Buell Flash
We received the following report for and undisclosed dealership, ” Harley-Davidson/Buell have discontinued all Buell models except for the Blast and Thunderbolt..”
From JK
Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes? Well now you do….
A – Almost Boobs
B – Barely there
C – Can Do
D – Damn good
DD – Doubly damn good
E – Enormous
F Fake
An Open Letter To The Federal Avaition Agency
Federal Aviation Agency
800 Independence Avenue S.W.
Washington D.C. 20591
Dear Sirs:
I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet.
Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hopes of seeing a naked woman.
We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales. Now why didn’t Congress think of this?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
–From MM.
Bandit’s Senior Report Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What’s that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local Drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn’t matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
The pharmacist fainted.
–From MM
Jesse James And Rumor Control Ya know, I really hate to ask this fucking question but, I have to… Well I work at an H-D dealership,it is unlike the yuppie “mall dealerships” , we have a bunch of really cools guys.
EVERY fuckin day somebody comes in and ask about Jessie James being arrested…my question:what the fuck is up with that? I was in Daytona a couple weeks ago and seen Jessie and actually had a conversation with him, and seen a bunch of “Free Jessie” mechandise. I didn’t ask him because I’m sure EVERY one else did. Also to Bandit; cool artical about the imfamous Yuma Run, in HORSE mag, I enjoyed it.
–From JK
Since I’m still stuck on this prison ship for another 15 days before I hit Houston and escape to LA, I’m not sure. I dropped Jesse an E-mail, but haven’t heard anything.–
Amish Tech Tip An Amish woman is driving her horse and buggy down the road when she get’ s pulled over. “You have a broken reflector on your buggy,” the cop says, “but more important, one of your reins is looped around your horse’s balls. That’ s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”
Later that day, the woman tells her husband, “A policman pulled me over today for two reasons. First, he said the reflector was broken.”
“Well, that’s easily fixed,” says her husband. “What else?”
“I’m not sure…something about the emergency brake.”
ATTENTION: Harley Enthusiasts
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Insider Report On Mike Tyson
As part of his parole agreement, Mike Tyson has to go back to school and finish grade 5. This is Mike’s English assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel – I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.
2. Dictate – My girlfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb – I saw Don King at da fights the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose – If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
> 5. Rectum – I had two Cadillacs, but my bitch rectum both.
6. Disappointment – My parole officer tol’ me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis – I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel – Tito try to sell me a rolex. I say, “Man, it look fake.” He say, “Bullshit, that watch Israel.”
9. Undermine – There’s a fine lookin’ ho in the apartment undermine.
10. Acoustic – When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the pool hall.
11. Iraq – When we got the poolhall, I tol’ my uncle, “Iraq, you break.”
12. Stain – My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, “Do you plan on stain for dinner?”
13. Fortify – I axed this ho on da street, “how much?” she say,”fortify”.
14. Income – I just got in bed wif a ho and income my wife.
Quick And Dirty
What can you expect. I’m lost at sea, hungry for the real world, Jack Daniels, girls and my touring chopper. Can’t wait to ride again. And goddamnit if I don’t have a plan for our next project bike. Now, I’m really pumped.–Bandit
