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CYRIL HUZE’ ALL SMOOTH HEADLIGHT– This all-smooth 5 3/4″ headlight?looks great?with all styles of bikes and is reasonably priced. Machined out of 6061-TC billet aluminum and perfectly chrome plated. It includes a sealed beam with a H4 style 55/60 watt halogen bulb and a chromed mounting block. Check his website at:? BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE–A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, butafter about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as sheran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the problemwas, and she explained. After hearing the story the doctor marched back to the first and demanded,?What?s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grownchildren and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?? The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and asked, “Does she stillhave the hiccups?? –from Nuttboy LA CALENDAR GIRL FOUND UNDER UMBRELLA–Los Angeles, CA, July 5th: The beautiful SBK FastDates.com Calendargirls who will be shooting on location at Laguna Seca World Superbike onthe July 12th-14th weekend with FastDates.com producer Jim Gianatsis forthe SBK World Superbike endorsed Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar,have also been selected by the World Superbike Championship winningDucati Corse team to be their official umbrella girls for their 3 riderteam including reigning and current season World Superbike Championshippoints leader Troy Bayless, together with Ruben Xaus and Ben Bostrom. The SBK FastDates.com Calendar girls for Laguna Seca include Miss WorldGreat Britain, Nicola Lane, a tall and beautiful 5’9″professional model and theatrical dancer from London.Other confirmed FastDates.com models for Laguna Seca includebreathtaking 5′ 9″ brunette Lauren Nicole, a Los Angeles based printmodel and a spokesmodel on E! television, and current Fast Datescalendar model Shannon Gonzales. Calendar girls Nicki Lane and Lauren Nicole will also be appearing inperson throughout the July 20-21st weekend for the premier of the 2003FastDates.com Calendars at the Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show atthe Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach, California, the biggest streetbike event in America. Complete details of the Calendars, the Models,and the Bike Show are available online at www.FastDates.com BIKERNET DRUG USE STUDY– The long term implications of drug use and cosmetic enhancement procedures must be fully considered. Over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than has been spent on Alzheimer’s disease research. It is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a very large number of people wandering aimlessly with big breasts and huge erections who can’t remember what to do with them! –from Nuttboy THE GREEN MACHINE REPORT– Recently, the Green Machine M/C of East Valley had invited your club and/orasked you to post our July 27, 2002 event flyer, which was to be held inWinchester at the Wild West Arena and to benefit the Juvenile DiabetesAssociation, onto your website events page. We appreciate those who werewilling to post it or indicated your attendance and look forward to seeingyou “in the wind” as we ride this summer. However and unfortunately, the County of Riverside Sheriff’s DepartmentHemet Station has denied the “special use” permit required by the County toput on such an event, even after we demonstrated security measures, facilitylayout, timeframes, alcohol limitations and multiple events to take place.Without going into too much detail as to why, the primary reason was thesimple fact that we are “Bikers” and belong to a motorcycle club. Thisstereotyping is unfortunately very prominent these days and will be so forquite some time, despite the fact that more than seven large motorcycleevents have taken place incident free throughout the state and in otherssince Laughlin. Nevertheless, we obviously can’t get the cancellation message out toeveryone who obtained the event information and so many will be riding intotown that day. So if you’re still planning on coming out to the area, aswill many because of the great location, we ask that you visit one of themany “Biker” friendly establishments within the Hemet, San Jacinto andWinchester areas, which are nearby Highway 79 and Highway 74 in RiversideCounty. As a means of “silent protest”, this would be a great way to show those whochoose to profile that we “Bikers” as a community are upstanding andcontributing members to special causes and benefits, the communities we liveand places we work. On July 27, 2002, it would be great to see as manymotorcyclists ride thru the area to demonstrate the many who ride. Unfortunately, this time it is not we who lose because of sensationalism andscare tactics practiced by certain bureaucrats, it is the local JuvenileDiabetes Association and those the organization serve who lose out. Respectfully, Green Machine M/C SINGULAR REPORT FROM RUN TO THE WALL– ?That’s not a “before” advertisment for Nair, that’s me, the end product of two million years of human evolution! ?I was right in the middle of a week long bout of hay fever when this picture was shot, and in between a series of sneezes. ? Also, just before I got off the freeway (and I cruise at 85-90 mph), a flying bag of wet cement .. or some very large insect .. couldn’t tell which, had hit me dead center in the snot locker (nose). ?Whatever hit me bloodied my nose .. I actually saw stars for a moment .. and my face ?was covered with bug goo. ?Lots of bug goo! ? As soon as we got off the bike at Pikes Peak H-D, I looked in the mirror to check for damage. ?I remember telling Sheri that I looked like someone who had just had a long, hard, satisfying drink from the Yak gut drain at a high volume slaughterhouse! ? This picture was taken just after I washed my face with water from my canteen, but before I brushed the chunks of thorax from my beard and hair. ?Other than that, I’m proud to have my picture representing Run For The Wall 2002 in this very patriotic 4th of July Independence Day issue of the Colorado Springs Gazette. POLISH SAUSAGE– A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?” The guy, clearly offended says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something.If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya?” The clerk says, “Well, no.” With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?” The clerk replies, “Because this is a hardware store.” –from Chris T. TELEMARKETING CURE– I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren’t able to call people at home during the dinner hour. But that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed “Three Little Words” based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation, that would stop the nuisance for all time. The three little words are “Hold on, please.” Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately — would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company’s beep-beep-beep tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you’ll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting. –from Chris T. HEY, WE PROMISED–to bring you another report on the progress of this bike from Easyriders of Quincy, Illinois. I was frankly knocked-out by some of the design and workmanship. And once more we promise to bring you more on this shop in the near future. Also check out their web site http://www.easyridersquincy.com *Most Definitely*–A martial arts school teacher says to his class, “Who can use the word’Definitely’ in a sentence?” First, a little girl, Nyla, says, “The sky is definitely blue.” ? Teacher says,”Sorry Nyla, but the sky can be gray or orange…” Second, a little boy, Keith, says …”Trees are definitely green.” ? “Sorry, but inthe autumn, the trees are brown.” Little Karley from the back of the class stands up and asks: “Does a farthave lumps?” The Sensei looks horrified and says…”Karley! Of course not!!!” “OK…then I most DEFINITELY shit my pants…” –from Dick Bondano Continued On Page 3
