikelights are provided in 3 designs & 3 sized: Mini, Hardcore or Visor style. They are offered in 2-function bulb or 2-function L.E.D.. L.E.D’s are brighter than bulb, have no filaments, are not susceptible to failure due to vibrations, and have a 100,000 continuous hour life span. Choice of lens: red, amber, blue & clear. All lights are high gloss polishing billet aluminum. Wiring is included.

Cyril Huze CustomMotorcycles & Parts
www.cyrilhuze.com
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923

PROFESSOR NUTTBOY ON TULLAMORE DEW– It’s an illusive thing, the dew, it be. Many a tale is told ’bout sippin such 12-year nectar ‘neath the risin’ moon on a foggy bog. But then them tales be in yer head, ya blatherin’ idjit. It’s as dear as me old mammy’s heart, as rare as a nun’s fart, and as welcome as the charms of a comely, young tart. You find it, me young bucko and I’ll gladly share a dram or two.

–A thirsty Ladd

BIKERNET SEXUAL SCHOOL–She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.

He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?”

The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”

–from Ray R.

THE BIKERNET MOST INTERESTING EXHAUST SYSTEM OF THE WEEK AWARD GOES TO HACKASAW–I may run them into a collector and out under the seat,” Hackasaw said recently. “Some 55 hours in them so far.All root passes have been made and some of the fill passes are done.Still have to make tabs and such as well as heat shielding.”

Later…….. I can’t wait until this bike gets it’s hand hammered alloy tank fitted…….. HELL NO it won’t be “period correct” or anything conventional”

FRANCE FOUND GUILTY–The London Guardian found documents showingParis fed intelligence to Baghdad before the war.Iraq got diplomatic secrets and military guidancefrom France. Who else could have taught the Iraqis how to lose their entire country in two weeks?

–from Bob T.

BIKERNET FREE CONTEST WINNERS–
UJJWAL DEY
MUMBAI, MAHARASHTRA, INDIA.
Suggestion: CRUISER BIKES SHOULD COME WITH ADDICTION WARNINGS.

DAVE MULHOLLAND
CANYON LAKE, TX
Wanted: A COUPLA TOPLESS HARDBODIES AND A CASE OF BEER. OR IF YOU CAN’T MANAGE THAT, THEN HOW ABOUT A T-SHIRT?

Dave Mulholland & Ujjwal Dey, if you?re reading this I need you to send me an email at sinwu@bikernet.com.

Congrats!

BIKERNET ACCIDENT REPORT CORRECTIONS–Damit Bandit, you published NHTSA’s lie in Thursdays news again. Assoon as they get the whole world convinced that “TRAFFIC SAFETYOFFICIALS SEE SHARP RISE IN MOTORCYCLE FATALITIES” they will startdumping a bunch of “safety” laws on our asses. If you’re going topublish it can’t you at least set the record straight? They are using bogus data for “vehicle miles traveled (VMT)” to come up with thislie.

How can we have over a million more motorcycles on the road in2001 thSn we did in 1998 and travel a billion fewer miles? NHTSA saysthe average rider traveled 1,943 miles in 2001. Our recent Internetsurvey showed that only 7% of motorcyclist traveled under 2,500 milesand 74% travel more than 5000 miles per year. 26% said they travelmore that 10,000 miles per year.

There is not any increase inmotorcycle fatalities, it’s another NHTSA lie! The total number ofinjuries have actually lowered. The percentage of injured that die hasremained the same. The number of fatalities track with the number ofregistered motorcycles with a consistently widening gap since 1986. Iwill again attach the charts I compiled from NHTSA’s Traffic SafetyFacts Report dated December 2002.

FTW,
–Stroker

Continued On Page 4

This is only the second Flowbench I have built. The first one was modeled after a commercial one but was under powered. I could barely get 8″ w.c. test pressure on intake testing.

I have been working on this thing for quite some time now. This second design is not of the Laminar Flow type benches like Jerry Branch or Don Tilley use. This design is more like the larger comercial Flowbenches most commonly used by alot of cylinder head porter’s nowdays.

This new bench was made by using some old plans from a old car magazine from the early 90’s.

My compadre, Tone from Green Bay, Wisconsin, knowing that I like Science Project’s, turned me onto this stuff. I owe all my inspiration for this madness to Dr. George Fishbach!! Besides it’s winter and what the fuck else is there to do when it’s too cold to ride.

This new bench will have the potential of as much as 1600 CFM @ 28″ w.c. I’m starting out with a 400 CFM @ 28″ w.c. capability. This is mainly because due to the cost of the vacuum motors. You really only need 300 to 600 CFM to do cylinder heads. 1200 to 1600 CFM comes into play when you’re performing serious intake/carb/EFI throttle body testing.

Another reason I’m building this is I can’t afford a commercial one which can cost thousands of Dead Presidents. In building one myself, the dough I save will allow me to hook up a cool computer and add on stuff for the bench from Audie Technology www.audietech.com. They sell high- tech, time-saving computer gizmo’s for flow benches.

The Flowbench with 400 CFM capacity can be built for under $500.00 US. The Flowbench cabinet is made in two section’s top and bottom. It’s dimensions are 27 x 38 x 40 inches for the bottom cabinet. The top part with the lighting and where the manometers are located is 18 x 38 x 40 inches. I designed it in two sections for portablity and ease of construction. The 3/4-inch particle board is way heavy.

The cabinet was built using a Skil saw, Roto Zip drywall tool, Black and Decker workmate, battery powered drill and various wood working hand tools. You also need to have access to a lathe and milling machine. They are useful for manufacturing the metal parts that will be used inside the bench.

These initial photos and text were kinda of a update progress report showing where I’m at with all of this. So far this winter the Flowbench project is moving along nicely, mainly because of a lack of any kind of a fucking “Dead Line”. When you have a deadline on a project, no matter what it is, you are doin you wind hurrying some aspect of the thought/building process. Which means it can turn into a “Cluster Fuck”!

This flow bench is being developed by a master Harley-Davidson mechanic from Charlotte, North Carolina Harley-Davidson. It’s based on professionally manufactured units, but Pablo is adding additional tooling to improve the ability for this unit to test heads. Once the unit is complete we will see top ends studied. We’ll begin to understand how headwork is critical to performance.–Bandit

This flick shows the inside of the lower plenum with top plenum partition removed. This looks inside from the top of the main lower cabinet that houses all the vacuum motors below this bottom plenum.

The photo above shows inside the cabinet from the back side. This is showing the back of the lower plenum and also the mounting of the relay switches that fire up the vacuum motors.

This shot depicts one of the air valves, in it’s seat, partially open.

Here are the switches, with the bezel in place, on the exhaust side air valve bushing.

This is the left side intake door shown open. The door was made out of .060 thick aluminum. Door opening is 8 1/2 x 11 inches.

Here’s the air opening’s of the vacuum motors mounted in center divider of the lower cabinet. The four motors are mounted in the center. The other holes are drilled but blocked off with aluminum plate for additional motor capacity, 12 total.

The last shot shows how I mounted the four motor’s on the center partition wall. The original plans had the motors glued to the partition. I wasn’t comfortable with that assembly, so I came up with (garage engineering) brackets that allow me to service the motors if need be. Also they won’t fall off during operation. The motors are fairly heavy. Gluing just seemed like B.S. to me. I know that some commercial flow benches glue their motors in place. Cheap bastards!!

–Pablo

TAHITI RUN 2003 – MONSTER MARINE

Continued From Page 3

by Crazy Horse

Photos by Crazy Horse & Layla

The last full day of the infamous Tahiti Run was supposed to be where we all just lazed around the grass huts. But no, not Bandit, the big bastard just can’t keep still. He had brought this nasty long knife from Cali and he wasbound and determined to do something with it. So he sent Layla out withinstructions to find wood worthy of boat building or don’t come back. She made the biggest sad eyes she could, and let me tell you, she can make sad eyes that melt the heart of most any man. But not Bandit. He don’t give in.Not even when she wanted a Margarita at the end of the previous evening. ” I guess I’m not getting a Margarita,” the great granddaughter of Popeye pouted as she walked down the dock to our huts. Bandit did his best John Wayneimitation and kept on walkin’.

Me? I’m married to a guy who would have bought her 10 Margaritas. So I was goofin off, sleeping and swimming and doing whatever I wanted to. Then the phone rang. ” Hey you!” Came the gruff voice of reality over the phone. “Get off your duff and get over here. We need some expert help on something.Bring that bike-building hubby too. There’s serious stuff going on.”We hustled over to Hut #116. Layla met us at the door and led us to theporch where Bandit was sitting in a chair surrounded by wood shavings,holding an amazingly well carved outrigger canoe model.

” The natives said we were fools to try it, they said no one has ever built one!!” I didn’t bother to tell him that most folks were too busy napping or eating or drinking Mai Tais, to do anything industrious. ” We had to do it just to prove them wrong!!!!” He thundered.

The challenge, build a boat using only found materials and tools that we had packed in our bags which consisted of a knife, needles, thread, pen, fingernail polish, scissors, and several bottles of white wine.Layla had found 4 pieces of wood and a bit of cloth. She used her sewing kit to fashion lines to hold the mast and boom in place. We then used needles to rig it together.

She had even found a Roger Rabbit figure in the parking lot of the store. Roger would captain the boat.

Now it needed a gel coat to keep it sea worthy. I was sent home to Hut #109 to paint a purple gel coat followed by a set of flames that ran the 16″ length of the boat. Big Charlie the main man at Sofitel’s Ia Ora Resort let us borrow his son’s fishing pole as a safety line.

Bandit launched the boat and off it went. It was doing great, then disaster struck. The wind had caught the sail and the mast had not held up the wet sail. We pulled it back in and worked on the problem over a bottle of white wine. The mast was reattached and corks from the wine bottles were attached to the outrigger to aid in buoyancy. Layla snidely reminded Bandit that she had recommended the corks be used before. He did not seem amused.Bandit now launched the boat and it looked to be very successful.

Out over the water it went into the sunset as we watched through binoculars. Then suddenly, it disappeared! The current downstream of the huts is very strong, so strong you can just about swim in place. Bandit and I jumped into the water and swam off to save Roger. We were both frantically searching when Layla hollered that she had pulled the boat to safety with the fishing line.Some floating seaweed had caught it and dragged it down.Now Bandit and I had to make the swim back to the huts. As darkness closed in, I finally climbed out of the water to a waiting bottle of chilled champagne. The first episode of Monster Marina had drawn to a close. We were happy, life was good, and Bandit was even willing to buy Layla a Margarita.

Join us for our next installment of Monster Marina. Anyone can participate!Just come along on our next Tahiti trip in Nov.Unlike the big TV show, there were no fancy toolboxes full of tools given out, nor were fits thrown, the only reward was sitting on the porch of a grass hut watching the thunderstorms play out over the water and knowing that someplace there was a world full of noise, CNN, alarm clocks, traffic jams and road rage. And that was 4200 miles away from here. Not a hell of alot mattered to us other than watching the storms and polishing off anotherbottle of wine.

Thanks,
JoAnn
Crazy Horse Painting

Continued From Page 2

The shrubbery is more lush and green than anywhere in the states. The radiant colors of the Temple flowers would inspire any custom painter. The city of Papeete is wild with a strong European flair. It’s right on the harbor. The main street has 100 year old commercial buildings on one side and only a broad sidewalk on the other separates it from the water. Yachts back up to the concrete abutment and moor. You can step off the stern of your ketch and walk across the street to the bank or coffee shop.

The third day we jumped in Kiki’s van and headed toward the catamaran ferry boat that hauls ass to Moorea. The comfortable ship’s seating kicked ass as it flew over the surf at 30 knots for the half hour jaunt to the clover leaf island of Moorea. Another van snatched us and packed us off to the Sofitel Ia Ora Hotel on the coast, only three miles from the ferry port.

This hotel was made up of a myriad of Palapas (or huts) some set on steel pillars over the water of which we were graced. Additional Palapas were set in gardens in the grassy property or overlooking the beach. One of the myriads of startling aspects of this journey was the bountiful breakfasts and fruit available from Pomegranate, passion fruit, oranges, limes, mango, and grapefruit like curvy Layla had never seen before. Guava, Polynesian vanilla, avocado to Papaya and pineapple like you’ve never encountered lay before us. Incredibly lush fruit and rich jams.

That night we attended a Polynesian banquet at the hotel with a traditional dancing show, enhanced with the native colors of the Tiare Tarona group costumes and the beauty of the dancing Vahines (Polynesian women). It was the perfect invitation to the rest of the week. Another night we ate at a restaurant on Cook’s Bay and watched the waiters feed the broad Eagle Ray’s swimming in a foot of clear water at the edge of the dining room. The Rays glide along the undisturbed sand as if giant underwater sails.

For days we made love to the sound of the Pacific ocean, snorkeled for hours along the coast, lounged on our patio and partied with KiKi and his wife Lynn, when they rode over on his flamed Softail, via ferry. One day we drove around the island, checked the local arts and crafts, hauled ass to the a ridge near the top of one of the volcanic mountains covered in palm ferns and checked ancient monuments to the natives, built long before the French brought European disease that wiped out 75 percent of the population.

From the majestic crest, called the Belevedere look-out, we looked directly down on the two bays, Cook’s Bay and the Bay of Opunohu. Thick stratus clouds drifted around and past the peaks like mystic ghost ships.

One afternoon, Tbear, Maggie, Layla and I were swept into a school bus and taken to two educational facilities. We ate lunch with the older bunch and spoke to the Tahitian chef who cooks 50 meals a day for both schools and the staff. She spoke fluent English and helped explain the programs. Along with schooling, the kids earn their keep making baskets, weaving black pearls into necklaces and polishing oyster shells for sale as gifts.

During our outrigger testing day, I discovered that JoAnn Bortels had a vast art background that included fighting her way into Parson Art Center in New York. “Two days before my interview, my dad’s garage caught fire. It was smoking and when I opened the side door it exploded. Screaming for help, I tried to crawl in on my belly thinking my dad was inside. All my paintings burned up and my dad was having lunch in town with a friend.” She threw a sketch book into a makeshift folder with one rushed painting she and was still accepted. She’s been approached by Segal Fine art to become a licensed Harley artist and has painted custom bikes for some of the best in the business including Cyril Huze. When she started to flame our outrigger she mentioned custom painting boats, “I love painting boats. They are much more manageable than bikes.” She’s loves the industry and her craft but has a tough edge. I suppose that a small, petite woman who has run her own business for many years would need to be strong to survive, “A builder pulled a gun on me once,” she said. I turned my back and walked out the door. If he had cocked it I would’ve dove.”

One of the best aspects of travel is the people you meet and this trip was no different. Stephano, the New York cop was on the tarmac preparing to leave the airport, when the second plane hit the twin towers. “We were headed out of town to chase down another fugitive,” Steph said. “We jammed back to the station, changed into our uniforms and went downtown. “Everything was so hot. Jet fuel was everywhere and my boots kept melting,” Stephano said. For days he worked on bucket brigades. “We wore masks because we were breathing flesh, blood and asbestos constantly. Some of the guys are getting sick now.” They hired an earthquake expert from California to guide them through the rubble. “We found over 30,000 body parts during the search and clean-up,” Stephano said. A side note to his story included one of the massive shredders suppied by John Gotti, was used during the 9/11 effort, free.

It’s terrific, as Stephano’s stories attest, to be able to spend time with new friends and listen to their stories. I had never met JoAnn’s husband before, but discovered a little known master builder who worked with Eddie Trotta for years. Jimmy was quiet and reserved, but you could sense his love for building custom bikes. The partnership between him and JoAnn will become a well known team in the future. He currently works for Carolina Harley-Davidson, which is one of the five largest H-D dealers in the US and one of two H-D dealers with their own fab shop. Yet together J and J build a couple of bikes a year in their own Waxhaw Creek facility.

The days swept past like a dream we hoped would never end. We swam with fish so radiant that I’m sure Crazy Horse will meld their colors and graphic shapes into paint jobs for years to come. I wish I could describe the radiant Fire fish, White Band Trigger Fish, Reefcrest Parrotfish, Emperor Angefin and so many fluorescent Angel fish there were too many to mention. They moved quickly and illusively yet unafraid of humans. They glided as if the ultimate custom motorcycle lost in a crowd. We caught a furtive glimpse from time to time but were never able to visually capture their glowing essence.

As we departed the islands, it became apparent that this had been a dream come true for many of the gang. It was a wonderful benefit success for the Kiki, his club and handicapped kids of the Tahitian Islands. The next benefit takes place in November and it may be the date for the first annual Run To Tahiti. If interested contact TBear at, tbear@mhcable.com. He’ll keep us posted as the Run Develops.

–Bandit

Don’t stop here. Read about the first Monster Marina on the following page.

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Seems since 9/11, all law enforcement agencies from local cops to the FBI, CIA, DEA and homeland security are connected. He’s been hauling in guys for murders committed 50 years ago. I followed him, to allow him time and the space to adjust to riding again.

As we entered a round-about on the edge of Papeete, I became aware that I had forgotten to turn on my petcock. I pulled to the side, adjusted the petcock and lost the pack. Attempting to catch the crew, we took on one simple philosophy; kept the ocean on our left. After a couple of wrong turns and moves we inadvertently turned left onto the coastal highway and the only road that circumnavigated the entire island on the winding coast. Whatta ride.

Although the island is reasonably small, 402 square miles (1/10th the size of the big Island in Hawaii). The population for all the major islands is 220,000 while 150,000 reside in only Tahiti, and most of them in the Papeete area. As soon as we turned left the population of the French territory was left behind. We rode for miles and miles past groves of coconut palms, banana trees and lush vegetation on the right and coral beaches on the left over looking two million square miles of French Polynesia. It was a ride through paradise, no traffic, smooth winding roads and unlimited coves, bays and pristine beached to investigate.

The Island has a brief peninsula connecting the main body, Tahiti Nui, to a much smaller mountain, but the 71 mile paved road doesn’t venture onto the smaller berg, Tahiti Iti, but cuts across the natural land bridge and back to the opposite side of the island past vast shallow turquoise bays. Soon we were heading back into Papeete and the sprawling Sofitel facility. It was a comfortable three hour ride until we reached the myriad of round-abouts and off ramps leading into the interior of the island, the international airport and the outskirts of Papeete. The asphalt snake dipped and weaved as I rolled the dice in hopes that my luck would carry me through the correct turns and back to the Hotel. We made it in time for Happy Hour, a sensuous swim in the warm Pacific, some sun along the beach and a shower before the banquet kicked off. From the beach we could see the island of Moorea only 10.5 miles from the Tahiti coast by Ferry or plane.

It was during the 16 and 17 centuries that Spanish and Dutch explorers first laid eyes on these islands of mystical beauty. It was an Englishman, Samuel Wallis who, in 1767, stumbled across Tahiti and christened it King George’s island. A year later, unaware of Wallis’ discovery, Louis Antoine de Bougainvillea, claimed the island of Tahiti for France.

In 1768, British military explorer James Cook embarked on the first of three voyages to Tahiti. It was the infamous mutiny on the HMS Bounty in 1789 that ended Polynesia’s first period of contact with Europeans.

France returned in 1841 to claim Tahiti as its protectorate. During this period, Tahiti was ruled by the Pomare dynasty who had the support of first the English, then the French. The Pomare dynasty continued to reign until 1880, when King Pomare V surrendered his kingdom to France.

Today the majority of the population speak French and topless vacationing French women adorn the beaches. French Polynesia includes 130 islands and atolls which are divided among five archipelagos: The Society Islands, including the Windward Islands of Tahiti, Moorea, and the leeward Islands of Huahine, Raiatea, Tahaa, Maupiti and Bora Bora. The Tuamotu, which contains mostly atolls including spectacular Rangiroa. The Gambler Islands to the Southeast. The Australs islands to the South and finally the Marquises Islands to the Northeast. There’s no end to the islands to explore.

One of the immediate romantic aspects of these unencumbered islands is the basic architectural openness. Upon departing the plane we discovered tall angular roofs over lobbies with no doors below, just broad open portals. There is no need for thick glass enclosures and deep wooden doors. The weather is always balmy. When it rains is does so in robust showers that dry up and float away as fast as they arrive. The hotel had the same open lobby with comfortable rattan furniture and large sprawling roofs covered with palm leaves.

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While Billy Lane and Dave Perewitz blasted across the Bayou towards Rick Fairless’ Strokers Warehouse and the Dallas ER show to be captured by the Discovery Channel cameras, we ditched the media blitz for a more humanitarian effort south of the Equator. The first dry-run Tahiti Benefit to support the handicapped kids of the Tahitian Islands. But why? Have you ever ridden a motorcycle through paradise? It was the chance of a lifetime.

That’s where an upstate New York biker, TBear (also a Bikernet contributor) and his lovely wife Maggie, came into play. They vacationed in Tahiti and fell in love with the islands. TBear met the president, Kiki, of the Tahiti Harley-Riders Club. The two have become brothers, and Tahiti his second home.

Sure, it’s a whack notion to create a run to the middle of the Pacific Ocean between Chili and New Zealand. You can’t haul motorcycles there without major expenditures, but if you could the ride to circumnavigate the largest island, Tahiti, its 3.5 hours of gorgeous black volcanic sand beaches, tropical jungles and rural villages. The next island over by ferry with motorcycles, Moorea, the shape of a cloverleaf, is less than one hour around. To say it will be a helluva long run, would be smokin’ herb. On the other hand, if you’ve been in the states riding from run to run, from bike show to jamboree for a decade, you might be looking for something not listed in the HOG members calendar of events.

What if you could fly to a Paradise in the middle of the warm Pacific with 20 other riding couples, builders, master painters and just relax in an intimate setting with Polynesian drinks and crystal clear waters for a week? If Billy Lane comes along or Jose, we’ll have a contest for the fastest jet ski. This trip, we fabricated a model outrigger canoe to test the currents, and Crazy Horse flamed the main hull with fingernail polish. But the other side of this exotic adventure into the South Pacific benefits the handicapped kids of the islands. There’s 40 centers for educating handicapped kids on the islands. Each one is supported 80 percent by the government and 20 percent by private funding. If they need anything new, a playground or library, they must rely on the private sector for funding.

From the meeting with TBear and Kiki came the spirit behind the Tahiti Run, the kids. Kiki’s club supports any needs the kids have. He owns a ship welding facility in the Papeete Port and has three kids of his own. They have 17 members in their club, and if a school needs support, the riders gather families, businessmen, whatever is needed to succeed for the youngsters. There are only 75 Harleys in all of the Tahitian Islands, but there are hundreds of kids who need assistance. One of the major obstacles to helping kids is reaching the parents and making them feel secure in bringing their handicapped child forward for assistance and education.

This particular Run for the Islands was designated a test program for the Charity drive and support for the Harley Riders Banquet. There are two of such banquets a year and this one was designed around a handful of American Bikers coming to party with Kiki and the boys, but this was no ordinary gathering. It was a fully organized and orchestrated banquet destined to seat 600 guests. They overshot their attendance mark by over 200. It was a banquet set on the grass of the Sofitel Hotel adjacent to the beach under sprawling palapas and tents. A feast of Polynesian food was laid out and refreshing drinks adorned with colorful umbrellas and hibiscus flowers brightened out eyes. It was an event of royal native proportions. As for myself, it was the dancing that so intrigued my gaze.

The music was light and a mixture of modern with a native ring to it, like country-rock. The kids and adults alike danced a sort of traditional rumba/samba pressed together like snakes against curvy limbs of a tree. Men are the rigid limbs whereas the women are the flexible snakes that move so tantalizing that I felt my gaze locked on the curve each woman as her waist remained a flowing pillar and her hips swayed so seductively. A hundred young and old couples on the dance floor moving in sensual unison. The ladies wore snug, flowing dresses as if an island Paea dress painter, stroked their shapely bodies with his brush. I ordered another Mai Tai to soothe my nerves. The banquet raised a record breaking $30,000 US for the kids.

The first effort for the kids after our 8-hour flight from Los Angeles on Tahitian Airlines was an immense success. During the day we rode bikes, supplied by Kiki and his brothers, around the island. The American Bikers clan consisted of TBear and Maggie, Stephano and his wife Christine, Crazy Horse and her bike building husband, Jimmy, and myself and the lovely Layla. As the pack pulled away from Kiki’s home I rode in the rear on a Softail Standard since Stephano hadn’t ridden a motorcycle in 22 years. Christine was a childhood friend of Maggie’s and her husband was the only member of the crew not associated with the bike industry. He was a NYPD cop, a member of the fugitive squad and a fascinating guy, who kept us glued to his humorous reports of busts and fugitive hunts.

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HARLEY HISTORY–In 1903, the same year Henry Ford incorporated the Ford Motor Company and the Wright brothers first flew, William Harley and his friends Arthur and Walter Davidson launched the Harley-Davidson Motor Company. They gave their bike a quality engine, so it could prove itself in races, but planned to manufacture it as a transport vehicle.

That same year the merchant, C. H. Lange, sold the first officially distributed Harley-Davidson in Chicago, a city given to “motoracing” and auto-touring. Another of the Davidson brothers, William, joined the company, which soon burst the seams of its first manufacturing center and, by 1906, had to move to larger quarters in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Old shot from Bob T.

From the beginning the Harley-Davidson motorcycle began to set records. In 1908, for example, the Harley achieved a record 188.234 miles per gallon. It captured seven first place finishes in 1910 motorcycle racing, and, by 1912 claimed 200 U.S. distributors. A sturdy Harley-Davidson Sidecar won the first annual Pike’s Peak race in 1916, and another bike claimed first in the 1922 Adelaide to Melbourne South Australia race.

Harley-Davidson Smashes Adelaide to Melbourne Record.
Motorcycle and Bicycle Illustrated
April 13, 1922.
Library of Congress General Collections

By the 1960s “the hog,” as it affectionately came to be called, scored seven consecutive victories at the Daytona 200. During the next decade the Harley took four consecutive wins at the AMA Grand National Championships and broke the world motorcycle record for land speed.

The Harley-Davidson came to be America’s most recognized motorcycle, but it was not the first. Howard Roper developed a coal powered steam-engine motorcycle in 1867 and Gottlieb Daimler, a German, developed a gas-powered motorcycle in 1885, which he attached to a wooden bike. That marked the moment in history when the dual development of a viable gas-powered engine and the modern bicycle collided.

Turn of the nineteenth century inventors who worked with both the engine and the bicycle chose to follow one of three paths. Daimler, for example, went on to develop automobiles, the Wright brothers left their bike shop to fly airplanes, and men like Harley and the Davidsons developed motorcycles. Their business competitors were other new start-up companies such as Excelsior, Indian, Pierce, Merkel, Schickel and Thor.

From the beginning a unique and characteristic sound endeared the Harley-Davidson to its owners. The Harley’s pistons connected to its crankshaft in a way that caused the motor to give two “pops” then a quiet pause as it hummed along the road. Yet around that constant sound, other things evolved and changed: a 45 degree V-twin motor was introduced in 1909, the “Bar and Shield” logo in 1910, and the teardrop-shaped gas tank in the 1920s. In the 1930’s an “eagle” design was placed on those tanks and the famous “Knucklehead” engine was introduced. At a time the Harley became widely used as both a police and a commercial vehicle, the company even manufactured sidecars and sported motorbikes built for two.

During World War I Harley-Davidson manufactured nearly 20,000 motorcycles for the U.S. government. And during World War II virtually all of the Harleys produced went towards the war effort. As nations such as England were forced to give up motorcycle production to favor production of tanks and planes, Harley’s motorcycles were also shipped overseas to U.S. allies.

Following WWII the Harley’s market share, as well as its myth, continued to grow. Its main U.S. competitor, Indian Motorcycle, ceased production in the 1950s. And veteran owners, new bikers, and even movies such as Easy Rider raised the Harley-Davidson to the status of American icon. Glamorous stars pictured with Harleys, from the early Mack Sennett Studio, to Jayne Mansfield, Elvis Presley, and Peter Fonda, certainly enhanced the company’s image.

For the most part, however, Harley-Davidsons, like all motorcycles, are enjoyed by individuals and groups who find biking a wonderful way to get where they are going. Who in on-the-road-America has not seen bikers tooling along the highway whether on a Fall outing, in a parade, making a statement, or raising money for charity? Indeed, the Harley-Davidson company prides itself on the money it has raised for charity during the last quarter century, with the help of its customers and dealers.

–from Rogue

SONS OF LIBERTY RIDERS E-NEWS–Tragic Loss of MRF President Buck Kittredge:It is with great sadness and tremendous loss that the Motorcycle RidersFoundation’s Board of Directors reports the untimely death of MRF Presidentand friend Nathan “Buck” Kittredge. Buck’s life was taken just before 7:00p.m. on Sunday, April 20, 2003 in a single-vehicle motorcycle accident lessthan 10 miles from his home in Wisconsin. The exact cause of the accidentremains unknown. Buck was 56 years old and leaves behind his beloved wifeCarolyn and his two sons Jesse and Travis, as well as a worldwide family ofmotorcyclists’ rights activists with whom he had served for many years.

Tom Wyld, MRF Vice President of Government Relations, echoed the sentimentsof the entire motorcyclists’ rights community upon hearing the tragic news.”We are all numb, grief-stricken and in utter disbelief at this unfathomableloss, and our hearts are one with Carolyn and the rest of the Kittredgefamily. We will carry on, as Buck would have us do, guided by thiswonderful man’s spirit and his unflagging devotion to his family, to hiscause, and to each and every one of us.”

Visitation and a memorial service were held today for Buck on Thursday, April24 at Jones Funeral Home, 107 Franklin Street, Oconto Falls, Wisconsin54154, (920)848-2222. Visitation hours will be from 3:00 to 9:00 p.m. withthe memorial service beginning at 7:00 p.m. There will be an openmicrophone remembrances period immediately following the memorial serviceduring which Buck’s friends and family will be given the opportunity toshare their tributes and memories. In lieu of flowers, the MRF asks thatyou please forward contributions to the Buck Kittredge Memorial Fund, c/oWells Fargo Bank, 225 E. Central Avenue, Oconto Falls, WI 54154.

Since 1966, Buck had ridden his various motorcycles through 49 states fromhis home base in Wisconsin. He first became involved with motorcyclists’rights when he became a life member of the American MotorcyclistAssociation. He was heavily involved with ABATE of Wisconsin starting in1985, served as Executive Director of ABATE of Wisconsin from 1994-2000, andwas well known for his lobbying efforts for motorcyclists’ rights and safetyin Washington DC beginning in 1991.

“Buck and I started in bikers’ rights together almost eighteen years ago,”said Ed Williams, the current Executive Director of ABATE of Wisconsin. “Atthat time, neither of us had any idea how far it would take us. There is noway I can express in words how much Buck will be missed. I promise you, myfriend we will not let you down. We will finish all that you started and wewill continue to fight for our right to ride free.”

Buck began his service on the Motorcycle Riders Foundation Board ofDirectors as Supporting State Motorcyclists’ Rights Organization BoardMember in 1995 when Mark Buckner was MRF President. “The Motorcycle RidersFoundation, and all of biker’s rights, has lost a great leader,” saidBuckner. “Buck was a good friend and a better man. I’ll miss him dearly.Our thoughts and prayers go out to Carolyn and the Kittredge family.”

Buck served two years as Vice President before taking over as MRF Presidentat the Meeting of the Minds in Lansing, Michigan last September. MRF VicePresident Chuc Coulter has stepped in as Interim President as theorganization continues to advance the hard work and dedication of Buck andmany others to preserve the rights and freedoms of street motorcyclistsnationwide.

Later
Hawk
ICQ 34668186
AOL SoLRHawk

THE PEASHOOTER HUNT CONTINUES–About the Peashooter, you couldride one to Sturgis or the 100th. Thought I’d jab you forthinking your too big for everything. The only PeashooterI know of is at Hutchins Harley in Yucca. I don’t think they’dsell it. But who know’s, the economy in the desert is reallybad right now due to the Marines being out from 29 Palms.Hutchins bought it for $10 from a wino years ago when theywere located in L.A.

–CK

GIRLS NIGHT OUT IN IRAQ– (Clockwise from lower left) 1stLt Alison, Capts Heather and Waynetta, andSenior Airman Lyndi [Last names withheld for operational security.], allfrom the 376th Expeditionary Air Refueling Squadron, flew an all-femaleKC-135 Stratotanker air refueling mission over Afghanistan on Jan. 31.

Notice they are all blondes. This should throw a lot of the blonde jokesout the window. This item also counters the thought about women typicallynot working well together. Let this put that one away as well!

In one of her songs, country singer Shania Twain croons about all thethings women do these days-they are judges, politicians, doctors andsoldiers, to name a few. Not mentioned in the song, but occurring morefrequently as the global War on terrorism continues, is something else:female fliers in combat missions over Afghanistan. Early on Jan 31, a KC-135Stratotanker took off from Ganci Air Base, Kyrgyzstan, carrying more than180,000 pounds of fuel and an all-female crew — both pilots, a navigatorand a boom operator. The event marked the first all-female crew to fly anair refueling Mission into Afghanistan from Ganci.

“We’ve been reallylucky,” said 1st Lt Alison, the navigator on board. “You don’t always deploywith a lot of women. The fact that we have four women on this deployment,and the fact that we make up a crew is amazing.”

The women, including the other pilot, Capt Heather, and the boom operator,Senior Airman Lyndi, are all assigned to the 99th Air Refueling Squadron atRobins Air Force Base, Ga. They have been deployed here since Dec 9. Onceinside the tanker, the women began their pre-flight and take-off duties withan ease borne of plenty of experience and skill. Most of them have deployedbefore, to places like Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Iceland and Thailand. Betweenthe four of them, they total almost 4,000 flying hours in the KC-135. “It’s awesome knowing that I’m having a direct impact on the mission,”said Lyndi on her 17th combat mission over Afghanistan. “The fighterscouldn’t put bombs on target without gas, and I’m the one who gets it tothem,” she said. More than 50,000 combat missions have been flown insupport of Operation Enduring Freedom. In all, Lyndi refueled 10 EuropeanF-16s during the flight, off-loading 63,000 pounds of fuel. “I’maccomplishing something with my Air Force career,” said Alison.

This isespecially true in the case of OEF, an operation that more than 1,800 womensupport, according to the public affairs office at Central Air Forces, theair component of U.S. Central Command. “I’ve always thought the greatestthing I could do with my life was to serve my country and be willing to diefor it — for my family, my neighbors, people I don’t even know,” Waynettasaid. “Now, we’re here supporting troops in Afghanistan who are defendingour freedom and way of life.” Basking in the early morning sunlight, thetanker headed back to Ganci.

As the snow-capped mountains poked out abovethe clouds, the women reflected on the significance of the flight. “All wewanted was to fly together,” said Lyndi. “I’m so excited we got to do it.””We believe in equality,” Waynetta said. “But, the fact of the matter is,we’re still girls and we’re doing something our grandmothers couldn’t do.

–from Bob T.

OOPS! A BLONDE JOKE– A blonde bought a new Lexus, and returned the next day, complaining that theradio didn’t work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. “Watch this!” hesaid,”Nelson!” The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?” “Willie!” he continuedand “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.

She drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say,”Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music, and if she said, “Beatles!”she’d get one of theirs.

One day, another driver ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, butshe swerved in time to avoid him.

“ASSHOLE!” she yelled, The French National Anthem began to play.

–from Bob T.

GUNNY TIDBIT–WEBSTER, N.Y.: American Motorcycle Corporation has signed a letter of intent to purchase Royal Ryder Motorcycle Manufacturing Company, Inc., of Hudson, Florida. Another Harley clone starting up. Hope they make it, but history tells us a different story. I remember Titan and some others who aren’t on the scene now. The EPA, with their ever-tightening noose around the neck of the motorcycle industry, probably had something to do with it too.

MINNEAPOLIS: Norton Motorcycle Company has announced that it has changed its name to the Viper Motorcycle Company, and Viper has released all trademark rights to the Norton brand. Merch Performance Inc, is to supply engines for the new motorcycle. According to their new CEO, “The initial response to our first model, the Viper Diablo Power Cruiser, has greatly exceeded our expectations.” The goal for Viper Motorcycle Company is to be a full-line manufacturer of high-end motorcycles.

We just launched the new Gunny Sack from A.I.M. These are two news tidbits from his report. Check out all the news in the Bikers’ Rights Department of Bikernet.

The Primedia / MotoMaster USA SuperMotard National Championship Series featuring The Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show’s FastDates.com National sponsored by Russ Brown–Los Angeles, CA, March 10th: Two of America leading supermoto race producers, SuperBikers2 and Moto-Master USA have teamed up produce the 2003 Primedia US SuperMotard National Championship Series, an exciting new 8 round series with the Primedia Action Sports Group and its magazines Sport Rider and Dirt Rider as Series title sponsor. With the Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show, the biggest streetbike consumer Show in America, hosting the Championship’s showcase Los Angeles National round in sponsored by motorcycle legal advocate RussBrown.com, with the Show and the Races taking place at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach, CA, the weekend of July 19-20th, 2003.

The SuperMotard National Championship kicked off in March at Phoenix Bike Fest, and it will end with the crowning of champions in 2 different classes in October. Headlining the series will be the Open Supermoto Extreme class featuring the open displacement, big bore thumpers that have made this sport what it is known for today. The equally impressive 450X class will feature a 450cc displacement limit that will showcase the latest machines from many manufacturers. SuperMotard USA, SuperMoto USA, Mile High Motard, and SuperBikers2, LLC will hold regional races to run as support classes in conjunction with national event for their host weekend.

Major National Championship rounds are being showcased at major events including the PhoenixBike Fest on March 28-30th and the Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show weekend on July19-20 to bring supermoto racing to the general public, as well as motorsports enthusiasts of all kinds..

“We are really excited to have the Primedia US SuperMotard National Championship Series joinus this year as just one more exciting feature at The Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show, commented Show producer Jim Gianatsis of Gianatsis Design Associates, also producers of the popular FastDates.com Calendars and Website.

BREAK OUT THE WHISKEY–It’s time to celebrate the completion of the news, a good running motorcycle and a woman I love who attacks me in the middle of the day. The sun is shinning, we have whiskey and we’re not being bombed. Couldn’t be much better.

If you’re heading to Laughlin, I hope the weather is clear, the sun warm on your back, smooth roads and women waiting. What could be better.

Ride Forever, Bandit

Check out Tahiti 2003 – Ride to Paradise Page 1

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TEEBACK TRAILERS IS PROUD– to introduce their innovative motorcycle trailer. This unique design caters to the serious rider, as well as the recreational rider. This lightweight, low cost (only $995.00) unit aggressively addresses the important issues of load capacity, storage and convenience not found in this price range.

It’s fully independent suspension; 1700 lbs GVWR will accommodate every production motorcycle sold today. This unit is backed with the only 5 year, 100,000 mile warranty in the industry. This alone speaks to the quality of the trailer.

Here are just a few of the TeeBack’s features:
Easy Breakdown (only 3 bolts)
Easy lube hubs
Quality steel fenders for the protection of your bike
Complete lighting (brakes and signals)
Interlocking ramp for ease of loading
Fully independent suspension

This internationally patented trailer is proudly built in the USA for riders of all bikes across the globe.

TeeBack Trailers dealer network is rapidly growing. Contact TeeBack Trailers at 1-888-252-5553 to locate the dealer nearest you, or visit the web site at www.teeback.com

LOUISIANA GHOST STORY– This story happened about a month ago in a little town in Louisiana, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s real. Read to the end. This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night passed slowly and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out of the gloom. It slowly crept toward him and stopped. Reflexively, the guy got into the car and closed the door, then realized that there was nobody behind the wheel. The car slowly started moving again. The guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve. The guy started to pray, begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and he would plunge to his death, when just before the curve, a hand appeared thru the window and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend.

Paralyzed with terror, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally, the guy gathered his wits and leaped from the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of tequila, and told everybody about his horrible, supernatural experience. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was apparently sane and not drunk. About half an hour later two guys walked into the same bar. One says to the other, “Look Boudreaux, that’s dat idiot that rode in our car when we was pushin it in the rain.”

— Greg HowlandTailgate from Texas from Chris T.

MISSOURI BIKER DEMAND RETURN OF THEIR PROPERTY–The Jackson County Drug Enforcement Task Force executed two search warrants. The first was at the club house shared by the Galloping Goose MC and El Forastero MC. While no drugs, drug precursors, drug making apparatus or paraphernalia was located, the Task Force assisted by the FBI and ATF confiscated club property including, but not limited to, club pictures, plaques, flags, anything with the club colors or 1% information on it, antique slot machines and the clubs’ minute books.

Another search warrant was executed at the residence of a Galloping Goose club member. While no drugs or drug making apparatus was found, various personal items of the member was confiscated including but not limited to, pictures, club jackets, motorcycle parts and other pictures or clothing containing club colors or 1% information.

The club and members fought for years trying to regain possession of their property. About a year ago, out of frustration, they asked if Missouri A.I.M. attorney Jeff Lang could do anything to help. Jeff filed two lawsuits against the Task Force. One in the name of the two clubs and the other in the name of the member.

“Both suits sounded in Tort and asserted causes of action in Replevin,” explains Jeff in legalese. “Later, after additional discovery, both Petitions were amended to include a count for Conversion, which, in addition to actual damages prayed for punitive damages.”

Early in the litigation, the Task Force returned most of the member’s property.”We were able to serve the Task Force detective who was in charge of executing both search warrants, with a subpoena duces tecum to appear for his deposition. Just prior to the taking of his deposition, the Task Force agreed to return the bulk of property taken from the club house of the Gooses and El Forasteros,” according to attorney Lang.

“We proceeded with the deposition of the detective to determine the reliability of the Confidential Informants who provided information for the search warrants and any other facts the detective relied upon in requesting the search warrant,” Lang said.

“As of yet, we do not have a trial date, but my clients are ecstatic to get their property back. There are still issues to resolve regarding firearms, ammunition and the slot machines that are still being held.”

–from American Motorcycle Club. com and Rogue

illustration by Chris Kalla, his art is for sale in the Gulch.

PABLO AND KING ANSWERS– The rear wheel is always over to the left side of the bike a bit. I think the easiest most painless would be spacing the pulley over using spacers from CCI. I think they have 1/8″ and 1/4″ thick. All you really need is some air between the tire and the belt. Tires can very in width some also. Is there enough clearance between the tire and fender strut/fender?

Say you only need .093 for clearance Clarence, just mill down a 1/8″ spacer. Just make sure your new spacing doesn’t have the belt hitting the frame or some other damn thing. The pulley is about 1 3/4″ wide and the belt about 1 1/2″ wide. When riding the belt kinda goes out a bit and comes back in when decelerating

Milling the caliper and making a new axle spacer will do but is more work.

–Pablo

GEORGE CARLIN POST 9-11 (his wife recently died)–Isn’t it amazing that George Carlin, the gloriously gross and mouthy comedian of the 70’s and 80’s, could write something so very eloquent … and so very appropriate post 9-11. Here is a wonderful message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but wecommunicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent. Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all, mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

–from Rev CarlR

Sobriety test–count da women with a pair of thong panties over one eye.

BIKERNET SOBER LIVING LESSON–I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning.When he reached the top, his weight bent the bladedown to the ground. Then, twisting his thorax withinsectile precision, he grabbed hold of the next blade.In this manner, he traveled across the lawn,covering as much distance vertically as he did horizontally,which amused and delighted me. And then, all at once,I had what is sometimes called an “epiphany”,a moment of heightened awareness in which everything becomes clear.

Yes, hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I suddenly knewwhat I had to do… Quit drinking before noon.

–from Rev CarlR

GOLDAMMER PROJECT BIKE–Their last bike, “Project X” won first place at the Oakland Roadster Show, now Goldammer Cycle Works has two more cool bikes in progress. The “LOWTEK” seen first, followed by “Fuzzy Logic”, which is slated to be finished soon.

Roger was very cool on the phone, and made it clear that although his bikes will win shows, they are built to be ridden. They are located in Kelowna, British Columbia, and everything they do is fabricated in house.

Check the website out for all the latest project information, bike gallery, as well as the G Force front end and chassis line.

Goldammer Cycle Works Ltd.
www.goldammercycle.com
1-250-764-8002

–Chuck Hover

HELP A BROTHER IN NEED–We gotta call from a guy name Lou, asking questions about some dual drag pipes from CCI. Turns out thedamn things are discontinued as are another type called Siamese pipes. If anyone knows of any exhaust mfg. that makes some like the ones below, shoot the brother an email and let him know. Much Gras…brrckl@aol.com Say it’s for Lou.

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BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Here we go again, another week goes by, and I’m still around. I’m guessing it’s been three years now that I have been helping out here in Bikernet, week after week, plus the super acclaimed reports….Wow ! That is a long time, and a lot of e-mails and stuff to say and rant about. Guess what? I’m not changing a bit, I will still say what I want, when I want. I refuse to be one of those stiff ass reporters full of make up like the CNN dudes, I refuse to be unbiased, or tell the story ” like it is”….Nope, no fucking way.

So let’s make something really clear, in case you have not noticed by now, I am not a reporter, writer nor journalist. I have a shop and build bikes, that’s what I do. I write stuff for fun, because sometimes I’m lucky enough to be there and many people are not. I just try to bring stuff into this web site that will make some people laugh, some people wonder if I’m a total flake, or some people get really pissed… But always being me, and no one, absolutefuckin’ no one telling me what to do or how to do it. I try not to offend anyone, but sometimes people reflect their own faults in what I write. That is their problem , not mine. Then again, I have nothing against no one, why should I bother.

At the same time it’s great when people enjoy the reports and the news and express it, via e-mail or at Your Shot. It’s even cooler when we have three or four people attending the same event and we get all the different points of view. No one in this industry can do that. Sometimes by the time you see stuff in magazines it’s old news…..

We are really lucky to be “working” with the ” family” we have here, and our readers are extremely fortunate as well. You have the best of the best in various fields of this industry and then you have me.

It’s a true complete World Wide coverage. It’s fair to say that all the corners are actually covered, and the best part is that this ” family” keeps growing.I don’t know if our readers realize this, but we have people that religiously log in week after week, not only from all over the USA, but Europe, Asia, Australia, South America and the Caribbean. That’s a very amazing accomplishment for a web site, more so for a web site about this life we love….Motorcycles.2.3 million hits a month is an absurd feat……Think about it….that amount of people are reading this as well as you…That is fucking freaky…. In simple math, if I piss off 300 thousand people, I still have 2 million that like what I’m doing, ( and I usually piss off 15 or 20) so the odds are pretty good.

Then again, it’s good to receive feedback. It lets us know that people are actually reading what we write. To tell you the truth, the day that people start telling me to get the hell out of here (let’s say like 50 % of the hits) I will pack my bags and do something else with my limited free time, that is a promise. Or maybe not….I kinda like the fringe benefits…

So I will keep working on this for as long as it’s possible, and sure keep fucking up stuff, which proves we are only human. Maybe saying things that push people thru the roof, but then again, don’t take everything so seriously….I certainly don’t. Enjoy all this for what it is, a venue to express some points, even whacky ones, not the gospel according to Jose….

By the way…. Thanks to all.

So let’s hit the news…… Last week end Viva las Vegas took place, where else but Sin City. Some of our friends were there and claim that it was greaser heaven, cool old rods, chops and people re-living the past eras. Americana at it’s best. We are hoping to get our paws on some cool photos of hot chicks dressed a la Betty Paige and stuff like that, plus the cool cars.

Speaking of cars, The Horse (the most read magazine by Bikernet readers) is coming out with a sister magazine about Old School rods. As soon as we have the complete info I will be posting it here. One thing it promises there won’t be quarter of a million cars, only cool low buck rods. Fuck! I’m even putting my 52 chevy together for the mag.

Laughlin River Run will take place this coming week end. If you remember the stuff that happened last year? We are hoping it’s a safe rally for everyone. I will be expecting the upcoming report. I believe they are expecting Geraldo Rivera, since he has been kicked out of Iraq. You can expect a true story from him….For sure…Yeah right.

By the way, How was your Easter week end? Hope you had fun. We were finishing the trophies for the Run for Breath (since Meanest promised to introduce me to some of her CUTE friends) and finishing the Bob/chops we are taking to the Smoke Out. We were going to play around the British Virgins (the islands, since there are no Brit virgins left but the queen) on our new speed boat, (sponsored by Bandit) but the rain kept falling and we had some work to do. I promise one of this days, I will do a report on island life. Be ready for plenty hot babes in thongs…

I can’t remember of other stuff that went on, so there it is…Have a nice week and play it safe in Nevada…

–Jose, Bikernet (not CNN, FOX, MSNBC) Caribbean report

NEWS FROM WHITEHORSE PRESS —Here’s a quick note to let you know that David Hough’s new book, MOREPROFICIENT MOTORCYCLING, has just been published and is now in stock atWhitehorse Press. Friends and fans of this popular author will definitelywant to add this sequel to their collection.

MORE PROFICIENT MOTORCYCLING: MASTERING THE RIDE, by David Hough, 256 pages,b/w illustrations throughout, item code W-PM2, $24.95http://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.asp?cn=50245&en=en0304a&id=pm2

As many of you know, generations of motorcyclists have grown up with thebenefit of Hough’s wisdom, some owing their lives to advice dispensed in the”Proficient Motorcycling” columns he’s written, first for Road Ridermagazine and then for its successor, Motorcycle Consumer News. Readersreport that they are often amazed at how they have improved their riding andgained increased enjoyment just from studying one idea or gaining a newinsight from a single illustration. Two-time winner of the MotorcycleSafety Foundation’s award for “Excellence in Motorcycle Safety Journalism,”we strongly urge riders at all levels to add David Hough’s complete work totheir knowledge base.

And, a special offer just for Enews customers: Receive a free MedicalInformation Carrier (item code W-INFO) just for the asking when you orderDavid Hough’s newest book, MORE PROFICIENT MOTORCYCLING, online before May1, 2003.

SADDAM WRITES BUSH–After numerous rounds of “We don’t even know if Saddam is still alive”,Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let hisfriend know that he is still in the game.Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

George W. couldn’t figure it out so he typed it in and emailed ColinPowell. Colin and his aids had no clue either so they sent it to theCIA. Noone could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA andthe cclist got longer and longer.

Eventually it arrived at the desk of Dr. Greenspan who looked at it andreplied the next second:”Perhaps the President would wish to look at the messageup-side-down….”

–from Chris T.

SPEED FREAKS BREAK OUT THE BIG STICK FOR THE NASCAR TRIFECTA– Hollywood, CA (April 23, 2003) – SpeedFreaks call in the big guns this week as they host, at the very least, three NASCAR themed events. We say at the very least, cuz The Freaks seem to think they’re a bunch of big time happy boy party planners with a VIP driver guest list that ranges from Dale Jarrett to Ron Hornaday, David Green to Robbie Gordon… well, I be damned, I guess they are!

1) The Freak Nation gathers tonight at the Ontario, California Dave & Buster’s for the legendary SpeedFreaks Freakin’ Pre Race Party (see www.speedfreaks.tv/photos.shtml) for NASCAR’s Winston Cup and Busch series races coming to California Speedway this weekend. Scheduled to be a part of the mix are NASCAR drivers Robbie Gordon, Ron Hornaday, David Green, Brian Vickers, Shane Hmiel and Chad Blount.

2) Thursday afternoon, in conjunction with their Los Angeles radio affiliate KSPN, SpeedFreaks’ Kenny Sargent will slide over to the Ontario Outback Steakhouse. The Sarge will don a bib and host a lunch with 1999 Winston Cup champ Dale Jarrett and a room full of winners from the Freak Nation.

Gettin’ full?

Tres) Then, the Freak Nation faithful will be treated to a Friday night shindig at the ESPN Zone in Anaheim, California as the SpeedFreaks and ‘Cuper – Busch series star Todd Bodine greet the masses. It’s part of the Automobile Club of Southern California’s Salute to the Troops and yet another warm-up for the Auto Club 500 Winston Cup race at California Speedway.

Bonus: Sunday night will be a another ‘large marge’ for the Freaks as they go from NASCAR’s Busch and Winston West winner to Superbike’s Tommy Hayden to the NHRA’s number 2 in Pro Stock points, pilot Greg Anderson…’nuff said… OUT. SpeedFreaks affiliate listing, log on to www.sportsbyline.com/affil.htm.

THE LORD WILL MAKE THE WICKED YOUR STEPPING STONE– There was a little old lady who would come out every morning on thesteps of her front porch, raise her arms to the sky and shout, “Praise the Lord!”

One day an atheist moved into the house next door. Over time, he became irritated at the little old lady. So every morning he would step outonto his front porch and yell after her, “There is no Lord!”

Time passes with the two of them carrying on this way every day. Thenone morning in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted, “Praise the Lord! Lord, I have no food and I am starving. Please provide for me, oh Lord!”

The next morning, she stepped onto her porch and there were two hugebags of groceries sitting there. “Praise the Lord!” she cried out. “He has provided groceries for me!”

The atheist jumped out of the hedges and shouted, “There is no Lord. I bought those groceries!”

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted, “Praise the Lord! He has provided me with groceries and He made the devil pay for them!”

–from Chris T.

New In The Gulch!– Road Weary Films presents “Sturgis ’02: Voices of The Culture”. This video not only provides what you’ve come to expect, the bikes, the babes and the rally’s events, but it also includes scenes that display the raw essence and personalities of the rally and its goers. It’s a must-have for your video collection. Also available on DVD.

Headwinds Headlights Also In The Gulch–Can you say– the best damn headlights and accessories around? Sure you can and you’d be speaking the truth. Purchasing directly from Headwinds online is now just a click away here on Bikernet. As I’ve said before, “Don’t take my word for it, CHECK THEM OUT! Click on their logo above and see for yourself.

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