Hey, for all you dads, I hope you’re getting a break today. Being a dad can be tough in today’s wacky world. May the road always be a friend to you. For all of us outlaw muthers who have been drawn more to the road than our families, what can I say. I hope the kids don’t hang us.
Speaking of families, I’ve got a doctor buddy who describes families as toxic, because of the countless problems within families, as we all know. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons I ride. Can’t pack much of a family on a motorcycle. One the other hand I experienced family to the hilt this weekend with one party after another. The parties started Friday with a surprise party for a ex-rider turning 40. He’s a tugboat captain who has eight brothers and sisters, not to mention all his pals from the docks. Hell of a night, followed by the 60th birthday of my martial arts master Dick Bondano, then Layla?s mother’s birthday party and we haven’t listed father’s day yet. Let’s get to the news:
Rogue’s Laconia Report About To Launch
Long time biker journalist rode to Laconia from Florida where he’s documented the event for Bikernet and numerous magazines. It should be launched in a couple of days, but on the surface reports are good.
“Have been to Wiers Beach yesterday and every thing seems fine. The crowds are reported a little less than prior years but it makes it a lot easier to get around,” Rogue reported from the front. “Rain off and on but Thursday bright and Sunny. Started off in leathers and ended up in T-Shirts.”
A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!”
This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game.
The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!”
Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.”
The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
–from Nuttboy
Sasha Scores Book Contract
My book will finally be in print with Kensington Books March 2003:
Bikerlady
Sexy Powerful Free
and in control of her destiny . . .
on the road and in life
A celebration of women motorcyclists worldwide! www.bikerlady.com/book Check out the website for more info.
Our legislative news is sponsored by the guys above. If you know of someone in an accident, have them contact these guys for free legal assistance.
Lawmakers in Arizona have decided to give motorcycles a pass from the state’s mandatory emissions test, the only state that requires motorcyclists to pass such testing.
“On May 6th our Emissions Bill HB 2501, which puts us as a ‘priority’ for the state DEQ (Department of Environmental Quality) to consider removal of motorcycles from the emissions testing prior to any plan submission to EPA, was signed by Governor Jane Dee Hull,” wrote Roger “Priest” Hurm, Chairman of the Board for the MMA of Arizona and member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) board of directors.
For the complete report, check the Bikernet Motorcyclists Rights Page for the latest in legal wrangling.
Subject: The Coach & Man Coming Home Early
The coach had put together the perfect team for Detroit Lions. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away, ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph, bulls-eye!
“I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!” So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history.
The young Bosnian is hailed as the Great Hero of football, and when Coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.
“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old woman says. “You deserted us. You are not my son.”
“I don’t think you understand, Mother!” the young man pleads. “I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”
“No, let me tell you,” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight.”
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “..I’ll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
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Could be a connection for better deals than are offered during bike week. Rooms the week before the event went for as low as $30 a night.
Count all the ones that you remember- not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack Chewing Gum.
2. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.
3. Candy cigarettes.
4. Soda Pop machines that dispensed bottles.
5. Coffee Shop with tableside Jukeboxes.
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.
7. Party lines on the phone.
8. News reels before the movie.
9. P. F. Flyers.
10. Butch wax.
11.Telephone numbers with a word prefix – (Olive-6375).
12. Peashooters.
13. Howdy Doody.
14. 45 RPM Records.
15. S & H Green Stamps.
16. Hi-Fi’s.
17. Metal ice trays with a lever.
18. Mimeograph paper.
19. Blue flashbulbs.
20. Packard autos.
21. Roller skate keys.
22. Cork popguns.
23. Drive-ins.
24. Studebaker autos.
25. Washtub wringer.
If You Remembered —
0 – 5 You’re still young
6 – 10 You’re getting older
11 – 15 Don’t tell your age
16 – 25 You’re older than dirt
–from Chris T.
Can I get A Drink?
Didn’t get moving until almost 10 a.m. Layla has become a master at making crepes while I charged a new 12-volt battery for the ’48 Pan. The original Custom Chrome battery has lasted some eight years. I don’t ride the Pan that much, so at times it went months between charges and always came back.
First stop at noon was Century Motorcycles in San Pedro for Cindy’s annual Father’s Day bash of free chow, antique bikes and rides on her electric skate boards. She was recently inducted into the Trail Blazers Hall of Fame. The shop has been around for some 60 years.
Wouldn’t that seem to be enough for one goddamn weekend? Oh hell no. We’ve got one more party to attend at the headquarters. A barbecue of fresh Salmon and I’m havin’ another drink before the week starts. Here’s our esteemed upcoming list of articles to be posted this coming week: Arkansas Nasty report on biker action in the Steel Magnolia state; another report on the Shrunken FXR project; the final World Report from Mexico to Houston, a new Life and Times and Chance segments in the cantina; a new digital discovery on restoration expert Mike Egan; We’re working on a feature on Jose’s shop and Sin recently informed me that I need to finish the dual carb tech on the ’48 Pan I rode this weekend. Should be an exciting week.
One more thing. In an effort to shovel cash into our bank account, a couple of bikes are for sale. My VL is going on the auction block in the next couple of weeks and the Red Ball Touring Chopper is on the block at the eBay Motors site.
I’m outta here. Have a helluva week.–Bandit
