October 24, 2002 Part 2

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Photo from Bob T. See more by joining Bandit’s Cantina.

WHEN THE LAST BIKER FALLS–When The Last Biker FallsAuthor UnknownThe old ones stand out now, their numbers dwindling down.They are a sad lossto the American scene, these individualists with the worn down clothes andfaces.

You can still see them sometimes, the real ones. Some in packs, not as largeas a while ago. Sometimes alone. The ones alone are best. One who’s beenthere a long time, staying in the life he loves, never giving into a systemthat sucks you up like a vortex if you slip just one foot into it. He’s gothis connections, a few just like him, that care for and protect each other.Hanging onto the only unique lifestyle left. Like old dinosaurs, their facesare leathered and rough by forty, but their eyes are still sharp and knowing.Some are gray in the beards and braids, some are limp in the step and somewith pain in their kidneys.

Still they know no other life is life, but merely a dreary journey intoeveryone else’s monotony. He looks at the new ones, then turns away, knowingthey will never know of life on the road and the women who can take it.Wild, loving women who will hang in with them, because they love it too. Awoman with a wild heart and a loyal soul, that’s what’s needed here. The newones are young and shiny and a bit too clean. They are born into a systemthat has an iron grip now.

I think it’s a mystique, even to the old ones, why this life is theirs, butit is, and it’s the only one. When the last Biker falls, like the dinosaur,the sun will go down on a breed of heart-of-gold, tough-as-nails, freespirited men, who even at their worst, love what’s theirs and protect it.

In a world wide system that is making all people as alike as manufactureddolls, the earth will be a duller place…..

When the last Biker falls…….

THE TEN BEST HALLOWEEN SLOGANS–

10. She’s a goblin!
9. I’d like to get a little somethin in the sack tonight.
8. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
7. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
6. If you just lick it, it will last longer.
5. Let me see your big sack.
4. Can I eat your zagnuts?
3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
2. You scared me stiff!

And the dirtiest sounding but not-dirty Halloween saying is… He’s got candy spread out on the living room floor!

–Rogue

BEACH RIDE REPORT–The Beach Ride is a charity ride for the Exceptional Childrens Foundation in Los Angeles in July. It’s sponsored by Bikernet in addition to Bartels’ Harley-Davidson and many others. This year the beach has been moved to Frazer Park south of Bakersfield. Carmels, one of the ECF’s lovely directors recently told us of a donor who owns aresort in Arizona near the Grand Canyon. He said he has groups of 600-1000bikers at a time spend a weekend there. He offered us his resort if we wantto expand to have a Beach Ride-Arizona in addition to our originalRide.

It would be a relief to find an area for a run and make it work for everyone. Daytona is trying to kick bikers out, Laughlin won’t be friendly next year, Sturgis is raping the vendors. It might be time for a new more user-friendly event.

More reports will be coming shortly.

DEAR ABBY–I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. Myfiancee’s mother is not only very attractive but really great andunderstanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me toher place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyondwhat we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the listand trimmed it down to just under a hundred … then she floored me. Shesaid that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened,she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to herbedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wantedto leave.

I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactlyhow to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door…:There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. Hewas smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kidand would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and hecongratulated me on passing their little test.

Abby, should I tell my fiancee’ what her parents did, and that I thoughttheir “little test” was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should Ikeep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I waswalking out to my car was to get a condom?

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET BLUERIDGE REPORT–Sherry and I just got back from a three day ride on the Blue Ridge Parkway, All Sherry and I said to each other for three days was, “Wow!” We rode Mountain roads thru fog, mist and sunshine. We dodged, passed and buzzed gawking tourists the whole time under autumn leaves and a spectacular show of nature.

This road follows the ridge line of the Appalation Mountains from Virginia to Tennessee for 460 miles of limited access. You must experience this marvel of 1930’s engineering to appreciate the wonder of this incredible National Treasure. No words can describe this roadway, that winds thru tunnels, crosses over bottomless gorges and skirts mountain peaks. You just need to take some time off, grab the sweetie and do this.

–Karl, the Chief, and his wife Sherry

THE BIKERNET PET SUMMARY–A man who absolutely hated his wife’s cat decided to get rid of him oneday by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at thepark….As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway….

The nextday, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and the same again….Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the catfurther and further and the darn cat would always beat him home.

Atlast, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, pastthe bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what hethought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there….

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the catthere?”

“Yes”, the wife answers… Why do you ask?”

Frustrated, theman answered:”Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I’m lost and need directions!”

–from Bob T.

GLENDALE, CA – Sheryl Crow, Mick Fleetwood & Friends, and JeffersonStarship will headline Love Ride 19, the largest motorcycle fundraisingevent in the world, on Sunday, November 10. Grand Marshal Jay Leno,Honorary Grand Marshal Peter Fonda, and a host of celebrity bikers will lead20,000+ motorcyclists on a 50-mile caravan from Harley-Davidson of Glendale,California, to a barbecue, trade show, and concert at Castaic Lake.Proceeds will benefit Reading By 9, MDA, and other charities. In 18 years,the Love Ride has raised over $15 million.

Sign up is 6am-9am on Sunday, November 10 at Harley-Davidson of Glendale,with a 90-minute Jefferson Starship concert at 7:00am, followed by acelebrity press conference at 8:45a.m. The caravan of bikes departs toCastaic Lake at 9:15am.

Festivities at Castaic Lake will begin at 11 a.m. until 4 p.m. (gatesopen at 10am). Mick Fleetwood & Friends perform at 11:45am followed bySheryl Crow at 1:15. The minimum donation is $60, or $50 if you sign-up inadvance online (www.loveride.org) or at Harley-Davidson of Glendale beforeNovember 5, 2002. For larger donations, participants qualify to receive avariety of prizes, including a 2003 100th Anniversary Harley-Davidson V-Rodand a 2003 Ford Harley-Davidson F-150.

Harley-Davidson of Glendale is located at 3717 San Fernando Road betweenLos Feliz Blvd. and Glendale Avenue. For more information, call (818)246-5618, extension 7.

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