At a party last night I was answering questions about the world wide run with moderate success until Dawson started throwing questions about the ship. I didn’t know the length or what the ship’s cargo was, besides the fact that it does not carry containers. I scrambled back to the headquarters and dug into the data while we were having a sexual breakfast.
The MS Leon is 584 feet in length, 88 feet wide and carries anything from cars and boats to produce and wine. Sin Wu and I snuck out to lunch today and ran into a couple of seaman out of New York city. They highly recommended the Leon and said that I have the trip of a lifetime ahead of my sorry ass.
I have also been deer avenged this week. Don Whalen and master of motorcycle restoration with his partner Rogan were rolling out from an antique bike event in Mount Shasta, California when a deer darted into the road fortunately missing the front of his blown pickup, but the poor beast was snagged by the pointed bow of the following trailer and cut in two. That’s one down. Let’s get to the news:
Osama Downed
News services are now reporting that Osama bin Laden has been captured by U.S. Special Forces.
In a highly secret covert operation, the entire country of Afghanistan was sprayed with an aerosol form of Viagra, and the little prick popped right up.
Film at 11:00
–Dr. Hamster
Bon voyage And Bon Chance! Don’t forget to pack your good luck “Fuck You, I’m An American!” t-shirt to go with your lucky “Jihad This, Asshole!” cap.
I’ve sent along confirmation of the terrorist deer dispatch project, Operation Oslama bin Bambi. Mission accomplished.
We’ll be watching CNN for chance sightings. Mind your manners. Watch your step.
-JS
ABATE.com News–
YOUR help is needed on this issue NOW! Please complete the ONLINE survey now for each motorcycle you own, then do 2 other things to help:
After an impromptu meeting down in Washington DC this week, certain information has been requested from motorcyclists in order to support and explain our opposition to EPA’s rule on motorcycle emission standards.
Because of this meeting, we find ourselves in a position of needing information that only YOU can supply. We need ALL MOTORCYCLISTS to fill out the following survey and return it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! You need not be a member of ABATE of Ohio, Inc., the ONLY requirement is that you own a street bike.
You can take the survey online (by clicking on the highlighted link) or you can print out however many copies you need and return them to: ?
ABATE of Ohio, Inc.?
Legislative Office
PO Box 29246
Columbus OH 43229
Hello Brothers & Sisters of HOG
Efforts are under way to create a website which lists some of the best bike runs in several areas of the USA.
Your input will make this one of the foremost source’s for ride ideas which can be shared by all who enjoy our enthusiasm for a ride on a big twin! WE HAVE NO RUNS IN YOUR AREA!
Here is an entry form to send your ideas! http://www.shipyourbike.com/Submit_Ride.htm
After we have collected a good number of these we will post them all at http://www.GreatBikeRuns.com
–Mike
GreatBikeRuns.com
Drinking Recommendations–
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in,staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle,shouting,
“Your mom’s the best lay in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just screwed your mom, and it was sweet!”
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom liked it! ”
Finally the guy interrupts. “Go home, Dad,… you’re drunk!” ???
–from Chris T.
Jay Leno Leads Love Ride
BURBANK, CA: Jay Leno’s Harley drew $360,200! It’s been all over TV and news media. That bike isn’t worth that kind of money but the public needed a good excuse to spend money to help the victims of Sept 11th. The proceeds from the online e-bay sale of the scoot and matching truck went to the Twin Towers Fund for victims of the terrorist attack. Very generous of Jay Leno, I say.
I was impressed that the guy who bought the bike was a regular Joe and no celebs stepped up to the plate except to sign the bike. Jay was also the leader of the Love Ride today and a member of the board of directors who decide how the money from the event is used.
This article was taken from this week’s gunny sack of legislative information by AIM. Don’t forget to get your AIM card to protect you in an accident situation–no charge. If you or a friend had an accident call (800) ON-A-BIKE immediately for assistance.
Hamster Report
I was just reading the Robb Report (magazine). There’s a really great article in there called Cycle Psyche. It’s a 4-page profile on Dave Perewitz, the president of the Hamsters. Great article with quotes from Bob Illingworth (Hamster) and Joe Pro (Hamster) and of course Susie! It’s the Robb Report, November 2001 issue. Check it out. I looked for the article on their website but unfortunately they did not have that article listed.??
–Patty
Christmas Is Just Around The Bend
Yep, it’ll be here before you know it, and we’re working hard to enhance out Gulch product line and give you the best deals for the holidays. Check it out.
If Dear Abby were a Man ! ! !
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. What do you think I should do?
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
If you need to read some more Abby turned straight responses, check Knucklebusters on Bikernet.
Deer Press Release
Minneapolis, Wisconsin, The Union of Deer Running Free met this week and indicated some of their terrorist notions for keeping their ranks strong and maintaining the status as the most deadly animal known to man.
In a statement the president said emphatically, “We never asked for man to build road or cars,” Mr. Rain said. “We have never been consulted by any of the car making unions or road workers. We’ve had enough, and have developed a comprehensive approach to enhancing our ranks and road crossing techniques.”
Miss Deer Union, Bambi was not available for questioning, but rumor has it that Larry King will interview her shortly.
I’d tell you more about the Love Ride Weekend, but I’m still trying to sober up and get my laptop together for the trip. It was a helluva weekend.
One more thing. Tomorrow is Monday, Veterans’ Day. Take a break guys and send a prayer to brother all over the world who are fighting terrorism. Ride forever, Bandit
