BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEW FENDERS, MAY DAY POKER RUN, TEXAS BIKINI WASH AND THE PAINT JOB OF THE WEEK.

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–A guy can’t get his unit up anymore, so he goes to the doc’s to get things checked out. The doc does a full exam and tells the guy “Hate to tell you this, but you’ve worn your penis out.” The guy asks “What do you mean ‘Wore it out’???…I can never use it again??” The doc says “You’ve got *MAYBE* 30 more times with it…”

The guy is depressed as all hell and decides to go home and tell his wife. He fills her in and she’s like “Only 30 more times?? That’s horrible! Why…each time will have to be for special occasions…we should make a list!”

He says “I already did, and you’re not on it!”

–from David M.

LASER CUT FOR YOU–This is a completely unique motorcycle gift. PERSONALIZED WITH YOUR NAME, CLUB OR MESSAGE (One or Two lines-20 letters & Spaces per line). Plaque is Laser cut from 14-gauge steel then brush polished and lacquered. Measures 24″x6.5″ and is drilled with two mounting holes. (Two drywall anchors with brass screws included). You can have anything you want cut into the 8-inch by 2-inch center piece for $69.95 + $10 UPS S&H. Your name, nickname, wife, girlfriend, date, event, memory, business name, favorite saying, use your imagination. TO ORDER CALL Toll Free 1-800-283-1717 (10 to 3 Pacific time). All forms of payment accepted.

Your Satisfaction is 100% Guaranteed. Allow 3 weeks for delivery-Rush Service available on request. ORDER NOW 1-800-283-1717.

PAINT JOB OF THE WEEK–The Crazy Horse Paint Job of the Week belongs to Beth Vale of Gaylord, Michigan. Not too many women request skulls, but she and her husband Tom designed every detail on this one. They wanted the skull not to be too mean looking, bone white flames that fade to a dark silver, black pinstripe, and for the base coat color, the reddest red on the market, which turns out to be House of Kolor Blue Blood Red.

Gaylord is a small town pop. 9,000. But I think this paint would stand out anywhere. One of the old redneck guys who hangs at the bodyshop that does my clear work claims that this paint, out of all my paintwork that he has seen, he likes the best. Not what I’d expect from guy whose main ride is a golf cart.

BIKERNET FORIEGN RELATIONS NEWS–An Englishman, a Dutchman and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia,sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi policerush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severeoffence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually beingcaught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers,they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to lifeimprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday theday their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decidedthey could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: “It’smy first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each ofyou one wish before your whipping.”

The Dutchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:”Please tie a pillow to my back. This was done, but the pillow onlylasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishmentwas done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Dutchman in horror hesaid smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.” But even two pillowscould only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and theFrenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything,the Sheikh turned to him and said: “You are from a most beautiful partof the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. Forthis, you may have two wishes!”

“Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness”, the Englishmanreplied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that yougive me not 20, but 100 lashes.”

“Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are alsovery brave”. The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. “If 100lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what isit to be?” the Sheikh asked.

“Tie the Frenchman to my back.”

–from Buckshot

TEXAS BIKINI WASH–On May 25th the Martin Bros, located down in Duncanville, Texas will behaving a free Bikini Bike Wash and a Bike show. Joe, Jason and the crewbuild some of the meanest customs around.

Their latest bike, the Dragsta II,was unveiled at the Dallas Easyriders show. The complete details follow, aswell as a couple of shots of the bike.For more information contact the shop or go to the website:

Martin Bros Bikes
519 East Highway 67
Duncanville Texas
972-709-2552
www.martinbrosbikes.com

–Chuck

ONE LINERS FROM THE GOOD DOCTOR–1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought hewas God and I didn’t!
2) I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
4) Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
7) You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.
11) I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) NyQuil – The stuffy, sneezy, coughing,why-oh-why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
14) The trouble with life is there’s no background music
15) God must love stupid people; he made so many.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
21) To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.
22) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up
23) My Dog Can Lick Anyone
24) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts – Do You Want Fries With That?
25) Computer programmers don’t byte, they nibble a bit.
26) All men are idiots and I married their king!
27) Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.
28) My wild oats have turned to Raisin Bran.
29) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
30) Stupidity is NOT a handicap. Park elsewhere!

–from Nuttboy

BIKERNET TRAVEL ADVICE–An airline’s passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came mincing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic-looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”

She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one.”

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I’m called a Queen, so I out-rank you. Tray-up, bitch.”

–from A. Friedman

FROM THE BIKERNET SPECIAL OPS REPORTER–Figured I would show you the latest addition and a few images from The May Day Poker Run last Sunday.

Just got back from Oh Canada the whole week sucked and the snow bunny lost her mind. Just proves that no matter what country you are in, they are all crazy!

The Poker Run did not seem to have as large a turn out as last year. Not sure if that has anything to do with the C.O.C. meeting on the same day or not. Patsy Thompson played this year again. I need to see if her new CD is out already. Just a bunch of good ol? folks just having fun.

The Pan is a 56? With some new upgrades like disc bakes & electric start. The blonde in the red shirt tried to run over me while I was trying to do my job as a correspondent.

I see some folks are looking for the bedrolls. Keep one with my name on it if & when you decide to get some more.

–RFR

PRO-FATTY– So you’ve got the big meat, now how are you gonna keep it from throwing roadkill all over you and your precious mount? PRO-ONE has you covered with their new PRO-FATTY rear fender. Custom fabricated from a single piece of heavy gauge steel, no welded seams to split, these awesome units measure a full 9 inches in width, plenty wide enough to house today’s popular Big Meat tires. Available in three styles, Bobbed, Heritage and Contour, each fender is fit with wire tubes on both sides and comes ready for paint.

Suggested retail for the new PRO-FATTY fenders is $289.95 and they can be ordered from any PRO-ONE dealer or by calling 800-884-4173. Catch PRO-ONE on the web at www.pro-one.com or email sales@pro-one.com.

DEFINITION OF A HARLEY–Definition of A Harley: From here up Roy Rogers, from here down Southern Pacific.

–old shot from Bob T.

POUR THE TULLAMORE DEW–It’s time to post this mess and scramble to the garage. I dug through the back streets of Wilmington, California, for old maritime junk yards, but they’re a dying breed. I searched for metal-art scrap. We’re building new fences around the Bikernet headquarters out of steel, motorcycle wheels and handmade steel gargoyle faces. Hang on.

I was also looking for some small, 1.5-inch brass rings to braze into dainty female Bandit belt buckles. I found a half dozen at Kelly’s Marine salvage yard just a couple of blocks away. We live in the best part of town–the ghetto.

Keep an eye on the site. Several features are on their way. I may take shots, as I make two buckles this afternoon. Newlyweds are heading this way from Strokers of Dallas. I need to fix them up properly. Jose didn’t mention my rare, stylish buckles in his descriptions of the latest trends. Hope I’m not on the outs. They’re featured in the Digital Discovery area of the Cantina.

Ride Forever,
–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CARIBBEAN REPORTER STUDIES BIKER APPAREL STYLES

Continued From Page 1

Bob T. dress for style in 1974.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT GOES STYLE AND FASHION– I received a copy of Freeway magazine (from France) a few days ago. We had a small feature in it and it was pretty cool. The editorials by Zed are really good, but with my limited French I loose a bit of the “real content” .

They have a style of reporting events like Daytona, pretty much like what we do here in Bikernet. Whoever goes takes a bit and reports about it. The difference is that we all report our point of view, they do different angles to get the complete idea, needless to say in a very different way to what we are used to in the US. So once more you might be wondering what the fuck am I talking about ?

Here’s a synopsis of the article titled Gangsta’ Paradise. Eric was talking about the “look” of builders and industry people, and I mean younger, at Daytona (and every place else) The loose shirts, the baggie pants, sneakers, tattoos (well these are not exclusive to young), backwards caps, beanies, etc, etc. The old Heavy Metal which has been replaced by hip hop, or rap Ala Kid Rock, punk rock, or even Funk. The choppers sporting “pointy” objects, not the soft lines, the bullets and the brass knuckles. The kind of bikes being built now, rigids, with lots of rake and stretch and “gros pneu” or big ass tires, jockey shift and no nonsense approach (sort of a follow up on my less is more rant of last week).

But ladies and gentlemen, strippers and saints, this will be the first time that yours truly will take a serious approach at fashion in the bike world, or at least attempt to explain a point.If you think of a biker, most people think of leathers, boots, skull caps or bandannas and a bunch of crap attached to those leathers or hanging from any other article of clothing (for a pretty good example of the Faux bad ass look, check your local HOG or Main Street rally time)/ That can’t be further from the truth. So let’s keep on…..

Stylish gentlemen from the biker collection.

Sure leathers will save you from some road rash and sorta keep you warm and the boots and all that hoopla. But in reality, the ” biker” of today is a lot more than a riding individual. There’s booth’s to peruse, places to go, standing up for long hours, working at the shop, etc,etc. To top it off the space in bikes is less and less. Bulky stuff is out, stuff that can be used and be comfortable is the norm. So let’s take this shit apart, piece by piece…. Baggie pants and jeans, wearing those jeans that are so tight, restraining movement and making you sing soprano after a while, is out. We can live without them. Most of the younger industry people wear pants that are comfortable, can be dirty and can be used as much as wanted, but not because we are following a hip hop trend. Besides, why ruin a good pair of Levis (for special occasions only) while we can beat the shit out of some Dickie’s and replace them for less than 20 bucks? Shorts? No thanks been burnt enough.

Sneakers, while this is not new, it has changed a bit. I have seen Arlen Ness and other builders wear white sneakers for a long time, the only difference is that the ” newer generation’ prefers Vans or Pumas, so why is this? Try standing around for eight hours, which sometimes turn to sixteen or twenty in a pair of “shit kickers” or engineer boots. Yeah, you might as well wear stripper stilettos, because you will take the same beating. So if something happens we are not as protected as with boots, that’s correct, but I rather risk my ankles than kill them. And let’s not even talk about nasty blisters. Are we copying the young skateboarders, nope we are being smart. Plus their grip factor is excellent in these days of ” billet” and bare metal controls.

Shirts are the same issue, something that is (and most of the time) saying who you are and what you do, or who your friends are and what they do. It’s free advertising at its best. We wear it loose for all the above reasons, unless we are buffed and want to impress some chick. I prefer dark colors so the stains don’t show. It’s all a matter of convenience. Plus is the daily bread of most shops.Caps and bandannas, they have several uses. In places where’s there’s no helmets, the caps are what keep your hair in place.

Have you seen Billy Lane, his hair? He went the extreme way and grew da’ dreadlocks mon… It is a major bitch trying to get those knots out, needless to say painful, plus it protects us from the sun and becoming red necks. Even wearing the caps under the helmets prevent that awful smell that helmets gain after some time, you know what I mean, and presto, no comb, no nothing, just take that stupid lid off and look like a champ. The security blanket of the biker, the infamous bandanna, as many uses as a tie wrap or duck tape, best used to avoid those deadly needle like rain drops from our mugs, hold the hair in case of loosing the cap on the Freeway, and everything and anything. But please, they have no use whatsoever tied around your ankle or thigh, that’s really gay.

And now the most famous item of all–the chained wallet. Have you ever lost a wallet on the road? Now you know why. The Vest? Unless you are in a 1% club, or freezing your ass coming back from the Love ride, no way! Gloves? Mechanic gloves or dumpster, some protection from the cold and better yet from burning items on your bare bike. Someone has to stick their hand in there, better be prepared. Tattoos, self explanatory, being here since the start of the civilized world. Jackets? Any lighter jacket will do. There’s preference for working jackets, like Dickies. If they are good enough for guys who work day in and day out in them (and warm enough) they are good enough for me, plus they are easier to handle and stow than any big ass, heavy leather jacket, and save some cows as well.

So what do I make of all this? To some it might be a certain style of certain people (see Jesse James for a good example), but in reality this ” young guns” of the industry are being practical. Simple as that, and wearing stuff that is all around, as practical and uncompromising as the choppers we build.

Gotta get to the news since I got another piece to write for Glamour…..

And now to the news:

We have received a few e-mails from the boys in Iraq, pretty cool stories of stuff that we have not seen on TV (and are not compromising national security) There’s claim that one of the favorites web sites amongst the forces from Puerto Rico is ChopperFreak.com, even more we have heard that there’s a The Horse banner flying around some secret place in Baghdad, I still waiting for the photos and I will post them here as soon as we get them.

We also received an e-mail from a friend who is hand-fabricating miniature choppers out of wood, pretty cool and very detailed. They even come with a show case. You can reach Miguel at maikol99@hotmail.com, he’s a very talented artist and wants to get his wares out in the world.

And now to the hottest news of the week, we have received a letter from a lawyer requesting the immediate cease and desist of selling our “Priceless” shirt, (note* I can mention anything I want here since this is the news and protected by the Fair use Copyright act). They claim that our “version ” is too similar to the credit card ad. Since I have no desire to give a red cent to any of these guys I am not going to argue and take the shirts off my site. But, a little research and help from various friends has lead me to this:

The Copyright act 107 allows fair use as long as it’s a parody, the acclaimed “tarnishment” and dilution can only be achieved if the words are used in a repulsive or immoral manner to consumers, and the shirt does not compete with a Financial Institution which is what the credit card company is. As well the copyrighted words are ” PRICELESS” noted that it’s all in caps, and ” There are things money can’t buy for everything else there’s Mastercard (again this is protected for my use under the Fair use Copyright act, since it allows news reporting and parody). We ended our shirt with, ” There are few things money can’t buy, for other there’s always suicide.” If you read word for word, it’s not the same. You will be the judge.

More so, the letter claims it is only valid for Puerto Rico, so that means I could use it for the US. Now all this said, what has me in awe is How the fuck did they figured this one out ?

We are not that famous, and I know why. Someone here Snitched, and I have a vague idea of whom it was. I guess they are just envious of our vast success, while they are thieves in order to pay the bills. And I know they might read this… So here it goes: At least I’m not using false advertisements in my ads (which is punishable up to $10.000 in Puerto Rico). I’m not infringing on the copyrighted Harley-Davidson, West Coast Choppers, Screaming Eagle and such logos to promote goods without permission. Plus they are using the trademarked, West Coast Chopper logos, on business cards and print ads (while not being a dealer). They also copy shirts and caps with trademarked logos. You fuckers opened the Pandora’s box, now tighten your britches, motherfuckin’ Weasels !

By the way, I’m looking for a set of Panhead tops from Custom Cycles engineering, the old ones, if you have any you would like to part with let me know at Jose@chopperfreak.comCheck the photo.

We’ve heard of some recalls from Indian motorcycles and as soon as we get them we will let you guys know about them.

As we speak the Myrtle Beach rally is taking place, let’s see if we get some reports from the front, we received a letter from HOG SC of their intentions of leaving the “riff raff” piggybacking on the image of hog…. Let’s see what’s up with that. Also the boycotts’ results and damage done.

Also heard on the grapevine that our pseudo competitors are building a web site. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery….Have fun Suckas !

I’m glad to report that I have been hired to do a monthly editorial, kinda what I do here, you know, bitch and rant with no mercy whatsoever, on our local motorcycle magazine Bikerspot. It’s gonna be fun and I will make sure I piss a lot of people off. What the hell, they hate us anyway….Be prepared.

Ok, enough rant and bad blood, have a nice week end, enjoy the bike and go riding, Summer is across the corner, the rallies are starting to sprout, take a trip, send me a chick, do something……..See you next week…..Remember the only certain things in life are death , taxes and me giving someone or something hell, here in Bikernet.

–Jose, Bikernet’s Caribbean reporter

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–COP ARRESTED, BOOK ON BUILDING A SHOP AND SUMMER EVENTS

Old shot from Bob T.

What the hell! I’m trying like a mad dog to post the news post haste. I’m at a loss for an intro and I think I know why. She whispered in my ear this morning, “Coffee, news or sex?” I was caught up with my goddamn list for the morning, looking at the clock and feeling the pressure of multiple deadlines. Okay, so I broke one of the major Code Of The West Rules. A man never passes on an opportunity for sex.

My punishment will be severe. I’m already feeling the nasty effects of writer’s block. We better get to the news, quick:

MYRTLE BEACH FEELING THE BOYCOTT BLUES–

Fewer vendors means Horry County is nearly $200,000 short on money officials planned to use to fill budget gaps, said county spokeswoman Lisa Bourcier.

The county will have to make up the difference by leaving some job openings vacant and taking money from elsewhere, Bourcier said.As of 5 p.m. Wednesday, 233 vendors had bought county permits, compared with more than 500 vendors last year, Bourcier said.

Organizers of the Carolina Harley-Davidson Dealers Association Myrtle Beach Rally say the permit price reduced the number of vendors.

“I can’t imagine many more being sold,” said Sandy Leone, spokeswoman for Myrtle Beach Harley-Davidson, headquarters for the rally.

RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–Just a quick update on the 5th Annual Run For Breath. Billy Lane sent us some great door prizes from Choppers Inc. Jose said his awards are done and are waiting for paint.

Have you rented an 18 wheeler to ship the “Best of Show” award? Oh by the way, the layout for the T-shirt was completed this week. It’s lookin’ great!

–Mike Pullin

COPS TRYING TO SHUT CLUB PARTY DOWN– East Hartford Police Department, intent on shutting down any party put on by the Hells Angels MC, took a message to the owner of Michael’s Restaurant Cafe, where the Hartford chapter of the Hells Angels had hoped to have its Spring Breakout Party on Saturday.

First scheduled at the Shamrock Cafe in Suffield, the party moved once Suffield police encouraged the bar’s owner to close for the day instead. Hells Angels then approached Eugene Lavigne, Michael’s owner, and he agreed to host the party.

But Thursday, two East Hartford officers informed Lavigne that he did not have the town’s mandatory $10 amusement permit, which needs 90 days to process. They also told him that he would have to foot the roughly $3,500 bill to pay for the six officers, one supervisor and associated cruisers, as per state statute.

Lavigne remembers the conversation. “They said that they don’t want that kind of element in the town of East Hartford, that’s what they said,” he said.”What choice do I have? I have to comply with them, otherwise they’d put me out of business” he said.

–from Rogue and Bikernews.net

NEW DIGITAL DISCOVERY FIND–There’s a special spot in Bandit’s Cantina, the secret, membership only section of Bikernet. We hunt day and night for odd, rare, unknown and untold stories and post them in the Digital Discovery area. It’s a kick. This week we posted biker fiction from 1930, illustrated with the above fine art.

The Cantina is cheap, less than a couple of bucks a month. That contribution supports all the content on Bikernet. Enjoy.

COP FEELS THE HEAT–Dennis Kalinoski, 60, was accused of possessing firearms while using crack cocaine, selling guns and ammunition to a convicted felon, and transferring such weapons for use in drug trafficking and violent crimes.

“When you see a former law enforcement official betray his past, it’s always disheartening,” U.S. Attorney Patrick J. Fitzgerald said.

If convicted, Kalinoski would face a maximum of 10 years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine on each of the three counts in the complaint.

Federal officials said an unnamed member of the Black P Stones street gang identified Kalinoski as a crack user and gun supplier last week. The information prompted an investigation that included an undercover purchase of firearms, surveillance and the seizure of seven guns from an individual seen leaving Kalinoski’s house in suburban North Riverside.

Agents raided Kalinoski’s North Riverside home Saturday night and found 402 guns and tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition, authorities said.

–from Roque and the Outsiders Bikernew.net

BIKERNET THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK–There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra thanAlzheimer’s research. This means that by 2020, there should be a largeelderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutelyno recollection of what to do with them.

THE INCREDIBLE LA CALENDAR MOTORCYCLE SHOW–HOT FOR JULY 19TH-20TH WEEKEND– Now in its 12 year, the Performance Machine sponsored Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show produced by FastDates.com publisher Gianatsis Design Associates has grown to become the biggest and best Custom and HiPerformance Street bike Show in America. Held on the 3rd weekend of July at the Queen Mary Event Park on the edge of the Pacific Ocean in exciting downtown Long Beach, we weren’t content to sit on our hands when we could make the best Bike Show in America even better. Joining our associate sponsors Corona Beer, ReCycler.com / Cycle Buys, Trader Publications / Cycle Trader, Iron Works magazine for Harley enthusiasts and BikerNet.com, and The Shop will be The Los Angeles Times, one of America’s leading and largest newspapers assisting with pre event publicity and post event coverage. The Speed Channel’s premier American motorcycle series American Thunder produced by WATV will also be dedicating an entire program to the Calendar Bike Show as they do every year.

A favorite attraction at past Calendar Bike Shows, our West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout returns this year sponsored and produced by Jardine Headers, America’s premier performance exhaust system manufacturer for sportbikes and V-Twin motorcycles. Bike builders and enthusiasts will be able to roll their 2-wheeled rockets up on the Jardine dyno in front of hundreds of spectators and prove just how much horsepower their bikes really produce.

Another new attraction this year will be the Jim’s Machine Burnout Contest produced by one of America’s leading engine component manufacturers in the American V-Twin market. Taking place on the front straight of the SuperMoto track each afternoon during race intermission, this is the chance for performance bike exhibitionists to show how much smoke they can make in destroying a rear tire to the cheers of thousands of admiring fans. The folks at Jim’s Machine promise to award trophies for this eye watering / ear shattering mayhem that are as unique as the Burnout Contest participants themselves.

Additional Spectator and Exhibitor information for the Show can be found online athttp://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM

A BIKERNET RELIGIOUS MOMENT–“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.”

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the woman you were with?”

“Sure I can’t be tellin’ you, Father. I don’t want to ruin herreputation.”

“Well, Tommy, I’m sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as welltellme now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Patricia Kelly?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Liz Shannon?”

“I’m sorry, but I’ll not name her.”

“Was it Cathy Morgan?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Fiona McDonald, then?”

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re a steadfast lad, TommyShaughnessy,and I admire that, but you’ve sinned and you mustatone. You cannot attend church for three months. Be off with you now.”

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,

“What’d you get?”

“Three month’s vacation and five good leads”, says Tommy.

–Rogue

CHOPPERS INC. ON BIKERNET–That’s right. Jose, the Bikernet Caribbean reporter unveils the inside story behind the Choppers Inc. experience. It’s on the home page now.

THE BIKERNET FARM–On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to playtogether.

One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog andbegan to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chickento go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but tono avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Runningaround, the chicken spied the farmer’s new Harley. Finding the keys inthe ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he stillhad time to save his friend’s life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see thechicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of theloop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end tothe rear bumper of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove slowlyforward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, andthe farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies,best pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, andsoon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save hislife! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the largepuddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his “thing” andhe would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, andthe horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story:When you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a Harley to pick up chicks.

–Rogue

BIKERNET SHOVELHEAD–We’re damn excited about the completion of this 4-year project by Strokers Dallas. If I come out of this terrible 10-year writers block ailment. I’ll write a progress report this afternoon. Watch for it.

NEW BOOK FROM WHITEHORSE PRESS–A new edition of one of Whitehorse Press’ perennial bestselling books, HOWTO SET UP YOUR MOTORCYCLE WORKSHOP, has just come off-press and is nowavailable. Packed with easy-to-read practical advice, author Charlie Masidescribes designing, building and equipping the workshop you need and helpsyou make the most of your available space. This is a must-have,money-saving reference you’ll return to time and again.

HOW TO SET UP YOUR MOTORCYCLE WORKSHOP: TIPS AND TRICKS FOR BUILDING ANDEQUIPPING YOUR DREAM WORKSHOP, 2nd Edition by Charles Masi, 175 pages, b/willustrations throughout, item code W-MASI2, $19.95http://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.asp?cn=50245&en=en0305&id=masi2

Eight profiles of real-world workshops, from small garage spaces topurpose-built restoration and race-prep shops, are featured in this editionto provide ideas and inspration for Do-It-Yourselfers. Each profile has ascaled layout of the shop with photos as well as tips from the owner ordesigner. With the workshop design in place, Masi helps identify themust-have and want-to-have tools to appropriately equip the space, and bestof all, how to use them.

Continued On Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DEAL OF THE WEEK, NEW BIKERNET BIKE COMPLETED, TECH INFO, GASOLINE ALLEY FEATURE, HIGH SPEED WOBBLES AND CV CARB ARTICLE FOUND

Continued From Page 3

Click to order Catalog!

Custom Chrome ? and Chrome Specialties ? have joined forces to bring you the most comprehensive product offering in the Harley-Davidson ? aftermarket! At over 1,400 pages and over 25,000 part numbers, our 2003 Catalog features everything from nuts & bolts to HR3 bike kits, and sets the NEW industry standard.

ONLY $9.95 + 6.95 Shipping**

Once you find the part you need, go in to Chrome Specialties down below and order online! It’s that simple.

old photo from Bob T.

BIKER/POLICE RELATIONS–Biker rolling through town on his custom, fastest bike in town. He’s going around a bend when he rolls up on a cop. The blue lights come on and out rolls the cop. The biker thinks, “He’ll never catch me in that car” and takes off. Several miles later the cop is still behind him as he pulls over.

The cop walks up to the biker and asks for his license. Then the cop says, “OK. I’ve had a crappy day, and I’m ready to head home. Come up with a good excuse for speeding away from me and I’ll let you go.”

The biker looks at the cop and replies, “The old lady left me last week for a cop. I was afraid it was you and you were trying to bring her back.”

Cop hands him his license and tells him to have a nice ride home.

–From Chris T.

AMAZING WIDE 21–Hallcraft’s has announced the availability of its new 21″ X 3″ wirewheel designed specifically for the new 120/70X21 tire. Introduced tomeet the market demand for a front wheel with greater stability andmaneuverability when used with the ever popular wide rear wheels. Theyare available in either 46 Texas Big Spoke radial, or 80 and 100 spokein cross laced or radial laced designs. These babies are guaranteedtubeless and featured Hallcraft’s exclusive factory balancing system.Suggested retail pricing starting at $1025.00.

For more information regarding Hallcraft’s quality products contact:Hallcraft’s Industries Corp. at PO Box 1036, Gainesville, TX 76241-1036or phone 940-668-0771 or e-mail hallcrafts@nortexinfo.net or visit ourweb site at www.hallcrafts.com.

LOST BIKERNET CV CARB TECH INFO–We recently lost a CV carb tech link on the site. Fortunately a reader jacked us about it and we scavanged until the article was located. Since a lot of riders run CV carbs and need them enhanced for modified engines we’ve placed it back on the home page.

Ron Trock is a strong source for reliable performance modifications and CV carb mods.

Trock Cycle
13N417 French Rd.
Hampshire, Il. 60104
PH. 1-847-683-4010

HIGH SPEED WOBBLE TRIBUTE– I want to pass something by you for your information. While on myrecent trip, and traveling at approximately 112 mph I let up on thethrottle because I had had enough at that speed. As I released thethrottle, my FLH went into a violent high speed front end wobble. FranklyI don’t know how I survived it. Anyone who has truly experienced such aviolent wobble, and lived to tell about it, can’t help but think long anhard about riding again and or about finding the cause. The cause may well bestupidity for the speed. and that’s the answer.

Now I have already determined that a cause was my poor judgment attraveling at such a high speed and loading up the front end by releasingthe throttle. However, after we get past that, we get to the part whereit’s not suppose to happen and Harley denies that it does. Well I am hereto tell you that’s pure bullshit. Now if you want to tell me that the FLHshouldn’t be ridden in excess of 80 mph , then tell me , but don’t put aspeedo with 120 on it, and then tell me its all my fault for going 120.

In any event, someone suggested that the gear changes could have, in someway, contributed to or caused the wobble by some change in the dynamics ofthe bike. Please understand I am not placing any blame, I am just tryingto examine all possibilities. If it boils down to my own poor judgment,then I accept that, but if there is any possibility the twist gearscontributed to it, then they are coming out because I don’t ever want toexperience that wobble again.

Thanks

The above letter was answered by John Siebenthaler who works with Johnson Engineering who manufacture Twist Gears.

Whoa – that’s a story. I can’t comment on the wisdom of running a dresserat that speed, but that’s why they make Buells. Taking into considerationframe geometry, aerodynamics, weight distribution, suspension, roadconditions, etc. I can flatly say the transmission had nothing to do withit. Neither did the battery or tour pak. Well, maybe the tour pak.

Touring Harleys at speed have long been an issue. Try any of the listservers for harley/wobble, and see what you come up with. Think aboutit…you’re riding a Barcolounger with the aerodynamics of a barn andthinking a shot at the land speed record. But the veryfirst item for consideration is the fork-hung fairing on an FLH and theframe mount of an FLT.

A couple of years ago, Fat Boy owners were blaming that same wobble on thesolid wheels. I don’t know, maybe there is something to that in a severecross wind, but try getting an admission from the motor company (I thinkthe element of informed consent has some bearing on their thinking, as doesthe huge range of riding ability). And as you well know, all they need isone rider who does that kind of speed routinely and your argument is moot.

To me a troubling aspect of the current crop of contemporary riders andtheir bikes is that the power to weight ratio has gone through the roof,without corresponding attention being paid to core aspects of frame andsuspension, which are absolutely critical for high speed operation, or,lets face it, rider abilities.

We’ve got a guy here who runs a big inch nitrous bagger at the drags, Ithink his times are in the low 120 range. And Gerry Merchant (Merch Motors)runs our TwistGear in his 131-inch baggers all over Canada. We redesigned theoil seal because of his high speed shenanigans, but never heard anythingabout wobble.

If whoever suggested the Sophist connection between transmission and frontend cares to convince me that all things green are grass, I’ll listen.However, we’d have to run down everything else in between first, like wheelspacers, tire pressure, tire and wheel balance, wind conditions, etc. I’m not takingshots, but think what happens when you back suddenly out of the throttle atthat speed and rewind what you’ve seen on the Speed Channel of the Daytona200 as they approach the chicane coming out of turn four. Then we’ll cutopen a goat and read the entrails for signs.

My theory is a combination of several of the above, plus tire deflectionthat would have to occur as a large amount of weight is instantaneouslyshifted from the rear of the bike to the front, along with severe forkcompression. Just a windage guess, but weight distribution probably wentfrom something like 30-70 to 80-20 in a fraction of a second as the bikeunloaded and downforce caught the fairing.

–John

We spoke to John this morning and discovered more research on handling. The two most important aspects of handling according to a mystery expert, are wheel construction and tire pressure. We’ll bring you more data in the near future.

GASOLINE ALLEY NYC–Deep in the heart of Brooklyn, NY’s industrial waterfront district lies Indian Larry’s GASOLINE ALLEY NYC. Neatly tucked between warehouses and commercial buildings, magic is being made daily.

TBear caught up with the gang recently and shot a feature on one of their bikes. Watch for it to be launched over the weekend.

TECH INFO ON BIKERNET–We try our damnest to answer tech questions within 24 hours. If I don’t know the solution, I turn Frank Kaisler (long time motorcycle mag editor and tech head), Pablo, a master mechanic from Charlotte Harley-Davidson, or any number of master mechanics, Hamsters, antique motorcycle enthusiasts or manufactures. We endeavor to squeeze the answere our of someone.

A reader recently asked about removing the legs from a ’02 touring bike. Here’s Pablo’s response:

“Do you mean the the sliders/lower legs not the tubes?? Also when you say dresser you mean the FLHT models and not Road Kings?? This depends on the year. Air assist yes, for sure. Newer 02 FLHT’s and later models have a cartridge dampner in one side and H-D adiosed the air system. The air system made it easy to put fork oil back in the legs. You used vacuum to do this task.

Now you have to take apart the forks to fill them. This means removing the hole damn fork tube ass’y from each side. There are other ways to do this which are not recomended byH-D. You can use vacuum to draw up the fork oil but still need take off a bunch of plastic/switch etc. to get to the fork tube caps. That process needs a lenghty splaination. I use that vacuum device I made. That was in a tech article awhile back, remember??”

–Pablo

First, I asked the question without enough information. That lead to the above garbled explanation. I’ll try again.

BIKERNET SEXUAL ADVICE–Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.The first guy says his favorite position is the “rodeo”.

The other guy asks what the position is, and how to do it?

The first guy says, “You tell your wife to get on the bed on allfours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get underway andshe’s really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear –

‘Your sister likes this position too’…..

Then try to hang on for 8 seconds.”

DEAL OF THE WEEK–Just got the following e-mail from Mike Cole. Selling a bike. If anyone’s interested contact him directly at mikecole@bright.net.

“Hey, I’m trying to sell my bike, and thought I’d see if you could get the word out. It’s an 01 Road Glide w/some extras. 18” tires[130 if., 150 r.] chrome wheels w/ rotors, and pulley to match, Thunderheader, extra chrome, etc. I have 18k invested. I’ll let the windshield, derby cvr. stay, and I’ll sell for 18k. Luxury Rich Red. Buy! Buy!Buy!

I have it paid for and I can use the money for material. I’ll buy a new one, and make the payments. Thanks in advance.”

–Mike Cole

BIKERNET SPORTING ADVICE–A man is in his back yard trying to fly a kite. He keeps throwing itinto the air, where the wind catches it for a few seconds before itcomes crashing down.

Watching him from the kitchen window, his wife mutters how men haveto be told how to do everything. So she opens the window and yells,”You need more tail!”

He shouts back, “Make up your mind! Last night you told me to go fly a kite!”

–from Nuttboy

IT’S BEEN A GOOD DAY–The bike at the head of the news was built by Rick Fairless and his crew at Strokers in Dallas, for Bikernet. The bike began as a 1984 Mexican Police bike that I purchased from Arlen Ness.

Watch for a full feature on the bike in the near future. The engine was built by JIMS machine. They also rebuilt the transmission. Harold Pontarelli painted the 5-Ball logo and the sheet metal. The frame and rims were powdercoated by Custom Powder Coating in Dallas. The rigid frame is a Paughco. Damn, it’s a hot little 1928 Shovelhead. Nice work.

Have a helluva weekend.

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CARRIBEAN JOSE LASHES OUT, SOAP OPERA IN THE CANTINA AND BAD ACCIDENT REPORT

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– I don’t know if you have noticed, but recently there’s a lot more “talking” and a lot less news, so you may ask why ? Of course I’m going to answer this, my way, since I pre-hooked the question. I don’t know if the things that I use for the news are less important to me today, like such and such ride of the local HOG, or any other sort of irrelevant information, or it’s simply that the “biking” scene this side of the Atlantic is not hot and happening right now (event wise). Or it could be that we ( I and all) are really too busy to keep the network going. Sometimes the best news are the ones I can’t share with you guys. May it be that the event or action is planned for the future and until it happens, I can’t say shit. Sometimes it’s information I should not share or was are asked not to.

I enjoy ranting about general stuff. If you want to get something different let me know, I might have an idea or two up my sleeve. Like I’ve said many times before, everything changes. We are in constant evolution, well maybe not everything. Sometimes when I am laying around, thinking about what should I write, some ideas stick and stay , then they start evolving. This one started as simple as a short ride to one of our local hang outs.

We all change, right? Some decide to live in the glory days past. Styles, bikes, clothing, it all changes, or does it ?I was riding a couple nights ago to a party for Cinco de Mayo. I took one of the choppers at the shop, randomly, and rode away, but you know what’s funny, I felt totally uncomfortable and out of place. I was not “happy” riding. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like a chopper is a replacement for Prozac. The bike is as neat as can be, rigid chop, with a potent motor and really nice lines. It’s a bike I really enjoyed breaking in, but I hated it for some reason. It wasn’t the bike, it was me….

While all the hot chicks were dancing and pounding the Tequilas and Cervezas, I could not get the sense of “not liking it” out of my mind. Don’t get me wrong. It was hard to get a decent thought, since the party was full on, and needless to say, the Puertorrican beauties in those low cut jeans and shirts make a pretty strong “point”. But I still pondered. Between mental images of hot babes girating, I have realized the reasons, or the reason, I’ve changed.While sometimes I don’t give a fuck what I am riding, like when people lend me a bike or want me to try it out. It really matters to me what I do ride, to put it mildly, sometimes I’d rather walk than ride a bike I don’t like. Yeah call me a snob, what the hell do I care. This all started more or less five years ago, on one of my early dates with my current ex. We went riding and I grabbed a Fat Boy (for her comfort) but man was I a sorry ass, lame, puppy. I hated the ride. Yeah, it’s retarded, new girl on the back, kick ass beach roads, the tropics, and still I felt totally out of place, uncomfortable should be the right word and it was the bike.

As we all have styles, guess what? So do I, and I’m calling mine, “minimalistic” simplicity at it’s purest form, or like Frank Lloyd Wright coined, “Less is More”.I hated that short ride because the bike had mirrors, speedo, switches and a whole lot of other stuff that I really don’t like, stuff that clutters the area and in reality are of no purpose, (by the way before we keep on and for the sake of argument, have you ever had a mirror that worked?). It had the wrong bars (for me) and too many of those gadgets that the DOT make manufacturers use in order to get the “Sticker”. I might be sounding like a prima donna to some, but I guess I can choose what I want, Right?

To top it off, I have been rebuilding my old Pan chop and while trying to do it with the less money possible, I find myself looking for stuff that would, and now hear this, make me happy. I don’t really give a flying fuck if it works or looks good, I like stuff that you can barely see, or even better that can’t be seen or is not even there.

Sure I have to be reasonable, I can use jockey shift / suicide clutch, but in PR I would be really dumb if I did not have a front brake, or at least something to grab the bike while I take off. I have a couple choices, and the usual would be a six piston, 13″ rotor, nope, wrong. The smaller the better, 2-piston, 8 1/2″ rotor. I’ve been going crazy trying to find the smallest (hope invisible) master cylinder possible, such is the way it is. Sure I may go with a 250 tire, or 120 spokes, but at least it’s clean and simple, not over done aluminum stuff with intricate designs, like the norm is today. Front fenders are history, if it rains, you get wet, rear fenders, minimal, just enough space for a back rest and maybe a bitch pad, gas tanks with enough capacity to get you to the next station. I guess you know what I mean.

It’s not my call to do “theme” bikes, nor overdone baggers. We follow our path, as simple as that. I’m taking a wild guess and would say that’s the state of mind of the early bobbers and choppers…Just a hunch.Anyway, this is a small example of what I mean. This line of thought is too long for here, check upcoming issues of The Horse for the full story.

A now to the news…..or lack there off…. The local HOG chapter celebrated their Mother’s day ride last Sunday. The numbers are in the 300’s. I bet they had a lot of fun wearing leather chaps and jackets in 90 degree weather. As always, and as it always be, I did not go. I heard they had fun doing the Macarena.

By the way, Happy Mother’s day to everyone out there. Remember it’s this Sunday. Get to the store before all the cards are gone.

I just received Freeway magazine from France, Rumble Customs has it’s Camel Bike featured there, plus a really cool story on Daytona 2003 by every member of the staff. Also a few cool choppers from all over. Those guys have a really great publication, too bad it’s only available in France and of course french.

Anyway…I’m outta here.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet reporter

BANDIT’S CANTINA PLUG–There’s a new episode of Bandit’s Cantina Soap Opera up in the Cantina. Don’t miss it. By joining you support all of Bikernet for better and mo’ content. Just click on the link at the bottom of any page.

Do it for Mom.

–Wilburn Roach

FINALLLY BAD DRIVER TAKES THE FALL–A Des Moines charter van driver and his employer face 14 criminal charges between them nearly a year after a Tama County crash killed three motorcyclists and critically injured three others on U.S. Highway 30.

Gary Butler, 48, allegedly fell asleep at the wheel of the empty van on June 22. The van crossed the center line of the two-lane highway near Chelsea and slammed into six eastbound motorcycles.

Butler shuttled railroad workers from eastern Iowa to Boone for Armadillo Express, a Cheyenne, Wyo., charter company.

A grand jury decided Monday to charge Butler with three counts of vehicular homicide, six counts of involuntary manslaughter and two counts of serious injury by vehicle. The company was charged with an additional three counts of involuntary manslaughter. Butler testified that he had been tired after a long shift, witnesses said.

The crash killed three motorcyclists who rode nearest to the center line: Arlen Pickering, 53, of Story City; Douglas Sampson, 51, of Ames; and Ross Holland, 57, of Boone. The injured men were Jim Olson, 62, Richard Vauble, 50, and Wayne Wierson, 56, all of Ames.

Olson, who was hospitalized with a brain injury for four months, suffered hearing loss in one ear, eye damage and a loss of balance.

He has no memory of the accident, but said he was riding last in the line of motorcycles. Reports indicate that Olson laid down his motorcycle and slid around the wreckage. The impact threw him into the air, and he landed on pavement more than 100 feet from his motorcycle.

“I never liked life the way I have in the last few months because I’m alive,” Olson said. “But my friends aren’t.”

The experienced motorcyclists were on their way to a motorcycle open house in Anamosa. It wasn’t clear where Butler was going.

All the crash survivors and families of the victims are suing Butler for undetermined sums of money, Olson said.

He said the crash caused him to leave his job and collect disability payments. The former water-softener dealer bought a new motorcycle, but hasn’t taken it for a ride.

“I guess I’m not ready to,” he said.

Send a letter to the editor

Bro, this will show that some people still value human life. The pisser is the punishment won’t fit the crime, but it’s a start. The newspaper is The Des Moines Register (Iowa).

–from David Dinneen

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEW THREADS FROM HUZE, RACING THROTTLE STOP, HAWAIIAN BIKE SHOW AND NEW WEB SITE…

Continued From Page 1

NEW PERFORMANCE PRODUCTS WEBSITE–H&L Performance produced the bad ass engines that Orange County Choppersused on their Jet Bike and the Black Widow Bike. I have been working ontheir website for a few weeks now and would like to see it added to yourfine page under “Web Links”. They do awesome complete billet motors,head work comparable to NONE and many more “Go Fast” treatments to allV-Twin’s (American). Thanks for your consideration! Sorry, here is the link

http://www.handlperformance.com

–Jerry

CHOPPERS ONLY ISLAND EVENT–On the island of Oahu July 6, 1st annual Choppers only! run and show.Raffle Run start’s at MoanaLua Gardens at 10:00am and will end at 1:00 at the Hard Rock Cafe in Waikiki. All bikes are welcome.Bike Show from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.,Judging Start’s at 3:00 pm.

Classes
1). Old Style Chopper
2). New Style Chopper
3). Digger
4). Island Style
5). Best of Show

Each class 1st. Place $500.00 cashand hand made Retro Trophy.

Emcee will be hosted by Local Comedian Andy Bumatai.Entertainment by Biker Blues and also Big DogAssorted giveaway’s from Hard Rock Cafe and special Sponsor’sAny question’s or interest in the event Call Decon at 808-236-0405.

NEW AIR THROTTLE STOP–We would like to introduce the improved MPS Air Throttle Stop. We made it smaller (Just 2″ wide at its widest point) by incorporating the adjustment lock collar directly to the special air cylinder rod. In using this design we were able to eliminate the extra adjustment rod completely. The air cylinder screws directly onto the mount eliminating the set screws being tightened down on the stainless steel cylinder. This prevents any possibilities of bending the cylinder and binding the piston inside. We have eliminated the ball chain as well, removing all possibilities of breakage. So, be sure you compare the features our new “Stop” before you buy an imitation of our original Air Throttle Stop.

To celebrate, the new and improved Air Throttle Stop, we offering the “MPS Heads Up Combo Package.” This package incorporates the MPS Air Throttle Stop (Lectron or Mikuni) and a Dedenbear Throttle Stop Controller for one low price of $499.00. This saves you $100.00 off the regular price of this package. The sale ends 5/18/2003 at Midnight so don’t delay. Order your “MPS Heads Up Combo” P/N 1-0330 today and start winning races!

For those of you who are new to Throttle Stops, they are designed for slowing down a bike to run a specific index while still maintaining high MPH. The new MPS Air Throttle/Stop is used with the Dedenbear Throttle Stop Controller P/N 11-TSC-2. This is the only NHRA legal throttle stop for a motorcycle and is available for Lectron carbs P/N 1-009 and Mikuni type carbs P/N 1-0091.

Operation is simple, just set the amount you want the carb slides to drop during throttle stop operation (adjusts from 0″-1.5″) with the adjustment lock collar. The Throttle Stop Controller controls when and how long the throttle stop is activated. After leaving the starting line the carb slides will drop to the preset point where they will stay until the timers deactivate it allowing the slides to return to wide open throttle. Through all this your hand remains at full throttle. It will not turn your throttle grip! The speed that the slides open and closed can be adjusted independently of each o! ther and can be made to open fast or slow. This lets you dial in an easy roll on or roll off the throttle. Using the throttle stop right off the starting line can eliminate wheel spin entirely for the ultimate in consistent 60 footers. The Air Throttle/Stop comes with a throttle cable, electric air valve, air tee, air line, and installation instructions.

You will need to mention the Internet special to get this sale pricing. Go to our web site at http://www.mpsracing.com/ and click on the secure order form to order yours today. These purchases will count towards the 2003 contingency purchases, so register online now! Click on over to the ever growing instruction area while you are surfing. You will find over 50 sets of product instructions for MPS, MSD, NOS, Dyna, and Computech products. And as always, enter the Tether Kill Switch drawing. Dick Hartman of Thunder Valley Cycles in Fremont, IN was the lucky winner in April. Congratulations Dick!

–Dan Rudd
www.mpsracing.com

CYRIL DOES IT AGAIN–Cyril Huze Tribal Clothing (Jackets, Caps, Tees). He never stop designing, manufacturing or creating. This is a sample of his latest line.

Cyril Huze CustomMotorcycles & Parts
http://www.cyrilhuze.com
http://store.cyrilhuze.com
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923

A BIKER’S NUTS–On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two bikers filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one biker. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

A young boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

He just knew what it was. “Oh my”, he shuddered, it’s Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

“Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.”

The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.”

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me…”

The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord himself.” Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, “One for you, one for me.” And one last “One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence, and we’ll be done.”

They say the old man made it back to town a full five minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.

–from Chris T.

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH 5/8–ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO PRINT

I’m up to no good this week. Custom Chrome is back as a Bikernet sponsor. I need to rock through the news since Buzz Buzzeli, the editor of American Rider is headed to the headquarters for a meeting about the next issue. The HORSE deadline is hanging over my head. and I need to finish one of the final chapters of my first Chance Hogan books. Tomorrow we’re working on the King for American Rider and Bikernet. Some final touches will bring it to life. The Amazing Shrunken FXR is beginning to move into its final stages, and it’s Mom’s day.

Of course my 81 year old mom is on the road, as usual. She’s in Victoria, Vancouver. I don’t know why. She follows Jazz festivals all over the country and just recently returned from a tour of Italy. She loves to travel. Say hello to your Moms for me, goddamnit. Let’s get to the news.

SELF DEFENSE AWARENESS SEMINAR THIS WEEKEND–Richard Bustillo, a biker, Bandit’s Sifu and member of the Martial Arts Hall Of Fame, has the distinction of being certified as a law enforcement defensive tactics instructor with the FBI, LAPD and LASD. He will conduct a Self Defense Awareness Seminar for Women and Men this weekend. May 10, 2003, Saturday 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. The fee is 10 bucks a person or 15 for two. IMB Academy (310) 787-8793, 22109 So. Vermont Ave., Torrence, CA. Don’t miss it.

5TH ANNUAL RUN FOR BREATH IS COMING JULY 27TH– The event sponsored by Charlotte H-D is a tribute to the founder’s son, Justin. Mike Pullin the father behind the event donates the proceeds to the American Lung Association kids’ camp program. Don’t miss the rides, poker run, bike show and bands.

Old shot from Bob T.

2003 STURGIS HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES– ?Ever wonder who mastered those colors?? states Jim Betlach. ?Candy Apple Red, Metal Flakes, Pearls, you name it, Jon did it. Jon Kosmoski created the famous paint studio House of Kolor in the early fifties. Today, House of Kolor paint is used on virtually everything that has wheels, everything cool that is. From a small body shop in the fifties to national and international fame in the nineties, Jon Kosmoski?s House of Kolor has set the bar that everyone wants to reach.?

Dave Perewitz concurs, ?Jon Kosmoski has been a major influence in the custom motorcycle paint market since the beginning of custom paint. Jon?s expertise has helped most of today?s custom painters. His seminars are unforgettable and his books and tapes have been a source of knowledge and guidance for struggling painters.?

?In the early 70?s Gary Bang saw that a large percentage of riders enjoyed customizing or ?chopping? their motorcycles,? says Micah McCloskey of Micah McCloskey’s Custom Cycles. ?He also saw that the Harley dealerships did little or nothing to help this part of the market. Gary came out with an after-market catalog of custom accessories for Harley choppers. The American motorcycle enthusiast finally had a company that carried what they needed, and wanted. Gary started the trend, big business copied it and finally Harley?Davidson recognized the importance of this part of the market. It is this part of American motorcycle enthusiasm that has propelled Harley-Davidson to where it is today, and Gary Bang was the first one to help meet this need??The Sturgis Motorcycle Museum received nominations for over 20 exceptional candidates,? said Pepper Massey-Swan, the Museum?s Executive Director. ?After carefully reviewing all of the credentials it was determined by the Board of Directors that Jon and Gary had earned this recognition due to their innovative ideas, implemented to serve a special niche market that would enjoy growth beyond even their wildest dreams. We are extremely proud to add their names to the list of talented and honorable people who have impacted motorcycling in such a significant and positive manner.?

The Annual Hall of Fame Induction Breakfast will take place, Wednesday, August 6, 2003 at 9:00 a.m. at the Holiday Inn in Spearfish.

Tickets for the breakfast are available for a $20.00 donation per person or $160.00 per table of 8. All previous breakfasts have been sold out so we recommend you purchase tickets early. Tickets can be purchased by calling the Museum at 605.347.2001 or on line www.sturgismotorcyclemuseum.org

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE DRAG TEAM MAKES HISTORY AGAIN IN ATLANTA–Hines Qualifies 5th and Tonglet Qualifies 8th; Both Riders Win First Rounds, Set Records.

MILWAUKEE, WIS. – (May 4, 2003) It was another history making weekend for the Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines drag racing team as both riders qualified their V-Rod bikes for the NHRA Pro Stock Bike Summit Southern Nationals at Atlanta, Ga. Both riders went on to win their first round runs on Sunday, setting new NHRA records for V-Twin performance in the process.

Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines V-Rod rider Andrew Hines qualified 5th with a new V-Twin record run of 7.214 seconds/185.43 mph. That run bumped Suzuki-mounted Craig Treble from the field for the first time in his 58-event career. It was another testament to the competitiveness of the NHRA?s Pro Stock Bike class, where more riders went home after qualifying than made the 16-bike field, as 34 riders attempted to make the Sunday show. Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines V-Rod rider GT Tonglet qualified 8th with a best run of 7.234 seconds/183.234 mph.

GT Tonglet won his first round against ninth-ranked John Smith aboard a Kawasaki. Smith red-lighted, but Tonglet and his V-Rod would have prevailed anyway with a 7.215 second/188.99 mph run. Andrew Hines posted a 7.179 second/183.12 mph run in the first round against twelfth-ranked Sean Conner?s Suzuki, also advancing his V-Rod to the second round. Tonglet?s trap speed of 188.99 mph and Hines? 7.179 second elapsed time each set NHRA Pro Stock Bike records for the best performances by V-Twin-powered motorcycles in series history.

In second round action, Tonglet red-lighted his V-Rod against Geno Scali?s top-ranked Suzuki. Scali would move on to win his semi-final round and the final. Hines beat Suzuki-mounted Shawn Gann off the line, but had to back his V-Rod out of the throttle as he drifted toward the wall and Gann won.

?Both bikes are responding well as our continued development efforts are obviously paying off. I?m happy we have our hands around this program and we?re competitive,? said Byron Hines.

SPAM OF THE WEEK–I receive over 200 e-mails a day. Mostly SPAM, but this had a Harley for sale so I grabbed it. Beware, could be a scam or just a sales effort.

These are just some of the unbelievable items waiting for you at Free Bidding:
* 1993 Sea-Doo
* 1991 Harley Davidson FatBoy
* 1989 Mustang GT

* 1999 Dodge viper

* PLUS LOTS MORE

Click on the link below to join Free Bidding now!!http://lists.mailogen.com/t/?u=296&l=29&id=3311582

AOL Users Click Here

BIKERNET LESSON IN CUSTOMER SERVICE–A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “That’s theugliest baby I have ever seen.” Mad as hell, the woman slammed her moneyinto the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked herwhat was wrong. “The bus driver insulted me,” she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’tsay things to insult the passengers.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”

“That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey.”

SURGICAL-STEEDS SELECTS MIKULAK CONSULTING AS LICENSING AGENCY–SAN DIEGO–April 16, 2003–Mikulak Consulting (www.mikulak.com), an independent, full-service licensing agency offering services that help companies build and exploit long-term value using their patents, copyrights and trademarks, announced today that it has signed Surgical-Steeds Classic American Motorcycles Inc. (?Surgical-Steeds?), manufacturers of the Steed Musclebike? (www.musclebikes.com) to a worldwide, exclusive multi-year licensing agency agreement. Surgical-Steeds, the leader in the design and manufacture of premium, high-performance American motorcycles, retained Mikulak Consulting to develop and implement a strategic licensing program in order to capitalize on its position within the industry and to better reach its customers.

Mikulak Consulting will leverage the unique brand that Surgical-Steeds has developed through its specialized approach to licensing ? an approach whereby Mikulak Consulting acts in a capacity similar to an in-house licensing and marketing executive who would be responsible for building brand equity and generating revenue at the same time. Mikulak Consulting will be representing Surgical-Steeds to manufacturing partners who are capable of creating and distributing products that complement the purpose of the brand.

Surgical-Steeds ? Classic American Motorcycles?

Designed and built in Scottsdale, Arizona, the Steed Musclebike is truly a product of its environment ? the Arizona desert: Desolate, wide-open highways, scorching temperatures and longer distance rides are not friendly to most motorcycles in general and most customs bikes in particular. These brutal conditions demand an approach to motorcycle design and manufacture that emphasizes performance, quality, reliability and practicality ? attributes previously unavailable in a low-volume American motorcycle before the Steed Musclebike. And, unlike other low-volume motorcycle builders, Surgical-Steeds is a federally licensed motorcycle manufacturer, meaning all come with a 3-Year Factory Warranty, DOT, EPA and CARB Certifications and are also listed in the NADA and Kelly Blue Book Motorcycle Appraisal Guide, thereby establishing consistent resale value and full-coverage insurance availability.

THE CRAZYHORSE SAGA CONTINUES–I have sad news for all the handsome men in the Northeast. Crazy Angie went down to Florida last month. Seeing as how we were both traveling by air around the same time and with all that was going on in the world right then, we were both pretty nervous. I wasn’t around and didn’t get the message she left on voice mail until a week after she left it. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t bring up her number in the phone quick enough. I only hoped she would answer the phone. Just as I was about to give up she answered, ” Hello, this is Mrs Angie Pelletier.” Angie got married!!!!!! She was in Florida for 6 days and hooked up with her boyfriend from 2 years ago. He let her get away 2 years ago, I guess he wasn’t taking any chances this time.

My latest paintwork is a Marine Corp themed paint job for a former Marine up in Kentucky. The tank was tedious to do but my favorite part of it is the bulldog on the airdam. I just finished up a skull with flames on a softail and am working on airbrushing an eagle on a heritage tank. Getting ready to start the airbrush work on the lovely Jennifer’s new chopper. I’ll post more pics next week.—–

—CrazyHorse

Continued On Page 2

DAYTONA 2003 PART II

Continued From Page 1

RAIN AND NEW RULES DAMPEN DAYTONA BEACH

Daytona Bike Week started Friday February 28th and so did the rain. So far it has dampened more than spirits and the crowds are not evident on Main Street.

Bars and restaurants are doing fine though.

Although officials want the Bikers to spend money, they are fining those that have too much fun. Showing too much skin will cost ya $106.00 and too much to drink in public $53.00 (Don’t Even Think About DUI). Failure to turn headlight on or no eye protection is $44.00, handlebar height, loud exhaust etc. It just goes on and on.

Bikers bring about $260 Million into town annually to the local economy. Town’s people as well as the visiting bikers feel that they are being taken advantage of.

Many popular activities, like spaghetti wrestling at Bikers Paradise and coleslaw wrestling at the Cabbage Patch, are outside the city limits on state road 415 and not subject to the stricter laws. Both places will hold the events on Wednesday March 5th and the weatherman has said the rain will move on.

I hope for once he is right. The Paradise will also host a Best Buns/Wet T-shirt contest,Thursday. Look for fun action at these and other places in the county. If you are not sure what is happening, where or when, just pick up one of the handy event guides that are on counters in shops, restaurants and bars. If you don’t have a good time, it’s because you’re not paying attention.

And of course check in with Bikernet on a regular basis to keep up with WAS HAPPENIN’. If you see me have me take your picture.

–ROGUE

WELCOME TO ORLANDO BIKE WEEK

By MARK HARPER
Staff Writer
Last updated: Mar 1, 10:40 PM

ORLANDO — Rich Mosher downed another Budweiser as he was showing aninquirer how he put $22,000 worth of customization into an $18,000 “hog.”Nearby, a police motorcyclist inched between two rows of orange cones,competing to see if he could deliver the slowest time without placing hisfeet on the ground.

No lines formed at the Swamp Rat Bar, despite the presence of Jack DanielsGirls to pour shots; inside the Harley-Davidson dealership, there were justas many people drinking at the coffee bar.

Welcome to Orlando Bike Week.

The Orlando counterpart to the traditional Daytona Beach Bike Week may onlybe 3 years old, but it’s making strides. Some 100,000 visitors are expectedat the nine-day event that started a bit slowly Saturday. Though little rainfell, people were discussing radar maps perhaps more than that afternoon’sappearance of the 1970s rock band Foghat.

Organizers find Orlando Bike Week an event with promise, a natural, with thepotential to showcase more of Central Florida’s attractions to visitors withgood demographics.

But it is a bane to some Volusia and Flagler county retailers, hoteliers andvendors, who rely heavily on Bike Week as a time to make the money thatmakes their year profitable. There are fears that spreading the action willresult in spreading the wealth.

Some — including Daytona Beach Harley-Davidson owner Bruce Rossmeyer — goso far as to say the Orlando organizers are “taking advantage” of Daytona’scampaign to tame Bike Week. If bikers are turned off by high room rates,efforts to control noise, nudity and inebriation and the city’s concernsabout the cost of playing host to big events, some fear they will move theparty southwest.

“My concern as a Harley dealer is they are going after business that’s outthere, and God love ’em,” Rossmeyer said. “Competition is good for businessand consumers.”

For their part, Orlando Harley-Davidson co-owners Steve and Anne Deli saythey are merely trying to widen Bike Week’s scope by giving riders moreoptions. Making it a Central Florida event can only attract more bikers andtheir disposable income, said Anne Deli.

“We’re hoping the emergence of Orlando will help grow Bike Week beyond whatit is today in Daytona,” she said. “There should be millions of peoplecoming to Bike Week.”

OFFICERS IN FULL FORCE DURING BIKE WEEK

By MARK I. JOHNSON
STAFF WRITER
Last updated: Mar 5, 02:14 AM

EDGEWATER — George Surls was philosophical about the yellow ticket in hishand as he walked back toward his motorcycle along U.S. 1 Tuesday morning.”I broke the law and got caught,” the Lawrence, Kan., resident said.

Surls, who was in town for his first Bike Week, will spend the rest of the10-day festival walking after receiving a criminal citation for ridingwithout the proper endorsement on his driver’s license.

He and his wife, Stacy, were netted in local law enforcement’s effort tocrack down on illegal motorcycle operations. But unlike many of those cited,what could have been a $44 ticket for noisy pipes turned into a visit with ajudge.

Area lawmen said the strict enforcement is needed to address the concerns ofSoutheast Volusians, whose primary complaint is the noise. While the roar ofa set of straight pipes might be music to the ears of some, others wouldlike to muffle things a bit.

“We are trying to satisfy the year-around residents as well as the tourismaspects of Bike Week,” Sgt. Tom Hoover said. “Some motorcycles are extremelyloud.”

Edgewater Police Chief Mike Ignasiak was more direct.”The people are fed up with riders cranking up their pipes at 1 or 2 a.m. intheir neighborhoods,” he said.

“It has been going very well,” he said Tuesday. “During the first three daysof Bike Week, the traffic section wrote 87 citations. If you count the roadpatrol, I believe there are another 70 out there. That is more than triplewhat is issued during a normal week. But then our traffic is about 10 timeswhat it normally is.”

The infractions range from illegal equipment — such as the noisy motorcyclemufflers — to speeding, running stops signs and other safety violations.

“We had one guy clocked going 97 mph in a 55 mph zone in the pouring rain,”Ignasiak said, “and when we pulled him over, he wanted a break because hepulled over.”

FINANCIAL REWARDS OF BIKE WEEK DOWNThe 23-year-old from Orlando said her tips from Bike Week visitors are a bit lower than she expected.

“We’re still making money,” she said, “just not as much as it should be.”

Rain during four of the first five days of the motorcycle festival has dampened sales, threatening to cut into the $260 million the event annually pumps into the economy, according to some nervous entrepreneurs.

“This is the slowest Bike Week I’ve ever had,” said Deyton Peyton, who has run a hot-dog stand outside the Full Moon Saloon on Main Street the past 15 years.

Peyton said so far he’s struggling to make the $500 daily cost for rent and various city and health department licenses.

“That’s a lot of $2 hot dogs,” he said.

He’s also got more competition this year: 26 food vendors on Main Street, double last year’s number, vie for business from the crowd, which usually reaches about 500,000 bikers.

Nancy Silcox, owner of the Caribbean Trading Co. clothing store on Main Street, said about a third of her annual revenues come from Bike Week; this year, business might be down 35 percent.

Farther down the street, Jerry Berkowitz — whose Good Sports company owns a half-dozen stores and equal number of vending operations on Main Street — remained cautiously optimistic.

“The rain might be keeping some people inside their hotel rooms,” he said.

Bikers were staying in their rooms at the 17-unit Famous Shores Motel on South Atlantic Avenue in Daytona Beach Shores where owner Mark Zdunek kept a nervous eye on the cloudy sky Tuesday morning. He hasn’t had any cancellations yet because of the bad weather.

Mark Soskin, an economist at the University of Central Florida’s campus in Daytona Beach, said a depressed national economy, the threat of war, and even the record high gas prices also might be keeping crowds down.

“We get a ton of people from the North and Midwest,” he said. “Maybe bikes get great gas mileage, but a lot them are towing their bikes behind a trailer.”

Doug Chandler, 51, an electrician from Hermann, Mo., brought his Harley-Davidson to Bike Week on a trailer.

“I’ll take a warm rain over a cold dry spell any day,” he said while holding onto a cold beer can on the deck of a Main Street cafe. “I just got my Harley and I wanted to see what this was all about.”

Chandler said going to Bike Week is like visiting Las Vegas. “You want to do it once in your life,” he said. “Now that I’ve seen it, I plan to make it an annual thing.”

— Staff writer Aaron London contributed to this story.

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SWAPMEET TEXAS STYLE, RUN FOR BREATH COMING, WELDING RECOMMENDATIONS AND 100TH NEWS

Continued From Page 1

WASHINGTON POST’S STYLE INVITATIONAL–Each year the Washington Post’s Style Invitational asks readers to takeany word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changingonly one letter and supply a new definition.Here are the 2002 winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until yourealize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of gettinglaid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person whodoesn’t get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad

vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a seriousbummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeer Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they comeat you rapidly.

And, the winner of the Washington Post’s Style Invitational:

Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole

SPEEDFREAKS MAKE THE PITCH AND MARIO ‘GOES YARD’ IN THE FREAK NATION– Hollywood, CA (April 28, 2003) – As heard emanating from the Lucas Oil Studios Sunday night, SpeedFreaks and Mario Andretti reiterated how the formerly cancelled Road America Champ Car race made it’s way back onto the open wheeled series play list.

You betcha, the SpeedFreaks national radio show was the catalyst.

“Absolutely, absolutely. After our conversation a few weeks ago (in the SpeedFreaks Pits), it just got the energy going and a lot of reaction from the fans,” says Mario ‘Mojo’ Andretti. “It just rekindled the interest and a lot of voices came to the surface. We had to listen to the fans. That interview we did played a big part.”

“Why there wasn’t an open wheel race named after the Mad Italian in the first place is beyond me,” says former Italian restaurateuring busboy turned SpeedFreaks Prez, Kenny Sargent. “The next step? The Mario Andretti Grand Prix at Road America, presented by SpeedFreaks… Oh boy, Katy bar the door!”

You can hear the interview and the show in it’s entirety on the SpeedFreaks’ web site www.SpeedFreaks.tv. Hit the SpeedFreaks’ Past Shows button in the upper right hand corner of the cover page, under the Bud Racing logo.

HARLEY’S 100TH THREE DAY SPECIAL–Participate in three days of special Anniversary events in and around Milwaukee that will include music, entertainment and Harley-Davidson history. Plus, an exclusive event is planned for the 20th anniversary of H.O.G. More info.

Fourteen months of celebrations culminate in this event that will launch Harley-Davidson into its next 100 years. Don’t miss this party complete with music, fireworks and ceremonies that are sure to go down in history.

The event to launch Harley-Davidson into the next 100 years is the 100th Anniversary Party held in Milwaukee’s Veteran’s Park on the shores of Lake Michigan, Sunday, August 31, 2003. Get ready for one of the biggest birthday parties the world has ever seen.

The free main stage event will feature big-name, live entertainment and will be the culmination of the year-long anniversary celebration and kick-off another century of great motorcycles.

Event details for the Party have not been finalized. More information will be added to the Harley-Davidson site as it becomes available.

All dates, locations, times and activities are subject to change. Check back there often for the latest information.

WELDING RECOMMENDATIONS–We recently purchased a MIG welder. We’re novices-in-training but received some hints recently. John from StraightPipez sent the following tips:

“You are using the BEST made michine for welding. Miller is the Best. The “silicon” your were told to use is actually called Tip Dip. Avialable at any welding supply store in a spray can or as a paste. There are also tools and reamers for cleaning the tip. There is also a 10 in 1 pair of pliers that’ll do the trick. When you use the spray, try not to cover the actual weld area, just the surrounding area. The spray is made to keep the splatter from sticking, but won’t hinder the weld.”

THE BIKERNET WHISKEY HUNT–We’re looking for 12-Year-old Tullamore Dew, an Irish whiskey. Here one connection.

“We just received our delivery of Tullamore Dew 12 years old today. You mayorder it online at www@missionliquor.com or give us a call at (877)772-0500or (626) 794-0500.

Poker Run Registration
10:00?12:00
Ben?s V-Twins
2429 South Tryon
$10.00 Per Hand
Poker Run ends at Tumbleweeds Barin Monroe
last hand in at 2:00

Bike Show Registration
12:00?2:30
Tumbleweeds Bar
Trophies will be awarded at 3:30
Unique custom-madetrophies in every class!!!

Special Guest Edge from?The Horse/Backstreet Choppers? Magazine

Pre-Run Party
SaturdayJuly 26 at 7:00 p.m.
Kristopher?s Sports Bar, Matthews

Door Prizes ~~~~ Good Food & Drinks~~~~ Music by Mike Brooks The DJ

All Proceeds Benefit Camp Air Care – American Lung Association of NCThis camp is for children with asthma. Justin Pullin lost his life from asthma at the age of 16.

For more information call Mike Pullin at 704-847-4647 or 704-573-9396

BIKERNET REPORTED EMBEDDED WITH COALITION TROOP IN IRAQ–Bandit, The dust and stress and bullshitfinally caught up with me. I spent a couple of days in intensive care inKuwait after my body told me to fuck off. Sucks when you can’t breathe andyour chest has an invisible tank parked on it. Serves me right to try tokeep up with these youngsters. Prognosois : Angina & asthma. My time in theboonies is over. I’m heading back home to Colorado on the 11th, stopping inGermany to see how much beer I can consume in a two-hour layover.

Here’s a good quote. Do with it as you will. “It “It is not the critic who counts, not theman who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deedscould have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in thearena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strivesvaliantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the greatenthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; whoat the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, atworst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his placeshall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory ordefeat.”

THEODORE ROOSEVELT
(Paris Sorbonne,1910)

TEXAS SCOOTER TIMES PROUDLY PRESENTS SWAP MEET TEXAS MAY 4TH AT THE HEART OF TEXAS FAIRGROUNDS–Vendor Rentaly $30 approx. 10×10 (includes 1 admissionReservations RecommentedAdmission $8 for Adults$5 for Kids 5-12Under 5 FREE* Live Band* Door Prizes & other contests* Bargains* Discounts* Parts & PartyShow Hours: 11am-5pmVendor Setup: 8am-11amH.O.T Directions: From I-35 Exit Valley Mills, Go East on Valley Millsto Bosque Blvd. Take a right, Fairgrounds are approx 1 mile down on the left.For Info Call: 254-687-9066or Visit: www.texasscooter.comMark Your Calendar for May 18th!!!!for the 2nd Annual Dallas ChampionshipsAt Red Line RacewaySee You There!!!

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–SWAPMEET TEXAS STYLE, RUN FOR BREATH COMING, WELDING RECOMMENDATIONS AND 100TH NEWS

Continued From Page 1

WASHINGTON POST’S STYLE INVITATIONAL–Each year the Washington Post’s Style Invitational asks readers to takeany word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changingonly one letter and supply a new definition.Here are the 2002 winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until yourealize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of gettinglaid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person whodoesn’t get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad

vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a seriousbummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeer Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they comeat you rapidly.

And, the winner of the Washington Post’s Style Invitational:

Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole

SPEEDFREAKS MAKE THE PITCH AND MARIO ‘GOES YARD’ IN THE FREAK NATION– Hollywood, CA (April 28, 2003) – As heard emanating from the?Lucas Oil Studios?Sunday night, SpeedFreaks and Mario Andretti reiterated how the formerly cancelled Road America Champ Car race made it’s way back onto the open wheeled series play list.?

You betcha, the?SpeedFreaks national radio show was the catalyst.

“Absolutely, absolutely. After?our conversation a few weeks ago (in the SpeedFreaks Pits), it just got the energy going and?a lot of reaction from the fans,” says?Mario ‘Mojo’ Andretti. “It just rekindled the interest and a lot of voices came to the surface. We had to listen to the fans. That interview we did played a big part.”

“Why there wasn’t an open wheel race named after the Mad Italian?in the first place is beyond me,” says former Italian restaurateuring busboy turned SpeedFreaks Prez, Kenny Sargent. “The next step? The Mario Andretti Grand Prix at Road America, presented by SpeedFreaks… Oh boy, Katy bar the door!”

You can hear the interview and the show in it’s entirety?on the SpeedFreaks’ web site www.SpeedFreaks.tv.? Hit the SpeedFreaks’ Past Shows button in the upper right hand corner of the cover page, under the Bud Racing logo.

HARLEY’S 100TH THREE DAY SPECIAL–Participate in three days of special Anniversary events in and around Milwaukee that will include music, entertainment and Harley-Davidson history. Plus, an exclusive event is planned for the 20th anniversary of H.O.G. More info.

Fourteen months of celebrations culminate in this event that will launch Harley-Davidson into its next 100 years. Don’t miss this party complete with music, fireworks and ceremonies that are sure to go down in history.

The event to launch Harley-Davidson into the next 100 years is the 100th Anniversary Party held in Milwaukee’s Veteran’s Park on the shores of Lake Michigan, Sunday, August 31, 2003. Get ready for one of the biggest birthday parties the world has ever seen.

The free main stage event will feature big-name, live entertainment and will be the culmination of the year-long anniversary celebration and kick-off another century of great motorcycles.

Event details for the Party have not been finalized. More information will be added to the Harley-Davidson site as it becomes available.

All dates, locations, times and activities are subject to change. Check back there often for the latest information.

WELDING RECOMMENDATIONS–We recently purchased a MIG welder. We’re novices-in-training but received some hints recently. John from StraightPipez sent the following tips:

“You are using the BEST made michine for welding. Miller is the Best. The “silicon” your were told to use is actually called Tip Dip. Avialable at any welding supply store in a spray can or as a paste. There are also tools and reamers for cleaning the tip. There is also a 10 in 1 pair of pliers that’ll do the trick. When you use the spray, try not to cover the actual weld area, just the surrounding area. The spray is made to keep the splatter from sticking, but won’t hinder the weld.”

THE BIKERNET WHISKEY HUNT–We’re looking for 12-Year-old Tullamore Dew, an Irish whiskey. Here one connection, but the price was $39.95 a fifth. Ridiculous.

“We just received our delivery of Tullamore Dew 12 years old today. You mayorder it online at www@missionliquor.com or give us a call at (877)772-0500or (626) 794-0500.

Poker Run Registration
10:00?12:00
Ben?s V-Twins
2429 South Tryon
$10.00 Per Hand
Poker Run ends at Tumbleweeds Barin Monroe
last hand in at 2:00

Bike Show Registration
12:00?2:30
Tumbleweeds Bar
Trophies will be awarded at 3:30
Unique custom-madetrophies in every class!!!

Special Guest ?Edge? from?The Horse/Backstreet Choppers? Magazine

Pre-Run Party
SaturdayJuly 26 at 7:00 p.m.
Kristopher?s Sports Bar, Matthews

Door Prizes ~~~~~~ Good Food & Drinks~~~~~~ Music by Mike Brooks ?The DJ?

All Proceeds Benefit Camp Air Care – American Lung Association of NCThis camp is for children with asthma. Justin Pullin lost his life from asthma at the age of 16.

For more information call Mike Pullin at 704-847-4647 or 704-573-9396

BIKERNET REPORTED EMBEDDED WITH COALITION TROOP IN IRAQ–Bandit, The dust and stress and bullshitfinally caught up with me. I spent a couple of days in intensive care inKuwait after my body told me to fuck off. Sucks when you can’t breathe andyour chest has an invisible tank parked on it. Serves me right to try tokeep up with these youngsters. Prognosois : Angina & asthma. My time in theboonies is over. I’m heading back home to Colorado on the 11th, stopping inGermany to see how much beer I can consume in a two-hour layover.

Here’s a good quote. Do with it as you will. “It “It is not the critic who counts, not theman who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deedscould have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in thearena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strivesvaliantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the greatenthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; whoat the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, atworst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his placeshall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory ordefeat.”

THEODORE ROOSEVELT
(Paris Sorbonne,1910)

TEXAS SCOOTER TIMES PROUDLY PRESENTS SWAP MEET TEXAS MAY 4TH AT THE HEART OF TEXAS FAIRGROUNDS–Vendor Rentaly $30 approx. 10×10 (includes 1 admissionReservations RecommentedAdmission $8 for Adults$5 for Kids 5-12Under 5 FREE* Live Band* Door Prizes & other contests* Bargains* Discounts* Parts & PartyShow Hours: 11am-5pmVendor Setup: 8am-11amH.O.T Directions: From I-35 Exit Valley Mills, Go East on Valley Millsto Bosque Blvd. Take a right, Fairgrounds are approx 1 mile down on the left.For Info Call: 254-687-9066or Visit: www.texasscooter.comMark Your Calendar for May 18th!!!!for the 2nd Annual Dallas ChampionshipsAt Red Line RacewaySee You There!!!

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