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Read More June 5, 2003 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued From Page 2
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–I’m not a sports fan, but the Anaheim Angels and Expos were playing here this week and we went over to see what all the hoopla was about. I have never seen so many home runs, the Expos has taken two beatings, so if anyone out there in the LA area was watching the ball game and imagined that you saw us, you are probably right, nope it was not the pipe. That got me thinking, and you know how it is, thinking means, news or trouble… So here we go.
This guys are making millions of dollars to play a game, stuff that we all used to do (or still do) for fun, and no one considers them sellouts.
Then they do all the ads and endorsements which even bring ’em more money. No one bitches about these guys being ” untrue” to their game. So why do we? If any of us goes major, the whole spectrum changes. It’s not a “real” whatever, he sold out his soul to the TV devil…..
I received an e-mail from some retard claiming that I could not be talking about true bikers, or real bikes, since I was from PR and this island was as far from the chopper world as you could be, and we had no history of choppers or bikes. Well, I think I’ve got a surprise for everyone. I’m starting to document the whole History of Harley-Davidson and choppers in Puerto Rico, and I am getting so much material it’s going to be pretty impressive.
But this brings me to more thoughts…. Maybe, just maybe, I should have been born in England to become a soccer star…. I guess no one told the people of Brazil that their team, who once again got a World Cup, don’t know shit about soccer. Or maybe I should have been born in Hawaii to be a professional surfer. I’ll tell you this much. The conditions in Oahu are perfect to become a world champion. It’s the best surfing backyard in the world, but I guess no one told a kid from Florida (which has kinda the suckiest waves) and has won 6 World championships. Or maybe I need to be been born in Newport , Rhode Island to compete for the America’s Cup, the most prestigious sailing regatta in the planet. Shit, I think someone forgot to warn the Swiss (which by the way have no SEA) when they won the cup. No one told the poor kids in Dominican Republic that by playing with a broom stick and tennis ball, they might become a major part of the biggest American pass time, baseball. Yep, Sammy Sosa, cork and all.
Shall I keep on going? Don’t think so. It’s got nothin’ to do with your place of origin, but all in the desire, the hard work, the hours you put into your endeavor. But one thing is for sure, all you gotta do is keep your eyes open, know what is going on around you (and I mean all around, not just in your “backyard”). That way you can achieve things that are not achievable. I don’t have to brag about what I have been able to do, but I’m pretty happy with it, and that’s good enough for me (which is what matters). We as human beings refuse to sit down and enjoy the view. We need to keep on going, create more, practice more and better ourselves. In short the day that we don’t accomplish diddly squat is a total waste. In China, Russia or Hell…..Life deals the cards, and you play them as best you can. Life can’t be bluffed.Nuff said.
Let’s get to the news…
Last weekend there was an overdose of motorcycle TV shows. Every channel had something different, from Arlen Ness and the Hamsters, to Bonneville, Sturgis, Myrtle Beach and the repeats of the Biker Build Offs, Motorcycle Women and the Jesse James shows. Even the Orange County Osbournes and more Monster Garage with no others than Indian Larry and Steve Bonge from NYC.This is fucking amazing! It’s so great for the industry of motorcycling in general that channels like Discovery, TLC, the History channel and Travel Channel were up to the wazoos in Motorcycle stuff. We are being noticed and noticed big time, I just hope that all these shows remember that there’s a big ass World out there….A lot to see and film… I wish this will all come in due time.
Our plans for Hawaii are a go. I have been talking to various friends about this show. I know it’s just a single day event, but it’s a pretty good excuse for a well deserved vacation to just hang out and surf with friends. Also I would like to get a first look at the scene in Hawaii, and share it with all that don’t or won’t have the chance to see it first hand. I am sure it will be a blast.
I talked to Chris T the other day and Billy Lane is going for sure, we are trying to get JJ to come as well, why ? Cause we are friends and we surf…And if you surf, Hawaii is the place. Chris was telling me about a possible photo shoot of us surfing for one of the magazines. That would be super cool and totally odd. After 25 or so years battling waves, being featured on a surf mag as a bike builder who surfs….That would be fuckin’ cool.
As we speak the biggest bike event in Sweden is taking place. I hate to say I had to skip it after promising my friends I would go… What the fuck! I don’t have that much time, but I still wanted to head over really bad…
Last week we went over to our friends Fiel a la Vega concert. I dare to say the top Spanish speaking rock band ever. Those guys played for three hours and outdid themselves, no pun intended. Those fuckers ROCKED! If you have the chance check them out, or visit their page www.fielalavega.com. It’s in Spanish, but music knows no language. We had a blast, and the best of the best in PR hot chicks were there…..Sight to be seen. Long live low cut denim, Levi’s Strauss was a genius.
The bikes are rolling on and the building still at a frantic pace, we are getting ready for the Horse Smoke out, the Run for Breath trophies, Hawaii Chopper Show and Sturgis… It’s all around the corner… Welcome to fucking Summer !!!!Gotta go check my new surf boards being made…..See you guys later
–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet reporter
HOLLYWOOD– Sources confirm a new reality series headed for cableaudiences this summer will feature the witty hijinks of E! network starAnna Nicole, last seen ordering her lawyer/indentured servant Howard Stern(no, not that Howard Stern) to fish out her favorite lipstick after it was”accidentally” dropped in the upstairs toilet, and Discovery Channel’sOrange County Choppers styling whiz Paul Teutul, Jr. Anna’s command to,”Just reach in there and grab it! Go on! Do it!” is seen as a perfect foilto the more reflective and stoic Teutul.
According to anonymous sources, a separate Pay Per View site, offered byWWF maven Vince McMahon as part of his groundbreaking “Salute To America’sBravest!”, will allow curious voyeurs an “all areas” access to view thebedroom antics of the two “porking” in a wide tire converted ’70’s-retrowater bed, complete with replica surface-to-air missles, faux tarantulafangs, armadillo upholstery, velvet-lined handcuff restraints, theatricalfireworks on demand, and a “chromed out” flavored condom dispenser mountedon the headboard right between the exam stirrups.
The two reigning icons of dysfunctional genetics promise to set tongues towagging when they debut a Frederick’s commissioned line of “barely there”accessories and clothing separates designed for the “hefty leather” setwhose needs require versatile outfits equally at home on the golf course orin the biker bar, and which for obvious reasons are prohibited from beingshown on the Style Network. The breakthrough designs, a blend of Pakistanicowhide, “distressed” Chinese chain, and Dutch rough trade inverted spikesand smooth latex, will rollout nationally following the premier, availableboth online and at selected retail locations.
Though not yet confirmed, the new series will likely debut as, “Yo! Yo! Yo!Get To Work Or Get Your Stupid Ass Slapped, Dummy!” The previous workingtitle, “Bowling For Bitches,” was dropped as being not sufficientlyexpressive.
Sources familiar with the inaugaral episode state that the OCC motorcyclesseen on air range in price from $750,000 to $4.5 million, depending oncustomer choices for paint and displacement. Most have already been soldand are pending delivery, although OCC is currently accepting orders for2008 delivery.
–from John S.
PRISON GUARD SEX–By STEVEN WALTERS On a voice vote, the state Senate passed the bill, sending it to Gov. Jim Doyle, who will sign it into law, an aide said. The Assembly unanimously passed the measure in April. Wisconsin had been one of only four states not explicitly prohibiting sexual conduct between prison and jail staff members and inmates. “We think it’s wonderful news,” said Lara Stemple, executive director of Stop Prisoner Rape, a national human rights organization. “We agree corrections officers should not be allowed to engage in sexual acts with prisoners. We think this legislation is needed to keep that from happening.” Martin Beil, executive director of the Wisconsin State Employees Union, could not be reached for comment. In the past, union officials argued it was enough punishment if guards who had sexual contact with inmates lost their jobs for that conduct, so it was not necessary to also make that a crime. But Fitzgerald said publicity over an incident at the Taycheedah prison for women, in which inmate Jackie Noyes was impregnated by a prison guard overseeing her – and the inmate was ordered to serve nearly a year of solitary confinement – also helped the bill pass. The guard, Matthew Emery, was fired. The Journal Sentinel reported that Noyes was one of four female inmates placed in solitary confinement for having a personal relationship with guards overseeing them or for trying to report sexual misconduct. All four were released from solitary after the newspaper articles were published. –Rogue Continued On Page 4
June 5, 2003 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued From Page 1
CRAZYHORSE PAINT JOB OF THE WEEK–I checked out Bikernet yesterday and it’s all this Hawaii stuff. Thisis where I’ve been, and it ain’t been Hawaii. I been killing myselftrying to finish the lovely Jennifer’s paint job. In the middle ofit, I had to go down toAtlanta to attend the high school graduation of my best and oldestfriend’s oldest girl. It seemed like a tame enough situation. When itwas over I was happy that my friend and I were not in jail.
It was like something outta “Cops”. I found myself in a hot rodMustang with two handsome (very) young guys, in the middle ofdowntown Dogpaw, Georgia, at 3:00 a.m., giving thedumbest answers to the cop’s dreadfully serious questions. They had ussurrounded by four cruisers. I didn’t go to jail, so I can laugh now.
“Have you been drinking or using any illegal drugs ma’am?”
“No.”
“Is this your car?”
“No.”
“Well whose car is it?”
“His,” I then point to the kid next to me.
“Well why isn’t he driving it?”
“The car?”
“Yes, ma’am, the car.”
“They asked me to drive.”
“What is the owner of the car’s name?
“Jeremy?”
“Has he been drinking?”
“I don’t know. I was upstairs.”
‘And where was this?”
“At my friend’s house.”
“And where is that house?”
“South Scales road.” (Wrong address. I wasn’t daffy enough to givethe right one.)
“And what is happening on South Scales Rd?”
“Oh that’s where my friend lives.”
“And what’s going on there? Not an underage drinking party I hope.”
“Oh no,” I looked very sincere.
“How long have you been living in Georgia?”
“I don’t live in Georgia.”
“Ma’am, are you aware that the 17-year-old boy in the back seat isout after curfew which ended at midnight, three hours ago? And you’resaying you have nothing to do with the fact that underage teen nextto you is drunk?”
“I didn’t know nothing.”
I figured we were definitely screwed. I was just hoping they didn’tlook in the trunk.
I couldn’t call MaryAnn to warn her that the cops may be on the wayto bust the party. There was a huge cop shining a bright light intothe car watching our every move. We were trapped like rats. Thenafter the longest 15 minutes of my life, they let us go and hustledoff to nab some other idiot who was stupid enough to be out so late.
It’s actually funny as hell. Funny, cos no cars got stolen, cos no onegotarrested, because the only person who got punched deserved it, andcos only one person had a hangover, and for once, it wasn’t me.
I mean I’m a middle-aged woman who is usually in bed by midnight. I seldomgo out at night. I rarely visit my partner-in-crime from my teen years. The one time I escape, I get into some of the worst trouble in my life.
This weeks’ paint job is owned by the previously mentioned lovelyJennifer. The black flames will soon be pinstriped up at GrandeurCycle in Jonesville, NC. Mike Phillips builds some nasty hardtailsand has a state of the art paint shop. They have a full servicemanufacturing facility there but the one product they make that I’dlike to snag is their inverted springer front end, but their standardspringer is pretty sweet too. http://www.grandeurcycle.com/I sometimes sketch out the whole paint job. Here’s how Jen’s tankturned out compared to the drawing.
On Thursday I pack up the Sporty and headed out to Athens, GA to meetup with 10 members of the Amazons M/C club. We’re heading up to a Mt.top lodge in Townsend, TN where we’ll meet up with eight others for aweekend of riding mountain switchbacks, shooting pool, and eatinghomecooked meals. Werented the whole lodge, as there are so many of us. There’s even a 10person hot tub on a porch that overlooks the Smokies. It’s supposedto rain. Which makes sense as two out of three trips up there, on two wheels,havebeen in the rain.
The lesson I learned this week? One I knew 26 years ago. Beware ofcute young guys with hot rod cars. Are you listening Angie?
–CrazyHorse
STURGIS PAD AVAILABLE– A good friend has her house for rent in Whitewood, SD. for the 2003 Rally. Most of you know Susan as the bar tender at the Silver dollar (rear bar, you know our bar…).Here are the details and contact info:
House in Whitewood, SD. for rent during the 2003 Sturgis Rally. 3 bedroom (king, queen, & 2 singles), Queen hide-a-bed, 2.5 baths, master bath has jacuzzi tub, loft TV room, high speed internet, directv, garage and carport. Deck with gas grill and covered porch. 1/2 block of hard pack roack to house.
ASking $3,500.00 for the week.Please contact Susan at: I have been to the house and it is lovely and feels somewhat secluded. Good luck and have a great day… –Jim Flickinger BIKERNET OZARK REPORT–This past weekend was the big old mountain run campout. The weather was great. Everyone met at the right time and we made the best time ever riding to the river. We have never arrived before dark and we pulled in at 5:00 p.m. The most interesting part of the trip was the juvee girl sneaking up to see me. She had to work until 11:00, and it’s a two hour drive to the river. We got to the river and I gathered up what I thought was enough wood to keep a fire going till about 12:30 a.m. We started drinking early, and I kept getting beers for the guys so they would drink heavily and maybe sleep soundly enough to sneak out of our camp and set up the juvee girl tent. At about midnight I threw all of the wood on the fire and stoked it up to burn fast. At about 12:40 I started saying how tired I was and reminding them that we were going to ride all day in the hot sun, so we needed to get some rest. I had my tent set up away from the rest of them. When they went to bed I figured I had about 10 or 20 minutes til she got there. She was right on time. We set up that tent way down the river from the rest of the pack, and we partied all night. At about 6:00 a.m. in the morning, I got up and snuck back to camp and slithered into my tent. Thought I could sleep a spell–no way. They scrambled out at 6:30 and started their bikes for a breakfast run. I made them come and wake me up, so they knew I was in my tent. We rode all day, drank beer like there was no tomorrow, then went to the mountain party town to go clubbin’. I was dead to the world. I got me something to eat and took a nap for two hours. Then we partied all night. I can’t tell you how fucked up I felt Sunday on that 200-mile ride home. In a million years you couldn’t get anyone to believe what happened Friday. Can’t wait til next year. –Ozark Ed BIKERNET NIGHTCLUB OF THE WEEK–This biker went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar. He asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, “You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?” The flattered girl told him it was Channel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, “You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?” “Well, I’ve got a hard on, but I didn’t think you could smell it,” the guy replied. –from Rogue LITTLE JOE’S PASSING–Sorry to hear of the passing of your friend, Joe Angel. Each time we lose an old time “real biker”, our world becomes a little smaller and less poetic. Motorcycling has come a long way since I started (1964) but some changes aren’t necessarily for the better. I miss the days when not everyone was made for riding, and when you pulled up on a chopper, people looked at you as someone to be respected, feared or just plain let alone. Maybe things are better off now, but I still miss the days when “brother” meant something.Again, sorry about hearing about Joe Angel. Hope you can make it to Milwaukee for the 100th. –Tonypan DAISY CUTTER EXHAUST–Check out these new Daisy Cutter exhaust by Martin Brothers. An alternative to traditional turn down pipes. The aggressive lines & sharp cut tip compliment the lines of any chopper or pro-street style bike. Pipes feature a stepped design, from 1 3/4 to 2 1/4 for a deep, throaty sound. They are available in show chrome, ceramic black or ceramic polished finish. They are available through your local dealers. As well as Arlen Ness, MC Advantages, & Cyril Huze. For more information contact Chris Sanchez at Martin Bros. Bikes. Also check out our latest feature in June 03, issue of Street Chopper! Chris Sanchez Speed TV’s American Thunder featuresPerformance Machine Iron & Lace Calendar Shoot,Joins LA Calendar Motorcycle Show as Associate Media SponsorAmerica’s premier V-Twin Motorcycle Show goes hog wild over the FastDates.com Calendar & Show–Los Angeles, CA, June ? The Performance Machine sponsored Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show produced by FastDates.com Calendar publisher Gianatsis Design Associates has grown to become the biggest and best Custom and HiPerformance Street bike Show in America. And when it comes to featuring the American motorcycle lifestyle on television, the Speed Channel’s long running series American Thunder is the sport’s most popular television program. American Thunder, produced by WATV Los Angeles (Lenny Shabis, producer; Aimen Shawaf, director), has regularly featured since 1995, TV coverage of both The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, and photo shoots for the popular Mikuni Carburetor and Performance Machine sponsored Iron & Lace Custom Bike Pinup Calendar featuring exotic machines from America’s premier custom builders together with beautiful celebrity models. This year we are excited to announce that American Thunder, now with a expanded 24 programs per season schedule, is joining the Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show as Associate TV Media Sponsor. Upcoming feature programs highlighting this new association include the following: Martina Warren shoots with Performance Machine for Iron & LaceAmerican Thunder segment scheduled to air on Speed Channel on Tuesday, June 10th at 7:30pm ETand 9:30pm PT. It re-airs on Tuesday, July 29th at 7:30pm ET and 9:30pm PT. This American Thunder program features one of the hottest new FastDates.com Calendar girls, barely legal 19 year old centerfold Martina Warren, Penthouse Pet and cover model January 2003, in a photo shoot with some hot custom bikes from Iron & Lace calendar sponsor Performance Machine. The Iron & Lace calendar shoot shoot takes place inside the high security confines of a Los Angeles County power generating plant with reknown photographer Jim Gianatsis and features two great custom V-Twins built by Performance Machine’s Roland Sands, one a contemporary red Chopper and the other a silver Bar Hopper, both running PM components and Mikuni HSR Carburetors.Pictures: Continued On Page 3
Martin Bros. Bikes
972.709.2552 Voice
972.709.2952 Fax
June 5, 2003 Part 1
By Bandit |
I’m runnin’ late. I had visitors at noon from Paughco and Bassani Pipes. They are building a high performance two into one systems for late model dressers. They claim at least 6 pounds of Torque and hp at the mid range. I may try a set.
Yesterday I rode out to Bloomington to see Joe Angel, the president of HA leathers, for the last time. He passed of natural causes at ’63, last week.
Let’s get to the news. I’ll try to figure out what the hell I’m doing as I go:
FATHER’S DAY CELEBRATION AT WILDFIRES– We’ve been serving Chicagoland for over 40 years. We’re located minutes from O’hare Airport in nearby Villa Park, Illinois. Not only do we have everything you’ll need for your Harley-Davidson, our staff of experts are also enthusiasts just like you. Stop on in to see what’s new. We’d be happy to help you. And advice is always free!
Join us on Father’s Day weekend Saturday, June 14th and June 15th for our Annual Father’s Day Weekend Party. The party will be bigger than ever! Free food and Beverages, GREAT SALES like nowhere else, Mikey Trickey sewing on Sunday, June 15th, live music, Buell demo rides, Tee-shirt toss and more. Join us for the fun and the special deals.
THE BIKERNET BUTCHER SHOP–As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note inhismouth, reading: “10 lamb chops, please.”
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, andquickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for agreenlight, look both ways and trot across the road to a bus stop.
The dogchecksthe timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks aroundtothe front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcherfollows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takesin the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the “stop”button, then the butcher follows him off.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes backdown the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against thedoor.He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walksaroundthe garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at thefront door.
A big guy opens it and starts yelling and pummeling the dog. The butcher runs up screams at the guy: “What are you doing? This dog’s agenius!”
The owner responds, “Genius, my ass. It’s the second time this week he’sforgotten his key!”
–from Bob T.
TRUETRACK DRESS STABILIZING PRODUCT–NO, TRUETRACK does not interfere with the rubbermount aspect of touring bikes (three point rubbermount system, also used in Buell, Dressers, FXR, V-Rod and RUBBERTAIL). Rubbermount travel in Harley-Davidsons must be in a verticle plane only, so the engine moves up and down as the engine rotates. But the rubbermounts are not supposed to move in a horizontal plane (left to right). That is why the front motormount has a stablizer link for horizontal position and the top has a stablizer for horizontal postion. But the rear rubbermounts do not have a stablizer link to keep them in the horizontal plane (to prevent moving from left to right) except BUELLS and RUBBERTAILS! Both chassis have a higher lean angle than Dressers and FXR.
TRUETRACK prevents the rubbermounts from compressing or deforming when the bike is verticle or leaned over by anchoring the rubbermounts in the horizontal position with the stablizer link (same as H-D) but not in the verticle position (the engine still moves up and down as it rotates). So the force by the tire and the leverage of the swing arm does not affect the rubbermount position (so there is no REARSTEER by the swing arm)!
It is the same positioning in cars of the rear axle by a watts link or panhard rod that prevents the body from hitting the tires when you go around a corner!
–Wil
THE MYSTEROUS UNCLE BUNT–I was cruising the site and read the “shot” letters, The guy looking forinfo on the Uncle Bunt bike in England. John Reed, yes, that John Reed isand was Uncle Bunt. You may want to call him, or I can if the guy wants tosend a photo of the bike.
–Frank Kaisler
BAD ASS PAN PRINT–Hey mister.How da fuck do I get my laser art prints into your art category huh?
This print was taken by the former editor of Hot Bike, Buck Lovell. He has a series of lazer bike prints from his long line of motorcycle photography. If you’re interested we may carry them in the Bikernet Gulch. Either drop Buck a line at: buck@riveraengineering.com, or me at Bandit@bikernet.com.
SONS OF LIBERTY RIDERS E-NEWS– Urgent! EPA letter needs your congressman’s signature!The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is making its final sprint towardhome plate with a FINAL rule on street bikes. But has the EPA tagged allthe necessary regulatory and statutory bases?
Two of the Motorcycle Riders Foundation’s (MRF) Champions of Motorcyclists’Rights & Safety, Congressmen John Shimkus (R-Illinois) and Ted Strickland(D-Ohio), are ready to send a letter to the EPA asking the right questionsat the right time. These champions of your rights and safety are asking foryour help in persuading your Congressman to add his or her signature to thatletter, and you’ve got TEN DAYS to deliver those signatures!
1. Read the Shimkus-Strickland EPA letter and the MRF’s EPA Question andAnswer sheet on the MRF website (www.mrf.org/positionpapers.php).
2. Write your U.S. Representative (http//thomas.loc.gov) or call(202-225-3121). If you need assistance or guidance before contacting yourCongressman about signing this important letter, please contact the MRFoffice at wyld@mrf.org or 202-546-0983.
3. Encourage your U.S. Representative to contact either Congressman Shimkusor Strickland to add his or her signature to the Shimkus-Strickland EPAletter as soon as possible. Be sure to give them the link to the letter onthe MRF website so they can read it themselves(www.mrf.org/positionpapers.php), or you can download the letter in .pdfformat from the MRF website and mail or e-mail it to your Congressmandirectly.
Lane Courtesy Month
You may be interested in this. If you are, please spread the word. The NMAhas designated June as Lane Courtesy Month and we are kicking off thiscampaign by calling it Do The RIGHT Thing! We want to encourage slowertraffic to move to the right. You can find more information on this athttp://www.motorists.org/right/index.html
If you need more info on this or any other subject just go to the Sons ofLiberty Riders Info Zonehttp://solrpa.com/wwwboard/ or http://www.solriders.net/
Later
Hawk
ICQ 34668186
AOL SoLRHawk
NEW ENTHUSIAST COVER–On the cover of the new issue of Harley-Davidsons publication, “The Enthusiast” is a painting By Hamster Scott Jacobs depicting an early drag racing scene of a Sportster racing a flathead powered deuce roadster. The flagger is Sharon Jacobs, Scotts wife, and the driver of the deuce is Barry Cooney.
BIKERNET HISTORY– When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. “Tarzan not know sex,” he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said, “Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.”
Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.”
She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. “Here,” she said. “You must put it in here.”
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, “What did you do that for?”
“Tarzan check for bees.”
–from Miss Kris
Continued On Page 2
June 5, 2003 Part 4
By Bandit |
BIKERNET NEWS FINISH–HAMSTERS TAKE OVER STURGIS MUSEUM, HORSE MAG COVERS HISTORY, BIG DOG REPLACES EASYRIDERS AND DRUGS
Continued From Page 3
BIKERNET DRUG DEPARTMENT–A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
The pharmacist asks “Ma’am, what do you want with arsenic?”.
The lady says “To kill my husband.”
“I can’t sell you any for that reason” says the pharmacist.”
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband having sex with the pharmacist’s wife.
He looks at the photo and says “Oh……….. I didn’t know you had a prescription
–from Ray R.
13 MOTORCYCLE HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES–Pickerington, OH – (MCNW) The Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum is proud to announce 13 new members who will be inducted into the Hall of Fame on Sunday, October 5, 2003.
The Class of 2003 includes three of today’s most widely recognized racing stars, two of yesterday’s legendary racing champions, four passionate ambassadors for the sport of motorcycling, two women who defined adventure riding, one tireless race track official and one unforgettable team of winners. They are:
C.E. Altman – Promoted the Houston Astrodome dirt track races that for many years were the kickoff for the AMA racing season. Pioneer of AMA Supercross events including Houston Astrodome and Pontiac Silverdome.
Debbie Evans – First woman to compete in FIM World Championship Trials event. Top rider in Women’s World Cup Trials competition. Motorcycle stunt rider in over 200 movies and television programs.
Tom Heininger – Co-Founder of Webco performance equipment company. Promoter of motorcycling sport and business in 1950s, ’60s, ’70s. President of Motorcycle Industry Council in 1972.
Linton Kuchler – Executive Secretary of the AMA in the 1950s and 1960s. Following a stint with NASCAR, he was brought back to lead the AMA in the mid-1970s. Helped launch the creation of the American Motorcycle Heritage Foundation.
Del Kuhn – 1950 AMA National Enduro Champion. Three-time winner of the Greenhorn Enduro. Class A Enduro Pacific Coast Championship winner in 1948, ’50, ’51, ’52.
Jeremy McGrath – Brought to AMA Supercross a previously unseen level of showmanship. Seven AMA Supercross Championships, Two World Supercross Championships, One AMA Motocross Championship.
Scott Parker – Nine-time AMA Grand National Champion, all-time record 94 Grand National Championship race wins, including 55 AMA National Mile wins, 35 AMA Half-Mile wins. Three-time winner of AMA Pro Athlete of the Year.
Duke Pennell – Five-time AMA “Flagman of the Year”, worked for nearly five decades as a race track official starter.
Jay Springsteen – Three-time AMA Grand National Champion with over 40 National Championship flat track race wins.
Fred Toscani – The last Class A National Champion. Won 9 AMA National titles from 1933 to 1938.
Theresa Wallach – Motorcycle adventurer and author who founded Easy Motorcycle Riding Schools, Inc. and published a training manual of same name. First Vice President of Women’s International Motorcycle Association.
Bruce Walters – Midwestern dealer and event promoter who was largely responsible for the success of the AMA Sanctioned Peoria TT.
1981 United States Trophee des Nations and Motocross des Nations Team – Donnie Hansen, Danny LaPorte, Johnny O’Mara and Chuck Sun. This team swept the 250cc Trophee des Nations and the 500cc Motocross des Nations, beginning a 13-year period of domination by the United States of America teams. LaPorte and O’Mara are the first “double inductees” having been inducted on their individual performances in 2000, and now as part of these teams.
Each year, the Motorcycle Hall of Fame (www.ama-cycle.org/museum/halloffame/halloffame.asp) recognizes individuals who have made significant contributions to motorcycling, including those known for their contributions to road riding, off-road riding and all categories of racing, as well as those who have excelled in business, history, design and engineering.
“Introducing today’s generation of motorcyclists to the living and legendary heroes of our sport is a responsibility we take very seriously,” said Mark Mendell, chairman of the Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum. “It’s these talented men and women who helped build our industry into a vibrant community that encompasses millions of riders from every corner of America. Preserving their material history, stories and achievements is a very important part of our stewardship.”
The Class of 2003 will be inducted on Sunday, October 5, during ceremonies at the Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum, located on the campus of the American Motorcyclist Association in Pickerington, Ohio. Supported by families, industry peers, friends, past Motorcycle Hall of Fame inductees and media, the induction is an emotional celebration that brings together some of the most recognizable names in the world of motorcycling. Preceding the afternoon induction ceremony will be the Museum’s 2nd annual Concours d’Elegance, which drew over 100 juried entries in 2002 – including many of the machines that Motorcycle Hall of Fame members became forever linked with. For more information, see the induction process page (www.ama-cycle.org/museum/halloffame/induction.asp).
BEST OF SHOW TROPHY–Any minute now we’ll post the article on how this 40-pound monster was mad. Yes, we hammered it together here at the Bikernet Headquarters for the upcoming bike show competition at the Run For Breath in Charlotte.
Check out the article, but don’t miss the show, bands and party. Drop “Meanest” a line if you what to enter the Show competition: Sandy G, sandyg329@hotmail.com.
BIKERNET HERO?–Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
The medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic act and he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell her the news, he said, “Mary, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you’re being discharged because since you were able tojump in and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses.
The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”
Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry.”
–from Rev CarlR
EASYRIDERS REPLACED WITH BIG DOG–Houston, TX – (MCNW) Big Dog Motorcycles announced the name change of one of its top dealers. Easyriders of Houston has officially changed its name to Big Dog Motorcycles of Houston, making it the first Big Dog branded dealership.
Owners Bert and Debbie Williams and Lee Hayes said the name change was implemented to better highlight the dealership’s strength and be more descriptive of its business. “We have established ourselves as a top dealer for Big Dog Motorcycles, a company that has taken quantum leaps past other custom manufacturers. They lead the pack in production, performance, quality, reliability, and warranty programs and we have had great success selling their bikes. It is important our name reflects that,” said Bert Williams.
Lee Hayes said, “It made good sense to align our business with a company that has the same business philosophies as we do: Provide high quality bikes and great customer service.”
“The only thing that has changed is our sign. We are still the same dealership with same team, but with a new focus,” added Williams.
Nick Messer, president, Big Dog Motorcycles stated, “Ever since 1997, the first year they started selling our bikes, we have seen continuously growing sales, first rate customer service, and a facility that invites all types of motorcycle enthusiasts. We are excited with their decision to change and the fact that Bert, Debbie, and Lee have the flagship store.”
In addition to representing the dealership’s direction, the name change also illustrates Big Dog Motorcycles’ strategy in brand awareness and development. “While we promote our brand and bikes at rallies, dealer open houses, and through advertising and PR, a consumer seeing Big Dog Motorcycles as the primary name of their local dealership adds additional credibility and awareness,” Messer said.
NAKED MOTORCYCLIST CRASHES AFTER BEE STING–A naked motorcyclist wearing just a scarf, sunglasses and a pair of sandals crashed his bike after he was stung on the inner thigh by a bee.
The 36-year-old, who had been driving to the swimming area at a German nudist colony, lost control of the bike as he swatted the insect away.
He fell on to the road, but escaped with just a shoulder injury and minor cuts and bruises.
Police said they are considering pressing charges after the incident at Giessen in Hessen – as the man was not wearing a crash helmet.
–from A. Friedman
DEAL OF THE WEEK–A buddy owns this super clean late model Dyna. He’s interested in selling it, then have us build him a Bikernet custom. He’s the president of Bros Club and a man who takes extremely good care of his motorcycle. Contact him for info: Djcoates@uwib.com.
HORSE MAGAZINE–I write a column for HORSE about old times. Sometimes it’s stories about my sordid past, other times it’s stories from friends or riding partners. The bike above was built in the early ’70s by Bob T. He rode with me in those days and I’ll rundown the story of Bob’s first experience in the biker world and the tale of this motorcycle. Hang on. It’s wild.
In fact, that’s a pad (below) I lived in around 1974. Bob’s there somewhere waiting for us to go riding.
HAMSTERS TAKE OVER STURGIS MOTORCYCLE MUSEUM–IF YOU DO NOT ALREADY KNOW, THE STURGIS MOTORCYCLE MUSEUM HAS DEDICATED A ROOM TO HAMSTERHISTORY, LORE, AND DISPLAYS OF HAMSTER MOTORCYCLES, AND MEMORIBILLIA.
BOB ILLINGWORTH AND PEPPER MASSEY-SWAN ARE SETTING UP THE DISPLAY, IT WILL BE OPEN FOR AT LEAST THREE YEARSFOR PUBLIC VIEWING YEAR ROUND.ANYONE INTERESTED PLEASE E-MAIL OR CONTACTBOB ILLINGWORTH LOBBYMC@YAHOO.COM ORPEPPER@STURGISMOTORCYCLEMUSEUM.ORG
IF NEED BE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME CHEFBOKOZAK@AOL
BO KOZAK
HAMSTERS USA
MINNEAPOLIS MINNESOTA
BEHIND DEADLINE–Yeah, I know. I’m in trouble. It’s one of those days. I planned a weekend ride to Idlewild, California, and it went all to shit. I screwed with the morning and jumped out of bed, just as she wanted back in. That messed with my “Wa” for the rest of the day.
Tomorrow I’ll ride the King while Sifu rides his ’62 Pan. Think I’ll have it dyno’d. The Bassani guys want me to test their dresser exhaust.
Saturday I’ll return to the rock pile in front of the headquarters. I’m building a fountain powered by a 1920 Harley engine. Hang on for shots of that. Maybe tonight I’ll make up for this mornin’. That will cure the day’s timing problem.
Have a helluva weekend.
–Bandit
New Tech Article On Bikernet – 6 to 12-Volt Conversion Page 1
The Trock Report
By Bandit |
This is what Ron sent me. Just got back from Orlando, Florida. EFI school (95 to 01).
The attached pic. is with my S2 Buell with a Trock CV. The airhorn is a S&S “D” mounted to a adapter I made. The adapter has the same taper as the airhorn. Which dictates the thickness of the adapter bracket.
With the Trock carb, airhorn. Last year it pulled 98 hp on the “Wheel”. I used 883 modified Tilley heads, S.E. Hi Perf. cams, and Buell Thunderstorm pistons (10.3 C/R). My goal was 100 H.P. I came real close.
With a Trock 45mm CV, S.E. 1.900 Dia. intake valves and bumping the C/R up to 11-to-1 I’ll be there. Need to work more on the heads. Will be using Wiseco domed forged piston’s this time around also.
TROCKERIZING THE CVH CARBURETOR
By Ron Trock
The stock CVH carburetor as used on the late model Harleys is a simple and straightforward design, yet sophisticated in its manufacture. The vacuum operated slide will give the engine a uniform delivery of fuel/air mixture over a broad range of RPM and altitude.
Unfortunately some features of the carb had to be compromised to satisty EPA and DOT mandates.
At Trock Cycle no bells,whistles and/or snake oil are installed. Any maintenance components can be serviced by any qualified H-D shop worldwide. We strive for drivability and far better than stock performance with good gas mileage and dependability at an affordable price.
Boring the carb body to 41mm and matching the slide contour increases the potential flow by 8 to 10 CFM at wide open throttle. A smooth bore condition is created while maintaining laminar air flow through the venturi. This modification will satisfy a 90 to 100 cubic inch engine. If more is needed, as with some of the aftermarket engines, we can rework to a 44mm carburetor as well, or some customers install two carbs on a common manifold.
Upon reassembly we alter the jetting and accelerator pump as per customer needs. This is an advantage we have over O.E.M. We know what engine and bike, cams, compression, etc. and riding conditions the customer enjoys. Drivability is what we give our customer. Each carb is made to fit.
We provide this service to H-D dealers and any qualified independent shops as well as individuals with custom applications, such as Buells, road racing, flat track, trike, sidecar, superchargers, etc.
At Trock Cycle we have found that the CVH Carburetor [stock or 44mm] is a great retrofit on all the pre-Evolution Harleys as well. We have replaced all models/brands of the O.E.M. carbs as they wear out and become troublesome and many of the aftermarket carbs because they are difficult to tune and have a tendency to run too rich.
If the oil tank smells of gasoline there’s a problem. Cost is another factor. How many good carbs can be found at a swap meet, priced right. Our retrofit manifold adaptor/bracket kit makes this conversion very easy.
Note the fitting plate for the choke knob. This allows the carb to be mounted on any bike without hunting for a place to run the choke, besides it’s clean and out of the way.
In the near future we will show how to use Trock’s CV inlet tool for replacing the fragil, leaky inlet spout.
Trock Cycle Specialties,
Hampshire, Illinois 60140
Ph: (847) 683-4010.
May 29, 2003 Part 4
By Bandit |
Continued From Page 3
Old shot from Bob T.
THE BIKERNET OZARK REPORT–I sent Ozark Ed an e-mail during the tornado outburst in Oklahoma, to see if he was still alive and had some beer–Bandit.
We’re ok but shit happened all around us. It’s normal stuff out here. Things have been kinda quiet. Skits is coming around again but he’s still up the girls ass most of the time. He still hasn’t got his bike on the road, so he’s missing all the riding. Bald head Pete and me have been doing the tit bar tour. Last Saturday we went to this bar on the river, and I saw one of the guys I rode to Sturgis with last year. He’s already working on me to go.
Tall Randy came over Friday. He bought a one-wheel trailer to pull behind his big old bagger. We are going on our 9th year-in-a-row mountain ride/campout, in two weeks, and he’s toting the beer in the new trailer. That’s always been a problem because the area where muster in is dry and you have to haul your own libations. It’s difficult to tote beer and ice on a bike, when you got all your camping gear tied on. We have been taking beer then stopping about 10 miles from first nights camp and buying a bunch of ice then making a beer pile on the ground. It’s never makes it till morning. The next days beer is hot and we just suffer. This trailer deal will be the shit. Paw Paw, Toothless Rick, Pete, Mark, KC, and Frank are all going for sure. Several others might go, but they aren’t sure yet. I’m really looking forward to this because most of the guys live in different places, and we rarely all get together at one time.
Five years in a row we have been jacked by the skinny little ranger, who thinks the whole damn national forest is his. So we’re a little loud. So it’s a little late. we’re out in the middle of nowhere, and the only person we bother is him. He lives about five miles from where we camp, but we’re in a deep valley and the sound carries for a long way. Paw Paw has a habit of “checking his battery” periodically through the night. That usually gets him out for the first warning. We know that on the third warning he’s getting a little cranky, so we crash and try to get a little rest for the next day’s ride. We usually cover 3 or 4 hundred miles of mountains before we get to the little party town where the clubs are. It’s a beautiful ride. We leave on Friday, come home Sunday. I’ll report on the trip on Monday, If I remember. I’ll take the digital camera and send some photos. Plan on coming next year.
–Ozark Ed
RIVERA HYDRAULIC CLUTCH–Smooth, effortless hand operation with race winningcontrol for ALL 5-speed Big-Twin transmissions
Mechanical brakes were discontinued by American H-D in 1958 (rear wheel at least) with the introduction of the swingarm frame. The advantages of using hydraulics for clutch & brake actuation are common knowledge. Why continue using the archaic OEM cable activated clutch when a quality, high performance alternative is available?
Rivera Engineering’s billet aluminum transmission end-cover converts any 5-speed mechanical clutch to smooth hydraulic function. Adjust the clutch once and forget it! No more cable to stretch, break or require continuous adjustments.
Hand effort at the clutch lever is also reduced. Manufactured in the U.S.A. from 356 T6 billet aluminum, this hydraulic clutch unit comes completely assembled with a precision fitted piston & seal. Available show polished or show chromed. For use with Jay Brake (9/16-in. bore size) or other brands, same size handlebar mounted master cylinders.
COMMAND POSTS SET UP TO RESTRICT THUNDER IN THE CANYON–It was the Creek County Sheriff’s Office in Oklahoma (Near Tulsa), against a motorcycle rally in Mannford, OK called “The Thunder in theCanyon.” It started in the Tulsa World Newspaper when the Chief Deputy, MikeO’Keefe, called all the bikers that were planning on going to the rally”outlaw bikers” and vowed to establish a “command post” and “24 hoursurveillance” of the rally.
In the week before the rally he gathered up abunch of residents in Mannford and took them to a pheasant dinner and showedthem videos of car bombings, homicide scenes. rape victims, shootings,stabbings, horrible explosions of homes and buildings, etc., etc. He toldthe residents that they should expect what they were seeing in the videos ifthe rally were allowed to happen.
When the rally day came around he set up a roadblock and started stoppingall the bikes in the area. It was a mess. A nasty discombobulated mess. Now,my site makes fun of the whole sorted mess and a run on the County Seat,Sapulpa, is in the works.
–Johnny O
LA CALENDAR UPDATE–Things are kicking into high gear for the annual Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show weekend scheduled for July 19-20th at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA, is held right on the edge of the beautiful Pacific Ocean overlooking Long Beach Harbor. Sponsored by Iron Works magazine, Performance Machine, Corona Beer, Bikernet.com, The Los Angeles Times/Recycler /Cycle Buys, AutoTrader.com Publications, the FastDates.com Calendars and Speed Channel’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets. Always the 3rd weekend of July, the 12th Annual Show is scheduled for Saturday July 19th and Sunday July 20th, 2003, and is expected to draw some 20,000 motorcycle enthusiasts.
Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show and all the available weekend activities, hotels and improved parking online at www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM.
HANDLING PROBLEMS?–A buddy of mine, Will Phillips, has created a product designed to prevent rear-end walking on dressers. TRUETRACK (TRUE-TRACK.com, June 2003), is a device to keep Dresser swingarm pivots (rubbermounts) anchored in the chassis. They stop REARSTEER and chassis flexing.
MYSTERY MOTORCYCLE–I heard a rumble about a new Harley model. Have you heard anything on the LOTR? I’m guessing it’s a Low Rider Touring Bike but I’m probably way off base.
Believe it or not, it’s a Lord of the Rings Harley Chopper.Guess my editor was testing me…the asshole! It only took me 10 minutes of research to find it. I’m getting old and slow I guess.
–TBear
NEW AMERICAN RIDER HITS THE STANDS–It’s the August 2003 issue and hosts all new S&S, 145-inch customs, the Blacked-out King and a Big Dog/Bull Dog road test featuring our own Brenda Fox. Whatta babe. Check it out. We’re trying to improve this mag. Send me your thoughts: Bandit@bikernet.com. Enjoy.
I’M LOST–It’s one of those days that all builders experience. There’s a fog hanging over the harbor. The sun is attempting to break through, so there’s heavy humidity hanging in the air. I have five projects in the works, but each one is waiting on chrome, powder, paint or some goddamn thing. Even that damn trophy (above), I’m building for the Run For Breath is waiting the plaque from the engraver.
There’s not much happening this weekend and I’m looking forward to the peace, but I’ll go crazy after sitting on my ass for five minutes.
I need some action. We have a vast array of Bikernet material in a holding pattern waiting for the Digital Gangster to surface. We received a cryptic note an hour ago indicating that he might return from the dead.
I have a lingering sense that I need to ride this weekend. I could find Sin’s new apartment and see if I can bust her with May Ling or Coral. That would spice up the weekend. Then I’ll snort bad air into the desert and leave the city behind. I need to post a couple of shots of the King. It’s looking sharp, and would look even cleaner with sand dunes and cactus off in the background. Let’s ride.
–Bandit
Check Out The New Fiction — Page 1
New Tech Article By TBear Page 1
May 29, 2003 Part 3
By Bandit |
Continued From Page 2
Custom Chrome ? and Chrome Specialties ??have joined forces to bring you the most comprehensive product offering in the Harley-Davidson ? aftermarket! At over 1,400 pages and over 25,000 part numbers, our 2003 Catalog features everything from nuts & bolts to HR3 bike kits, and sets the NEW industry standard. ?
?ONLY $9.95 + 6.95 Shipping**
Once you find the part you need, go in to Chrome Specialties down below and order online! It’s that simple.?
BIKERNET SURVEY–CHROME SCRATCHES–A reader recently wrote in concerning feather scratches in his chrome. Let us know what your solutions are?Here’s his latest, “I called Maguiars this morning and bought their “#28 All Metal Polish”. They said I will be surprise after using their products”, and if I’m not satisfied, I will get full refund. They also agree with me not use the machine buffing (buffing will be the last resource) because it will reduce the coating on the metal or on the paint. Buffing by hand is the best way to go. So, stay tune.”
BIKERNET CODE OF THE WEEK– “A person’s true character is revealed by what he does when no one is watching.”
–from Chris T.
CONVERTING A 6-VOLT SYSTEM TO 12–We recently turned a ’62 Panhead from 6 to 12-volts. All the parts were ordered out of the new Custom Chrome catalog. Here’s a quote from the owner:
“I didn’t want to stop so I kept riding to the 105 frwy, and then turnedaround for home. The ride is the best since the first day I rode it.Thanks a million.”
Aloha, RSB
www.IMBACADEMY.com
We hope to feature this 30-year-old custom in American Rider or Horse soon. It’s not often that old school is original. This bike is a classic.
BUICK HAS GONE OVER THE EDGE–Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drove his new Buick Rendezvous into an Irish gas station.An attendant greeted him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro was……”Top of the mornin’ to ya”.
As Tiger got out of the car, two tees fell out of his pocket.
“So what are those son?” asked the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replied Tiger.
“And what would ya be usin’ ’em for, now?” inquired the Irishman.
“Well, they’re for resting my balls on when I drive.” replied Tiger.
“AW, Jaysus, Mary an’ Joseph!” exclaimed the Irish attendant. “Those fellas at Buick think of everything!”
–from Chris T.
MOTORCYCLE HISTORY FROM BUCK–I noticed the California motorbike piece, did you know the first person to cross the transcontinental United States using a self propelled vehicle was motorcycle rider on a California motorbike. He didn’t get credit for this feat until 1979 when Rider Magazine republished the original story first published in 1903 Motorcyclist Magazine. He rode on the railroad ties following rail road route all the way to NY. I have a copy of that August 1979 Rider Magazine story with the photos they used (shitty pics).
Originally, a Dentist driving a four wheeled vehicle was given credit for the first crossing of the US in a self propelled vehicle, that information has been corrected.
–Buck
Rivera Engineering
THE NINE IMPORTANT MEN IN A WOMAN’S LIFE–
1. THE DOCTOR: because he says, “Take your clothes off.”
2. THE DENTIST: because he says, “Open wide.”
3. THE HAIRDRESSER: because he says, “Do you want it teased or blown?”
4. THE MILKMAN: because he says, “Do you want it in the front or the back?”
5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR: because he says, “Once it’s in, you’ll love it!”
6. THE STOCK BROKER: because he says, “It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while, and then slowly fall back again.”
7. THE BANKER: because he says, “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.
8. THE HUNTER: because he goes deep in the bush, shoots twice, and always eats what he shoots.
9. THE TELEPHONE GUY: because he says, “Would you like it on the table or up against the wall?
–from Chris T.
THE TOURING CHOPPER LIVES–I found this guy on the web. He also happens to be linked thru bikernet,www.stainlessmotorcycles.com Bill Shirtcliff. I worked with him off and onfor 9-10 months. I asked him to make a scale model, he said his work wasonly sculpture. This is his best work to date.
He sent pictures and Iwouldcomment and he made adjustments. There is no detail left out. It’sabout 7-8″ long. He had never made a spoke wheel before. the detail andsymmetry is unbelievable. If you look very closely at the neck the WCCbadgeis there.
It looks 10 times cooler in person. This is a truly one off deal.
I am getting kind of tired of people coming up to me and saying “I knowwho’s bike this is”. So I resigned to the fact that since I had nothing todo with its creation I am really just riding it for the time. >
–Garth
BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
He asks “What for?”
She says “I want to kill my husband”.
He says “Sorry, I can’t do that.”
She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out a photo of her husband inbed with the pharmacist’s wife and hands it to him.
He looks at it and says, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription!”
–from Chris T.
Continued On Page 4
May 29, 2003 Part 2
By Bandit |
Continued From Page 1
ROLLA FATTY APPAREL– ROLLAFATTY apparel just released (ROLLAFATTY.COM, June 2003). Screen printed shirts, embroidered Flexfit hats and knit caps.
–Wil
(818) 445 6204
BIKERNET READER PRODUCT SUGGESTION–S&S “Intellegent ignition system” with a knock sensor and heat sensorsautomatically adjusts timing for Twin Cam and Evo.
–David Pascaralla
BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE–An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling and the 86-year-old says, “I’ve never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”
The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. “I have an 85 year old friend, much like yourself, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went ‘bang, bang’. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?”
The 86-year-old said, “I’d say somebody else pumped the bullets into that beaver.”
The doctor replied . . “My point exactly.”
–from Rev CarlR
SUPER MAX HAS BEEN IN THE BELT DRIVE BUSINESS FOR 30 YEARS. WE TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN OUR PRODUCTS AND THEIR DURABUILITY– OUR PARTS COST MORE BUT THEY ARE WORTH IT. OUR MOTTO; “BUY YOUR LAST BELT DRIVE FIRST.”
IF YOU WISH TO DISCUSS YOUR INSTALLATION, CALL ME PERSONALLY..PHIL ROSS. OWNER/FOUNDER 661-548-6000 10 TO 5 PACIFIC TIME.
My hotmail mail box is too small. Please change our email address to — Phil Ross, SMP DISCOVERY FINALLY RECOGNIZES HAMSTERS–Finally the long awaited Hamsters show! Turn on your sets and pop the popcorn! The Hamsters/Arlen TV special will air June 1st on Discovery at 8:00 or 9:00 pm, check your local listings. I’m told that if it pulls good ratings they will do another! Happy Viewing! –Patty NEW PRODUCT OF THE WEEK–Make a tool box out of yer fridge.http://www.toocoolkits.com/Front-Page.htm –from RFR BIKERNET RULES OF LIFE–Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of life really are. 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind. and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape. 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.” 4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm. 6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: “Go! You might meet somebody!” 7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her – believe them. 8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?’ 9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 12. Work is good, but it’s not that important. 13. And finally; Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. –from Bob T.
BEACH RIDE BIKE–The Beach Ride is Kickin’ for the Exceptional Children’s Foundation again this year for the 11 annual ride and concert at the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California. Bikernet is a sponsor and we are building a Beach Ride Bike to help promote the September 7th, one-day blow-out. Don’t miss it.
Contact me if you want to enter a bike in the show. We plan to feature a major builder and hope to have some fine antique bikes from the Chris Bunch and Dave Hansen collection.This is just an image of the Custom Chrome Goliath bike-inna-box kit we are building with a Bandit touch. The bike will be for sale at the event. Watch it come together right here on Bikernet and in American Rider.
Continued On Page 3
May 29, 2003 Part 1
By Bandit |
I’m trying to get a handle on the day. We’ve just kicked off a project bike in the middle of finishing a ’62 Pan 6 to 12-Volt conversion, the Shrunken FXR, the King and a Run For Breath show trophy sculpture. Most of the above will be covered in the news.
We shipped some of the parts off to Custom Powder Coating in Dallas today and the sheet metal was hauled to Sandini’s for paint. We’re turnin’ into a bike shop. That’s cool but where’s the whiskey and women. I need a break. Let’s hit the news:
RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–Just got back from the Run to the Wall in Washington D.C. I am still drying out! Last Thursday I had planned to ride to my brother Gary’s place in Virginia. Well, Thursday morning it was raining, like pouring piss out of a boot. I reluctantly loaded my bike in a downpour and headed to Va.
I arrived that afternoon and it was still raining, it continued until Saturday. We finally got to ride some Saturday afternoon with Gary and my old riding partner Mike J. Mike showed me the ropes way back when I first got into bikes. He is a stand up guy. We headed off to Waugh Harley-Davidson in Orange Va. They are good people. The first H-D I ever bought, a ’79 Sportster came from Waugh’s place.
A little info on how I got that bike: I filled out the credit application and it didn’t go through for one reason or another, age, no prior credit etc. I was really disappointed when they called and told me that I had been turned down. Later on I got a call from Mr. Waugh (Hoss as he is known) saying not to worry. He told me to come by the shop. When I arrived he said he trusted me and he would co-sign the loan. I was blown away. I never let him down and bought three other Harleys from him. Like I said they are good people!
Well back on track now, we left the shop and visited another of my old riding partners, Neal. Neal has always been too kool for school and he is one of the best horse traders I know, iron horses that is. We hung out and talked about old times, then headed back to Gary’s. We watched the weather channel every hour and it predicted 77 degrees and partly cloudy, yeah right!
That night Stacey and Marlon called and said they would meet us Sunday morning. I hadn’t seen Stacey in at least 15 years! Marlon and Stacey are long time riders and great guys to be around. Finally, 6 a.m. Sunday morning arrived and we walked out into a cloudy damp dark sky. Remember the forcast??? We met everyone for breakfast and on the way out the skies opened up, big time. There was some discussion as to whether or not to continue. Everyone looked at each other and without saying another word everyone knew the answer was “Hell no” we are going to ride. I think it had to do with all of us having a chance to ride together again and for a very special reason. There is a special bond between true friends and riding brothers that time and distance can never erase.
On the way, in the rain, I thought about how the people whose names are engraved on that black wall who didn’t have a choice to fight that war. They fought if it rained, if it was cold or through whatever they were asked to face. They hit the line in all conditions, so while I was riding, I thought about how being in the rain and cold (55 degrees-that forecast again) was the least we could do to pay our respects and to say thank you for preserving our freedom. To all whose names are engraved upon the Vietnam wall and to all veterans of all our wars, we salute you and honor you. Overall my trip was a good one. I saw my family and some of my best riding brothers. It was well worth being wet all weekend and as “THE MEANEST” would say “If you ride long enough, you are going to get wet!”
–Mike Pullin
Mike Pullin is the Founder of the Run For Breath out of Charlotte H-D in North Carolina.
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HARLEY-DAVIDSON ANNOUNCES ?OPERATION MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?–H-D and Buell Extend Warranty Coverage for Deployed Military Personnel in Middle East
MILWAUKEE, WI (May 26, 2003) – Harley-Davidson Motor Company and Buell Motorcycle Company recently announced the implementation of ?Operation Mission Accomplished,? a plan to extend warranty coverage to military personnel recently deployed in support of operations in Afghanistan and Iraq.
?Everyone at Harley-Davidson and Buell recognizes the sacrifice made by men and women from the many nations involved in recent military efforts in the Middle East region,? said Steve Phillips, Vice President of Quality, Reliability and Technical Service. ?This program will acknowledge that effort by extending the warranty on Harley-Davidson and Buell motorcycles owned by those who have served and been unable to ride while they were on duty.?
The program will apply to owners of Harley-Davidson and Buell motorcycles who are coalition military personnel from any country deployed to an area controlled by CENTCOM, or deployed in support of coalition operations in the Middle East from November 1, 2001, until June 1, 2003. If their motorcycle is under warranty, Harley-Davidson and Buell will provide an extension of the 12-month factory warranty for the number of days they were deployed to account for the balance of the remaining warranty period. If the warranty on any of their Harley-Davidson or Buell motorcycles expired while they were deployed in the designated areas, Harley-Davidson will offer additional warranty coverage for a period of time equal to the length of their deployment, but not to exceed the original 12 month factory warranty period.
Harley-Davidson and Buell owners who believe they are eligible for Operation Mission Accomplished should see their local dealer upon return from deployment for details on applying for the program.
FIRST ISLAND ALL-CHOPPERS SHOW–is drawing builders from all over the world. Billy Lane will be there from Florida. Jose from Puerto Rico is surfing in. Hell, I’m a bike judge for the show, so I better be there.
–Bandit
Continued On Page 2
Justin’s Trophy
By Bandit |
There’s a party weekend in Charlotte each year that culminates ina Sunday gathering and a grand bike show. The humid weekend escapewas created five years ago by Mike Pullin a member of the CharlotteH-D team, after his son, Justin, died of asthma complications whileMike was on a run.Mike discovered, that the American Lung Association createdcamps for educating asthma inflicted kids, parents and friends on howto deal with lung associated complications. With the correctinformation, used promptly at the proper time, kids can surviveasthma attacks readily and live long healthy lives. This crucialknowledge is critical for kids, so Mike kicked off this party weekendto support the learning camps and make a hearty donation to theAmerican Lung Association program. For two years Bandit was the proudgrand marshal of this event, “Bikernet will support and sponsor thisweekend for as long as Mike’s involved,” Bandit said recently after athree-day drunk.This year Bandit couldn’t attend, but got a call from Mike’sbetter half, Meanest, who also works at the dealership. “Bandit,” Shesaid in distinctive southern slippery words that slid through thereceiver and lingered on his ear lobe, like butter running off astack of pancakes, “honey, since you can’t make it to the event, Iwould sure appreciate it if you would make us a special trophy forthe Best of Show Class.”
Could Bandit turn her down? There’s no way he could musterthe heartless nature to deny this woman and or the event that meansso much to this bikin’ community. Besides, he had recently purchaseda new Millermatic 175 MIG welder and needed the practice.
“Of course, baby,” he said into the phone to her glee. He pondereda variety of Rube Goldberg art objects, turned trophies at lastyear’s HORSE Smoke-Out. Hackasaw welded various motorcycle partstogether, then chromed the H-D part number trophies and presentedthem to Edge, the show promoter. The winners were dazzled by thecreative nature and the deft construction and welding abilities.
Bandit was challenged. Could he weld a myriad of ring gears,clutch hubs and connecting rods together to create a 50 pound tributeto the Best Of Show Bike? He was perplexed. He brought up his pappy,a big surly bastard who ran a machine shop for a nationwide oil welltesting company. The man welded oil derricks together, if needed,during his 40-years in the oil fields. His law of welding was, “Neverlose the bead,” he grumbled and reveled in vast deep burn wounds,”even if you catch fire. Just keep welding, someone will put youout.” Bandit watched him, as a kid, arc weld with bare hands, theslag sizzling on the back of his scarred paws. He wouldn’t flinchuntil the job was done. “Boot tough and rattlesnake mean,” DavidMann, the artist, said about Bandit’s dad.
The old man made some of the finest metal art sculpturesI’ve ever had the privilege of viewing. He handled iron like asculptor molds clay. With his artistic tradition in mind Bandit wentto work. He’s been welding for 30 years, off and on. Back in the 70she made towel racks with worn out chains. Door knobs were brazedtranny gears and cam shafts. There were motorcycle kitchen utensilsthat never wore out.
He scratched his thinning hair and faced the project athand. Bad Brad, who stops by the headquarters from time to time,delivered chunks of iron and steel. Bandit planned a new steel-basedfence for the headquarters made out of angle iron, solid steelspikes, corrugated steel sheets and old bike wheels . We’ll report onthat later. The ILWU Union man recently brought dropped off a 6-footlength of 6-inch diameter, scrap steel tubing. It was Bandit’sinspiration. He decided to form the leather jacketed arm of a manholding a wheel for the world to see.
We started the project by cutting the steel tubing with areciprocating saw then split it down the middle with a cutting torch.Bandit dug out his HA leather shirt and studied the cuff and cut ofthe forearm. He needed heat like a blacksmith. He cut a wedge out ofthe tubing with the torch then created a stand for his rose bud tip,which you can see in the back of some of these shots. With thatblasting away and a set of vice grips firmly clamped to the tubing hebegan pounding the red hot mild steel until he blacksmithed thedesired shape. Another portion of the rusty tubing was used for thebuttoned placket.
Here’s the beginning of the segment-built base and a mild-steelring Bandit decided to use for the wheel rim. He has a dozen of theserings, that he’s carried and moved from place to place for 20 years.It’s about time he found a use for them.
While hunting through a metal supply joint, Banditdiscovered pressed segments of steel scattered around the concretedeck under the hole-punch machine and hit up one of the workers. Thebiker/employee looked both ways and let Bandit bag a bunch of punchedout hole segments. You can order a sheet of steel with holespressed into it without drilling. Massive hole-punchers snap roundshapes out of the material with immense strength. Some were an inchthick. They’re like thick, mild steel, quarters, dimes and fifty-centpieces. He used them to form the trophy base, then welded themtogether with the Miller MIG welder. He also used various sizedsegments to form the initial shape of the hand. After the base forthe palm was welded together, he began to fill and shape the musclesof the hand with beads of weld. He made the wrist long enough toprotrude deep into the sleeve or be adjusted to fit.
The process continued from weekend to weekend. The Bikernetschedule is hectic and a stack of articles, to be written edited andprepared for posting, grew. If Bandit was missing from his desk, weimmediately checked to see if sparks were flying in the garage. Inthe old days he found time behind a doobie to lose himself in theflame of a cutting torch. “It was actually a good feeling todisappear in the quiet cubicle of steel and wail away,” Banditmumbled. One afternoon he snuck out of the headquarters and dugthrough drawers to find just the right hub-nut for the trophy wheel.He bought some 1/8-inch diameter brazing rod for spokes and went towork building the wheel. The rods are labeled bronze, yet to Banditthey’re brass. With the wheel set aside and the sleeve MIG welded tothe base, the hand was the difficult sculpture’s task ahead.
Bandit attempted to carve out an afternoon for Trophy progress. ASaturday afternoon availed itself and he hauled ass to the garage,but as he snapped on the Miller MIG his weld sputtered unnaturally.He double-checked the setting on the dinky 50-pound tank filled withArgon and Carbon Dioxide (75%-25%). It was next to empty. Two morebeads and welding was shut down for the rest of the day.
The headquarters went into red alert for an Argon refill. It wasafter noon on a Saturday–welding supply joints were closed… Therewas hell to pay until Monday.
With a new gas supply torqued into place, he went after thehand like Frankenstein forming the monster. He welded long flowingbeads, then yanked off his welding glove to inspect the lines andcurves of his right hand. Back and forth he poured long beads of mildsteel in patterns to mirror a fortune teller’s image of his palm.With a satisfactory underside region “in hand”, he turned the10-pound claw over and began to work the wrist area. Then it dawnedon the big bastard, “I better bend this sonuvabitch,” Bandit growled,”before I started forming the back of the hand and knuckles.”
The tough part was bending the hand. Some of the elementswere almost 1-inch thick. Bandit used vice-grips and chunks of pipeshoved over the massive fingers to pull the palm into shape, whilepouring on the flames for heat. He yanked, snarled, lurched and beatit with a ballpeen hammer. He broke digits off and had to re-weldthem, but with the garage fuming with steaming sweat and the heat ofred hot chunks of steel and torches ablaze, it began to take shape.
Finally, Bandit started to fill in the back of the handand build the knuckles. MIG welding is like working in a pitchblack tunnel. You can’t see shit until you strike an arc. Then youcan only view about a 1/4-inch radius circle from where the wire isfeeding. You can slow your progress, or weave in the same area, butwhile you’re trying to find your bearing or direction, you’rebuilding a puddle of molten, red-hot metal. Your mind must fixate onthe position of the wire and give guidance immediately to your hand,as the wire feed won’t stop and allow you to check out thesituation. The more he worked with the excellent MIG machine, themore he adjusted his sight to see ahead and understand the form orshape he was searching for.
The monster’s hand took form and he studied every element forneeded filling and shaping. The wheel actually slipped between thethumb and forefinger effortlessly and seemed to fit snugly, as if themonster had come to life and knew its mission was to clutch theultimate symbol of motorcycling forever more. The wrist fit neatly inthe sleeve and Bandit welded it into an everlasting position and thenwelded the wheel.
Bandit was fortunate to have several true, trained artist, who arelife long friends, and are only to happy to tell him when his designis shit. Nuttboy, who teaches art at several colleges and ChrisKallas, a biker artist who’s work is for sale in the Bikernet gulch,risked their lives to stick their heads in our garage from time totime. Nuttboy told Bandit to go wild with the buttons he planned forthe lapel of the sleeve. He pondered polished brass nuts, but whileworking on the King, discovered a couple of chromed license plateskulls with 1/4-20 studs on the back. He drilled and taped the holes.The skulls fit neatly into place. It was beginning to take shape.
Bandit contacted “Meanest” and requested the exact wording, sheneeded engraved into the trophy for the Best of Show recipient. Shedictated each word to him, in no uncertain terms. May Ling, the newgirl, feverishly hauled ass to the San Pedro trophy barn where sheordered a brushed brass plate engraved in black. It took the trophybastard longer to computer-engrave a 2-inch piece of brass than ittook Bandit to hand make the goddamn trophy.
Bandit asked his artist friends for finish input. He had chromecredit and considered show chrome. Chrome has strange effects onvarious objects. It reflects the world, which works for custom parts,but often not on sculptures. Nuttboy again stepped up to the plate,since Chris sensed an evil spirit in Bandit’s seaweed green eyes,each time he lit the torch. Nuttboy suggested Bandit leave thecorrosion-covered sleeve alone and bead-blast or wire brush the handand base to give those areas a variety of treatments. Bandit sortatook his Ph.D. advice. He polished the wheel and spokes, thenwire-brushed the hand and the base.
When it came to the sleeve, he learned something about MIGwelding. There are anti-splatter sprays to prevent slag from stickingto the welded surface and to the MIG tip. He hadn’t experienced thistreatment, so the trophy was scattered with small beads of weld. Hecouldn’t leave the steel leather sleeve alone. He wire brushed it,but only to remove the slag. The rusty hue and the varied corrodedpits remained.
Finally he dug through the garage box of spray cans for a heavyclear coat. He discovered Rust-oleum gloss, metal clear and dousedthe trophy. After it dried he peeled the skin off the double sidedtape, on the back of the engraved brass plaque, and stuck it againstthe welded billboard. Done deal.
Two more tasks await. Sin Wu will find a thick felt lining to beglued to the bottom to prevent the 40-pound trophy for cutting thesurface of furniture. The lovely one also suggested a light droppedin the depths of the sleeve, so he will drill a hole in the back foran extension cord. We’ll post another shot of it glowing. Hang on.
For information regarding the July 27th Run For Breath, contactMeanest or Mike Pullin at Harley-Davidson of Charlotte, (704)847-4647. Don’t forget to compete for this trophy by entering yourbike. Make sure you have a back-up truck to haul the trophy.
–Wrench