Just returned from San Jose and the CCI Dealer show. It was good to see old pals and sense the progress in the industry. Hot stuff in every booth. Bike lifts are cool and Kendon has one that folds up in the corner of your garage. Watch for it on Bikernet soon. Let’s hit the news:
The Robb Report MotorCycling – Coming To A Newstand Near You
Malibu, CA – (MCNW) Robb Report magazine publisher CurtCo Media announced the establishment of Robb Report MotorCycling, a luxury lifestyle publication targeted to the affluent two-wheeled enthusiast.
Embracing the creativity and passion that drives the motorcycle lifestyle, the new publication will offer stunning photography and compelling editorial developed specifically for the most discriminating reader. A staff of seasoned editors and photographers, themselves all lifelong riders, will offer an array of feature articles; from reviews of the newest high-quality bikes to interviews with noted motorcycle riders to weekend adventures celebrating the most fabulous roads in the world.
Watch for Brenda Fox to be a major contributor.
Pay Back
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his buddies.
There were 57 photos in that envelope….along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky
–from Dr. Hamster
Bubba Sunday
Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf as she was waiting for Joe Bob to finish waiting on a customer. When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked how much for the teapot?
Joe Bob replied “That’s silver and it costs $100!”
“My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!” Mary Louise exclaimed. She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and Jo Bob went to the backroom to find a hinge.
From the backroom Joe Bob yelled “Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?’
To which Mary Louise replied “No, but I will for the teapot.”
A Religious Moment
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself.
As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing. He ran even faster, crying in fear.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out “Oh my God!….”
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, “You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don’t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”
The atheist looked directly into the light “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?”
“Very well,” said the voice. The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.
Then the bear dropped his right paw ….. brought both paws together…bowed his head and spoke: “Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful.”
–from Joan C.
More Bullshit. More Court Deals
People Need To Contact This Court and File objections to this and Demand Jail Time. If I few people go to jail for this maybe this bullshit will slow down and hopefully someday stop.
–ROGUE
Common Accident Report
This is for all us that ride motorcycles, wether it be Harleys or any brand, so please take the time to read this. Three weeks ago, I had the opportunity to take a ride with the ABATE of Ohio group from Warren Co. Ohio. It was a beautiful fall day, sunny and clear, not cloud in the sky. About half way thru the ride Bob Bryant told us that he had to leave, he had a prior engagment. So we all said our goodbyes and split up. Less than an hour later, we were informed Bob had been in an accident. A car had cut across in front of him at an intersection. Of course this put damper on the remainder of the ride, cause we were concerned for Bob and his family. Less than an hour later, we were told Bob didn’t make it to the hospital, we were shocked that a good man like him had been taken from us. He was the kind of man who would do anything for anyone, especially kids.
Last night at the Fairfield Chapter meeting of HOG, Bob was a member, we were told that the sentencing of the girl who hit Bob was to be on the 28th of Oct. She is to recieve 90 days (suspended) and a fine. Now I don’t about you guys and gals, but I think my life is worth more than 90 days (suspended) and a fine. But her parents had hired two mouthpieces and they had cut a deal with the local DA, your tax dollars at work.
The Judge said it’s was all Bob’s fault for riding without a helmet, and for riding a motorcycle in the first place. This is after the girl admits to being on her ear held voice activated life support system (cellphone) and cutting in front of Bob. Now, if you ask me this smacks of prejudice. So the HOG group is going to be there for the sentencing, we are going to ride up to be a public but silent protest of this miscarriage of justice. Now, here comes the part that chaps my ass. The girl’s mom was interviewed and made some remarks to the effect, that her daughter was such a sweet young thing and should be given a second chance she could get, because “all bikers are nothing but druggies anyway”.
Now what gives this woman the right to generalize and make these statments about people she doesn’t even know? Let her come to a HOG meeting, or a Toys for Tots Run and say these things. She doen’t know people like Bob, who owned a soccer field and would do anything for anybody, so we need to get this out and hope something can be done in the future to stop this kind of prejudice and foul use of justice against bikers. I hope you guys read this and get it out, forward it to anyone and print it off and post it on bulletin bouards something has to be done.
Thank you…… Michael Estes Covington KY.
–from Rogue
Fuel Injection Fix
I ran into Alan Alvarez this weekend. He has created the new electronic ignition system for all Rev Tech motors and a full-on programmable ignition system for fuel injected models. Check it out.
MEMO TO: Department of Defense
I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet. Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women, we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers. Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hope of seeing a naked woman.
We would have no more hijackings and the airline industry would have record sales.
Now why didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
–from Joan C.
Dakotawinds–You are way off again!
The following is in response to a Janklow statement: He would never do this type of thing on purpose we know but remember the “Janklow/Bush” bashers of times recent? The Janklow Bashers blaming the death of the teen Gina Score at the teen boot camp on the man just because he was Gov? I have no doubt that this tragedy will be exploited by them and the media.
**It wasn’t the fact that he was Gov of SD with the Gina Score issue. It was more of the fact that he so obviously wanted nothing to do with the whole case to start with. He knew the boot camp was liable and in the wrong but he didn’t want to do a damn thing about it but cover it up.
As for never doing this thing on purpose I have seen from his record that this type of behavior is common for him. He addmitted several times that he speeds. He should have lost his licence long time ago and spent time in jail too, maybe then Randy would be alive today. Everytime Janklow got behind the wheel and speed he knew he ran the risk of killing someone. Personally the second degree manslaughter is to leanient of a charge. I think it should have been first degree manslaughter or premeditated murder.
We know that Bill Janklow was taveling excessive speed (20 mph over) but an accident cause has not been determined. ** Yes the cause has been determined it’s called stupidity on Janklow’s part.
It is known he went through the stop sign but that is not the final cause of the accident. It’s what happened that he didn’t see the sign or the biker that is the cause leading to a chain of events causing the accident.
** Didn’t see the stop sign. Janklow has driven that road enough to know where the stop signs are at. That excuse don’t hold water with me at all. As to not seeing Randy is poppy cock too. He should have stopped at the stop sign just like all of us do. He thinks he can make up his own driving laws and rules of the road to fit his own purpose.
It will be interesting to see what exactly happened for a cause of this accident. “I have over 300,000 miles on my belt in 10 years and have been to many accidents. I will explain what I think “may” have happened causing the accident in a later posting. We are all guilty of it.”
** Big deal on the number of miles under your belt, I know alot of people who put that amount under their belts per year due to trucking or being a salesperson.
My heart also goes out to Bill Janklow and the family of the victim of this accidental death.
**well you can send your heart out to Janklow but that doesn’t mean I have to and I won’t.
My heart does go out to Randy and his family though. I vaguely knew Randy due to my cousin used to work for him on his feedlot before my cousin died of cancer a few years back. When we were at my cousins place Randy was there and he was at my cousin’s funeral and Randy was a great guy, a true loss that can not be replaced anytime soon if ever.
Travis Vaughn
Rochester, Minnesota USA
–from Rogue
Because I’m Dead
An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, “Don’t touch me!”
“Why not?” he asks.
She answers back, “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to one another.”
She says, “No, I’m definitely dead.”
He insists, “You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?”
She says, “Nothing hurts.”
–from Joan C.
Ride Fore Heroes Success Story Just wanted to drop you all a note. We cut a check for well over $10,000 to the UFA’s Widow’s and Children’s Fund. We are very proud and want to thank everyone for making the 2003 Ride for the Heroes a huge success!
–Frank Falco
More Reasons for SEX
Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
–from Rogue
Help Show Your Support for our Military Veterans, POW’s and MIA’s
Bikernews.net wants to send some vets from the McQuire VA Medical Center (Richmond, VA) to Washington for Rolling Thunder on Memorial Day, 2004, and we need your support. 90% of all profits from all sales of POW/MIA items in our store, as well as 90% of all donations received between now and May 2004 will go to the fund to rent a van or bus to take as many as we can afford, as well as feed them once we get there. We will also be coordinating a Bike Run to the Pentagon the morning of Rolling Thunder, where the Vets will follow us up.
We will also be holding a Poker Run, as well as a separate Memorial Run between now and May 2004. The Dates have yet to be determined. Any business wishing to donate items for either run, can do so by contacting us through our contact form. Any credit card denotations can be submitted through the links below. If you would like to donate by check or money order, contact us and we’ll provide you with an address to send it to.
We will also be selling T-shirts, pins, flags and other items you can purchase, the day of the event.
–for more info see Bikernews.net
Sven and Olaf
Sven and Olaf worked together in a factory and both were laid off. So dey went to the Unemployment Office togeder. Asked his occupation, Olaf said, “Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies cotton panties.”
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Olaf $300 a week in unemployment pay.
Sven was asked his occupation he replied, “Diesel Fitter.” Since Diesel Fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.
When Olaf found this out, he was furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his benefits.
The clerk explained, “Panty Stitchers are unskilled and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor.”
“What skill?”, yelled Olaf. “I sew da elastic on da panties.”
Olaf puts dem over his head and says, “yah, DIESEL FITTER!”
–from Dr. Hamster
Around The World On A Motorcycle Belarus Minsk, a 62-year-old Russian, made an overnight stop in Mapleton last week on his trek around the world on his 1990 Jawa 350 motorcycle. Belarus started his journey on May 27, 2000. He has traveled 109,000 km in 29 countries, 49,500 km in the U.S.A., 11,000 km in Canada and has also been to Hawaii and Alaska. He has been to 49 of the states-Minnesota is the only state left and he was heading that way. Another unusual thing about this feat is that Belarus is deaf and mute. He hopes to get in the Guiness Book of World Records. News is provided by the Outsider from various sources and posted on http://www.bikernews.net
How To Build Your Own Kit Bike–By Tim Remus
Building your own motorcycle has never been easier. No longer do you have to buy a frame from one manufacturer and the wheels from another – and wonder if all the parts will fit together. Today you can buy a complete rolling chassis or a complete motorcycle from one company.
How To Build a Kit Bike explains how to choose the best kit and then assemble those parts into a complete running motorcycle.
Four start-to-finish assembly sequences cover the construction of a soft-tail from Custom Chrome, a Y2K bike from Arlen and Cory Ness, a right side drive/250 bike from Biker’s Choice, and a soft-tail Chopper kit from American Thunder. Additional chapters cover: Kit selection, Tools, How to Title and Insure the new bike, and Drivetrain selection.
If you own a kit or plan to buy a kit bike, this is the book you need designed to help you turn that pile of parts into your very own, very cool motorcycle.
See bikes built in the shops of: Cory Ness, Kendall Johnson and American Thunder.
Includes: Soft-tail and rubber-mount chassis designed for both left and right side drive, powered by both Evo and TC 88B power.
144 pages, over 300 photos and illustrations (over 50% in color). Price: $24.95 + S&H. Avialable here in the book section of the Gulch.
SELECT A SHOP ABOVE
OR SIMPLY CLICK HERE!
FOR EVEN MORE SELECTIONS!
That’s It–I need to hit the brick pile. Next week we’ll hit it hard with the first build of the Beach Ride Bike project, a Goliath from CCI. We’ll do our damnedest to feed you every goddamn thing you need to know about building a kit. We used the above book by Tim Remus for reference. Also Frank Kaisler’s 100th Report will hit the airways. If we’re real good, Sinwu may post the Crazy Horse Sturgis Saga and we have a new wild fiction story to tell.
Hang on. Let’s hit the bricks, watch a game or go for a ride. I’d mutter something about chasin’ women, but I’m in enough trouble.
Ride Forever,
–Bandit
