To tell the truth, I didn't plan to attend to Biketoberfest. My to-do paint list was over the moon. Yet looking back, it was all worth it. I had no idea of the nutty time awaiting me. The initial plan was simple, go to the Corbin party, maybe hang out with Jose and Frank, and go to The Horse BC Bike Show. I'd take a few pictures, talk to a few people — nothin' much at all.

It all started Wednesday night. The Iron Horse wasn't packed. Easy to walk around, I didn't see anyone I knew. I split. I stopped back at my campsite and spotted a loose seat fastener. I didn't have another bolt and the chances of finding the right size, fine thread, at midnight, were nil.

Miraculously, the only bolts looked to be the correct size and thread, but a little on the long side. I grabbed up a bolt and all the washers I could find. By the light of my mini-maglite, I adjusted the amount of washers to make the bolt the correct length and screwed that sucker in. I was good to go! So I rode over the causeway to Lollipops to see who was hanging out. Everyone goes there. Nearly every mover, shaker and faker in the custom m/c industry was on hand Wednesday night. “I'll see ya at Lollypops,” must be the thing most often whispered after 11:00 p.m. Even outside, the place was jammed with new arrivals and folks, who couldn't handle the heat, leaving. Inside I squeezed no farther than the pool tables, next to the door.

Jose was there, along with Ramon, Generro, and the Chicago Greaser, with his gorgeous wife Artimesa. It was a severely twisted evening. We hung at the bar by the pool tables, watching the parade. It's a freak show, that's for sure, and the night drooled a freaky ooze by 1:00 a.m. This one chick, who thought she looked like Demi Moore (that is, if Demi never exercised, ate speed, and chain-smoked for 25 years), was really showing her ass. Good god, I thought Ramon was going puke right there. Then she challenged him to the green felt mambo. He gracefully declined, but I helped him resist the urge to whack her in the head with a pool cue. All too soon, it was closing time.

Outside the night air was just cool enough to be invigorating. The crescent moon blessed the sky in a soothing glow. It was so bright the landscape had an almost daylight shadow. Riding along the Intercoastal, the moon's reflection dancing across the water and was another treasure to experience. Meanwhile back at my campsite, at The Ranch, it was a battle of wits between the dog, who was determined to sneak out the gate, and me, who was desperate to keep him in the yard. Each night I won, but each night became more of a challenge.

Choppers were everywhere. The bike scene shifted dramatically in the past few years. Anyone who wasn't on a chopper, wanted one. Every major manufacturer had choppers as part of their display. Is it possible to get sick of choppers? The clones are over running each other. The stretched bike scene, beat to death, hasn't phased the masses. They just keep buying 'em up. Beach Street displays were full of polished line-ups of clone bikes, each one a little different from the rest.

I also didn't see a single gooseneck chop.

There is room to be different, that is, if you looked south of Daytona to Horsetoberfest headquarters. Or to the east, the Far East. The Chica and Zero Engineering style of custom choppers are still undiscovered territory as far as the general public is concerned.

Which brings me to this question, what happened to all those billet barges of the late 1990s? Were they torn down and turned into choppers? Could be cos I didn't see even one among the thousands of bikes in Daytona. Well, choppers are more fun anyway.

We weren't flopping through the Streets of Daytona to enjoy ourselves. We were there to work or find work. And very hard work it was battling at the buffet bar at Corbin's yearly party. Frank Kaisler took the shrimp bowl and hid out in the corner. Hot feminine bods in tight dresses offered up trays of chocolate covered strawberries while magazine and corporate honchos duked it out at the open bar. Total decadence, all while Goth Girl played her own brand of gothical music on a grand piano. Hammer, editor of The Horse, and his gorgeous girlfriend Priscilla quietly ducked in, grabbed a bite and left. This infuriated Goth and she ordered me to leave strange and cryptic messages on his voice mail. Seeing as how Mike Corbin's Daytona building is up for sale; this may have been the last party at his place.

Toward the end of the evening, Goth announced she had written a song just for Mike. We all eagerly gathered around the stage and waited as Goth unexpectedly broke into “Happy Birthday To You.” Mike's birthday was later that week. Goth introduced me to her friend, Wall of Death rider Sam Morgan, who rides with the American Motordrome Company. You can meet Sam and see much of the history of The Wall and its riders on her site www.motordrome.org. After the party, we wandered over to Froggy's, where we ran into Howard Kelly and trouble. Howard is editor of Hot Bike magazine but he wasn't the trouble.

The trouble started over a freezer. Sam and I were wearing tall shoes and we needed a seat. We made a grab for the freezer lid after the tallest, biggest chick at Biketoberfest got off of it. It was roomy enough for both Sam and me. Unfortunately Bertha wasn't done with it. Now Sam has ridden the Wall for over 20 years, fallen 16 ft, had bikes fall on top of her. Some 6'7″ tall, 225 lb woman wasn't gonna scare her. Next thing I know, tall chick is off to the side kinda snarling at us. She angrily chewed the straw on her drink as she wandered away. Meanwhile Howard Kelly offered up stinging observations on the fashion parade that was passing by. Chunky chicks in low cut jeans with G-strings showing got a big thumbs down. Goth and Sam had played a game clipping something on an unsuspecting victims. All night, Goth had been trying to get Howard and he kept busting her. Later, I picked up the clip and snagged it on the back of his shirt. He didn't have a clue. I even snapped a few pictures.

Goth came to our rescue with her scathing wit (which usually flies right over the head of the intended victim), “Hey, so I see that height thing never worked out for you.”

It was the only time I spent on Main Street. Places like the Broken Spoke, Iron Horse, LastResort and other out of town hangouts are getting busier as people tire of the impossible crowds on Main St. You can see weird people everywhere and the really cool bikes, don't even bother coming downtown.

The Last Resort was a cool bike central with The HORSE magazine set up there. And there's no dust storm. The place is paved so your bike won't get buried in dirt. Trees stretch over the area, offering lots of shade. There was plenty of food, drink booths and vendors. The cops blocked off a lane of Rte 1 just for bikes. It made coming and going much easier and traffic was no problem. Al, the owner was out there himself, flagging bikes in. The HORSE has found a new home for Daytona. It's so perfect, that we will be throwing a Chopper Show in March at Bike Week.

Friday provided another day of incredible weather. The crowds packed Beach St. and Main St. I hooked up with my buddy Jennifer Smathers and a few friends. Jennifer rides this wicked RedNeck Enginuity custom chopper. We took the back roads through Tomaka State Park and rode through the jungle up to the Snack Shack on Flagler Beach. At one point the road follows along curves and twists of a canal, and if some dead-above-the-neck driver, isn't blocking the way, it is one of the best road rides in the Daytona area.

I stopped back by The Ranch, where two other campsites were set-up and a small happy party was rolling along under the enormous sweeping Japanese Plum tree garden. Unless you're a beer expert or from Pittsburgh, you've probably never heard of Iron City Beer. But in Pittsburgh, it's not just a beer, it's a way of life, right up there with the Steelers. Iron City threw a contest this year and one lucky Steelers/Iron City fan received the privilege of having his/hers picture on cans of Iron City Brew. The honor went to a regular camper here at The Ranch, our very own LapDog. He posed along with his bike, which he doctored with a Steelers themed paint job, of course.

As darkness fell, I rode up to The Broken Spoke, where a sweet young thing was eagerly twitching as a smiling artist airbrushed her bod. Quite a crowd had gathered to watch, and many missed seeing the arrival of Goth Girl, Sam, and their bodyguard, Big Mike. Big Mike, from Germany, has an accent similar to Gov Arnold's. He had a wry sense of humor that made the night even more interesting.

“Oh no, keep dat gurl avay frum me. She's a bad gurl,” he said as this 6 ft brunette wrapped her legs around him and planted kisses all over his bald head..

Jay, the owner of The Broken Spoke, escorted us into his $1.5 million motorhome. That thing was fairly wondrous, mirrors everywhere, bar, inlaid lights in the floor that sparkle and change color, but for 1.5 mil, hell, the thing should drive itself and cook dinner. But I should note that is up for sale at a bargain $900,000. At that price, Bandit should get one for his lowly East Coast correspondents to buy it for Bikernet. The Broken Spoke was totally cool; Goth could freely stroll around. The Iron Horse was another story. A crushing crowd quickly gathered and she ducked behind The California Hell Riders motordrome. I had the pleasure of meeting brothers Don and Ian Danials and Don's fiancee, the very sweet Sandra D. They were all Sam's good pals. The wall riders are a small group and they all know one another. They're a friendly, good-hearted bunch, who are all quite passionate about their sport. I got to listen to them talk about their bikes. Antique Indians appear to be the bike of choice. Something about how the engine and transmission line up that makes it a smooth and very steady bike for riding horizontally. Replacement parts are almost impossible to get, and they make or rig up nearly everything they need to stay against the wall. They know the location of most Indian stash piles. Sam swears, if I rode an old Indian, it would become my first choice of bikes. An Indian expert, we met earlier, in the megalith motor home agreed. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to try out one of Sam's Indians before I left.

As Goth was busy stomping her disagreeable cell phone into the dirt, “I hate that phone, die phone, die!!!” She screamed. I took off for Lollipops. Most of the Horse staff was there, holding down the fort. Serious chopper talk went on as nearly naked women slithered across the floor.

I thoroughly relished another perfect evening ride. But the noise police weren't taking any chances. A very occupied patrol car sat discreetly at the entrance to the Seabreeze Causeway. I kept a light hand on the throttle. Riding in the night air over the bridge, seeing the brightly lit hotels along the beach, glittering in the distance, would do just fine.

Saturday afternoon I was on a quest to see if any cool bikes could be found within Daytona's city limits. I roamed the Dead Rat's Boardwalk Show, (I'll never forget that guy), when I was grabbed and forced to race go-carts with Click Baldwin and his wife Diane and daughter Chelsea. Diane was slamming the shit out of me, then I slammed her to hell, and then we both went after Click. He didn't have a chance.

I hooked up with Jennifer, and we blasted down to The Last Resort. The HORSE party was at full capacity. It was shoulder to shoulder as folks crammed in to view the 120 brutal choppers in the bike show. Billy Lane did the judging and he gave each bike a thorough going over. Good thing he wasn't judging the chicks walking around, he may have never recovered.

“Quick, get a picture of her!!!!!!” Jennifer cried. I thought I'd seen nearly everything. This was a real first and I hope, a last. There were guys posing with this woman even. It was the only thing that could have taken anyone's eyes off the wild bikes.

Then Melanie came on the scene and Jose had somewhere to put his hands. Melanie's sister, Nannette, gets her attention by calling, “Melanie! Camera!” If they are representative of the Hawaiian people, then it is one genuinely friendly place.

Actually most of the crowd at Horsetoberfest headquarters were very cool folks. It was one big, happy party where folks were bonded by their love of choppers.

The night progressed and Billy finally finished his judging and handed the winner his trophy. I didn't see exactly which bike won, but it had to be extreme because an extraordinary hardtail Crocker took 2nd Place.

Meanwhile after making a blistering getaway from Willie's Tropical Tattoo, Goth, Sam, and Mike arrived. Geno, who was disguised as a Colombian “Exporter” was carefully guarding a prototype oil tank. Goth snuck up behind him, attempting to nab the oil tank, but he was sharp as last year's razor and she was denied.

I ended up at Sam's trailer. The night took on an incredibly relaxed mood as Sam told stories about growing up with the Wall. I looked through photos and she told a story of going from the street to riding the wall at age 15, when veteran rider Sonny Pelaquin took her under his wing. She learned everything from trick riding to rebuilding the bikes, to assembling, repairing, and rebuilding the entire wall structure. Her web site keeps Sonny and The Wall's history alive. Goth relaxed by decorating her leather jacket with paint, attempting to find good tunes on the radio, trying to picture what a Goth worthy tattoo would look like, and cleaning the entire trailer. It was 3:00 a.m. when I fired up the Sporty, only to find the gate locked.

Sam let me out and I soaked up every mile as I rode home to my campsite. As strange as it may sound, my favorite part of Daytona is not the riding (although it's a close second,) or the events. Ok, seeing my friends is wonderful, but it's the end of the day, the winding down and heading back over the causeway. Although, it is now a lot less fun, due to the police presence at the entrance to the bridge. Up and over the bridge, run along the Intercoastal, full moon playing across the water-lending a surreal glow against the mysterious palms. Then cruising through the deserted side streets, over a few blocks and it's home sweet home. It's an extraordinary place, tucked into the middle of everything but completely isolated from the anything beyond it's secure confines. Climbing into the tent and into my pajamas, bike motor making cracking noises as it cools off, I sit in the open doorway of the tent, gazing out over the shimmer of the lake next to my campsite. The moon intensely silhouetted against the palms, I sit there, comfy. A solitary V-twin rumbles far off in the distance. Scrappy, the housedog, sits stoically with me guarding the entrance of the tent. Then there's the ritual of the nighttime snack we have together. He nips on dog treats. I make a snack of cheese and crackers, zip up the tent and fall asleep looking up at the stars. So relaxing, it may be outlawed someday, a life so foreign to the usual daily routine of the civilized existence.

You can check out Goth and get your Devil Doll worship gear at www.devildolls.com)

Continued From Page 3

COPS SENTENCED IN MIAMI CORRUPTION CASE–MIAMI — Four Miami police officers were sentenced Monday in a police corruption case that involved allegations of planted guns and a conspiracy to cover up questionable police shootings.

Jesus Aguero, Arturo Beguiristain, Jorge Castello and Oscar Ronda were convicted of conspiracy to obstruct justice in shootings that left three people dead in 1996 and 1997.

Prosecutors had hoped for prison sentences of as long as 11 years, but U.S. District Judge Alan Gold rejected the harshest sentences in the city’s biggest police corruption scandal in a generation.

Instead, Gold sentenced the officers to three years or less in federal prison.

The judge issued a 46-page order in preparation for sentencing hearings Wednesday for shootings by anti-crime units under pressure to halt a rash of deadly tourist robberies in the mid-1990s.

Eleven officers went on trial in four shootings. Four were convicted in April, three others were acquitted, and four face retrials after the jury deadlocked. Two officers are back at work.

Defense attorneys welcomed decisions that helped their clients but promise appeals on convictions for obstruction of justice and conspiracy as well as sentencing decisions.

BIKE DEAL OF THE WEEK IN AUSTRALIA– I have finally got the bikes ready for sale.The ultra is 2000 model minus the lower fairing,it has staintune pipes also a power commander 111R fitted and a K&N HI Flow air cleaner.,the bike goes extremely well and is in immaculate condition with 53,000 highway klms.I am asking 25,000 Australian dollars.

The Sportser is a 1994 883 model fitted with a screaming eagle ignition module and hi flow air cleaner.I lowered the bike 2 inches by fitting hagon shocks on the rear and progessive springs on the front.It has bigger fuel tank and also a tacho fitted, the bike is in great condition and goes really well.I am asking 8,000 Australian dollars.

–Glenn P.
mailto:no1hastings@bigpond.com

DARWIN NOMINEES THIS YEAR ARE– A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

BIKERNET READER’S SHOWCASE–This month we received a bike all the way from Italy. I can only imagine how sweet a ride it must be to tool around those roads that most of us only see in pictures. Manni Lucca found parts that give his Duece an Italian flair, the upsweep swingarm, the cafe racer headlight cowl, the little chin airdam, even the wheels. Be sure to check out Reader’s Rides. We’ve got a few evil choppers and even a sweet lady available for your viewing pleasure this month.

You can post your own bike building story and bike feature on Bikernet–not bad.

–Crazy Horse

WOMEN FIGHT FOR TOPLESS RIGHTS–MERRITT ISLAND — Jan Frandsen likes swimming, gardening and other outdoor activities, but wants the freedom to do them without wearing a blouse if she chooses.

The 46-year-old wife and mother, and her 14-year-old daughter, Athela, are among 10 women fighting for that right through a federal lawsuit.

She said the law as it stands it discriminatory.

“It is time for our culture to mature and grow past this discrimination against women,” Frandsen said. “We just want to have a choice.”

Women who last month filed the suit seeking to abolish laws that prohibit them from going without a top in places where men already are permitted to go without a shirt, went public Monday in Brevard County with their legal fight.

But Brevard County officials said the ordinance cited in the suit has withstood challenges before and they expect it to stand up again.

The ” Florida Top Free Ten” women said in the suit against Brevard County that they want the right to go top-free for sunbathing, gardening, swimming or mowing their front lawns.

“In 1919, women stood outside the polls,” said Kayla Sosnow. “Today we vote. In 1967, blacks sat at the back of the bus. Today buses are integrated. It’s only a matter of time before women and men enjoy top-free equality.”

–By R. Norman Moody,FLORIDA TODAY

–from Rogue

Man of The Year Award goes to… From Dr. Hamster.

CAGER ATTACKS BIKERS–PANAMA CITY BEACH, Florida (AP) — A man driving a stolen pickup truck ran over five motorcyclists on a coastal highway, killing two and critically injuring another, police said.

The 26-year-old man got into an argument with the bikers — five men and a woman — before running them over Wednesday, Deputy Chief of Police David Humphreys said.

“He pulled up behind the five motorcycles, hit the gas, and plowed right through them,” Humphreys said.

The woman died on the scene, and one of the men was declared dead at a hospital. Another man was in critical condition late Wednesday, Humphreys said.

Witnesses told police that the two remaining bikers got back on their motorcycles and chased the truck. They alerted an officer who joined in pursuit.

The motorcycles had Michigan license plates, and stickers that said “Property of Outlaws,” Humphreys said.

“They chased the truck to a dead end road, when the individual rammed the vehicle,” said Humphreys. “The officer held the subject at gunpoint, when a shot went off.”

Nobody was injured in the struggle, Humphreys said.

Timothy E. Pilgren was charged with two counts of murder, Humphreys said. Police early Thursday said they had no information on whether Pilgren had been jailed.

HOW TO MAKE A FRAME JIG–Here’s a connection to a site with tech tips:http://64.172.168.34/neatstuff/framejig2.htm.

Above is a Sportster swingarm drawing from R. Vannoy, who was trying to show a reader how to widen a Sporty swingarm.

RIDING
By T. A. Royse

How do I tell you of the many things I’ve seen,
Of rolling hills and valleys lush with the green?
Where are the wondrous words I can use to describe
The feeling that I have when riding with the tribe?

Watching flocks of wild birds taking to the wing
And sharing in their freedom is a joyous thing.
Deer loping down a ditch line and up into the field
And I was running with them until I had to yield.

In the wind is honeysuckle and the smell of hay
And sometimes near a diner bacon wafts your way.
On a hot afternoon between the river and the cliffs
The breeze is just perfect and your spirit lifts.

The massive pumping engine down between your knees
Delivers power from the throttle anytime you please.
There is a sense of freedom; man you might just fly.
There is a touch of edginess cause you might just die.

The group grows closer as you ride along.
It seems the big engines are singing the same song.
We are the Riders and the highway is our place.
It is the silver ribbon that lends us our grace.

There is one experience that I love the best,
A small thing that happens; different from the rest.
Sometimes at the road’s side, a child is there,
A look of awe upon him and his thumb is in the air.

Then God is in his heaven and I am on the road.
The world is right and proper. There ain’t no heavy load.
There are no wondrous words I can use to describe
The feeling that I have when I’m riding with the tribe.

Written for the M&M Riders
A free association of motorcyclistsFrom Mt. Sterling and Montgomery County Kentucky,and the surrounding area.

THAT’S GOOD TIME–We wrapped this sucker by 1:00 p.m. PST. I swear the news eats me alive on Thursdays. Somebody send me a bonus. Whiskey will do just fine, a couple of parts for the Amazing Shrunken FXR or a long night with Sin Wu.

Okay, we decided in a massive corporated meeting of the board of directors to shift the sexual escapades to the Cantina. I’m all right with this decision, I suppose. Between you and me, when finances are tight, I want to start a pro-prostitution site and work with the ladies. Am I wrong.

It’s just a pipe dream. Bikernet is growing like crazy, but I’ll leave that to advertising sales. I’m working on a plan to finish the FXR, start another project chopper and see that the first Chance book is published.

Instead of switching off Daylight Savings Time, how about cranking life to 36 hours a day. I need more time. Tomorrow is Halloween and we’ll be armed and ready. Next weekend the Love Ride comes to town along with 10,000 riders from all over the country including Jose. That’ll be a wild weekend. Hang on.

–Bandit

Continued From Page 2

THE BIKERNET CRAZYHORSE CUSTOM PAINT REPORT– This week’s paint job belongs to Jerry Wolfe from the Lone Star state. He shipped his new VRod all the way to Gastonia, NC to get it customized by Jim Bortles at Carolina Harley-Davidson. To see other bikes Jim has built and customized go to http://www.crazyhorsepainting.com/jim.htm . Jerry has been a customer of mine for over a year now and I came up with a unique paint job for his V.

It was quite a challenge welding on the sheetmetal. It was like trying to weld a beer can, it is that thin. But Jim made up a set of new sidescovers and refabbed the rear fender. I used House of Kolor Chameleon paint and the VRod’s array of curves really brought out the color changing qualities of the paint. As far as graphics go, I just started sketching and came up with the graphic that is seen here.

The end result is a bike that really turns heads. In Carolina H-D’s fab shop, which is full of wild customs and choppers, this was the bike everyone seemed drawn to. Surprized the hell out of me. I took it out for a ride to take some pictures down at an old weigh station recently, and it was the biggest rush. Anyone who pulled up next to me at a light, had to ask questions about the bike. Although, the first time it happened, I couldn’t answer them. I was so in shock from riding this $45,000 custom, I was speechless for a few miles.

How did I find the ride of the VRod? Unreal. I’ve ridden all kinds of H-Ds, choppers, owned and ridden the hell out of my sporty, my old triumph, and my ninja. This thing rode better than any of them. I was gone for two hours. With the gas tank down under the seat, the thing practically stands up by itself. Light, nimble, sure footed, it handled like a dream on the tight twists. On the highway, it has top end up the ying yang. Off the line- it may as well have afterburners.

My buddy Charlene Sparks of Drag Specialities tells me her H-D dealers sell a lot of them to women. I can see why. It’s perfectly set up for those who aren’t 6 ft or long legged. With small handgrips and a comfy seat position, it fit me like a glove. Now if I can only talk the crusty old fabricator that I share this house with, into hanging a pair of saddlebags on one.

–Crazy Horse

BIKERNET SHOPPING ADVICE–A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, and a 1 lb package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

He said, “You must be single.”

The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, looked at her four items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said, “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk said, “Cause you’re ugly.”

–from Ken Miller

CYRIL HUZE BANDIT EXHAUST– Draw a crowd with this new exhaust system from Cyril Huze. They are the ones he created for his new Chopper called “Stray Kat”. Pipes are stepped from 1 3/4″ to 2″. They are transmission mounted for universal fitments. Some custom bikes with transmission offset may require bracket adaptation by user. Do not interfere with passenger pegs. Not baffled. Chrome or black coated. For Evo & Twin Cam.

–Cyril Huze Custom Inc.
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
http://www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT–Hey Bro. Can’t you talk these Cantina girls into wearing less clothes. Usually all these girls need to wear is a smile. Clothes of any kind are for those that are trying to hide something that we haven’t seen before. If they have something going on that I haven’t seen before, I don’t think I really want to see it!

Keep up the good work! Don’t ride safe. Go like hell, make a lot of noise, have fun, and don’t let anybody catch you!

–Bruce

You need to join the Cantina.

A BIKERNET RELIGIOUS MOMENT– A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cabdriver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why is he staring.

Hereplies, “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you.

She answers,”My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been aNun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just abouteverything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would findoffensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single; and I’mCatholictoo!”

“OK” the Nun says. “Pull into the next alley. He does and theNun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. Butwhenthey get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child”, said the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me Sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess, I’mmarried and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to aHalloween party.”

–from Ken Miller

WISCONSIN TRAITS–Since we all went to the 100th in Milwaukee this will make sense.

Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled withsnow
You can identify an Illinois accent.
You have no problem spelling Milwaukee.
You know how to polka.

–from Daniel, The Knife Maker

OLD SCHOOL SHIRTS FROM CHRIS KALLAS–Skelechopper T-shirts A limited number of T-shirts are now availablefrom artist Chris Kallas. They are screen printed black on white Hanes Beefy-T(Cause you can’t wear black all the time). Large and XL sizes only. For moreinformation email Chris at cgknak@aol.com or call (310) 316-2790.

–CK

BACK TO THE CHICKEN JOKE–A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning againstthe headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on his face.

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over andsays, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question.”

Moral of the story (by Stroker)…….
Don’t sleep with chickens!
Don’t count your chicken before it comes!
Rubber chickens last longer!
A bird in hand is better than two in the bush?
A good man never chickens out!
You must have the pan well lubircated before you can fry your egg!
There is no such thing as a 2 minute egg!
It takes time and talent to make Quiche!
Real men eat Quiche!
Some eggs are just Benedict!and most of all, do not sleep with chickens!

–from Stroker

JODY CALL–NEW BIKERNET FICTION–Read the piece this morning as soon as I got to the office! I’ve got tosay outstanding writing! Plus, many thanks for posting the boy’spictures up, I’m pretty damn proud of em.

BTW – If I’ve never said it before, many thanks for your service andsacrifice in your younger days. Gotta say that you looked pretty snappyin your Dress Blues! When I see the boys next week, I’m gonna show emthe story . They will both get a kick out of it!

Again bro, many thanks.

–Forrest P.

His two son’s recently returned from Iraq. Check Jody Call, the new fiction.

Continued On Page 4

Continued From Page 1

GUARD GETS FIVE YEARS FOR HAVING SEX WITH INMATE–ABOUT TIME–VERO BEACH — A fired Indian River County prison guard, found guilty of having sex with a female inmate he was transporting, was sentenced Tuesday to the maximum of five years in state prison.

Carl Lewis, 35, didn’t speak before he was sentenced by Indian River Judge Cynthia Cox. A jury of five women and two men found Lewis guilty of sexual activity with an inmate following a trial Sept. 11. The jury found Lewis innocent of two counts of sexual battery involving other female inmates.

At sentencing, Detective James Hyde, who testified at the trial on behalf of the state, recommended the maximum penalty for Lewis.”These crimes have definitely tarnished the reputation of the sheriff’s office and law enforcement as a whole,” he told the judge.

–By Linda JumpFLORIDA TODAY

–Rogue

NEW PROJECT COMING FROM KUSTOM FAB IN HAWAII– I have these photo’s of Mel’s bike start to finish, he said you might beinterested in using them. If you want I can send you photos from concept tofinish.

— Darren

We’re all for it. Check the last Kustom Fab build in the bike feature and tech area. You’ll see it from start to finish.

MOTORCYCLE GANGS OR MOTORCYCLE MAFIA?–by Sergeant Steve Tretheway Arizona Department of Public Safetyand Lieutenant Terry Katz Criminal Intelligence Division, Maryland State Police

Once considered nothing more than rowdy toughs on two-wheelers, motorcycle gangs have evolved into crime units that are sufficiently well-oiled and well-organized to rival the Mafia. It’s not just police officers who lump these groups together. Documented evidence in state, provincial and federal courts throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Australia suggests that motorcycle gangs have become organized crime entities equal to the Mafia on many fronts. Biker gangs are organized internationally, with chapters in Europe, Australia, South America and Africa. As retired Illinois State Police Sergeant Joe Satercier noted in 1993 at a Chicago-area Outlaw Motorcycle Gang training seminar, “Biker gangs are the only sophisticated organized crime groups that we export from the United States.”

The international problem has become clearer through Interpol’s “Project Rockers,” which demonstrated that American-based motorcycle gangs such as the Bandidos, Hell’s Angels and Outlaws (three of the larger gangs) use their networks to spread criminal activity overseas. Indeed, at least six motorcycle gangs in the United States now have chapters outside the country’s borders. The Hell’s Angels gang alone has chapters in 20 countries and is expanding so rapidly that it’s difficult to keep up withprospective new chapters. By moving outside the United States, biker gangs can enhance their international criminal connections through involvement with the Italian Mafia, Columbian cartels and other organized crime enterprises.

The gangs’ own mottos, however, offer insight as to how they should be viewed:Hell’s Angels: “Three people will keep a secret if two are dead.”Outlaws: “God forgives, Outlaws don’t.”Bandidos: “We are the people that our parents warned us about.”

Motorcycle gangs are recognized as organized crime not only by the FBI, but also by other police agencies and courts throughout the United States. Within the past two years, Australia and Canada have successfully used immigration laws to prohibit organized crime members–such as non-citizen members of Hell’s Angels–from entering their countries. Although Canada’s laws were initially designed to keep the Mafia out, they have been interpreted to include all organized crime, and these exclusions are based on documentation that outlaw motorcycle gangs are international criminal organizations.

–National Gang Investigators

–from Rogue

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Southern California is burning, and burn it will since I’m heading over next week!! Hide the blondes…. brunettes and redheads….Now joking aside, I hope every one of our readers in Cali is safe and well. Disasters like that are not wished upon our worst enemies. I really hope the fire gets contained at least, sure we can deal with yuppies and Twinkies and the latest shit heads on neo choppers, but loosing a lifetime of memories, and like George Carlin says “stuff” has to be a “flattening” experience.

The Love Ride is taking place and like last year, I’m heading over to visit/ take the Bikernet Headquarters by force. I get to see friends and hang out at Jesse’s No Love party. Jay Hodge, the infamous foam sucker/board shaper will be my partner in crime, I hope we don’t end up on CNN. I’ve already got reports that Irish Rich and Fabricator Kevin are heading to the West coast; let’s see what kind of trouble we can get into. Maybe we can create a heavy-duty distraction at the Monster Garage, let?s see….

Ah, Los Angeles, the land of the high maintenance, big breasted blondes. Unlike last year when I was still “new” to the single scene, now it’s guerilla mode and Rambo will look like a wimp.Let’s see which chick and which bike I can manage to steal from the mighty Bandit. There’s already a plan on cutting off his protein shakes and doubling the doses of Jack, yeap I figured out the weak side…Beware !

Now on another subject…..We heard in Biketoberfest that Merch went out of business, too bad that those motors are no longer available, again this was an “inside” scoop so I don’t know for sure but we will find out pretty soon. While hanging out with our mutual friend Frank Kaisler, we traded some sarcasm and he passed on some of his photos so I could post them on my site. Frank has the most amazing archive of chick photos from events, so I decided to add an Eye Candy section. While I shoot a hundred photos or so, Franks shoots thousands. I guess that’s why he’s the pro.

Melanie from exotic dancers of hawaii.com is sending a disc, also a few of the guys that were there, so we will have a very solid gallery of what went on Biketoberfest 2003.

We are working hard for the upcoming event in Puerto Rico. I’m trying to finish all the bikes I have, and the planning goes ahead. We are still trying to close the deal with some industry friends who will show up, and as soon as I know, everyone here will. We also heard that our own Crazy Horse is getting a V-Rod, there goes the neighborhood (fact or fiction?)

On the ChopperFreak front we are getting ready for the Holidays; new shirts, jackets, work shirts and caps are on the way. We are shooting a couple bikes for The Horse, and you guessed it, with hot chicks on them….Keep the eyes peeled.

And now to end this babbling, to my readers, the ones that enjoy my antics week after week…… I know I’ve been kind of mild lately, not my intention I should claim, but we have been really busy and time for the weekly report is less than desirable, so I’m kind of holding back. Anyway, I raked amazing amounts of bashing material at that circus we call Biketoberfest, so sooner or later, the stories will come…I promise.

–Later, Jose Bikernet Caribbean Reporter on the loose

Continued On Page 3

It’s a tough week for SoCal and for our brothers and sisters in Iraq. Every once in a while I get pissed at CNN and Fox news coverage. I write the bastards from time to time and recently asked them to compare the killings in Baghdad to how many people were murdered in Los Angeles last night, Detroit or Chicago.

Those media freaks sit in their lavish chairs and discuss the fact that the general public can’t stand the news and especially CNN for their, “find who fucked up” slant. Yet, they still can’t seem to cover the people in Iraq who are now building a life in a free state. Or articles on soldiers who are making it happen daily.

Yes, the world is bananas. But here at Bikernet we’re working with Bill Bish on the new efforts to pass “Motorcycle Right Of Way” laws. This is the best life-saving effort in years. We just published the first of a two-part series on building a CCI bike kit from the ground up. It’s on the home page now. And for soldiers and brothers all over the world we’re working on four different Fiction tales to keep the faith over the winter months. Check out “Jody Call” by Hutch. It’s all positive here at Bikernet.

Let’s hit the news:

WIRING DIAGRAM CONNECTION–Here is another wiring diagram for anyone who needs it at the website. I got this one from mcworx,com

–Scoot

BAD CONCLUSIONS–Below are a few examples of bad reasoning causing bad conclusions.Though humorous, the principles are based in truth.

IGNORING THE ADVICE OF EXPERTS WITHOUT GOOD REASON:Example: Sure, the experts say you shouldn’t ride a bicycle inthe eye of a hurricane, but I have my own theory.

FOLLOWING THE ADVICE OF KNOWN IDIOTS:Example: Uncle Horace says eating pork makes you smarter.That’s good enough for me.

REACHING BIZARRE CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT ANY INFORMATION:Example: My car won’t start. I’m certain the sparkplugs have been stolen by rogue clowns.

FAULTY PATTERN RECOGNITION:Example: His last six wives were murdered mysteriously.I hope to be wife number seven.

FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE WHAT’S IMPORTANT:Example: My house is on fire!Quick, call the post office and tell them to hold my mail!

OVERAPPLICATION OF OCCAM’S RAZOR (WHICH SAYS THESIMPLEST EXPLANATION MUST BE CORRECT):Example: The simplest explanation for the moon landings is thatthey were hoaxes. (maybe?)

INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME THINGS HAVE MULTIPLE CAUSES:Example: The Beatles were popular for one reason only:they were good singers.

PROOF BY LACK OF EVIDENCE:Example: I’ve never seen you drunk,so you must be one of those Amish people.

BLINDING FLASHES OF THE OBVIOUS:Example: If everyone had more money, we could eliminate poverty.

BLAMING THE TOOL:Example: I bought an encyclopedia, but I’m still stupid.

TAKING THINGS TO THEIR ILLOGICAL CONCLUSION:Example: If you let your barber cut your hair, the next thingyou know he’ll be lopping your limbs off.

JUDGING THE WHOLE BY ONE OF ITS CHARACTERISTICS:Example: The sun causes sunburns.Therefore, the planet would be better off without the sun.

–from Rev CarlR

CYRIL HUZE STRAY KAT CHOPPER– Cyril Huze just released a new Chopper named “Stray Kat” based on his own rigid frame & featuring all the parts & accessories sold through his catalog.

“This is one new example of extreme quality and awesome looking chopper that can be built from all our parts” declares Cyril. When building a bike, to have only one source to order all your parts and be certain that they are all compatible is also a tremendous advantage in terms of prices & time saved.

Stray Kat can be ordered in rolling chassis, for the 250 mm left side drive or 280 mm right side drive, or in bike kit, with or without engine.

For more info contact Cyril Huze at: 561-392-5557 or through the company new website at http://www.cyrilhuze.com.

BIKERNET CALIFORNIA FIRE REPORT–San Diego was the worst today. We sent every one home….Had a hard time breathing. It was like a volcano went off. On the way home fire was everywhere even to the Freeway. Every town there was on Fire.

Just got off the phone with my buddy up in Big Bear. They are on alert, 45 minutes away from us. Told him to call me if help is needed. Its really bad out there. The air quality is bad. This is the worst I have ever seen. I got a call from a Sub contractor of mine and they are even using there heavy equipment to fight the fires. The weather is suppose change this week and could get bad.

Well, let’s hope So. California can make it thru this one.

–Bob T

SCREAMIN? EAGLE DRAG TEAM BRINGS V-ROD POWER TO VEGAS–Hines Advances to Semi-Final Round; Both Riders Top 10 in Series Points.MILWAUKEE, WIS (Oct. 27, 2003) – Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines drag racing team riders GT Tonglet and Andrew Hines both qualified and advanced in the Sunday Pro Stock Bike elimination rounds at the 3rd Annual AC Delco Las Vegas Nationals at Las Vegas Motor Speedway in Las Vegas, Nevada. Hines rode his Harley-Davidson V-Rod into the semi-final round of the event, part of the National Hot Rod Association POWERade Drag Racing Series.

Hines qualified fourth in the 16-bike field with a run of 7.260 seconds at 187.55 mph. Tonglet?s best run in the qualifying rounds was a pass at 7.296/188.17, good for eighth position in the line-up for Sunday elimination rounds. Craig Treble was the top qualifier with a run of 7.246/186.61.

?Our Screamin? Eagle V-Rods are making great power, and we?re a threat to win every round,? said Tonglet.

In the first round of eliminations, Tonglet (7.283/186.79) beat Karen Stoffer (7.318/182.08), while Hines (7.273/182.33) defeated Antron Brown (7.356/180.67) and also advanced to the second round.

Hines put the V-Rod power down again in round two with a run of 7.290/187.73 and defeated Sean Conner (7.347/179.11) despite Conner?s 0.003 reaction time. Tonglet?s day ended with a red light in the second round as he jumped the start (-0.009) and gave Treble the win with a run of 7.231/184.22.

That put Hines and Treble head-to-head in one semi-final round match. Hines (7.274/176.56) made another good pass but it was not enough to beat Treble, who posted a track record ET with a run of 7.165/185.89.

?It was great to make it to the semi-final round,? said Hines. ?We got beat by a record run, but we came here to win and this team won?t be satisfied until we bring one home.?In the final round, Treble (7.178/185.33) defeated Angelle Savoie (7.230/188.78) to take his first event win of the season.

?This weekend we saw an improvement in our sixty-foot times. The final round at Pomona should be interesting,? said chief technical consultant Matt Hines.

?GT cracked the top ten in points by beating Karen Stoffer in the first round,? said Mike Kennedy, director of Screamin? Eagle Racing. ?With Drew eighth and GT tenth, we?re happy to have both riders in the top ten in Pro Stock Bike points. That?s been our goal.?

The National Hot Rod Association POWERade Drag Racing Series makes its final stop of the 2003 season in Pomona, California for the 39th annual Automobile Club of Southern California NHRA Finals, Nov. 6-9 at Pomona Raceway at Fairplex.

HUZE FRAMES 280 MM REAR TIRE– Cyril Huze now offers both Rigid & Softail frames accepting the new 280 mm Metzeler rear tire. All these frames are set up with right side drive to avoid offsetting engine & transmission, keeping the bike balanced. Available in almost any rake & stretch and upstretch, from Chopper to Street Racer look and everything between. Rolling chassis in different configurations are also available. Cyril Huze Custom Inc.Tel: 561-392-5557Fax: 561-392-9923http://www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET GULCH ?ORWELL? CHRISTMAS OFFER–With only 55-days left till Christmas, we decided to make it easy on gift giving for you. We?ve knocked $4 bucks off the price of Orwell when you buy a minimum of five books. That?s right, for $55 dollars, shipping included; you?ll have gifts for five of your best buddies. Make it easy on yourself and buy the damn books!

SWAP MEET DALLAS-Sunday November 9th–At the Gigantic Historic LONGHORN BALLROOM. Featuring: Antique Motorcycle Displays by The Tejas Chapter of the Antique Motorcycle Club of America

Dave Kurtz owner of East Bay American Motorcycles in Ennis will be co-ordinating the Antique Motorcycle Displays and showing Harleys from his personal collection as well.

PARTS ‘N PARTY !! – Cheap Used Parts – Traveling Parts Discounters – Season Leather Deals – Garage “Clean Outs” – “Take Off” Parts & Accessories – Parts Distributers “Over Runs”Jewelry – Goggles – Lifestyle Accessories – & Many Things Totally Unrelated !! DON?T MISS IT!!

LONGHORN BALLROOM LOCATED – on the corner of Industrial Blvd. & Corinth. Take the Industrial Blvd. exit from I-30 or I-35 where they cross in downtown Dallas and go south 6 blocks.

CALL 254-687-9066 For Vendor Info or other questions OR LOG ON TO: www.texasscooter.com

OTHER Texas Scooter Times “Winter Swap Meet & Expo Series” Dates include:
November 23 – Swap Meet Austin – Crockett Center – Austin
January 4 – Swap Meet Dallas & Chopper Show – Longhorn Ballroom – Dallas
February 8- West Texas Motorcycle Expo & Swap Meet – Taylor County Expo Center – Abilene
February 29 – East Texas Motorcycle Expo & Swap Meet – Convention Complex – Longview
March 7 – Swap Meet Dallas – Longhorn Ballroom – Dallas

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 3

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–We are back from Biketoberfest and as always the report will be kind of limited since I’m working on the full story, but still here we go.

The highlights were The Horse chopper show at the Last Resort with over 115 choppers registered, we also met with our friends from Hawaii of www.exoticdancersofhawaii.com . They will have many photos of the event as well in their site. Billy Lane and Indian Larry had a joint booth (like we do in Bike Week) and it was the hot spot of the week, a prime example of what TV does to the masses. Lollipops was our meeting place, as always packed to the gills, but all of our friends ended up meeting there every single night. I got to thank Shane and Chris for their hospitality. We spent most of our time with the usual suspects of the Horse and the Horse board; it’s been kind of a solid brotherhood amongst all the guys that one way or another have met each other outside the computer chatting.

We also had the chance to spend some time with Rogue and Stroker from here, like I’ve said a thousand times before it’s always great to put names with faces.Our mission on this trip was to smooth out the upcoming event in Puerto Rico, yeap the cat’s out of the bag, we are having our own Bike Week-end. It will take place from the 5th to the 7th of December on the West side of the island. Some of our friends from the US are going to come over, still to be announced. There?s a lot of stuff going on, but I will write about it as everything happens, if in need of more info shoot me an e-mail at Jose@chopperfreak.com .

I’m going to thread lightly on the Biketoberfest happenings, very lightly. What?s up with the white tennis shoes, shorts, OCC shirts and neo choppers? Are these 250 tired choppers taking the place of the status symbol that Harleys were last year? I guess it’s the new rub thing, like avoiding vendors and just hitting Main Street and the bars….. There were parking spots at Beach Street while heavy-duty traffic into main all day and all night, go figure.

Just in case you have picked up the new issue of The Horse (#37) we have a couple of Bobbers we’ve just finished, let me know what you think.In the wear front we have new jackets, work shirts and girls stuff coming up, people asked for it and we are doing it. They will be available on my website in the next couple weeks.

I know this might sound like unorganized bits of information but I’m trying to save the material for the story.

Everything is well in the Caribbean front and those of you who asked, thanks…I’ll see you guys (and gals) next week.

Jose – Caribbean Bikernet reporter

CYRIL HUZE BUILDS 280 TIRE FRAMES– Cyril Huze now offers both Rigid & Softail frames accepting the new 280 mm Metzeler rear tire. All these frames are set up with right side drive to avoid offsetting engine & transmission, keeping the bike balanced. Available in almost any rake & stretch and upstretch, from Chopper to Street Racer look and everything between. Rolling chassis in different configurations are also available.

Cyril Huze Custom Inc.
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
http://www.cyrilhuze.com

ON-GOING BAD COP RESEARCH– Deputy Retires After Arrest In Prostitution Sting,11-Year Veteran Charged With Soliciting Prostitute.

MELBOURNE, Fla. — An 11-year veteran of the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office has been charged with soliciting a prostitute after he offered an undercover deputy $20 for oral sex, police said.

Sgt. Lee Elliott, 60, was among 17 people arrested early Sunday during an undercover prostitution sting in Cape Canaveral, police said. The undercover operation was conducted by Brevard sheriff’s deputies.

“It’s a shock,” spokeswoman Joan Heller said.

Elliot was released early Sunday on $500 bail from the Brevard County Detention Center and suspended from police duty. He faces a maximum of 60 days in jail if convicted.

The sheriff later accepted a letter of retirement from Elliot, a spokeswoman from the sheriff’ office said.

The Florida Retirement System in Tallahassee will now determine whether Elliott will collect retirement funds, Heller said.

Elliot approached two women deputies posing as prostitutes shortly after midnight on Sunday, deputies working in the sting said. He then struck up a conversation with one of the undercover deputies and offered to pay her $20 for oral sex, investigators said.

–from Rogue

I say Cops and Bikers get together to legalize prostitution.–Bandit

The famous Gunny.

GUNNY’S AIM LAW AND LEGISLATIVE NEWS–Twice a month we feature direct legislative reports, one from Bill Bish and one from Gunny. Both papers are funded by Richard Lester and A.I.M.

Here’s a tidbit from Gunny’s latest. Read the full report in the Bikernet Rights Department: Two San Francisco groups representing seniors and pedestrians came out swinging against a city supervisor’s proposal to allow some parking of motorcycles on sidewalks. I’m not so sure I don’t agree with them, in principal at least. I don’t like the idea just because it would put my ride in harms way from the “touchy-feely” people who run around laying their dirty paws on everything in sight!

I don’t want some fool thinking he can sit on my bike just because it’s there. There is always the danger of somebody knocking it over and maybe hurting someone and then getting my butt sued. It would be much simpler to designate one car space at the end of each block for bikes like they do in Salem, Oregon. It works folks, and doesn’t cost anybody a red cent.

MO’ COP HEAT– Utah – Statistics released by Utah Peace Officer Standards and Training officials show that in the past dozen years, 212 law enforcement officers have been disciplined for sexual offenses including rape and having sex with a consensual adult in a police vehicle.

Sexual offenses are one of the most common violations committed by police, with punishment ranging from decertification to a reprimand, according to the report released Thursday. Criminal charges are also regularly filed in such cases.

”Sexual offenses are pretty concerning for us,” said POST director Sid Groll. ”It becomes a public trust issue.”

Box Elder County sheriff’s Deputy Brett Ricketts had his police certification permanently revoked Thursday for having sex with a woman other than his wife in his police car and in a sheriff’s building.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–Rogue

STROKERS DALLAS BIKE REPORT–We have just completed several BAD ASS custom Bikes. We built Jason Arnott of the Dallas Stars wicked long and low motorcycle. This bike has to be seen to be believed. It’s different than anything we have ever done before. We also just finished a Chopper for Richard Matvichuk of the Dallas Stars and built a bagger for Billy Guerin of the Stars as well. Also for my pal Joe T. we built a chopper. We’re building fools. We have between 7-10 trained technicians working daily. And don’t forget to stop by any Sunday and have a beer at Strokers Ice House.

–Rick Fairless

Photo by Michael Lichter

TINY DOWN–A monster of a man, Tiny, 65 years of age, was a member of the El Forsteros MC, then a long time member of the Satans Slaves until they became the San Fernando Valley Chapter of the Hells Angels. He has been a member of the Hells Angels for around 18 years. Tiny discovered David Mann and brought his art to the coast to introduce him to Ed Roth. He was involved with the Beach Ride to support the Exceptional Children’s Foundation for years.

Tiny died the 16th of October of Diabetes complications. He was survived by his wife, Jamie, “Chopper Girl” Bower. His funeral was attended by clubs and bikers from all over the country. He will be sorely missed. May he ride on forever.

–Bandit

FEDERAL SEIZURES FATTEN LOCAL COPS–We received this news clipping from Rogue months ago and never mentioned it in the news, although it desperately needs to be recognized. Here’s the first couple of paragraphs by Robyn Blumner a Florida Tribune Syndicated Columnist:

Civil asset forfeiture is the most infamous game in law enforcement. While in its pure form, seizing the luxury cars, boats, homes and cash of drug dealers can be a useful tool in taking profit out of crime, in the real world far too many police and sheriff’s offices use it to finance and enrich their operations, leading to startling abuses.

Now, this is an old story. Go through newspaper archives across the country and you’ll find investigative pieces going back more than a decade documenting problems with police departments’ taking people’s property for their own use, often without even bothering to charge the owner with a crime.

No-one is immune.

In Utah, a highly popular voter-passed initiative in 2000 sent all proceeds from asset seizures to an education fund. Since then, local police agencies and prosecutors have done everything possible to stymie the measure, from going to tcourt to challenge the initiative’s constitutionality (they lost), to simply ignoring it and illegally keeping the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Finally, in June, a court ordered the money into the school fund.

Old shot from Bob T.

LIGHT MY FIRE, GODDAMNIT–Let’s launch this puppy and head to the garage. This tech on the CCI bike build will have 64 images and eight charts to help you through the building process. You’ll discover the ease of building a carefully selected Kit Bike, the minor elements that take up the most time and some of the aspects that allow your creative nature to surface. It’s a blast, hang on.

We have a new Sponsor about to join us, Las Vegas Trikes. I’ve known Don Center, the president for years. He builds monster 330 to 500 hp trikes with Chevy engines. I won’t go into here, because we’ll run a number of reports in the near future. Check LVTrikes.com if you’re interested in low flying jets on three wheels. Incredible.

I know there’s more to report, but I’m running on empty. I need to escape the computer and ride. Stay tuned for new projects, action and fiction.

–Ride forever,
Bandit

Continued From Page 2

NEW V-ROD STANDARD–For 2004 H-D set up a new V-Rod with a lighter price. It’s the same basic motorcycle except for paint and handlebars. We are gradually posting all the new models in our special reports section. Check it out.

BIKERNET HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY TROUBLES– There’s this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a fancy costume party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. “Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate”.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.

A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note, which says, “Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part”.

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads, “Dear Sir, since we have not been able to make you happy, this is our last suggestion. Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a Carmel Apple.

–from Jay H.

CRAZYHORSE BIKETOBERFEST REPORT–Daytona’s Biketoberfest couldn’t have been more perfect. The weather-incredible. The people–not too crowded. The bikes-wow! Also anything bike related you wanted see was there. And people were going nuts for the OCC guys, lining up in sheeplike droves. Folks who went up to the Iron Horse on Saturday to see the Pauls, were disappointed as only Mikey and Cody showed up. But everyone who met Indian Larry came away impressed by his humanity and down to earth disposition. Yes, there were lots of really cool chops but many “off-the-rack” customs also. And folks are buying them up like crazy. Mike Phillips of Grandeur Cycle said he sold every bike he brought. While hanging out with my buddy Jennifer, I watched as RedNeck Engenuity continually sold shirt after shirt. People are buying. Drag Specialties couldn’t answer customers’ questions fast enough.

Eddie Trotta had a bunch of bikes on display. One of which I painted for him 8 years ago. I’ve always liked this bike. The small front wheel, the sweet fabrication work on it. I coulda swore there was a for sale sign on this bike when I saw it first, but then later, it wasn’t there. Musta sold quickly.

I used a simple but odd technique to get the shredded effect on the tribal design. I haven’t used it since and I wonder why, cos it does look killer. I guess once I try something, I move on maybe? I had a great time meeting a very talented airbrush artist Mike Learn, who says he visits my website regularly. Mike will be working with me to come out with a line of Crazy Horse shirts. The guy does alot more than just paint. I ran into Goth Girl at the Corbin party and she introduced me to Wall of Death rider Sam Morgan. Sam is another very telented lady who in addition to riding The Wall, does incredible glass etching and stain glass designing. The three of us hung out a few nights and there is never a dull moment in the world of Goth Girl. Then there was hanging with Jose and also Frank Kaisler. I’ll have the whole freaky tale of Bikefest submitted to Bandit sometime next week.

And lastly here’s picture that may be familar to regular vistors to my website. It explains where I got the idea and the model for my hitchhiker mural. Can anyone guess who she is?

–CrazyHorse

DIAMOND CUT DILEMMA — We received a message from Gonzo with www.yourMachinist.com wanting help with possibly solving a legal issue. We told him we could put the word out, and maybe one or more of you readers can help him. Below you see a trail of emails, all printed with Gonzo?s permission.

Sin, I hopefully have not spammed you but am sending this email out on a rush basis as it pertains to my right to make a living…if you are not into motorcycles please accept my apology for this interruption…

Have you received a phone call or email, from anyone, demanding you remove any links from your site to www.yourMachinist.com and/or to have links from www.yourMachinist.com to your site removed and/or your company removed from the Directory at www.yourMachinist.com?

Or have you been approached by anyone, in person, by phone and/or email in regards to any work done for you by www.yourMachinist.com?

If any of the above applies please contact me by email to Gonzo@yourMachinist.com or call me at 615-212-0292.

Also I’m trying to find some of my old customers that had their heads diamond cut back in the 1970’s and early 1980’s thru one of the following shops in Orlando Florida: “Puckett’s Harley-Davidson”, “Hole-in-the-Wall” or “Custom Bike Studio” or after 1984 in Fresno California and/or Phoenix Arizona. Please ask around as it is VERY IMPORTANT that I make contact with some of these people…

This is an email sent to a guy who ran a link to www.yourmachinist.com.

From: DIAMONDHEADS@xxxxx
To: shagg2002@xxxxx
Subject: YOUR MACHINIST.COM
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 20:00:59 EDT

I recently called your business and talked to someone claiming to be the manager. About a company (yourmachinist.com) that you have a link to on your web-site. As I explained to your manager that company illegally cuts heads and cylinders. That process and the cooling effect that it creates are covered under the US PATENT 6626134. Advertising for yourmachinist could be considered an infringement on that same patent and punishable under patent and trademark laws.We have filed a lawsuit against yourmachinist and they will be heldaccountable for there action as will any body found to be willinglyhelping them to steal from DIAMOND HEADS. Make no mistake I can and will protect my patent rights. Yourmachinist will not be in the diamond cutting business much longer and to keep giving your customers what they want it would be advisable to get on the right side of this problem ASAP. Any company that continues helping yourmachinist will never get DIAMOND HEADS at dealer cost. As I told your manager Thepatent # is 6626134.

Sincerely,
Keith Brinton
Owner and Creator DIAMOND HEADS

If anyone has any interest, contact Gonzo at the email address or phone number above. As we?ve said here before on Bikernet.com, we?re not the judge and jury; just providing the info sent our way. Below is the way the patent reads.

Sin

US PATENT 6626134 – Engine cooling system and method for making same wherein an engine, engine casing, or component thereof or a component related thereto has at least one cooling fin (18) having at least a portion of an edge surface (32) including an engraved, or intagliated portion (40). Preferably the surface edge includes a plurality of intagliated portions (40) with each portion including at least two elongated concavities being in preselected orientation and relationship to each other to improve the cooling efficiency of the fin and thus allow the engine to operate in wider, more extreme range of temperature and environments. The present invention is particularly well suited, but not limited to air-cooled engines and related components such as component covers, inspection/access covers, and oil coolers and is therefore readily adaptable to engines used to propel motor vehicles such as, but not limited to, motorcycles.

Photo from Roque.

BIKETOBERFEST REPORT– Daytona Beach 2003: I live in Florida about 100 miles South of Daytona Beach and go there day trippin when it is not Bike Week or Biketoberfest. The advantage to that is that I get to know a lot about the area, what is going on and where the good places are.

If you have been paying attention to Bikernet.com myself and others have been telling you what has been going on in and around the area and some of our experiences and opinions.

Yea I know! Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. Hey for what it is worth here is mine: If you like traffic jams and grid-locks do Main & Beach Streets and of course Ormond Strip. They are also good places to pick up tickets for just about any thing going. You can go home dollars short but telling all your Buds you were cool.

The city of Daytona Beach wants the Bikers off Main Street and is working to make it happen. So Beach Street is starting to be the new drag. There are local bike shops and national vendors, street vendors, Camel show, etc. If you need to pick up things for family or friends back home it is not bad

The influx of New Bikers are raising the number of those attending and are changing the motorcycle events in the area. That is not necessarily a bad thing.

More places are competing for the almighty dollar. Some just flat screw you for it while others compete. The trick is to find the right places. It is usually the newer riders that get taken until they learn the ropes and their way around.

There has been a growing trend in past few years for people to stay at places out side of Daytona Beach and travel into the area to see what they want or events they want to attend.

There are events and travel spots in a 100 mile radius and last year Orlando pulled 100,000. Then there are all the towns in the area between the Orlando and Daytona that want you. If you are on a limited bank account or just like to save money you can save $50.00 bucks or more a day on a motel or hotel and use the savings for party money.

I know a lot of the guys come to see Tits, well just asking a female can get You busted for solicitation, and if she does show you she gets popped too. There are a bunch of cool joints where you can see Wet-T-Shirt contests and more. Pay Attention and you will find out where.

You Can Get What Ever You Want In Florida! You just need to know where to look. NO I AM NOT GOING INTO THAT HERE. Shit you might be DA FUZ.

Okay enough of all that shit.

What did I do during Biketoberfest? I laid back and had a GOOD TIME. I checked out a new bar named The Black Hills Saloon which is where the old Will?s Honkytonk was on S.Ridgewood in Port Orange.

Of course I had to stop in to see my friend AL at The Last Resort Bar 5812 S. Ridgewood (US 1) in Port Orange. On Saturday they were having the OL? Skool Hardcore Chopper Show there. A lot of my friends were meeting there for it and Billy Lane from Choppers Inc. was judging it. I got to meet Jose from Caribbean Custom Cycles, the beautiful Melanie from Hawaii and a bunch of other people.

I had a comfortable ride up and back, rode around throughout Daytona with no hassles, partied and had a Great Time

Check back here before Bike Week In March. There just might be some info. That will make it a better time for you. Hell, check back every goddamn week. Bandit is digging up good shit constantly. Don’t tell him that.

–ROGUE

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LOVE RIDE 20– ZZ TOP HEADLINES LOVE RIDE 20, THE LARGEST MOTORCYCLE FUND-RAISING EVENT IN THE WORLD ON SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9 GRAND MARSHAL JAY LENO TO LEAD 20.000 MOTORCYCLISTS OVER $1 MILLION WILL BE RAISED FOR CHARITY
GLENDALE, CA – ZZ TOP will headline the milestone 20th anniversary of the Love Ride, the largest motorcycle fundraising event in the world, on Sunday, November9. Grand Marshal Jay Leno and Honorary Grand Marshal Peter Fonda will lead thepack of 20,000+ motorcyclists on a 50-mile caravan from Harley-Davidson of Glendaleto Castaic Lake. The barbecue, motorcycle trade show, and concert is expected toraise over $1 million for The Los Angeles Times’ literacy initiative Reading By 9, theMuscular Dystrophy Association, and other charities. In 18 years, the Love Ride hasraised over $15 million for charity

SIGN-UP BEGINS AT 6:00 A.M.
Sign up for Love Ride 20 begins at 6:00 a.m. on Sunday, November 9 at Harley-Davidson of Glendale, located at 3717 San Fernando Road between Los Feliz Blvd.and Brand Blvd. in Glendale, California. San Fernando Road and 22 adjacent streetswill be completely closed to all automobiles, turning the entire street over to Love Ridemotorcyclists.

For more information, call the 24-hour Love Ride hotline at (818) 246-5618 ext. 7. You can also visit the Love Ride website at www.loveride.org.

POST-APOCALYPSE REPORT COMING– I snail-mailed you a page out of Dixie Rider this morning. It was a cartoon strip named The Adventures Of Guzzi Lemans Biker Chick of the Post-Apocalypse.

The chick goes into Doorhinge County Choppers and wants to buy a bike. Of course it is obvious where she is and it was the Laugh of Daytona Beach. Well, most People thought it was funny.

I am sending some shots Scott Cochrane the editor sent me of when he showed the paper to Tuttle (Orange County Choppers) You know them as the Discovery Channel Comedy Team of Motorcycle Builders.

–Rogue

BIKERNET REMEMBERS A BROTHER–This is a shot of Myron and I in 1999 riding in Sturgis. I was riding a new 1999 Excelsior-Henderson. Recently a rider who has assisted Bikernet, and not long ago contributed a Sportster to starving artist Jon Towle, found himself in a jam. Richard Kransler has been married to Chris for over a decade, when they discovered she had severe MS. He was forced to sell his motorcycle, all his parts and move his family within reach of one of the best MS clinics in the country. He’s put every dime he could muster into her care and comfort.

The Bikernet crew took a vote to help Richard get into the wind once more. Several options were considered. The running rare 1999 Excelsior-Henderson is being air freighted to Richard in Washington within 48 hours. It’s the least we could do.

BIKERNET COP CONVICTION STUDY–Bad Cop: Convicting a cop, nearly impossible… California – It’s been more than three decades since a police officer faced criminal charges for fatally shooting someone in Santa Clara County.

As a county grand jury considers this week whether to charge a San Jose officer in the July shooting death of a Vietnamese woman, the long-ago case of former officer Rocklin Woolley illustrates the long odds involved in trying an officer for killing in the line of duty.

“It’s always hard for a jury to convict an officer, particularly in our county, where the public has a high opinion of police,” said Dave Davies, a retired prosecutor who unsuccessfully sought to convict Woolley of felony manslaughter.

Woolley’s case bore many similarities to the July 13 shooting of Bich Cau Thi Tran by San Jose police officer Chad Marshall. Both shootings drew public outrage and involved victims who were not white. The officers said they acted in self-defense and were accused of overreacting with deadly force to a harmless threat.

But what is especially telling about the failed prosecution of Woolley is that in some ways, his behavior seems more difficult to justify than that of Marshall, the officer in the Tran case. While Marshall faced a woman wielding a large, sharp instrument — which turned out to be a vegetable peeler — Woolley shot an unarmed man who was running away from him.

Woolley was a 27-year-old patrol officer when he stopped motorist John Henry Smith Jr., 37, for allegedly making an illegal U-turn Sept. 19, 1971. Smith, a black IBM research technician on his way home from a date, angrily protested the traffic stop when two off-duty officers who lived nearby happened on the scene.

Police said Smith threatened the officers with a tire iron. Woolley said he tried to subdue Smith with tear gas, then sent his police dog after him as he slipped free and fled toward an apartment complex.

As Smith reached the apartments, Woolley fired a single shot from his .45-caliber pistol, killing the unarmed man. Woolley later said he acted in self-defense, fearing Smith would arm himself once inside the apartments.

Community tension prompted calls for outside investigations. Two months later, a grand jury indicted Woolley on charges of manslaughter and using illegal tear gas.

At Woolley’s trial, Davies told jurors the unarmed Smith posed no threat when he was shot. There was evidence Woolley threatened to kill Smith for suggesting he would sue over being tear-gassed. And officers said Smith had brandished a tire iron, but the tire iron turned out to fit one of their cars, not Smith’s.

Then-Police Chief Robert Murphy said afterward that he no longer believed Woolley was justified in the shooting. Woolley, who was later fired along with another officer, lives in Placerville and declined comment. The city paid $30,000 to settle lawsuits on behalf of Smith’s three children.

Though other fatal police shootings have been controversial since then, none resulted in charges against the officers, let alone convictions. Officials declined calls for an open grand jury hearing into the 1976 shooting of unarmed Latino bartender Danny Trevino by two San Jose officers.

The first such open hearing was held 20 years later over the 1996 death of Gustavo Soto Mesa, a suspected drunken driver fatally shot in the back as he ran from a sheriff’s deputy. The grand jury declined to charge the deputy, who said his gun fired accidentally.

–Rogue

NEW PRINT AVAILABLE IN THE GULCH– From the master, Eric Herrmann, we bring you “Wired”. Inspired by a chopper he saw in Florida, built by Eddie Trotta’s Thundercycles. Now available in the Gulch.

DRAG RACING EFFORT–THE CONDEROSA–Miss Great Britain 2003 Nicki Lane in the pits with Neil Hodgson’s Ducati Fila 999F03 Superbike.The Fast Dates Calendar girls including Nicki were again tthis year the official Team Ducati Corse umbrella girlsat the 2003 Laguna Seca USA round of the World Superbike Championship.

History was made as “Nicki” Nicola Lane, formerly Miss Great Britain 1999, became the first girl to ever win the title twice. Nicki was sponsored for her home country British national pageant leading up to the Miss World competition by the FastDates.com Motorsports Calendars and Website, who’s sash she wore on stage during portions of the competition and when she was crowned at the end.

Nicki Lane will be familiar to American sportbike fans who may have seen her in America last summer 2002 where she was working with FastDates.com, serving as an official SBK World Superbike Fast Dates Calendar model at Laguna Seca World Superbike shooting for the calendar in the paddock with the top factory race bikes, and on Sunday Nicki also served as the official Team Ducati Corse umbrella girl for SBK World Superbike Champion Troy Bayliss.

Nicki again returned to America this year at the invitation of FastDates.com Calendar producer Jim Gianatsis and Paolo Ciabatti, Marketing Director at Ducati Corse, to be a Fast Dates Calendar model at Laguna Seca World Superbike where she also served as official Ducati Corse team umbrella girls on Sunday for the former British Superbike National Champion and now 2003 World Superbike Champion Neil Hodgson. “We couldn’t be more pleased to have FastDates.com be part of a such a world class championship winning combination.” said Paolo Ciabatti.

Visiting the vet from Bob T.

COFFEE AT STARBUCKS– An elderly Irish woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband’s sex drive …

“What about trying Viagra?” asks the doctor.

“Not a chance,” says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.”

“No problem.” replies the doctor. “Drop it into his coffee, he won’t even taste it. Try it and then call me in a week to let me know how thingswent.”

A week later, Mrs. Murphy calls the doctor and he inquired as to howthings went. “Oh, faith and bejaysus and begorrah, it was terrible, justterrible, doctor.”

“What happened?” asks the doctor.

“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, with a gleam in his eye and with hispants bulging fiercely!!! He swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop for hours!! It was terrible!”

“What was terrible?” said the doctor. “Was the sex not good?”

“Oh no, doctor, the sex was the best I’ve had in 25 years, but I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again.”

–Bob T.

A TRIBUTE TO MAN AND MACHINE!–Headwinds? the leader in custom headlights, introduces their ?Mens Room? T-shirt. This high quality Tee, celebrates the sanctuaries where men gather to admire all of the cool rides. Made of 100% cotton, Hanes Beefy-T.

Available in sizes S-2XL.

Contact HEADWINDS? at 626/359-8044 or visit us on the web at WWW.HEADWINDS.COM

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THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at <

Author and freedom fighter, Gunny

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

The riding season for the most part is over here in the Great Northwest, at least as far as camping events are concerned. We have a couple of swap meets coming up in the next few months to kind of keep things alive for the winter, along with some toy runs. So, at least we won’t be completely idle during those months of drizzle! Most Northwest riders are used to a little rain, anyway. Like we say around here, if you don’t ride in the rain, you don’t ride in Oregon!

Last month, ABATE of Oregon held the End Of Summer Run, and let me tell you if you weren’t there you missed a whale of a good time. I don’t know when I’ve had so much fun. The bike games were a real hoot, especially this game called “SHIT, the old man’s home!” The contestants were gettin’ into it, jumping through a mock bedroom window and firing up their bike for the quickest getaway, and it was hilarious. One old boy lost his britches trying to get himself out the window! The whole run was great, and all in all a really satisfying way to end the DRY riding season.

GRESHAM, OREGON: A victory to report here, and victory is always sweet. We’d reported here a few issues back (past issues of the Sack are available to read in our online archives, at www.AIMNCOM.com, and click on “news”).

To sum it up, the Gypsy Joker MC had a poker run, open to ALL bikers. It was their “strip-poker run,” to girlie joints. Now they come up to our Portland suburb of Gresham, home of recent Miss America Katy Harmon, and we come to find out that the police were bored or paranoid or god-knows-what, but they not only stopped the pack; they treated it as a gosh-darn felony stop! EVERYONE, passengers too, face-down on the pavement, cuffs behind ’em, in the full sun on a 95-degree day. All this for the infractions of supposedly SOME or a FEW of them running a red light, at the end of the pack.

Cops claimed they ran one light – very unlikely, to say the least. Four of the bikers were also charged with FELONY Attempting to Elude a Police Vehicle! So, EVERYONE who was cited – most of them members of GJMC – they ALL pleaded NOT guilty.

My boss here – and now I gotta tell ya, I’m proud of the man when I hear this – Sam Hochberg decided that THIS one was just too outrageous, so he offered to defend ALL of the bikers cited for infractions only, FREE of charge, or “pro bono,” as the lawyers say. A lot of you Sack readers know Sam. He’s been our Oregon AIM (Aid to Injured Motorcyclists) Lawyer for about 15 years now, handling accident claims for bikers and others, and doing a lot of this sort of pro-bono work, like our other AIM attorneys across the country. On this one, he had the backing of the Oregon Confederation of Clubs (COC), as a Justice Project they support. Sam’s also the COC’s legal counsel, which he ALSO does pro bono, which means “for the public good.”. Well, this one was for his OWN good, too. Sam’s been a rider for nearly all his years since he was a pup of 21 in NYC, back in ’71.

ANYHOW, on one fine September afternoon in Gresham, sixteen bikers showed up for the trial, and they all testified, and damned if Judge Albrecht, Multnomah County Circuit Court, didn’t find ’em ALL NOT GUILTY! Took her almost two weeks to sift through all the notes Sam says he saw her taking, but she sent out a letter to Sam, and there were cheers in Mudville that night. Sam wanted to make sure that I’d print the names of some of the people who helped Sam bring that victory: First, our new AIM (Aid to Incarcerated Motorcyclists, in this instance) Criminal Defense Lawyer, JIM RICE.

Jim helped handle the prep and defended one of the bikers, so he and Sam BOTH got to talk to every witness. Jim is the guy who talked about the US PATRIOT ACT at the WEST COAST REGIONAL NCOM Conference back in November ’02 here in Portland. Jim’s a member of OVMA, an Oregon Vets biker association, and MANY ABATE people contributed to Jim’s campaign when he ran for Oregon Supreme Court. His campaign poster had him astride a Harley, with his “OVMA” insignia displayed. Besides Jim, Sam says that our biker-veterinarian, Dr. Darryl Leu, did a terrific job testifying, and he made an excellent photographic record and narrative description of the whole incident!!

Oh, and member of the Brother Speed MC of Portland was going to testify on what Sam says was a “collateral matter,” whatever THAT is, but then he didn’t need him after all. He knows who he is, and his willingness to help was MUCH appreciated. And to throw in my OWN two cents, I gotta hand it to the Gypsy Joker MC for standing up for their rights. I mean, y’can’t fight ’em if y’don’t take the time to take a stand, even on the small battles. My hat’s off to them, to Sam Hochberg, and to all the people he thanked. Sometimes, you just have draw the line.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA: Two San Francisco groups representing seniors and pedestrians came out swinging against a city supervisor’s proposal to allow some parking of motorcycles on sidewalks. I’m not so sure I don’t agree with them, in principal at least. I don’t like the idea just because it would put my ride in harms way from the “touchy-feely” people who run around laying their dirty paws on everything in sight!

I don’t want some fool thinking he can sit on my bike just because it’s there. There is always the danger of somebody knocking it over and maybe hurting someone and then getting my butt sued. It would be much simpler to designate one car space at the end of each block for bikes like they do in Salem, Oregon. It works folks, and doesn’t cost anybody a red cent.

HERPES on 2 wheels: Well here’s another goofy TV ad making goofs of bikers. This commercial shows a guy hopping onto some generic motorcycle. The voice-over you hear is yakking about “freedom” and how good it feels to be out there on the road, while we’re watching the biker rounding curves on some beautiful road somewhere. Turns out the ad is for VALTREX, which is some sorta stuff you take to stop herpes sores on your whatsis. So, in other words, they figure BIKERS are the kind of people who are more likely to GET VENEREAL DISEASE? My boss Sam Hochberg went online to check this out, and sure enough, even on their own website, www.valtrex.com, the same actor from the TV ad is there online with a bike in the background, a young chickie with him in the foreground, and he’s carrying a helmet around. I think a lot of the wives and husbands of bikers might think that this “Bikers-get-VD” stereotype is going a little too darn far! Me, I just think it’s just kinda dumb, that’s all. But, if y’got a gripe, I’d go to their website and give ’em a piece of your mind!

MIAMI, FL: When it comes to saving lives, most non-riders DON’T think about motorcycles! They figure just the opposite; that you’ll get yourself KILLED on one of “those things.” Well, turns out that in a medical emergency, motorcycles have the edge. Four-wheeled vehicles have their hands full just trying to get through the mess a traffic accident causes. You lose too much time for the wrong person, and they will DIE as a result. So, bikes are perfect! Motorcycle medics can get around traffic snafu’s much faster than an ambulance, so now yet another community is using them!

Miami-Dade Fire and Rescue’s MERT, the Motorcycle Emergency Response Team, consists of 10 BMW bikes, each one fitted with the most critical lifesaving tools. The biker-medics travel in pairs. The time saved by using bikes allows for critical extra treating time the injured, and it’s saving lives! We’ve reported in the Sack on biker medics in other cities and countries around the world, and I’ll KEEP doing it, ‘cuz it just makes SO much danged sense!

BIKERKISS.COM: We’ve heard about computer dating for years, but here’s one just for bikers! Here’s what they say about themselves: “A great group helps riders in your city and nearby areas to share their favorite riding areas, trails, dual-sport rides, and motorcycle news. Membership is open to all, whether single, couple or family.” Way to go, folks. Sign up and meet the love of your life. Neat idea.

Keep the round side on the bottom folks!Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff