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THE 100 PERCENT FORMULA–What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K equals:8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E equals:11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E equals:1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T equals:2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G equals:1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top.
–from Ray R.
BILLY LANE INJURED–I’m sorry to inform you, but it seems that, as according to thelocal newspaper, the Discovery Channel won’t be coming to the LittleSturgis,Ky Bike Rally next weekend.
Billy Lane, of Choppers Inc., was injured in a wreck and is toundergo surgery sometime this week.
The article went on to report, that Mike Brown, of Amen ChassisWorks, is still scheduled to make an appearance.
Let’s keep Billy in our thoughts and prayers.
–Rogue
SMOKE OUT BLUES–Just rolled in from the Horse Magazine Smoke Out 5 in Salisbury,NC.I’ll get you a write up and some photos in a few days after I recover from hosting 18,000 chopper fanitics in the rain and mud. Indian Larry, Billy Lane and Hank Young were there representing the Discovery Channel for all their fans.
Friday was a real wash out weather-wise. Torrential rains and mud reminicent of Woodstock 69. Spirits were high inspite of the inclement weather. Ice Cream Man From Hell and I were in charge of the stage both nights.We thought we would dry out the crowd with heat from some nekkid ladies. It seemed to warm things up a bit.
Hooked up with Jay, Makoto and Moto from Hard Core Choppers mag in Japan. Nice buncha dudes. Couldn’t be in NYC to show them around so I invited them down to the Smoke Out.I think they thought it was worth the trip. Hooked them up with Lane and crew and a few other East Coast builders and they were in Hog Heaven. They shot a few bike features and generally were impressed with the quality of the rides there.
Also hooked up with a dude named Rigid Frame Richard who was claiming to work for you to unsuspecting young nipples. Asked Jon Towle if he knew the dude, negative, sooooo, with all intentions of slamming him into the mud and confiscating his photo gear I politely asked him a few questions not telling him who I was and he seemed to know the right answers. He said that he was just a contributor and with that settled I took him under my hairy wing and got him stage access and made sure he and his friends had a good time.
–TBear
MO’ JANKLOW BULLSHIT–SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Former U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow was on duty when he caused a fatal accident last summer, so taxpayers should pay any civil damages in a wrongful death lawsuit, according to a court ruling Tuesday.
U.S. Magistrate Arthur Boylan sided with U.S. Attorney Tom Heffelfinger’s conclusion that Janklow, 64, was on official business Aug. 16 when he sped through a stop sign near Trent and collided with motorcyclist Randy Scott, 55, of Hardwick, Minn.
Boylan concluded that the federal government, not Janklow, should be listed as the defendant in the lawsuit filed by Scott’s mother, sister, son and daughter.
The family’s lawyer, Ronald Meshbesher of Minneapolis, wanted the case moved back to state court in Minnesota so the family could get punitive damages, something not allowed if the case stays in federal court.
Meshbesher said he’ll file an objection with U.S. District Judge Ann Montgomery in hopes of getting the ruling reversed.
If that doesn’t work, he’ll appeal to the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, Meshbesher said.
–from Rogue
I suppose the state always pays his traffic fines?–Bandit
THE STEALTH REPORT–All of the chopper build offs and bike related shows on the Discovery Channel has everyone talking about choppers. People you never would imagine are talking about building bikes. Everyone sees themselves as the next Jesse James. Most are looking through rose colored glasses and are only dreaming!
Every bike shop is named Something Choppers. Most are not chopper shops at all and do very little fabricating on their own. Maybe the name of these shops should be called “Bolt Together Choppers?” People have been coming in and asking “What engine should I use? What frame should I use? How long will it take? How much will it cost?” Most of these questions are relative as to how much you can do on your own and how FAT your wallet is. Most who have these dreams of building what they see on Discovery haven’t a clue as to what is involved in building what they see on TV! The guys they see on TV are very talented and do it everyday. You can’t teach talent and the art of having an “EYE” for what looks cool. Another fact is that building a chopper is not as easy as it looks on TV. Yeah, there isn’t anything that comes close in the fun department, but there is a lot of work involved. All of this is not bad though. The interest these shows generates helps our industry, the motorcycle industry. It means we have jobs, it means we can pay our bills and it beats the hell out of regular TV!
On a personal note my son Blair has told me he watched all the build offs and now wants to build his own chopper! He even confiscated one of my West Coast Choppers hats! Whether you like the shows or not, you have to agree they inspire a lot of people. I am waiting to see how serious my son Blair is about building a bike. Is he willing to make the sacrifices needed to obtain what is needed to put the bike together? He is only 24 and only time will tell. I told him that it will take a lot of work and that there is a lot more involved than just what you see on Discovery, his reply was “If they can do it, so can I!” Good answer and good attitude! It’s a start!
Everyone is jumping on the chopper band wagon these days, even good old Harley-Davidson. In their color chart for 2005 they have two colors that start with the word “Chopper!” Get this, “Chopper Blue and Chopper Pearl Blue!” Who would have thought it? It seems that anything with “chopper” on it is cool, young people, old people, people of every race are attracted to choppers. So in a strange sort of way choppers are uniting people. Do you think we could get the world leaders into choppers?”
Some people say that choppers went away and have made a comeback. I say that choppers never went away and were always around, they just didn’t get the publicity that they receive today and if they did back in the day it was negative. Now everyone and their grandmother wants to ride a chopper, again this is not all bad. For us “old schoolers” it is probably a bit strange to see bikes that were once seen as “The Outlaw or Bad Boy” only bikes now becoming more mainstream. There is a line from a Grateful Dead song (Truckin’) that says “What a long strange trip it’s been,” nothing has ever been any more true concerning the “Chopper Scene” of today.
One more thing, I am waiting for one of my favorite bike builders to be on Discovery. You ask who is that? Why my mentor Mr. Bandit of course! I always really dig his bikes, that outlaw style they all had always hit me in a good way!
One more note on choppers, on July 25th some of the HOTTEST choppers in the Charlotte area will come and compete in the 6th Annual Run For Breath Bike Show “In Memory of Justin Pullin.” The awards for this bike show are out of this world! They are made by local bike builders as well as nationally known builders and the “Best of Show” award is done by our own Mr. Bandit, it is AWESOME!
Well that is enough about choppers for this week, I have got myself all worked up, I have to go chop something and the “MEANEST” says she will help as long as she doesn’t have to get her hands dirty??? Go figure!!!
Until next week, RIDE!
STEALTHMAN
BIKERNET PARENTAL AND TRAVEL ADVICE–A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas Cityto Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to hismother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats,why don’t big planes have baby planes? “
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the flightattendant.
So the boy asked the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs and bigcats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”
The boy said, “Yes, she did.”
“Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes becauseSouthwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.”
–from Rogue
BIKERNET TRAVEL ADVICE–A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, lo and behold, he losthis wallet and all identification.
Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his way home but is stopped bythe Customs Agent at the border. “May I see your identification, please?” asks the agent.
“I’m sorry, but I lost my wallet,” replies the guy.
“Sure, buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border,” saysthe agent.
“But I can prove that I’m an American!” he exclaims. “I have a picture ofRonald Reagan tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of George Bush onthe other.”
“This I gotta see,” replies the agent. With that, Joe drops his pants andbends over in front of the agent.
“By golly, you’re right!” exclaims the agent. “Go on home to Boston.”
“Thanks!” he says. “But how did you know I was from Boston?”
The agent replies, “I recognized the picture of John Kerry in the middle.”
–Ken Miller
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