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OKLAHOMA MEN’S PICK-UP LINES– 1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? cuz I’d like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.
8) Man – ‘Fat Penguin!’ Woman – ‘WHAT?’ Man – ‘I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.’
9) I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
10) I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went in this cheap motel room.
11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afte rnoon.
BEST FER LAST
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
–from Jim Waggoman
2006 SPCNS Amazing Shrunken FXR–FOR SALE AT MICAH MCCLOSKEY’S SHOP– This unique shrunken bike, the first FXR Bobber, started out with the Quantum Cycle Pro Street frame. It was reshaped by DR. JOHN himself, in Anaheim, California. The bike was specifically designed and built for a smaller rider, then powered with a complete Rev Tech drive line. Every element possible was shrunk then master painter, Harold Ponteralli, created a simple yet stunning paint job that will never be out-dated.
Keith R. Ball, the former editor of Easyriders and the owner of Bikernet.com designed the shrunken machine and put all the elements together. Each stage was covered on Bikernet.com and featured in American Rider. Ball put 40 some-odd years of experience to use, fabricating and assembling this miniature FXR. Parts from the master-builder Cyril Huze including his gas tank and oil tank. Only the finest components were used throught out the entire build from a BDL primay drive to Joker Machine controls. Call Micah at (818) 348-8967 for more info.
LET’S TAKE A CHURCH BREAK– An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. Father, he confessed, ‘It has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.’
The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven my son. Now go and say three Hail Mary’s.’
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.’
This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Nookie Green?’
‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied.
‘Very well my son,’ sighed the priest. Now go and say ten Hail Mary’s.
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.
The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but enough.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Nookie Green?’
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,
‘No Father, I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes.’
–from Buckshot
NCOM CONVENTION RAISES THE BAR–?Large & In Charge? was the theme of the 23rd annual NCOM Convention in Houston, Texas, and in living up to the hype it drew 1,640 attendees from across the country making it the largest gathering of bikers? rights activists in the world! Held Mother?s Day weekend, May 8-11, 2008, this annual gathering featured meetings, seminars and group discussions focusing on safety issues, legal rights, legislative efforts and litigation techniques to benefit our right to ride and Freedom of the Road.
Following the AIM Chief of Staffs meetings on Wednesday and an NCOM Board of Directors meeting on Thursday, the Convention kicked off Friday morning with the NCOM Legislative Task Force meeting and the AIM Attorney Conference. Afternoon seminars included ?Lobbying 101? and ?New and Successful Programs in Bikerland?. Special Meetings were convened for “SMRO Presidents,” “Christian Unity Conference,” “Women in Motorcycling,” “Black Clubs and Minority Outreach,” and “Clean and Sober Roundtable.”
The Confederation of Clubs General Patch Holder Meeting on Friday evening was the best attended to date, and featured representatives of over 50 COC’s from throughout North America.
This year’s agenda was packed with interesting and thought-provoking sessions, including ?Global Changes in the Laws Affecting Motorcyclists?, ?Brothers Behind Bars?, ?Defenders – A New Political Action Group?, a meeting of the American Biker Party and Slider Gilmore’s always informative and entertaining ?The Golden Hour? seminar teaching bikers how to save each others’ lives.
Topping off the weekend’s festivities was the traditional Silver Spoke Awards Banquet, recognizing the achievements and accomplishments of our fellow riders. South Dakota State Senator Jim “Putt” Putnam entertained the crowd as the dinner speaker during the Silver Spoke Awards ceremony on Saturday evening with his homespun humor. This year’s Silver Spokes were awarded to: GOVERNMENT: Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Seamus McCaffery; MEDIA: Bill & Darlene Bish, publishers of Ridin? On Motorcycle Magazine; LEGAL: Texas A.I.M. Attorney William Smith; ENTERTAINMENT: Musician Jimmy Vaughn, who ignited the crowd with his new song about Freedom; SPECIAL RECOGNITION: Laura Reid, NCOM Board Secretary; and the RON ROLOFF LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD was presented to longtime freedom fighter Dave Breakiron of ABATE of Delaware.
Many thanks to ABATE of Texas, the Texas Motorcycle Rights Association (TMRA-II) and the Texas Confederations of Clubs for hosting this record-setting event. Thanks also go out to the Texas Confederations of Clubs and Soldiers for Jesus M/C for hosting Hospitality Suites during non-meeting times throughout the weekend.
The 2008 NCOM Convention was dedicated to the memory of Waldo Stuart, Longview Tom and Michael ?Twanger? Hays.
Make plans now to attend next year’s 24th Annual NCOM Convention next Mother?s Day weekend, May 7-10, 2009, in Reno, Nevada. For further information, contact NCOM at (800) 525-5355.
KIDS & CHROME APPOINTS GUSINSKY AS EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR–RAPID CITY, S.D. ? The Kids & Chrome Foundation, promoter of Kids & Chrome, a high-end benefit dinner and auction held annually during the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, announced that Ronda Oman Gusinsky, President of OutSource Solutions, Inc., is selected as the foundation?s first Executive Director.
OutSource Solutions, under Gusinsky?s leadership, currently serves as the Sponsorship Agent of Record for the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. Gusinsky will continue in this capacity through September 30, 2008, when she departs to step into the role of Executive Director of the Kids & Chrome Foundation.
Gusinsky?s tenure with the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally began as Director for Champion Rally Productions, the North Carolina Company hired in the fall of 1999 to manage the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. In 2002, upon Champion?s departure, Gusinsky formed OutSource Solutions, Inc., and as its president, has continued to serve as Sponsorship Agent for the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.
Gusinsky admits that the decision to ?shift gears? was a difficult one. ?The Kids & Chrome Foundation is a very visionary and dedicated group of people who bring together this wonderfully eclectic world-wide community of motorcycle enthusiasts to support programs in the Black Hills for abused and neglected kids and to preserve the great history of motorcycling. It?s a very special and unique dual mission and it?s an honor for me to be selected as Kids & Chrome?s first Executive Director.?
?Right now, however, my focus is with my sponsorship responsibilities for the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally?, Gusinsky continued. ?I definitely have my work cut out for me over the next few months, and I?ll be the first to admit that leaving the role of sponsorship agent for the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, and the wonderful relationships associated with that role, will be bittersweet?, she said. ?But, I also look forward to stepping in to the role of Executive Director for Kids & Chrome this fall, and to developing new and exciting opportunities to further its mission?.
Proceeds from Kids & Chrome?s annual dinner and auction, attended by over 400 motorcycle enthusiasts and industry professionals from across the US and around the globe, benefits the outreach and programs provided by two vital Black Hills non-profit organizations, Children?s Home Society of South Dakota, the ?Kids? in the foundation?s moniker, and the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame, the ?Chrome?. In 2007, Kids & Chrome raised over $100,000 in contributions, gifting $70,000 to the Children?s Home Society and $30,000 to the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame.
For event or ticket information for the August 6, 2008, Kids & Chrome benefit, contact Stacey Sharp, Kids & Chrome Event Coordinator, at stacey@thesharpagency.com or phone 605/341-5226. Tickets can also be ordered on-line at kidsandchrome.com. For Kids & Chrome sponsorship information or to donate auction items for the event, contact Darla Crown at Children?s Home Society at darla.crown@chssd.org or phone 605/391-5555. Kids & Chrome is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation.
BULLET FALCON CORRECTION FOR BIKERNET METRIC–Great that you put up some stuff about our bullet falcon, I just saw your link: http://www.bikernet.com/News-METRIC/
Thought I should let you know though .. that the photo you put up …is not actually of the Bullet Falcon, it’s of a really old bike Ian built ages ago
Here’s a photo of the Bullet Falcon if you would like to change it up so that your article is accurate :)We called it the “Bullet Falcon” (like the species of falcon)
Amaryllis
Here’s a link to a video about Ian and the bike too if you’re interested :)http://falconmotorcycles.com/video/fm/html/high_net_worth_bullet_falcon.html
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