One more point to celebrate. It?s Easter and, while at a barbecue on the bridge deck, I was introduced to a bottle of Johnny Walker. This trip has virtually been a dry voyage, but I got a couple of stiff drinks of Red, which I?m not a fan of. The Captain ordered a case of Jack Daniels, but it disappeared faster than a harbor fog behind gale force winds. Whatever, have a helluva holiday. For you roaming bastards like me, nut up and be family men for a day, will ya. Let?s get to the news:
Bikernet E-mail Investigations
Like most major ivory tower companies we monitor the employee?s e-mails, especially the girls. Here?s one we captured from Sin?s computer to another employee regarding a lesbian relationship:
My initial reaction to this dating thing was not to get involved with someone too close, geographical wise. But for someone like her, I don’t think it would matter. I wouldn’t be comfortable continuing this with her cause she has issues. It couldn’t be just an occasional fuck, which is too bad, there would have to be conversation as well and time spent. Maybe that’s selfish of me but I don’t think so. In our ads we say discreet and occasional, not a weekly relationship. We have now created a committee to investigate these ads.
Undercover Report On Buell Activities
Last week we reported that Buell had altered production severely. All week Bikernet has sought information as to the conditions of the Buell Enterprise. We have received two reports and both were positive. Here is one from a Bikernet photographer who has been working with Gene Sr., and Gene Jr. at the fleet center on Los Angeles:
Re Pt. 2: we’ll have to schedule Pt 2 very adroitly as Gene Jr. will be out most of April on the yearly HD catalogue shoot. Gene Sr. will also be out periodically on the yearly Buell shoot.And Allen[Alan?],the 3rd mechanic there will be out most of the next 5 weeks on a Buell Demo tour. Now and again one or two of ’em will be intown,but it’ll be catch as catch can…soooo—you may want to establish a deadline from for Pt 2 and start to figure which guy’ll be in town which week of–presumably–late April…Cheers,Markus
When Corporal Punishment Might Be Best…
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year old son play with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, “All you hoes and bastards who want off, get the hell off? now, ?cause this is the last stop! And all you assholes who are getting on, better move your ghetto asses onto the train pronto and sit them the fuck down, ?cause we are go?n down the tracks.”
The horrified mother rushed in to room, “Billy, you know that we don’t use that kind of language in this house! Now, I want you to go to your room, and you are to stay there for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train, but you will use nice language. Understand?!”
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother overheard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.”
She then hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”
Thanks Chris!
Pollution Alert! To All Ships At Sea…
News has it that there is some funky biker trash floating towards the U. S. mainland. Warn all mothers to keep their daughters indoors and tied to their beds. A rusty old bucket named the Leon has a crew of rabidly horny Pillipinos and a suicidal Polish captain. They have chained up said biker to the bottom of hold #1, ala King Kong. But the crew is threatening mutiny if the captain doesn’t jettison the biker. Panamanian guerillas have threatened to fire RPG’s onto the Leon if it’s spotted going through the canal. Naval blockades have been circling the Gulf of Mexico. Huston’s hookers have all joined the local nunnery. NuttBoy
The Leon is due to pass through the Panama Canal on the 4th of April, a day late, but that?s another story. If you go to www.pancanal.com web site you?ll be able to see the Leon traverse the Maria Flores gates. Watch for an insane passenger on the Bridge deck.
YOU ARE INVITED!
Meet the Hot Rod Bikes / White Brothers LA/Bikernet Calendar Bike Show Band “Powder” at their record Premier Party at the Key Club on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, CA, also on Wednesday April 3rd, 7:30pm. Details at http://www.FastDates.com
Plus complete details of the 2002 July 20-21st Calendar Show sponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler, Bikernet.com are online at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.HTM
Custom Chrome Is Proud To Present Our Latest Offering To The Aftermarket Performance Industry…
the RevTech? Engine. Not merely assemblies of existing aftermarket components, these engines have been redesigned on sophisticated CAD equipment to incorporate the latest in engine technology.
All components are made from all-new tooling in a modern state-of-the-art ISO 9000 manufacturing plant to bring to you the ultimate in high-performance and reliability. Some features include: Increased cooling fin surface area No head or base gaskets (ultra-high temperature o-rings are used instead).
High-performance computerized ignition that controls and monitors break-in for the ultimate in a smooth burn-in
Two-finishes available… black with chrome covers and natural with chrome covers. Compatible with Original Equipment and custom frames that accept Evolution? engines
Available in two engine displacements 88″ and 100″ 88 Cubic Inch has 4 1/4″ flywheel stroke with a 3 5/8″ bore 100 Cubic Inch has 4 3/8″ flywheel stroke with a 3 13/16″ bore.
This is the engine we have to build our first ground up full Bikernet ?Miniature Custom? for the smallest motorcycle journalist in the world, Nuttboy. Watch for weekly updates
16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK…
1. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable
12. Employees work later since there’s no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting “Bare ass” on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.”
Take a beer and send the truck to all of your friends!!!!!!
Easter Bunnies Rule
Okay, so after you see to it that the kids on the block had a blast discovering colored eggs in the weeds, under the cars on jacks and motor homes, and you complimented the old lady, your aunts and faggot uncles on their pink dresses, now you can split.
Grab the scooter and hit it two blocks over to that house that you ignore when the old lady is in the car. I know, you don?t even have to honk your horn, just the crackle of your pipes will bring her running to the sidewalk. She?s wearing a pink sweater over those hardly containable tits and a black leather jacket. She spreads her legs first for your fender.
Now the day really begins. Ride forever, Bandit.
