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BIKERNET TRAVELER’S ADVICE–A man and a woman are sitting next to each other in first class on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs.
The man isn’t sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs.
The man is about to go nuts. He can’t believe that he’s seeing what he’s seeing.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.
The man has finally had all he can handle.
He turns to the woman and says, “Three times you’ve sneezed, and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped it between your legs! What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?”
The woman replies, “I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. I have a rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”
The man, now feeling bad, says, “Oh, I’m sorry. What are you taking for it?”
The woman looks at him and says, “Pepper.”
MILLER BREWING, BEER AND BIKERS– Miller Brewing Company has partnered with the AMA and the Wisconsin Department of Transportation to create a program urging riders to drink responsibly and not ride impaired. The campaign, called “Keep Your Balance,” began at the Fall Ride, a rally in Wisconsin, and will go nationwide next year.
Free 20-minute phone cards will be given to riders to be used to call for a safe ride home if needed. On the back of the card are safe riding tips provided by the AMA and the Wisconsin DOT and information on alcohol responsibility from Miller’s “Respect the Road” program. T-shirts and other incentives will also be given to riders who sign pledges to ride responsibly. Billboards and banners will promote the campaign at this week’s rally.
Miller plans to take the campaign nationwide next year by providing materials to distributors across the country. For more, see the Keep Your Balance website
DOUGZ SELECTED AS ONE OF S&S CYCLES’S 50TH ANNIVERSARY BUILDERS– Earlier this year I received a call from Brett Smith – President of S&S Cycle – asking if I was interested in being one of 50 builders to complete a bike in celebration of their 50th Anniversary. How could I turn down a once in a lifetime opportunity like that?
I am so honored to have DOUGZ included in this celebration and look forward to next June when the La Crosse area will host this awesome event and will bring in some of the best known builders in the world including Arlen and Cory Ness as well as Cory’s son Zach, Donnie Smith, Brian Klock, the Teutul’s, Jim Nasi, and so many more. DOUGZ will compete head-to-head with Arlen, Jim Nasi , the Orange County boys, Marcus Walz and others in the X-Wedge engine category and fully intend to show our competitors what else comes out of Wisconsin besides the fabulous S&S powerplants, beer, cheese and the Packers!
–Doug Wozney
DOUGZ Custom Paint & Fabrication LLC
2323 Palace St. La Crosse, Wi. 54603
(608) 783-3684
LIFESTYLE BIKE OF THE WEEK! 2005 AMERICAN IRONHORSE SLAMMER ONLY $25,995.00– ONLY $25,995.00– NOT ON OUR WEBSITE … YET! This 2005 IronHorse Slammer has everything you could want in a pro street bike! Powerful 111 cubic inch S&S motor, 2 into 1 exhaust, 6-speed right side drive trans, air ride suspension, awesome real flame paint, billet wheels with matching rotors and pulley and much more! This Slammer also comes with a travel bag and tool kit bag, as well as an American IronHorse Slammer bike cover and passenger pad. Don’t wait on this one!
CALL LIFESTYLE CYCLES BIKE SALES DEPT. (714) 490-0155
BIKERNET JIMS SUNDAY TOOL, Twin Cam INNER CAM BEARING INSTALLER– This tool will install the two inner cam needle bearings on Twin Cam 88?. It perfectly aligns to the shaft bores for a precision press fit.
No.1278 – Use on all Twin Cam 88?, 1999-06 FL, 1999-05 FXD, and 2000-06 FXST.
Suggested Retail Price: $ 121.20
–JT Lepien
www.jimsusa.com
FIRST ANNUAL HAITI RUN UNDERWAY–All cool, ready to go, got the ferry tickets and everything, my friend Haitian Hillbilly is there already and setting other things up. Already the connections are done with my old friends from Dominican Republic. I will do a diary and let you know what’s up, if i find internet service. I am really looking forward to this trip, something different and new, the interest from Haiti’s government is huge, which is cool, and they are helping out with everything.
About the new PUERTO RICAN law, and I must talk about it…. Just mere stupidity on the government donkeys…. The “new” law, which is mostly based in retarded laws, that exist since the ’60s and never been enforced, in 2000 we got another, set of retarded laws, and no one cared. This time politicians just used the media, press and all their bullshit tactics to make everyone aware of this crap.
Their argument is that in the past two years 85 fatalities ocurred, twice as many as before, but also the amount of registered bikes doubled during that time. As you might figure out, by basic math, it all stays the same.
The trick is that they want to charge 20 more dollars registration annual fees.. Yes , we are being penalized because we ride motorcycles.
Since not too many people did something when we had to, now everyone is bitchin’ about it, but at the same time you see them with the stupid highway cone reflector shit, even during the day, but alas, getting hammered at local bars…Oxymoron.
Knowing my home, people (COPS) will forget about all this shit in due time, maybe a couple months or so, and we will keep on riding , our style… The way it should be…. Still we will have the fucking 20 bucks per year more, plus giving us the shaft by having to get a special sticker to be able to ride motorcycles on toll roads…
When the dust settles, and believe me I will write a detailed article about this soon, the 250 thousand given by MSF plus the 250 thousand that the local government will match… To “create” the new spaces for the new licensing??? (yearly) plus another $20.00 times 140 thousand……
All money… and all I can say is fuck them, I will keep breaking the law….
–JOSE
D&D PIPES DO THE JOB– Its not often it seems these days that an online business actually knows what customer service is, but D&D exhaust does! I ordered a Fatcat, black for my new build and the heat shield had a problem with the powdercoat, called the tech service number, told them what happened, they said no problem, we will send out replacements right away. But get this, I DID NOT have to send in my exhaust first, they sent me out the replacement and asked me to send back the defective parts!
Man after dealing with some of the online assholes like Gopartsdirect.com, this is great! So, although you might pay a little extra going through them, if you have a problem its well worth it.
Better yet my 98″ runs like a bat outta hell with the fatcat, whoooa!
THE GO DADDY GIRL TEAMS WITH MAC TOOLS DOUG KALITTA IN THE WINNER’S CIRCLE– The count down to the AHDRA championship is on. With only three races left and twelve under our belt, it’s off to the “The Rock” in Rockingham, NC this weekend for the “Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts Nationals” weekend with the AHDRA in Rockingham, NC. Oct. 12-14th.
In the last couple of weeks Recon and I have covered 1,700 miles and are glad to be home here at Mickey’s place in NC. As you may recall, we blew a motor in Richmond. Well, after repairs were made we drove to Eagle Harley-Davidson in Indiana to pick-up the fresh new motor and with no time to waste my sidekick and I made a quick turnaround and drove to Richmond Va. for the Torco Racing Fuels NHRA Nationals at the Virginia Motorsports Park on Oct 5-7.
I had an action packed weekend thanks to my sponsor, host and the world’s best tool company – MAC Tools. As an important Associate Sponsor of VTR Team 2007, I was anxious to represent them for my first NHRA National appearance. I was there with my AHDRA Sponsored Go Daddy.com – Hacienda Harley-Davidson V-Rod Destroyer, went through 4,000 autograph posters and took a ton of photos with my new fans. Brian Honeycutt and Alan Stadler from Mac Tools district 22 treated me like a queen and gave me a wonderful set-up to work in.
I’ve only been to few NHRA events and just love going. These incredible events offer worldclass competition and entertainment for the whole family. When I strolled into the MAC Tools Pit and Hospitality area after Saturday’s qualifying I saw more that VTR needs to prepare for when it makes its debut in the NHRA next year?did I just say that? Well?I’ll get back to you on that in about a week. Anyway, the MAC Tools set-up was the coolest thing and would be dream come true for this girl who was already in Tool Heaven. Mac Tools distributor’s and my new friends Brian & Alan hosted a wonderful dinner for the entire crew where everyone celebrated their MAC Tool Top-Fuel Dragster victory. This was also my chance to meet the great Mac Tools racer Doug Kalitta and his crew?what an awesome team!!
Sunday the Nitro-bike fans were back for the last day of their exhibition while the Pro Stock Bikes were given the weekend off as scheduled. The AHDRA Top Fuel Nitro bikes were there to give the crowed a big show and most fans thought the riders were crazy. The stands were packed with NHRA loving fans and cars filled the interstate for miles trying to get in. Doug Kalitta, driver of the 330-mph, “Big Red” Mac Tools Top Fuel dragster got their first win of the 2007 POWERade Drag Racing Series. I was so happy for the team and even got to be in the NHRA’s winner’s circle?for the first time. I stood right their next to Doug and got to hold his WALLY during pictures! I hope to have some of the winner’s luck this weekend in Rockingham.
Being at the NHRA event was perfect timing for me. I enjoyed walking around and looking at how all of the teams worked together with one goal in mind; be fast. I learned how things were set up, how teams ran their pits and was reminded how Nitro Alley is like Disney Land for us motor-heads. If you have never been then make plans for your next family vacation because it’s a blast.
I can’t thank enough my new friends at MAC Tools for their hospitality and sharing their winning experience with me and once again congratulations on your big win.
Thanks also to Dorothy & Jay Turner who watched over Recon, Eric at MTC Engineering for the tickets and Brenda & Benny for giving me a bed Saturday!!
And by the way, I’d like to welcome Olympian Amanda Beards, 7-Time Olympic Medalist to the Go Daddy Team. She’s going to be a great GoDaddy Girl. Looking forward to meeting you!!
Take care Blog readers! Now, it is off to do what I do best, go in a straight line in Rockingham!
Valerie #20
5-BALL Racing Team Member
Bikernet.com
CYCLE VISIONS BAREBACKS DOCKING HARDWARE FOR SISSYBARS– BareBacks for heritage softail, heritage softail Springer, fatboy, Softail Standard & Dyna New & Improved. Larger diameter with spring-loaded locks.
Our NEW patented system works flawlessly with OEM saddlebags and can be used with or without docking hardware for sissybars. BareBacks? are constructed from the highest quality 303 stainless steel. Bags can be removed in about 3 seconds!
Chromed aluminum caps can be snapped on the strut for a clean look. Specify make and model when ordering.
Available for most models. Patent #US6,293,450-B1.
–CycleVisions
4263 Taylor Street n San Diego, California 92110
619.295.7800
www.CycleVisions.com
GET THIS–The girls are constantly on me about slowing down, so natch, I agree. I figured, after Bonneville, let’s go to Hawaii and help with Deacon’s new Pro Street opening and relax for a few days. I even put in writing that we wouldn’t go back to Bonneville in ’08, take a break and ride to Alaska instead. No bike project deadlines.
So we start investigating the Bikernet Alaskan Adventure and maybe road-testing a bunch of Buells in the process. Then another beneficial notion surfaced. We were approached by a group of SD Indians about a charity event. We investigated and it fell apart, but not the Charity notion. Here’s what we developed. We will raffle off the Assalt Weapan for a Veterans’ charity, perhaps Wounded Warriors, and take the winner to Bonneville in ’09, as a member of the team. After Bonneville he or she will take ownership. We will display the Assalt Weapan at as many events as possible, and raise as much as we can. We’ll even take it to Sturgis in ’08 and ’09 just before Bonneville. Let me know your thoughts.
Okay, so we’re kicking back, right? We’re throwing shorts and boots in a bag for Hawaii and drinking Singapore slings, in anticipation. Well not exactly. Here’s the line-up for Monday-Thursday when we catch the plane: Tbears bike feature, Curt’s GOB, World Championship winners, Smoke Out Report, finish the Bonneville Book for Wolfgang, Keino’s bike feature, Choppahead DVD review (I watched it last night), a massive Wolfgang Donnie Smith build tech (I may learn something), and a Torrian vest road test. That’s just a start, plus a LA Choprods bike feature and the Thursday news. By the time I hit the plane, I’ll be a mess. Relax. Hell, I’m retired.
Let’s go for a ride,
–Bandit
