It’s a morning after a night that curled my toes. I don’t know about you, but there is heaven on earth, even during a time of terrorist attacks and political bullshit. Sometimes I truly believe that there are entire countries that don’t get it. Give me a woman with the touch of silk, candles and a sip of whiskey and I’m in heaven.
I once joked how guys can spend three years of their precious lives building the ultimate bike, then stand around gawking at it’s excellence, until a woman walked by. Then all eyes turn to admire the natural curves and conversation stops. It’s much more than just the lines of her body. What we see is in anticipation of her touch, her mystery, her lust, her imagination and her moves. It’s a mystery, if realized, a soothing pleasure beyond comprehension. It’s not just her, but a team effort like no other.
I suppose that’s why it can drive men out of their minds. On the otherhand, there’s no better sign of peace. Once the guys in Iraq start making love, the war will end. I’ll get back to that after the news.
Redneck 911 Call
A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He frantically blurts out to the operator, “O my gawd! Help! My friend just died. He’s Dead! What can I do?”
The operator, trying to calm him says, “Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!
The redneck comes back on the line and says, “OK, now what?”
–from Chris T.
Attention Brothers David Mann Needs Assistance
I got the following information from Keith Bandit Balls web site (bandit forgive me for borrowing this) Most of you know of the biker/artist David Mann. He is currently struggling with medical bills due to Easyriders droping all medical on him and his advanced COPD and arthritis. His Pan/shovel went up to pay the bills (on ebay) but it didn’t sell. Now ,If I’d of had what he wanted I would of bought it in a heart beat to help out.
Ok heres my point, people I’m asking for help, Me and a small growing list of bikers want to throw a benefit run and auction and give all proceeds to David Mann to help pay medical bills and other expenses he has incurred. I’m looking for people to help me set this up squeaky clean legit as well as people to donate , art , bike parts, Harley nic nacs what ever to the cause. I will provide a Hand signed copy of The poem I wrote about David with each item bought.
Forward this to all your friends that ride or enjoy fine art. And have them get back with me.
Respects,
–Pan
panheadjosh@webtv.net
His bike is for sale on E-Bay for about $25,000 (2440943445). Or if you would like to send a donation to help the biker artist with his doctor bills, his address is: David Mann, 9510 Parkwood Road, Kansas City, MO 64137
The Legendary David Mann
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old School Biker
Saying More
With A Brush
Then Most Say
With Words
His Paintings
Weave A Story
That Words Could
Not Write
Work So Life like
You Swear You
Can Watch It Take
Heavenly Flight
A Legend In His
Own Time
A Hero In This
Bikers Eyes
Long After
He Lays Down
His Pallet And Brush
His Works Will Live On
Years Of Living
Have Taken Their Toll
On His Righteous Soul
But David Mann
WIll Never Grow Old
Like A Child On
Christmas Eve
I Wait For The Next
Issue Of Biker
To See What David
Brought To Me
I Don’t Know If
He Will Ever
See These Words
But Never The Less
What I Write Is True
David Mann
America Loves
And Respects You
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written By Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World.
From The Bikernet Blonde Joke Files
A girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen”.
The surprised salesman replies:
But, madam, computers do not have curtains”!!!….
And the blonde said: “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chopper Ops Christmas Gift
63.5 mm COMPLETE FRONT END SPECIAL: Brand new Complete Front End with Billet Triple Trees, Steering Stem, Fork Legs, Axle, including Mounts for Fender and Brake. We don’t charge more for 3 or 6 degree trees, fender brackets, duel or single disk set up.
Offer is for 0, 3, or 6 degree trees and up to 6 over. If you require more then 6 over, just let me know, it’s not a big deal.
Make no mistake about it; this is a very high end part at a LOWER then dealer price. Merry Christmas.
$1800.00 plus $69.00 shipping USD. Canadian?s, please call.
CHOPPER OPS WHEELS: Want a Deal on Wheels? Yes, then contact Chopper Ops and ask for one. A Closed Mouth Never Gets Fed.
Chopper Ops wheels are manufactured by Industry Professionals who have been defining this wheel industry for many, many years. Chopper Ops wheels are made to exacting standards, and with there Classic look, will be with you for many years to come. Please feel free to compare our wheels to any on the market today. If you want a wheel manufactured by some of the best, you’ve come to the right place.
Don’t be fooled by our low prices. Chopper Ops has made it possible for you to own high end wheels at a reasonable price.
THE BEST CHROME HARDWARE ON THE PLANET. PERIOD: Tired of paying high prices for your chrome and polished hardware? Chopper Ops is the quality and price leader for chrome and polished fasteners. Our Price Guarantee: We will meet or beat any qualified pricing for stock items.
All of our chrome hardware is baked after plating. This is essential to maintaining the strength and integrity of the part. There are suppliers who don’t take this extra step.
All of our chrome screws and bolts are made from Grade 8 steel, providing superior performance over grade 5 fasteners.
Quality is essential. This Chrome Hardware started it’s business supplying fasteners for helicopters and military aircraft, the space shuttle and satellites, submarines and other critical applications. We know the importance of quality.
www.chopperops.com
The Cantina Product Of The Week
Slide a Stogy Barrel Cigar holder over your next cigar and keep your fingers cool. Made from polished stainless steel. Perfect for the guy/gal who has everything .
Aeromach Manufacturing
619-258-5443
Information: mailto:infoandquestions@aeromach.net
http://www.aeromachmfg.com
Better keep your dog inside till they catch this guy……….
–from Bob T.
Cops Gone Wrong
A dozen officers in Goose Creek, South Carolina stormed through the halls of Stratford High School with guns drawn, forcing 107 students to lay on the floor and submit to a drug dog search. Students were commanded to get on their knees with their hands behind their head, students who did not respond quick enough were put into handcuffs.
One student said, “I thought one of the guns was going to go off and shoot or kill somebody, so I just got down to my knees and covered my head for protection.”
The scene, which looks more like Iraq than a high school, was captured by the school surveillance cameras and then broadcast by the media.
The raid was an attempt to find marijuana, but no drugs were found.
One student said: “They would go put a gun up to them and push them against the wall and they would like take their bookbags.”
Parents were outraged at the raid, but principal George McCrackin said he would “utilise whatever forces that I deem necessary” to keep drugs out of the school.
State police are now investigating the incident.
–from Rogue
NEW STUDY: Frequent Sex Can Reduce Risk Of Colds
A new study by Carl J. Charnetski, professor of psychology, and Francis X. Brennan, Jr., assistant professor of psychology, at Wilkes University, suggests that the immune system is boosted by frequent sexual activity. Their research, “The Effect of Sexual Behavior on Immune System Function,” is being presented at the Eastern Psychological Association Convention in April.
“We found that individuals engaging in sexual activity once or twice a week have substantially higher levels of the antibody Immunoglobulin A (IgA) than individuals reporting no sexual activity or less than one occurrence a week,” says Charnetski.
The bad news for people hoping to have discovered a new way to prevent the common cold is that the researchers found that individuals engaging in very frequent sexual activity – more than two times a week – had significantly lower levels of IgA than those individuals reporting sexual activity once or twice a week.
“We also found no direct relationship between IgA and either length of relationship or sexual satisfaction,” says Brennan.
The researchers collected data on 111 undergraduate students – 44 male and 67 female – regarding the frequency of sexual encounters as defined by some form of genital contact with a partner. Information was gathered from the volunteers on length of relationship as well as satisfaction with one’s sexual relationships.
Charnetski and Brennan then took a measure of immune system function from each individual. Saliva samples were obtained and bio-assayed for Immunoglobulin A (IgA). IgA is the most prevalent of the five major antibodies present in one’s system. It is found in all mucosal linings of the body as well as the blood system.
IgA is an antibody produced by B lymphocytes and it forms a barrier against the entrance of disease, says Brennan Measuring IgA provides some information as to general immune system function. Secondly, IgA is found in all muscosa and provides a first line of defense against upper respiratory infection.
“This is one way of marking immunologic defense at any point in time and simply stated, more is better,” says Charnetski.
Four classifications of sexual frequency were derived from the data: No Sexual Activity; Infrequent Sexual Activity (less than one occurrence per week); Frequent Sexual Activity (one to two occurrences per week); and Very Frequent Sexual Activity (three or more occurrences per week).
“We found concentrations of IgA to be approximately one-third higher in the Frequent group as compared to all other categories, including the Very Frequent group,” says Charnetski.
The professors plan on attempting to identify specific mechanisms whereby sexual activity influences IgA in future studies. They are already in the process of analyzing data involving “Love” and IgA and how this may interact with their current research findings.
–from A. Friedman
Art of the Chopper Revs Up
St. Paul, Minn. (July 2003) ? With the conception and construction of custom chopper motorcycles, a new American art form is born. It?s indigenous, radical, expressive, sexy and as American as apple pie, captivating young and old alike. These works of art, found most often at Sturgis, Daytona and on the open road, are brought to life by MBI Publishing Company and world-renown rock ‘n? roll photographer Tom Zimberoff in a new hardcover book called the Art of the Chopper.
The book explores the personalities who spend countless hours crafting their machines through elegant, black-and-white photographs. Art of the Chopper also features the machine via large-format, rich, color photographs. The book conveys the designers? personalities and design philosophy in candid photos of each artist working in his environment, in addition to a brief biographical text. The reader gains a new appreciation for the beauty of these custom-built machines, and a better understanding of the culture and philosophy behind some of today?s hottest chopper builders. Art of the Chopper pays homage to custom motorcycle art and culture, and is a must-read for motorcycle, art and open-road enthusiasts the world over.
Zimberoff brings his photography savvy and experience to exquisite form as he chronicles the artists and their muses in Art of the Chopper. He uses his decades of photography experience touring with music icons like John Lennon to capture the personalities of the featured chopper artists. Zimberoff?s photographs have also appeared on the cover of Time, Fortune, People and numerous other national magazines.
Art of the Chopper will retail for $39.95 ($63.95 in Canada) and will be available in bookstores everywhere in October 2003, in time for holiday gift giving. It also can be ordered through Classic Motorbooks at (800) 826-6600 or http://www.motorbooks.com/
Jesse Rooke Receives Major Coverage
Jesse is the young hot builder of the day. Stand back and watch what he builds in the future. Jesserookecustoms.com
Always Do Your Homework
A middle school science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, “You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and you’ll get fired!”. She then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open, and she said to those around her, “Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy.” Then turned to Mary and continued, “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
First, you have a dirty mind.
Second, you didn’t read your homework.
And third, one day you are going to be VERY, VERY
disappointed.
–from CarlR
DANNY HULL JOINS SAMSON MOTORCYCLE PRODUCTS, INC. Danny Hull has joined Samson Motorcycle Products Inc. as Chief of Research and Development and Corporate Driver. Danny comes with extensive experience in the motorcycle industry. Danny has most recently has been Lead Mechanic and Crew Chief for Roger Lee Hayden, Kurtis Roberts, Eric Bostrom and Nicky Hayden. “We are very pleased to have someone of Danny’s caliber join us Samson Exhaust said company President Kenny Samson. “Samson has always been known for developing high quality exhaust that sounds good, looks good and improves performance. With Danny on our team it means we will raise the industry bar on premium performance exhaust.”
All The Right Moves
Goldie, a recently widowed older lady, was sitting on a Florida beach in Miami Beach . She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby, and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
“Hello, sir, how are you?”
“Fine, thank you,” he responded, and turned back to his book.
“I love the beach. Do you come here often?” she asked.
“First time since my wife passed away last year,” he replied.
“Do you live around here?” she asked. “Yes,” he answered, continuing to read.
Goldie persisted. “Do you like pussy cats?”
With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life.
As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man, “How did you know that was what I wanted?”
The man replied, “How did you know my name was Katz?”
–from Geno, the HORSE
RubberTail Lives
I came across the article about Steed’s new chassis design, the original mono-shock beneath the seat which was created after John Covington and crew made a special trip and visited me in Van Nuys and road the RUBBERTAIL prototype. It’s the same RUBBERTAIL Markus Cuff photographed for an Easyriders feature and one year after you gave it a one liner after seeing at Lauglin earlier that year. I wonder where he got the idea?
RUBBERTAIL chassis will surface with new standard features “Air Shock” as well as manufactured in Brazil.
–Wil
That’s It, Let’s Ride– I avoid watching TV, can’t stand the commercial interruptions. Anyway, one commercial asks why we work? We all work to pay the bills then the reasoning changes from class, to ambition, to creative drive, to power.
But take your girl’s hand and lose yourself in her touch and all this other bullshit seems needless. Sure, I’m out of my mind, but I know the formula that makes my heart sing. I’ll let you in on the Bikernet plans for 2004 as the year comes sliding to an end. Let’s ride, but don’t forget to take her phone number with you. Heaven waits your return.
–Bandit
